Did you hear there is a new poll out today about infamous white person Sarah Palin and the office of the presidency? There is! “What is this, a day of the week?” you ask. Yes, it is. According to an ABC News/Washington Post poll (two news organizations wanted to pay for this dumb thing), six in ten Americans would never even think about voting Sarah Palin for president. So that’s nice. But this is the same result that has been occurring for months on end, and yet pollsters still are asking this question pretty much daily, because a news story manufactured out of a poll about Palin running for president is the closest thing they will get to her making a nip slip. And thus the American people are sick of being asked about her in a never-ending Dr. Seuss sort of way.
Will you vote for Sarah Palin?
No.
Would you vote for her if she’s failing?
No.
Would you you vote for her with bailout railing?
Would you you vote for her with lamestream nailing?
Stop asking me about that woman.
Would you you vote for her on Alaska whaling?
Would you you vote for her on illegals jailing?
Stop calling here. Remove me from your list.
Would you you vote for her, Hillary Clinton prevailing?
Would you you vote for her, Mitt Romney impaling?
Seriously. Fuck off. I’m not voting for her for president.
Would you you vote for her if we stopped e-mailing?
Would you you vote for her if we stopped flailing?
Yes, fine.
BREAKING: AMERICAN PEOPLE CRYING OUT FOR SARAH PALIN PRESIDENCY
This most recent poll was embargoed until today — because it might have gotten lost in all the other polls this week asking if the American public supports Sarah Palin for president — but it was actually conducted from December 9 to 12. So you know what that means: Opinions may have changed since then! Time for a new poll! [CNN]
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If you don't like the results of a poll, keep asking different (and dumber) people until it says what you want.
"Would like to see her dance on a pole?"
Would you like to see her in a hole?
Would you like to see her smoke a bowl?
Would you like to see her smoke a pole?
You win.
Yes please.
And Dick Cheney said there was only one "shovel-ready project" in US America.
"Would like to see her dance on a pole?"
I would like to send her to Poland
and what have the poles ever done to you? haven't they been through enough?
I'd rather see her prance upon the hidden lance…
I would love to see her in a box, I do not like that bitch on FOX. I would not like her here or there, I wouldn't like her ass anywhere. I do not like this half-guv Palin, and if she's elected this negro's bailin'.
(slow golf clap). Well played Sir. Well played indeed…
Most excellent rhymes. If I credit you may I use it just for Christmas Eve dinner about two hundred times?
The Twat in the Hat.
I think to make it actually rhyme you have to name it The Twat on the Pot.
Fuck rhyming. I just like to infer she's a twat.
It rhymes the way the Brits say it.
One of the many things I learned listening to The Streets.
Or just plain say it.
'Oh, the Racists You'll Know'
It's a lot cheaper and easier to conduct a poll than it is to do actual reporting. You don't even have to be a stenographer that way.
and if it's a fox news poll, you don't even need to worry about the percents adding up to 100–who cares?
percents adding up to 100 are a librul elitist plot to impose kenyan communist socialism.
Only elitists do math!
titz or gtfo
I took a quick glance at the screen shot and thought for a minute that 'Back Palin' was the name of one of her kids.
And that graph should read "FATback Huckabee".
that's what they call it when the Todd blows his load on her tramp stamp.
The Tattoos of Sarah Palin. You know she's got'em. What (and where) are they? This is what America wants to know, and it wants to know before she gets much saggier.
That's one of the things Our Wonkette is hiding from us, with the (purportedly) topless b/w shot of Sarah Barracuda from her beauty-pageant days.
"The Tattoos of Sarah Palin" is one of those rejected coffee-table book concepts, sorta like "The Erotic Fiction of Erma Bombeck."
And limited-edition gold-plated CD of her flute recital:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCl0b77qB1w
When you start to look like your passport photo, it's time to give up swinging
Before she gets saggier? It's far too late for that.
Would you poke her in the ass?
Would you nail her in the grass?
Would you pee into her glass?
Does her voice give you gas?
No!
No!
Yes!
Yes!
193% favor those three. Great work Fox mathematicians.
Now they're just doing it to be mean.
those are the same mathematicians who presented evidence in "Gore vs Bush" case
I don't want to blame the graphics dept. & let the rest off the hook, but the above is a situation where one wants a bar-graph, not a pie-chart, since levels of favourability (?) are being compared. I don't think even FOX would try to contend the population of the U.S. is twice itself.
Eight questions before Mr. Mythical Average 'Merkun told the pollster to fuck off?! That cat has wayyyy more patience than me….
