Science has finally proven what was always totally obvious: People who get their news from Fox News are the stupidest fucking idiots to ever exist. These cretins have literally no idea what’s going on, with anything. Whether it’s believing that Republicans opposed TARP (it was a big business Republican program created by the Republican administration of George W. Bush, a Republican) or being unable to comprehend that average temperatures are rapidly rising (because it still snows in winter), the Fox News viewer is dangerous because the Fox News viewer isn’t the kind to just quietly contemplate all the wrong shit they know — they have to talk about it, to everyone, which is why you can no longer even call a motherfucking plumber in this Nation of Idiots without having to politely tell him a hundred times to please shut the hell up about Barack Obama being an African Soviet or whatever. (We know, come on, that’s why we voted for him! Of course we were wrong about that, but whatever.)
Anyway, the scientific evidence proves Fox News viewers believe completely wrong-ass backwards things about the stimulus, the economy, taxes, health care, the automobile industry bailout, unemployment, science, math and weather. Fox News viewers also have terrible taste in food, clothing, houses/trailers, music and religion, but scientists didn’t bother putting that in the report because come on. [Talking Points Memo]
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Unless there's subliminal messaging or porn sliced into the programming, I just don't understand how opinionated news appeals to slack jawed assholes.
Maybe it's that they don't have to think about what they're hearing, just blindly adopt the viewpoints.
Damn, I lost my 69p. I knew I should have sit down and shut up.
Want folks to vote you down?
Now you can shoot for 666.
Less slackjawed, more gritted teeth of righteous narrow-mindedness. Fox doesn't target the bubbas (who don't need to be reassured by a talking head that the government is out to get them) as much as the tight-assed middle and lower management types that are just smart enough to be dangerous and find solace in the echo chamber.
It's been around forever, but accelerated with the birth of first radio and later TV. If you don't like modern cultural norms in television (too racy! too irreligious! too morally relativistic) and music (too sexual! too urban! too rythmic) then you naturally gravitate towards talk formats, and the most successful talk formats have always been those that echo back what the listener/viewer already believes in some way. Espeically when that echo either scares the crap out of the audience or reassures it that it was right all along. Most store front preachers and televangelists work on the same principles, as do Ponzi schemes.
In fairness, the music today does suck. A lot. Although I do like that Katie Perry person.
She gets a tax cut too!
Like early Brittany, Ms. Perry's video's are very enjoyable.
Moderns like Crystal Castles, Blitzen Trapper, Metric, Belle and Sebastion are some damn fine artists.
Totally true about the echo factor. My mother's old biddy friends all sit around being terrified of their own shadows 24/7 and they love FOX. They want to hear that their perceptions are valid — and since they can only hold a thought in their heads for about an hour, they need a scare fix multiple times a day.
My mother stopped watching Fox, because, in her words, "They spend too much time talking about that n*gger, Obama.".
She also thinks that Glenn Beck is God and her favorite team is the Dallas Cowboys.
I haz a sad.
Send her an actual Ayn Rand book, my mom who reads white papers for a living, laughed out loud, she now watches CNN at least.
I'm really sorry. (Especially about the Cowboys. Ha ha.) And I suppose you're expected to spend your Christmas with her. Geez.
All the best to you for a happy holiday. I enjoy your comments.
They do get the prejudices reaffirmed multiple times a day on Fox, which seems to be much more popular and much easier than thinking.
Most TV sucks, but when not watching Fox, they seem to be following that Bristol Girl on Dancing.
Og like tax cuts for rich! Og think tax cuts good, Obama bad!!
There is a vey simple code, all right, and the message is, being a low-mentallity bottom-feeder is good, and the point is proved by slander of those with education, accomplishment, or a different class or ethnic background. Stoopid is known as Common Sense Conservatism, and they shall dwell in the house of their lard forever, amen.
"Self-justification is a full-time job." 'Reloj Bowden
1. Tell dipshits what they want to hear
2. Run ads
3. No ????? allowed
4. PROFIT$!
So FuxNews' viewers = retards? Bravo!
Someone has a keen grasp of the obvious.
Only dead fish go with the lamestream.
You should copyright that quick; I smell a Palin '12 presedential campaign slogan!
I believe that is actually a quote or paraphrase from her Friday slow newz day July 3 Speech of Quitifying, circa 2009. It contains some of my favorite non-complete sentences, such as: “Our destiny to be reached by responsibly developing our natural resources. This land, blessed with clean air, water, wildlife, minerals, AND oil and gas.” Such as.
Such. As.
And if you're watching Lamestream then Sarah or her supporters will show and club you like a halibut.
Palin/ Murdoch 2012!!!!!11!
Where's the birf certificate, Kangeroo Jack?
Don't be ridiculous. Someone who is richer than God doesn't stoop to become a president.
Why does it add up to 120%?
Because Fox viewers represent 20% more than the good old USA's entire poopulation.
It's the new "New Math."
