Lindsey Graham, South Carolina’s favorite lifelong bachelor and former military prosecutor, is always reliably against homosexuals having any basic human rights in America because Lindsey’s a Republican, y’all. Anyway, famous outer-of-self-hating-queers Mike Rogers says he’s got pictures of one of Lindsey’s boy toys leaving Lindsey’s house. This would be SHOCKING because come on, everybody knows Republicans cannot be gay because Jesus did not make gays.
Mike Rogers says on his Twitter:
I wonder if Lindsey Graham knows I have pictures of a man who spent the night at his house. pls RT
– 10:57 AM Dec 18thJust reached lawyer at home. Meeting set for Tues. on releasing pix of man who spent night at Lindsey Graham’s.
– 11:05 AM Dec 18th
While this is looking very good for John McCain and the gay distractions that bedevil his crazy head, we must also wonder if John McCain will call for the execution of his best boy pal in all of Washington, because everybody knows that America WILL NOT TOLERATE any gay “distractions” when people are getting blown, and getting their legs blown off. [Mike Rogers Twitter]
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This is news? Graham coming out would be just as surprising as when Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken did.
La Vida Ham Biscuits.
It's quite clear that Senator Graham was merely trying to save some wayward young man's soul. And he needed help with his luggage also.
Trying to suck the gay out of him?
If that doesn't work, he could also try to fuck the gay out of him, or, the converse.
Please, Miss Lindsay is a total power bottom if ever there was one.
my money's on srsly GAY Rep. Shock, for the WIN! http://www.queerty.com/rep-aaron-shock-burned-his…
I'd laugh so much if it was John McCain leaving Lindsey's place as it would explain McCain's Ahab like obsession against the Ghey.
Lemon Party!
Walnuts has been trying to 'cure' him for years. Usually by spending time with navy seamen. 'Splains why John is sooooo mad all the time — I mean, Lindsey is clearly the hot one.
You said semen!!!!
We all know what happened to Ahab when he tried to mount Moby Dick.
Might also explain why they were calling him "Johnny Wet-Start" long before he ever flew a jet.
"It's not the policy! It's not the policy! IT'S NOT THE POLICY!"
Rogers first tweeted this on the 18th, so what's the hold-up? PICS or GTFO.
My guess someone is willing to pay more cash money for the story.
How can anyone out Lindsey Graham? I mean, he's so far in the closet he's BFF with the White Witch in Narnia.
And, WWBS (What Would Bristol Say)?
You're just hating on Lindsey because he's a Hard Ass Worker!
Bravo! (applauds)
He doesn't look like any power top I have ever seen.
To clarify:
Hard-ass worker (Power bottom),
not:
Hard ass-worker (top).
Alas, hyphens eventually make fools of us all.
This makes me thankful for being both old and straight. I could never learn all these code words.
Bwahahahahahaha………you are fuckin' killing me, here.
I thought the Senate was just a constipated, buttoned-up bathhouse for chinless tortoises and Super Tubers to go Foucault on each other…
the fanciest closet in America
Something is getting blown, and pretty sure it's Lindsey Graham's
poolboychoirboy"bodyguard".It's gotten pretty rough for Kevin Costner.
But it explains Swing Voter, at least.
Two issues with this post:
1. If Lindsey is gay then apparently he paid better attention in the military than Walnuts because he is still all in one piece (no matter how twisted)….and
2. My boy Lindsey is no more gay than Johnny Travolta…oh wait.
John Travolta? Come on now, next you'll be claiming that that nice Tom Cruise, or both Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, are closeted. Or even Richard Simmons.
How DARE you cast aspersions on Richard Simmons. Why, he's a perfectly nice young man who just happens to be the teensiest bit flamboyant. Just like that lovely Bryan Fischer over at the AFA.
Or that delightful Charles Nelson Riley fellow, oh, he is so funny.
Is that the appeal of Scientology? Do they have some special pray-away-the-gay Thetans in their volcano hideout or something?
