ENDLESS WAR ON XMAS  5:22 pm December 17, 2010

Rep. Loretta Sanchez Sends History’s Saddest Christmas Card

by Ken Layne

All I ever get for Christmas is blue.For the past hundred years or so, political people in Washington and Southern California have looked forward to nothing more than the whimsical/weird Christmas Card sent out by Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez. Why? Because it showed a bit of whimsy/weirdness, which means it was utterly unique in the dead-soul forced-smile world of U.S. politics. Well, we hope you all enjoyed the fun of years past, with Loretta and her cat doing various funny things like surfing or riding motorcycles or burning twenty dollar bills. We hope you liked all that.

Because it’s over. Loretta’s cat died.

Aw goddammit how much of this we got to take?Happy Christmas, everybody! The cat apparently died in a tragic holiday fire. [Thanks to "Danielle" for sending the card and bumming everybody out. Thanks a lot, "Danielle."]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 182 comments }

CherryGarCAhhh December 17, 2010 at 5:26 pm

i haz a sad!

GunTotingProgressive December 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Sad, but his plus/minus had been going down for several seasons, so it was inevitable.

BerkeleyBear December 17, 2010 at 6:13 pm

And here I was thinking it was the ongoing debacle that is the Phoenix Coyotes drove him to immolation.

Negropolis December 18, 2010 at 1:33 am

Phoenix coyotes are known for having a taste for cats and small dogs.

dyedwool December 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Today, we are all Gretzky.

Lascauxcaveman December 17, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Awesome! I've been wanting to bang Janet Jones for like, forever.

DoktorZoom December 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Man. This is like tuning in for the Barney Miller Christmas Special and getting the Jack Soo Memorial Clip Show instead.

GuyClinch December 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Win!!!1!

Tommmcatt December 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Jack Soo was awesome, I'll have you know.

V572625694 December 17, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Deadpan humor is very nice. That guy on "Curb" who plays Marty Funkhouser is terrific.

DoktorZoom December 17, 2010 at 6:53 pm

I was thinking of the unexpected Xmas sadz, not casting aspersions on Lt. Yamada. He was a nifty part of one of the great ensemble workplace comedies.

His coffee, on the other hand…

Lascauxcaveman December 17, 2010 at 7:59 pm

On topic, a recent surprise for me, I just got the first disc of the Firefly teevee show from Netflix and, holy shit – Ron Glass! I haven't seen him in a million years.

Tommmcatt December 17, 2010 at 9:18 pm

He was a funny dude. Remember the 'Fro he had on Barney Miller? Good times.

Lascauxcaveman December 17, 2010 at 11:37 pm

Yeah, as a young white kid growing up in the 70's, Bill Cosby, Robert Guillame, Ron Glass and Tim Meadows taught me I didn't have to be afraid of black people anymore.

Then somebody introduced me to James Brown and Screamin' Jay Hawkins…

imissopus December 17, 2010 at 11:32 pm

Holy shit! The preacher from Firefly was on some other show back in the seventies?

ChessieNefercat December 19, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Yes! Barney Miller! And, apropos of yesterday's vote, the show featured gay people. Granted, they were only ever there as arrestees, but, it was way back in the '70's. Now I haz an old.

Beowoof December 17, 2010 at 9:14 pm

Barney Miller was always a Fav of mine.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Spoiler alert! Dwight put it in the freezer.

PublicLuxury December 18, 2010 at 11:18 am

Stri Fry tonight. You're invited Crank.

Crank_Tango December 18, 2010 at 12:45 pm

I'm down! Is it gonna involve eating pussy?

dyedwool December 17, 2010 at 5:29 pm

I can haz cremation?

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Nice to have another bummer right before going into the weekend; well it's time to hit the bottle.

angryclownspawn December 17, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Actually the more I think about it, the better off we are all. This just means there will be more cat food available once the new congress passes austerity cuts and gets rid of food stamps and such.

