Those Nazis made it close for a while, but in the end, it couldn’t have gone to a better guy.
Wait, this happened during Fox and Friends, America’s number-one journalism source? Well, if anyone knows the Holocaust, it’s they. And they call it straight. BALLS AND STRIKES. They declare the winner at the 0:38 mark:
Stop exasperating Elie Wiesel! He’s been through enough. [Outside the Beltway]
{ 117 comments }
Good thing he won the Holocaust or he would have never survived the Nobel Peace Prize!!
at least they didn't call him "Fabio."
The Tribe has spoken.
Didn't see that one coming.
Vertical stripes can be very flattering.
Surprised Fox admits there was a Holocaust. The fair and balanced thing to do, at a minimum, would be to have Holocaust denier on there to give the opposing viewpoint. He could appear over a chyron saying "Holocaust Loser."
She also included Hanukah and "holidays" in her greeting. Apparently she's a double agent in the War on Christmas ™.
Slightly off topic, but speaking of Gretchen (if that's her name)… why they have to crank the heat up so high on that set? That skin tight sweater would have been the perfect medium to showcase her Miss America class nips…
Never OT. Links, por favor.
I would say that Elie Wiesel should stick to hunting escaped Nazi war criminals–there must be a few of them left–and skip the TV news business, but that would make me a bad person so I won't.
I cain't unnerstand a word that fuckin weasel said – why don't he learn to speak 'Mericun?!
And now that he's won the Holocaust, he's GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
Because as we all know, no fascists have anything to do with Disneyland.
Walt may raise up out of the grave to greet him.
Obama/Hitler should take note that Wiesel cannot be defeated. And the Health Care Reform Holocaust the TP'ers predicted is doomed to a mere "participant" medal.
Too bad he didn't bring the illegal detainees at GITMO, we'd of been treated to the site of staff at Fux picking up tiny little shards of what would have been left of Gretch's head.
I suppose this makes Anne Frank a Holocaust loser…
Her and millions of unfortunate others. We are all Holocaust losers, other than some of the companies that profited off the war.
Some things never die:
Due to the severity of the war crimes committed by IG Farben during World War II, the company was considered to be too corrupt to be allowed to continue to exist. The Western Allies in 1951, split the company up into its original constituent companies. The four largest quickly bought the smaller ones. Today only Agfa, BASF, and Bayer remain, Hoechst having in 1999 demerged its industrial chemical operations to Celanese AG and merged its life-sciences businesses with Rhône-Poulenc's to form Aventis. Part of Hoechst was afterwards Celanese AG, while another part of the company was sold in 1997 to the chemical spin-off of Sandoz, the Muttenz (Switzerland) based Clariant.
IG Farben was officially put into liquidation in 1952, but this does not mean the company ceased to exist as a legal entity; up to today, it is still in existence as a corporation "in liquidation", meaning that the purpose of the continuing existence of the corporation is being wound up and dissolved orderly. As of 2010, its shares are still traded on German markets
Wasn't IBM part of IG Farben?
Like Time Life Magazine.
Wiesel didn't win the entire Holocaust. He just won the indivual achievement award for Best Art Direction and Best Adapted Screenplay.
Wasn't he in that movie….?
Spoiler Alert: this is the audience price for Oprah's final show.
You win a Holocaust! You win a Holocaust! You and you and you! Everybody wins a Holocaust!
You kid, but after a couple more failed diets, she could snap and go Bond villain on us. A hungry unstable Oprah would not be a benevolent overlord.
She looks like she needs a Dildo missile shot at her.
I didn't know they gave out rings at the holocaust.
Yeah, Jesse Owens won one, but Hitler wouldn't give it to him.
Yes they did in the beginning, but the winners wore them as belts, so they stopped later on in the games.
Do NOT ask where they got the gold, it is an awful story.
It's a crematory and a smelter, two great things that go great together. Ugh, I feel like Nielist now.
Free Bradley Manning! Too bad he's not Jewish.
And Eli Manning. Also.
Neither Payton or Eli come free of charge.
Them's some ugly brothers. But, when you consider where they are from, you understand the high statistical chance of them being such.
So now that we know who won the Holocaust, will Fox tell us who won slavery? My guess would be either Sojourner Truth or Frederick Douglass.
The South, of course, their tourist reenactments and their States Rights commemorations.
Plus all the slaves ended up in de-facto slavery as sharecroppers, prison laborers, and underpaid servants. Hurray for the Reconstruction!
Well, we know that Martin Luther King Jr. didn't win civil rights.
Haha — wrong. It's Michael Steele, Party of Lincoln.
The modern-day Republicans won slavery and the party never realigned. That's their lie, and they are sticking to it.
Won the Holocaust? Pah, I won the Internets!
With apologies to everyone here, I don't know that there's anything that can be said that's funnier than that caption.
True, really, its sad, but so fucking funny, I am laughing so hard, tears are running down my face, as I simultaneously bash my head repeatedly into a wall. For some reason, these are the two responses I just felt were appropriate, laughing hysterically and bashing my head against a wall.
You've described my reaction perfectly. I can't stop laughing, but it's so wrong on so many levels.
I'm sure that John Ellis was pacing back in forth waiting for a call from Jeb Bush before they called it for Wiesel.
Great job, Elie! Just don't head for the showers!
So wrong. Funny as fuck, but SOOOOOO wrong…
You just made me gasp and say, "OH NO HE DI INT Just go there!"
Oh I went there! But, you know, I did tell him NOT to go to the showers! It's not like I was suggesting Elie Wiesel be gassed.
They never showed a leader board, so you could, uh, root for your favorite while getting pleasantly smashed for Holocaust Sunday.
I believe he's also a Nobel Prize Survivor.
