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Newly elected Sen. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) apologized Tuesday for missing two key votes over the weekend while attending a Christmas party. […]

Manchin missed votes on the repeal of the military’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy and the DREAM Act, a controversial immigration bill. […]

Manchin said that he would not miss a vote under such circumstances again.

Next time, he will pretend to faint. And the time after that, he will lock himself in chains and a straitjacket and be lowered into the Potomac. And the time after that, he will suddenly act as if he doesn’t speak English and vote “No Comprende” on the bills. And the time after that, he will drink some antifreeze and need to be taken to the hospital. [The Hill]

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  • SwattieSwat

    Hey now, Wonkette, he was just standing by the brave party throwers who stuck by the word "Christmas" in the title. If it had been a 'Holiday Party', you can rest assured that good ol' Man-Chin would have been there to vote! But he had to save Christmas with Jim Inhofe!

  • PsycWench

    he will drink some antifreeze and have to be taken to the hospital

    Remember that antifreeze has little impact on someone who's drunk, especially someone who may have cut his teeth drinking West Virginia moonshine.

    • V572625694

      They probably refer to antifreeze as a "mixer."

      "Hey, Cletus, lemme cut that 'shine with a splash a Prestone fer ya."

  • nounverb911

    So much for "Country First". Oh wait, that was McCain's line.

  • Amaravilha

    He was out hiking the Appalachian Trail, obvs.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    And the time after that, he will suddenly act as if he doesn’t speak English and vote “No Comprende” on the bills.

    "Me nombre es Josè. No sabè."

  • elviouslyqueer

    missing two key votes over the weekend while attending a Christmas party.

    So that's who was coming out of Lindsey Graham's apartment. Don't ask, don't tell, indeed!

    • CZL

      I have a feeling there will be a lot of coming out related to Miss Lindsay soon.

  • rbrnt2b

    So he's a chickenshit. Like that's a new breed in Washington.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Byrd never missed a vote only when he was dead.

    • SexySmurf

      Or if there was cross burning.

  • SayItWithWookies

    "Senator Manchin is terribly sorry for missing these votes on critical issues of our day — however, his constitutency would never understand if he took the ethical position, so he decided to hide instead and apologize later. We're still cool, right?"

  • mumbly_joe

    he will suddenly act as if he doesn’t speak English and vote “No Comprende” on the bills

    I am pretty sure that sans DREAM Act, that sorta ploy is liable to getcha deported. Particularly in West Virginie.

  • horsedreamer_1

    He's gone emo.

    Joe truly is a desaparecido.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Will he have his pay docked? He is supposed to be "working," right?

  • Limeylizzie

    . I remember watching the coverage of that Sago Mine disaster and Gov.Joe Manchin spoke really eloquently and beautifully. Where is that guy?

    • Not_So_Much

      I dunno. I even felt for him in the nasty race vs. the silver spoon, country club asshat from Florida. But with his gun masturbating, pooping on healthcare and now this, he's quickly moving to Balls-on-man-chin territory. Empty suit political 'ho.

    • Negropolis

      I remember the Sago Mine disaster coverage, and while I sympathized with the state, I found Manchin thoroughly underwhelming and everything but eloquent. I remember them interviewing the guy and calling him "Governor Manchin" and I almost did a double-take. I thought he was some random guy in town that they'd found to interview.

      Sometime, you can be too much of the people. I know, elitist, but so the fuck what?

  • JoeMamased

    Two weeks ago he didn't know why he was voting against repeal of DADT, so not voting at all is kind of an improvement, maybe.

    • SwattieSwat

      I love the optimism.

  • donner_froh

    His dog ate his list of when Senate votes were scheduled.

  • mumbly_joe

    But if he keeps on vanishing when votes on important legislation take place, how will he ever manage to shoot the health care reform legislation in the face, with bullets votes bullets?

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Dear Senate,

    Please excuse Joe Manchin from his vote today, as he had to help run errands for the family.


    Senator Manchin's Mother.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Truth be told, Senator Manchin has decided not to vote since he found out that you can't do it with a shotgun.

  • Naked_Bunny

    It was Harry Reid's fault for not liveblogging the votes on Twitter. How's Manchin supposed to keep informed?

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Sen. Ron Wyden (from Oregon) skipped a battery of tests required before he had cancer surgery on Monday so he could vote on DADT and the DREAM Act.. Just saying.

    • finallyhappy

      Cancer- what kind of sissy excuse is that? Now a CHRISTMAS party- that counts in this Congress.

  • Negropolis

    Manchin wanted to be Senator this bad, and how does he show his gratitude to the national organizations that bailed his flailing ass out? You don't get to choose to vote on the easy votes and get away with, at least not for too long.

    What a flake, and what prissy diva he is.

  • arihaya

    It was a smart move by Manchin.

    to be as respected as the late Senator Byrd by West Virginian, Manchin also need to avoid controversial vote. That, or learning to play fiddle as great as Senator Byrd.

    • Negropolis

      Who wants to take up a collection for fiddle lessons for Man-Chin? Hell, I'll buy the fiddle, myself. 'Cause, this missing important votes is sure as hell not going to cut it.

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