Seriously – I'm not that bad with numbers and charts and crap.But wtf – you survey ten retards, you get ten responses, it adds up to 100%. Fuck this, I'm going back to the photos of Bo and his shrine. Fucking Fox bullshit.
Fox polls have a history of never adding up to 100% or less.
They just make it up as they go, its like that guy at the bar who always argues with precise percentages as a rebuff to your non-percentage based facts. Only losers know facts without percentages.
I had to take the "new math" way back when.
Still trying to figure out who I should sue.
100% is not enough (i.e "Im gunna givit 120 pursaint coach!")
Home schooling?
You're new to these parts, eh? That's one our favorite Fox memes. Over 120% of longtime Wonkette commenters know that one, just like 5 1/2 years Allan! And today we are all [stupid fucks/glue sniffers/David Vitter's diaper service].
No – not new. Obviously I just never pay attention.
That's outrageous. I was only four blocks away when they took that poll, and I can tell you that it was definitely 120 percent!
Who cares?
Al-Gebra was invented by a Muslim, Muhammad ibn Mūsā al-Khwārizmī (c. 780–850).
By the way, he wrote The Compendious Book on Calculation by Completion and Balancing. Fair and Balanced!
So then knowing Algebra is all terroristy muliny stuff. Then it makes sense that none of the dumb fuckers watching fox know anything about math, it would make them terrorist.
It's a supersized poll, just like their lunch orders, the shocks on the Rascal, and someday, their coffins.
"Of course we were wrong about that, but whatever."
Who are this assumed We? I've never been wrong about anything. (Except when I thought Leonardo played a lesbian in Titanic.)
If it wasn't Leonardo, then who did play the lesbian in "Titanic"?
Billy Zane?
Err… he did.
Gloria Stuart.
Join the surge– if there's anyone who's got brute-force, skintone, and masculinity under appropriate constraint —- to play the lead in "Michael Jackson King Of Pop" … it is the maestro of sensitivity himself, Mr DiCaprio.
Leo + Glove = Jacko
Concede to the inevitablility.
The idea gives me chills, but I'm not sure they're the right kind.
It's probably not fair to LdC that we knew him as a blushing ingenue and he can't overcome it with his later toughguy schtick. It's like expecting Shirley Temple to grow up and play gangster molls and femmes fatale in noir movies… the leopard can't change his spots. In this case that most cuddly little leopard with the soft eyes, tufty ears & snuggly nose.
So what. Demand the role of a lifetime, Leo.
Billie Jean, she's not your lover. Get angry and take it all.
First movie I saw Leo in was The Aviator, and I thought he was cute as button.
I just wanted to pinch his widdle mad-industrialist cheeks.
In a related story, a recent Fox News survey confirms that the Earth is flat and the Sun revolves around it, contradicting the liberal Democrat scientist conspiracy.
Additionally:
1) Logic is a purely liberal construct (Aristotle was a Muslin!).
2) 115% of scientists are researching ways of making abortion more fun.
3) 'Facts' are now called 'elitist liberal patriot-perplexers'; Glen Beck's thoughts are now classified as 'obviously correct American brain-Tweets'
If they believed in Leebrul facts they would realize that Glenn Beck bears a startling resemblance to a pile of albino shit.
Ha! Aristotle was Greek, and look what happened to their economy!
5 out of 4 Fox viewers do not understand fractions. Also.
Wait, that's like, uhh, umm, uhh, 20 percent, riiiight?
NO, THAT'S 5 1/2, ALLEN.
I think they actually say that over at Conservapedia.com. Well, close enough, anyway.
Well, if the earth is flat and the sun revolves around it . . .
Hmm, that means that they presently have the time zones in India all wrong. Quick call those people up and inform them!
I knew the liberals were up to something like that. I bet you Big Solar paid off all the scientists to say something like that.
Water is wet, ice is cold, the sun rises in the east and grass is green…….
I was watching Fox 'n Friends for a full 25 minutes this morning before I realized it wasn't Idiocracy.
Go away, 'baitin'!
FOX News: It's Got What Plants Crave
FOX News: It's Got
WhatPlants!CraveAnd they are all being fed a steady diet of Brawndo.
Response to 2011 State of the Union: "Well, our focus group shows that the speech was fucked up. Ah, Obama talked like a fag, and his shit's all retarded."
& that's just what Joe Manchin, from Ob's own party, will say.
Imagine what Johnny Isaakson has in mind!
I am just glad the poll didn't have any gotcha questions for Fox viewers on their feelings about Blacks and Latinos.
Facts have a way of always playing the race card on these good patriots.
Why do you hate America?
Because of Fox.
And no matter how many times you try and explain to a Fox views the actual facts and why they're wrong, they will just keep on insisting on something that's just plain not true. See our various interactions with the Breitbart trolls, for example. It's like banging your head against the wall.
I can't find the reference right now, but recently I heard about a study confirming that many, if not most, people tend to reject contradictory facts and only fall more deeply and firmly into mistaken concepts. Fox viewers watch Fox to be affirmed in their ideologies, not to learn actual facts.
