breaking the douche line

Senate Votes To Repeal DADT In John McCain’s Face

As part of the repeal, commanders-in-chief will have to carry around a small dog at all times.Hooray, John McCain’s insane Obama-spite mission to keep gay soldiers from admitting they’re gay soldiers is over, because the cloture vote has succeeded on the latest attempt at repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. It is absolutely ridiculous that it took this long for members of our armed forces to attain basic human rights, but you know, good for America, now? John McCain’s tortured arms immediately fell off as he emitted a vicious HENGH, and now he has bitterly departed the Senate with a whoosh of his cape. He’s off to Vietnam to go fight some Reds and get re-captured, because that’s the only kind of military service he knows and is comfortable with. But, of course, Republicans are angrily using this vote as a baseless excuse to block the DREAM Act, because we wouldn’t want to have too many civil rights in a free society such as ours.

“I don’t care who you love,” Senator Ron Wyden, Democrat of Oregon, said as the debate opened. “If you love this country enough to risk your life for it, you shouldn’t have to hide who you are.” [...]

“I’m not here for partisan reasons,” Mr. Levin said. “I’m here because men and women wearing the uniform of the United States who are gay and lesbian have died for this country, because gay and lesbian men and women wearing the uniform of this country have their lives on the line right now.”

This is the great thing about desperately-needed civil rights: It’s impossible to say something in support of them that doesn’t sound really great! Especially after like 17 years of fighting! The immigrants who were hoping to become citizens of the country they love via the DREAM Act will get to know this feeling in 2027, when the DREAM Act finally passes. [NYT]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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365 comments

      1. LetUsBray

        And yet someone should probably reassure the old homophobe that this won't mean some openly gay service member is going to want to drill him in his wrinkled ass. I mean, yuck.

    1. Negropolis

      You know how good it is to say that aloud and it be true? Damned good.

      John McCain can quit, right now, because he's never going to have a more stinging defeat than this; to stand up against a civil rights issue supported not just by this congress but the vast majority of the country and military.

      You lose, John McCain. You lose forever. Any obstructionist shit you do now can never compare what you did, here, today. Your obstructionist bullshit hit a peak, which is the only reason you're in government in the first place. Time to go home, and gnaw on a bunch of lightly-salted armadillo dicks, and crawl back into the hell-hole from wence you came, you half-pint, baby-headed, stubby-armed hell-troll.

      1. brown_recluse

        He may have hit his obstructionist peak, but I don't think he'll stop trying. If we know anything about the man, it's that he doesn't believe in quitting at the top of his game.

        1. Negropolis

          Sadly, you're right. But, at least now he's largely defanged. He just legislated his self into history. He may now be like an incurable venereal disease, but at least we'll be able to treat it.

      1. Negropolis

        He's actually not loved in Arizona, at least not the traditional kind of love. He's kind of begrudingly accepted by his people. Kind of a "well, this is the best we're going to get" type relationship settlement. Even they could tell during this year's primary that he was faking it, but they like him to at least go through the motions. They love him like a junkie loves his equally strung-out girlfriend. It's a pitiful mutual dependency.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          Yes, good analogy. That's definitely the vibe I get, too. People in Arizona cling to the old ideas. It's like moving west was the only big decision they could make and now that they did it, they're through.

          1. Negropolis

            Ha! Good description. I've noticed the same thing about our more recent and western and southern migrations. It used to be way back in the day that folks would move to this areas and create new things and ideas. Their mental progression didn't stop when they physically stopped. Now, it's like people are moving to reinforce failed ideology, that is, if they they get enough of the same-thinking people in one place that that'll bring about the destination they have built in their minds.

    2. elviouslyqueer

      No no. This is bad news for the bag of salted rat dicks that Walnuts is going to be eating forever, also.

  1. Crank_Tango

    I believe technically Joe Lieberman repealed it "all over John McCain's face."

    Suck it walnuts! You could not possibly burn in hell long enough to pay for sticking us with the Alaskunt, so here's wishing you many more embarrassing defeats, you worthless sack of shit.

    1. mayor_quimby

      My feelings exactly. I just watched this shit on CNN on mute, then rewound to make sure it was real.
      My first thought was 'Suck It, McCain!'
      My second thought was how will repubs fuck this shit up with some procedural tactic.

    2. Barbara_i

      I think it's high time that McCain had to walk a mile in their man-clogs and see that they are worthy soldiers. Bah ha ha McCain!

  2. Barry White Zombie

    Oh McCain, it's been obvious that this policy is both immoral and impractical for well over FIVE AND A HALF YEARS by now.

    1. AntonovBureau

      How did he get the name Walnuts? One only has to look at the manly relationships developed over 5 1/2 years in a jungle prison to find out.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I supposed it would be churlish of me to suggest at this moment of civil rights triumph that DADT Repeal never would have even come to a vote if Barry hadn't caved compromised on the tax cut deal, to move on.

      Reps would still be filibustering this, that, or the other thing.

      1. imissopus

        And that it might not have happened if Barry had not kept Vinegar Joe inside the tent after the '08 election instead of punishing him like so many of us wanted. As much as his lack of partisanship and willingness to compromise on things we feel are important might piss us off, he's getting shit done.

        1. Moonbatting Average

          Well said. As someone who wanted the Dems to curb-stomp Lieberman, I might have to grudgingly admit that Barack Obama, his staff, and some Senate Democrats might be smarter than me.

          1. Negropolis

            I think you guys are getting a little ahead of yourselves, here. Obama did what any president would do with someone like Joe, and everyone and their momma knew we'd need a technical sixty votes, if even it didn't work out that way when it came to actually voting. When someone wants to caucus with you, especially one that had a relatively good history with you, who in their right mind would say no? This (having Lieberman caucus with the Dems) wasn't some hard decision or genius strategy, you guys.

