AND LET'S VOTE FOR 2016 WHILE WE'RE AT IT  11:34 am December 28, 2010

States All Looking To Have First Primaries of 2012 Election, Probably Next Week

by Jack Stuef

If New Hampshire moves, that could force Iowa — which has similar rules about putting some distance before another state’s voting — into January. That would break a gentleman’s agreement between the two parties to try to keep the official start of the 2012 voting in February, where it was for decades — before that, voting didn’t begin in Iowa and New Hampshire until March.

IT’S A RACE! WHICH OF THE FIFTY STATES WILL WIN?

Quick, everyone write down the name of the first Republican that pops into your head. You got it? Okay, that person is now officially the nominee to take on Obama in 2012! Congrats, Bob Dole. [NYT]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 48 comments }

OkieDokieDog December 28, 2010 at 11:38 am

Bob is some stiff competition.

Lascauxcaveman December 28, 2010 at 12:02 pm

The first Republican I thought of was Nixon. He'd be pretty stiff competition, too.

LionelHutzEsq December 28, 2010 at 12:07 pm

See, I was thinking of Larry Craig, who stands (or, at least, sits with a wide stance) for most everything one can cherish in the modern Republican Party.

cheaphits December 28, 2010 at 12:29 pm

I got Sister Sarah, North of the Yukon Territories – if Bush is Post Modern then Palin is Post Post Modern (which actually both she and Bush probably are).

hagajim December 28, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I actually think both Bush and Palin would be post mortem – especially Palin since W. killed the damn country.

user-of-owls December 28, 2010 at 1:27 pm

I'd say Palin is more of a Dumb As A Post Modern.

mumbly_joe December 28, 2010 at 4:14 pm

I got The Revenge of Walnuts! Hengh, also.

lochnessmonster December 28, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Especially with all the viagra he waas given to do those commercials.

PublicLuxury December 28, 2010 at 3:40 pm

I started to think about Buchanan. Nothing says, "Race War," like a Nazi and a Negro going head-to-head. Whadya think? Amirite or amirite?

Jukesgrrl December 29, 2010 at 9:28 pm

I'd like to see Pat in a cage match with Newt Gingrich before I decide.

SorosBot December 28, 2010 at 11:47 am

It's important to protect the sacred principle that two tiny, nearly all-white states that don't have a single actual city between them continue to have the most important role in selecting our President.

horsedreamer_1 December 28, 2010 at 12:00 pm

But, remember, South Carolina & Nevada were thrown in as a sop to the very, very urban lamestream.

V572625694 December 28, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Clearly you've never been to Des Moines. (Wait for the picture to load — you won't be disappointed!) There are three or four multiple-story buildings there. I see no reason why a bunch of yokels shouldn't decide our national future.

To their credit, they did give us Barry…

SorosBot December 28, 2010 at 12:16 pm

From Wikipedia, it looks like they have a skyscraper! And call the "city" the "Hartford of the Midwest"! Man, that place must be really exciting.

JustPixelz December 28, 2010 at 12:23 pm

Hey! I live in the "Hartford of Connecticut", which we call the "Des Moines of the East". And talk about exciting! Joe-mentum everywhere.

Katydid December 28, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Do you live in Hartford proper, West Hartford, or East Hartford? In which case, ha ha, and how's the pizza working out for you?

What does go on in Hartford after 4:59 pm anyway?

And, I'm only kidding, except about the pizza, and Hartford after 4:59 pm. I'd do nearly anything to get back to Connecticut.

Jukesgrrl December 29, 2010 at 9:31 pm

And Iowa City calls itself "The Paris of the Midwest." Which inspired me to call my house "Versailles."

Naked_Bunny December 28, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Man, that place must be really exciting.

Nope. And that lack of anything better to do is how we stole the primaries from you easily distracted city folk. Mwahaha!

chickensmack December 28, 2010 at 12:24 pm

and they okayed a bunch of gay corn marriages!

Naked_Bunny December 28, 2010 at 2:14 pm

It's called "cornholing" for a reason.

PresBeeblebrox December 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Now, come on. Iowa lets teh gheys marry, which is more than you can say for most blue states.