Yep. We blind ourselves to realities that we don't like or can't comprehend – such as that our behavior might actually be harmful as opposed to fundamentally good. Explains a lot about the willingness of people to go along with atrocities like the Holocaust and slaughtering native people.
In fairness to Fox, though, that comforting self-affirmation is pretty much what every news organization did for most of the history of media. Hearst wasn't exactly trying to be 100 percent accurate. There was just this brief window where some organizations tried to act like the news shouldn't be completely driven by the profits that come with such an echo loop, although even there the choices of what to cover and what to ignore reflected biases in the audience that the editors reinforced.
"That's not true."
The only response any of my Repugnant co-workers can muster when confronted with facts. Then there's the twitching.
You can always tell the more erudite Fox viewers. They're the ones who attempt to attack the source, regardless of content.
Or like banging your 1st degree relative while sober, wearing protection and TOTALLY not into that — just as fruitless. AND ICKY.
It's not often your find a group of people who make the Flat Earth Society seem like a well informed bastion of scientific literacy.
ha ha…duh!
Fox News just reported on Fox News that the WPO poll showed that Fox News viewers are the BEST informed Americans!
Well, they're the best-informed with misninformation.
you librals, since when are facts true?
I believe the precise phrase they used was "are the bestest informed".
And then they all went to pray at the Wailing Wall…errrrmmmm… Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple.
Dumbshits get dumber.
Problem is you have all these idiots who never read a book (unless it's the Crayola bible) and think they know something and have some sort of whizdum. Proof that no knowledge is even more dangerous than a little.
I never had a crayola bible. But my brothers and I *did* get our hands on a Mormon publication that explained how ace being a Mormon is. We didn't read much of it, but we DID quickly discover that you could erase parts of the happy family of man pictures and the supporting text. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY GET UP TO
drats, I only got a tea party crayon book…..
Run Forrest!
Fox makes your average, everyday retard appear to be a Rhodes Scholar.
The truth is that Christian theology, like every other theology, is not only opposed to the scientific spirit; it is also opposed to all other attempts at rational thinking. Not by accident does Genesis 3 make the father of knowledge a serpent — slimy, sneaking and abominable. Since the earliest days the church, as an organization, has thrown itself violently against every effort to liberate the body and mind of man. It has been, at all times and everywhere, the habitual and incorrigible defender of bad governments, bad laws, bad social theories, bad institutions. It was, for centuries, an apologist for slavery, as it was the apologist for the divine right of kings.
– H L Mencken, Treatise on the Gods
and also…
The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man — say a Tennessee Holy Roller — is really very small.
Only diabeetus can save us. More candy in churches, stat!
Replace the Communist wafers with Neccos.
Lord, now this shit make sense to me.
Why do ClusterFox viewers write "T.G.I.F." on the tops of their shoes?
To remind them "Toes Go in First."
I certainly wouldn't count on ClusterFox fans to know their unknowns.
Perhaps Fox News viewers are—rather than woefully uninformed—simply incredibly inept at participating in polls.
Rassmussen would disagree.
No it is only more evidence that they are woefully retarded.
Happy Friday, we're FUCKED! Let's go have a beer.
I second that emotion.
I feel as if I am in a Twilight Zonian world lately, Some of my best friends (the conservative leaning ones, that is) were once just money hungry little peons, with no real threat to myself or my lovely yunguns – but now, HOLY SHIT!!! I had to start carrying my weapon with me just to get in a round of golf. Their batshit rants are not even close to reality. The real problem comes when I corner them about what they REALLY believe and what they heard of FUX News – they get that 1000yd stare – and I pull out my pistola AND START SHOOTIN!!!
Well, if you are shootin' on the golf course I hope you get a hole in one. Get it??? Hole in one. LOL
I don’t know whether to “LMFAO” or “OMG” that, so I’ll just continue to drink.
I like beer.
Does it make you a jolly good fellow?
Enough of them and I can be bulletproof or invisible.
I'll have what you're having
Good old quote, there.
Sometimes it makes me feel mellow (makes me feel melloooooow)…
An additional 87% of Fox viewers believe they will get that Camaro running again someday, and it will be bad ass.
Another 92% believe they're gonna get rich one of these days.
And mullets are still in style.
And that they will again fit into the jeans they wore in High School.
Hell yeah, I gotta squeeze into my bad ass red jeans for the Def Leppard reunion concert!
And that they look good with their shaved heads and goatees.
and that they're juicy sex machines
and if they ignore the summons long enough, it will magically go away.
Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
"Back in 82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile."
In high school, I got four touchdowns; in one game! If I hadn't knocked up the redheaded beast I could've been something.
Oh, crap…you WOULD go and post this on the very day that I'm getting my 1973 Chevy 2-door (Vlad the Impala) back from the mechanic after 4 years of sitting in a storage yard.
I'm somewhat ambivalent that I turned down his kind offer to slap on the custom headers and 3-inch Flowmasters…because those would be so badass.