      2. ShaveTheWhales

        Well, I will be churlish and point out that there was no actual law of nature that required that DADT had to wait two years to come up for a vote, so that it would be entangled with the billionaire tax-cut thing.

        I spent thirty-some years in the corporatocracy, and a frequently-recurring storyline was:

        1. Management ignores shit
        2. Shit grows to major shit and causes big hole
        3. Management mounts major , highly public, effort to get out of hole
        4. Major effort succeeds (often with the unacknowledged cost of trashing several other lines of work)
        5. Profit (for management, who are hailed as heroes for correcting a problem they caused themselves).

        Sorry, but this last minute pulling-a-couple-of-chestnuts-out stuff is just too fucking familiar.

        1. Negropolis

          for management, who are hailed as heroes for correcting a problem they caused themselves

          THIS is what galls me. The solving of self-created problems or impediments and then taking the credit for being "heroic". It's just plain, utter, rank hypocrisy and deceitful.

        2. imissopus

          Hey, I spent twelve years working in corporatocracies and I've seen that storyline many times too. But our government is a giant bureaucracy so things had to be done a certain way: there had to be a year-long feasability study and upper management had to grandstand and argue and hash over every tiny little possible argument before one side finally won out. It was a slooooow process, but it was methodical enough that everyone got their say, which lends the final product a legitimacy it would not have had if Barry had just suspended DADT by fiat two years ago.

          1. Moonbat

            And if he had suspended DADT by fiat two years ago, there's no way this comes to a vote in the Senate, because half or more of the Senators who voted to repeal it would say "Hey, you just got rid of it. Where's the fire?"

            And then President Romney or Palin or whoeverthefuck would immediately, on taking office, reinstate DADT. Now that can't happen.

  3. gullywompr

    See? Elections do have consequences… Where are Senators O'Donnell, Angle, and Miller when you need them? And just think, the President of the Senate (i.e., Vice President Palin) could have broken the tie-breaker. And FLOTUS Cindy McCain would not now be deprived of that oh-so-stylish NOH8 mouth-tape.

  4. hooray4anything

    I have to say that watching historic votes pass live on TV is fairly boring. Couldn't they spice it up with having each person stand up and say their vote like in the movies? Maybe add some dramatic music, have some Victoria Secret model tally up the vote, or just focus on John McCain's face so we can see the steam come out of his ears live on TV?

      1. Dashboard_Jesus

        damn you had to kill my buzz by mentioning this asshat senator from my home state, the douchebag/ crybaby who had to quit cuz everbody's just so MEAN to each other…and the little pussy basically HANDED his seat BACK to corporate lobbyist whore he BEAT to get in the Senate originally…I hate this fucker with the heat of a thousand subs, and I'm anticipating him being named to be the new spokesmodel/ whore for Anthem/ Wellpoint as soon as his term is 'offically' over…fuck Bayh! (ask me how I REALLY feel!)

        1. Jukesgrrl

          Your indignation is righteous and ever-so-well deserved. And if there is a hell, I trust his wife will join him there.

    1. Rotundo_

      Perhaps the Democratic senators voting for this should have walked en masse toward Walnuts McCrashaplane and shot him the ass in salute. Or just shot him in the ass instead. Now all they have to do is sack the Marine general flapping around hysterically about the consequences of all this and the whole wretched mess will be done. On to Marriage Equality Next! (Then Walnuts head will really blow up!)

  5. ShiftyParadigm

    And of all people to stick it to McCain, it's his good buddy Joe. So much for those late nights and longing glances on the campaign bus.

  6. user-of-owls

    Shouldn't the banner be, "Breaking the Faginot Line"?

    What a gratifying Big Bertha up the butt of this broken dwarf of malice.

    Huzzah, lads, huzzah!

          1. ttommyunger

            British were fond of saying there were only three things wrong with the Yanks; they were overpaid, oversexed and over here.

          2. BerkeleyBear

            Had to do with what the American Expeditionary Force looked like in their greatcoats and spats back in the Great War. Apparently wasn't a very flattering look.

  7. Troubledog

    The fact that Walnuts is a repugnant piece of shit aside, seems ironic that we criticize him for actually representing the wishes of his constituency, who hate the browns and the gays and everyone else.

    1. SharifDelMonte

      How is it ironic to scorn the public face of an electorate's ugly biases? I think the word you want is "proper".

    1. Steverino247

      We've been there all along, too. Although that one really is a choice, not biologically determined.

      As for DADT, I wasn't sure what my penis was for when I was a kid, but I had a pretty good idea it involved girls. When did the Senators who voted against repeal "decide" they were going to be straight?

      1. CZL

        I decided I was going to be straight on July 26, 1993. I was ten. I looked up from reading "The Lord of the Rings" and thought, "hey, ya, boobs, those are for me."

        1. Jason_inthe_Peg

          "“The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, ‘There’s a Chaplain who’s never visited the front.’"

          Kurt Vonnegut in Hocus Pocus

  8. Neilist

    How dare you Communist Pinko Liberal SKUM make fun of John McCain, Real American Hero?

    You have no idea what it was like for him. Shot down behind enemy lines. Captured. Whipped by small, smooth-skinned North Vietnamese who were trying to "turn" him. Seeking comfort in the arms of his "brother aviators" who were waiting their turn, trembling there in the warm, humid, tropic air, despairing that they would never again feel a woman's touch. Gradually realizing that there was a way — the "Navy Way" — to ease their sorr. . . .

