Many tried to top the Epic Comedy of Christine O’Donnell’s actual political commercial about being a witch, but only one brave man could approach the occult pathos of the Delaware Masturbation Witch’s official campaign advertisements, and that was this guy. Who else made us ashamed in 2010? Oh pretty much everybody, but these six videos won the Special Olympics.

Remember when stupid old John McCain nearly bored David Patraeus to death? We remember, we remember.

Even Democrats got into the act of going psychotic on video. Here, a congressman named “Rep. Bob Etheridge (D-NC)” throttles some libertarian-teabagger children sent to drive him nutty.

And here’s some brilliant campaign commercial from Democrats in Ohio. Nothing makes people want to run to the polls like a teevee commercial full of naked fat-ass people whining about Natalie Portman or whatever.

Who can forget the proud moment when a bunch of charming rednecks went to the invisible “9/11 mosque” and verbally assaulted an actual 9/11 Ground Zero construction worker because he looked “sorta Muslim” (black)?

And finally, David Vitter’s bastard poop baby made his video debut. Giant diaperman for Senate!

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  • user-of-owls

    The Ox will not be ignored!

  • chascates

    Hopefully, the Revolution will not be televised.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Poop poop a doop!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Throttling college kids on video should actually help a politician win over the O'Reilly viewership vote. How'd that guy do anyway?

  • DCHatesMe

    I don't want to see America naked. Can we get that on a petition?

    • Tommmcatt

      We should get that in the Constitution.

    • SecretMuslin

      Shirt-off-my-back dude seriously needs to consider a manziere.

  • And finally, David Vitter’s bastard poop baby made his video debut. Giant diaperman for Senate!

    Diaper Dave versus Poop Daddy: Two pantloads enter, one pantload leaves.

  • Apparently America no longer feels compelled to cover their excesses. I have feared this day would come.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Just a quick observation today. There are a lot of new articles on Wonkette today, I assume because there's a lot of funny shit going on. But there are amazing numbers of comments appearing almost instantly. Is anyone actually working today? I know I'm not, even though I'm here at the office. I've solved a couple of software problems for my boss (brownie points!), installed a cute little freeware program that will help me work at home, but as for actual work? Zip. I think many of you are in the same boat, just waiting to crack open a fresh brew in a couple of hours. Or as soon as you finish this one.

    • user-of-owls

      I'd reply to this, but it's already 4 minutes old.

    • I got the whole week off, so I'll only lose two weeks to the year-end reaper.

      Cheers! *hic*

    • SorosBot

      No one is actually working today; my office is half empty, with almost all the partners gone, the phones have hardly been ringing and everyone just seems to be waiting for 5:00.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Why wait? Open that bottom drawer!

    • slappypaddy

      you got it. i'm at the office but i'm fucked if i know why. i'm the only one here and nothing but wonkette and fassbinder previews are happening. oh, and earlier, there were boney m youtubes.

      this is the best fucking job in the world. i'm getting paid more than minimum wage, get medical insurance, too, and all i have to do is stay till closing time and avoid burning the place down.

      • DashboardBuddha

        Can you email me an app?

    • x111e7thst

      I am actually working today. But strongly considering giving that up in favor of hunting y'all down and killing you.

      • ttommyunger

        Hold on, my address follows…

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Funny, I was just thinking of all our friends who are conspicuously absent…Extemp, Elvis, Fare la Volpe…..what, is everyone taking their 4-week vacation overseas or summ?

      • Fare la Volpe

        I was visiting my wee bitty cousins in Virginia. And by Virginia I mean that 50% of the state only accessible by sled dog and a 5-hour hike. Honestly, these freaks live out in an area with no cell reception, let alone a decent internet connection. I celebrated the season by getting trashed on Merlot and having a Nerf gun war with the 13-year-old and his extended relations. Then the 3-year-old and the 5-year-old acted out a Jedi duel for us with the light-n-sound lightsabers they got for Christmas — if you've never seen a toddler pretend to force-choke his older brother, you are seriously missing out.

        Finally, not gonna lie, I totally :3'd at being mentioned as a friend of the Wonkeratti. You're a peach, love.

    • NuttGobbler

      Well, my father-in-law just got one of those "Now-that-you've-spent-hundreds-of-dollars-in-money-you-don't-have-to-give-your-family-a-decent-Christmas-here's-you-pink-slip" thingies, so… some of that, perchance?

      I, however, just delight in spending taxpayer money commenting on non-DoD approved websites.

