Haley Barbour Wants a Piece of That 2012 Segregationist Money

  stromming not stumping

A little pat of segregation on your biscuit never hurt no one.The gay liberal atheist yankee media types who disgrace this fine, white nation are up in arms today over comments Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour made to The Weekly Standard, about how the time when black people didn’t have civil rights wasn’t “that bad” and how white-people Citizens Councils made integration go nice and smooth, like a muskrat pissing a finely brewed sweet tea. Except this is a very revisionist point of view, as the South during the civil rights fight wasn’t exactly peaceful, and Citizens Councils were actually anti-integration organizations that tried to block blacks from exercising their civil rights. But none of this is important. What’s important is that Barbour may run for president, and he just opened the whiskey-soaked wallets of old conservative Southerners for himself and closed them off to Mike Huckabee. You snooze on racism, you lose on racism, Huck!

Barbour’s glossed-over remembrance is a direct appeal to conservative Southerners who were old enough to oppose civil rights for blacks. Barbour didn’t speak highly of the KKK, he spoke highly of a more moderate form of white people wanting to keep things the way they were, which seems pretty fair, in retrospect, compared to lynching non-whites.

It’s a message best delivered from a rocking chair between shots to the spittoon, but a weekly conservative magazine will have to do.

One thing Obama’s presidential campaign showed — in addition to the fact that we can’t trust Kenyan communist men who suddenly show up on stages in local sports arenas — is that people like to feel good during a presidential campaign. For certain voters, it’s the prospect of true, attainable progress. For certain other voters — deep-walleted, with nothing left but to live in the past and sigh at those negruhs dancing in the end-zone in the footbahlll game on the teevee — it’s a chance to relive, and remember with fondness, the days of yore.

And this is why Barbour may prove to be a shrewder politician than Huckabee, and ultimately outflank him on his core groups of supporters. Yes We Can Sort-of-Racism! Barbour 2012! [Weekly Standard]

Related

 
Related video

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

214 comments

  1. GunTotingProgressive

    I didn't hear anything, but my dog's head just shot up and it's almost like he heard something…

  2. SayItWithWookies

    And if we had listened to Haley Barbour in 1948 maybe we wouldn't have had all these problems.

  3. Pragmatist2

    One's perspective on how things were in the 50s in the South apparently depends on what side of the noose you were on.

  4. SorosBot

    There's been a lot of bigotry against various minority groups to report on today at the Wonkette; all we need is anti-Asian racism and overt sexism and we'd have just about every type covered.

  5. Sassomatic

    White Christians are the most discriminated against and persecuted people in America, especially in Mississippi, where they are routinely being punished for not letting black or gay people go proms. Get out of our proms, NOBAMA!

    1. Lost_Teabaggers

      An Louisianna where theyse been pun-ished for inciting racial fights by doing innocent things like hanging a noose on a tree black students like to congregate around because gawd daymit! theyse wanted that their tree for theyselves and them darkies wen an' fukkked it all up!

      1. MaxNeanderthal

        Ah, that'll be Steele, Michael, Esq. that you're looking for…..
        Actually, the juxtaposition of "muskrat pissing sweat" and the picture of that mouth breathing shit-sack brings on the kind of wave of nausea I normally get from a margarita hangover….

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Thune – he's got that skinny, incompetent cracker look down. Or Cantor, as long as he promises to eat pork and not wear that damn beanie under his hat.

        1. Not_So_Much

          He reminds me of a war fill extra with a high collar and the Schutzstaffel lightning bolts on the tunic…

    2. Lost_Teabaggers

      Hey….why are ya'll buggin? David Vitter is the PERFECT Roscoe to Haley's Boss Hogg (especially when you consider Boss Hogg wasn't as evil as Barbour and therefore Vitter's Louisianna Pervert routine would also be a good approximation). Or we could just assume this is the 2010's and wingnut women can be as corrupt and stupid as Southern men so therefore I nominate Sarah Palin as Haley's Coultrane.

  6. Crank_Tango

    I don't know what else we can do for you people. You get everything for free, healthcare, education, everything.

  7. V572625694

    Just Bar-boower's face is the visual equivalent of a dog-whistle — what would that be, a metaphor? A simile? A synechdoche? — for racists.

  8. Ducksworthy

    I want Haley Barbour to be the face and voice and obese body of the image of the new post Michael Steele Rethuglikan party.

