Remembering Our Fallen Week: Nothing a Little Bribe Can’t Solve
by Benjamin Frisch 7:14 am December 20, 2010
- Barack Obama welcomed the cast of Glee to worship with him and Michelle at his dog-cult shrine and White House.
- Dick Cheney managed to bribe his way out of being shipped to Nigeria like a lowly Wikileaker.
- Wikileaks founder and Helen Mirren stunt-double Julian Assange was finally released on bail, so he can now get to playing the new World of Warcraft expansion with all his Internet nerd friends.
- Stem cells maybe-cured a guy with HIV, which means that murdered babies are now being used to cure God’s gay plague. Justice!
- John Boehner got all histrionic, like an actual woman, at all those people who make the obvious observation that he has the complexion of a leathery creamsicle.
- Mike Bloomberg and his NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT friends got together for a big old circle-jerk and copyright infringement party.
- Your Wonkette’s War on Christmas Gift Guide brought a cup of cheer to all the sad hoarders looking for more junk to fill their double-wide trailer.
{ 23 comments }
Big Dick Cheney needs a better exit strategy than withering away while fighting extradition to Nigeria. He needs to get out the ol' shotgun and shoot that whimpering orange shit Boehner right in the face. And then make him apologize.
When one of his minions said, "No Labels! That's great branding," Bloomberg should have punched them in the face. That he didn't help explains why he'll never be president. Also: When Republicans infringe copyright, it's some liberal rock star's song. (The Democrats are careful about this stuff, that's their base.) But stealing graphics? Even their lawbreakin' is lame.
First-class badass Helen Mirren would be Assange's stunt double.
I wrote a long screed about Johnny Cougar Mellancamp Wofenstein 3D Bananaheadquarters, but it was deleted for some reason.
Suffice to say, this is good news for John McCain. Also. Maverick.
Second time's a charm:
"When Republicans infringe copyright, it's some liberal rock star's song."
Johnny Cougar Mellancamp Wolfenstein 3D Bananaheadquarters was on NPR last weekend and he said he was not okay with Johnny Walnuts! using his song "Ain't That America" in his campaign because he thought it was some mindless "rah rah America song," and failed to see the more critical subtext in the lyrics.
This is the same song that Mellancamp sold to a truck company for use in its "rah rah America" commercial jingle.
My point is that some liberal rock songs either are made to be ripped off, or have already been sold out so thoroughly to capitalism that it's pretty pointless for the artist to get offended when they do get ripped off.
/agree re: copyright infringement; see also: Shephard Fairey and the "Hope" fiasco".
I dunno, when it's someone actually fairly close to a political campaign (ie, this No Labels thing, and also the Rand Paul/Rush thing), instead of some random shitty street artist, I actually cringe a fair bit more. These are the assholes who are responsible for writing and shaping our intellectual property laws in an increasingly digital, but also increasingly corporate, world, but when presented with a real-world application of the laws they helped write, they're as befuddled as ICP trying to unlock the mysteries of magnets:
fucking derivitive works: how do they work?!
& it comes full circle, since I'm pretty sure Royal Oak's finest, Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope are the children of high-end bankers/generalized rich people.
Halliburton should have bribed the Gulf of Mexico into not burping up all that oil.
no news on recent Lunar eclipse?
perhaps this is an evidence of the prophecy, that Obummer is really going to take America down with his socialist-communist-fascist-Kenyan anti-colonialist ideology ?
Nigeria extradites Dick Cheney. Burkina Faso extradites Darth Vader. The Seychelles extradites Ghengis Khan, because…why not?
Sweden will extradite Julian Assange to face allegations of nerdish awkwardness and being too blonde to survive in Queensland…oh look he's ended up in Guantanamo! How did that happen? "I know our sandwiches are open but I didn't think our borders were."
Meanwhile Dick Cheney walks along a Nigerian beach devouring a mango seasoned with the stem cells of Nigerian orphans, throws his head back and laughs to the full moon.
The Tears of John Boehner
A Cycle of Five Haiku
By Serolf Divad
Boehner's flowing tears
meandering to and fro
streams in orange clay.
His eyes are buckets
awaiting gentle prodding
to release their flow.
Look into his eyes.
Do you see the anguished tears?
Not yet? Just you wait.
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub.
Whoosh, whooh, whoosh, whoosh, whooh, whoosh, woosh
Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip.
Why does Boehner cry?
Why do eagles soar on high?
That is why he cries.
My only regret is that I can only up-thumb this once.
No news on the Ron Paul ReLOVEution in the Federal Reserve? Seriously, the dude's set to take over whatever committee it is that watches the Fed.
I come to my Wonkette for news. I don't want to wake up in January to suddenly find I don't have enough gold and silver bullion to buy my hobo beans.
Finally: this infinite fiat power shall be scuttled.
/debate team nerd joke
Channel flipping in a drunken stupor this weekend I stumbled onto A Very Washington Christmas featuring the Obama family being held at gunpoint to watch a crappy
Christmasholiday pageant featuring Mariah Carey, Annie Lennox, some Disney show moppet looking preternaturally Olsen-twin skinny, and the teacher guy from Glee who is younger than the actors playing his students.They even frog-marched Obama on stage to pretend that the birth of Baby Jeebus meant something to his Muslin heart. Between this and the Princeton Acafellas, you couldn't pay me enough to be President in December.
Or the other eleven, for my part.
Julian may love World of Warcraft but he sure hates condoms…
Gnome means Gnome.
As they say in Alaska when they're feeling frigid.
Our fallen week, already? This does not bode well for the days leading to La Navidad.
(Horsedreamer_1 is an hispanohablante (brujo/witch). Burn him!)
Of course, this will still be Good News… for Juan Mc Cain.
This fallen week is so last week.
Bloomberg needs to take a lesson from history. Mult-Gazillian Dollar Gnomes don't fare well on our National Political Scene. In fact, the last one was a gentile, and he still went down in flames. Give Ross Perot a call before you commit more millions of your hard-stolen cash unwisely.
Or Meg Whitman.
Forgot about that bitter troll. Looking forward to doing it again.
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