Truck Has ‘OBAMA’ Acronym; Real America Discovers Use For Palin Book

  funny pictures

This guy beds cats?Hey look, this pickup truck has figured out what the letters in “Obama” mean: “One Big Ass Mistake America.” Except it seems to be missing a comma. (Probably stoled by socialism.) What exactly is this truck saying? “One Big Ass, Mistake America”? Saucy and unpatriotic! “One Big Ass Mistake, America”? That seems more likely, but it would still need a hyphen to make sense. Does this truck mean “One Big-Ass Mistake, America”? Or “One Big Ass-Mistake, America”? If it is the latter, this truck is surely mistaken, because America has never made a mistake with its ass. This will surely remain an internal mystery, to be debated for centuries in the future by truck-hieroglyphic experts in the field of truck archaeology. Also from our funny-picture dropbox: a certified Real America use has been found for Sarah Palin’s dumb new book.

Desert-island discs.
(Click to see America-sized.)

This would seem to make sense, because why would you want to keep pages around filled with words, which can corrupt your brain with thoughts that aren’t precisely your own? (Theoretically; this is a Palin book.) You buy books for the pretty pictures. But it doesn’t make sense, because why would anyone hide their love of Nickelback and Call of Duty? Have a little white pride, sheesh. Your devotion to these things should be plastered on the back of your pickup truck, the great canvas of American art. [Truck thing thanks to Wonkette operative "Nathan S."/book thing via "Jack B."]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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92 comments

    1. MadBrahms

      I don't see America binging on wisdom or experiencing a "knowledge epidemic", though, so I'm contesting your analogy.

  1. Katydid

    Eh, with your fancy scholarships and degrees and all, you think you would have figured it out, Jack. The guy's a goddammed poet, with the spirit of e.e. commings, if you will.

    "One Big-Ass Mistake: America."

    You're welcome.

        1. V572625694

          If only [choose one]:1. I had his writing skill2. he still had the talent that created V and Gravity’s Rainbow.

  2. WarAndGee

    Which part is the mistake, Mr. Douchenoodle? The tax cuts for the the middle class? Access to health care? The skin color. No? How about the Afghanistan thing? OK I'll give you that one.

  3. Texan_Bulldog

    There's a FB group for that Obama acronym thingie. I tend to deduct about 30 IQ points if any of my 'friends' are in it. Also the personalized tag says 'Ded Cat' –WTH does that mean?

    1. OneDollarJuana

      The guy is clearly a dog-lover, cat-hater who think that cats are fun to torture and kill. It's very common, especially among mouth-breathers in big (compensating for something) trucks.

    2. Rotundo_

      He hates (and shoots, evidently) cats. I suspect because they will not unconditionally worship bags of shit like a dog will. Cats are more particular (ok, opportunistic and independent) and don't usually go back to a hand that beats them like a dog would. Since kitties show these sorts of humans (?) the ass and walk if not run away, these sorts of humans (?) take a strong dislike to them. 30 IQ point deductions for this reasoning is a little stingy, more like 50. Bubba in the truck doesn't make it to an uncomfortably cold room temperature.

      1. trampndirtdown

        I don't hate cats and I agree with you that this guy is probably a bag of shit,…. but i do think people should bell their cats. Too many eat my birds at the feeders. ;-)

        1. Rotundo_

          I prefer keeping them indoors: They are healthier, they do not kill songbirds and get into fights with other cats and other creatures, or feed the coyotes. As for dogs, I love them madly too-but they are truly unconditionally loving creatures: They are better people than people.

  4. charlesdegoal

    One Bad And Mean American would seem an improvement. Or perhaps Obese Bored Assholes: Meet Americans. I could do on.

  5. chickensmack

    And with that OBAMA bumper sticker, we need to have an Olympics-sized contest to turn our favorite conservative thinkers into acronyms.

    Bring
    All to
    Christianity
    Heed
    Michelle's
    Authority
    Now
    siNner

    sorry, it's all I have without coffee.

  6. OkieDokieDog

    I think that's really in reference to the 80 years of King George, Jr's reign – the spelling thing is just a coinky dink.

  7. mrfawkes

    The proud owner of this fine auto was borrowing from the slogan he used from his days as as the sponsor of a Texas beauty pagaent….One Big Ass–MissSteak America.

    1. PubOption

      I thought that Bradley Manning would have trouble fitting all the information he gave to Wikileaks onto one 'Lady gaga' CD. Now I know what else he used.

  8. HurricaneAli

    My eye was immediately drawn to the license plate which seems to read, "DED CAT." I can only assume this is an acronym, as well, for "Driver's Ed Detainee Canker Ass Tat." amirite?

