AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS  4:00 pm December 30, 2010

America In Crisis: 2010′s Dumbest Political Videos, Part II

by Ken Layne


Many tried to top the Epic Comedy of Christine O’Donnell’s actual political commercial about being a witch, but only one brave man could approach the occult pathos of the Delaware Masturbation Witch’s official campaign advertisements, and that was this guy. Who else made us ashamed in 2010? Oh pretty much everybody, but these six videos won the Special Olympics.


Remember when stupid old John McCain nearly bored David Patraeus to death? We remember, we remember.


Even Democrats got into the act of going psychotic on video. Here, a congressman named “Rep. Bob Etheridge (D-NC)” throttles some libertarian-teabagger children sent to drive him nutty.


And here’s some brilliant campaign commercial from Democrats in Ohio. Nothing makes people want to run to the polls like a teevee commercial full of naked fat-ass people whining about Natalie Portman or whatever.


Who can forget the proud moment when a bunch of charming rednecks went to the invisible “9/11 mosque” and verbally assaulted an actual 9/11 Ground Zero construction worker because he looked “sorta Muslim” (black)?


And finally, David Vitter’s bastard poop baby made his video debut. Giant diaperman for Senate!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 49 comments }

user-of-owls December 30, 2010 at 4:05 pm

The Ox will not be ignored!

chascates December 30, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Hopefully, the Revolution will not be televised.

OneDollarJuana December 30, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Poop poop a doop!

SheriffRoscoe December 30, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Throttling college kids on video should actually help a politician win over the O'Reilly viewership vote. How'd that guy do anyway?

DCHatesMe December 30, 2010 at 4:11 pm

I don't want to see America naked. Can we get that on a petition?

Tommmcatt December 30, 2010 at 4:20 pm

We should get that in the Constitution.

SecretMuslin December 30, 2010 at 7:11 pm

Shirt-off-my-back dude seriously needs to consider a manziere.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 30, 2010 at 4:12 pm

And finally, David Vitter’s bastard poop baby made his video debut. Giant diaperman for Senate!

Diaper Dave versus Poop Daddy: Two pantloads enter, one pantload leaves.
~

Monsieur_Grumpe December 30, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Apparently America no longer feels compelled to cover their excesses. I have feared this day would come.

OneDollarJuana December 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Just a quick observation today. There are a lot of new articles on Wonkette today, I assume because there's a lot of funny shit going on. But there are amazing numbers of comments appearing almost instantly. Is anyone actually working today? I know I'm not, even though I'm here at the office. I've solved a couple of software problems for my boss (brownie points!), installed a cute little freeware program that will help me work at home, but as for actual work? Zip. I think many of you are in the same boat, just waiting to crack open a fresh brew in a couple of hours. Or as soon as you finish this one.

user-of-owls December 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm

I'd reply to this, but it's already 4 minutes old.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 30, 2010 at 4:22 pm

I got the whole week off, so I'll only lose two weeks to the year-end reaper.

Cheers! *hic*
~

SorosBot December 30, 2010 at 4:37 pm

No one is actually working today; my office is half empty, with almost all the partners gone, the phones have hardly been ringing and everyone just seems to be waiting for 5:00.

OneDollarJuana December 30, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Why wait? Open that bottom drawer!

slappypaddy December 30, 2010 at 4:40 pm

you got it. i'm at the office but i'm fucked if i know why. i'm the only one here and nothing but wonkette and fassbinder previews are happening. oh, and earlier, there were boney m youtubes.

this is the best fucking job in the world. i'm getting paid more than minimum wage, get medical insurance, too, and all i have to do is stay till closing time and avoid burning the place down.

DashboardBuddha December 30, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Can you email me an app?

x111e7thst December 30, 2010 at 4:41 pm

I am actually working today. But strongly considering giving that up in favor of hunting y'all down and killing you.

ttommyunger December 30, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Hold on, my address follows…

SheriffRoscoe December 30, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Funny, I was just thinking of all our friends who are conspicuously absent…Extemp, Elvis, Fare la Volpe…..what, is everyone taking their 4-week vacation overseas or summ?

Fare la Volpe December 30, 2010 at 8:13 pm

I was visiting my wee bitty cousins in Virginia. And by Virginia I mean that 50% of the state only accessible by sled dog and a 5-hour hike. Honestly, these freaks live out in an area with no cell reception, let alone a decent internet connection. I celebrated the season by getting trashed on Merlot and having a Nerf gun war with the 13-year-old and his extended relations. Then the 3-year-old and the 5-year-old acted out a Jedi duel for us with the light-n-sound lightsabers they got for Christmas — if you've never seen a toddler pretend to force-choke his older brother, you are seriously missing out.

Finally, not gonna lie, I totally :3'd at being mentioned as a friend of the Wonkeratti. You're a peach, love.

NuttGobbler December 30, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Well, my father-in-law just got one of those "Now-that-you've-spent-hundreds-of-dollars-in-money-you-don't-have-to-give-your-family-a-decent-Christmas-here's-you-pink-slip" thingies, so… some of that, perchance?

I, however, just delight in spending taxpayer money commenting on non-DoD approved websites.

WriteyWriterton December 30, 2010 at 5:54 pm

My employer moved one last furlough day into this year, thus presenting me with a smaller-than-usual end-of-month check. But, BUT, I have a jerb, health-care, and a public-employee pension – at least until it evaporates in ~ 8 years, by which time the Republicans will have repealed teh Social Security on which I would have hoped to rely when said pension collapses.

