breaking the douche line

Senate Votes To Repeal DADT In John McCain’s Face

As part of the repeal, commanders-in-chief will have to carry around a small dog at all times.Hooray, John McCain’s insane Obama-spite mission to keep gay soldiers from admitting they’re gay soldiers is over, because the cloture vote has succeeded on the latest attempt at repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. It is absolutely ridiculous that it took this long for members of our armed forces to attain basic human rights, but you know, good for America, now? John McCain’s tortured arms immediately fell off as he emitted a vicious HENGH, and now he has bitterly departed the Senate with a whoosh of his cape. He’s off to Vietnam to go fight some Reds and get re-captured, because that’s the only kind of military service he knows and is comfortable with. But, of course, Republicans are angrily using this vote as a baseless excuse to block the DREAM Act, because we wouldn’t want to have too many civil rights in a free society such as ours.

“I don’t care who you love,” Senator Ron Wyden, Democrat of Oregon, said as the debate opened. “If you love this country enough to risk your life for it, you shouldn’t have to hide who you are.” […]

“I’m not here for partisan reasons,” Mr. Levin said. “I’m here because men and women wearing the uniform of the United States who are gay and lesbian have died for this country, because gay and lesbian men and women wearing the uniform of this country have their lives on the line right now.”

This is the great thing about desperately-needed civil rights: It’s impossible to say something in support of them that doesn’t sound really great! Especially after like 17 years of fighting! The immigrants who were hoping to become citizens of the country they love via the DREAM Act will get to know this feeling in 2027, when the DREAM Act finally passes. [NYT]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  • gullywompr

    This is good news for everybody but John McCain.

    • hooray4anything

      Oh, it'll be somehow. Don't you worry

    • http://drinkiesinthe253.blogspot.com/ drrty_martini

      It feels good to say this: Fuck John McCain.

      • LetUsBray

        And yet someone should probably reassure the old homophobe that this won't mean some openly gay service member is going to want to drill him in his wrinkled ass. I mean, yuck.

      • bflrtsplk

        John McCain says he's free today after the 'Skins game.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Maybe Cindy will put out tonight.

      Not necessarily to him of course.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Isn't the the heiress to a beer bottle fortune?

    • MistaEko

      Hours later, Mark Kirk took the floor and asked him "Did you just lose?"

    • Negropolis

      You know how good it is to say that aloud and it be true? Damned good.

      John McCain can quit, right now, because he's never going to have a more stinging defeat than this; to stand up against a civil rights issue supported not just by this congress but the vast majority of the country and military.

      You lose, John McCain. You lose forever. Any obstructionist shit you do now can never compare what you did, here, today. Your obstructionist bullshit hit a peak, which is the only reason you're in government in the first place. Time to go home, and gnaw on a bunch of lightly-salted armadillo dicks, and crawl back into the hell-hole from wence you came, you half-pint, baby-headed, stubby-armed hell-troll.

      • brown_recluse

        He may have hit his obstructionist peak, but I don't think he'll stop trying. If we know anything about the man, it's that he doesn't believe in quitting at the top of his game.

        • Negropolis

          Sadly, you're right. But, at least now he's largely defanged. He just legislated his self into history. He may now be like an incurable venereal disease, but at least we'll be able to treat it.

    • DustBowlBlues

      That's John "Seven and a Half Years" McCain to you, sir.

    • AntonovBureau

      Except in Arizona, where Walnuts is luved by bigots everywhere.

      • Negropolis

        He's actually not loved in Arizona, at least not the traditional kind of love. He's kind of begrudingly accepted by his people. Kind of a "well, this is the best we're going to get" type relationship settlement. Even they could tell during this year's primary that he was faking it, but they like him to at least go through the motions. They love him like a junkie loves his equally strung-out girlfriend. It's a pitiful mutual dependency.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Yes, good analogy. That's definitely the vibe I get, too. People in Arizona cling to the old ideas. It's like moving west was the only big decision they could make and now that they did it, they're through.

          • Negropolis

            Ha! Good description. I've noticed the same thing about our more recent and western and southern migrations. It used to be way back in the day that folks would move to this areas and create new things and ideas. Their mental progression didn't stop when they physically stopped. Now, it's like people are moving to reinforce failed ideology, that is, if they they get enough of the same-thinking people in one place that that'll bring about the destination they have built in their minds.

    • elviouslyqueer

      No no. This is bad news for the bag of salted rat dicks that Walnuts is going to be eating forever, also.

  • Crank_Tango

    I believe technically Joe Lieberman repealed it "all over John McCain's face."

    Suck it walnuts! You could not possibly burn in hell long enough to pay for sticking us with the Alaskunt, so here's wishing you many more embarrassing defeats, you worthless sack of shit.

    • mayor_quimby

      My feelings exactly. I just watched this shit on CNN on mute, then rewound to make sure it was real.
      My first thought was 'Suck It, McCain!'
      My second thought was how will repubs fuck this shit up with some procedural tactic.

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        MSNBC spent about 30 minutes on the matter before returning back to prison porn.

        • mayor_quimby

          Those prisoners ain't gonna rape themselves, after all.

    • Barbara_i

      I think it's high time that McCain had to walk a mile in their man-clogs and see that they are worthy soldiers. Bah ha ha McCain!

    • 738838

      So Crank, what do you really think?

  • Barry White Zombie

    Oh McCain, it's been obvious that this policy is both immoral and impractical for well over FIVE AND A HALF YEARS by now.

    • AntonovBureau

      How did he get the name Walnuts? One only has to look at the manly relationships developed over 5 1/2 years in a jungle prison to find out.

  • Moonbatting Average

    65-31, done deal!

    • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

      I supposed it would be churlish of me to suggest at this moment of civil rights triumph that DADT Repeal never would have even come to a vote if Barry hadn't caved compromised on the tax cut deal, to move on.

      Reps would still be filibustering this, that, or the other thing.

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        And that it might not have happened if Barry had not kept Vinegar Joe inside the tent after the '08 election instead of punishing him like so many of us wanted. As much as his lack of partisanship and willingness to compromise on things we feel are important might piss us off, he's getting shit done.

        • Moonbatting Average

          Well said. As someone who wanted the Dems to curb-stomp Lieberman, I might have to grudgingly admit that Barack Obama, his staff, and some Senate Democrats might be smarter than me.

          • Negropolis

            I think you guys are getting a little ahead of yourselves, here. Obama did what any president would do with someone like Joe, and everyone and their momma knew we'd need a technical sixty votes, if even it didn't work out that way when it came to actually voting. When someone wants to caucus with you, especially one that had a relatively good history with you, who in their right mind would say no? This (having Lieberman caucus with the Dems) wasn't some hard decision or genius strategy, you guys.

      • hooray4anything

        It's all about the long game. And sometimes the maybe too game.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Well, I will be churlish and point out that there was no actual law of nature that required that DADT had to wait two years to come up for a vote, so that it would be entangled with the billionaire tax-cut thing.

        I spent thirty-some years in the corporatocracy, and a frequently-recurring storyline was:

        1. Management ignores shit
        2. Shit grows to major shit and causes big hole
        3. Management mounts major , highly public, effort to get out of hole
        4. Major effort succeeds (often with the unacknowledged cost of trashing several other lines of work)
        5. Profit (for management, who are hailed as heroes for correcting a problem they caused themselves).