    :::Whoops:::

    Neilist
    Lt. Com. USN (ret.)
    Anal Combatant Division
    "In the Navy, In the Navyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . . . ."

    P.s. "Ejection seat" does not mean what you think it does, you PERVERTS.

      1. Neilist

        That's "Capt. Cindy LOU[is] Hensley," U.S.A.F. (ret.), thank you very much.

        (I mean, come on: Even you people must have been a little bit suspicious of THAT level of plastic surgery.)

      1. Neilist

        Keep your sick, disgusting, double entendres to yourself, Sir.

        Captain McCain maintains a "firm grip" on the control "column" of this A-4 Skyhawk of a Nation, dropping his "flaps" only when absolutely necessary to ensure adequate penetration of his "refueling probe" into the "drogue" of a fellow airman with an equally clear "pitot tube" . . .

        (I would write more, but I have to go "wax my wings" . . . .

        1. bagofmice

          It's obvious that Neilist crashed on his fifth entendre, something that McCain would know plenty about.

          1. Neilist

            That was a Dassault-Breguet SUPER Etendard, you Communist Pinko Liberal SKUM:
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dassault-Breguet_Sup

            Just the thing when you're trying to shove an Exocet up the "stern" of the Atlantic Conveyor . . . .

            [Neilist goes for obscure aviation pun! He . . . CRASHES AND BURNS! And John McCain claims another aerial victory!]

          2. DoktorZoom

            Sure, there's the Navy SEALS, but let's not forget the Navy BEARS, who have a preference for Harrier jets.

          3. Neilist

            Lt. McCain would have been a PERFECT Hawker-Siddeley Harassment pilot!

            An aircraft with avionics made by Lucas — the same fine manufacturer responsible for the wet-weather starting capabilities of generations of British automobiles!!!

            And powered by the innovative Pegasus vectored turbofan engine: Useful for melting virtually any runway, and with the infra-red signature of the Hindenburg going up in Lakeshurst, New Jersey — when it bothered to run, that is.

            Yes, as the pilot of a Harrassment, McCain would have become a double ac . . .

            What?

            Oh, a "Harrier."

            Never mind.

          4. ShaveTheWhales

            They actually let the Prince of Darkness do military avionics?

            No wonder the sun set on the fucking Empire.

          5. mayor_quimby

            My hat is off to you sir, your jet-nerdiness is to be worshipped.
            All I can offer is "I think you meant Super Retard".
            Weak sauce, I know.

  9. Plowmon

    I think the Right's frustration with this is they'd rather see a "liberal activist judge makes law from the bench" scenario play out as it's better TV on Fox, gets the Rascal set frothing and fills the warchest…

  10. PublicLuxury

    Non Snark

    I am figthing the biggest lump in my throat and tears a puddling in my eyes. It's about fuckin' time!

        1. Negropolis

          I hearby call this new land The Wolverine Republic. Yep, we have a bad-assed nickname. We'll, at least one of them. It's a helluva lot better than Water-Winter Wonderland.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            "Wolverine Republic" is surely a bad-ass name. But Michigan Staters would be able to reasonably argue that "Spartan Republic" is equally bad-ass.

            I just hope that when the shit goes down, Washington, California, Oregon and British Columbia go ahead and form that "Ecotopia Nation" they promised us years ago.

          2. ChessieNefercat

            I live in the UP. A dear friend from from the south who fled the UP as soon as she could after moving up here referred to it as "winter wonder-hell."

          3. Negropolis

            A real-life Yooper! I only ever hear about you guys in stories down here under the bridge.

            Yeah, I'm not sure if I could handle the 20-foot snowdrifts, that's why the good thing about this state is that you have a whole bunch of different environments.

          4. ChessieNefercat

            Not really a born Yooper. More kind of ended up here (from San Diego). Nice pace. When I occasionally visit rellies else where (downstate, Cleveland!) I get confused by the fancy streetlights and multiple lanes. It is a very different place to be up here, eh? And yes, the 20 foot snowdrifts suck.

  11. johnnyzhivago

    What kind of country is this where a mere 65% of the people can carry the day?

    I am hoping Jim DeMint and other true Americans are working on new ways to insure that at least EVERYONE in the Senate has to agree on ANYTHING before it becomes law. This is what the FOUNDERS wanted. I mean they agreed on everything right, except that John Hancock with his big gay signature.

    I am now switching on Fox News to see what Sarah Palin has to say.

      1. Sparky_McGruff

        Yeah, those republicans hate "activist courts", except for the activist courts who make rules up from scratch to get republicans into office, or give corrupt corporations more power, or smack down the uppity queers.

      1. DashboardBuddha

        Sure, dropping the soap is easy, but dropping the soap dispenser is almost as easy and anyway, it's all the same in the end.

    1. Barbara_i

      I wonder if Todd and Sarah have broken out the therapeutic sock puppets, so that they can ask their son in a soft and soothing voice if any of those Non-Merikan gays forced themselves upon his starfish like that while he was *sniff* bravely serving?

  12. Texan_Bulldog

    I will just say that as a vet (4 years active duty Army), there were gay people everywhere (open showers, bivouacking, in barracks which were always co-ed in my experience) & everyone knew it & no one cared. They were just regular Joes/Janes who put up with the same BS to get the GI Bill or to get out of their one-horse town or to escape jail, and I was more than happy to have their friendship. I grew a little misty-eyed at the vote & I'm very happy, esp. for the gay guys/gals I served with. Huzzah!

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Seriously, I can think of nothing more morale-boosting that a bunch of buff, shirtless homos in a Navy barracks spontaneously bursting out in a rousing version of "There Is Nothing Like a Dame" from South Pacific.

