Some guy was showing off his muscle car to his friends in George W. Bush’s neighborhood last night and lost control of the car, ending up crashed on the former president’s lawn. Sounds like Georgie’s got the gang back together.
The man told investigators he ran onto the Bushes’ yard when his gas pedal became stuck. [...]
Bush spokesman David Sherzer said the Bushes were home at the time of the incident but were never in danger.
In fact, Bush came outside, high-fived the man, and invited him in for a beer, probably. Or this was all just a historic re-enactment of things Bush used to do as viral marketing for his new presidential library. [NBC DFW]
{ 184 comments }
Did they check the trunk for pretzels?
They were scattered on the front floor boards, with some empties.
When did Toyota start making Cougars?
It wasn't me, this time.
Well, crap. I was hoping that we finally had a commentator suited to the situation.
I'm in NYC with the flu. My avatar, too.
Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro
I ran over my neighbor
Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro
Donuts on your lawn
Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro
Tony Orlando and Dawn
Laura, is that you?
We'd have to look under the car for any old boyfriends.
Laura wouldn't be caught dead in a Mercury Cougar. A K-Car is much more her style.
A K-Car that smells of Virginia Slims.
Bush family get-together = get the hell away from all roads.
And DO NOT sit next to Grampa!
But if Grandma Bar offers you some pickled fetus relish… try some. It is actually quite tasty.
Goes great with the "wild game" Uncle Cheney brings round aswell!
I figured it was Chuck Norris, but he mixed up his bat-signal with his microwave popcorn being done.
An obvious mistake. He was looking for Dick Cheney's lawn.
Dick Cheney does not have a lawn, just lava.
I thought Mr. Freeze live surrounded by ice (not that there can't be lava in a cold climate!).
where the hell is Gramps McInsane when ya need him…"you kids get offa my LAWN!"
Mr Bush was reported to be outraged, quoted as semi-coherently yelling:
"What kind of hillbilly dingbat drives around drunk out of their mind in the middle of the night?!?"
Women drivers, no survivors.
p-loss begins now.
Karma's a bitch.
If this were karma, the guy would have rammed their house in a cement truck filled with syphilis.
…and then she runs over you
I didn't know the Bushes were friends with Billy Joel.
Maybe Kelsey Grammer was dropping by to do a few lines.
He is a Republican, so that would make some sense.
No wonder he likes 'em young (even if the young in question are female).
So Lindsay Lohan missed curfew again?
Careful, buddy. White Oprah gonna sue you for slander!
Who is the white Oprah? I didn't know that Ms. Whinfrey had any kind of a/an (human) equivalent.
Lindsay Lohan's mother – famous for being Lindsay Lohan's mother and, well, batshit crazy – said that she wanted to host her own talk show because all of her daughters' friends come to her for advice. She said she'd be like Oprah, but white. (I believe it was dlisted.com that coined the sobriquet "White Oprah.")
I'm sorry that is not bitchin'. Cougars are not bitchin'.
Only Camaros can be properly described as bitchin'
Well, Trans Ams too, but they are essentially the same car anyway.
I ran over my neighbors! Now it's in all the papers!
Extra p-points for the "Trout Mask Replica" avatar.
"What this world needs is a good two-dollar broom and a good two-dollar broom.'
I don't want unleaded!!!
Cougars, however, can be bitches.
Too bad it wasn't that car with the "deport meksikuns" spraypainted all over it.
I wonder what was written on the whiteboard attached to the trunk (Liar).
My first thought was that it was just Jenna coming by for a visit.
I would have a lot of respect of Jenna is she was driving around in an early-70s Cougar. I'm pretty sure she is the new BMW type.
I will admit, a car of that quality getting wrecked makes this a sad story.
Cougar of Lawn Destruction–who do we invade this time?
Thus begins the CoLD war anew.
Whoever AIPAC tells us to invade,
Who're they mad at this week? We let 'em keep colonizing the West Bank.
Obviously we begin with opening up a new cougar front. The MILFs are next.
Finally, G-Dub has an excuse to get with Condoleezza.
Detroit
The incident probably reminded George of his lost hellion teenage years – as opposed to his lost hellion presidential years. I'm sure it brought a sentimental tear to his eye, followed by a night of binge drinking.
His lost teenage, twenties, thirties and early forties; but it was just "youthful" indiscretion.
I think he's trying to recapture his childhood years. Have you heard his latest interviews? Sounds pretty slurry to me.
If I had done what Bush has done, being drunk all the time would be the only way I could live with myself; but the man himself does not appear capable of shame or remorse. But maybe he's still upset over that rapper accurately calling him a racist.
