All joking aside, we used to be able to understand at least one of the things Chuck Grassley was trying to say in his tweets. Now, we are pretty sure he is just some kind of robot. Is this some kind of incomprehensible spam? Is it instructions to animals or fellow machines that humans simply can’t understand? More importantly, how does this man manage to speak full sentences, in English, on the Senate floor when this is how his brain organizes information? Even the pre-est of the pre-teens do not understand what this crap is.
Remember when he put that up? There is no excuse anymore. This “Uni 13″ tweet is not incomprehensible because Grassley needed to save space. It is incomprehensible because his mind no longer can process thought into human expression. That’s your senator, Iowa! [Twitter]
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Please complain to technology, Wonket scum!bleepbloop.
That’s your senator, Iowa! Nuff said. Naled it.
His size 13 unitard gives him at most 9-14 minutes of play?
I'd put that in code, too.
Soon to be followed by:
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us.
All ur base r belong 2 us…
And "Whats the fr=NC, Knth?"
haha! If Dan Rather had teh Twitterz.
Nobody could twat like DR.
GENTLEMEN!
Grassley enjoys the biligual punk stylings of those lovely East Los Angeles muchachos Union 13.
QED
Chuckie was just sending a coded messaged to the USDA to up his farm subsidy payments.
Looks like someone's been taking grammar lessons from Palin again.
It's a living language, and like the many Palinisms twittering through our society today, it looks just like Shakespeare, to anyone who never read Shakespeare.
2B or not 2B, is ?
That's as far as I got. "Whether tis nobler in the mind" just won't twat. And don't even think about "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
Thank Our Dear Lord Twitter that "English" has advanced far enough to render such poetry untranslatable.
alas, horatio, i has a sad!
Ah, the importance of that tiny little letter "n."
Chuck is gonna refudiate that any minute now.
In his defense, I do not believe Chuck Grassley is an actual human. He's reptilian.
moSt 9 ctzns United 4 ur cmpgn have 14 min fame FEC pls invstgt.
According to the Urban Dictionary uni is "anal sex performed by someone with a dildo strapped to their head thus resembling in appearance a unicorn." So, I think he wants to do that to someone between the ages of 9-13 for 14 minutes.
I think you're too easily dismissing the possibility that he wants this act performed ON him, BY said minor.
Unfortunately, I know that Northern Iowa played Missouri State in basketball last night.
N. Iowa lost, so The Nail probably went out and got hammered afterwards.
thanks to your demonstrated code-breaking skills, there will not be a job for you in any government intelligence agency; however, you are now on their lists of avatars to keep an eye on.
Great. Now I'll be kicked outta line in the airports before I can get my free junk-handling.
No, no, cheer up. I'm sure you'll be taken away for special, extra-thorough junk-handling.
The Nail probably got uni-ed afterwards.
I'm embarrassed to admit that I too broke the code, and I didn't even know about said game.
I can honestly say I understood it was a sports thing. I just wasn't sure what sport. Since college bowl games are underway, it could have been football or basketball.
Cedar Falls: an earthly paradise to those familiar with it.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Yes, the city motto: "Looks good next to Waterloo. Also, no Tyson plant."
That is the code to the Mother Ship to begin the Chinese Moon War.
Note: this is not Twitter, but Uber Twitter!
Who won?
Who won?
Elie Wiesel.
"Uni 13" means that he thinks of his freshman period in college as the 13th grade, and the best three years of his life.
9.14 is three days after 9/11. What are you trying to say, Grassley?
No, really, what is he supposed to be trying to say?Oh, college sports. Officially don't care again. God, why did I even waste the effort it took to find that out.
University of Northern Iowa 14, Missouri State 9. I am the Rosetta Stone of regional midwestern colleges and universities.
Uni was the baby unicorn from the old Dungeons & Dragons cartoon, so I think this means Chuck is talking about playing with his old toys for 9.14 minutes.
Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah.
What does that mean again?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suafkk2vWNI
or was that a rhetorical question?
Bah weep grah nah weep nini bong.
Ni!
eki eki eki ptang!
The problem is not one of characters, but of character.
Chuck Grassley will always be held down to middle management because he hasn't talked about his fetus-in-a-jar. Anybody who's anybody has home-canned fetus.
It has always been clear that Grassley is some kind of Iowa type robot but now we know exactly what type he is: The unholy combination of a corn detasseling machine and a Porta-Milker Vacuum Pump infused with the rotting brain of a serial farmer's daughter deflowerer who caught a load of buckshot back in the day.
"Hello!!!
My name – Margarita. To me 28. I saw your structure, you liked I, And I have decided to write to you! My girlfriend Has found to itself the person in the Internet, now it is happy it. They always nearby with each other. It so is remarkable in my opinion. I believe, that I can construct relations, and I have written to you."
112cong will be cornhliest in hstry.
It's some sort of code, signalling an imminent alien invasion. Like "The violins of autumn wound my heart with monotonous languor," but without any of the poetry. Or comprehensibility.
Must drink ethanol.
Must drink ethanol.
Must drink ethanol.
Imminent alien invasion? Time to dig out the Jeff Wayne 8-Tracks!
miles 2go b4i slp!
It's a Northern Iowa Teachers College, Baptist General Conference, married Barbara Ann in '54 and they've got five kids thing. Or else he's gone mental and thinks his last name is Norris.
It's a biblical reference:
Romans 13:9-14: (including): "…whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
He's reminding himself of all the principles that he, as a Republican, must ignore.
Somehow, I always imagined this is how Skynet would become self-aware. Time to head for the bunker.
Cory Doctorow has written a couple of stories in which the first true AI's develop as spambots and anti-spam programs become increasingly complex and self-organizing, trying to outsmart each other. Needless to say, spam wins.
The two groups that are doing the most research into AI are the US military, looking to do a better job of killing brown people; and the Japanese sex industry, looking to create realistic sexbots. I think the world would be a lot better off if the Japanese make it first and the first self-aware robots are programmed for giving pleasure instead of blowing people up.
You just know that the two research tracks will merge, resulting in a hit anime series.
"We call him 'Fister Roboto'"
Ron Reagan also used to be a sportscaster. In Iowa.
After Chuck's 'good faith' health care negotiations (which included the swell "pull the plug on grandma" argument), there is no further need of evidence that he's a tweeting twat.
(Do you want a great Lauri Apple illustration with that? OK!)
Does this mean a sort of Stepford Senator self-destruct mode is imminent? I hope so.
How will we know?
GORT: KLTU BRDA NKTO, LOLOLOLOL
Makes as much sense as his perpetuation of the death panel nonsense not so long ago.
The Grassley-bot fails the Turing test.
Chuck Grassley needs to change his name to Chuck Cornley….or something like that.
It looks like high fructose corn syrup really might make one retarded judging from those attempts at communication.
You know who else used the suspiciously German sounding Uber Twitter, don't you?
That's right, time-traveling Hitler.
"That’s your senator, Iowa!"
Shut up, Jack. As if I need to be fucking reminded.
And, to be fair, "skool" is the appropriate transliteration of the Iowan patois.
Ugh. I just thinking twatting or whatever it's really called is dumb. Do we really need this from Upchuck Grass-hole (he was my Senator at one time, back in the eighties, so let's hope his old ass retires soon) but shit almost anyone sounds dumb tweeting. I refudiate that twitter is a good thing.
His next tweet after that: "Dmand nites bring us shruberry!"
Anyone that was concerned with score of the Northern Iowa/Missouri State game was not reading tweets, Chuck.
The Twitteratti shall inherit the earth. It's in the Bible; look it up.
Is it bad that I completely understood what he said? Is my mind gone because of the interwebz too?
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