          And I'm straight.

    1. Wadisay

      It's a sad commentary on the state of this goofed up country when you get to be happy about it undoing something that was wrong-headed to begin with. Still, this is probaby as good as it's going to get for the next couple of years, so, yeah, two cheers.

  13. GunTotingProgressive

    If there is a Hell, John McCain will spend it standing at a podium, giving a concession speech for all eternity.

        1. cheaphits

          How appropriate, over-valued, glitzie, poorly thought out and designed (image looks nothing like a grizzly bear) for up to $1,900. I understand these are already in use as the official "flipping coin" to determine which gate of hell you choose.

    1. dr_giraud

      And everything will be a lime-green , and Palin will interrupt him every couple of minutes to ask if it's her turn yet.

  14. Sassomatic

    Did anyone see that pathetic speech he gave before the vote? It was hard to believe he even believed it. He ended by mumbling something about marines in hospitals having no arms or legs. Because nothing will blow off a guys arms and legs like the guy next to him being gay and admitting it.

    1. chicken_thief

      I voted for that motherfucker in the primary in 2000 but wouldn't waste 30 seconds of my precious (beer drinking, porn surfing, Wonkette posting) time watching him now. I salute you for doing what someone had to do and reporting it for us.

  15. Barbara_i

    This is great news for every Major Woody in the armed forces!
    In my best Lou Gehrig voice:
    "I, I, I, consider myself the luckiest woman on the face of that Private"
    Hooray!

    1. ttommyunger

      Brings to mind to story of the WAC who liked popcorn so much she ate it in bed every night. She was occasionally awakened by a Colonel between her legs.

          1. ttommyunger

            The old Women's Army Corps. Marines called them “BAMS”, though not to their face (Big-Assed Marines).

          2. ChessieNefercat

            Really? When I briefly considered the GI Bill many years ago as a way to pay for school, I considered the Marines. I was informed that WMs were called BAMs for "Broad-Assed Marines."

          3. ChessieNefercat

            Oh, I see. Okay then.
            Well, I didn't sign up, but I married the recruiter, and now I have an offspring with a Hawaiian birth certificate. Looks just like the Prez's!

  16. Sassomatic

    OT, but has anyone else fallen into that "sponsored post" trap? Haven't felt this stupid since I made out with that tranny.

    1. x111e7thst

      Oddly enough it is only since I have become old and boring that I have stopped making out with trannys

      1. DoktorZoom

        You know, that tranny hooker is working hard to make a new life for hemself with a degree from a for-profit college, but some want to threaten hir opportunities through onerous new regulations…

  17. metamarcisf

    Now McCain can devote the rest of his life to what he does best: standing on his porch, shaking his fist at passing cars.

    1. 102415

      My God! Did that little fucker McCain turn you in and take your points for some miso soup with crickets on top? Do you need someone to call an ambulance?

      1. Gunner Asch

        Just outa curiosity, is your ID a deliberate reference to Agincourt or was that just a coincidence?

        1. 102415

          Not really, it's a deliberate reference to the time of day I signed up. Just a passing phase of paranoid logins and passwords that made me laugh crazy like over the Gawker mess. My little password book looks like it belongs to Nancy Drew.

      2. Wadisay

        I am sort of curious: in the great pee inflation/deflation, did your pees track the market or go contrarian? I ask because I have a futures contract on them.

    2. 102415

      Oh, now I see why. Nice work! Sometimes they really don't like you and other times it's just meh. The crack about the baby in the manger somehow just confused them.lol
      Well, carry on.

  18. Naked_Bunny

    Homosexuals were forbidden from serving in the military before DADT, so I'm a little unclear on why repealing it lets them in. I'll just assume there's been other changes in the meantime.

    Regardless, congrats to all the gay privates or whatever. I hope this makes your showering more enjoyable since — based on the arguments from DADT supporters I've heard for years — you soldier types spend most of your time wet and soapy.

    1. DoktorZoom

      Technically, DADT was sold as a way to "allow" gays to serve, just as long as no one anywhere in the world knew they were gay. In practice, it was a little more restrictive than that.

    2. vulpes82

      Part of repeal, and why there is a window for "full implementation," is that they now have to go and revise the UCMC.

    3. ShaveTheWhales

      I think it would be more polite to congratulate the entirety of the gay servicemembers, and not just their privates.

      And yes, I know you did that on purpose, as did I.

  19. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hopefully they'll finally do something about those tacky uniforms now.

    Seriously,
    About fucking time.

    1. Gunner Asch

      They're not bad these days. When I first went in we all looked just like Beetle Bailey. Hated that cap.

    2. LionelHutzEsq

      The Marines have pretty nice uniforms, as does the Navy. Army is all right. The Air Force really needs to gay it up though.

      1. ShaveTheWhales

        Yeah. I was briefly in the CF some decades back, and it was bus driver then, and evidently bus driver still. The mess dress was okay.

  20. predilectrix

    "Senate Votes To Repeal DADT In John McCain’s Face," then DADT shakes its booty, and rams itself down his throat.

    No doubt the Fury of the North will tweet how this is refudiatin' the real US troops.

      1. Crank_Tango

        wow, I just pictured one of those hot dogs in the fridge from the day AFTER the cookout, shriveled and kinda burnt. So thanks for that.

  21. marrcus

    President Huckabee will probably veto the DREAM Act in 2027 though. Because he doesn't want those Messicans to steal our jobs, do the lambada with your daughter and make our food all spicy with their juh-lopenos.

    1. Negropolis

      If you think that fat-fuck's gonna be around in 2027, well…what I'm saying is that he's one cheeseburger away from a stroke.