He's no racist! He didn't care about those people because they were poor – not because they were black.
I didn't realize that the Mercury Cougar was in the "muscle car" category. It seems way too elitist. I thought it was made for people who were "young at heart" and thought they weren't old enough yet, or too cool for a Lincoln Continental Town Coupe.
Anyhoo – yahoo! I bet ol' Georgie heehawed and probably felt so giddy by all the excitement that he gave Laura the best 2 minutes of her life with some lovin'.
Trouble is, he had to wake her.
Not if he used the Julian Assange technique
Mercury. The classy Ford.
Or less classy Lincoln.
I'll preface this by saying I don't know anything about cars. In the '90s my grandma drove a Mercury Cougar, and I never for one second thought it was cool. Now, all I can picture is her driving slowly up onto George's lawn and parking the thing.
From its introduction to 1973, the Cougar was a clone of the Mustang, and the XR-7 package had at least some appropriate muscle cred; in the mid-70's the Cougar became a clone of the boring boring Thunderbird, and was horrid. They even had a wagon version, for gods sake.
Is that how long the battery lasts on the rechargable dildo.
This is a cover up! It smells really bad. It is obviously Laura regretting her vows and trying to take out her husband instead of boyfriend.
There is actually real money on the line. And with the increase in tobacco taxes she needs all the cash she can get to keep up her cigs.
Car's registered to Cindy Sheehan Driving School, Crawford, TX
Dude, so sorry, I went for the thumbs up, but my wonky mouse clicked on down. Did not mean it, thought your post was funny and appropriate.
I have referred your explanation to our voter intent division. Joe Miller will be in touch shortly.
Hopefully, the neighborhood kids will play mailbox baseball next, or TP his house. But trenching his yard is pretty cool and certainly gives me a visceral thrill.
Bitchin Camaro, bitchin Camaro
Tony Orlando and Dawn!
Bitchin Camaro, bitchin Camaro
Donuts on W's lawn!
Much respect for the Dead Milkmen reference.
You really are a fan.
They should investigate the mayor's son.
Lol, the original article mis-identified the car as a Barracuda, a seriously badass car. That piece of mess in the photo is an early 70s Cougar, a seriously fugly car suitable only for secretaries and hairdressers.
[/car guy]
Plus, seriously not a muscle car. Not like, say, a '66 Pontiac GTO.
It must be said, though, that at least Mercury didn't offer a lame-ass six-cylinder as an option on the ugly early 70s Cougar, but you could buy a 'Cuda with a slant-6. Boo!
[/another car guy]
I don't know anyone who did. I think your average 'cuda buyer, by 1970, knew what he was shopping for. Not a hairdresser, that one.
I was in the market for one of them back in the 80s, a number of those I looked at had the 6 or the 318. I wanted 340 or 383 or 440 (426 was out of my price range). Kowalski!! (yeah, I know, Challenger, but close enough).
The 6s and the 318s were the only ones to survive. The balance of 60s muscle car power to muscle car handling & braking was not amenable to long lives for these cars while in the hands of testosteronal teenagers.
Let's not forget, though, that before they moved it to the T-Bird platform, the Cougar was one hell of a muscle car. Shame that Ford couldn't leave good enough alone.
The '69 Eliminator with 429 Cobra Jet was pretty cool.
Yeah, the cougars were pretty hawt in the first generation. But those early seventies ones – ugh.
Landau roofs and opera windows. I hear ya'.
I dunno, Cougars didn't start getting really bulbous and overstuffed until the '74 model, when they switched from the Mustang platform to the Torino/Montego clone. Of course, by 1973, there were no more muscle cars anyway, because of those damn liberals and their emissions controls and Safety-Nazi 5-mph bumpers.
Why, yes, I got my 73 Impala back from the mechanic last Saturday. I guess I'll keep the damned thing, though I get nervous looking out over that expanse of hood–I keep worrying that John McCain might try to land an A-4 on it.
Yeah, but that cougar in the commercials was pretty cool!
But then, so was that cute little Bobcat. Rawr!
And all these hours later, Tweety still did. Dufus that he is…
President Barry had such a good week he decided to cap it off by staging a reenactment of the metaphorical Republicans-driving-a-car-into-a-ditch, right in front of the former president.
I don't think that's what they meant when providing tax cuts for R&D.
John McCain taught the driver.
Laura and the driver exchanged drunk driving stories.
The president awoke, only to find the axel of evil was right there on his front lawn.
