- Around this time last year, an HISTORIC EVENT that could “only” be described by the adorable moniker “SNOWPOCALYPSE” destroyed our nation’s capital, forever. Yesterday, a similar event occured in the Northeast, where such a thing is known as a “blizzard” or “above-average snowfall.” These northeasterners, strangely, did not immediately kill themselves so as not to face the horror of seeing a foot or two of menacing powder on the ground, and rather are working on getting it out of the way and going about their business. But that doesn’t mean D.C. shouldn’t panic anyway. The Washington Post has some helpful facts on how this has ruined Washington’s transportation networks for all of time. Hooray! [WP]
- President Obama and his family went to church Sunday at a chapel on a Hawaii Marine Corps base, a shimmering example of the great tradition of separation between church and state. Obama has not gone to church often during his presidency, because he has had a hard time finding pastors who hate white people, our nation’s most important and second-geekiest, on average, race. “The family sat in the front row along with several unnamed friends,” the pool report said, unaware of the correct English term for this particular band of atheist-Marxist church bombers. [The Hill]
- Joe Miller says he won’t stand in the way of a judge letting Lisa Murkowski taking her seat in the next Congress, as if he had such a power. But your Riley Waggaman (when he SHOWS UP TO WORK) will be able to continue to bravely chronicle this man’s sad journey, because Miller says he’s still not surrendering his grand war on mathematics. [NYT]
{ 55 comments }
Forget all that: we've got a wedding to crash.
Hugh Hefner finally got his divorce from Mrs. Hefner the Second, & has announced his engagement to Playmate of the Year 2009 Crystal Harris.
Come on Mattel, where's the Barbie Playmate Dream Wedding Set™. Comes complete with mansion, checkbook and
wrinkly sack of STDsHef.I hope he goes with a crystal motif for the wedding. Pepsi and Meth, the other great Crystals, would make a lovely theme for the union of The Old Man and the Silicone.
But, yes: imagine if Miller were a Demonrat blathering on about voting irregularity & counts. He'd be sore, & a loser, a sore losermann.
& without a direct line to AIPAC to help him recover his reputation, he'd be ruint, for all time.
Not only did you make us look at the Washington Post on a Monday morning, you also left us with the mental image of someone named Lon Anderson roasting his chestnuts on an open fire. Pretty awful thing to do to your loving readers on Naked Snow Wrestling Day, or whatever we call the day after Boxing Day.
President Obama and his family
went to churchSundayPresident Obama and his family destroyed Christianity and worshiped a urine- drenched crucifix Sunday
Stay tuned for updates every five minutes from Fox News.
That wasn't Piss Christ. Obama just dropped a crucifix in a mug of Old Style.
He's been so gun-shy about the pass since that split lip.
Isn't Old Style and piss really the same thing?
Not in Chicago, it's not.
You can put the President shaking hands with Jesus and there will be people saying that it was a photoshop conspiracy. We have a half breed muslim in office. I just read somewhere in the LA Times comments section where the newest conspiracy is that President Obama's father is Malcolm X. To which I say O rly?
Mr. President enjoy your vacay and the sunshine so you can give a kick ass state of the union and rub it in Republican faces that despite their obstruction a shitload of legislation passed. I suggest you walk down to the former Speaker Pelosi and give her a big wet tongue kiss on camera in gratitude.
The Malcolm X as Barry's father story has been out there for awhile.
'Cause, you know, the Pres's mom went black… & after that, one never goes back.
Kind of defeats the whole Birther Conspiracy, since Malcolm X was an American citizen, if I remember correctly.
Cool, now Joe can return to, let's see, he's burned all the bridges behind him, so it looks like he will be either a newly minted fast food swing manager or a Fox News correspondent. Either one requires about the same journalistic training. I look for french fried potaters and corn-sweetened beverages to be a big part of his new career, whichever direction it may take!
I'm sure there's room for him in Maricopa.
I'm looking forward to Joe Miller moving to Massachusetts and running against Scott Brown as the "real Conservative" in the election. And then they will have a strip off to decide who will win. This is how Ted Kennedy first got that seat.
Obama's church appearances as president in Washington have been rare.
Fortunately there haven't been many weedings or funerals for me to attend in the last year, so he's got me beat.
Amen to that.
When there's a lot of white powder heading in your direction, the proper response is to inhale through the nose. A rolled up hundred dollar bill is unecessary.
Evil White Substance Invades East Coast
Old news.
+25 beads to the Manhattan tribe
Math facts are just a suggestion.
Numbers have a liberal bias.
There's nothing in the bible or constitution that says 2+2=4.
And if the Party says that 2+2=5, then it does. Hockeymom to Room 101.
Who knew Thom Yorke was a Conservative.
Then again, he's rich.
The Constitution does mention that 3/5s of a slave = 1 citizen*. Today Repubicans use that ratio against Demoncrats in elections; as 59 (3/5s) Senate seats is a minority; 55% job approval for Obama is abject failure; 255 Ds vs 179 Rs in House is "jamming things down our throats", where as 239 Rs is "the people have spoken".