I hear ya. I immediately thought of my ride and felt shame.
Great car, by the way.
And that the media keeps losing our wars. If they'd only let us win!
Best post of the day.
I'd still be glad to give Megyn Kelly a belly rub. She could even talk.
It's belly rub day at Wonkette!
The viewers also believe that whenever a Republican politician screws up, he or she magically turns into a Democrat.
BTW: to the list of stuff Fox viewers get wrong, please add "estimating resell value of mobile homes" and "number of times you're going to put that four-wheel-drive vehicile into four-wheel drive".
and ________wouldn't be a problem if everyone concealed-carrried. (carried concealed? had guns in our undies? whatever)
There's a new product that Fox could market: Gundies! The weapon that you pack in a whole way!
(Not sold in stores.)
Also: troll alert, all the most recent postings are at 0 thumbs up.
Trying to fudge our pee scores keeps them and their Hoverrounds off the streets, at least.
Lurker trolls are so boring.
Fuck anyone who fucks with my pees. Heaven knows, I work hard enough to get them. You think just anyone can fuck around on the wonket all day and avoid any meaningful work?
Oh yeah holster undies now you're packing heat with your meat.
Peeple don't get news from Fox "News". They get first class wingnut hackery delivered by bubbleheads and conspiracy theorists. Oh, and I'm also going to really blow your minds; Teahadists? They're just rightwing Republicans, nothing more. Jaw dropping, I know.
79% of Fuck Snooze viewers also believe George Soros is hiding under their beds.
he can't be, he is hiding under mine!
My master will continue with his nefarious plot to – donate some money to liberal causes. Mwa ha ha!
He's peeking out of my wife's blouse!
Sure politically uniformed, but just ask them about Spanx(tm), Scooters, or the Race to the Chase and their all good.
ignorance is strength!
All of their ignorances stem from their basic belief that Baby Jeemus created the world in 2065 bce and separated people of color to their respective land masses, not unlike a wash of color, which everyone knows must not be mixed with the whites.
And I have graded far too many papers today.
So I'm not the only one avoiding the pile o'papers awaiting stairs-tossing, er, I mean, "grading", by cavorting on our Wonkette….
Given the Wonkette demographics, I figure there has to be quite a bit of that going on. I foolishly promised the papers would be graded today so I know they're all checking online every five minutes for their grades. Twenty years of teaching and I myself still haven't learned.
Lure some grad students with promise of free food to your domicile and chain them down in a grading dungeon, problem solved.
I have reached my grading tolerance today. So here I am playing, and if my students knew it would only confirm for the right wingers that I am their biggest fear a liberal college professor.
Asking Fox News viewers anything about science is like asking the DC feral cat population about the White House dog.
Oh come on — FOX has to be right — otherwise The LORD wouldn't have blessed Glenn Beck's rally with that miraculous flock of geese, a sight never seen elsewhere in North America every fucking day.
Brain cancer killed Lee Atwater, who worked alongside Faux Nooz head Roger "Willie Horton" Ailes for Reagan and Bush I. The surgeons removed the cancerous lump and Rupert Murdoch stuck some coax cable into it. Presto: The Faux Nooz Channel!
(pre 9/11 Fair.org article: "The Most Biased Name In News:" http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1067 )
See, this is just the kind of connection-drawing that makes me… wait… Who? … Oh fuck, Martha, those SPICS are in the ALLEY again!
Did Fox News recently air a segment about Chinese restaurants in the NYC area serving aborted foeti? Because that's all my Teatard aunt could talk about over Thanksgiving.
Man, now I have a hankering for some Mu Shu Foeti.
But if you really want to clear your sinuses, go with the Kung Pao Foeti.
EDIT: Hey, my p is tumescent again! This is a joyous day indeed.
Fuck you wonket.
Me n my buddies here at the trailer park are the most informed people ever, since the creation of the universe 5,000 years ago. We have guns, gold coins an the Bible to protect us from the gays an illegals.
What about food insurance? Haven't you been listening to Glenn!?!
I'm afraid since Obama cut my unemployment benefits, I got no money for food insurance.
Well now that they secured that tax break for the top 2% I'm sure you'll be back to work in no time!
Yeah you never know when some gay Mexicans are going to show up outside in your yard looking to get married and recruit your kids.
Its the George Bush thing. If , for example, you can coax enough idiots to believe that prayer will cure their cancer, diabetes, and heart disease, then you can cut funding for education, universities, the NIH, AND get more of those same idiots to vote for you!
You already have idiots thinking AA and a mysterious "higher Power" door knob will cure their drinking problems. Americans really do need to grow some rationality.
Murdoch must be so proud. He’s like the father of 100 million retards.
Leave Trig alone!
OK. He's like Sarah Palin's uterus on steroids. Better?
The only thing I wanna see Sarah Palin's uterus on is a bed of steamed rice, see goo-girl, above.
Fox News math says more like 17 billion.
Have to count all the bigots in hell I suppose. I'm sure Foxnews is the #1 news channel down there.