  22. user-of-owls

    It's a shame McCain's arms are more stunted and purely decorative than those of a T-Rex. Otherwise I'd ask Santa to make him bulimic.

    1. Negropolis

      That's a mouthful.

      And, fie on this forum if no one takes that and runs with it. I give and give and give, but no one reciprocates.

      1. Barbara_i

        Whoa, you look familiar. Did you go to Vol State Community College? If so, thanks and have you seen my Dr. Pepper flavored lip gloss anywhere?

    1. Neilist

      ARMY sergeant.

      Army.

      In other words, not some Navy flyboy POW hand-holding fruitcake like John Mc. . . .

      :::Whoops:::

  23. donner_froh

    My brother retired recently from the Army as an E-8, a senior non-com. As someone who enlisted because it was the best choice given to him by a judge, he has always been aware that there are a lot of reasons for a recruit to join the armed service. When I asked him about his feelings regarding DADT he said that if someone wants to get into the Army and is willing to put up with all the difficulties that being a gay soldier (admittedly not his exact words) entail then he is the kind of person the Army needs.

  24. dmcavalier

    As one of Sen. McCain's constituents, can only say that I am truly happy to see him run his true flag up the pole. Now, we know without a doubt that he will lie however he can to get his way; on the campaign trail for his presidential run, he wooed GLBT votes claiming he would consider civil unions for them, and a repeal of DADT. He has now been outed as a LIAR, and I am happy that everyone else gets to see both his faces. It's a sad, sad day for the McCain legacy.

  25. OkieDokieDog

    Glad it passed. Never understood that "not moral enough" to kill for America.

    I'm a big fan of equal rights meaning EQUAL rights.

  26. BarackMyWorld

    That vote seems pretty lop-sided. Are we sure only 31 senators believe that kicking out qualified people from the military because of something that has nothing to do with their job performance is good for military preparedness? With that kind of airtight logic, I'm surprised the vote wasn't closer. This *is* the U.S. Senate we are talking about, after all.

  27. ttommyunger

    Your brother and I served some concurrent decades. Let me just say, some of those faggots will kick your ass if you aren't careful. I remember one saying: "there's only one thing I like better than sucking a dick, and that's fighting." You did not want that fucker pissed at you, I promise. He is not that uncommon. Hope it's not too long before we have the first living gay Medal of Honor recipient. Oh, and Senator McCain, relax; no one wants your white wrinkled saggy ass; no one!

    1. slappypaddy

      my acquaintance with young urban drag queens has taught me there is arguably no one tougher in a fight.

      1. ttommyunger

        I think the cauldron of their childhood experience toughens them and inures them to pain and fear of physical violence.

      2. Jukesgrrl

        I once saw a drag queen attempt to throw her rival through the plate glass window of a diner in Pittsburgh, PA. (Apparently only one person can be fabulous at a time.) I would think that's the kind of energy we'd like to have expended defending our country.

        Hooray to the 65 who voted for repeal and to hell with the rest of you. Now, Joint Chiefs, make the necessary changes … and start with the Marines!

        1. Negropolis

          (Apparently only one person can be fabulous at a time.)

          Sounds like a gay version of Highlander. There can be only one!

    2. BarackMyWorld

      "Hope it's not too long before we have the first living gay Medal of Honor recipient"

      That we know of.

    1. HistoriCat

      For not immediately issuing an Executive Order saying "stop discharges immediately"? After all, the Pentagon gets to decide when and how to undo DADT.

      1. Negropolis

        You know, I'd actually like if Obama would use executive orders more often given his bat-shit insane opposition. It really didn't make sense for Bush to do too many since he actually had Democrats who loved him more than they loved their party, but Obama's dealing with sitting congress-critters who don't even believe he was born in this nation, let alone ones that are hostile to his policies. I'd like this fucker to steamroll me some tea partiers coming into the new year.

        BTW, this is not a criticism of how he handled DADT. I appreciate the work he put it on it. This was more a general tangent of mine. I hope he knows that if he thought the Republicans in the minority in the house were insane, then he knows that they are going to be completely insane in the majority.

        Usually, an opposition actually wants legislative achievements and to get their ideas implemented. THIS Republican Party at this time in our history has stated pretty explicitly that their key goal is to imperile the baic functioning of our current government and its leadership. It's why calling them terrorists don't even a little bit bother me. When you're goal is indiscriminate sabotage and inflicting the greatest amount of fear and pain as humanely possible it's hard to compare you to anything else.

        1. HistoriCat

          Agreed. What's so sad about it is that Obama keeps treating them like reasonable opponents even though McConnell came out and said their only priority for the next two years is his defeat.

          Personally, I would like to see some damn recess appointments. That's hardly an expansion of presidential authority and the Senate has proven they are incapable of actually providing resolution for the appointees.

  28. fuflans

    as a big ole fag hag, me and my girls will be quaffing something potent and pink tonight and raising a glass in wonder to the dem spine, recently discovered.

    you go girls!

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      really, a whole year ago he planned this family get together knowing they 'will not be all together for Christmas'? fuck, I don't decide if I'm gettin' together with my family for Xmas til about a week before, and it's always a toss up even then…this fucker must be a REAL 'Merkan, who celebrates Jebus' birfday real serious like!

  29. chascates

    Matt Drudge couldn't come up with anything other than a small link, 'Don't ask' repeal moves toward law…

    His main hede:
    WINTER SOLSTICE, LUNAR ECLIPSE OVERLAP FIRST TIME IN 456 YEARS

    Which is much bigger news than more civil rights for a group you'd think he felt some kinship with.

