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Disaffected Pickup Truck Can’t Spell, Hates ‘Politian + CEO’S’

And yet we still pay full price for Truck Nutz.
According to some guy on Tumblr: “How long was I in Virginia before spotting a handwritten, misspelled Tea Party message on a dry-erase board duct-taped to the back of a truck? Literally ten minutes.”

If you can’t read this (elitists need a special pair of populist 3-D glasses), here is what it says:

Politian + CEO’S
S0LD our Jobs
USA (No FuturE)

Let this be a lesson to all you protectionist pickup trucks out there: Important rear-end messages such as this are best made by something more permanent than a whiteboard. Obviously some librul activists INFILDTRAYTED this marker board and changed the letters so it just looks like this is the work of an idiot who can’t spell. [Tyler Coates via Wonkette operative “Juli Weiner”]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef
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  1. noodlesalad

    The white board makes it easier to switch up the message at red lights when the talk radio informs him about his new enemies.

    1. Pithaughn

      Using advanced white board message recovery software I was able to see that just recently this whiteboard was messageing "911 gRownd Zeo Mosk = $laveriry"

    2. Ducksworthy

      Ahem. Talk radio has not never said the phrase "greedy CEO". CEO's are the heros of our age, the job creators, the captains of industry. Even if they're all Chinese now.

    1. jim89048

      It's like what they say about someone who commits suicide has killed the wrong person. These fools have plenty to be pissed about, they are just pissed at the wrong people.

    2. noodlesalad

      It's like a tea party eclipse – every so often everything lines up and they realize that rich white men have sold their cracker asses up the river. Then Glenn Beck starts talking about African Nazis and Sarah Palin messes with their hormones and the moment is lost.

    3. charlesdegoal

      Let me go Godwin here to point out that pissed-off Germans voted massively for the Fuehrer, who got them out of their misery, albeit not in exactly the right way.

      1. bumfug

        I just spoke with Roger Ebert and he said it was OK to give you two thumbs up but Intense Debate won't let me.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Is that like one of those Greek breads, pita or something? 'Cause everyone knows Jesus loved that.

    1. Negropolis

      I don't disagree with him an iota, until I think beyond the initial sign and realize that it's very likely this guy votes Republican, and is thus voting for the pawns of CEOs.

      Even the devil quotes scripture, and even a broken clock is right twice a day, as they say.

      1. StillGoinGreen

        My unemployed Mexi-American brother-in-law voted for Rick fucking Perry – "cause he will keep America from taxing us to death!". I gave up at that point and started my "Leaving Las Vegas" exit strategy.

  2. Come here a minute

    You gotta respect someone who ends their sign with the original title of their favorite Sex Pistols track. That is one grate Amerian (Pretty Vacant).

    1. Negropolis

      China. They have a long-term lease agreement on us with an option to buy at the end. The Saudis are also minority owners.

      1. DustBowlBlues

        I hate people who remind me that I can never find the fancy combos on my mac and make cool punctuation and foreign looking numbers.

        I am such an old, limping failure. Except I make phenomenal fudge, so there. (And not that marshmallow cream shit).

    1. ingloriousbytch

      It's the O from Obama's campaign posters. All whiteboard manifestos must contain at least one dig toward Obama. It's the law.

  3. LionelHutzEsq

    It is nice to see that the coming of the teabaggers and the Conservative uprising has lifted the political conversation to such erudite levels. William F. Buckley must be resting peacefully tonight.

        1. weejee

          Sweet of you to notice, but with ticks I'd prefer you use a glowing cigarette or a joint, whatever, to make them let go before you gets with the picking. It makes for smaller holes in the skin & all.

        2. Radiotherapy

          Before you get all engorged, keep your head, and
          ♪♫ Put the Lyme in the TruckieNutz, and drink it all up. ♪♫

  4. GuanoFaucet

    Well, at least this nonsense is easier to understand than the usual cryptic word salad that Palin posts on twitter.

  5. ttommyunger

    Being Virginia, what the author failed to mention was that it is a State-Owned Maintenance Vehicle.

    1. DustBowlBlues

      And he hates the guvenment, no doubt. Idiocy. As I've said, it isn't accidental that Repubithugs have opposed funding for public education for the last several decades.

  6. KathrynSane

    Despite my protests, my parents moved to Virginia after I went to college. The first time I visited them, what was the first thing I saw when I got off the plane? A massive mural of Pat Robertson and the CBN.

    Fuck Virginia.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        I still want to attend a dog-fight. With or without Mike Vick.

        I think it would be fascinating.

  7. GravyBoyJohnson

    i think this was on fred sanford's truck and it was supposed to say GRADY politicians & CEOs.

    shut up, grady!

  8. weejee

    via Wonkette operative "Juli Weiner"

    Hi Juli, we miss you here at the Wonkette, and hope that you are enjoying the Vanity Fair. BTW, do they have hog callin', and calf showin', and Ferris wheels 'n stuff at the Vanity Fair?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      weejee: You beat me to it! There is still plenty of good humor on Wonkette, but I surely do miss Juli. Also.

    1. Rotundo_

      Almost certainly. And the kids are likely to be the same or worse. Imagine a rustier truck with a couple of subwoofer boxes out back and stars and bars festooned in the rear window, Kid Rock pumping loud enough to drown out the open pipes and a pair of methbillies breeding on the bench seat. Daddy was sophisticated enough to fire off political commentary on his truck. Junior will just puke on his.