I'm sure Foxnews is
the #1 news channel down there.their proudest achievement.Hundreds of thousands of TVs in the appliance department at Walmarts across the nation can't be wrong !
Is anyone in the least way, even in the faintest way, surprised? If so, there is a polar bear who has a great real estate deal on an iceberg who you should see.
'Twas earlier reported, that without a doubt,
The librulz are smarter, so give a big shout
They're atheists too and gives Jebus a pout
Now here's some newz about stockings so fair,
Libtards are more monogamous, so there, so there….
Yes, but do they watch Fox News because they are idiots, or are they idiots because they watch Fox News?
Yes.
So are you saying the teatards are caught on the horns of a double interrogative or the even hornier double pejorative?
Well considering one of FOX's insightful headlines was "How often do you think about touching other people's private parts?" I'd say they're just horny.
often? very often? extremely often? 190% of me says yes.
I believe it's called a fatback loop.
Fare: You have EARNED every one of your p-pts. And I salute you.
Suffice it to say, Fox has no reason to break the cycle.
And when the fart sitting along in front of the TEE VEE do they make a sound?
No, butt they sure stink 120%.
this is the greatest enigma in the history of humanity since the Zeno's paradoxes
Well, it is pretty chilly today.
We is dumb. Yes, FoxNews viewers are the top performers in this race to the bottom but stupidity isn't strictly the domain of wingnuts. Keith and Rachel spent the first year of Hopey's term telling us how great our new overlord was even as he ran from every battle and abdicated the details of policy. Hopey was so smart, so wise, so beyond the rest of us, he operated on a completely different plane we were told. Even now, after all we've witnessed from this chickshit empty suit of a President, there are millions of us who won't or can't accept reality. They cling to their belief in his infallibility. Nothing can ever be his fault and if things don't go as planned, it's because some of us aren't cheering and clapping loud enough.
Right. Smart money knows that President Kucinich would have saved America by now.
Liar! President Nader!
Actually Nader would of passed universal health care, probably by refusing to sign anything until they passed it. Obama could of done that, but than he would of not been elected class president again.
Ok, two questions:
1) Do you actually believe this to be true?
2) If so, can whatever you're on be smoked, or do I need to inject it directly into my eyeball?
One of the great things about this blog, besides all the buttsecks, is that people generally adhere to grammar, except in the case of typos caused by intoxication. We say fuck all we want and know the difference between "then" and "than." That's how we like it.
/bitchiness off
Really. What did we expect? Him to live up to the mandate he swept into office on?
And btw, Rachel's love affair with Hopey McSpineless only lasted until he caved on his first stimulus bill.
I don't think you have watched Maddow since about Feb of 2009.
Not only are they the stupidest people on earth, they are 120% sure they are the smartest people on earth.
Waking up from sleeping in my own dung, I shook my head, looked at this post and yawned. Then I turned on Fox News and saw that Jesus had declared war on liberals and sighed. Went back to sleep in my own dung. World safe at last.
This poll just proves that they're the MOST well-informed people on earth, because they haven't been infected with all that liberal propaganda that the liberal media, liberal academia, and liberal science calls "reality."
I believe Dick Cheney once said we create our own reality. Thus, Fox is the republican reality.
That 120% also believes that they'll be mega-rich one day and shouldn't have to pay taxes. They believe this will occur without the need for them to learn, read, or think. They would pray for wealth, but are too afraid to kneel with all of the urbans and Muslins in this country, all of whom are just waiting for the Real Merican to kneel down so that they can shove their hot, meaty Gay Liberal Agenda down their god-fearing throats.
Damn! They're on to us.
Of course, they would get mega-rich a lot sooner if it wasn't for all those welfare moms.
After close observation, I think a lot of them are pinning their hopes on their kids becoming rich sports and entertainment stars. No reading, writin' or thinkin' involved, just get that kid to throw a ball good or dress up tarty and sing.
Or drive a car what only turns left.
I am prettu sure Fox viewers know all about Tarp- they have them in their yards to cover the extra cars up on blocks, the old appliances and on the porch for the ripped up sofas .
Really, the biggest blighty homes in my area are the ones with the republican/tea party bumperstickers all over their 8 crapped out propped-up-on-cinderblocks late model Amuricun cars.
But the best part about the study is that the more Fox News respondents reported watching, the more they were misinformed. It's like watching Fox News is actually sucking what little knowledge they originally possessed right out of their heads.
Factually: when this condition presents there are not remaining family member to be caretakers, so they have to go on public services to survive.
Hurray! All my pee points are back! But is this a Breitbart trick? Are they lulling me into a false sense of pee-curity before they drop a massive P-bomb on us all, mutating our PNA and turning this into one of the worst cases of Peenocide the world has ever known?
Only time will tell.
LOL. I like how you peeployed all the Pees.
u love gettin p'd on.
If it does happen, you will have been quite peescient.
Peenocide? OMG, that sounds almost too filthy even for Wonkette!
