TIME FOR A NEW LAMA  2:33 pm December 27, 2010

Glenn Beck Edges Out Dalai Lama In Dumb ‘Most Admired’ Poll

by Jack Stuef

Gallup apparently asks Americans which man and woman they “most admire” every year. In other words, the current president and Hillary Clinton, the most important-sounding people. But the breakdown is interesting:

Most admired man:

1. Barack Obama
2. George W. Bush
3. Bill Clinton
4. Nelson Mandela
5. Bill Gates
6. (tied) Pope Benedict XVI
6. (tied) Billy Graham
8. (tied) Jimmy Carter
8. (tied) Glenn Beck
10. The Dalai Lama

Who even knew Billy Graham is currently alive? And really, what person under the age of 30 knows who he is? Because, obviously, he is not as honorable as Glenn Beck, who once successfully landed an airplane in a river of his own tears. [USA Today]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 66 comments }

angryclownspawn December 27, 2010 at 2:43 pm

This entire list is proof positive America is less home of the brave and more home of the out of their fucking minds.

helctic December 27, 2010 at 2:47 pm

Ok, so Ratzy, Billy, Jimmy and Glenn walk into a bar at exactly the same time….

ingloriousbytch December 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I call Jimmy to tell him to meet me outside then when he's safely ensconced in my car, I chain the doors shut and burn the bar to the ground. My maniacal laughter drowning out their pitiful cries for the God in whose name they committed all manner of fuckery.

drrty_martini December 28, 2010 at 11:18 am

…The ARISTOCRATS!

nounverb911 December 27, 2010 at 2:50 pm

"6. (tied) Pope Benedict XVI"

I didn't realize that there were that many former Hitler Youth still living in Merika.

GOPCrusher December 27, 2010 at 5:43 pm

They're called the Republiklan Leadership Counc……
Oh never mind, too easy.

Negropolis December 28, 2010 at 4:11 am

Believe it or not, but Catholics still exist in America. By the millions, even. I'll take a Catholic over a Southern Baptist any old day of the week. The sad thing is that that is actually the only choice in much of America. lol

horsedreamer_1 December 28, 2010 at 8:47 am

& we're all Messican.

Kidneys4Sale December 28, 2010 at 9:16 am

ZOMGWTFBBQ!! MESSICO IS THE NU KENEDY FAMBLY!

mavenmaven December 27, 2010 at 2:52 pm

The list of women is even more retarded. The Queen of England?
Also, one has to do some math here, as apparently Republicans don't really seem to like anyone, and the percentages look very partisan- if only 11% of Repubs liked Bush, and one assumes no Dems, how does he end up in second place? :

"Obama is named by almost half of Democrats but just 6% of Republicans. Bush is the most-admired man among Republicans, cited by 11%. Hillary Clinton is cited by nearly a third of Democrats but just 5% of Republicans. Palin is the most-admired woman among Republicans, at 26%. "

SexySmurf December 27, 2010 at 3:09 pm

Aung San Suu Kyi is less admired than Palin, Oprah, Cunnilingus Rice and Angelina Jolie? I fucking quit.

HistoriCat December 28, 2010 at 11:25 pm

I'm amazed that enough Americans know who Aung San Suu Kyi is to name her to the poll and have her finish in the top 10.

transfatz December 27, 2010 at 11:45 pm

"if only 11% of Repubs liked Bush, and one assumes no Dems, how does he end up in second place?"

They probably used a Fox news pie chart.

RedneckMuslin December 28, 2010 at 6:38 am

Probably not. Then it would be 110% of Repubs liked Bush.

alaninthecastro December 27, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Is that a crosier in your hand, or are you just glad to see me?

metamarcisf December 27, 2010 at 2:53 pm

Any poll like this that doesn't include Stephanie Courtney, the lady from the progressive auto insurance commercials, isn't worth even looking at.

metamarcisf December 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Oh, and by the way, Billy Graham is a cracker.

horsedreamer_1 December 27, 2010 at 3:23 pm

So, can I borrow Michael Jordan's nickname for Jerry Krauss to apply to Franklin Graham?

Crumbs sounds really tasty.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm

OT: Michael Jordan's Hitler 'stache. What the fuck?

V572625694 December 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Both Beck and the DL believe crazy shit. But the DL also tells you to be peaceful, loving, and not kill stuff. Whereas Beck….I don't know, what does Beck think people should do?

Oh yeah: buy gold from his sponsors. That's nice too, particularly since he spends the time between commercials geting his viewers jazzed up about how the world is falling apart.

So, yeah, what's not to admire? Carter– fooey. How many Browns did he kill?

HateMachine December 27, 2010 at 3:48 pm

It's even worse than you think, about Jimmy. He actually tried to avoid the death of browns.