        Sorry, but this last minute pulling-a-couple-of-chestnuts-out stuff is just too fucking familiar.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Oh, so very true (18 years in that same trench).

        • Negropolis

          for management, who are hailed as heroes for correcting a problem they caused themselves

          THIS is what galls me. The solving of self-created problems or impediments and then taking the credit for being "heroic". It's just plain, utter, rank hypocrisy and deceitful.

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          Hey, I spent twelve years working in corporatocracies and I've seen that storyline many times too. But our government is a giant bureaucracy so things had to be done a certain way: there had to be a year-long feasability study and upper management had to grandstand and argue and hash over every tiny little possible argument before one side finally won out. It was a slooooow process, but it was methodical enough that everyone got their say, which lends the final product a legitimacy it would not have had if Barry had just suspended DADT by fiat two years ago.

          • Moonbat

            And if he had suspended DADT by fiat two years ago, there's no way this comes to a vote in the Senate, because half or more of the Senators who voted to repeal it would say "Hey, you just got rid of it. Where's the fire?"

            And then President Romney or Palin or whoeverthefuck would immediately, on taking office, reinstate DADT. Now that can't happen.

  • gullywompr

    See? Elections do have consequences… Where are Senators O'Donnell, Angle, and Miller when you need them? And just think, the President of the Senate (i.e., Vice President Palin) could have broken the tie-breaker. And FLOTUS Cindy McCain would not now be deprived of that oh-so-stylish NOH8 mouth-tape.

  • hooray4anything

    I have to say that watching historic votes pass live on TV is fairly boring. Couldn't they spice it up with having each person stand up and say their vote like in the movies? Maybe add some dramatic music, have some Victoria Secret model tally up the vote, or just focus on John McCain's face so we can see the steam come out of his ears live on TV?

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Ha! And I think the Capitol medics need to check to see if Evan Bayh even has a pulse.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        damn you had to kill my buzz by mentioning this asshat senator from my home state, the douchebag/ crybaby who had to quit cuz everbody's just so MEAN to each other…and the little pussy basically HANDED his seat BACK to corporate lobbyist whore he BEAT to get in the Senate originally…I hate this fucker with the heat of a thousand subs, and I'm anticipating him being named to be the new spokesmodel/ whore for Anthem/ Wellpoint as soon as his term is 'offically' over…fuck Bayh! (ask me how I REALLY feel!)

        • Jukesgrrl

          Your indignation is righteous and ever-so-well deserved. And if there is a hell, I trust his wife will join him there.

    • Rotundo_

      Perhaps the Democratic senators voting for this should have walked en masse toward Walnuts McCrashaplane and shot him the ass in salute. Or just shot him in the ass instead. Now all they have to do is sack the Marine general flapping around hysterically about the consequences of all this and the whole wretched mess will be done. On to Marriage Equality Next! (Then Walnuts head will really blow up!)

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      or just focus on John McCain's face so we can see the steam come out of his ears

      His ears if he's lucky….

      • LetUsBray

        His ears if WE're lucky!

  • ShiftyParadigm

    And of all people to stick it to McCain, it's his good buddy Joe. So much for those late nights and longing glances on the campaign bus.

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      It looked like Aunt Lindsey was pretty miffed off, too.

      • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

        The old-man three-way hate fuck they're going to have after this is going to be
        epic.

        An epic of grossitude, that is.

        • Sophist FCD

          The Grand Old [lemon] Party.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    I TIVO'd the vote; don't tell me who won.

  • widestanceroman

    This is a buttfuckin' big deal.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Assume the position!

  • user-of-owls

    Shouldn't the banner be, "Breaking the Faginot Line"?

    What a gratifying Big Bertha up the butt of this broken dwarf of malice.

    Huzzah, lads, huzzah!

    • ttommyunger

      That's SENATOR Dwarf of Malice to you, sir!

      • Angry_Marmot

        Is this what the doughboys mean by "Going Over the Top"?

        • ttommyunger

          Never figured out that “Doughboys” moniker.

          • bagofmice

            I think it was a european reaction to seeing so many americans for the first time.

          • ttommyunger

            British were fond of saying there were only three things wrong with the Yanks; they were overpaid, oversexed and over here.

          • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

            Give me New York gangs over London yobs any day.

          • ttommyunger

            I'll give you both, I'm a country boy.

          • BerkeleyBear

            Had to do with what the American Expeditionary Force looked like in their greatcoats and spats back in the Great War. Apparently wasn't a very flattering look.

          • ttommyunger

            Sounds reasonable.

  • Troubledog

    The fact that Walnuts is a repugnant piece of shit aside, seems ironic that we criticize him for actually representing the wishes of his constituency, who hate the browns and the gays and everyone else.

    • ttommyunger

      Including and especially themselves.

    • SharifDelMonte

      How is it ironic to scorn the public face of an electorate's ugly biases? I think the word you want is "proper".

  • rocktonsam

    Can we haz atheists in the foxhole now too?

    • Steverino247

      We've been there all along, too. Although that one really is a choice, not biologically determined.

      As for DADT, I wasn't sure what my penis was for when I was a kid, but I had a pretty good idea it involved girls. When did the Senators who voted against repeal "decide" they were going to be straight?

      • CZL

        I decided I was going to be straight on July 26, 1993. I was ten. I looked up from reading "The Lord of the Rings" and thought, "hey, ya, boobs, those are for me."

        • Jason_inthe_Peg

          "“The sermon was based on what he claimed was a well-known fact, that there were no atheists in foxholes. I asked Jack what he thought of the sermon afterwards, and he said, ‘There’s a Chaplain who’s never visited the front.’"

          Kurt Vonnegut in Hocus Pocus

  • Neilist

    How dare you Communist Pinko Liberal SKUM make fun of John McCain, Real American Hero?

    You have no idea what it was like for him. Shot down behind enemy lines. Captured. Whipped by small, smooth-skinned North Vietnamese who were trying to "turn" him. Seeking comfort in the arms of his "brother aviators" who were waiting their turn, trembling there in the warm, humid, tropic air, despairing that they would never again feel a woman's touch. Gradually realizing that there was a way — the "Navy Way" — to ease their sorr. . . .

    :::Whoops:::

    Neilist
    Lt. Com. USN (ret.)
    Anal Combatant Division
    "In the Navy, In the Navyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . . . ."

    P.s. "Ejection seat" does not mean what you think it does, you PERVERTS.

    • rocktonsam

      but he did get to marry Cindy

      • Neilist

        That's "Capt. Cindy LOU[is] Hensley," U.S.A.F. (ret.), thank you very much.

        (I mean, come on: Even you people must have been a little bit suspicious of THAT level of plastic surgery.)

      • bumfug

        I think he and Cindy both were fucking guys from Whitesnake.

    • EdFlintstone

      What about a cockpit?

      • Neilist

        Keep your sick, disgusting, double entendres to yourself, Sir.

        Captain McCain maintains a "firm grip" on the control "column" of this A-4 Skyhawk of a Nation, dropping his "flaps" only when absolutely necessary to ensure adequate penetration of his "refueling probe" into the "drogue" of a fellow airman with an equally clear "pitot tube" . . .

        (I would write more, but I have to go "wax my wings" . . . .

        • bagofmice

          It's obvious that Neilist crashed on his fifth entendre, something that McCain would know plenty about.

