Hola wonkerados.

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{ 72 comments }

Buzz Feedback December 27, 2010 at 10:43 am

Is he wearing orange Crocs in the pic?

weejee December 27, 2010 at 10:44 am

WikiDickie?

Oblios_Cap December 27, 2010 at 10:50 am

It probably glows in the dark and he waves it around like a light saber!

weejee December 27, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Wuz thinking Julian might be a sorta sixty second man instead of Billy Ward and the Dominos' Sixty Minute Man.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 27, 2010 at 10:53 am

"DickieLeaks" was already claimed by John McCain.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:36 pm

But, alas, "WikiDicks" is still very much unclaimed.

charlesdegoal December 27, 2010 at 10:54 am

WeenieLeaks

OC_Surf_Serf December 27, 2010 at 11:02 am

They got pills for that now, too!!

weejee December 27, 2010 at 12:18 pm

Well that's something to clap about.

Oblios_Cap December 27, 2010 at 10:45 am

When she asked him if he was wearing anything, he had allegedly said: “I am wearing you.”

The Translucent Australian Sex Machine is nothing if not suave! I can see why his wiki leaks so much.

Crank_Tango December 27, 2010 at 11:00 am

and i bet it burns, or at the very least itches, when it leaks.

Limeylizzie December 27, 2010 at 11:47 am

Love you for "Translucent Australian Sex Machine".Brilliant.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:37 pm

I'll tell you what, that is one bad-ass line in an insanely cheesy sort of way, but the vast majority of sex talk is cheesy, so….

horsedreamer_1 December 27, 2010 at 10:49 am

If there's a POV sex-tape, it will be called Assange to Mouth.

mereoblivion December 27, 2010 at 10:50 am

Laugh all us wants us to, Wonketeers, but who among us can say "My dick got a book deal"?

SexySmurf December 27, 2010 at 11:01 am

Wilt Chamberlain?

V572625694 December 27, 2010 at 11:05 am

Bill Clinton?

nappyduggs December 27, 2010 at 11:40 am

Any of the lesser Kennedy males?

LionelHutzEsq December 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Oprah?

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:38 pm

All of you are brilliant in your own special ways. Mereoblivion set that one up well, also.

charlesdegoal December 27, 2010 at 10:52 am

Bush got seven million and didn't write a single line of his book. I'm sure Julian can find some willing volunteers to contribute their prose to the opus. JUST KEEP YER HANDS OFF OF THEM!

JustPixelz December 27, 2010 at 11:29 am

What evidence do you have that Bush didn't write that book? Oh yeah, the grammar.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:39 pm

That, and it's an actual book. The only way he'd ever write so much that the result would be a book is if it were by accident.

MildMidwesterner December 27, 2010 at 10:52 am

I have a naked picture of Assange. When it looks good, then I know that I am drunk.

Crank_Tango December 27, 2010 at 10:54 am

Today, we all have dick pics out there.

OneDollarJuana December 27, 2010 at 10:55 am

I wonder if she 'shopped the Brett Favre photo onto the Assange photo to impress her friends. Just wonderin'.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:40 pm

If what Favre has is "impressive," well…

nappyduggs December 27, 2010 at 10:57 am

Wait. I haz a confused. He supposedly violated this lady, who snapped a Polaroid party pic of him, naked, sleeping in bed next to her? Sure, sure. Well, homey may have won the "Battle of the Sexes" but my dude wouldn't stand a chance on that Law & Order: SUV reality game show.

Maman December 27, 2010 at 11:14 am

They got one of those shows in Britain now… Law & Order UK. No doubt the CPS will be looking for CCTV footage of that leak.

x111e7thst December 27, 2010 at 11:02 am

How do I go about getting a Swedish honey to take pix of my dick?

Terry December 27, 2010 at 11:12 am

I'm sure there is a webpage for that.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:41 pm

If not, there is definitely an app for that.

Rarian Rakista December 27, 2010 at 3:11 pm

200 an hour, a valid passport and a butt ton of airline miles.

Oblios_Cap December 27, 2010 at 11:02 am

But will his Opus Dingus be able to knock the Great American Novel "Decision Points" from its lofty perch as the #2 bestselling work of nonfiction on the market today?

walterhwhite December 27, 2010 at 2:42 pm

"Decision Points" is nonfiction?

Rarian Rakista December 27, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Considering it was mostly cribbed from newspapers and magazines, I suppose so.

Weenus299 December 27, 2010 at 11:03 am

"Sweden is the Saudi Arabia of feminism," he said. "I fell into a hornets' nest of revolutionary feminism."

He went down, down, down, and the hornets filed more charges.
And it burns, burns burns, the hornets' nest of revolutionary feminism,
the hornets' nest of revolutionary feminism.

Kidneys4Sale December 27, 2010 at 11:22 am

The charge…of rape is sweet.
When he wears…you on his meat.