Pretty much, yeah. They've got the same homophobia as fundamentalist Christianity and promise that they can cure it; meanwhile, converts have to confess all their secrets early on in initiation so they have the threat of outing any closeted members to hold over their heads.
Damn – I should have been quicker with the Richard Simmons joke. Drat!
I believe that in the 30's the euphemism people used for obviously gay men was that they were 'sensitive.'
Was that just before or after "cocksucker" was in vogue?
I think it would be embarrassing for the guy leaving Lindsey's house. Come on, I wouldn't sleep with Lindsey if he were the last gay on earth.
Oh, come now. Lindsey Graham is a Senator. All Senators are wealthy. Thus Lindsey Graham is wealthy. Money talks.
And the best way of cashing in? "Accidentally" being seen leaving the house under questionable circumstances.
But he's a Senator, and just as with straight men and young women, rich and powerful gay men have no problem attracting younger and better looking men; the same even goes for lesbians (See Ellen and Portia).
Now, now. Ellen is a handsome woman.
Between AIDS, bashing and military service during various wars, Graham may actually become the last gay on earth. And since they recruit instead of reproduce, that will make teh ghey extinct.
Seriously. My vagina just seized up, had a sympathetic stroke, and is now sporting a horribly lopsided camel toe.
that almost sounds like fun! or at least worth a quick look? (gotta luv the cameltoe!)
But he has such purty blue eyes…
It's just the ham biscuits delivery boy.
It's kind of astonishing that the thread got this far before Lindsey's favorite food got mentioned.
Jesus didn't make gays, he just wore a dress and hung around with nothing but dudes, like Lindsey Graham.
Mary Magdalene was his beard.
What? Can't confirmed bachelors have other confirmed bachelors stay overnight, so they can, you know, talk about how much they love to eat pussy and stuff?
It feels like a bag of sand, right?
"Dude, are you gay? 'Cause it's cool if you like to fuck guys. I have friends who like to fuck guys…in prison."
Planning what to wear to the Secession Ball, and such.
G-ood looks
A-ndrogynous name
Y-outhful attire
That spells "GAY" to me!
Well, one outta three is still "GAY"!
Where does the R fit?
This is good news for Alvin Greene.
Zen & the Art of Re-counts.
I thought the reason that he was still unmarried had something to do with his hideous unattractiveness.
This is REALLY good news for John McCain.
This is good news for Meghan McCain.
Whatever did happen to Jeff Gannon? Or would he be too butch for a classic, "Ashley Wilkes" model southern country-club fairy? By their plaid pants shall you know them, and their duck belt.
I'm sure he likes the rough trade to ravish him like Sherman did Atlanta!
Oh prommie, fashion fail. The rule is: plaid pants, solid belt. Solid pants, duck belt.
One of my most prized possessions is a spouting whale belt. Of course it is not worn with plaid, silly.
My Navy pilot friends told me that you are not considered gay if you only let them blow you.
"They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit"
This goes for the cholos in California, too. Something about being in institutions with a lack of females for too long. It's funny when it sticks after they get out of the joint/service though.
I know a Puerto Rican guy in NYC who told me same is true in their culture. He says, as an openly gay man, he's quite welcome to "service" men who consider themselves to be straight both before and after the entertainment he provides.
So if I only let your Navy pilot friends blow me, I'm in the clear?
Is this some kind of "any port in a storm" rule for when they are deployed? They allow themselves to patronize the gobble-wallahs?
One of their stories ended with, "did you ever get a really good blowjob from a chick in the Philippines? Are you sure it was a chick? Does that make you gay that you didn't check to see?"
I thought this was a political/humor site. Why are you hitting us with the deep philosophy?
Sorry – this is just a subject I know quite well, with my doctoral thesis being "Solving the Chick/Dude Blowjob Conundrum".
Read the chapter in John Water's book Role Models, about USMC porn.
