Christmas Monsters Steal Thousands of Toys From Underprivileged Children
Massachusetts police are investigating the theft of approximately 1,500 "Toys for Tots" toys that were supposed to be delivered to needy children rather than thieved. This comes just days after a similar incident in Maine, in which a shrewd entrepreneur silent-auctioned an entire Toys for Tots warehouse on eBay. C'MON AMERICA. Children are already the most underprivileged and neglected demographic -- the child poverty rate is currently at an incomprehensible twenty percent -- so is it possible maybe not to steal toys from needy children, since most of the poor tykes are literally starving ? Or is that too much to ask? Geezus Christ. Hundreds of years from now, historians will look back and say, "When everyone started stealing Christmas toys from orphans -- that was what made America exceptional. And thank goodness all those greedy fuckers died in a nuclear holocaust." [ Fox News ]
The Senate might actually vote on the totally noncontroversial, should-have-passed-a-million-years-ago START treaty sometime today! Dirty old tortoise Mitch McConnell is not pleased. [ McClatchy ]
What do warmongers want for Christmas? More "Special Operations ground raids across the border into Pakistan’s tribal areas," or so it seems. Ball's in your court, Santa. [ NYT ]
"Are there no prisons?" asked Scrooge. "Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again. "And the Union workhouses?" demanded Scrooge. "Are they still in operation?" "They are. Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were not." "The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?" said Scrooge. "Both very busy, sir." "Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course," said Scrooge. "I'm very glad to hear it."
Actually, I don't know if that was E. Scrooge or Bull O'Really?
Make him feel crabby by covering him w/ crab lice.