    1. Lost_Teabaggers

      Yeah he was RNC chair back in the glorious days when segregation meant "no darkies allowed" in the RNC. Maybe a fat, cartoonesque asshole like Haley is just the tonic white Christ-uns need to wash away the black man heading the GOP blues. By the way, not that I support Steele, he's an idiot but he was also a lot more controversial than Ed "chipmunk face" Gillespie the revolving door lobbyist as helming the GOP….so black buffoonery is more controversial than flat out white corruption?

    1. PuckStopsHere

      Why would this even be a choice? What has happened to this country? When I was a little boy 'Merka went to the place that's going to be all eclipsed and shit tonight. Now, we are–w/o doubt–the dumbest nation on the face of the earth.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        That's what happens when the educated practice birth control and the only ones reproducing in huge numbers are religious fundamentalists, unassimilated immigrants, and people who didn't finish high school.

  9. PhilippePetain

    The best thing that people who don't like Republicans can do to beat the Republicans at the polls is allow them to be elected. It's the only thing that makes Democrats look halfway competent.

    1. chickensmack

      It does cause a problem when a) we have to put up with n years of their inanity, and b) incumbency.

  10. JustPixelz

    If Barbour wants to be a True Conservative, he's gonna hafta start burning Q'urans like they (almost) do in Florida. And shooting Ayatollah Claus, like they do in Texas. And arresting people who look foreign (skin color), like they do in Arizona. Otherwise he's just another Tea Party Liberal.

  11. angryclownspawn

    If Hayley Barbour could just find some way to get guns into the hands of the fetuses the south could rise again.

          1. Negropolis

            Each different yet perfect in its own way.

            Jesus loves the little (white) chidlren, all the (white) children of the world;
            Red (white) and yellow (white), black (black) and white, they are precious in his sight…

  12. LionelHutzEsq

    In other news, Haley Barbour announced that the Germans were just misunderstood during the 30s, and were in fact America's staunches ally in the war against communism. And he cannot see how anyone can be upset with the Japanese, who were just trying to prevent Mao from taking over China.

  13. Blendergoathead

    Can you even get the Weekly Standard in Mississippi? Haley might have shot his wad in the wrong publication. Should've just done an interview on Beck.

  14. EatsBabyDingos

    Being black in Mississippin in 1960 was like being raped in Texas in 1984: You might as well lay back and enjoy it when they put the rope around your neck.

  15. weejee

    ♪♫ When I was young I used to wait
    On master Haley, hand him his plate
    Pass him the bottle when he got dry
    And brush away the blue-state fly

    Chorus
    Haley's crackers form, and Huck don't care
    Haley's crackers form, and Huck don't care
    Haley's crackers form, and Huck don't care
    My master's gone away

    When he would ride in the afternoon
    I'd follow him with my hickory broom
    His elephant being rather shy
    When bitten by the blue-state fly
    Chorus

    One day he ran for Prezziedent
    Flies so numerous 'cause a Haley's vent
    One chanced to bite him on the thigh
    The devil take the blue-state fly
    Chorus

    Well the elephant jumped, he start, he pitch
    He threw Po Haley in the ditch
    Haley's campaign died and they wondered why
    The verdict was the blue-state fly
    Chorus

    Haley lies beneath the 'simmon tree
    His epitaph is there to see
    Beneath this stone I'm forced to lie
    The victim of the blue-state fly ♫♪

  16. LionelHutzEsq

    My money says the winner of the Republican Nomination in 2012 will be the first Conservative to announce that MLK was a commie, and they should rescind his holiday at the same time they rescind the Kenyan's presidency.

    I'm betting on Palin saying this first, but let's face it, they are all just crazy enough to do it.

    1. SorosBot

      That would be the first conservative to call MLK a communist since his death; the dixiecrats called him one all time when he was alive.

      1. Gunner Asch

        My dad was not overtly political, but I remember him scrunching up his face and fervently rasping that King was a "COMMIE!". This would be circa '62 or so. And he was a northerner except for a few years in Florida. With him it was mostly a White Man's Burden kind of racism.

      2. horsedreamer_1

        I thought the accepted talking-point is "Martin Luther King, Jr., was a Republican", to go along with "John F. Kennedy was a supply-sider".