Somebody keeps peeing on my head and telling me it's rain.
Someone keeps peeing on my head and telling me it is trickle down economics.
Blasphemy!
FuxNoyz. Volume dictates logic.
Look, there are only so many IQ points to go around, just like p scores. Someone has below 100.
Thank you Fox News for keeping us infromed.
Fox is launching a new broadcast in response: The Dunning-Kreuger News Hour.
I thought that was Faux & Friends.
"which is why you can no longer even call a motherfucking plumber in this Nation of Idiots without having to politely tell him a hundred times to please shut the hell up about Barack Obama being an African Soviet or whatever."
Plumbers too? I thought it was just the idiots Sears would send to repair my washer/dryer.
Wonkette Headline Most Obvious Writing on Earth
And Fox News viewers aren't dangerous because of the talking they do so much as all the breeding they do (since condoms are Satan's balloons).
The Dumbfuckening – WIN
Sounds like an M Night Shamalan movie. At the end, the dumbfuck realizes she isn't just a Fox News viewer, she's a paid pundit!
It's the Dunning-Kruger effect. If civilizition is to survive, we have to find some way around that.
Rumors of a bizarre concept called "results-based meritocracy" have made the rounds, but it's just so much easier to pray for Daddy Sky-Cop to smite everyone you don't like.
Hey, don't dis mutant anal tumors.
Yes, didn't one keep Rush out of Viet Nam to ensure for us his presence talking to tards on the radio.
You can't talk, educate or reason somebody out of being afraid of the dark, crowds, spiders, blacks, muslims, liberals, whatever. These people are scared shitless. They are hanging on to their shittly jobs, houses, spouses, toys and trinkets by their dirty fingernails. They go to church weekly to get their ears tickled and watch Fox for the same reason. They support each other and increase the echo-chamber effect of their beliefs. To disagree with them is to become an enemy to be feared and destroyed. Murdoch, Gingrich et. al. have discovered the fucking Motherlode and they will mine it to their dying day.
Or our dying day, which will probably come sooner than it needs to, thanks to the craziness they generate.
It also may come sooner than it needs to from starvation or wild weather caused by one specific thing Fox misinforms its moronic viewers on.
True enough.
Can I use that premise for a screenplay? I will cut you in on the deal. Especially on The Dumbfuckening II
Is that the one where it starts off with a 400 lb red faced man draped solely in a sheet sized 'Stars and Stripes' fashioned like a toga screaming "America!" as he greedily eats the contents of an overflowing Walmart toilet?
So, I just got done reading the findings, and by far my favorite factoid is that 39% of people who watch MSNBC every damn day are either birther or birth-curious.
They learned that drinking their Morning Joe.
And why hasn't Fox News reported on the allegation that Glenn Beck raped and killed a 12-year-old girl in 1990?
So its true he sold his soul to the devil. Everything makes sense now.
It's this aggressive ignorance which has me thinking about becoming a republican. Nothing would make me happier than fucking all these angry cunts in the ass with their patriotism and free markets.
You bastard! That's the title of my doctoral dissertation!
Really? You find doughy white guys with bad hair attractive?
Swoon!
Hey, at least it puts her in a buyer's market. Let's hear it for alcohol and low standards–wooo!
Are they stupid, or just ignorant? Because you can fix ignorant.
I think ignorant is not knowing things. Stupid is being told bullshit and not realizing it.
What's amazing (but not surprising) is Fox's misleading and juvenille response:
In a statement to the New York Times' Brian Stelter, Clemente disparaged the University of Maryland, where the study was done.
"The latest Princeton Review ranked the University of Maryland among the top schools for having ‘Students Who Study The Least’ and being the ‘Best Party School’ – given these fine academic distinctions, we’ll regard the study with the same level of veracity it was ‘researched’ with," Clemente said.
"For the record, the Princeton Review says the University of Maryland ranks among the 'Best Northeastern Colleges," Stelter notes. "It was No. 19 on the Review’s list of 'Best Party Schools.'"
Knowing what the fuck is actually going on is elitist.
after all of the "whew-ha … Obama is against the constitution. WE Knew iT !!" self-gradulatory celebratin', I tried to put it in perspective ( the ruling that obamacare is unconstitutional ) … the Speeding to the Rescue Metaphor: http://goodflagbetsy.wordpress.com/metaphor-under…
Fox is news for people who don't want to face reality.
Fox successfully courts the ignorant and intolerant. Their viewers don't want to know the truth, they want their prejudices and beliefs reinforced. Fox does it for them several times a day. Thus, Fox is successful. Agressively seeking ignorance is one way to look at Fox viewers. Their audience is mostly old folks and those who live in states with failing education systems. They tend believe the stuff that comes out of the TV with no training to ever question what they are being told and to think critically. We are really fucked, because the first thing republicans do is cut education funding to ensure they have a continous supply of folks who don't know and don't want to know anything more than who is leading the NASCAR point totals.
The Fox brainwashed aren't just wrong, they are loud wrong.