_______________________
* For legislative apprortionment, Southern states wanted 1 slave = 1 citizen; Northern states wanted 1 slave = 0 citizens. 3/5s was compromise.
The bible does give the value of pi as 3 though. So you all using something more than that have been using an improper, devils number.
2Chr.4
[2] Also he made a molten sea of ten cubits from brim to brim, round in compass, and five cubits the height thereof; and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about.
A man after my own heart. I couldn't remember the exact verse, I just remember Issac Asimov quoting this as sign that the ancient Jews weren't particularly good with math (not knowing that if you gave the diameter, you have given the circumference, and that given their measurements, pi = 3). It is based upon this verse I refuse to ride a bicycle until someone gives me the correct tires done with a circumference in ratio to the diameter of 3, as God intended.
Whatever the ancient Hebrews lacked in the math department, their Jewish ancestors have more than made up for today.
Don't worry, Riley's just out shoveling snow–pays better than blogging.
Riley can't make it to work, is Brietbart's place snowed in?
In more ways than one. Drudge brought his traveling party over for Christmas.
The weather is just a distraction to get our minds off more important things, like the fact that we're all fucked. Happened here too over the past week or so. Not being able to fly or drive seems suddenly more important than no being able to get a decent education, healthcare or even food in the near future.
Yeah and it makes Inhoffe happy, he can deny climate change some more.
Clapton, & all the nation's strippers since, like that graphic.
If I assumed that global warming has to do with how much snow falls and not the composite measurement of the over all increase in the entire earth's surface temperature over a given period of time resulting in CLIMATE CHANGE, I'd point to all this white shit too and say, "See Al Gore is a stupid Stalinist liar."
Snow in backyard=socialist lie proven. Melting polar ice caps far away=nothing.
Yes, the whole "global warming" is an aspect of "climate change" seems to be lost on the mouth breathers. And nuances such as "extremes will get more extreme" is just too much of a mental challenge.
So all of the babies that will be born 9 months after this blizzard will be referred to as Snowflake Babies, right?
Sorry Obamas, nice try, but it doesn't count. Hawaiian church isn't like real church–too brown and too happy.
Captain, this was Marine Corps church, thank you very much. It comes in three varieties: Catholic, Protestant, and Miscellaneous. Protestant chapel services are a standardized amalgamation of current American traditions, which averages out to Southern Baptist.
(Methodist plus Lutheran plus Episcopalian plus Baptist plus Presbyterian plus Pentecostal plus Unitarian plus Congregational plus Adventist) divided by 9
As long as he wore his codpiece, I'm sure the active duty Marines were glad to see him.
Yeah, but now that the Marines have the Gheyz, I'm sure all their services are like Rev. Wright the night after attending a Spike Lee marathon. Except with a whole lot more bare chests in the pews.
which averages out to Southern Baptist
This makes me sad, and also is the reason I stopped calling myself a Christian. Seriously, Southern Baptist manages to be the most overtly dickbaggish of Protestant denominations, and yet, nowadays, their perspective has largely defined American Christianity, particularly "Conservative Christianity".
Seriously, yo. They split off from Baptist because Baptists (like most antibellum evangelicals) considered slavery irreconcilable with Christianity, and this made the slaveholding Baptists angry, so they formed a new denomination that was totally cool with slavery. It's the only sect of Christianity that eschews social justice from its articles of faith. Come on, why are these guys defining "Christian values" to everyone else here?
I keep waiting for them to circumcize their hearts. Amateur heart surgery will send many on to another world….
Was Riley unable to get to his parents' basement ("work") because it had been blocked off by stockpiles of milk and bread?
Here in NC we add eggs to the buying frenzy. Our obsession with making French Toast when it snows continues unabated.
Brokaw could call that the Fleishing of America.
OT: Those for-profit college ads are FREAKING ME OUT.
There was a lot of snow in New York City during the first weekend of the winter, causing flight delays at all three airports. This totally cancels out the following: highest ocean temperature ever in the southern hemisphere; permanent melting of the North polar ice cap; destruction of millions of acres of forests and wetlands plus anything else relating to climate change.
Mathematics is for dirty libruls and witches, none of which have any place in Amurika.
Actual event: Obama attends church.
News Story: Obama doesn't attend church.
1. Michelle farts loudly during sermon.
2. Barry and girls giggle uncontrollably.
3. The whole incident is captured on video and broadcast ad nauseum.
4. Every Rightard in America dies of ecstasy-induced coronary thrombosis.
I love a happy ending.
It IS a sweeeet thought.
Yo, my east coast peeps. That white stuff? You know why it falls to the ground? Not to kill you, my sweet self-obsessed brethren. It falls to the ground because it is WINTER. That is the season between Shopping and Cruise-wear seasons. Enjoy!
I'm pretty sure that this "Marine Chapel" was really just another clever scam by James O'Keefe, and that the edited video of Obama peeing in the holy water with his uncircumcised penis will be up on Big Government in the next day or two.
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