I wonder how Elie is at the Cha-cha-cha?
I'm not so surprised. Why just last week, didn't they announce Nelson Mandela Apartheid Runner-up?
I think AIDS won Apartheid.
& pretty much everything else in South Africa.
Yes, and I think Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda are about to compete for the title bout of feminism.
In the end, though, with the Holocaust, were we not all winners?
Pat Buchanan was on hand to award Mr. Wiesel the prize: A toaster oven.
I'm making a running list of those going to Hell over this piece:
OK, so far it's vulpes82, guangho..
You know I'm right. Or would be if Pattycake knew what a toaster oven was.
I'm sitting here listening to Dean Martin sing "Silver Bells" for about the seventieth time this month. I'm already in hell, bub.
Thank the heavenly Lord Father God and all that is holy that most who like him are either dead or dying!! I have a girl here in my office that has listened to him, Bing and Elvis xmas songs for two fucking weeks now! If she worked for me and not my business partner, I would have already fired her!!
Now that we have that out of the way, what are the odds on Palin winning the impending Apocalypse?
They're depressed about this over at POLITICO, as it makes winning the afternoon seem kinda tame.
FREE SAKINEH!!!
And he won it with 169% of the vote.
How did this take so long? Was he playing against Joe Miller or Norm Coleman or some shit?
Now maybe they'll finally invite him to host Saturday Night Live!
Now Weisel goes up against Alexandr Solzhenitsyn, collectivization winner, and apartheid winner Nelson Mandela for the 20th Century Atrocities Cup.
With Michael Moore a distant 4th.
Brought to you by Heineken.
"Holiday Season"?!?!? FOX has lost the war on Xmas!
Man, Politico must be pissed. Winning the morning doesn't really compete with winning the Holocaust.
They only made this announcement to steal the thunder from the U.Conn women's basketball team, who set a winning streak record yesterday.
Fox and Friends, a Fassbinder film, right?
"A hollow victory."
—Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
I'd like to buy some Holocaust gear to wear while I cheer on old Elie here but the jerseys really suck!
Now if we had a Holocaust cloak, THAT would be something.
You get to wear the green cloak when you win the Masters Holocaust.
I'd settle for an alive Andre the Giant
Wait. Did he win THE holocaust; or did he WIN a holocaust?
Because if FOX News made this guy the winner of a contest in which the prize is receiving a holocaust, that would just be fucked up.
How do they determine a prize value for something like that, you know for taxes?
Spoiler Alert: the Fox Christmas Special will celebrate the Baby Jeebus Winning Christmas. Bill-O will be the presenter and Glenn Beck will M/C. For special music, a duet by Rush Limpbaugh and Bill Kristol singing their patented version of "Away in a Boxcar". Pat Buchanan will be Sgt. at Arms and will appear in uniform for the occasion, including his trusty Luger. There will be a surprise appearance by Sarah Palin; scooter trash Nationwide will be hoping and praying she will finally show us her tits. "Gott Mitt Uns" One and All!
Speaking of weepy Glenn- today I saw literally 100 geese flying in V formations on Rockville Pike- It must mean God loves the Pike or the stores there.
Prolly a “V” FOR VICTORY over the evil libruls.
It's actually another one of their comical typos. They meant: Holocaust whiner.
I stated almost exactly that thought about 10 comments down, nearly worded precisely to the letter. I deleted it and shall commence the nightly blood poisoning forthwith.
Tonight's blood poisoning brought to you by Sam Adams Infinium.
Well, Fox being Fox, one could assume they were going for 'Holocaust Whiner', but had another typo…
Wiesel single-handedly defeated Hitler with his novels, proving once and for all that the pen is mightier than the sword.
Except that studies have proven that 78.53% of Fox News viewers are functionally illiterate. Might explain why we go bomb the shit out of everything and everyone.
Big mistake. Everyone knows the hippies won the Holocaust.
I thought Don Cheadle was robbed when he didn't win the Rawandan Tutsi genocide.
I don't know why Wonkette is making such a big deal out of another ClusterFox crawl typo.
It's obvious this was awarded by Pat Buchanan and it's obvious the word they were striving for is "Whiner."
Its too bad we're stil losing the Crusades.
Fox and Fiends new segment, "Anchors I'd Like to Fuck," will begin right after they declare a winner in the War on Terror.
Hey – better than being mislabled a Republican, amirite?
I believe the award presenter for that category was Mel Gibson.
Of course he won the Holocaust — he had the winning numbers hidden up his sleeve.
*dies*
from shame and laughter.
OK, now it's vulpes82, guangho, Extemporanus…
And they might be going in a day or two.
I'm surprised it took this long for that old joke to pop out.
"Push For Human Rights During Holiday Season"
For the rest of the year, kids, you're on your own.
"Push For Human Rights During Holiday [War on Christmas! Even if he is Jewish] Season" Yeh, right, like we didn't already have enough to do this time of year.
Just like that whole gay people in the US Military thing – what's the rush? Just why do we have to deal with this NOW?
Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!
Unfortunately it was pork flavored…
you win some you lose some.
Aren't you the Indian of the group?
That was quicker than the Cubs.
When I saw the headline, I thought it meant that Eli was the last Holocaust survivor. Because in the end, there can be only one.
But, where is his Weagle?
WHEEEEERRRRRE?!111!?XYZ
Its about time!
A WINNER IS JEW!
When's the Victory Parade?
you win some, you lose some.
The Jews win everything, don't they? Plus, they own everything in the world, and start all of its wars!
Wait, what?
BTW, this entire thread is going to Christian Hell. It will be promptly and kindly greeted by Hell's host Richard M. Nixon and his dog Checkers. Oh, and Henry Ford and Charles Lindbergh. Also.
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