I labor for Law Enforcement. And my uniformed (mostly white male) coworkers are apparently the most oppressed group of people ever. "Fuck those hippies! And unions, um, except the PBA. And fuck government and taxes and socialism!" There is ONE guy on the job who tries ever so patiently to explain reality to these misguided souls (including the ones out on DI spending their days bitching on Facebook about welfare queens whilst also bragging about just having fixed his own roof). These are (for the most part) decent guys who would seriously help anyone in need. But that Obama and his taxes are socialism which is always evil because Hitler. It's mind boggling.
Um. Buttsecks? That's what y'all say when you're feeling depressed and all out of snark, right? Teh sexybutt stuff gets you the thumbs up, right?
That one got me good, thanks for that.
Which came first, the idiot or Fox News?
Rupert is living the dream – using Saudi money to get richer and very effectively pushing his apparent political beliefs.
That's some sad shit.
Fox is joined by talk radio, educational slippage, other MSM, the interwebz and a post 9/11 government that is increasingly intrusive…all this scares people and they want to be on what they see as the winning side.
Nobody likes a loser…and there are no losers on Wonkette.
"there are no losers on Wonkette."
Until the trolls show up.
Yeah, there is that.
Our University of Phoenix studies indicate that Fox News viewers are the MOST informed. So there you go, mister Harvard law degree poopy-pants. We're also more handsome and can kick your ass.
Maybe we can implement a program
to avoid any more of these Ken Layne/plumber clashes.
Advertisements must come with a little elephant or donkey or 'no labels!' discreetly in the corner so we can surround ourselves with only like minded sane types and the elephants can have their fun, whatever it is that those people do…talk about their arsenals and apocolypse seed canisters and so forth (yes I have no conservative friends)
"Advertisements must come with a little elephant or donkey"
Or just a little fish or not. Avoid the fish, it's turned.
A lot of Foxtards don't simply lack knowledge – they HATE it. IQ points are no better than scabies to them. People smarter than them can (& do) rob them blind & find ways to get away with it … they both envy their cunning & despise their success.
Doesn't hurt the whole "dumbing-down" project when popular culture constantly says the borderline-sociopath alpha-jock is the pinnacle of humanity, while introverts & brainiacs never get laid & are lower than whaleshit in the social pecking order.
Wrong again. But you "could of", comma splice.
Big Journalism's Dana Loesh totally evicerates this study with facts.
http://bigjournalism.com/dloesch/2010/12/18/alter…
This bogus study was done by World Public Opinion, an organization funded largely by left wing groups like George Soros' Tides Foundation.
Furthermore the questions are based upon fake "facts", like those routinely fabricated by the Left's puppet, Dan Rather.
If Fox was so bad, no one would watch it, and "progressives" would not be so desperate to censor it. That the left saw the necessity to make up lies, proves the point. Otherwise they would just expose the supposed untruths broadcast by Fox, but they can't.
Examples of the inaccuracies, please?
No, mouth breathers watch Fox to get their own wingnut ideas thrown back at them, so it makes them feel validated.
And, yes, in order to make idiots feel validated, Fox HAS to make shit up.
The questions I saw were all verifiably valid I.e. The stimulus did in fact create jobs – there's no way to wriggle free of that one but again fox viewers thought it COST jobs.
Sigh.
Did you even bother to read the link?
"There's no way to wriggle free of [the claim that the stimulus created jobs]"? Really? The stimulus was sold by those same wise economists like Christina Romer as the only way to keep unemployment from going over 8%. It's now nearly 10% and we've lost several millions of jobs, probably permanently, and Romer wisely bailed from Obama long ago.
The stimulus "stimulated" so much private job creation that employers are sitting on mounds of cash, afraid to spend it to expand or hire in Obama's rabidly anti-business climate.
The only jobs the "stimulus" created are in Washington D.C. and around the water coolers at the government employee union lounges.
The "stimulus" was such a success that no one in Washington dares to use the word any more.
Obama may as well have stolen our kids' futures and flushed them down the crapper.
How do y'all Obammunists wriggle out of that one? Ya blame Bush, of course!
But oh yes, you Obama voters are the intelligent ones, and the Fox viewers are the dummies. Fool.
A little melodramatic are we? Your rhetoric reminds me of Moscow Mollie's in the early 60s. So to be Fair And Balanced: here goes…
The repressive imperialist conspiracy will never defeat our beloved leader or deter the people in their courageous pursuit of their communist ideology!
There, balanced. How'd I do?
"If Fox was so bad, no one would watch it"
And No One does!
BTW, we wouldn't dream of censoring Fox. It's one of our primary sources of great, batshit crazy lead-ins.
As every sane person knows, Universities clearly have a liberal bias. As does Science, Government, every other nation, Empirical 'evidence' etc…
It's not just Fox News. This entire "culture" is a steaming heap of stupid. I blame the Doritos.
Cheetos don't help much either.