          • Neilist

            That was a Dassault-Breguet SUPER Etendard, you Communist Pinko Liberal SKUM:
            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dassault-Breguet_Sup

            Just the thing when you're trying to shove an Exocet up the "stern" of the Atlantic Conveyor . . . .

            [Neilist goes for obscure aviation pun! He . . . CRASHES AND BURNS! And John McCain claims another aerial victory!]

          • DoktorZoom

            Sure, there's the Navy SEALS, but let's not forget the Navy BEARS, who have a preference for Harrier jets.

          • Neilist

            Lt. McCain would have been a PERFECT Hawker-Siddeley Harassment pilot!

            An aircraft with avionics made by Lucas — the same fine manufacturer responsible for the wet-weather starting capabilities of generations of British automobiles!!!

            And powered by the innovative Pegasus vectored turbofan engine: Useful for melting virtually any runway, and with the infra-red signature of the Hindenburg going up in Lakeshurst, New Jersey — when it bothered to run, that is.

            Yes, as the pilot of a Harrassment, McCain would have become a double ac . . .

            What?

            Oh, a "Harrier."

            Never mind.

          • ShaveTheWhales

            They actually let the Prince of Darkness do military avionics?

            No wonder the sun set on the fucking Empire.

          • mayor_quimby

            My hat is off to you sir, your jet-nerdiness is to be worshipped.
            All I can offer is "I think you meant Super Retard".
            Weak sauce, I know.

          • mayor_quimby

            Also, the wikipedia post says French Navy
            That's funny.

        • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

          "Tailhook" is the anal analog of vagina dentata.

          Walnuts puts the ANAL in ANALOGY.

        • Beowoof

          I am sure in the Navy is where McCain mastered the art of snorkeling Eric Massa style.

        • 738838

          More like wax the dolphin!

    • zhubajie

      I can't believe you were ever in the Navy. Maybe Sea Scouts.

      Zhu Bajie, AQ3 (ret)

      • Neilist

        Only the Siamese Navy . . . .

  • DCHatesMe

    It's a good day .. now let's go fight some bugs!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIsv1YOFNys

    • slappypaddy

      a touch north korean, but nonetheless perfect.

  • Plowmon

    I think the Right's frustration with this is they'd rather see a "liberal activist judge makes law from the bench" scenario play out as it's better TV on Fox, gets the Rascal set frothing and fills the warchest…

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    This is good news for…ah fuck it. On…er, in your face, McCain.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    By the way Jack, the linked story is for the actual vote to repeal, not the cloture vote.

  • PublicLuxury

    John McCain's co-pilot just landed the airplane all by himself.

    • Beowoof

      Gliding in for a smooth touchdown on a spot the size of a rosebud.

  • PublicLuxury

    Non Snark

    I am figthing the biggest lump in my throat and tears a puddling in my eyes. It's about fuckin' time!

    • widestanceroman

      I won't tell if you won't. . .ask. ;(

      • bflrtsplk

        I was asked. I told. But that was last week. Now what?

    • Crank_Tango

      sorry about the pudding in your eyes!

      oh wait, what?

      never mind.

    • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

      Just relax your throat a little and take it all in. That's what John would want.

  • http://littlewanking.blogspot.com/ harry_palmer

    In 50 years the Texas schoolbooks will say the Repugs led by John McCain secured these basic rights for all military personel.

    • nounverb911

      50 Years, I give it two, it gets changed just after President Perry takes office.

      • Angry_Marmot

        Michigan secedes!

        • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

          Oregon joins you!

          • Beowoof

            New York will be out, too many educated liberals here .

        • Negropolis

          I hearby call this new land The Wolverine Republic. Yep, we have a bad-assed nickname. We'll, at least one of them. It's a helluva lot better than Water-Winter Wonderland.

          • Angry_Marmot

            For our crest, instead of elk and moose rampant, a table of shop rats playing euchre.

          • Negropolis

            Ha! That'd be awesome. I still don't know how to play euchre.

          • Crank_Tango

            just go "I must be in the front row!"

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Wait. Equal time for sheephead.

          • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

            "Wolverine Republic" is surely a bad-ass name. But Michigan Staters would be able to reasonably argue that "Spartan Republic" is equally bad-ass.

            I just hope that when the shit goes down, Washington, California, Oregon and British Columbia go ahead and form that "Ecotopia Nation" they promised us years ago.

          • hooray4anything

            California's already tried but British Columbia just laughed at us

          • ChessieNefercat

            I live in the UP. A dear friend from from the south who fled the UP as soon as she could after moving up here referred to it as "winter wonder-hell."

          • Negropolis

            A real-life Yooper! I only ever hear about you guys in stories down here under the bridge.

            Yeah, I'm not sure if I could handle the 20-foot snowdrifts, that's why the good thing about this state is that you have a whole bunch of different environments.

          • ChessieNefercat

            Not really a born Yooper. More kind of ended up here (from San Diego). Nice pace. When I occasionally visit rellies else where (downstate, Cleveland!) I get confused by the fancy streetlights and multiple lanes. It is a very different place to be up here, eh? And yes, the 20 foot snowdrifts suck.

      • DoktorZoom

        I dunno. I think President Katie Perry would be cool with gays in the military.

        • nounverb911

          She can't run until 2020, too bad, she'd be fun as president.

    • arihaya

      no,,, give it two years

      they need to do it before 2012 election

    • JustPixelz

      They don't call it "The One Star State" for nothin'.

    • zhubajie

      In 50 years, they'll still have schools in Texas?

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    What kind of country is this where a mere 65% of the people can carry the day?

    I am hoping Jim DeMint and other true Americans are working on new ways to insure that at least EVERYONE in the Senate has to agree on ANYTHING before it becomes law. This is what the FOUNDERS wanted. I mean they agreed on everything right, except that John Hancock with his big gay signature.

    I am now switching on Fox News to see what Sarah Palin has to say.

    • rocktonsam

      and Willow too

    • BarackMyWorld

      Maybe they can use the courts to block it.

      • Sparky_McGruff

        Yeah, those republicans hate "activist courts", except for the activist courts who make rules up from scratch to get republicans into office, or give corrupt corporations more power, or smack down the uppity queers.

      • LocalGirlMakesGoo

        Sarah Palin will sue Gawker until this thing is stopped.

    • Beowoof

      I am sure she is encouraging her jail avoiding son to shower alone, with liquid soap as we speak.

      • DashboardBuddha

        Sure, dropping the soap is easy, but dropping the soap dispenser is almost as easy and anyway, it's all the same in the end.

    • Barbara_i

      I wonder if Todd and Sarah have broken out the therapeutic sock puppets, so that they can ask their son in a soft and soothing voice if any of those Non-Merikan gays forced themselves upon his starfish like that while he was *sniff* bravely serving?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I will just say that as a vet (4 years active duty Army), there were gay people everywhere (open showers, bivouacking, in barracks which were always co-ed in my experience) & everyone knew it & no one cared. They were just regular Joes/Janes who put up with the same BS to get the GI Bill or to get out of their one-horse town or to escape jail, and I was more than happy to have their friendship. I grew a little misty-eyed at the vote & I'm very happy, esp. for the gay guys/gals I served with. Huzzah!

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Well put, and finally something to cheer about in this dismal quagmire.

      However please no show tunes in the barracks, thank you.

      • deelzebub

        Why do you have to hate on Les Mis.

        • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

          Seriously, I can think of nothing more morale-boosting that a bunch of buff, shirtless homos in a Navy barracks spontaneously bursting out in a rousing version of "There Is Nothing Like a Dame" from South Pacific.

          And I'm straight.

    • Wadisay

      It's a sad commentary on the state of this goofed up country when you get to be happy about it undoing something that was wrong-headed to begin with. Still, this is probaby as good as it's going to get for the next couple of years, so, yeah, two cheers.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Good on you!

  • EdFlintstone

    John McCain DOESN"T make history, again.

  • GunTotingProgressive

    If there is a Hell, John McCain will spend it standing at a podium, giving a concession speech for all eternity.

    • Crank_Tango

      while having to cut the mic to keep the snowbilly grifter from giving a "victory speech."

      • OkieDokieDog

        Get your Sarah Palin Medallions right here, folks! We got 'em in Bronze, Silver, Gold Relief, Solid Gold. SOLID GOLD!! OMG! BUY BUY BUY!!! NOW NOW NOW!!!

        http://shop.alaskamint.com/Sarah-Palin-Medallions

        • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

          How many Palins to buy a self abortion kit?

        • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews/ cheaphits

          How appropriate, over-valued, glitzie, poorly thought out and designed (image looks nothing like a grizzly bear) for up to $1,900. I understand these are already in use as the official "flipping coin" to determine which gate of hell you choose.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        That is just wonderful.

    • dr_giraud

      And everything will be a lime-green , and Palin will interrupt him every couple of minutes to ask if it's her turn yet.

    • One_who_wanders

      I regret that I have but one thumbs up to give.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Permission to serve fabulously Sir.

    … Permission granted.

  • Sassomatic

    Did anyone see that pathetic speech he gave before the vote? It was hard to believe he even believed it. He ended by mumbling something about marines in hospitals having no arms or legs. Because nothing will blow off a guys arms and legs like the guy next to him being gay and admitting it.

    • DashboardBuddha

      That mumbling was actually, him saying, "Me so homophobic, me block vote long time".

    • chicken_thief

      I voted for that motherfucker in the primary in 2000 but wouldn't waste 30 seconds of my precious (beer drinking, porn surfing, Wonkette posting) time watching him now. I salute you for doing what someone had to do and reporting it for us.

    • bagofmice

      At least the cocks are blown on…

      • Sassomatic

        Ha.

  • deanbooth

    What's bad for JM is good for America.

  • Barbara_i

    This is great news for every Major Woody in the armed forces!
    In my best Lou Gehrig voice:
    "I, I, I, consider myself the luckiest woman on the face of that Private"
    Hooray!

    • ttommyunger

      Brings to mind to story of the WAC who liked popcorn so much she ate it in bed every night. She was occasionally awakened by a Colonel between her legs.

      • Barbara_i

        Lol, classic!

        • ttommyunger

          Thank you, thankyouverymuch!

          • slappypaddy

            "wac"

            heh-heh

            i remember wacs

          • ttommyunger

            The old Women's Army Corps. Marines called them “BAMS”, though not to their face (Big-Assed Marines).

          • ChessieNefercat

            Really? When I briefly considered the GI Bill many years ago as a way to pay for school, I considered the Marines. I was informed that WMs were called BAMs for "Broad-Assed Marines."

          • ttommyunger

            Because: l. You were a prospect. 2. You were face to face. No Offense.

          • ChessieNefercat

            Oh, I see. Okay then.
            Well, I didn't sign up, but I married the recruiter, and now I have an offspring with a Hawaiian birth certificate. Looks just like the Prez's!

          • ttommyunger

            My best to you and your family. Semper Fi!

          • ChessieNefercat

            Why, thank you kindly.

  • Sassomatic

    OT, but has anyone else fallen into that "sponsored post" trap? Haven't felt this stupid since I made out with that tranny.

    • Crank_Tango

      which time?

      • user-of-owls

        Which tranny?

    • x111e7thst

      Oddly enough it is only since I have become old and boring that I have stopped making out with trannys

    • chicken_thief

      The tranny called. He/she is hurt – you haven't stopped by, called, im'd or emailed….

      • DoktorZoom

        You know, that tranny hooker is working hard to make a new life for hemself with a degree from a for-profit college, but some want to threaten hir opportunities through onerous new regulations…

    • tribbzthesquidz

      Tucked
      Enough
      Already

    • jim89048

      Sponsored post?

    • UW8316154

      But you said you loved me!

  • http://www.twoeightnine.com twoeightnine

    They're here! They're queer! They're going to shoot John McCain in the rear!

  • metamarcisf

    Now McCain can devote the rest of his life to what he does best: standing on his porch, shaking his fist at passing cars.

    • GunTotingProgressive

      Hey you kids, get off of my gravel!

    • 102415

      My God! Did that little fucker McCain turn you in and take your points for some miso soup with crickets on top? Do you need someone to call an ambulance?

      • Gunner Asch

        Just outa curiosity, is your ID a deliberate reference to Agincourt or was that just a coincidence?

        • Angry_Marmot

          Two finger salute FTW.

        • 102415

          Not really, it's a deliberate reference to the time of day I signed up. Just a passing phase of paranoid logins and passwords that made me laugh crazy like over the Gawker mess. My little password book looks like it belongs to Nancy Drew.

      • Wadisay

        I am sort of curious: in the great pee inflation/deflation, did your pees track the market or go contrarian? I ask because I have a futures contract on them.

    • chicken_thief

      If only he could remember how many porches he has…

    • chicken_thief

      If he could only remember how many porches he has… and where they are…

    • MarshallBanana

      Whoa! Was the epic p-devastation reversed? You have your red badge of honor back!

    • 102415

      Oh, now I see why. Nice work! Sometimes they really don't like you and other times it's just meh. The crack about the baby in the manger somehow just confused them.lol
      Well, carry on.

    • JustPixelz

      McCain has 7 or 8 mansions houses. Which porch will he be using?

  • MozakiBlocks

    Up yours Johnny!!!

  • Oldskool_

    All ducks should be this lame.

  • 102415

    I was very surprised that Sen. Jim Bunning missed the vote and a chance to speak.

  • Naked_Bunny

    Homosexuals were forbidden from serving in the military before DADT, so I'm a little unclear on why repealing it lets them in. I'll just assume there's been other changes in the meantime.

    Regardless, congrats to all the gay privates or whatever. I hope this makes your showering more enjoyable since — based on the arguments from DADT supporters I've heard for years — you soldier types spend most of your time wet and soapy.

    • DoktorZoom

      Technically, DADT was sold as a way to "allow" gays to serve, just as long as no one anywhere in the world knew they were gay. In practice, it was a little more restrictive than that.

    • vulpes82

      Part of repeal, and why there is a window for "full implementation," is that they now have to go and revise the UCMC.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I think it would be more polite to congratulate the entirety of the gay servicemembers, and not just their privates.

      And yes, I know you did that on purpose, as did I.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hopefully they'll finally do something about those tacky uniforms now.

    Seriously,
    About fucking time.

    • Gunner Asch

      They're not bad these days. When I first went in we all looked just like Beetle Bailey. Hated that cap.

    • Wadisay

      I would be glad if military music got better. More show tunes.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Can you march to It's Raining Men?

    • LionelHutzEsq

      The Marines have pretty nice uniforms, as does the Navy. Army is all right. The Air Force really needs to gay it up though.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Yeah. I was briefly in the CF some decades back, and it was bus driver then, and evidently bus driver still. The mess dress was okay.

