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A package bomb exploded at the Chilean embassy and at the Swiss embassy in Rome today, injuring the one person (intern? professional Santa?) who opened them at each location, but not killing him(s) or her(s). On its surface, this is one of the most confusing bombings in recent history, because aren’t there, well, better things to bomb? Let’s do a review of this terrorist attack.

We are not advocating terrorism by any means, and we’re grateful nobody died or whatever, but c’mon, bombers.

1. Location
Really? Rome? What is this, a Fellini film? Get with the modern world.

2. Choice of embassies
What is Switzerland’s response to this supposed to be other than, “Why the fuck would somebody bomb us?” What are you trying to do, make them more neutral on global intervention and entanglements? Impossible. They’re not trying to take over your homeland/religious homeland! Don’t worry!

And Chile? You feel threatened by a country the width of a Toyota Corolla? Are you upset by the celebrity of those cheerful trapped-miner guys?


“It’s a wave of terrorism against embassies, something much more worrisome than a single attack,” Mayor Gianni Alemanno told reporters.

Yes, much more worrisome when they pick actual countries with actual weapons and actual things to be angered about.

3. Choice of day
Oh! Christmas Eve Eve, the day when the Virgin Mary had a craving for orange sherbet and tamales and spent the day watching a season of Lost DVDs. Our most holy of days.

4. Carnage level
Why did you even bother?

Terrorism review: 1.2
Don’t even bother renting this one. [NYT]

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