WarAndGee December 27, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Maybe the mainstream is lamestream?

Gratuitous World December 27, 2010 at 2:56 pm

i'm a little encouraged no member of the Jersey Shore cast is on this list. Though I believe Jimmy Carter makes an appearance during the show's upcoming season.

Jason_inthe_Peg December 27, 2010 at 2:59 pm

I'd pay money to see Snooki wrestle a guinea worm.

user-of-owls December 27, 2010 at 3:05 pm

How about a deranged, swimming rabbit?

horsedreamer_1 December 27, 2010 at 3:24 pm

That would turn Jersey Shore into Fight Club.

chickensmack December 27, 2010 at 3:12 pm

No Jon Stewart.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 27, 2010 at 3:16 pm

It looks to me like the Gallup organization not only made this poll open-ended, but let the participants decide what the poll was going to be, too, and they didn't put too much energy into their answer. Watch next week's press releases for "Americans' Favorite Color: Surprising New Results."

SayItWithWookies December 27, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Considering the number of child molesters, murderers and people who raped and killed a young girl in the 1990s who made that list, I'm now reconsidering my opinion on whether America is on the right track or not. It's either that or I throw in the towel and invest in some meat cleavers and a barbecue grill.

user-of-owls December 27, 2010 at 5:00 pm

I know! I mean, I'm not saying that Ratzinger raped a young Jimmy Carter, molested Nelson Mandela and (unconscionably did not) kill Glen Beck in the 1980s, but if he doesn't have something to hide, why won't he provide proof?

Negropolis December 28, 2010 at 4:17 am

It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

Guppy06 December 27, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Jimmy Carter is as respected as a Nazi pedophile?

EDIT: Can you figure out which one is the Nazi pedophile?

horsedreamer_1 December 27, 2010 at 3:44 pm

If I can take nothing else away from the Rachel Mc Adams rom-com Morning Glory, I can at least take away that Jimmy Carter is a sexual offender.

SorosBot December 27, 2010 at 3:43 pm

To anyone who named the douchebag shitheads the country's worst president ever, the Nazi who covers up child rape and fronts the world's most evil organization, the fake-crying demagogue, or the racist fundamentalist creepy old minister, please get the fuck out of my country and stop ruining it.

Guppy06 December 27, 2010 at 3:56 pm

As far as the child rape guy is concerned, I'm pretty sure that Catholics always have to vote for the current pope on such surveys, or else get sent to Purgatory.

LetUsBray December 27, 2010 at 3:49 pm

Should we be grateful Nelson Mandela finished ahead of Glenn Bleck?

I'm pleasantly surprised to see neither Dear Leader, Kim nor Sarah, on the list.

Oblios_Cap December 27, 2010 at 3:52 pm

I'm surprised that many landliners know who Mandela, Carter, and the Dali Lama are. Since the organizations pretty much only poll people too stupid to look at caller ID, I would have thought W., Beck, and Chney would have been the top 3.

charlesdegoal December 27, 2010 at 4:00 pm

USA Today. Today, the USA is depressing and scary.

LionelHutzEsq December 27, 2010 at 4:08 pm

So, spots 6-9 are taken up by a racist, a racist, a peanut farmer, and a racist.

Once again, Jimmy Carter is the only person who can bring some dignity to a proceeding.

WriteyWriterton December 27, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Can you imagine how uncomfortable Jimmah felt in THAT group portrait?

arihaya December 28, 2010 at 7:39 am

Jimmy Carter is the most underrated figure in history since Count Gebhard von Blucher, who saved Duke of Wellington's arse from being spanked by Napoleon in Waterloo

JustPixelz December 27, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Dubya is the second most admired by Gallup's Americans? This proves my theory that you can read My Pet Goat while the country is under attack, invade the wrong country, fuck up the economy, go to a fund raiser while people drown in New Orleans, do most of the things King George did before the Revolution (including torture) … do all those things, and still be admired.

Sparky_McGruff December 27, 2010 at 6:39 pm

You forgot W's big appeal to his supporters in this poll: he's white.

Negropolis December 28, 2010 at 4:31 am

Plus, he's a good ole (faux) Southern boy that makes them feel better about themselves and their shortcomings.

LionelHutzEsq December 27, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Would a crying, victimized Bircher be admired in Ronald Reagan's America? I think not. Just a further example of how Conservatism has fallen.

GOPCrusher December 27, 2010 at 5:45 pm

And why is Zombie Raygun not on this list?

Ancient_Hackery December 27, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Whoa folks, how could there be not just one but *two* tie votes? The odds against that are enormous, unless, USA Today asked, like, the ten people at the bus stop.