  • predilectrix

    "Senate Votes To Repeal DADT In John McCain’s Face," then DADT shakes its booty, and rams itself down his throat.

    No doubt the Fury of the North will tweet how this is refudiatin' the real US troops.

    • zhubajie

      She doesn't preach abstinence to the Crotch?

  • bumfug

    Mccain's still embarrased by the erection he got while being spanked by his Vietnamese jailer.

    • nappyduggs

      And Cindy is still embarrassed by every erection he's had during their marriage.

      HIIIIIYOOOOOO!

      • Crank_Tango

        wow, I just pictured one of those hot dogs in the fridge from the day AFTER the cookout, shriveled and kinda burnt. So thanks for that.

  • marrcus

    President Huckabee will probably veto the DREAM Act in 2027 though. Because he doesn't want those Messicans to steal our jobs, do the lambada with your daughter and make our food all spicy with their juh-lopenos.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Jello casserole or GTFO.

    • Negropolis

      If you think that fat-fuck's gonna be around in 2027, well…what I'm saying is that he's one cheeseburger away from a stroke.

  • user-of-owls

    It's a shame McCain's arms are more stunted and purely decorative than those of a T-Rex. Otherwise I'd ask Santa to make him bulimic.

    • mourningnmerica

      I laughed so hard I thought I would throw up. Yer killin' me…….

  • Extemporanus

    FEEL THE HOMOMENTUM!

    • Crank_Tango

      too soon!

    • Negropolis

      That's a mouthful.

      And, fie on this forum if no one takes that and runs with it. I give and give and give, but no one reciprocates.

      • bagofmice

        You ARE a bottom, no?

        • Negropolis

          That's what she said.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Today we are all gay!

    • rocktonsam

      gay soliders, sir

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Today we may ask and tell.

    • PsycWench

      Just for that six months in college though.

      • Barbara_i

        Whoa, you look familiar. Did you go to Vol State Community College? If so, thanks and have you seen my Dr. Pepper flavored lip gloss anywhere?

  • MaxNeanderthal

    Hmmm, interesting. Mcpain seems to feel that while you can ask men and women to do this; http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorksh
    you can also prohibit who they find attractive.
    Is it just me, or does that seem like the logic of a 100% turd?

    • Neilist

      ARMY sergeant.

      Army.

      In other words, not some Navy flyboy POW hand-holding fruitcake like John Mc. . . .

      :::Whoops:::

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    My brother retired recently from the Army as an E-8, a senior non-com. As someone who enlisted because it was the best choice given to him by a judge, he has always been aware that there are a lot of reasons for a recruit to join the armed service. When I asked him about his feelings regarding DADT he said that if someone wants to get into the Army and is willing to put up with all the difficulties that being a gay soldier (admittedly not his exact words) entail then he is the kind of person the Army needs.

  • dmcavalier

    As one of Sen. McCain's constituents, can only say that I am truly happy to see him run his true flag up the pole. Now, we know without a doubt that he will lie however he can to get his way; on the campaign trail for his presidential run, he wooed GLBT votes claiming he would consider civil unions for them, and a repeal of DADT. He has now been outed as a LIAR, and I am happy that everyone else gets to see both his faces. It's a sad, sad day for the McCain legacy.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Glad it passed. Never understood that "not moral enough" to kill for America.

    I'm a big fan of equal rights meaning EQUAL rights.

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      Women are still technically relegated to mostly non-combat roles, even though the US military is largely circumventing those rules. Time for women to be given an equal role as well?
      http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/16/us/16women.html

  • BarackMyWorld

    That vote seems pretty lop-sided. Are we sure only 31 senators believe that kicking out qualified people from the military because of something that has nothing to do with their job performance is good for military preparedness? With that kind of airtight logic, I'm surprised the vote wasn't closer. This *is* the U.S. Senate we are talking about, after all.

  • ttommyunger

    Your brother and I served some concurrent decades. Let me just say, some of those faggots will kick your ass if you aren't careful. I remember one saying: "there's only one thing I like better than sucking a dick, and that's fighting." You did not want that fucker pissed at you, I promise. He is not that uncommon. Hope it's not too long before we have the first living gay Medal of Honor recipient. Oh, and Senator McCain, relax; no one wants your white wrinkled saggy ass; no one!

    • slappypaddy

      my acquaintance with young urban drag queens has taught me there is arguably no one tougher in a fight.

      • ttommyunger

        I think the cauldron of their childhood experience toughens them and inures them to pain and fear of physical violence.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I once saw a drag queen attempt to throw her rival through the plate glass window of a diner in Pittsburgh, PA. (Apparently only one person can be fabulous at a time.) I would think that's the kind of energy we'd like to have expended defending our country.

        Hooray to the 65 who voted for repeal and to hell with the rest of you. Now, Joint Chiefs, make the necessary changes … and start with the Marines!

        • Negropolis

          (Apparently only one person can be fabulous at a time.)

          Sounds like a gay version of Highlander. There can be only one!

        • doxastic

          NO ONE is tougher than a Pittsburgh drag queen. And here's her day job

          • Jukesgrrl

            Never saw that before. Thanks.

        • jim89048

          I hate having to send thank you notes to John Ensign, but he did good this one time.

    • BarackMyWorld

      "Hope it's not too long before we have the first living gay Medal of Honor recipient"

      That we know of.

      • ttommyunger

        Ya think? I would hope after that level of validation one would come out, but who knows?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    The UK has adjusted to gays in the military just fine.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_iH1GhM2j8

    • LionelHutzEsq

      But, as John Stewart said, and as Python proves, how can you tell the difference?

  • Numbat_Dundee

    Hurray! Now they can play Lady Gaga instead of Wagner when they're napalming villages.

    • elpinche

      perfection

      • user-of-owls

        de acuerdo

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        seconded, my thought exactly (well not exactly, but close!)

  • Pragmatist2

    I thought they outlawed DDT a long time ago.

  • hooray4anything

    Just so I know, when I go on Daily Kos next, how can I blame Obama for screwing this up?

    • LionelHutzEsq

      Easy. Obama screwed up because he did not require gay marriage for the Army.

    • HistoriCat

      For not immediately issuing an Executive Order saying "stop discharges immediately"? After all, the Pentagon gets to decide when and how to undo DADT.

      • Negropolis

        You know, I'd actually like if Obama would use executive orders more often given his bat-shit insane opposition. It really didn't make sense for Bush to do too many since he actually had Democrats who loved him more than they loved their party, but Obama's dealing with sitting congress-critters who don't even believe he was born in this nation, let alone ones that are hostile to his policies. I'd like this fucker to steamroll me some tea partiers coming into the new year.

        BTW, this is not a criticism of how he handled DADT. I appreciate the work he put it on it. This was more a general tangent of mine. I hope he knows that if he thought the Republicans in the minority in the house were insane, then he knows that they are going to be completely insane in the majority.

        Usually, an opposition actually wants legislative achievements and to get their ideas implemented. THIS Republican Party at this time in our history has stated pretty explicitly that their key goal is to imperile the baic functioning of our current government and its leadership. It's why calling them terrorists don't even a little bit bother me. When you're goal is indiscriminate sabotage and inflicting the greatest amount of fear and pain as humanely possible it's hard to compare you to anything else.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          well said my Negro(polis) friend! :)

        • HistoriCat

          Agreed. What's so sad about it is that Obama keeps treating them like reasonable opponents even though McConnell came out and said their only priority for the next two years is his defeat.