It's no big deal, Lindsey was just letting former colleague Larry Craig crash on his sofa.
And use the bathroom.
Is that what Lindsey's calling himself, these days? The bathroom? Really?
Boom!
Lindsey's such an old southern lady that he and his boy-toy probably had separate bedrooms…so I'd suggest looking for ass tracks in the hallway, if someone wants evidence.
And so how his this different? Hypocracy is the name of the game in DC politics. Would we expect anything less from Republicans and politicians in general? What would be really shocking if a politician actually kept his promise and was honest the whole time. Good luck with that.
What would be really shocking if a politician actually kept his promise and was honest the whole time
Minds would be blown.
For a change.
First, Casey Stengel; then Charles Bronson; then Dick Butkus.
Now Lindsey Graham
Is nothing sacred?
Is nothing sacred?
Stand up. Put your hands behind your back. Try to touch the back of your knees with your hands without bending your knees, arms or waist. Turn your wrists so the palms are facing forward. Now grab the closest bit of your body. — That's what's sacred to them.
The Senate is a pretty good gig, isn't it? You'd think he could at least afford a decent beard on his salary. These guys don't even try anymore.
Did you see his questioning of Elena Kagan at her confirmation hearings?
"What did you do at Christmas last year?"
I wanted to tell Lindsey to stop hemming and hawing and just ask her for a beard date.
Guys, this is a non-story.
Everyone knows Christmas is the most important holiday of all time because Jesus, and during this most sacred celebration we're supposed to don our gayest apparel.
In addition to being a political maverick, Graham is also a fashion maverick. His gay apparel this year happens to be an 18 year old boy.
Why are you starting a war on fashion?
How could suggest there's anything gay about that classic Christmas song? Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Lindsssy was just showing his friend his Yule log.
If my home state can forgive intercontinental adultery…
Man is this good news! I've got so much Christmas shopping left to do and to find out that it's not really the end of December but rather only the beginning of Cocktober is a huge relief.
Dickcember. Get with it.
And then they threw his barbells out the window after him.
He and his overnight guest were just going over Lindsey's positions on Don't Ask Don't Tell.
I'm guessing "missionary" isn't one of them.
Oh Jebus! Everybody, please join hands and pray the gay right out of Lindsey. The prayer chain always works in ridding a good Godly man of that demon abomination.
/lol
Virtuous Circle Jerk.
Dear Almighty Dog,
Please, please, please let this be true. If you grant me this paltry request I will stop stuffing cheese slices in those prepaid credit card application envelopes and sending them back to Visa, Master Card and such.
Devotionally Yours,
MG
ok i am so TOTALLY doing that. and i am going to use AMERICAN cheese.
Use the Wal-Mart knockoff brand. Sweet!
Whatever happens, please don't stop doing that.
I believe if you buy the cheapest prepackaged American type pseudocheese in large quantities it will come to about 3 cents a letter not that I’m encouraging such unpleasant behavior.
♪♫ She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice
She said Lola, L-O-L-A, Lola, L-L-Lola ♫♪
Perhaps a new State Song for the Yellow Jasmine State.
If you don't tell me how to do those little musical notes – I'll vote republican in the next general!!
hold the alt and type 13 = ♪
hold the alt and type 14 = ♫
♪♫ ta la ♫♪
That was no man – it was just the other non-gay/unwed in Washington, Elena Kagan.
Awwww, I think Kagan and Graham would make a really cute couple… then again, I've always had a bias for lesbian couples…
Someone said at a bar the other day that they saw Lindsey Graham at some place called "the Eagle" and another place called "the Crew Club" and that he was seen leaving a popular gym in Northern Virginia at 3 a.m. with a different tie than what he wore going in, and that he was seen at Dupont Circle at some race event thing days before Halloween and that he was recently on a trip to Fire Island with Larry Craig and that he subscribes to "Playgirl" and he has seen "Burlesque" three times, and he has seen "Oklahoma" at Arena Stage and "South Pacific" at that Arlington place and he shops at Lord and Taylor and he eats quiche at brunches at Perrry's in Adams Morgan every Sunday.
