RED STATE NATION  11:14 am December 17, 2010

David Vitter Disciple Cons Babysitters Into Changing His Diapers

by Ken Layne

Visions of America.An Oklahoma City man did a perfect imitation of Republican Senator David Vitter by pretending to be autistic and hiring babysitters to change his poopy diapers while he “became sexually aroused.” Apparently you just put an ad on the Oklahoma version of Craigslist and say your “autistic son” needs a babysitter and then you just show up at their house in a diaper and the Oklahoma ladies are all, “Well okay, money’s money ….”

The Oklahoman reports:

An Oklahoma City man seeking sexual stimulation acted severely autistic and wore diapers to con baby sitters into caring for him, police reported. He told police he did it “for a sexual purpose,” court records show.

Mark Anthony Richardson Jr., 21, twice this year fooled baby sitters into watching him at their homes in Oklahoma City, police reported. The baby sitters told police he would get sexually aroused when they cleaned him while changing his diapers, police said.

The weirdo was charged with “felony count of sexual battery and seven misdemeanor counts of outraging public decency.” His bail was probably posted by RNC chairman Michael Steele and he is now a front runner for the Republican presidential nomination, Vitter probably said. [Oklahoman]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 82 comments }

weejee December 17, 2010 at 11:17 am

Elliott Ness had the Untouchables. David Vitter has the Dependables.

Dr_pangloss December 17, 2010 at 1:28 pm

That's so funny I nearly peed my big boy pants.

elpinche December 17, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Ha!

elpinche December 17, 2010 at 11:18 am

ITS CALLED THE FIRST AMENDMENT. THANKS NOBAMA.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2010 at 11:51 am

I think in this case, it was Amendment No. 2.

Second amendment solutions to boner problems and creepiness. Seriously dude, you're 21. You are not allowed to get that freaky until well into your 30s.

Pragmatist2 December 17, 2010 at 11:20 am

Please tell me this was Jim Imhofe!!!
Please!!!!

DustBowlBlues December 17, 2010 at 7:48 pm

This is the dust bowl. It wouldn't matter.

badseeds December 17, 2010 at 11:21 am

Mark Anthony Richardson Sr. must be so proud.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 17, 2010 at 11:23 am

Ah, a Real American, from Real America.

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 11:23 am

Damn, at least Vitter's hookers actually knew they were prostitutes; this guy was tricking women into it. Ick.

PsycWench December 17, 2010 at 11:28 am

Vitter's probably thinking "Why couldn't I have thought of that? "

YasserArraFeck December 17, 2010 at 12:36 pm

If that fuckwit starting acting autistic, would anyone even notice the change?

OC_Surf_Serf December 17, 2010 at 11:23 am

"Outraging Public Decency" sounds like a Flaming Lips song. Fitting.

Oklahoma: the belly flab swagged over Texas.

horsedreamer_1 December 17, 2010 at 11:27 am

Do you realize… that you have… the most beautiful bung??

WABishop December 17, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Time was, Oklahoma was as trim and lean as Tennessee. Now look at 'em.

DustBowlBlues December 17, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Since I'm currently in Oklahoma, I find that a very disturbing image.

HistoriCat December 17, 2010 at 8:54 pm

You should see the image from down here in Texas …

V572625694 December 17, 2010 at 11:23 am

The lamestream media totally missed this story.

OzoneTom December 17, 2010 at 1:39 pm

The media is all about pampering the righties.

Not_So_Much December 17, 2010 at 11:24 am

If there's any justice, most of his nurses looked just like Jon Coffee from "Green Mile", and were not gentle.

slithytoves December 17, 2010 at 11:38 am

Coffey. Like the drink but not spelled the same.

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 11:39 am

Maybe one was Nurse Ratched, and another Nurse Annie Wilkes.

ttommyunger December 17, 2010 at 11:24 am

This will cure me from clicking on the Wonkette while eating, ever again! Whoever put that pix together is genius. Evil genius, but genius. Kudos!

user-of-owls December 17, 2010 at 11:24 am

Geez, Oklahoma. First with the rampant lesbianism in high school bathrooms, now this?

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 11:40 am

You promise us teen lesbians, but give us Page Not Found. Boo.

CthuNHu December 17, 2010 at 12:22 pm

–sigh–

Fine, here's your teen lesbians.

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 12:51 pm

How can he talk about something as great as rampant teen lesbians in a way makes it sound a bad thing?

V572625694 December 17, 2010 at 12:16 pm

That plus a United States Senator (Herr Doktor Nazionalrat Tom Coburn) who says gynecologists who perform abortions should get the death penalty.

It's funny cuz it's true! So actually not funny. Have to work on it some more

fuflans December 17, 2010 at 6:52 pm

well they don't have to worry about sharia in OK, so there's that.

user-of-owls December 17, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Dear Shit fer Brains,
Never, ever try to do html link tags or algebra or trepanning on your own ever again. It only ends in tears.

Buzz Feedback December 17, 2010 at 11:24 am

The babysitters never wondered how the autistic dude managed to put the ad on Craigslist? Oh right, it's Oklahoma.

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 11:42 am

Also autistic people do learn to control their bowel movements just like most people; he should have picked a different mental disorder.

_MISS_T_ December 17, 2010 at 12:46 pm

When I read about it the other day it said he posed as the father of an autistic kid in the ad which begs the question, how on earth did he pose as the father AND son?
Turning up alone at the babysitters would be suspicious given that he was claiming to be unable to even use the loo…
So what, the guy introduces himself as dad before scurrying off on a flimsy excuse, changing into nappy and getting into 'character'…and meanwhile our heroines puzzle over the uncanny resemblance and er lack of age difference?
Never been to OK (nor the US for that matter) but I judge. Sigh.

harry_palmer December 17, 2010 at 11:25 am

"The Oklahoma version of Craigslist" – you mean the grafitti in the Walmart men's room, right?