          Personally, I would like to see some damn recess appointments. That's hardly an expansion of presidential authority and the Senate has proven they are incapable of actually providing resolution for the appointees.

    • Crank_Tango

      This is why I am leaving daily kos forever and ever, srsly!

  • fuflans

    as a big ole fag hag, me and my girls will be quaffing something potent and pink tonight and raising a glass in wonder to the dem spine, recently discovered.

    you go girls!

    • Beowoof

      I can only imagine the potent pink things you will be quaffing.

  • el_donaldo

    I liked this story: http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/12/joe-ma

    Rather than show up for a vote, Manchin decided he'd rather ditch the pressure and go to a Christmas party.

    • mookwrthwilson

      That's one Senator really earning the ol' paycheck.

      • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

        It's just that he's too much of a coward to go anywhere in public without his pwecious, pwecious gun. And guns aren't allowed in the Senate chambers.

    • Beowoof

      And to think after Deliverance I thought man sex was big in the mountains.

    • Negropolis

      I miss ole Bobby Byrd. Manchin isn't even qualified to hold his nutsack.

      • thebeatgoeson08

        With a name like Manchin, he should join the teabaggers…

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      really, a whole year ago he planned this family get together knowing they 'will not be all together for Christmas'? fuck, I don't decide if I'm gettin' together with my family for Xmas til about a week before, and it's always a toss up even then…this fucker must be a REAL 'Merkan, who celebrates Jebus' birfday real serious like!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Walnuts, you're going to have to exorcise your trauma of "What happens on the poop deck, stays on the poop deck" somewhere else.

    • Beowoof

      The poop deck for McCain these days is his rocker.

  • chascates

    Matt Drudge couldn't come up with anything other than a small link, 'Don't ask' repeal moves toward law…

    His main hede:
    WINTER SOLSTICE, LUNAR ECLIPSE OVERLAP FIRST TIME IN 456 YEARS

    Which is much bigger news than more civil rights for a group you'd think he felt some kinship with.

    • Beowoof

      For a gay guy Drudge doesn't seem to be one who recognizes who is really on his side.

      • arihaya

        Stockholm Syndrome

  • arihaya

    soon enough the GOP will claim the repeal as their own success

    and blame Obummer for not passing it fast enough

    • Cicada

      GOProud has already done this. Yes, they supported McCain, but apparently the very formation of a conservative gay lobby group ascaird the DemonRats sooooo much they had to repeal DADT.

      Conservative gays are so fucking delusional it's not even funny.

  • Beowoof

    Squeal like a pig for me boy.

  • Lucidamente1

    McCain’s "off to Vietnam to go fight some Reds and get re-captured, because that’s the only kind of military service he knows and is comfortable with."

    You forgot "and crash his plane, several times, and start a fire on the USS Forrestal."

    • bflrtsplk

      And run for president and pick a total wastoid for vp, then lose and try to act like he didn't, then vote against repealing DADT. You know that thing about forgetting history blah blah blah…

  • UW8316154

    Obama can be my boyfriend again,

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    Just for the record, why doesn't the Senate take a re-ratification vote on the Civil Rights Act? I wonder if it could pass 65-31. That would be powerful bipartisanship, if a handful of members of the Party of Lincoln could find their way to vote for equality.

    • Sparky_McGruff

      Hell, why not have a vote on the 13th amendment? See if the "Party of Lincoln" can still stomach the "end of slavery" thing?

    • June_Cleaver2.0

      No! My shoes are too expensive to be walking out in the cotton fields.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • not that Dewey

    I don't have time to read 147 comments right now, so forgive me if this has already been mentioned 146 times, but bukkake.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Bukkake: There's Always Room for More.

  • Negropolis

    For the love of the Plastic Baby Jeebus, can we just have an outright ban of posting pictures of Dubya on here, especially in threads that don't even remotely have anything to do with him? I'm so damned tired of seeing his chimp-mug plastered across this site. It's bad enough that the folks in Dallas still have to put up with his ass, but leave us out of this sadism.

    • Beowoof

      Yeah according to Barney, Bush wasn't gay but a dogs ass wasn't safe at the White House.

    • HistoriCat

      I would settle for no more Sarah Palin pics.

      • snoopyfan2010

        Or how about Bush carrying Palin?

    • Jukesgrrl

      As long as they don't get rid of the Crying Santorums.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      hey don't be takin' the name of Plastic Jesus in vain, not for Junior's sake at least…it's my birfday week so be nice (or Santa AIN'T comin' to the Negropolis this year!)

  • FlyOverGirl

    Should we all send butt plugs to McCain since he took it in the ass?

    • Beowoof

      i would loved to have seen the look on his face.

    • DustBowlBlues

      goddam. I waste my day having an insanely fun time doing Xmas shit with my stepdaughter and this happens and I can't celebrate with the wonkeratti because I have crap to do before bed.

      Double bummer: This has inspired the best John McCain jokes ever, and I've only read for a couple of minutes.

      Goddam, but my life is hard.

  • mourningnmerica

    Look, I have no problem with Walnuts surrounding himself with the type of females that he chooses, because, hey, I would do either his wife or Sarah Palin in a heartbeat. But I do resent his literal cockblocking of our gay friends. Where does he get off? He always parrots the "They're all heroes" mantra. Well then, can't a red blooded American hero suck a little cock, while protecting America from evil? I mean this asshat basically did the Club Med Hanoi route in the war, sipping on tropical drinks and cutting commercials for the VC, while our boys were actually FIGHTING. The incompetent fuck crashed his plane, (by the way, one of five he crashed) almost as soon as he got there. The lazy prick has a lot of nerve. He should relax, sucking dick is in fashion, just like the Twitter, so he should get hip to it..

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Three cheers for all the queers!

    Hip, hip, they're ghey!

  • MistaEko

    How Obama got his Moral Strength Groove Back.

    Everybody get out your cellys and call up Kucinich and explain you're sorry and were really drunk that night.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Huzzah! Justice is served and the Tightie Righties have lost their Alamo Of Hate.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Are we now officially the gayest nation in the world?

    And, I think the Marines might have a point, as it is awfully hard to be combat ready when you are having the buttsex in the showers.

    • Negropolis

      The Marines would know, too. Oh, and the Navy SEALs. The sexual tension is so thick in those barracks you could drink it from a dirty mug. And, no, that's not a double entendre…unless you want it to be, and I will not protest.

  • Cicada

    Please. please, please do a post on Bryan Fisher's (American Family Association) response to the repeal of DADT. It is so full of comedy it is pooping giggles: http://www.afa.net/Blogs/BlogPost.aspx?id=2147501

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Someone's sure got his panties in a bunch.

      • Cicada

        That happens when you forget to take your buttplug out.

    • Sassomatic

      God what a drama queen. I think someone needs a nap.

      • thebeatgoeson08

        "The new Marine motto: “The Few, the Proud, the Sexually Twisted.” Good luck selling that to strong young males who would otherwise love to defend their country. What virile young man wants to serve in a military like that?"
        "What young man wants to voluntarily join an outfit that will force him to shower naked with males who have a sexual interest in him and just might molest him while he sleeps in his bunk?"
        Aunt Bryan sounds like he's a-hopin' and a-wishin'…

        • http://theaccidentalenvironmentalist.blogspot.com HurricaneAli

          yikes, that got my yaoi working a little and I don't even like that stuff. This Aunt Bryan guy's got talent.