  30. arihaya

    soon enough the GOP will claim the repeal as their own success

    and blame Obummer for not passing it fast enough

    1. Cicada

      GOProud has already done this. Yes, they supported McCain, but apparently the very formation of a conservative gay lobby group ascaird the DemonRats sooooo much they had to repeal DADT.

      Conservative gays are so fucking delusional it's not even funny.

  31. Lucidamente1

    McCain’s "off to Vietnam to go fight some Reds and get re-captured, because that’s the only kind of military service he knows and is comfortable with."

    You forgot "and crash his plane, several times, and start a fire on the USS Forrestal."

    1. bflrtsplk

      And run for president and pick a total wastoid for vp, then lose and try to act like he didn't, then vote against repealing DADT. You know that thing about forgetting history blah blah blah…

  32. Zvi_Bleindmeis

    Just for the record, why doesn't the Senate take a re-ratification vote on the Civil Rights Act? I wonder if it could pass 65-31. That would be powerful bipartisanship, if a handful of members of the Party of Lincoln could find their way to vote for equality.

    1. Sparky_McGruff

      Hell, why not have a vote on the 13th amendment? See if the "Party of Lincoln" can still stomach the "end of slavery" thing?

  33. not that Dewey

    I don't have time to read 147 comments right now, so forgive me if this has already been mentioned 146 times, but bukkake.

  34. Negropolis

    For the love of the Plastic Baby Jeebus, can we just have an outright ban of posting pictures of Dubya on here, especially in threads that don't even remotely have anything to do with him? I'm so damned tired of seeing his chimp-mug plastered across this site. It's bad enough that the folks in Dallas still have to put up with his ass, but leave us out of this sadism.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      hey don't be takin' the name of Plastic Jesus in vain, not for Junior's sake at least…it's my birfday week so be nice (or Santa AIN'T comin' to the Negropolis this year!)

    1. DustBowlBlues

      goddam. I waste my day having an insanely fun time doing Xmas shit with my stepdaughter and this happens and I can't celebrate with the wonkeratti because I have crap to do before bed.

      Double bummer: This has inspired the best John McCain jokes ever, and I've only read for a couple of minutes.

      Goddam, but my life is hard.

  35. mourningnmerica

    Look, I have no problem with Walnuts surrounding himself with the type of females that he chooses, because, hey, I would do either his wife or Sarah Palin in a heartbeat. But I do resent his literal cockblocking of our gay friends. Where does he get off? He always parrots the "They're all heroes" mantra. Well then, can't a red blooded American hero suck a little cock, while protecting America from evil? I mean this asshat basically did the Club Med Hanoi route in the war, sipping on tropical drinks and cutting commercials for the VC, while our boys were actually FIGHTING. The incompetent fuck crashed his plane, (by the way, one of five he crashed) almost as soon as he got there. The lazy prick has a lot of nerve. He should relax, sucking dick is in fashion, just like the Twitter, so he should get hip to it..

  36. MistaEko

    How Obama got his Moral Strength Groove Back.

    Everybody get out your cellys and call up Kucinich and explain you're sorry and were really drunk that night.

  37. LionelHutzEsq

    Are we now officially the gayest nation in the world?

    And, I think the Marines might have a point, as it is awfully hard to be combat ready when you are having the buttsex in the showers.

    1. Negropolis

      The Marines would know, too. Oh, and the Navy SEALs. The sexual tension is so thick in those barracks you could drink it from a dirty mug. And, no, that's not a double entendre…unless you want it to be, and I will not protest.

      1. thebeatgoeson08

        "The new Marine motto: “The Few, the Proud, the Sexually Twisted.” Good luck selling that to strong young males who would otherwise love to defend their country. What virile young man wants to serve in a military like that?"
        "What young man wants to voluntarily join an outfit that will force him to shower naked with males who have a sexual interest in him and just might molest him while he sleeps in his bunk?"
        Aunt Bryan sounds like he's a-hopin' and a-wishin'…

        1. vulpes82

          That's been the unofficial motto for forever. They ain't called the Fightin' Faggots for nothing, people! The only reason the Marines were the service with the highest level of resistance to repeal in that survey was because if gays could serve openly, it would take the thrill out of their shower orgies.

          Seriously, though, my gay mentor/guru is a Marine, and "sexually twisted" doesn't even begin. And from his stories, it's not like he was unique!

        2. PresBeeblebrox

          Dude obviously knows nothing of the ghey aesthetic. Someone send him some Marine pr0n and a Tom of Finland book, stat.

          Needs moar Muscular Christ, by the way.

    1. Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Was that the guy talking on NPR? They had someone from something like that commenting. I was thinking it was dumb, as they should have someone from the American Military Association speaking or something, as families don't get a say in what the Marines invade.

    2. DoktorZoom

      Ah, yes, all the other militaries that allowed gays to serve have had not problems, but only because the US didn't. Because of Jesus Magic, which apparently will no longer work.

    3. cheaphits

      The GOP platform is plain and unambiguous:

      “Esprit and cohesion are necessary for military effectiveness and success on the battlefield. To protect our servicemen and women and ensure that America's Armed Forces remain the best in the world, we affirm the timelessness of those values, the benefits of traditional military culture, and the incompatibility of homosexuality with military service.”

      Like most of the Republican platform, it is simply wrong and outdated.

      Republicans=Repression

    4. PresBeeblebrox

      It's hard to know where to start with this one, but I'll try. Remember that part of the Constitution where it says a supermajority is needed to pass all legislation, forever? Bryan "Anal" Fissure does, because Jesus told him the Founding Fathers wanted it.