Gorillionaire December 27, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Gallup may as well have a poll by which they just call up olds and say "name somebody!" and then write down what they say.

chascates December 27, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Fuse Nos. 2 & 3 and you get George Clinton. Mo better.

horsedreamer_1 December 28, 2010 at 8:50 am

He'd trade bop-guns for hostages.

finallyhappy December 27, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I think the people who get paid to do this make the shit up and don't call anyone. In fact, I think the pollsters are some of the Wonketteers posting here.

DustBowlBlues December 27, 2010 at 9:26 pm

I prefer the term wonkeratti, as I feel it reflects the dignity due this august group of pundits.

OT: Any posts coming on the baby Democrats who are trying to turn filibusters into filibusters on Jan 3, their one chance? The Olds who run the Democratic party will stop any reform, of course, because they assume, not without justification, they will lose the senate in 2012. But while I was thinking about this on the way home from the airport (it beats yelling at Mr. DBB, who refuses to wear a hearing aid and makes communicating in a car inpossible) where we dropped off our baby to fly back to Silver Spring, I decided it would hurt the Republithugs more. Ds always do the right thing, eventually. Rs have a take-no-prisoners, scorched-earth style (the only good Liberal is a dead Liberal) of governing that doesn't let thoughts of what is good for the country ever get in the way of winning. Their death panel scare tactics: exhibit number one. Or maybe making war as good political policy. Or . . .fuck. They're total douchebags. Take away the easy filibuster. It will hurt them more.

Talk amongst yourselves or return to our regular program.

transfatz December 28, 2010 at 12:13 am

"I prefer the term wonkeratti, as I feel it reflects the dignity due this august group of pundits."

Not to mention adding a sinister, edgy feeling, quite different from Annette Funicello.

transfatz December 28, 2010 at 12:10 am

I did that many times in sociology courses. I just made up a pantheon of characters, asked them the questions, and wrote down their likely answers. It was always good for a B+.

Negropolis December 28, 2010 at 4:10 am

Isn't this basically "Whose Name Do You Recognize the Most?" I think most of the lists show just how ignorant this nation is.

I hear Sarah Palin topped the list of the most influential religious figures. The fuck?! Sarah Palin is about as saintly and pious as Anna Nichole Smith on a bender.

Too soon?

HistoriCat December 29, 2010 at 10:41 am

I can't believe you would insult the memory of Anna Nicole Smith like that. For shame.

MsQuasimodo December 28, 2010 at 7:13 am

Neanderthal-americans resent the comparison to GB!

arihaya December 28, 2010 at 7:34 am

slow news days solution for lamestream media: ask Gallup to do some dumb poolings

Redhead December 28, 2010 at 7:53 am

So I see the makers of/workers at Goldline and Visine got to vote 10 times each.

hagajim December 28, 2010 at 12:52 pm

I can't believe Mo Shep and Curly aren't on that list….because I can identify at least three stooges….fucking idiots!

ttommyunger December 28, 2010 at 1:19 pm

Dalai Lama? Are you shitting me? This just proves without a doubt we are totally fucked. I tried to listen to "The Dalai" one day and I waited through the whole fucking speech not because I was interested in what he was saying, but because I kept thinking was going to finally say something that wasn't linked to the previous hackneyed glittering generality. The "D" is all hype and frosting, no cake. It would take a total fuckwad to give any credence to anything he says. In that respect, he and Glenn are neck and neck.

user-of-owls December 28, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Up next from TT: "Why there should be no "we" in "Uighurs"!

ttommyunger December 28, 2010 at 3:32 pm

That one went over my head, but don't worry, I'm used to it… I know it is pronounced “weegers”, but still don't get the reference.

user-of-owls December 28, 2010 at 6:36 pm

a) Kos has branded TT as a Chinese government factotum for anti-Dalai bash (Alvin would think bad thoughts about you, if he thought);

b) Chinese government rejects, viciously, any attempt by non-Han minorities to organize and/or press demands which are rooted in "unrecognized" ethnicity; (i.e., ethnocultural identities, like 'Tibetan' or 'Uighur' are considered illegitimate sources of political expression;

c) Ergo propter hoc, the idea that the Uighurs could share an identity…"we"…is anathema to the PRC;

d) Ipso factotum delibro gamma pi ("Go Gam-Pi's!"), any puny joke that takes this much explanation is a confession of humor turpitude.

ttommyunger December 28, 2010 at 6:53 pm

So you don't think I'm hopelessly stupid/thick/uninformed, I am laughing hysterically at your joke now that I actually get it. HAHAHAHAHA!

XOhioan December 29, 2010 at 2:44 pm

I vote for William Lynch, who beat the shit out of the priest who raped him and his brother when they were children.

Lynch's "Fuck, Yeah!" mug shot: http://bit.ly/hnr7Xk

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