Sassomatic December 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Wouldn't sweat it. Plenty more pussies in Congress.

inapewetrust December 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm

everybody lift your first friday beginning-of-the-binge boozey drinks – lift them high, i say! – and toast the memory of the handsome and heroic gretzky. TO GRETZKY!

Crank_Tango December 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm

I am gonna twist of a fatty of the finest organic california medical catnip around, for the shorties.

jim89048 December 17, 2010 at 6:17 pm

I thought you meant Brasky…

MinAgain December 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm

Damn, that cat was old. Did a universal healthcare death panel get him, in the end?

Radiotherapy December 17, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Thank god I'm a dog person.
Now, where's that bottle of Bushmill's?

weejee December 17, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Wuz that cat a Persian???? Could Gretsky have been a plant by Ahmadinejihad????? Could Gretsky have been leakin' before the Wiki????? Video at 11:00.

GuyClinch December 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Maybe the cat knew too much…

Ken Layne December 17, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Where is your SOUL, chascates?

/yeah the cat was hella ugly.

edgydrifter December 17, 2010 at 5:48 pm

It looked like Wilford Brimley with a bad case of hypertrichosis. Still, having your pet die at Xmas makes for a shitty future-memory. I can vouch for that.

Negropolis December 18, 2010 at 1:39 am

Anyone who can fit in a Wilford Brimley reference in everyday conversation is good people in my book.

Boredw/Gravity December 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm

Yes! My pee recovered, and it's higher than Layne's. There is a Jeebus.

Beanball December 17, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Me too! It's gonna be a swell Christmas.

And on that cheery note I frolic, BUT, some time I'll tell you all about how my crazy grandmother put our Siamese in the freezer and I'm not kidding.

DoktorZoom December 17, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Watch the frolicking. It inevitably leads to some fool girl brushing your wing, and then, heartbreak.

ChessieNefercat December 19, 2010 at 11:03 pm

My mother put the family's cremated kitties in their boxes right there in the kitchen hutch, next to the cheerios and bran flakes.

ChessieNefercat December 19, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Oh, she didn't cremate them to put them with the breakfast cereal, it was a gradual thing, old age, car squashings, etc.

I, ah, have a finch in my freezer. One of these years I'll bury it, if the damn snow ever melts long enough.

Mahousu December 17, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Will Pope Kitty be presiding at Gretzky's funeral? It seems only fitting.

I have some acrobatic male cats I can send to perform if the Pope needs an incentive.

blogslut December 17, 2010 at 5:36 pm

R.I.P. kitty.

Oh, hai you guys! The Guardian has a synopsis of the police reports/ allegations against Julian Assange:
http://m.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/dec/17/julian-

That dude may be the messiah of freedom but seriously, what a dick.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

hmm yeah, when it starts to feel great, the rubber has given out. no mistaking that, not sober anyway.

slappypaddy December 17, 2010 at 5:48 pm

the sex police are out there on the streets, while indoors, there's gonna be a meter on every bed that will disclose what everybody does.

V572625694 December 17, 2010 at 6:14 pm

The rich have got their chattels in the bedrooms of the poor, after all.

Beetagger December 17, 2010 at 6:46 pm

Tower of Schlong

Bluestatelibel December 17, 2010 at 6:22 pm

"It was the worst sex ever," one of the victims complained. Wow, I didn't realize being lousy in bed is a crime.

PuckStopsHere December 17, 2010 at 9:55 pm

At least I am now officially off the hook for that "worst sex ever" thing.

chicken_thief December 18, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Only if you've been banging Swedish chicks, but, what the hell, it still seems like a net plus to me.

Steverino247 December 17, 2010 at 6:22 pm

The case against Assange, which has been the subject of intense speculation and dispute in mainstream media and on the internet, is laid out in police material held in Stockholm to which the Guardian received unauthorised access.