    2. GOPCrusher

      Agreed. Said it before, I'll say it again. It's almost like they see it as a badge of honor to say the most gawd-awful stupidest things. And now it's like they have to top each other.

  17. PublicLuxury

    I agree with Barbour. It wasn't that bad in the good ol' days. . . for Haley Barbour. Things were probably pretty good for the Barbour line way back when. But those uppity urban Negroes went and spoiled it. Now there is one in the White House. The WHITE House. Those urbans don't know their place.

    Viva La Confederacy The South Will Rise Again

  18. hagajim

    Huckabee vs. Haley – or better known as fat ass vs. former fat ass! I really hope Haley runs – just think of all the fat white hillbilly jokes we could make up!

      1. hagajim

        OK – I stand corrected. I didn't know that Huck had been hitting it again because I don't watch enough Fox. So it's now fat ass vs. former fat ass becoming a fat ass again….is that better fellas?

  19. PublicLuxury

    Check out the jowels on that guy. Just wait until Michelle sees those jowels. There goes his Southern Sweet Tea and fried catfish.

  20. nappyduggs

    "What’s important is that Barbour may run for president, and he just opened the whiskey-soaked wallets of old conservative Southerners for himself and closed them off to Mike Huckabee. You snooze on racism, you lose on racism, Huck!"

    When will all of the "rich white dudes with jowls on rich white dudes with jowls" crime cease?

    WHEEEEENNNNNNN?!1/1!?

  21. bitchincamaro2

    This human woopie-cushion didn't think a few million barrels of crude in the Gulf was all "that bad" either. Dingus.

  22. EdFlintstone

    Of course his family changing to republicans in 65 had nothing to do with with the civil rights movement.

    1. mumbly_joe

      Oh, no, of course it did! According to Haley Barbour it was because his generation all stopped being racist all of a sudden, and suddenly became Republicans. You know, just in time to oppose the Civil Rights Act.

      It's, y'know, just a coincidence that Barbour's high school was segregated, and that, not unlike many Southern racists who opposed integration, he too sent his kids to an all-white private school (one that didn't accept their first non-white until the 90's, as a point of fact). It was totally "his generation" that fixed everything, spontaneously.

  23. lochnessmonster

    "nothing left to do but live in the past and sigh at those negruhs dancing in the end-zone in the footbahlll game on the teevee,"

    …those NFL teams are OWNED by fat, old, white dudes

      1. horsedreamer_1

        If it didn't mean having to learn French, I'm sure Rand would end up seeking asylum in Paris after the counterreEVOLution comes.

    1. mumbly_joe

      To be fair, casting a black guy as a Norse god is a rather effective way to give the finger to those white supremacists that love appropriating Nordic paganism as a vehicle for their hate. Hell, it's practically a goddamned litmus test: "Does the prospect of African-American actor Idris Elba being cast as the Norse god Heimdall in the upcoming Thor movie fill you with rage?" There's these fucking klansmen, who are outraged, and everyone else, who really doesn't give a fuck, and also as a side-note, was never actually terribly into Thor.

      There were actually a couple other places that picked up on this "outrage", though, and had an entertaining time contrasting various talking heads' claims that the CofCC isn't insane, and racist, and insanely racist, with the actual things that the CofCC has said, over the years.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Psst. Nobody tell them Idris is not only black skinned, but English. He's one of them funny-talking furriners too.

    2. Chet Kincaid

      It's just another dumb Marvel movie (which of course I must see, for sentimental reasons), but what is the storytelling conceit that allows for black Norse gods? They probably won't even bother to explain it. One theory of fictional gods that I've seen (forgot where) is that gods are created by the people's belief and cease to exist when people stop believing. So why would Nordic types imagine and believe in a black god? (I believe I also saw an Asian actor in the Thor trailer.)

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Not directed at me, but, neither. But, find me at the gym, checking out the nouveau boheme punker-hippy looking gal with half-sleeves & wearing white-piped soccer shorts & periwinkle knee-socks (think: school-girl), &, well…

  24. SilverFox

    a) there's nothing wrong with being whiskey-soaked.

    b) ol' Haley's just learnin' from that there crazy duck lady from Minnesota. Just say crazy shit and the money pours in!

  25. bumfug

    I might worry about Haley Barbour becoming president if I wasn't so sure his fat ass will have a heart attack or at least lose a foot to diabetes well before the election.