Of course, the Iowa Supreme Court decision on ghey-marriage did result in the wingteabaggernuts launching a recall campaign to get EVERY SINGLE JUSTICE WHO DARED TO LEGISLATE FROM THE BENCH out of office… which is Exhibit A in why judges should not be elected.

aguacatero December 28, 2010 at 12:27 pm

And New Hampshire boasts Berlin, Dublin, Londonderry, Manchester, Hanover, Lisbon and Milan.

Naked_Bunny December 28, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Careful what you wish for. The populous, mixed-race state you end up with might be Texas.

aguacatero December 28, 2010 at 11:48 am

Excellent news for John McCain!

horsedreamer_1 December 28, 2010 at 12:01 pm

I wouldn't put running past him, but more likely he & Cindy & Meghan are going to try to play kingmaker.

horsedreamer_1 December 28, 2010 at 11:51 am

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The 2012 campaign to entice.
And she said, "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device".
And in the Priebus's chambers,
They gathered for the feast.
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the Alaskan hag-beast.

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door.
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before.
"Relax", said the Mormon,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave"!

ttommyunger December 28, 2010 at 2:12 pm

From Hotel McCainifornia?

horsedreamer_1 December 28, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Which location? There are at least seven.

LionelHutzEsq December 28, 2010 at 12:11 pm

I don't trust any of these states until they require a long form birth certificate and a full DNA test. We don't want any more Kenyan Black Urban presidents, do we?

JustPixelz December 28, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Yeah, one "birther" position is that Obama isn't natural born because his father wasn't a citizen. That's idiocy of course. But taken to it's logical conclusion, Presidential candidates would need DNA test to prove who is the biological father. Then prove that man was a citizen. Same goes for the mother.

WABishop December 28, 2010 at 1:08 pm

In fact, Ulysses S. Grant was the first president whose father was born in the USA. All the previous presidents' fathers were subject to the authority of some foreign power at birth. Undermines the whole system when you think about it.

Steverino247 December 28, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Jimmy Carter was the first President born in a hospital, so how about that, Birther Bitches?

Naked_Bunny December 28, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Given the babies she produces, I don't think we want to know the details of Sarah Palin's DNA.

jjdaddyo December 28, 2010 at 12:29 pm

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? YOU ARE MAKING WAY TOO MUCH SENSE SO YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT POLITICS.

metamarcisf December 28, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Rumor has it that Krauthammer is thinking about running. Also about walking. Also about diving. Also…stop me please.

Limeylizzie December 28, 2010 at 1:45 pm

No, I will not stop you as I was giggling insanely at your comments.

ttommyunger December 28, 2010 at 2:13 pm

me too.

PresBeeblebrox December 28, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Why not? He's a real stand-up kind of guy.

V572625694 December 28, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Ha ha, it's like you think the people in charge of this stuff have the country's best interests at heart. They'll do this right after the Senate gets rid of the filibuster and goes to proportional representation by population.

WABishop December 28, 2010 at 1:14 pm

And who wants interesting candidates? Interesting candidates shake things up. Shaking things up means unpredictability. Unpredictability is bad for business.

Luckily the system has enough checks in place to keep anything interesting from happening.

Naked_Bunny December 28, 2010 at 1:53 pm

Iowa should move its primaries to the day after the midterm election. Then we can skip this tedious "pretending to be governing rather than running for (re)election" farce.

Naked_Bunny December 28, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to[BANNED]

LionelHutzEsq December 28, 2010 at 7:26 pm

It is the funny, or at least the naked, ones that always get banned.

ttommyunger December 28, 2010 at 2:17 pm

the GOP's evil plan is to turn famous Democrat Hand-Puppet Alvin Greene into a Republican Turncoat and run him against Barry, thereby throwing Democrats nationwide into confusion. According to Haley (Boss Hogg) Barbour: "After all, they all look alike, don't they?"

Steverino247 December 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm

As long as the "Super Delegates" go away, I'm a happy camper. What a useless concept. It's right up there with "All Animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."

PublicLuxury December 28, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Bob Dole? Really? Mr. get a stiffy in a jiffy for preznit? Everybody is going to think he's happy to see them.

Negropolis December 29, 2010 at 2:14 am

My state (Michigan) jumped the gun for 2008, and look what happened to it. I nearly didn't vote for a single Democrat that year because of that debacle, and I actually blame the parties more than I do our intent to force the system to add an actual major industrialized state to the early line-up.

Limeylizzie December 28, 2010 at 1:43 pm

Oh there you are, Owls, always with the mot with the mostest.

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