Unauthorized access? Oooh! Karma's a bitch, ain't it.

mereoblivion December 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm

Well, Gretzky's smile was starting to seem a little forced. And now he's gone to white pussy heaven so all manner of thing be well.

metamarcisf December 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Oh, OK. For a second I thought she meant that the rabbit died.

rocktonsam December 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

word around the campfire is that cat was the only fur on Loretta's lap

meow,also

jim89048 December 17, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Now that that's out of the way, I'd hit that.

ttommyunger December 17, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Pix!

BarryOPotter December 19, 2010 at 11:08 pm

… that cat was the only fur on Loretta's lap

I imagine Christine O'Donnell's cat goes missing for days on end, then she decides to do a skivy refresh and "Meow!"

slappypaddy December 17, 2010 at 5:41 pm

gretz was 93 cat years old. r.i.p., fine feline.

Krugmanic Depressive December 17, 2010 at 6:36 pm

But what was his cat-pee score?

T_Party_Pickens December 18, 2010 at 1:20 pm

And did she first give him a cat scan?

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Nineteen years is a long time for a cat, so nice run, Gretzky. And here's to Loretta Sanchez and fresh pussy.

xsluggo December 17, 2010 at 5:56 pm

But you have to substract from the 19 years time spent in the penalty box.

charlesdegoal December 17, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Not quite sure what she means by "harmed" in that 2004 card. Just burning the tip of their tails doesn't hurt cats much, but the invisible psychological scars can be lasting. Gretzky may have lived another six years in mental agony and his death may well have been a deliverance.
Also, with that name and certainly very clumsy on ice – never mind skates – he probably suffered from a dreadful case of low self-esteem.

xsluggo December 17, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Can I have the fur? I need a lining for my burlap hobo gloves.

Gratuitous World December 17, 2010 at 5:45 pm

you guys laughed and laughed, but Palin was clearly on point about Obama's feline death panels.

eekahil December 17, 2010 at 5:45 pm

That Sanchez is dirty.

wok3 December 17, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Thought she was talking about the hockey player when she drunk dialed me on the phone, now this all makes sense!

fuflans December 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

gretsky moved to a better world before the 112th congress kicks in.

smart cat.

Clancy_Pants December 17, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Just have Gretzky freeze dried. No reason to mess with a sacred Christmas tradition.

Bluestatelibel December 17, 2010 at 6:15 pm

It's been a great week all around, yes? First, our Kenyan-muslim-socialist president turns Repubatard, I'm forced to use dead weeds as Xmas decorations, and this poor lady's cat passes away. But in the immortal words of Homer Simpson, there's nothing that booze can't cure, let the drinking begin.

ifthethunderdontgetya December 17, 2010 at 7:09 pm

CHEERS!
~

Steverino247 December 17, 2010 at 6:19 pm

White pussy is dead? Quick, somebody call Greta v. S. and Nancy Grace!!!

Barrelhse December 17, 2010 at 6:20 pm

"Tragic" is one opinion.

Barrelhse December 18, 2010 at 12:09 am

Tough room.

chicken_thief December 18, 2010 at 10:32 pm

Buck up, little camper – I actually laughed out loud when I read it. And was surprised by the negative… I'll give ya a plus thumb!

transfatz December 20, 2010 at 3:58 am

True story, I'll spot you a thumbs up.

Wadisay December 17, 2010 at 6:35 pm

O/T, but how the hell did I gain 40 "pees" since lunch? I mean, my last penis gag was good, but not that good. By next Tuesday, I will have 300 pees, and you will all bow down.

JustPixelz December 17, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Ken Layne was using our "p" points in some kind of ponzi scheme. Thanks to an out-of-court settlement, we got them back.

OneDollarJuana December 18, 2010 at 1:01 pm

God, I hope his son (if he has one) doesn't hang himself.

Beetagger December 17, 2010 at 6:47 pm

The man always keeps my "pees" down in the 90s, so's I don't get too high and mighty.

PuckStopsHere December 17, 2010 at 9:58 pm

It's "The Man" and you always have to be takin' it to him.

trampndirtdown December 17, 2010 at 10:04 pm

Hey puck feeling ok?