        • vulpes82

          That's been the unofficial motto for forever. They ain't called the Fightin' Faggots for nothing, people! The only reason the Marines were the service with the highest level of resistance to repeal in that survey was because if gays could serve openly, it would take the thrill out of their shower orgies.

          Seriously, though, my gay mentor/guru is a Marine, and "sexually twisted" doesn't even begin. And from his stories, it's not like he was unique!

        • PresBeeblebrox

          Dude obviously knows nothing of the ghey aesthetic. Someone send him some Marine pr0n and a Tom of Finland book, stat.

          Needs moar Muscular Christ, by the way.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Was that the guy talking on NPR? They had someone from something like that commenting. I was thinking it was dumb, as they should have someone from the American Military Association speaking or something, as families don't get a say in what the Marines invade.

    • DoktorZoom

      Ah, yes, all the other militaries that allowed gays to serve have had not problems, but only because the US didn't. Because of Jesus Magic, which apparently will no longer work.

    • thebeatgoeson08

      hahahaha! He said "fannies".

    • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews/ cheaphits

      The GOP platform is plain and unambiguous:

      “Esprit and cohesion are necessary for military effectiveness and success on the battlefield. To protect our servicemen and women and ensure that America's Armed Forces remain the best in the world, we affirm the timelessness of those values, the benefits of traditional military culture, and the incompatibility of homosexuality with military service.”

      Like most of the Republican platform, it is simply wrong and outdated.

      Republicans=Repression

    • PresBeeblebrox

      It's hard to know where to start with this one, but I'll try. Remember that part of the Constitution where it says a supermajority is needed to pass all legislation, forever? Bryan "Anal" Fissure does, because Jesus told him the Founding Fathers wanted it.

      "The Saturday morning cloture vote on the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was the critical vote. It needed 60 votes and got 63, because of Republican renegades Scott Brown, Mark Kirk, George Voinovich, Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe. If these traitors to national defense had voted in line with the Republican Party platform, the cloture motion would have received just 57 votes and would have failed. 

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    How did the disgusting Fellowship Freak chief-of-staff wife banging and all around sleazehound John Ensign (Retard-NV) wind up on the right side of the DADT repeal?

    Especially since the rest of the boyz in the C Street hideout of The Family are behind imposing the death penalty on gay men and women in Uganda?

    • 102415

      Misprint.

  • Schmegeg

    Seriously. Olive DRAB. You want them to wear THAT??

    • 102415

      It's very flattering for some the others may prefer Navy.

    • http://s227.photobucket.com/albums/dd271/lascauxcaveman/?action=view&current=KZ1100shafty.jpg Lascauxcaveman

      We're thinking of changing the term 'olive drab' to 'earthtone FAB.'

  • Beowoof

    Thankfully, Congress has done something right for once.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Just as long as they don't draft my butch daughter.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Even better day–DADT repealed, I have insanely fun time with my kids and I have 6 more pees than yesterday!!!! God Bless us, everyone and to all a good night.

  • Wadisay

    I hope the whole army gets issued boas.

  • littlebigdaddy
    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      When in doubt…

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    This proves Obama is morally weak.

    • Negropolis

      The sad thing is that somewhere in the US America, an assortment of Republicans are screaming those exact words into the dark, cold night.

      I read some article, today, where some high-ranking officer was making the oft-used "this will be a distraction, and we don't need a distraction while at war" argument. Yes, military contractors are robbing us blind and shooting up innocent civilians in Iraq making our soldiers much less safe, but some dude revealing his orientation is going to be a distraction. Yes, soldiers are being electrocuted in poorly wired bathroom showers, but an out lesbian will be the downfall of our hopeless occupations and Western Civilization as we know it.

      They had to put up with the blacks, but now the gays, too? Someone get these dandy military gentlement their smelling salts, 'cause they're getting' the vapors. Who next, the Jews? Say what? They've been serving for forever? **lifeless bodies hit the floor**

      • http://theaccidentalenvironmentalist.blogspot.com HurricaneAli

        thumbs up for good rant.

      • bagofmice

        Hell, they might even find out they are serving with some (god forbidding) atheists! In the foxhole!

      • PresBeeblebrox

        It all went downhill when that hippie Truman crammed and rammed Negro soldiers down our throats.

        “Esprit and cohesion are necessary for military effectiveness and success on the battlefield. To protect our servicemen and women and ensure that America's Armed Forces remain the best in the world, we affirm the timelessness of those values, the benefits of traditional military culture, and the incompatibility of integrated troops with military service.”

        There. Fixed.

    • glamourdammerung

      Since Palin was shrieking about that with the tax cut capitulation, I kind of expect to hear that exact statement if I were the sort that could stomach television pundits.

      • Negropolis

        Has Sister Sarah been heard saying ANYTHING, yesterday? If not, that would be a red letter day. Her followers must be freaking the fuck out, because they don't even know how to breath properly or relieve themselves without her telling them how to do it.

        Only two things keep her supporters in motion/animated:

        1. That there is a black man in the White House

        2. Whatever Sarah Palin has to say about that black man in the White House

        Maybe, it's three things, because I'm sure Walmart's everday low prices also have some effect on their movement.

  • littlebigdaddy
  • Radiotherapy

    So glad to see that our gay friends will be able to openly reap the benefit of our constitutionally guaranteed socialistic program, i.e.the military. I hope all the gay folks are also enjoying their Repub tax cuts this Soltice Season as well.

    • DCHatesMe

      Considering that the entire US economy is based on government businesss, aka, charity .. and every important government person is, after all, a lowly civil servant .. and every wealthy person, but a grubbing parasite .. it's not a bad thing to get.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    From the WaPo account of the vote today:

    The loss of Republican votes, no doubt, made McCain even angrier. When it came time for his closing argument before the day's key vote, McCain spoke for only a few seconds: "Today's a very sad day. The commandant of the United States Marine Corps says when your life hangs on the line, you don't want anything distracting. . . . I don't want to permit that opportunity to happen and I'll tell you why. You go up to Bethesda Naval Hospital, Marines are up there with no legs, none. You've got Marines at Walter Reed with no limbs."

    McCain turned and, without another word, walked into the cloakroom.

    If not for the homos, those Marines would still have their legs! Repeal the repeal!

    Someone needs to give WALNUTS! his meds and wheel him back to his room.

    • x111e7thst

      Hey Walnuts-at least one of those Marines with missing limbs at Bethesda Naval Hospital is gay. So Fuck-You-Very-Much. Asswipe.

    • finallyhappy

      I was going to mention his idiotic remark especially because about an hour ago in silver spring- about 5 minutes from Walter Reed- I saw a soldier- double amputee – in a wheelchair with family/friends looking at the newly opened ice rink. He was smiling and I'm positive he was not thinking "damn. the gays caused me to lose my legs and now they can serve openly in the military. I'm angry". I see guys all the time in Silver Spring and Wheaton sometimes in groups/ sometimes with a significant other- who were badly hurt and are now at Walter Reed(and I see many more of them than that POS mcCain). And I bet all these men and women together don't have as much hatred as fucking stupid McCain

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        I've since read that Gen. Amos, the Marine commandant who opposed repeal, said something similar this week. So it's obviously one of those memes these guys have come up with in their desperation. I'm thinking Gen. Amos needs to join WALNUTS! in the day room of the nursing home for bigoted old soldiers that history has passed by.