  26. MistaEko

    Well the negros wouldn't dance in the endzone IF THE RETARDED WHITE PUNTERS DIDN'T KICK THE FUCKING BALL RIGHT TO THEM WITH 12 SECONDS TO GO I MEAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

    /Fucking Eagles.

  27. genxr

    His hometown was a model of peaceful desegregation. IN 1970!?!! Under a court order, no less. That's when the town turned Republican, because the Democrats were/are all KKK members and the progressive south sat politely and listened to MLK.

    And the civil war wasn't about… oh forget it.

  28. notreelyhelping

    Haley's always had home scent about him that reminds me of the County Clerk in Naked Lunch. Not sure what it is, though. Somethin' in the blood, I reckon.

  29. Gorillionaire

    The funniest part of this is that everyone in Mississippi that even gets hold of a copy of the Weekly Standard will look at the interview and just say out loud "uuuhhh, words, words, words, uhhhh, words…"

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Oh right, like anybody in Mississippi has ever heard of the Weekly Standard. Their reading list trends more toward Highlights for Whitey, TV Guide, Chick tracts, and the Paula Deen cookbook collection.

  30. PublicLuxury

    Segregation Now Segregation forever!

    Haley, git yer homely ass back to the field afor I whoop you.

    Not that bad. What do you think now, Haley?

  31. ChessieNefercat

    This guy is like central casting for fat old white dumb cracker racist. Opening his mouth does nothing to dispel this impression.

    Does he really, really, really, think the great unwashed liberal hordes in those big Yankee cities and fornicating California coastal areas are going to look at a clown who has Foghorn Leghorn as a running mate and say, yeah, that's a guy that understands me?

    1. Rotundo_

      No. But they are counting on every cracker in the country, and they are legion (Barry's election wasn't a landslide despite 8 years of peace and prosperity under W). All they have to do is sucker a few percentage points worth of "centrist" (read dumbass) voters to put Colonel Cracker and $arah or some other idiot in for 8 more years of peace and prosperity, republican style. Never underestimate the stupidity of the american voter, and their undying quest to slit their own throats at the voting booth.

    2. Shar_S

      If it were not for the "white cracker" you would not have a free country to make your prejudice remarks.

    1. Rotundo_

      They'll come out from under your bed when you least expect it and the only thing that will keep us safe is lots of guns and bombs and airplanes and tanks and ships and helocopters and listening to all your phone conversations and reading all your e-mails and yadda yadda yadda…..
      Oh yeah, and electing a nice white republican president.

      Happy Fucking Holidays Katie!

  32. DoktorZoom

    Can't see why anyone would have thought that an organization originally called the White Citizens' Council, and which systematically fought desegregation, was in any way racist or anything. Hey, it's true, they weren't the KKK, so they must have been dandy folks.

    I'm going to remember this in case I ever commit a crime. "Your honor, yes, I may have run over the orphans with my truck…but I didn't lynch anyone."

    1. genxr

      He says the WCC actually fought against the KKK. Hey, this is our town. Them's our darkies! Y'all git outta here now.

    2. SorosBot

      Hey now, the CCC didn't kill "uppity" negroes like the KKK, they just got them fired and made sure they couldn't get a new job and stopped them from getting basic services, and did the same to any "race traitor" non-racist whites who didn't treat the "uppity" like shit. So see, they were moderates!

  33. HoratioGalt

    He is one Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger away from a massive coronary. Boy I wish I could take him out to Jack in the Box. We can even declare our own little "whites only" booth.

  34. Wilcoxyz

    When he goes to KFC, he gets the white meat and the dark meat. Different buckets, but he gets both. So: Not racist, y'all.

  35. Tundra Grifter

    Somehow these occasional comments about how good Black folks had it back whenever would have a smidgeon more credibility if they were ever uttered by an actual ethnic individual. Somehow, it seems they just never are…

    And weren't the White Citizens Council one of the groups ole Trent Lott cozzied up to?

  36. metamarcisf

    Thanks for the link. I went over there and read the whole article. Wow, Haley Barbour has a brother named Jeppie. My daughter's best friend is a girl named Haley. And he knows where his grandparents are buried. Hell, he probably dug the grave. Barbour – Vitter 2012. Sign me up.