PuckStopsHere December 17, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Yeah, I'm OK, thanks. I expect to be back on the ice next week, speaking of hockey-related themes…

ttommyunger December 17, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Who gagged on a penis? Pix!

Respitetini December 17, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Loretta Sanchez: the original anchor congresswoman.

RIP Kitteh. Enjoy the celestial cheeseburgers.

Tommmcatt December 17, 2010 at 6:44 pm

One can buy a new cat, you know.

Just sayin'.

slithytoves December 17, 2010 at 6:52 pm

There are some cats that you just can't buy, unlike congresspeople.

Rotundo_ December 17, 2010 at 9:23 pm

And cats should be neutered, but congresspeople should be neutered with extreme predjudice.

wondering where i am December 17, 2010 at 8:25 pm

How much are you selling yourself for?

Tommmcatt December 17, 2010 at 9:15 pm

It was $300/hr once upon a time. Now $3.50 and whatever's left in that bottle…

DashboardBuddha December 18, 2010 at 1:15 pm

I've got $1.50 in the kitty. Get it? In the kitty?

nappyduggs December 18, 2010 at 1:02 pm

To paraphrase Chris Rock, "NEW PUSSY CAIN'T POSE FOR AN OLAN MILLS CHRISTMAS PORTRAIT!"

Crank_Tango December 18, 2010 at 1:08 pm

new pussy is illiterate!!!

ChessieNefercat December 19, 2010 at 11:09 pm

People pay for cats?!

Tundra Grifter December 17, 2010 at 6:44 pm

Well, now we know we've lost the brains of the outfit…

JustPixelz December 17, 2010 at 6:46 pm

That cat was 19 years old! Born during the Bush Administration (non-fuckup edition). Old enough to vote, enlist, get pregnant (Palin cats only). Older than some of the things in my 'fridge.

Bonzos_Bed_Time December 18, 2010 at 12:21 am

Here, let me fix that for ya: Less fucked up edition.

EdFlintstone December 17, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Maybe it's better Gretzky passed before Sanchez traded him.

assistantatlas December 17, 2010 at 7:35 pm

It was probably those damn Vietnamese that killed poor Gretsky!

(reference)

obfuscator2 December 17, 2010 at 7:36 pm

play gretzky off, keyboard congresswoman.

PsycWench December 17, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Looking at that cat's picture, you know he's seen some things. Some things that cannot be unseen even for cats, who are all about convenience after all.

angryclownspawn December 17, 2010 at 7:53 pm

How sad that the poor cat died before the Obama tax miracle cured the economy and fixed unemployment.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2010 at 8:10 pm

I think that THIS is the year those upper-level tax cuts are really gonna start trickling down.

angryclownspawn December 17, 2010 at 8:13 pm

I know, right? I almost can't wait to finally start getting trickled on.

weejee December 17, 2010 at 8:42 pm

I think we've more likely been tricked by the financial highs than we'll get trickled. Peed upon, too, also, but not in those greenies next to our avatars.

GodShammgod December 17, 2010 at 8:03 pm

Watch Sarah Palin put a picture of a dead moose on her Christmas card for one-upmanship.

bflrtsplk December 18, 2010 at 12:21 pm

It's for a project for her Palintology course.

chicken_thief December 18, 2010 at 10:39 pm

Gretzky didn't happen to be near any of those fish she was batting, did he?

transfatz December 20, 2010 at 4:10 am

Proposed card caption:

Venite Adoremoose. (Come, let us give Sarah some gold).

ShiftyParadigm December 17, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Whozzah dead widdle pussy cat? You are! You're a dead widdle pussy cat!

PublicLuxury December 17, 2010 at 8:16 pm

My pussy died at 18. My Muffy did not go on Congressional Junkets so she did not show the longevity that corporate money can provide.

Lascauxcaveman December 17, 2010 at 9:24 pm

The family cat we had when I was a kid lived to 21 (possibly 22; she was full grown when she adopted us). This shows the longevity that sleeping on my feet and alternately, on my face, can provide.