      "The Saturday morning cloture vote on the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was the critical vote. It needed 60 votes and got 63, because of Republican renegades Scott Brown, Mark Kirk, George Voinovich, Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe. If these traitors to national defense had voted in line with the Republican Party platform, the cloture motion would have received just 57 votes and would have failed. 

  38. donner_froh

    How did the disgusting Fellowship Freak chief-of-staff wife banging and all around sleazehound John Ensign (Retard-NV) wind up on the right side of the DADT repeal?

    Especially since the rest of the boyz in the C Street hideout of The Family are behind imposing the death penalty on gay men and women in Uganda?

  39. DustBowlBlues

    Even better day–DADT repealed, I have insanely fun time with my kids and I have 6 more pees than yesterday!!!! God Bless us, everyone and to all a good night.

    1. Negropolis

      The sad thing is that somewhere in the US America, an assortment of Republicans are screaming those exact words into the dark, cold night.

      I read some article, today, where some high-ranking officer was making the oft-used "this will be a distraction, and we don't need a distraction while at war" argument. Yes, military contractors are robbing us blind and shooting up innocent civilians in Iraq making our soldiers much less safe, but some dude revealing his orientation is going to be a distraction. Yes, soldiers are being electrocuted in poorly wired bathroom showers, but an out lesbian will be the downfall of our hopeless occupations and Western Civilization as we know it.

      They had to put up with the blacks, but now the gays, too? Someone get these dandy military gentlement their smelling salts, 'cause they're getting' the vapors. Who next, the Jews? Say what? They've been serving for forever? **lifeless bodies hit the floor**

      1. bagofmice

        Hell, they might even find out they are serving with some (god forbidding) atheists! In the foxhole!

      2. PresBeeblebrox

        It all went downhill when that hippie Truman crammed and rammed Negro soldiers down our throats.

        “Esprit and cohesion are necessary for military effectiveness and success on the battlefield. To protect our servicemen and women and ensure that America's Armed Forces remain the best in the world, we affirm the timelessness of those values, the benefits of traditional military culture, and the incompatibility of integrated troops with military service.”

        There. Fixed.

    2. glamourdammerung

      Since Palin was shrieking about that with the tax cut capitulation, I kind of expect to hear that exact statement if I were the sort that could stomach television pundits.

      1. Negropolis

        Has Sister Sarah been heard saying ANYTHING, yesterday? If not, that would be a red letter day. Her followers must be freaking the fuck out, because they don't even know how to breath properly or relieve themselves without her telling them how to do it.

        Only two things keep her supporters in motion/animated:

        1. That there is a black man in the White House

        2. Whatever Sarah Palin has to say about that black man in the White House

        Maybe, it's three things, because I'm sure Walmart's everday low prices also have some effect on their movement.

  40. Radiotherapy

    So glad to see that our gay friends will be able to openly reap the benefit of our constitutionally guaranteed socialistic program, i.e.the military. I hope all the gay folks are also enjoying their Repub tax cuts this Soltice Season as well.

    1. DCHatesMe

      Considering that the entire US economy is based on government businesss, aka, charity .. and every important government person is, after all, a lowly civil servant .. and every wealthy person, but a grubbing parasite .. it's not a bad thing to get.

  41. imissopus

    From the WaPo account of the vote today:

    The loss of Republican votes, no doubt, made McCain even angrier. When it came time for his closing argument before the day's key vote, McCain spoke for only a few seconds: "Today's a very sad day. The commandant of the United States Marine Corps says when your life hangs on the line, you don't want anything distracting. . . . I don't want to permit that opportunity to happen and I'll tell you why. You go up to Bethesda Naval Hospital, Marines are up there with no legs, none. You've got Marines at Walter Reed with no limbs."

    McCain turned and, without another word, walked into the cloakroom.

    If not for the homos, those Marines would still have their legs! Repeal the repeal!

    Someone needs to give WALNUTS! his meds and wheel him back to his room.

    1. x111e7thst

      Hey Walnuts-at least one of those Marines with missing limbs at Bethesda Naval Hospital is gay. So Fuck-You-Very-Much. Asswipe.

    2. finallyhappy

      I was going to mention his idiotic remark especially because about an hour ago in silver spring- about 5 minutes from Walter Reed- I saw a soldier- double amputee – in a wheelchair with family/friends looking at the newly opened ice rink. He was smiling and I'm positive he was not thinking "damn. the gays caused me to lose my legs and now they can serve openly in the military. I'm angry". I see guys all the time in Silver Spring and Wheaton sometimes in groups/ sometimes with a significant other- who were badly hurt and are now at Walter Reed(and I see many more of them than that POS mcCain). And I bet all these men and women together don't have as much hatred as fucking stupid McCain

      1. imissopus

        I've since read that Gen. Amos, the Marine commandant who opposed repeal, said something similar this week. So it's obviously one of those memes these guys have come up with in their desperation. I'm thinking Gen. Amos needs to join WALNUTS! in the day room of the nursing home for bigoted old soldiers that history has passed by.

    3. HistoriCat

      At first I read McCain's quote and thought "when did he lose his legs?" Then the answer was obvious:

      FIVE AND HALF YEARS AGO.

    4. ShaveTheWhales

      I wonder if there are any Republican voters in Arizona who will even notice how stupid this man is. I mean, you can actually deconstruct his statement:

      Q. How do you get multi-limbless Marines?
      A. (1) Explosions; (2) aircraft crashes; (3, rarely) heavy machinegun fire.

      Q. In Irag/Afghanistan, where do you find explosions affecting Marines?
      A. (1) IEDs; (2) RPGs; (3) friendly fire.

      Q. In what way would the "distraction" of knowing officially that a fellow Marine is gay (something you almost certainly already know) increase your exposure to IEDs, RPGs, or crashes?
      A. Fuck you, John McCain.