I'm here, all weak.

Rarian Rakista December 27, 2010 at 3:14 pm

Lying about wearing a condom is considered assault in some states in the US, he is lucky he did not do that here.

SexySmurf December 27, 2010 at 11:04 am

When she asked him if he was wearing anything, he had allegedly said: “I am wearing you.”

I'm guessing Julian's book is going to just be a collection of his letters that were rejected by Penthouse Forum.

mavenmaven December 27, 2010 at 11:07 am

It will be a big seller, all he has to do is feature the Palin tweets on the cover and it will fly off the shelves.

Terry December 27, 2010 at 11:09 am

This is to all the straight men out there.

Stop taking photos of your exposed penis. The great majority of women don't want to see those photos, even when we like you. Men like nekkid pictures. Women like romance and love and emotional support. Sending a woman a photo of your junk is not romantic. It's sort of feral.

Just stop it.

natoslug December 27, 2010 at 11:18 am

I dress my junk in a tiny tuxedo and top-hat, to class things up a bit. It's still cool to include it as my business email sig, as long as it's classy and formal, right?

nappyduggs December 27, 2010 at 11:46 am

Does it have one of those curly mustaches? And a monocle? Now that's a fella I'd like to meet!

Terry December 27, 2010 at 11:59 am

It only needs the one lens, truth be told

natoslug December 27, 2010 at 2:21 pm

I go full Mr. Moneybags, which is even easier now that I'm graying.

Oblios_Cap December 27, 2010 at 11:35 am

When I sent women a photo of my erect penis it was my way of saying "you're number one". I never could afford one of those big foam fingers.

Well, I got older and got Dunlop's Disease, so thankfully that chapter of my life has ended .

imissopus December 27, 2010 at 9:49 pm

What if I put it in a box?

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:44 pm

A Dick-in-the-Box is so much classier than a Jack-in-the-Box. It shows you care.

Terry December 27, 2010 at 11:12 am

Waxed, he's completely hairless other than his head.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:41 pm

Which one?

I couldn't help myself. The spirit's willing, but the flesh is oh so weak.

elpinche December 27, 2010 at 11:12 am

He's working on getting America's approval. Everyone needs to have a sex tape or genitalia photo.

dyedwool December 27, 2010 at 11:29 am

The revolution will be televised! The classified intel will be Interneted! And the penis will be rammed down our throats via unwanted sext-messaging and WikiLeaks and whatnot!

Ugh.

I need to go lie down.

ttommyunger December 27, 2010 at 11:31 am

The joke's on her if those sheets were white: NOTHING will show up in a pix.

deanbooth December 27, 2010 at 11:35 am

Leave Julian alone! *cries*

[My doing this again proves that my tears are real.]

lochnessmonster December 27, 2010 at 11:44 am

I'm going to send a link to this page to all my friends who like dick jokes…this is right up W's ally

walterhwhite December 27, 2010 at 2:45 pm

And if it's not up W's ally, someone should shove it there.

lochnessmonster December 27, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Hahaha

Tundra Grifter December 27, 2010 at 11:56 am

I predict copies of Mr. Assange's book will promptly be pirated and bootleg editions made available on the Internets for free.

And, of course, he'll be cool with that.

zhubajie December 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm

Esp. if he gets the advance up-front.

Tundra Grifter December 27, 2010 at 6:16 pm

z:: But the Internets are all about being free – not about making money…

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:45 pm

I think he got you, man.

edgydrifter December 27, 2010 at 12:35 pm

I'll bet it looks like a cross between an icicle and a flatworm.

fuflans December 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm

oh. dear. god.

Rarian Rakista December 27, 2010 at 3:15 pm

I bet it smells and tastes like a blue Otter Pop.

Negropolis December 27, 2010 at 11:46 pm

I bet it looks like a bleached, skeletal index finger. **shudders**

LionelHutzEsq December 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm

I'm sorry, but I just don't care about this story until he hooks up with Lady Gaga or Britney Spears.

Rarian Rakista December 27, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Maybe they can work together to get gays in the military in Saudi Arabia.

PhilippePetain December 27, 2010 at 1:54 pm

This guy just keeps seeming more and more like a Kids In The Hall sketch.

Guppy06 December 27, 2010 at 3:28 pm

Do I really need to blow $30 on Amazon to hear tales of pretentious USFB?

kittylittr December 28, 2010 at 1:16 pm

Mr Assange regards himself as a victim of radicalism. "Sweden is the Saudi Arabia of feminism," he said. "I fell into a hornets' nest of revolutionary feminism."
——
Does this mean that Swedish feminists are not allowed to drive cars or go out in public without covering up?

AntonovBureau December 29, 2010 at 1:07 am

"I am wearing you" would be a great title for his book – it has meanings on so many levels

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