PublicLuxury December 18, 2010 at 6:54 am

I would gladly sleep in your face :)

Lascauxcaveman December 18, 2010 at 10:14 pm

You ain't heard my snoring yet.

ttommyunger December 17, 2010 at 10:41 pm

Your pussy died at eighteen, or was it so good you just felt like you'd died and you had seen the face of God? Be specific!

PublicLuxury December 18, 2010 at 6:54 am

It was soooooo good I saw the face of God. On the up side, it is still good and God's face hasn't changed.

ttommyunger December 18, 2010 at 10:31 am

Good for you! Everyone has the right to be orgasmic. May you observe His Visage three different ways: long, hard and often.

Lascauxcaveman December 17, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Aw hell, I might as well share in the grief and mention the passing of another fine animal, a Great American (American Shorthair), a long time member of my family, all 18 pounds of him a lean, mean rabbit-killing machine. Tallest cat I ever met, a born clown, and a great big lovable galoot who made it a point to bite everyone, when provoked, except me.

I only hope his love of sharing my bourbon on the rocks, a habit of his in his younger days, wasn't the major factor in his death by liver failure at age 13, about two months ago.

R.I.P., Blackie. *sniff* ('Scuse me, I think I got something in my eye)

DashboardBuddha December 18, 2010 at 12:21 am

He reminds me a bit of my current Buddy…although the Budster only tips the scales at 14 pounds. His "sister" MC only weighs 7 pounds and likes to sleep on my side with me in bed. Cat whore that I am, I don't want to disturb her in her slumbers so when I have to turn over, I do so VERY slowly. This allows her to do what I like to call "The Slow Motion Log Roll" with me playing the role of the log. Buddy just sleeps off to one side and laughs.

I dig cats.

738838 December 18, 2010 at 8:24 am

I am about to go into the bog for a slow motion log roll myself.

UW8316154 December 18, 2010 at 12:12 pm

I'm sorry, Caveman. I'll raise a nice glass of bourbon to Blackie tonight.

ChessieNefercat December 19, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Aww, take care. Thirteen is a good run for a cat. I think you did just fine.

slithytoves December 17, 2010 at 8:22 pm

I asked my cats how they felt about this: one could not be distracted from drinking from the Solstice tree well and the other was licking his no longer existent balls and couldn't take any questions. I take that for "life is short: run hard, sleep often, eat mice, and get your human to scratch your chin."

Very Tao, these beings.

JackDempsey1 December 17, 2010 at 8:29 pm

Who says a touching and timeless Xmas tradition has to end? http://www.americantaxidermyonline.com/

PublicLuxury December 18, 2010 at 11:17 am

I was going to have my cat stuffed…. But friends and family found it odd at the best point and disturbed at the worst point. The husb rolled in and said, "That's fucking gross! No! You are not going to do that." Discussion ended and the cat got cremated and looked a lot like kitty litter…. Go figure?

LionelHutzEsq December 17, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Well, now that the cat is dead, I can pet her pussy.

jim89048 December 17, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Until Boehner Boner cries over it, it never happened.

An_Outhouse December 17, 2010 at 8:44 pm

but she whored you out on Xmas cards. They were excellent. Didn't you know – kitty cam!

Plowmon December 17, 2010 at 8:45 pm

And I thought only good things happen when a fluffy-haired pussy gets really hot…

An_Outhouse December 17, 2010 at 8:48 pm

I'm suspecting Bo was involved and Michelle was the evil genius behind it all.

user-of-owls December 17, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Now wait just one goddamn minute. How in the $#@^&% did metamarcisf wind up in his/her beautiful red hole again after the The Great P Forward?

weejee December 17, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Peezee come, peezee go.

DashboardBuddha December 18, 2010 at 12:23 am

Well done.

user-of-owls December 17, 2010 at 9:04 pm

On the bright side, the fact that poor Gretzky passed before December 31st means that Loretta can claim a 30% Energy Tax Credit for reducing her cat footprint.

