About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

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  • SexySmurf

    Where does Barney Frank stand on gay soldiers dropping the soap?

    • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

      Directly behind them.

      • CalamityJames

        I can go to other forums and hear the same joke and be offended, but I come here and feel right at home.

      • Negropolis

        Hey-Yo!

  • chickensmack

    Barney Frank — the new John Oliver.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Fine, Barney. But who gets the golden showers?

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Glenn Beck?

  • SorosBot

    Everyone should support gay showers; the stench of the unwashed is disgusting and bad to deal with, regardless of the who the BO source likes to fuck.

  • SayItWithWookies

    If CNSNews doesn't have separate showers I don't see why the military should.

  • Extemporanus

    If April flowers bring gay showers, what do gay showers bring?

    • SorosBot

      Fabulous gay wedding gifts?

      • horsedreamer_1

        I was thinking "the floral arrangements for fancy June weddings (gay or straight)".

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Sore asses?

  • LocalGirlMakesGoo

    Props – I guess – to Barney for actually taking the time to answer this assclown's question. I would have passed out from rolling my eyes too much.

    • CalamityJames

      The concept that they don't get is that military showers (hygiene as we called it) last no longer than two minutes. What kind of the ghey can you get in two minutes?

      • LocalGirlMakesGoo

        Certainly not the kind I'd pay to see!

  • SmutBoffin

    They all shower together in the House of representatives? You'd think they would have separate facilities for (i) Steve King and (ii) everyone else.

    Anything else would be way gross.

  • neiltheblaze

    I'm surprised John McCain didn't ask for a study examining incidents of "shower rape" by all those testosterone fueled gay soldiers defiling the chaste virginity of those innocent, defenseless straight soldiers.

    • SexySmurf

      But I bet he wrote some fan fiction about it.

  • Radiotherapy

    We should also be nervous when Barney says, "I'm gonna make it rain!"

  • Come here a minute

    This is exactly the sort of icky thing that John McCain was sent back to the Senate to defend us from!

  • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

    I can't get over the wording of the question. Blah…blah…blah… They recommended that a gay and a straight will have to shower together… blah…blah…blah…

    Yup, from now on you have to shower in pairs. One gay for every straight.

    • Negropolis

      Ah yes, the buddy system; it never fails.

  • tcaalaw

    By the way, what happened to the big Lindsey Graham coming out party that was supposed to happen yesterday afternoon?

  • GodShammgod

    Everybody knows Republicans don't shower.

  • OkieDokieDog

    It sometimes seems like the GOP/Right Wing spokes-models/reporters think that the homosexuals just popped-up in the last couple of years.

    They act like homosexuality is some fashion fad that just won't go away… much like religion.

  • Ducksworthy

    Barney handed this douchebag his head. Is this CNS News service proud of that? Are they proud of their stupidity? Palinesque indeed.

  • CalamityJames

    I have happily (some might even say gaily) handed everyone a thumb-job on this most glorious of days. I love my Gay Muslim President.

  • ttommyunger

    Barney is a true veteran and as such, recognized he had a lightweight on his hands here. He knew handing this kid his ass was a piece of cake and played him for the inexperienced jaggoff he was and is. It was fun to watch and I think Barney enjoyed it, too. Speaking of showers, though; the kid/reporter seems like the kind of youngster who would step out of the shower to take a leak. I wonder if he realized he had his lunch money, his book-bag and his allowance taken from him by Barney.

  • jim89048

    CNS is under the Brightfart umbrella of news organizations, isn't it?

  • LionelHutzEsq

    But I thought the gheyz just licked each other clean, like cats.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Hey, you know who else made homosexuals take showers together?

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Jesus?

    • Negropolis

      A hot-and-bothered San Fernando valley porn producer?

  • Negropolis

    Who wouldn't support gay showers? I mean, even to homophobic conservatives the only thing more hated than a clean gay is a dirty gay, right? In my 1950's handbook, here, it says that the gays are a clean and industrious people. Let's keep it that way. Keep gays clean!

    BTW, why is it always the focus on the men? What about hot lesbian showers?

  • JoshuaNorton

    Don't worry straighties. If anyone throws themselves at you, you can always scream.

    It's amazing. All these trolls that think they're gay date-bait couldn't attract flies in real life.

  • salt_bagel

    That bulldog made a gay wink at me.