And how's this for an appetite inducing image just before lunch: Palin nip slip – still perky and moist from a Trig feeding?!!!! Go ahead, eat your strawberries and cream now!
Oh, barf.
My mother does this:
Do you want something to eat? No
Do you want me to make hashbrowns? No
Cereal? No
I have some leftover lasagna. No
You don't want anything to eat? No
How about a sandwhich? No.
So does mine. So I moved continent.
Twice.
We call it "Joycing" in my house.
Tell mom I said hi.
Your mom I like, she just makes me hungry.
These pap, shill pollsters and journalists just make me nauseous.
I suppose the difference is the motive behind the persistence.
Gawd, my Mom does that too. I have to physically restrain her to get her to reboot.
Is there some kind of blog called Shit My Mom Does that Drives Me Insane. If so, I need to visit. I've been Christmas shopping with her all afternoon and I need to vent.
"Go, Dog, Go!"
I believe the technical term is "mush!"
There is always that 1/3 that will vote for her even if she used puppies and kittens for target practice. 1/3 of America is brain damaged. I blame Lite beer.
This sort of behavior seems static, yer 1/3rd are teaturds premise, even if in previous years we called them something else. Is this the sorta thing that drove Gregor Cantor nutz studying small infinities and large infinities and this is some sorta cardinality thingie like the infinity of real numbers is bigger than the infinity of odd integers, but both are infinities? To help her 2012 chances, maybe our fave Snowbillie Grifter could shoot some cardinals. That might piss off the Vatican and some DizzyDeansters in St. Louis, but what the hey. Yes, yes, there's Phoenix too, but shooting them would yield mixed responses and we talked about Vietnam earlier this week.
No one in Arizonastan would mind if a few of their underperforming steriod junkies were surgically removed from the finite set of living human beings. They sucked in Chicago, they sucked in St Louis, and they suck in Phoenix. They're sort of like that team that always loses to the Globetrotters, necessary for other teams to seem "good." And probably highly lucrative.
Just not Pujols & La Russa. They're down with Glenn Beck.
These are teabaggers, they would consider shooting puppies and kittens a positive; they'd be even happier if she added babies of a certain shade.
Bhopal Air Freshner or Cholera in a Can is a less toxic brand than Palin.
Palin/McCain 2012 ! The antics of First-Dude Todd and Second-Lady Cindy would keep us distracted from the collateral damage.
The media people seem to think that, if they keep giving the unaccomplished famewhore every bit of coverage she wants, people somehow turn around and stop hating her, instead of the reality that all sane people just get sicker and sicker of that horrible stupid shrieking banshee.
The media people don't give two shits WHAT the people think, as long as they tune in. And, they still do.
She's in the news because she's famous / she's famous because she's is in the news. This isn't journalism, it's a symptom of the end times.
Palin is truly the Paris Hilton of politics.
Paris Hilton is cuter. And I'd bet she's smarter. Not that that's saying much.
And her voice doesn't make eardrums bleed.
Isn't that like a snake eating its tail?????
I will not vote Palin even if she put a caribou picture with a target mark on my back…
I thought the chart said "back pain." No, it's more like a pain in the ass.
She's America's Fartbox.
And who will tongue-punch it?
Todd's business-partner?
Its the Britney Spears syndrome. People magazine had their highest sales when she was on the cover, now Sarah Palin does that for news magazines. Unless there's some wacko tea bag related story, sales plummet. As do comments on Wonkette.
oh christ, does this mean we are gonna have to see palin upskirts on teh interwebz? I can handle the daughters, sure, but not that mama grizzle.
I'm shocked we still haven't gotten one from Bristle yet.
the unbearable sadness of truth.
Can the lamestream media please put aside these distractions and get back to 7×24 coverage of her Twitter feeds?
Let's admit, that since the end of DWTS, we all need to up the intake of Sarah distractions from our unemployment realities.
They are rightie Republicans – They will vote for whoever Rush Limbaugh tells them to vote for. Rush won't decide until he sees which way the winds blows (and who blows him) and where the money goes.
You're profile am funny. All clowns, no lions.
Palin does come out ahead in some polls, though; a majority said yes to the questions, "Do you support Sarah Palin shutting up and going away so you never from her again?" and "Do you support putting Sarah Palin on a rocket and launching it out of the Solar System, to drift aimlessly in interstellar space, forever, like the Voyager probes?"
The spacecraft was a long way from home. I thought it might be a good idea to have it take one last glance homeward. From Saturn, the Earth would appear too small for Palin to make out any detail. Our planet would just be a point of light, a lonely pixel…Earth is a mere point in a vast, encompassing cosmos, but no one had ever seen it as such… From this vantage point, our obsession with nationalism is nowhere in evidence…on the scale of worlds, humans are inconsequential, a thin film of life on an obscure and solitary lump of rock and metal.