GodShammgod December 17, 2010 at 9:18 pm

To hear a Freeper tell it, the cat committed suicide to avoid the estate tax.

weejee December 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

ya beat me by a hair. Good job God!

weejee December 17, 2010 at 9:20 pm

And Gretzky died before the estate tax gets reinstated!!! Loretta gets all the monies from those Tender Vittles commercials that are part of the estate sans the taxman hit.

Beowoof December 17, 2010 at 9:13 pm

In honor of poor Gretzkey, I have updated my avatar, to Spike.

Beowoof December 17, 2010 at 9:19 pm

In other news the guy who was marinating his cat while still alive appeared in a Buffalo Courtroom today. http://www.torontosun.com/news/weird/2010/12/17/1

jim89048 December 17, 2010 at 9:33 pm

Another cat died today, Captain Beefheart, RIP.

jqheywood December 17, 2010 at 11:56 pm

"Ashtray heart.."
Damn…one of my favs from my mispent youth, gone.

natoslug December 18, 2010 at 1:04 am

Until he died, I had no idea that he lived in the same town as me. I need to get out more, while I still fit through the doorway.

Blendergoathead December 17, 2010 at 9:38 pm

Damn. In this situation, the snark just writes itself, but out of respect for the dead kitty…

… oh, fuck it. I'd vote in her district, if you know what I mean.

Now I feel bad.

smokefilledroommate December 17, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Gretzky will be her new 'body glove'..bluh.
(Having problems with snark, 'cause pet death fucking sucks).

Neilist December 17, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Gretzkey wil celebrate Xmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant.

It's a Mexskin Tradition . . . .

trampndirtdown December 17, 2010 at 10:09 pm

I don't particularly like cats, but anybodies pet dieing makes me kinda sad. I also wish i was in her district, any one who sends out christmas cards like that needs my vote.

chascates December 17, 2010 at 10:30 pm

I hope Ms. Sanchez gets a cat from a shelter. I just adopted 2 kittens that were born outside a kitchen I volunteer at.

On the ASG Usenet group, a celebrity gossip list, someone who has just died is now said to be in the stereo cabinet because of this one post in reply to a poster's pet loss:

Having been through it myself, I know how you are feeling. I had my
cat freeze dried and he is in my stereo
[cabinet] and can be seen through glass doors in a sleeping position. I couldn't bear to put him in the ground. Some people react strangely but it gives me great comfort to always see the animal who was my good friend. Though I've had many animals over the years, Spike was my special buddy and he will be buried with me.

ttommyunger December 17, 2010 at 10:42 pm

I am sick. Read this and all I can think about is hot pussy.

user-of-owls December 17, 2010 at 10:50 pm

Um, not to be cruel or anything, but I'm guessing it's cold pussy by now.

ttommyunger December 18, 2010 at 10:43 am

Hmmmm. Reminds me of my first wife.

donner_froh December 17, 2010 at 11:17 pm

That is a very ugly baby.

johnnyzhivago December 17, 2010 at 11:23 pm

Off to Puss & Boots Hill, I presume.

user-of-owls December 17, 2010 at 11:49 pm

The man they called the Boehner swore he'd kill the cat on sight
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around
Ninety seven pieces of the Boehner is all they ever found

But Gretzky came back the very next day
Her cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away

fuflans December 17, 2010 at 11:55 pm

it's christmas time, there's no need to be afraid,
at christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
and in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
throw your arms around the world at christmas time.

but say a prayer, a pray for the other ones…
do they know it's christmas time at all?

DashboardBuddha December 18, 2010 at 12:23 am

A hairy pussy gets all of this attention? Christine O'Donnell weeps.

CapnFatback December 18, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Gretzky was a traditionalist. The waxing trend completely passed him by.

rocktonsam December 18, 2010 at 1:09 pm

is one of the stages of grief, horny?

elpinche December 18, 2010 at 1:22 am

All this domestic animal worshipping by political leaders is a Sign of the Rapture.