  37. Jukesgrrl

    Guv,nah, have another ham biscuit and a big piece of Miss Paula Deen's lard and butter pie. Your convention acceptance speech will be extra-dramatic as you grab your chest and collapse to the floor.

    1. samsuncle

      The Paula Deen reference was great. All her recipes begin with 2 cups of butter followed by bone chilling laughter.

  38. BarackMyWorld

    “I just don’t remember it as being that bad,” he said.

    He then added, "But, of course, I was a white man, so I was less likely to notice discrimination since it wasn't, you know, directed at me."

    1. bflrtsplk

      "And I never heard no black fella complain afta' he was lynched. That rope always looked like a good fit 'round the ol' neck. Nice and tight, y'all."

  39. assistantatlas

    The fact that this greasestain hasn't keeled over from a massive coronary is all the proof I need that God is either a crock of shit, or a sick, evil bastard. And when one considers Pope Ratzi, the latter must now be looked upon as the more probable of the two possibilities.

  40. DashboardBuddha

    “I just don’t remember it as being that bad,”

    And this tub of rancid lard wants to be our next president? Fuck me.

    1. DustBowlBlues

      Don't have time to go to the clip–but was that the show where he claimed that when he attended the University of Mississippi (join me, wonkeratti, in refusing to call it ole miz just to annoy the shit out of Dixieland) there were black students on campus. It was no big deal.

      Of course, he went to his illustrious alma mater two years before it was integrated–by force. Wasn't that Lester Maddox's big show? When he was vying to be more famous dickwad than George Wallace?

      BTW–I'm about to turn in and catch some z'sss before the eclipse. (Must be ready to sing to goddess moon, you know) but something drew me to the wonket. I am so glad. It is great to dump on a state that isn't Oklahoma.

      1. DustBowlBlues

        And that must have been Vicksburt, Washington, where the museum featured the antique photo of slaves laughing, with the caption, "Some slaves were very happy on the plantations"

    1. genxr

      In 1963, Haley Barbour was looking out his window at his peaceful all-white neighborhood and thinking, "What oppression? Everything looks just fine to me."

    1. Negropolis

      Yes, he'll be running as a moderate racist, which practically makes you a liberal in Mississippi. If you're a Democrat or black — actually, those two things are the same thing down there in Missussippu — well, you're just a communist.

  41. weejee

    Absalom, Absalom!

    Haley Barber is the 21st Century's Quentin Compson. Haley, like Ronbo, has perfectly clear view of the mythic past with white folk sitting on a glider on a wide porch and sippin' Coke Cola in a warm summer daze with a gentle breeze carrying the sound of joyous darkies singing gospel.

    1. FlyOverGirl

      All of the more media savvy members are straight out of something by Tennessee Williams. Personally, I think Dems are a little more Stephen Sondheim. Intelligent, clever, overly concerned about being witty…

  42. TanzbodenKoenig

    Today, we all want 2012 segregationist money.

    Because, really, we just need money. Economy sucks, man.

  43. FlyOverGirl

    Has anyone created a fantasy 2012 GOP win site?

    I've got Palin for Prez, NE's racist Guv Heineman for Veep, Barbour for SoS, Ron Paul for Treasury, O'Donnell for the newly created Dept of Match.com, Bachmann for Education, Huckabee for HHS, McCain for DoD, Lindsay Graham for Best Dressed.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Match.com? Not Christian enough. E-Harmony!

      (Even if Dr. Neil Clark Warren caved & started letting homos look for love on his site.)

  44. mrpuma2u

    Still think this guy looks too much like Ron White from the redneck comedy tour to win a Prez nomination. Come to think of it, has anyone actually SEEN Haley Barbour and Ron White in the same room? I didn't think so.

  45. user-of-owls

    Oh heavens, we don't get too many opportunities to pull this bit of historic Wonkettiana back out for display. "Lynching" is the trigger. Old goats, enjoy. Newer pervs, see what vintage Layne and vintage Wonk looks like. Here's the inimitable comment…a comment that will live in infamy…and Ken's lashing response (see UPDATE). Behold!

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
    http://wonkette.com/401586/race-shocker-mccain-ac

  46. BarackMyWorld

    Every time you think Barry's going to have trouble getting re-elected, just look at the Republican frontrunners (i.e. Barbore, Paidlin, Gingrinch, Romneybot, Sanatorium, Applebee's, etc.). Not only will you get a good laugh, but you'll stop worrying so much too.