And so Palin looked back at the pale blue dot, and said, "HEY, EVERYONE! LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
Carl Sagan, "The Pale Blue Twat"
Well, the newsmedia (like certain political haw haw blogs) have to negotiate two popular desires. On the one hand, very few people like Sarah Palin. On the other hand, many people love mocking Sarah Palin (because they do not like her very much). So "Americans will not vote for Sarah Palin, even for aging homecoming queen" is pretty much a win-win in the same way "Let's all laugh at Bristol Palin's terrible dancing for a full season of teevee" worked out well for ABC. They're like the reality tv villains of politics.
This comment offends Omarosa.
Who?
I go back and forth. She would horrify the world but on the other hand, it would be kind of fun to watch a clueless president freak out. Like Shrub with a bigger dose of zany.
The capitol mall needs a rifle range, doesn't it?
I have dibs on the jet-ski rental concession on the reflecting pool!
That's so close to being a President Camacho initiative it's not even funny.
Funny unless she wins the tug-of-war over the nuclear football on her first day.
"Piper! Would you take that thing away from Trig. He might hurt himself."
Nothing like that would ever happen; Sarah has no concern for her childrens' welfare.
if you're looking for a military coup, that might be the way to go.
Every new poll result makes Team Sarah realize they have to campaign that much harder to get her message (whatever the fuck it might be, besides, "Hey, I'm on the teevee!") out. So please, MSM, leave her alone for a while. She's ours to play with; we found her first.
I express my objection to more time-wasting coverage of this this dumb bitch by refraining from commenting on this post.
I share your distain for this horrid snowcunt – So, to Wonkette I say, "Consider this my non-post in protest of your coverage of the woman we all wish would get caribou-ed in her yooohooo!"
P.S. – Thank you to the pee fairy for giving me 30ish whore diamonds for a recent quote I made – one that I DIDN'T EVEN THINK WAS THAT GOOD!
Funny you should mention that, because I *almost* made an OT comment on some Ken-or-Jack-rains-despair-down-upon-your-head post yesterday to thank them for NOT posting anything about Sarah or Bristol for several days running, but I thought to myself, "Why jinx it?"
I remember this book. In the end, Uncle Sam I Am gets the guy to vote for her just once and he returns home to find that all his utilities stopped working.
I just can't get enough Sarah Palin polls, Sarah Palin stories, Sarah Palin photos, Sarah Palin recordings, Sarah Palin teevee shows, Sarah Palin books, Sarah Palin T-shirts and Sarah Palin merchandise. I'm betting that by 2012 we'll have a Sarah Palin-based economy.
That's what the "P" stands for. It's Palin Points, which are legal tender under the 2nd Amendment.
LOL. Sarah Palin-based economy. The denominations would be unique. A loaf of bread would be 2 twats.50 and my co-pay would be 30 khuntedges. I don't want to think what a car would cost.
4 $now Machine Units. Plus the Trig tax.
Would you watch her on a hunt?
Would you watch her be a cunt?
I will not watch her on a hunt.
I will not watch her be a cunt.
I will not fuck her wasted on a blunt.
I won't vote for her in a pinch,
I won't vote for her v. the Grinch;
I don't believe she'll keep us free,
She'll outlaw MSNBC.
Her speeches swirl with mindless sound
While turkeys die in the background;
She'll fight communists and lesbo porn
With tax cuts and with tort reform;
And to Iran her wrath will turn
To hasten Jesus Christ's return;
She'll turn our youthful innocents
Into pregnant teens for abstinence;
With her gift of verbal diarrhea
She'll protect our ally, North Korea.
The only advantage Sarah offers —
She'll quit in two years to fill her coffers.
I do not want this witless spoor
To plague good newsmen anymore —
She'll fix the nation through and through
Like she did to that caribou.
So just in case this is not clear
Please throw that half-gov on her ear;
So don't persist in asking me,
I will not vote for Sarah P.
I really did try to fist you more than once..
A masterpiece. As usual, the Wookiee wins!
The next poll should be:
Would you rather vote for Sarah Palin or have a boil implant?
They might change their mind though when Obama chooses her as his running mate in 2012. Imagine that ticket and all the exploding heads!
Sadly, before I realized Sarah Palin was a loud-mouthed religious zealot & not an outsider (the latter being how she was sold in the wake of ousting entrenched pork-master Frank Murkowski), I suggested to a friend an Obama/Palin national unity ticket. (This conversation was in March '08, by the by.)