Lessee…..Fox News viewers are "misinformed" because they do not understand that all Obama policies and all liberal orthodoxy are……true and unquestionalble !!!
How conveeeeeenient!!!
For example, Fox News viewers don't believe in "climate change", which everyone knows is a weasly lib evasive term for man-made global WARMING. It's the latter that fox viewers don't believe in —- and judging from what's happened to Al Gore's hopes for cap-and-trade, that's now an argument the majority of Americans agree with. Or perhaps you didn't notice that Gore has cut his climate lobbyist staff, and that the cap-and trade exchange set up in Chicago has quiety folded its tents.
Then there's the claim that the stimulus created or saved jobs, which the survey says is the "correct" answer. Well, how would they know, and how can anyone know something no one can MEASURE? Even the CBO didn't have the stones to put forth a testable methodology for their claims.
And about Obamacare not adding to the deficit — hah!!! Where's the money for it going to come from? How can putting 30 million people into the health care system without vastly increasing taxes or premiums, or borrowing gobs of money to pay for their care, NOT add to the deficit? NAME ONE SUCH federal program that HASN'T added to the deficit, or is just plain broke and owing. Social Security? Medicare? Medicaid?
Finally, one of the oldest logical fallacies is to simply declare your intellectual opponents uninformed or worse. If you clowns could actually make arguments instead of hurling feces from your cubicles, you would not find yourselves raising tiny fists of impotent fury against conseratives. Instead you seek solace in self-serving "polls" consisting of very tiny self-selective samples.
In the months to come you will all be forced to watch as Obama and Progressivism begin their long circling of the bowl. I can foresee the females among you crying and keening and pulling out your armpit hair in fistfuls of despair. As for the men among you: there are no men.
"borrowing gobs of money to pay for"
War. 100% waste, fraud, corruption, murder. It costs us $1 million to kill four goatherds, two women and three children in a mud hut. And then we lose.
Defense spending. 98% waste, fraud, corruption. (I cost America's sorry ass a few million in the Reagan years. My "conservative" hammer was cheap at $5000). And it's gotten much, much worse since I worked it. "Deficits don't matter, Reagan proved that" -Dick Cheney. Progressives? How soon you forget.
Fox? You must be kidding.
As for intellectual opponents, we don't get any here. We just get incoherent shouting and insulting jerks like you. You don't bring the funny and that's the purpose of this blog. Did you know that? You trolls are all O/T, all of the time. What do you expect us to think of you?
*runs hand along chest and upper arms*
no hair here, mate. Imagine you've never gotten close enough to a real liberal woman to know what hair is where or not? Or indeed, any woman for that matter i presume.
Yes, Miss T, I concur. This sounds like the typical rant of a classic dumbass turd who wouldn't know what to do with a woman they're not paying for services from. And even then I am certain the sex worker has to try not to roll her eyes as she walks him through the process.
"…There are no men" AH HA HA HA Seriously, effinidiotwrong, how old are you? 8? What a pathetic, childish "retort". My gawd, you certainly help prove the (obvious) point of this Wonkette dispatch.
Full
Of
Xhit.
STOP PICKING ON TRIG!!!
All i have to say is I'm so fucking tired of all this Democrat vs Republican bullshit that's going on in this country. I hate the Republicans as much as any liberal, but I hate Democrats just as much. The shear reason is that no one in gov't that represents us actually represents us or cares. The Democrats have effed us just as much as the Republicans. while it all dates back to Nixon taking us off the gold standard it probably goes further back to FDR miss handling the quick and shoddily thought out Social Security system which was out of date by about 1950. Our banking/finical system, industrial system and political system is a sad joke. For years the gov't and politicians and Corporate America have raped and squeezed this country dry. The Gov't has totally forgotten about the little guy. Small business, mom and pop, the farmer. the independent inventor, and the factory worker. You can thank Clinton for passing the NAFTA bill. you can thank Bush senior for no new taxes, you can thank Reagan for trickle economics, Greenspan for being wrong with structuring and predicting the economy, you can the W for all his wonderful idiocy too much to list here, and Obama for the bailout though I agree it wasn't his bailout it was Bush's bailout. I'm pissed that Obama hasn't asserted himself more with the gov't Congress is a bloated ineffective joke of itself. they have too much power and do little to show for the huge amount of money we sink into them. They get benefits packages for "retirement" which basically means they do they're term they're pretty much set for life. They get insane kick backs and gifts from Lobbyists. WTF? The two party system doesn't work, The Tea Party is nothing short or republican lite and no one seems to care. Fox News and most major news media outlets don't give a shit about you all they care about is milking as much money out of you and you know what they'll tell you when you bitch? It's only TV. *sigh* how i long for the days of Walter Cronkite. It's just sad how news corporations are owned and operated. BTW did anyone stop to notice that all polls taken on the news almost never add up to 100% what kind of math is that? Oh well sorry for ranting this kind of stuff just makes me so mad, but I feel just so utterly powerless to do anything about it, because it seems like people just don't care enough to do anything about it.
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