    • WriteyWriterton

      My employer moved one last furlough day into this year, thus presenting me with a smaller-than-usual end-of-month check. But, BUT, I have a jerb, health-care, and a public-employee pension – at least until it evaporates in ~ 8 years, by which time the Republicans will have repealed teh Social Security on which I would have hoped to rely when said pension collapses.

      Dog food/soylent green for everybody in the house. It's on me, peeplz!

    • Fare la Volpe

      You have a job?

    • If by working you mean sitting in a Starbucks trying to write because I'm unemployed and don't really have anything else to do and it's pointless to send out resumes this week with half the working world on vacation, then yes I am working.

    • Gunner Asch

      Now that's the sad thing about being retired. I really miss those holiday days when I was on duty but nobody cared whether their commo systems worked or not so it was money for nothing (never did get my chicks for free, though).

  • Come here a minute

    Muslim is the new black. (Same as the old black.)

    • OneDollarJuana

      Texas coal plant downwinders are the new black.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The Five Percent Nation doesn't know whether to be offended or salute you.

    • BeWoot

      Won't get coaled again.

  • Ken, your roundup of this year's videos is giving me a strange Fellini in my stomach. Urrp!

    Congrats on yer compilation of La Douchie Video.

  • SorosBot

    Aaaah! Is that fat beardy man the Ain't it Cool News douche whose name I can't remember?

  • PublicLuxury

    Patraeus didn't barf on any Emperors or high political figures so he needs to be at the bottom!

  • horsedreamer_1


  • Redhead

    Need eye acid now, thanks.

    And I didn't even click play on any of the videos. The still of the lardman whose shirt was stolen was plenty, thanks.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Oh, but you must watch the "I'm not a witch" video. It really is funny.

  • JustPixelz

    i watched shirt ad and now am blind from clawing my own eyes out.

  • Pithaughn

    For anyone who does not think this Tea Party movement cannot overnight shift really far to the fright as in "Tea Brown Shirts" watch the last video. I say let the slob in the blue hat take the first swing and let the chips fall where they fall.
    There was a punk protesting Obama's visit to Grand Junction who put his foul tobacco tainted nose about an inch from mine, sadly, he was just brave enough to approach that threshold but not take the first swing. As a non-violent pacifist ant war hippie I cannot take the first swing, but the 2nd through 99? Fine by me. If it's violence they want, let them have it, just make sure you don't take the first swing and have some video.

    • GOPCrusher

      But they always manage to spin it as more proof that libruls are violent beasts. The first swing is merely an expression of your First Amendment Rights.

  • edgydrifter

    I like a little fur on the ladies, but dang… I hope Xtine got an Epilady in her stocking this year. That hedge is really getting out of hand.

  • Bluestatelibel

    Needs moar demon sheep!!!

  • Fare la Volpe


    Teabaggers are boycotting chickpeas now.

  • Neilist

    Re the XTINE Video: Oh, I say! Bravo, Sir! BRAVO!

    [Hey, I'm an ASSHOLE. But even I will acknowledge a performance that puts Larry Olivier in the shade.]

    Re the Mooslim Construction Worker Video:

    You know, conversations with Rednecks tend to be much more polite if one accessorizes the Mooslim headwear appropriately.

    Say, with an AK-47, an SKS, or an RPG. (When in doubt, go for the "Classic Look.")

    Mr. Blackwell's Endowed Chair of Guns and Fashion
    NRA Wonkette Outreach Program

  • user-of-owls

    BTW, I am still abiding by my stoic "one ad click per post view; three ad clicks per comment" rule. Are you?

    If not, you can either give me a billiony jillion p's or acknowledge that I am a better person than you.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Owls, I have given you the unitary p that the Constitution permits.

      And, as others before me have observed, acknowledging that you are a better person than I is almost certainly a tautology. So, sure.

      • user-of-owls


        "p".s. thanks for the fisty!!

  • ttommyunger

    How could anyone mention pantloads without including Jonah Goldberg, New Gingrich and John McSame?

  • Negropolis

    Now, I know Ohio, but why is every fucking person in that commercial (save the woman, maybe) visibly obese? They aren't just overweight; I'd bet you all of them are clinically obese. There are just some people that are going to be big, and I don't fault folks like that, but why is everyone obese? I'm obviously being rhetorical, but this is starting to bother me.

  • freakishlywrong

    Let's just hope than when the Muslins retaliate for all the intolerant xtian bigotry shown in that vid, they do it real 'Murica, whence all these rednecks come. They're STILL calling it a "mosk", unbelievable.

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