    • HistoriCat

      At first I read McCain's quote and thought "when did he lose his legs?" Then the answer was obvious:

      FIVE AND HALF YEARS AGO.

      • 102415

        Hahahahahahahah, seriously I laughed.
        Real question when did he lose his mind?

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Walnuts is walking back into the closet.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I wonder if there are any Republican voters in Arizona who will even notice how stupid this man is. I mean, you can actually deconstruct his statement:

      Q. How do you get multi-limbless Marines?
      A. (1) Explosions; (2) aircraft crashes; (3, rarely) heavy machinegun fire.

      Q. In Irag/Afghanistan, where do you find explosions affecting Marines?
      A. (1) IEDs; (2) RPGs; (3) friendly fire.

      Q. In what way would the "distraction" of knowing officially that a fellow Marine is gay (something you almost certainly already know) increase your exposure to IEDs, RPGs, or crashes?
      A. Fuck you, John McCain.

  • _MISS_T_

    Total enjoyment can only be had by perusing the far right blogosphere for lunatic commentary. Not to be missed.

    • Negropolis

      Crazy, there is not a single post on the front page of RedState about DADT. Only thing on it is how the Dems killed the DREAM Act. lol

  • LionelHutzEsq

    I just looked at the NYT's graphics on this. Orin Hatch did not vote on DADT repeal.

    Orin Hatch, Secret Gay Champion?

  • OneYieldRegular

    This is good news for McCain's wife and daughter.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Naw … he probably isn't any fun at Christmas. Forgets that he bought the same gifts last year, thinks Santa is a goddam lib'rul, and he'll be mean to Cindy's hairdresser at the party.

  • Steverino247

    Hey, John! You've got Marines with no limbs because you voted to authorize war powers for a man who lied about YOU in order to get those war powers. You had personal and no doubt painful knowledge of exactly what he would do to get to the White House and went along with it anyway. SO, FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! You don't get to complain when you're responsible.

  • transfatz

    John McCain had DADT in his face. I hate it when that happens. Then it got repealed? That's good isn't it?

  • doxastic

    I would be more psyched, but the "private career college" propaganda everywhere is putting a damper on things. Wonkett can take their ad money just so long as we're clear that those schools are scams. They're the cash-4-gold of higher ed.

    • http://theaccidentalenvironmentalist.blogspot.com HurricaneAli

      the so-called "real" institutions of higher ed are a bunch of gold-diggers, too.

      • doxastic

        My bank account begs to differ.

  • Redhead

    McCain was just mad that DADT was argued for longer than FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! How dare those pesky gays show him up!

  • lochnessmonster

    There is this nut who keeps calling in to @cspanwj in the mornings saying that the gays will molest straight men in the barracks if they all get a little drunk.

    • Crank_Tango

      yeah ya know, I think that if you're worried about not being able to stop yourself from getting gay molested, you're not actually straight.

      Is that what everyone is afraid of–we're not all as straight as we pretend?

    • doloras

      Straight men will molest straight men in the barracks if they all get a little drunk.

      • PresBeeblebrox

        Especially if they're contractors in Iraq.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      One of the all-time greatest:
      http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these

  • bitchincamaro2

    It's hard to recall the last time congress passed a bill that didn't have corporate money and cum smeared all over it. Could this be the first time in a long time?

  • elpinche

    I get it…I get it. The domestic animal motif.
    BTW.. Numbat_Dundee said everything that needs to be said about the DADT victory.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Hurray!

    And to give John McShame a little tender Christmas goose, how about at the remaining holiday parties to make sure to put walnuts in yer fruit salad.

  • xsluggo

    McAged rode into the jowls of defeat.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Someone tell me what I am missing here.

    The Republicans just gained massive victories in the midterm elections, but I can't think of a single individual policy they support that has popular support. That'd seem to indicate that what happened was a vote against Obama, not a huge public mandate for their party, because they've defined themselves based entirely on what they are against instead of what they are for.

    Despite this, the Republicans are acting like they are popular again and doing whatever the hell they want.

    Again….what am I missing?

    • dyedwool

      That the Republicans are douchey and the American Voting Public is retarded?

      Nah, you can't be missing that. Too obvious.

      I'm stumped then.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      That the average American voter has the critical thinking skills of a whelk.

    • obfuscator2

      it's pure electoral politics: what will nobamar do today? oppose whatever it is by calling it socialisms and against america's founding constitution fathers jesus capitalisms lather rinse repeat as needed.

      this strategy is dependent on the willful ignorance of the average american voter. it's working so far. the mainstream media coverage of the repeal will be mostly positive; i can't wait to see how fox and the rest of the fucktards spin it.

    • fishskicanoe

      Naw. The American public is lazy. They want someone to fix their problems for them… at no cost or trouble to themselves. So they gave Barack a couple of months to fix it for them and then got all hissy when he didn't. Now they'll give the Koch brothers and Boehnhead a couple months and when that doesn't work out they'll stand around and scratch their asses and wonder who to blame next and who to pick to clean up their messy diapers for them. Heaven forfend that they learn to go potty and wipe their asses like the rest of the world.

    • Negropolis

      This is werid, because I've heard Boehner tell Republicans more than once that they aren't anymore popular than the Democrats. Apparently, a lot of folks in the GOP haven't gotten the message.

      Our politics are just FUBAR, these days. Neither side knows what is up and what is down, anymore. In fact, the message sent on election day is even more convoluted in that those who decided to vote let the GOP win the House, but held them back from winning the Senate. Maybe, it's chalked up to what/who was and wasn't exposed.

      If nothing else can be gleaned from this it is that Republicans thrive in chaos. It's strange because they used to be seen as a party that thrived in, and brought, stability. Now, they win when they can set more fires than the Democrats can put out.

  • PresBeeblebrox

    Heh. Admiral Cain was queer as frack and she cold murdered everyone on the Scylla and stripped their FTL drive. Oh, wait… wrong military.

    Srsly, I never could figure out what the hell was so bad about ghey soldiers…

  • VespulaMaculata

    Now, if this is coupled in the forthcoming week with perhaps Darth Vader or Battleax Babs dropping dead, I may be forced into believing in Santa Claus again.

    …Or a just God.

    • Rotundo_

      Oh hell, let's hope for a trifecta on those three, this was a good week: Beautiful Minded Babs stroking out would make the month, Dickles the Heartless keeling over would make the quarter for karma distribution in political circles.

  • meester_Data

    Waiting patiently for the first 'jam down our throat' comment.

    • PresBeeblebrox

      Ramming and cramming and jamming. Yeeeeah! Poppers make it much easier to handle, I hear.

  • realmurkin

    TAKE THAT, Grandpa Walnutz!!!111!1!!!!1!!!!11!11!!!

  • zhubajie

    Would any smart person, gay or straight, join the military? If they weren't avoiding something worse? The state of the government has gotten so bad that I find it hard to believe any honorable person serving it voluntarily.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    I'm just glad I don't have to listen to any fucking libtards railing against Obama for not getting this done, even though, surprise, it actually takes more than one branch of government to make changes that really stick. This beats getting hit over the head by the wingnuts about a "dictatorial" DADT executive order.