And Now You Can Visit the Virgin Mary In Wisconsin
Merry Christmas Eve, unless you're a non-believer, in which case "may Satan have mercy on your tortured soul." Let's pray that this year Joseph finds a nice Howard Johnson or something so that he doesn't have to spend another Christmas trapped in a manure stable with his manipulative teenage bride who cheated on him with God. But if you're "into" that kind of stuff (cheating virgins giving birth in animal poop sheds), you should definitely visit "a little chapel among the dairy farms" in Wisconsin, one of the few places on Earth where "apparitions of the Virgin Mary have been officially validated by the Roman Catholic Church." So basically the Virgin Mary is haunting some poor chapel in Real America, according to the Pope. "Catholic leaders described the decree in Wisconsin as a bolt of joy at a trying time for the Catholic church, which is troubled by revelations of sex abuse." Ha ha, "bolt of joy." Is that what they're calling boners now? [ NYT ]
The Navy is secretly plotting to nuke all of the gay whales. [ McClatchy ]
"Rent is Too Damn High" guy Jimmy McMillan wants to
primary-challenge Barack Obamafinger-bang Mitt Romney in New Hampshire. [ Political Wire ]Merry X-Mas!
I dunno, if teenage girls are anything like I remember teenage boys in the sack, I'd give it a pass until they're at least 25. It's the difference between someone making their first piece of (burnt) toast and a nice loaf of ciabatta.
Truly, blessed are the cheesemakers.
(I do not refer to all those engaged in the manufacture of dairy products in Wisconsin, but rather all those involved in propagating cheesy displays of mind-numbing sentimentality.)