BarackMyWorld December 18, 2010 at 3:54 am

Sanchez clearly didn't understand when she was told that many voters were interested in her pussy.

bflrtsplk December 18, 2010 at 4:18 am

This presents a real dilemma: Get skunk drunk to forget or stay sober to maintain some dignity. Aaahhhhh! Pass the bottle.

By the way, John Boner didn't cry.

PublicLuxury December 18, 2010 at 6:55 am

This is good news for John McCain.

Thedongsofwar December 18, 2010 at 10:44 am

That's a lotta kitty.

x111e7thst December 18, 2010 at 11:10 am

As long as Van Tran is not eating Loretta's dead pussy..

predilectrix December 18, 2010 at 11:54 am

Mourn not–Gretzky is now with Ceiling Cat. Thanks to his modelling experience, he's being groomed as Ceiling Cat's body double for prmotional events, photo shoots, etc.. His charmed life of snuggling between the legs of brown ladies goes on.

themcwow December 18, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Met her campaigning @ 2006 Tet Festival (without Catbus) in full Vietnamese trad garb, passing out New Year envelopes/candy. Pre Van Tran gaffe.

weejee December 18, 2010 at 1:03 pm

So it wasn't a Tet offensive?

themcwow December 18, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Not yet.

mrblifil December 18, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Some pussies are more smokin' than others.

x111e7thst December 18, 2010 at 1:20 pm

OT. Cloture on the DADT repeal. 65-33 for. I'm actually liking Joe Lieberman. Yetch.

Crank_Tango December 18, 2010 at 1:39 pm

a broken clock is right 729 times a year more than lieberman, not including leap years, but still.

Veritas78 December 18, 2010 at 2:11 pm

So one cat down, a hundred million to go. These feline parasites have figured out how to infest their human hosts so that the latter no longer prefer human contact, resulting in the widespread misanthropy we have all observed in cat "owners." It's all part of the plan. When they finally achieve a détente with dogs, we are truly fucked.

glamourdammerung December 18, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Cats could hardly do the pretty good job humans do of making me wish to avoid most humans.

VinnyThePooh December 18, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Bummer. No more poopy litter bags to send to Sharron Angle.

Crank_Tango December 18, 2010 at 4:27 pm

I'll be sure to bring a bib!

chicken_thief December 18, 2010 at 10:19 pm

And practice air licking the alphabet…

102415 December 18, 2010 at 5:25 pm

Dear Kitty. Sorry Loretta.

Neilist December 18, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Oh, one more thing:

Documented intelligence from our National Strategic Assets (well, okay, a bunch of blurry xeroxes that the Israelis faxed over) establishes that Persian cats are running a covert uranium enrichment program outside of IAEA controls.

Also, Persian cats get that "unibrow" thing when they get older. And their granduncles are all former colonels in the Savak.

Siamese cats, on the other hand . . . or other paw. Whatever.

HistoriCat December 19, 2010 at 10:05 am

You just can't trust Persians with their stupid little smug faces …

MiniMencken December 19, 2010 at 7:19 pm

The Loretta Sanchez's mailing list is huge, covering not just people in her California district, the 47th, and Washington D.C. but political types across this here great land of ours. Receiving her Xmas card has always been the highlight of my season. But, nothing will match the splendor of her 2006 effort…

BarryOPotter December 19, 2010 at 11:04 pm

That's why you never got your feline pimp card, which sucks if you were dreaming of becoming a card-carrying feline pimp.

realmurkin December 20, 2010 at 12:30 am

There's so much material for hilarity here, but as a cat owner I just feel super bummed out. Hang in there, Loretta.

transfatz December 20, 2010 at 4:27 am

I don't know anything about her politics but losing a 19 year animal friend hurts.

IgnatiusRally December 20, 2010 at 10:47 pm

Ok, the banner ad on this page is for Snapfish christmas photo cards. WTF?

Speaking of WTF, she named her cat Gretzky?

Tomtom29 April 14, 2011 at 9:26 am

Dead cat=Good cat.

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