  9. donner_froh

    Since it is a dry-erase board it would be pretty easy for some undercover Muslin to sneak up and change the message to Allah Akbar/Kill Whitey with appropriate spelling and punctuation.

  10. problemwithcaring

    Holding these sentiments doesn't make you a teabagging Republican. Mispelling these sentiments on a white board duct-taped to your vehicle (which burns more natural resources going to the mall than an entire village in China uses in a year) does mean that you're about as self-aware as one.

    1. Negropolis

      Ha! Virginia was the South before it became the South. They are the OG of the South.

      A state that brought us the likes of General George Washington and General Robert E. Lee. They were once the Texas of the Union: prideful, overbearing, and loud as all hell.

      1. HistoriCat

        I went to college in VA. No lie – there was a guy there who was convinced that the state's big mistake in the Civil War was joining the Confederacy; he believed Virginia would have been much better off if they had just seceded and gone off on their own.

  11. Pragmatist2

    "We have met the enemy and he is —- pretty much anybody but us because we are the helpless victims who bear no responsibility for the fact that our lives turned out poorly."

    Pogo – Updated to 2010

  12. DustBowlBlues

    Has anyone made out what that bumper sticker says? Presumably, not Save the Whales or Visualize World Peace. Nor even Visualize Whirled Peas.

  13. JustPixelz

    It's as well-phrased and spelled as a Palin tweet. If her teevee career doesn't work out, she can become a sign writer.

  14. the_problem_child

    All of my important rear-end messaging is delivered via a strap-on white board.

    And I miss Juli, too.

    1. Madam Killjoy

      But why listen to someone who has won the Nobel Prize in his field? PLUS the NYT is nothing but SOCIALISM/HITLER/JOOS!

  15. JackObin

    I have a sign on the back of my car that says; "I hate illiterate pickup truck drivers, especially the ones who vote against their own interests."

  16. gullywompr

    As a Virginian, I'm a little taken aback at some of these comments. Don't you folks have "Patriot Boards" on your trucks in other states? Well, Hawaii I'm sure doesn't, but you others? Come on!

  17. Beowoof

    I would bet for the cost of that truck, he could have bought himself some education at the local community college and had enough left over for a Hyundai.

    Well it is clear he went out and bought the big truck and we can all see how that money was well spent.

  18. tribbzthesquidz

    Yes, they sold your jawbz and your United States as you cheered them on and voted for them, Virginia. Now you has a sad?
    From time to time I speculate about how things would be were Colin Powell to have been elected in 2000. I bet there would have been a big 3rd party split with roughly the same cast of teabaggerers freaking out about having a sane Af-Am president. America's not ready!!!111!!!!

    1. transfatz

      Colin Powell had real potential. I was astounded that he allowed himself to be self destructed by a idiot.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      More than likely, a Bush-Gore-Powell election would have been thrown to the House, & since I think the GOP was the majority in more than half the House delegations (at least in part 'cause places like Wyoming & the Dakotas only elect one representative), we still would have gotten Bush.

  19. WarAndGee

    Er…It may be possible to burp and fart, at the same time, to produce a more grammatically correct message.

    But these are desperate times. With that in mind I'd like introduce the apostrophe "S" semi-colon


    Ta Daaaaaah.

    It is very useful and may save us from our national decline if we apply it to signs posted on the stupidly inefficient vehicles we bought 10 years ago when we thought we could send all our jobs overseas and believed REPUBLICAN POLITICIANS, CEO'S and Wall Street were delivering us the the American "dream" whereby personal and public debt didn't matter.


    1. Ducksworthy

      See what it was is, just like deficits don't matter, sending all the jobs overseas didn't matter cause we were going to be an information economy and all these brilliant truck nutz loving NASCAR imbeciles would have no-work jobs in IT. Until all those jobs went to Bangalore, where they can spell, in English.

  20. Chet Kincaid

    Don't get why the content of this message is "teabag." Just because the person can't spell? Aside from the spelling, that sign is just a run-of-the-mill Drunk Wonketteer comment.

    1. tribbzthesquidz

      Not necessarily up our own ass in a bad way. More than the spelling is the timing. And the commitment all of the sudden to paste a dry-erase board to the back of one's truck. That office accessory didn't get there because Bush was president. And it's also likely that this is not a crazed paranoid leftist since those folks usually have lots and lots of stickers. Perhaps libertarian. Probably in a pot-smoking white-person white-powr-but-listens-to-rap sorta way.
      Is "no future" a reference to the Sex Pistols? That could complicate things.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Worse yet, a tangential Sarah Connor reference?

        "The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make for ourselves… "

  21. bflrtsplk

    If you anagram the capital letters, you get OULD GAYS SPENCE SANTA FE JOE or something. There's gotta be a subliminal message there.

  22. Negropolis

    The GOP is perfect at taking misguided misery/despair and channeling it into an unholy, indiscriminate hate/rage. In other words, the GOP has perfected the art of the Two Minute Hate. It's really not that hard to manipulate these kind of people when you realize that not only haven't most of them gotten over desegregation, but they haven't gotten over losing the not-so-Civil War.

    Cognitive dissonance, much?

  23. lochnessmonster

    I wonder if s/he went to school with my daughter. They didn't correct spellling b/c it would "stifle her creativity and make her feel bad". Also, the vice-principal thought they didn't need no spellin – they have spell check nowadays.

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