  47. DustBowlBlues

    I scanned the article, sort of, and if I get the general theme, is that if Huck Finn had been a high-priced lobbyist, he would've been Haley Barbour?

  48. fuflans

    so here's a thing:

    i'm pretty sure after four to eight years of beautiful barry + family, me and maybe others (who vote with our hormones) will NEVER EVER EVER vote for that old fat white dude who looks like a pedaphile uncle.

    not ever.

    have the repubs put that into the calculations?

  49. realmurkin

    What kind of faggy French name is "Haley Barbour", anyway? I don't think those old whiskey-soaked Southerners will support him for preznit with a name like that, regardless of how racist he is.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I don't think the region that brought us politicians with names like Lindsey Graham, Saxby Chambliss, Uvalde Lindsey, DuBose Porter, Virgil Fludd, Verla Insko, Liston Barfield, and Napoleon Bracey — not to mention Basil Marceau and Skoal Rebel — will have any trouble with Haley Barbour.

    2. stew1

      then there's Linsey Graham and that guy from Deliverence–the south is one big gay underground bondage scene. Plus the food is great.

  50. ttommyunger

    Haley comes right out of central casting. Smarmy, lardass southern bigot. Could not put a finer point on it if you tried. I will bet a thousand dollars he does not own a pair of boxers without skidmarks.

  51. Negropolis

    First, they came for the racists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a racist….In fact, I stepped to the side and excitedly pointed out those vile, dirty bastards.

  52. Negropolis

    The ghost of Strom Thurmond is strong with this one…

    Release your hate. Yes, yes, it strengthens you.

  53. inedal

    this guy looks like a big fat pig…and not only that, he is a lobbyist feeding on the filth and swill of K Street.
    yes, he will be perfect GOP candidate for Prez.

  54. Mindblank

    This is a man who keeps his re-enactor's confederate colonel uniform hanging in a secret closet, obviously. Right next to the furry suit.

  55. mumbly_joe

    You know, honestly, to be fair to Mr. Barbour here, you can kinda understand his claims as true, from a certain point of view. After all, the civil rights era was a time of conflict between extremes: on one side, you had people agitating for basic civil rights and human dignities, and on the other side, you had people waging a campaign of violence and domestic terrorism to prevent them from having aforementioned rights and dignities.

    So, therefore, the centrist, and therefore, the only correct and/or politically viable position, is one that's partway between these two extremes and incorporates elements of both. In other words: non-whites still don't get rights, but we'll just enforce it with economic social and institutional discrimination, and a healthy dose of intimidation. And this means that anything good that's happened since then (i.e, desegregation) must have been because of aforementioned "centrists", not those commie civil rights agitators, who somehow hurt their cause more than they helped, by making a fuss. Bipartisanship! No labels!

    1. horsedreamer_1

      So, the 'Joe' of 'Mumbly_Joe' is for Klein?

      I have to ask, then: do you have a sequel to Primary Colours in the works? & will Denzel play Obama in the film version, like Travolta did Clinton? Or, will you look for a cheaper talent (Alphonso Ribeiro, say)?

      1. mumbly_joe

        If only. I wish I had the subtle wit for the sort of biting satire of shallow, unprincipled "centrism"-fetish and reflexive Villager mentality that Jokeline produces on a daily basis.

        I mean, that is satire, right? Guys? Anyone?

        1. horsedreamer_1

          Satire? Hardly.

          & worse: Joe Klein is a moderate-to-conservative bourgeois Democrat (maybe on that last one) who gets called a liberal because he dropped acid a time or three in 1971. But, in reality, he's a Semite P.J. O'Rourke.

  56. Chet Kincaid

    Congratulations, we're using your idea for the next Sprite® ad campaign! Kid Rock's "All Summer Long" will be the soundtrack. As a gesture of our gratitude, we'd like you to intern as our donut-fetcher here at the agency. No pay of course, just the academic credits.

    1. Redhead

      Awww, thanks darlin', but as a good southern girl, I can only accept the offer if I'm fetchin' Krispy Kreme and Cheerwine.

  57. stew1

    Looks uh-like 'ol Boss Hogg has found hizzelf in more trouble than a pile 'o dog poop in a dog poop kickin' contest…

Comments are closed.