I thought cougars were looking for younger guys.
I just assumed this was a pro-Hillary protest.
It looks like a Puma to me.
But they do like to get fucked up.
Dubya was voted "Ex-President Most Likely To Have A Car Crash Into His Front Yard" by his daddy, Clinton and Carter. Oh and look!
If only they had done a little more R&D.//running the joke into the ground.
Had my money
I tell you what I'd do
Go downtown and buy a Mercury or two
Cause I'm crazy 'bout a Mercury
And I'll cruise up and down this lawn
Up and down this lawn
Was the driver aiming for Bush's lawn Obama?
Oh snap
He was jockeying for position…..kkhhhwwwaawwhh (cougar sound).
Actually, it was a Teabagger, lashing out at Bush for not being a real Conservative.
was a golf club involved?
Please, like they would allow a black/asian person into Bush's neighborhood.
That one dude did time for throwing a shoe at Dubya. I assume this driver will be sent to Gitmo to be anally raped forever.
Death Panel Race 2010
Axles of Evil.
Thank heaven it wasn't one of those Camaro IROC's.
Nicely done
Busted brushing Bush's bushes…
(…and I just started drinking)
Relatives enroute?
I love the holidays.
are you sure that the gatecrashing car wasn't a DeLorean ?
Bush's buddy was unpatriotic, driving a Mercury Cougar instead of a good old fashioned Earth Cougar.
God how I hated that double-tracking shit. Thank God my dad brought me a Pioneer Supertuner cassette deck back from Japan in '75. Of course, pre-recorded cassettes weren't very widely available until the Walkman came out, so I had to record my own off my albums on my all-in-one Lloyds stereo.
Party at the Moon Tower.
Does this mean the terrorist have won?
The Department of Homemade Insecurity announced that it will institute a ban on all Mercury Cougars.
8-Tracks. You couldn't fast forward or rewind. And there was always at least one song that got chopped up between two of the tracks. But they were a lot easier than cassettes to dig out of the center console compartment.
Or they'd shuffle the order of the songs from the album! Or there would be one song that was shortened. Or even sometimes one song would be on there twice!
Now they call that shit "remix"
I had a Muntz 4-track in my old 64 1/2 Mustang. Now I drive an '08 Mustang with an iPod jack, so progress!
Todd Rundgren still doesn't sound right without that track changing sound in the middle of the tracks. These are some nasty memories you have awakened. I had "the wiz" on 8-track as well. The Wiz!
Ouch!
Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War of the Worlds.
My life will be forever Autumn…'cause you're not here…cause you're not here…(ad infinitum)
Thank you very much.
Thanks to you and Dr. Zoom I will spending all of Christmas pulling those pencils out of my ears.
Come on, Thunder Child!
My partner has an autographed copy of The Carpenters "Singles." Suck it, all of you.
Here. [Hands Kevin a copy of Morrisson Hotel] Take this, it's an 8-track tape. It's one of the last in existence. I want you to steal a car…
Kevin: I have a car…
Bruce: Steal a car!
Kevin: Steal a car!!
Bruce: I want you to get in it and drive West. Play the tape full blast. When the tape ends, get out and get into a fight, then get back into the car, come to town and meet me at the Bush's house…
Bush spokesman David Sherzer said the Bushes were home at the time of the incident but were never in danger.
George Bush doesn't care about black cars.
I say it's that shoe-throwing guy on a temporary visa, looking to generate material for the second book.
Either that or a 17-year-old whose dad must now agree, Seniors Rule. So there.
"…Fun, fun, fun 'til the Secret Service shot his kneecaps out."
The Cougar sprang across the curb onto the lawn as if trying to escape.
The driver hit the wrong
bushhedge.You know damn well W asked if he at least brought a six pack.
I cannot understand a single word in this conversation.
Get off our lawns damnit!
Just do what our kids have learned to do: say "Whatever," and walk off.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our drunkards driving?
David Sherzer's job must be an intellectual feast. Also.
Me and four guys in my boy Bill's red 67 Impala stationwagon, drunk as fuck, doing donuts on the lawn at Jehovah's Witnesses, mailbox baseball, and Journey on 8-Track.
On those fricking white label 8-Tracks you'd get from (drum roll) The Columbia Record And Tape Club! Remember, CHOOSE ANY TEN ALBUMS FOR ONLY A PENNY.
Good fucking times
And then you came over to my house and snuck in the window!
Good fucking times indeed
Lisa???
Alert Secret Service Agents promptly wrestled the vehicle to the ground. (Yes, we're still paying for Secret Service protection for Drunky McW and his deeply dysfunctional family).