Dog food/soylent green for everybody in the house. It's on me, peeplz!

Fare la Volpe December 30, 2010 at 6:17 pm

You have a job?

user-of-owls December 30, 2010 at 6:48 pm

So, contrary to the Sheriff's hypothesis <a href="http://(http://wonkette.com/433797/america-in-crisis-2010s-dumbest-political-videos-part-ii#IDComment118794228),” target=”_blank”>(http://wonkette.com/433797/america-in-crisis-2010s-dumbest-political-videos-part-ii#IDComment118794228), you are not bound to a chair and desk being abused by your boss to keep your jerb.

We can only hope, then, that your long drought has ended and you are bound to a chair and desk being abused by your boss for entertainment purposes only. Hep hep!

imissopus December 30, 2010 at 8:05 pm

If by working you mean sitting in a Starbucks trying to write because I'm unemployed and don't really have anything else to do and it's pointless to send out resumes this week with half the working world on vacation, then yes I am working.

Gunner Asch December 30, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Now that's the sad thing about being retired. I really miss those holiday days when I was on duty but nobody cared whether their commo systems worked or not so it was money for nothing (never did get my chicks for free, though).

Come here a minute December 30, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Muslim is the new black. (Same as the old black.)

OneDollarJuana December 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Texas coal plant downwinders are the new black.

horsedreamer_1 December 30, 2010 at 4:41 pm

The Five Percent Nation doesn't know whether to be offended or salute you.

BeWoot December 30, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Won't get coaled again.

weejee December 30, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Ken, your roundup of this year's videos is giving me a strange Fellini in my stomach. Urrp!

Congrats on yer compilation of La Douchie Video.

SorosBot December 30, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Aaaah! Is that fat beardy man the Ain't it Cool News douche whose name I can't remember?

PublicLuxury December 30, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Patraeus didn't barf on any Emperors or high political figures so he needs to be at the bottom!

horsedreamer_1 December 30, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Hagrid!

Redhead December 30, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Need eye acid now, thanks.

And I didn't even click play on any of the videos. The still of the lardman whose shirt was stolen was plenty, thanks.

DashboardBuddha December 30, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Oh, but you must watch the "I'm not a witch" video. It really is funny.

JustPixelz December 30, 2010 at 4:40 pm

i watched shirt ad and now am blind from clawing my own eyes out.

Pithaughn December 30, 2010 at 4:42 pm

For anyone who does not think this Tea Party movement cannot overnight shift really far to the fright as in "Tea Brown Shirts" watch the last video. I say let the slob in the blue hat take the first swing and let the chips fall where they fall.
There was a punk protesting Obama's visit to Grand Junction who put his foul tobacco tainted nose about an inch from mine, sadly, he was just brave enough to approach that threshold but not take the first swing. As a non-violent pacifist ant war hippie I cannot take the first swing, but the 2nd through 99? Fine by me. If it's violence they want, let them have it, just make sure you don't take the first swing and have some video.

GOPCrusher December 30, 2010 at 5:36 pm

But they always manage to spin it as more proof that libruls are violent beasts. The first swing is merely an expression of your First Amendment Rights.

edgydrifter December 30, 2010 at 5:58 pm

I like a little fur on the ladies, but dang… I hope Xtine got an Epilady in her stocking this year. That hedge is really getting out of hand.

Bluestatelibel December 30, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Needs moar demon sheep!!!

Fare la Volpe December 30, 2010 at 6:29 pm

MOSQUE
SUPPORTS
HUMMUS

Teabaggers are boycotting chickpeas now.

Neilist December 30, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Re the XTINE Video: Oh, I say! Bravo, Sir! BRAVO!

[Hey, I'm an ASSHOLE. But even I will acknowledge a performance that puts Larry Olivier in the shade.]

Re the Mooslim Construction Worker Video:

You know, conversations with Rednecks tend to be much more polite if one accessorizes the Mooslim headwear appropriately.

Say, with an AK-47, an SKS, or an RPG. (When in doubt, go for the "Classic Look.")

Neilist
Mr. Blackwell's Endowed Chair of Guns and Fashion
NRA Wonkette Outreach Program

user-of-owls December 30, 2010 at 7:03 pm

BTW, I am still abiding by my stoic "one ad click per post view; three ad clicks per comment" rule. Are you?

If not, you can either give me a billiony jillion p's or acknowledge that I am a better person than you.

ShaveTheWhales December 30, 2010 at 11:24 pm

Owls, I have given you the unitary p that the Constitution permits.

And, as others before me have observed, acknowledging that you are a better person than I is almost certainly a tautology. So, sure.

user-of-owls December 30, 2010 at 11:54 pm

Philologist!

"p".s. thanks for the fisty!!

ttommyunger December 30, 2010 at 10:19 pm

How could anyone mention pantloads without including Jonah Goldberg, New Gingrich and John McSame?

Negropolis December 31, 2010 at 5:39 am

Now, I know Ohio, but why is every fucking person in that commercial (save the woman, maybe) visibly obese? They aren't just overweight; I'd bet you all of them are clinically obese. There are just some people that are going to be big, and I don't fault folks like that, but why is everyone obese? I'm obviously being rhetorical, but this is starting to bother me.

freakishlywrong December 31, 2010 at 7:31 am

Let's just hope than when the Muslins retaliate for all the intolerant xtian bigotry shown in that vid, they do it real 'Murica, whence all these rednecks come. They're STILL calling it a "mosk", unbelievable.

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