  42. _MISS_T_

    Total enjoyment can only be had by perusing the far right blogosphere for lunatic commentary. Not to be missed.

    1. Negropolis

      Crazy, there is not a single post on the front page of RedState about DADT. Only thing on it is how the Dems killed the DREAM Act. lol

  43. LionelHutzEsq

    I just looked at the NYT's graphics on this. Orin Hatch did not vote on DADT repeal.

    Orin Hatch, Secret Gay Champion?

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Naw … he probably isn't any fun at Christmas. Forgets that he bought the same gifts last year, thinks Santa is a goddam lib'rul, and he'll be mean to Cindy's hairdresser at the party.

  44. Steverino247

    Hey, John! You've got Marines with no limbs because you voted to authorize war powers for a man who lied about YOU in order to get those war powers. You had personal and no doubt painful knowledge of exactly what he would do to get to the White House and went along with it anyway. SO, FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! You don't get to complain when you're responsible.

  45. transfatz

    John McCain had DADT in his face. I hate it when that happens. Then it got repealed? That's good isn't it?

  46. doxastic

    I would be more psyched, but the "private career college" propaganda everywhere is putting a damper on things. Wonkett can take their ad money just so long as we're clear that those schools are scams. They're the cash-4-gold of higher ed.

  47. Redhead

    McCain was just mad that DADT was argued for longer than FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! How dare those pesky gays show him up!

  48. lochnessmonster

    There is this nut who keeps calling in to @cspanwj in the mornings saying that the gays will molest straight men in the barracks if they all get a little drunk.

    1. Crank_Tango

      yeah ya know, I think that if you're worried about not being able to stop yourself from getting gay molested, you're not actually straight.

      Is that what everyone is afraid of–we're not all as straight as we pretend?

  49. bitchincamaro2

    It's hard to recall the last time congress passed a bill that didn't have corporate money and cum smeared all over it. Could this be the first time in a long time?

  50. elpinche

    I get it…I get it. The domestic animal motif.
    BTW.. Numbat_Dundee said everything that needs to be said about the DADT victory.

  51. weejee

    Hurray!

    And to give John McShame a little tender Christmas goose, how about at the remaining holiday parties to make sure to put walnuts in yer fruit salad.

  52. BarackMyWorld

    Someone tell me what I am missing here.

    The Republicans just gained massive victories in the midterm elections, but I can't think of a single individual policy they support that has popular support. That'd seem to indicate that what happened was a vote against Obama, not a huge public mandate for their party, because they've defined themselves based entirely on what they are against instead of what they are for.

    Despite this, the Republicans are acting like they are popular again and doing whatever the hell they want.

    Again….what am I missing?

    1. dyedwool

      That the Republicans are douchey and the American Voting Public is retarded?

      Nah, you can't be missing that. Too obvious.

      I'm stumped then.

    2. obfuscator2

      it's pure electoral politics: what will nobamar do today? oppose whatever it is by calling it socialisms and against america's founding constitution fathers jesus capitalisms lather rinse repeat as needed.

      this strategy is dependent on the willful ignorance of the average american voter. it's working so far. the mainstream media coverage of the repeal will be mostly positive; i can't wait to see how fox and the rest of the fucktards spin it.

    3. fishskicanoe

      Naw. The American public is lazy. They want someone to fix their problems for them… at no cost or trouble to themselves. So they gave Barack a couple of months to fix it for them and then got all hissy when he didn't. Now they'll give the Koch brothers and Boehnhead a couple months and when that doesn't work out they'll stand around and scratch their asses and wonder who to blame next and who to pick to clean up their messy diapers for them. Heaven forfend that they learn to go potty and wipe their asses like the rest of the world.

    4. Negropolis

      This is werid, because I've heard Boehner tell Republicans more than once that they aren't anymore popular than the Democrats. Apparently, a lot of folks in the GOP haven't gotten the message.

      Our politics are just FUBAR, these days. Neither side knows what is up and what is down, anymore. In fact, the message sent on election day is even more convoluted in that those who decided to vote let the GOP win the House, but held them back from winning the Senate. Maybe, it's chalked up to what/who was and wasn't exposed.

      If nothing else can be gleaned from this it is that Republicans thrive in chaos. It's strange because they used to be seen as a party that thrived in, and brought, stability. Now, they win when they can set more fires than the Democrats can put out.

  53. PresBeeblebrox

    Heh. Admiral Cain was queer as frack and she cold murdered everyone on the Scylla and stripped their FTL drive. Oh, wait… wrong military.

    Srsly, I never could figure out what the hell was so bad about ghey soldiers…

  54. VespulaMaculata

    Now, if this is coupled in the forthcoming week with perhaps Darth Vader or Battleax Babs dropping dead, I may be forced into believing in Santa Claus again.

    …Or a just God.

    1. Rotundo_

      Oh hell, let's hope for a trifecta on those three, this was a good week: Beautiful Minded Babs stroking out would make the month, Dickles the Heartless keeling over would make the quarter for karma distribution in political circles.

  55. zhubajie

    Would any smart person, gay or straight, join the military? If they weren't avoiding something worse? The state of the government has gotten so bad that I find it hard to believe any honorable person serving it voluntarily.

  56. Chet Kincaid

    I'm just glad I don't have to listen to any fucking libtards railing against Obama for not getting this done, even though, surprise, it actually takes more than one branch of government to make changes that really stick. This beats getting hit over the head by the wingnuts about a "dictatorial" DADT executive order.

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