Joe Manchin Sorry He Disappears When a Politically Dangerous Vote Happens

by Jack Stuef

Newly elected Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) apologized Tuesday for missing two key votes over the weekend while attending a Christmas party. [...]

Manchin missed votes on the repeal of the military’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and the DREAM Act, a controversial immigration bill. [...]

Manchin said that he would not miss a vote under such circumstances again.

Next time, he will pretend to faint. And the time after that, he will lock himself in chains and a straitjacket and be lowered into the Potomac. And the time after that, he will suddenly act as if he doesn’t speak English and vote “No Comprende” on the bills. And the time after that, he will drink some antifreeze and need to be taken to the hospital. [The Hill]

 

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{ 30 comments }

SwattieSwat December 22, 2010 at 11:27 am

Hey now, Wonkette, he was just standing by the brave party throwers who stuck by the word "Christmas" in the title. If it had been a 'Holiday Party', you can rest assured that good ol' Man-Chin would have been there to vote! But he had to save Christmas with Jim Inhofe!

PsycWench December 22, 2010 at 11:28 am

he will drink some antifreeze and have to be taken to the hospital

Remember that antifreeze has little impact on someone who's drunk, especially someone who may have cut his teeth drinking West Virginia moonshine.

V572625694 December 22, 2010 at 11:51 am

They probably refer to antifreeze as a "mixer."

"Hey, Cletus, lemme cut that 'shine with a splash a Prestone fer ya."

nounverb911 December 22, 2010 at 11:31 am

So much for "Country First". Oh wait, that was McCain's line.

Amaravilha December 22, 2010 at 11:31 am

He was out hiking the Appalachian Trail, obvs.

BaldarTFlagass December 22, 2010 at 11:32 am

And the time after that, he will suddenly act as if he doesn’t speak English and vote “No Comprende” on the bills.

"Me nombre es Josè. No sabè."

elviouslyqueer December 22, 2010 at 11:44 am

missing two key votes over the weekend while attending a Christmas party.

So that's who was coming out of Lindsey Graham's apartment. Don't ask, don't tell, indeed!

CZL December 22, 2010 at 11:51 am

I have a feeling there will be a lot of coming out related to Miss Lindsay soon.

rbrnt2b December 22, 2010 at 11:45 am

So he's a chickenshit. Like that's a new breed in Washington.

ManchuCandidate December 22, 2010 at 11:47 am

Byrd never missed a vote only when he was dead.

SexySmurf December 22, 2010 at 11:58 am

Or if there was cross burning.

SayItWithWookies December 22, 2010 at 11:58 am

"Senator Manchin is terribly sorry for missing these votes on critical issues of our day — however, his constitutency would never understand if he took the ethical position, so he decided to hide instead and apologize later. We're still cool, right?"

mumbly_joe December 22, 2010 at 12:01 pm

he will suddenly act as if he doesn’t speak English and vote “No Comprende” on the bills

I am pretty sure that sans DREAM Act, that sorta ploy is liable to getcha deported. Particularly in West Virginie.

horsedreamer_1 December 22, 2010 at 12:03 pm

He's gone emo.

Joe truly is a desaparecido.

BlueStateLibel December 22, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Will he have his pay docked? He is supposed to be "working," right?

Limeylizzie December 22, 2010 at 12:11 pm

. I remember watching the coverage of that Sago Mine disaster and Gov.Joe Manchin spoke really eloquently and beautifully. Where is that guy?

Not_So_Much December 22, 2010 at 12:20 pm

I dunno. I even felt for him in the nasty race vs. the silver spoon, country club asshat from Florida. But with his gun masturbating, pooping on healthcare and now this, he's quickly moving to Balls-on-man-chin territory. Empty suit political 'ho.

Negropolis December 22, 2010 at 10:55 pm

I remember the Sago Mine disaster coverage, and while I sympathized with the state, I found Manchin thoroughly underwhelming and everything but eloquent. I remember them interviewing the guy and calling him "Governor Manchin" and I almost did a double-take. I thought he was some random guy in town that they'd found to interview.

Sometime, you can be too much of the people. I know, elitist, but so the fuck what?

JoeMamased December 22, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Two weeks ago he didn't know why he was voting against repeal of DADT, so not voting at all is kind of an improvement, maybe.

SwattieSwat December 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm

I love the optimism.

donner_froh December 22, 2010 at 12:36 pm

His dog ate his list of when Senate votes were scheduled.

mumbly_joe December 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

But if he keeps on vanishing when votes on important legislation take place, how will he ever manage to shoot the health care reform legislation in the face, with bullets votes bullets?

LionelHutzEsq December 22, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Dear Senate,

Please excuse Joe Manchin from his vote today, as he had to help run errands for the family.

Yours,

Senator Manchin's Mother.

LionelHutzEsq December 22, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Truth be told, Senator Manchin has decided not to vote since he found out that you can't do it with a shotgun.

Naked_Bunny December 22, 2010 at 1:12 pm

It was Harry Reid's fault for not liveblogging the votes on Twitter. How's Manchin supposed to keep informed?

Allmighty_Manos December 22, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Sen. Ron Wyden (from Oregon) skipped a battery of tests required before he had cancer surgery on Monday so he could vote on DADT and the DREAM Act.. Just saying.

finallyhappy December 22, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Cancer- what kind of sissy excuse is that? Now a CHRISTMAS party- that counts in this Congress.

Negropolis December 22, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Manchin wanted to be Senator this bad, and how does he show his gratitude to the national organizations that bailed his flailing ass out? You don't get to choose to vote on the easy votes and get away with, at least not for too long.

What a flake, and what prissy diva he is.

arihaya December 23, 2010 at 5:59 am

It was a smart move by Manchin.

to be as respected as the late Senator Byrd by West Virginian, Manchin also need to avoid controversial vote. That, or learning to play fiddle as great as Senator Byrd.

Negropolis December 23, 2010 at 6:52 am

Who wants to take up a collection for fiddle lessons for Man-Chin? Hell, I'll buy the fiddle, myself. 'Cause, this missing important votes is sure as hell not going to cut it.

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