Is that gay?
Nope. Why do you ask?
Really? I think that just reading it made me gay.
BTW, is there anything you get for being recruited into the gay agenda or whatever? Some better-fitting slacks, maybe?
We used to offer some pretty fabulous incentives, like toaster ovens and Cher Comeback concert tix. Now you just get to settle for things that are more aesthetically pleasing, like gazing wistfully at the FIT training guy, Chris O'Donnell, Stephen Dorff, or Daniel Radcliffe. Oh, and from a purely practical standpoint, chicks like us because we're (generally) witty, fun to be around, and "safe dates." So there is that.
…something like this maybe? http://gawker.com/5561462/congressmans-outfit-mak…
Nope. Just a little touristy.
In fairness to Lindsey, I've been single even longer than he has, and not gay. Then again, I came out as an ugly a long time ago.
But Lindsay is not ugly, he is uuuuuuuuuugly!
Dear Mr. Ugly: I think it was very brave of you to use your real picture in lieu of an avatar.
ME TOO! although I DO have this very strong attraction to ElviouslyQueer lately, does that make me gay? (hey he makes me laugh, laugh, laugh!)
He just needed help getting that Yule Log unpinched.
Mmm, cum!
Is that the gayble version of "Jesus wept"?
It's a shout out to the late, gay Editor Jim Newell, who just cold smeared that alt text all over that "Joementum & Homomentum" glee club yearbook photo many moons ago.
(I can't see alt text on my computational device, so hopefully Ken didn't do the same. But if he did, just shove a "more" or "chunky" or something in the middle of my original comment, and call it a day.)
Rope-y, rope-y cum.
HAHA GROSS
PLARSE WUN FOR YOU SIR
What makes anyone thnk that the gays would really want that prissy little wanker in their ranks?
big thumbs up on that one
well, lindsey is the better half in that picture for sure.
Lieberman appears to enjoy Lindsey's "and this is how is gobble McCain's little cock" joke just a tad to enthusiastically.
Here's something relevant to take away everyone's productivity today:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Transp…
Only if it's not noteworthy.
Oh noes! Next we'll find out that Liberace and Richard Simmons are gay too.
Lindsey, I don't care how soft and ladylike your hands are, the answer's no.
Hey! Lay off. Lindsey goes to the Grecian Baths only because he feels dirty …. and so very needy.
I'm sure he was just his 'Business Associate', Benji…….
You had to do it didn't you, and this close to Christmas…? You got any heart left? You had to paint me the mental picture of this creature nude on all fours, all greased up and whimpering 'it's so big, daddy…'?
Lucky day only for bulimics needing a new trigger.
I bet it was Kevin Spacey.
HAHAHAHAHA. And yes. Although I would've said it was Jim Brickman.
He has better taste and no trouble getting attention.
TRUE STORY:
About eleven or twelve years ago, my filterless, flamboyant, fag hag-ulous girlfriend at the time was a waitress at this overpriced little breakfast joint in San Francisco's Marina district that was inexplicably popular with local "royalty" (Robin Williams, Willie Brown, Lars Ulrich, and the like.)
One morning, around 8am, Kevin Spacey sauntered in with a jean shorts and tank top-clad slight young man whom she gauged to be about sixteen, seventeen tops. Being that she was the most erudite and entertaining five-foot tall platinum blonde "Express Yourself"-era Madonna-by-way-of-Phyllis Diller-esque waitress on staff, the cranky old queen running the place promptly seated Mr. Spacey's party of two in her section.
Here's a rough transcript of what followed:
GIRLFRIEND: "Good morning! Can I get you and your boyfriend some coffee while you decide on what to order?"
SPACEY: "He's my son."
GIRLFRIEND: "Oh, of course he is, Mr. Söze." **wink wink**
SPACEY: "Excuse me?"