I wonder if that would be good duty or crap duty.
Armed to the teeth gophers.
Scoring weed and blow for Jenna and Babs II. A mixed bag.
Plus running to Walgreens for Dubya's Metamucil.
Chevy Chase on Weekend Update after that Buick hit Jerry Ford's presidential limousine in Hartford. Classic.
Another old-timer with a good memory. Huzzah!
Now that I think back, the driver of the LeSabre simply drove into an unblocked intersection and was smacked by the Lincoln. My memory isn't what it once was…
Join the…the….oh fuck it.
To all you old people who replied to Monsieur_Grumpe:
Jesus Retiring Christ, how fucking old are all you people?! I'm 41 and don't remember ANY of that shit.
Those that refuse to learn from the olds are doomed to repeat history, or some such shit.
The Olds, the Plymouth, the Pontiac, the Mercury–learned from them all.
People?
What planet is this?
I'm 57 and I remember it. But I hated cars. Still do.
Oh fuck there are youngsters in here. Isn't this site linked from Boom?
I'm the same age as George Clooney.
You're the same age as Beau Biden.
47 and from Houston. The Linklater film "Dazed and Confused" was my life.
'72 Plymouth Duster, 8-track player standard. But I had heterodox tastes: "This Year's Model", "Best of Sam & Dave" (cause it was in the Blues Brothers movie!, but every song on it will melt your heart) on 8-track. "Who's Next" closest thing I had to the prevailing consensus.
Apparenly, Donald Rumsfeld was driving the car, and the passengers were Cheney, Gonzalez, Miers, Card, Fleisher, and Parino. Apparently they had stopped by The Pink Melon to pick up Parino after her late shift, gotten a few six-packs of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and were out "cruising" the neighborhood, drinking, making out with Parino and Miers, and, according to officials, smoking salvia. No one was arrested, and Parino was given a promotion at The Pink Melon.
Tiger Woods is fucking Laura now?
Total Biden
http://www.theonion.com/articles/shirtless-biden-…
Biden would have been doing doughnuts in the front lawn.
Biden may yet be planning to do exactly that.
How many of Bush's plastic lawn jockeys were run over?
Git off mah lawn. Heh heh heh.
Maybe the driver was a gynecologist who tried to practice some love on a patient while they were out Christmas shopping.
Oh what a night. A bunch of Texas assholes crash their assholemobile on the lawn of the idiot son of an asshole. I wonder if "Freebird" or "Stairway to Heaven" was playing on the AM radio?
I don't think that actually qualifies as a "Muscle Car". This is a grandpa car. This car probably had a fairly straight 351 Windsor engine with a narrowly-jetted 4 barrel carb. The insurance industry had been very successful at shutting down the more exotic products by the time this car was designed.
It's fat and sloppy with leather seats and power accessories and a undertuned automatic transmission. The 73 Cougar had more in common with your mom's Gran Torino station wagon than with the tasty types of Cougars produced from 67 through 70.
Well of course, you're assuming it was stock. Any asshole with enough money to live in (or visit assholes who live in) Dubya's neighborhood probably modified the car to Make It Badass, although obviously they didn't know how to drive it in any case.
Dallas Texas, a President, a grassy area, a car, shots,….
no need to call Oliver Stone
Just some Texan with 8 shots in him lost on some idiots lawn.
Alerted by the Secret Service to the situation on his front lawn, and after three attempts to finally engage the correct button on the remote to pause the horror movie he was watching, Bush swaggered outside, looked around, smirked, and did one of the two official duties he was assigned by the vice president (the other–tossing out the first pitch at baseball games) and he gave the errant Cougar driver a nickname….Lawn Cheney.
Did they have the Democrats push it out while drinking a Slurpee?
It looks like they tore up some bush…and Laura was last heard saying, "Where is that marvelous cougar?"
When I first read the headline I wondered if someone had sent GWB a car-bomb!
'73, wasn't that the year of the first oil embargo? Is that why there's no more muscle cars?
You mean TRY to land one on it.
I know this may be hard for some of you young'uns to believe, but back in those days the US Fed'ral Gummint actually mandated emissions controls and safety regulations in an attempt to make cars less dirty and deadly. Detroit's fumbling attempts to comply led to lower-powered engines and massive, heavy bumpers (first mandated in 1973). Muscle cars were already dying out when the oil embargo hit, and that pretty much killed 'em off.
dang, you DO know yer cars!
[/former Barracuda, GTO owner]
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