  9. BorderJumper!

    The irony/genius behind Nickelback is that they are a Canadian band made rich and famous by Real Muricans. Suckers.

  10. ttommyunger

    Obama has been good for one segment of our Economy: the part that thinks up shit like this, fronts the money to print it up and market it; then sells it to racist pinheads like this doofus who probably couldn't wait to get his SS Disability/Retirement Check cashed so he could buy a MO and send off his $9.95 pus P&H and be the first in his trailer park to sport this literary masterpiece on his vintage shitmobile.

  11. edgydrifter

    Palin's book would be a great place to stash your meth and/or child porn. Honestly, who the hell is ever going to crack open that cover? Totally secure.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      You're on to something. A library full of conservatard lit would sort of be a "move on, nothing to see here" message to law enforcement, wouldn't it — and a secure hiding place for even a sizable stash. And since most of the appropriate books can be found on the remainders table, it wouldn't even be too big an investment.

  12. mereoblivion

    I've got a deal in the works with Fox for the next big Hallmark TV movie (do they still make those?):
    Sarah, Palin and Tall

  13. DCHatesMe

    Now is that really a Call of Duty disc, or does it contain something more nested, like a set of russian dolls, leading us deeper into the dark heart of America?

    1. SorosBot

      Considering that it's Black Ops, the one where you play a CIA agent in the 60s and part of which which takes place in Vietnam, it already is deep in the dark heart of America.

  14. i_AM_ready

    Big-ass mistakes is something that truck owner knows about. Starting when he bought a rusty old big-ass Ford truck. Any day now will be the 2nd big-ass mistake, when he takes an off-ramp a little too fast, the truck flips, and he breaks his big-ass neck.

  15. Oblios_Cap

    Is that a Utah tag with a U. Texas plate holder? Seems about right, except for the college part. This asshat is obviously homeschooled, for America.

  16. slappypaddy

    my apache friend matthew saw that sticker and said, "yep." he's an obamite, too, so i asked him to elaborate. all he would say was, "it's pure poetry, man."

  17. aguacatero

    Hoards of
    Unreconstructed
    Segregationists will
    Self-immolate when the
    Exotic
    Incumbent wins a
    New term in office.

  18. Redhead

    We passed a (1970s-era, half-rusted, running 20 under the speed limit) car with that same bumper sticker driving out of town for the holidays. My dog, who was napping in the back seat, sat up, looked out the window towards the car and stuck his tongue out, and then laid back down in the back seat and went back to sleep.

    He's pretty clever, for a dog.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Somebody said "Utah plate, with U. of Texas decal on the window", but I don't see the latter, & without enhancing cannot determine the former.

  19. Joey_Ratz

    Is the vanity plate DED CAT or BED CAT? Bed Cat makes more sense, as I'm sure the driver acts like a cat when in bed – i.e. licks himself a little before rolling over and falling asleep.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I, too, never understood "America by Heart." Even the title is written in senseless babble? I'm convinced the teatards speak to each other, not in sentences, just meaningless phrases that make them feel tingly all over.

  20. DaSandman

    Actually Mama's book was where Bristol put the condoms and then immediately forgot them when Levi and assorted others waved the man meat in her face. But she didn't forget the meth. No one in Wasilla ever forgets where the meth is.

  21. finallyhappy

    That is the t-shirt the 10 year old girl was wearing during teatardfest- when she and her fugly family came into my taxpayer supported museum to be part of a program we were holding for kids. I didn't(couldn't ) say something but I did sincerely hope she and her family left the mall area and got smacked upside thier heads- or worse.

  22. Negropolis

    My God! They've discovered the acronym. These rat-fuckers are evolving. Time to pull out those death panels and FEMA camps they are always banging on about. Hell, why not just combine the two for the sake of efficiency.

  23. Negropolis

    BTW, can anyone make out the state in which this fine gentlemen resides by looking at the license plate? I'd like to heap my knee-jerk scorn upon it, post-haste. If it's in the South, it'll be like shooting teabagers in a teapot, so I'm hoping it's some guido in Joisy, which provide a bit more of a challenge.

      1. Negropolis

        You're the Nathan S. mentioned in the posting?

        If it's in Wisconsin, I guess I'll ask what I did in the wire posting concerning Reince Priebus: Wisconsin, WTF? You used to be so cool.

      2. horsedreamer_1

        Well, then, clearly, it's a librul counterrevolutionary attempting to make the righteous Right look bad by implying at least a modicum of racism in their opposition to the "duly-elected" president.

  24. An_Outhouse

    I used to keep my dope in a hallowed out book – when I was still high school and living with my parents.

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