GIRLFRIEND: "Two coffees…extra cream…coming right up!"
She was fired before their flapjacks even left the griddle.
From the little research I've done, cocksucker preceded motherfucker.
This is why the internet is awesome. You have some weird question pop into your head, such as which word is older- cocksucker or motherfucker, and in seconds you can have your answer. In the dark ages before the late 1990s, you had to decide if the trivial bullshit that had sparked your curiosity was worth a long frustrating trip to the library.
And, with u-scan checkouts, and online catalogs, you don't even have to ask a librarian an embarrassing questions, or have the clerk see what you're checking, well, except for the time they spend in the system looking up everyone's checkouts for shits-and-giggles.
Both just before tits, according to George Carlin.
I can only hope that the pictures are clear enough to make out McCain's misshapen visage.
Hey isn't today one of those "Tuesday" deals? Or should we now refer to it as "Whosgay?"
Indeed, he was so stridently moralistic on a subject about which he had no real right to opine, it made one wonder if he wasn't trying to divert attention from himself…
I object to Graham coming out on the grounds that he is not worthy of the fabulous Gay label.
We (*adjusts tiara*) concur (*gives royal wave*).
Is it Aaron Schock (R-FLAMING) in the pics?
Please let it be Mitch McConnell in those photos.
Oh, pish-posh. Next thing, you'll be claiming Orrin Hatch is gay!
Anyone named "Lindsey Graham" or "Orrin Hatch" has to be batting for the alternate team.
He's a lifelong bachelor? And I thought he was stupid.
Not reported was the fact that Lindsay was heard shouting after the guest: "You never even gave me a reach-around!".
Wait, my congressman's name is Mike Rogers…
LOL, it doesn't appear that many here are SHOCKED about Lindsey Graham! Just add him to this looooonnng list of Republicans: http://www.republicanoffenders.com/
or this: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo…
I do hope there is a picture of John McCain sneaking out the back door, or the incoming Weeper of the House John of Orange. Can we have the information before Christmas, like an early Christmas present to rub in the face of RWNJ relatives??
Gay? Lindsay? The guy the wonkeratti has been identifying as Graham (R-Closet) for years? It's a Xmas dream come true.
Damn, got on "my" wonkette too late. Exhausted from preparing another perfect fucking Xmas for my unappreciative family, I'm going to bed.
Later, losers.
Good night, oh and you Okies should tighten up your borders, evidently some of you sharia is leaking out and dripping on poor Louie Gohmert's head.
Great, you've prepared YAPFC (the "Y" is for "yet" — its a computer nerd joke), and I finally rolled my ass downhill to Modesto for a brief burst of worthly shopping scum.
Luckily, decades of subtle fucking up have lowered my Xmas expected-performance bar to the general elevation of the Marianas Trench. But I suspect you'll still get (and deserve) more appreciation.
You know, I wish you in my face gays would just do your thing quietly and leave me alone. If you butt breaths want to slober all over each other do it behind closed doors, you make my skin crawl. God didn't make gays, gays made gays.
Lindsay's been waiting for the repeal of DADT so he could legally be Gay.
LEAVE LINDSEY ALONE! AFTER ALL HE'S DONE FOR YOU!
I actually served with Lindsey Graham in the Air Force; prosecuted some cases with him in Europe and took a trip with him to Germany to check out an Army forensics lab, since we were just starting to use lab results in drug prosecutions. He was a really nice, funny guy, then.
I don't know what his orientation is. I'm actually more shocked at how much of an asshole he has turned into, than the possibility that he might be gay.
Well, I've been wondering about that one, so once you have a definitive answer, let us know.
I'm close – tell me what you think so far:
Cunnilingus is best performed by the lipstick lesbian as opposed to males or more masculine lesbians – mainly because they generally have more experience from both sexes at the strip club.
Felatio is best performed by Filipino Baklas or American women who habitually fail at dieting.
It is early, so I have very little research – other than past experience.
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