Come on kids, let's face it, America's over. The debt now exceeds the GDP. Let's elect that screeching harpy so we can at least go-out with a few laughs! OMG, that would be so funny!
I, for one, will never get sick of telling people I don't like Sarah Palin.
And I for one, will never stop throwing my drinks in the faces of those 4 in 10 that would vote for a Sarah Palin.
Wasting booze? In this economy?!!
In the words of Stephen Colbert:
"Polls are just a reflection of reality, and reality has a clear liberal bias"
Edit: See, this is why I love teh Internets. I just read this on Wikipedia:
when Seuss was challenged by political columnist Art Buchwald for never having written a political book, Seuss took a copy of the book and crossed out "Marvin K. Mooney" and wrote in "Richard M. Nixon." Buchwald was so delighted that with Seuss's consent he printed the text as his column for July 30, 1974. Nixon resigned ten days later on August 9th.
Seuss never wrote a political book, but he did create some insane-ish wartime propaganda.
Yep, I knew about those–interesting contrast between his advocacy for "negro workers" in war industries and his happy stereotyping of "The Japs." While he didn't recognize that cognitive dissonance during the war, he at least evolved after seeing what the Bomb did at Hiroshima. "Horton Hears a Who" was his Hiroshima allegory, and he dedicated it to a Japanese friend. Better late than never, I suppose, but at least like Robert Byrd, Geisel had the decency to renounce his earlier racism instead of trying to deny or downplay it.
One poll.
Two poll.
Red poll.
Blue poll.
If I Ran the Senate
How the Alaskunt Stole Our Attention!
To Think That I Saw It On Murdoch Street
The 500 Tweets Of Barfolomew Tardmom
Good States, Bad States, Red States, Blue States
OT
In the wonderful world of leaking wikis, or whatever, the NSA has just dropped their knickers. Seems there ain't no such thing as a secure network. That means North Korea's little Kim, even with his ill jung, knows what Hillz said to Barry over crumpets this morning.
Does this mean we are going back to cuneiform ciphers on clay tablets?
Have you tried getting data from giving data to DoD clients lately? We have to buy big portable drives and get special permission from their data Nazis just to get GIS stuff.
Ever read Clofford Stoll's The Cuckoo's Egg? Amazing book, and fun.
It's gone total nutzo. At least we can bill the time we spend in the security queues, but they whine we aren't as efficient as we used to be. No shitski Sparky, is it a big surprise that efficiency sags when 2-3 hrs of an 8-hr day are spent genuflecting before security icons.
i don't know what country those lamestream librul media coyotes think this is, or what form of gummint they think it has, but six outta ten is not a majority in america. not any more.
If the nips slip, the polls won't dip.
No, just no.
it is sad that Senate seat that was once held by Al Gore is now held by him
Worse than that: it's held by LAMAR!
Even Corker would be better than that.
Real Americans ™ don't own telephones, so the poll is clearly biased.
Still wondering what life-deprived troll would take the time to indulge a telephone pollster. Close your eyes, think about it for a minute, imagine this person: so pleased to have another human being interested in him/her/it. So little to do that an anonymous Q&A with a stranger is welcomed. Imagine the mobile home, the kitchen table with the laminate top and chrome legs, the overflowing ash tray, the TV blaring in the background. Imagine the dirty T-shirt or Housedress, reeking of burnt grease and days old BO. Feel better? I don't.
Overflowing mudjug, not ashtray!
That's if these folks aren't called up for jury duty. It's a pleasure to serve our community, so long as there are those free meals and rooms with running water. It's magical.
Skoalrebel
Real Americans. Somewhere, an eagle weeps.
I only accept polls by Fox Newz as fact.
I'd vote for her as president of quality control sampling for Huggies.
Are we playing the Senate version of Clue? I think it was McConnell with a douche…
Democratic operation chaos starts soon, though changing my registration to republican will be traumatic.
I just defriended two people on facebook who were gushing over "Sarah Palin's Alaska." It felt good. It felt real good.
The Cunt on The Runt. Kind of like Nailin Palin, but with a midget as the lead male role.
Source: Opinions
Dynamic
That clinches it.
I for one will never get tired of telling people how much I would not vote for Palin.
Not lately I would think.
I have been wondering why I can't get some kind of filter that will remove news items. I can get alerts for items but I can't seem get the interwebs to understand I will not click on Sarah P stuff. Everday all day. I remember learning in rat psych class that repeated veiwing of anything will increase the postive response. I got used to Snookie I don't want to get used to the Palins .
whew – almost got through a whole week without hearing her name.
That chart is the beast with three backs.
all these years later and she still blows.
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