after 2012 the joe-caucus chair will be manchin

Lieberman Pretty Sure Connecticut Will Elect Him Again

Senator Joe Lieberman says he hasn’t made a decision about seeking re-election in 2012, but he sounds like he might be leaning toward running. During the taping of an interview for this week’s “Face the State with Dennis House,” I asked the 4 term independent if he thinks he could win re-election. The answer: “yes,” while admitting it will be a difficult race.

Sounds like Joementum to us.

So who’s this fucker going to lose to this time, a convicted child embezzler? A chronic cancer-patient rapist? A kitten arsonist? [The Hardfordite via Political Wire]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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42 comments

    1. JustPixelz

      i am a Connecticut voter now. If Joe-Mentum becomes the Demoncrat nominee, I would vote for the Repubican on the general principle that he/she is at least honest about it. Unless the Repubican is a TP'er, then I'll vote for Bristol Palin because she's a plucky orphan.

  1. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I want Joe to run so I can see him lose. However, if he won I would have to dedicate my life to destroying Connecticut and I really got other things to do like shovel the roof and mow the cat.

  2. horsedreamer_1

    He's going to run for the same reason Brett Favre keeps coming back: he cannot stand his wife, & she, him.

    Hadassah, do us all a favour & boil your man's bunny.

    1. SorosBot

      Great, now I've got the image of Lieberman texting photos of his wang to some Fox News blond stuck in my head.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Why? It's not like Lindsay didn't see it a thousand times over on the Straight Talk Express elephant-line.

  3. hagajim

    Maybe Linda McMahon can spend more of her money to run against Joe Shmoe….would be interesting and could be headlined Wingnut vs. Walnuts Buddy.

  4. freakishlywrong

    Joe is a political hermaphrodite. He's got a peepee and a vajayjay and is never quite sure which one to vote with.

  5. x111e7thst

    Joe is on a mission from God to make sure we bomb Iran forever. He needs to get re-elected.

  6. Not_So_Much

    Jeebus, wouldn't a cardboard cutout of a generic politician have a better chance and more personality?

  7. user-of-owls

    This is a pathetic story;
    about a pathetic monster;
    on a pathetic side-bar post.

    Thus, my pathetic comment.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    Joe Lieberman is fast approaching the occasion when he is rejected by the Joe Lieberman Party.

  9. Radiotherapy

    I'm sure there is a bored wife of a professional wrestling executive they could put up against him.

  10. mumbly_joe

    The problem is, if he doesn't seek re-election, or he doesn't win, then my particular pithy alias and avatar will suddenly be out of a non-paying job. Why won't anyone think of the children Internet forum avatars?!

    Even if he runs and loses, at least that would let me forestall the inevitable, for a bit, and maybe come up with something clever to replace it, so here's hoping. Also, recounts and ballot challeges, too.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Oh, I don't think Liebermann would be going away. He'd just be sniping from the sidelines, on FOX News or CNN, & working (directly) for AIPAC, et. al.

    2. elviouslyqueer

      Look on the bright side. Given that Joe is and will always be an indecisive shitsack, if he loses, you can always change your alias/avatar to the dancing banana waving a "poop" sign. Voila, correlation intact!

  11. WriteyWriterton

    If I have to listen to his strangled nasal voice for six more years, I'll definitely stop supporting NPR/make my temporary boycott of NPR permanent. (Well, I won't be able to afford to donate anyway once my state legislature finishes "reforming" my public-employee pension out of existence.)

    1. Limeylizzie

      Oh how I agree with you, Writey, I have an insane fear of being seated next to him on a plane.

      1. WriteyWriterton

        He's like Arnold Stang, except for the fact(s) that he's narcissistic, stupid, and boring. Oh, and he isn't funny, either.

        And he proves that, sometimes, Quislings finish first.

  12. iburl

    Remember, it was establishment democrats like nObama and Hillarity who pushed for Lieberman over the democratic nominee. If holy Joe can dupe enough centrist dems again, he's a lock.

  13. zumpie

    Guess poor Ned Lamont's gonna be three time's a charm and finally, actually get himself elected.

    1. Negropolis

      Why, Lindsey Graham, of course. You could always tell he was playing Graham and Lieberman against each other. He gets off on people fighting for his love.

  14. ShaveTheWhales

    Normally, I have no trouble remembering that people elected to office are elected by a majority of those voting, and not by everybody in the relevant electoral area.

    Thus, I understand that not everyone in my native state of Wisconsin voted for Tailgunner Joe, nor against Russ Feingold. And that quite a few of us in my adopted state of California voted against St. Ronnie both for Governor and for President.

    But seriously, Connecticut, Joe Lie? In Connecticut?

    1. Lost_Teabaggers

      Hey shave…are you talking about "America's tailgunner" Joe McCarthy? Because my teabaggin', red-hatin', muslin-bashin', messican-boarder patrolin', double down eatin' with a PBR and a side of chili fries red-blooded real 'Merikan ass hopes so!

  15. mrblifil

    Since it's a fair probability that the Senator probably monitors comments to Wonkett posts which name him in the title, I'd like to take this opportunity to tell him to go fuck himself.

  16. Lost_Teabaggers

    Yeah Lieberman and using the plausability of your logic I'm pretty sure if given a chance Sofia Vergara would sleep with me.

  17. largefooted

    Joe may be a douche bag, but at the same time HE DID champion DADT repeal and Climate.

    He may stab us in the back on somethings, but for some reason, on things we chicken out on, he suddenly becomes a strong progressive.

    I still want to send him a big bag of dildos for the whole healthcare fuck up though.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      … on things we chicken out on, he suddenly becomes a strong progressive.

      It's all part of his contrarian act, to seem "above the fray" & "post-partisan". Or, as David Broder calls it, foreplay.

  18. ttommyunger

    Sorry, but every time I see Joe, I can't help wondering: who's Hadassah been fucking all these years. I alway thought she seemed normal and looks semi-hot. You know Joe ain't never had a good fuck in him. I'm guessing Biden on the side. He was alone for a few years and they are neighbors, sort of. Same first name, easy to remember when you're coming. Oh well, that's just how I roll.

  19. WordSaladNation

    I, WordSaladNation, will run against Joe Lieberman in 2012. My platform will be as follows:

    1) I will require weekly guided tours of financial industry executives' Greenwich mansions.
    2) I will require the U.S. military to be "gay only."
    3) Jack and Ken will be hired to "polish" the U.S. Constitution.
    4) I will make Babyface's 1989 hit "Whip Appeal" our national anthem.
    5) I will not be an asshole douchebag.

    It'll be an easy win!

Comments are closed.