DustBowlBlues December 17, 2010 at 7:53 pm

I can't believe these Oklahoma slams, inspired by nothing more than some good, wholesome, funtime. You people are sick, you know that? Sick.

Like the weird fucker who perpetrated this. If god wanted to make up for a great day that went down hill fast, she could make this guy a staff person for Spooky Doktor Tom.

Gratuitous World December 17, 2010 at 11:25 am

in 2025, we will live in a scat-sex based economy. President Vitter's Great Shitciety

Gleem_McShineys December 17, 2010 at 3:09 pm

"Do you have change for a Grunny?"
"Sorry man, all I have is a couple Wipes and a Deuce."

HistoriCat December 17, 2010 at 8:58 pm

In that case, I will pencil myself in for suicide in 2024 – thanks for the tip.

mereoblivion December 17, 2010 at 11:26 am

Oklahoma has public decency?

SayItWithWookies December 17, 2010 at 11:26 am

You can't fool all of the people all of the time — but with Craigslist in Oklahoma you can get pretty damn close.

smokefilledroommate December 17, 2010 at 11:27 am

What was he thinking? He was already on probation for arson! They'll "change his diaper" in prison, boy howdy.

ManchuCandidate December 17, 2010 at 11:29 am

What a shitty deal.

freakishlywrong December 17, 2010 at 11:31 am

Given this is Oklahoma, something tells me he probably didn't have to "pretend" too hard to be severely autistic and that he is a climate change denying, devoutly xtian, right wing nut. That is all.

Crank_Tango December 17, 2010 at 11:57 am

Screw you guys, I'm going to home school….

MinAgain December 17, 2010 at 11:31 am

Inquiring minds want to know, who drove him to the babysitter's house? Unless an "autistic" man who can't change his own diapers can actually get a drivers license in OK.

DoktorZoom December 17, 2010 at 11:37 am

Funny story; he found this former NASA astronaut…

tribbzthesquidz December 17, 2010 at 11:32 am

A foul wind rushes down the plain.

weejee December 17, 2010 at 11:53 am

Would that be Pariah instead of Mariah?

Sassomatic December 17, 2010 at 11:33 am

Change we can believe in!

mannacler December 17, 2010 at 11:33 am

I wonder if this guy got his idea for his perversion by reading about Sen. Vitter.

facehead December 17, 2010 at 11:33 am

Beware the Ides of Shitember.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 17, 2010 at 11:36 am

Oh, what a beautiful movement
Oh, what a beautiful day.
I got a beautiful feelin'
Ev'rything's poopin' my way.

DoktorZoom December 17, 2010 at 11:37 am

You know, we're pretty quick to fling the term "creepy" around. This guy certainly helps to put Julian Assange's inept mash notes into context, now doesn't it?

Well, OK, really we're just talking about points along the Creepy Spectrum.

horsedreamer_1 December 17, 2010 at 11:41 am

It's a negative-one to one scale, with, I don't know, Ed Gein as -1 (entirely skeevy) & Sir Galahad as 1 (entirely gallant), & let's call Al Goldstein the 0 point, halfway between skeeve & gallant.

chicken_thief December 17, 2010 at 12:17 pm

I don't know…. keep in mind, this guy had to shit himself and then walk around with the load in his diaper in order to get a nurse to wipe his ass – that's pretty creepy in my book.

BTW, I have a nephew that is autistic. He doesn't wear fucking diapers or shit himself.

MadBrahms December 17, 2010 at 11:39 am

Does DC have a public decency law? Could we get one passed, or would it just result in everyone on the hill being ending up in jail, sharing a cell with our departed Omnibus?

charlesdegoal December 17, 2010 at 11:39 am

Predictably, 2010 is another Year of the Depend Undergarment.

gef05 December 17, 2010 at 11:40 am

Oh, please. Who hasn't pretended to be an autistic kid and paid hookers to clean up their filthy diaper?

mereoblivion December 17, 2010 at 11:53 am

Well, sir (?), I, for one, have never done so . . . for at least 40 years, since I was last young enough to pretend to be a kid.

By the way, were they hookers? I thought they were actual babysitters. Penthouse Forum to the contrary notwithstanding, they're not always the same thing.

SorosBot December 17, 2010 at 12:52 pm

It seems treating them like hookers only they didn't know it.

Blendergoathead December 17, 2010 at 11:42 am

Well, at least now I know what *I'm* going to be doing this weekend…

Gleem_McShineys December 17, 2010 at 3:21 pm

"I have so much shit to do this weekend"

OkieDokieDog December 17, 2010 at 11:44 am

I live in OK and never heard about this. My local teevee stations were too busy covering all the puppy mill dogs being dumped into the pounds, and all the babies being beaten to death, which is every fucking day. But we have a new Conservative female Republican governor, so things will get much worse.

DustBowlBlues December 17, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Mattress Mary addressing our town's Chamber of Commerce dinner: "As Ronald Reagan said, 'A house divided against itself cannot stand.'"

The bitch is an idiot.

StillGoinGreen December 17, 2010 at 11:51 am

"Richardson — who is 4 feet 9 inches tall — is being held in the Oklahoma County jail."

How the hell does his height have anything to do with this story? I think the author of this piece just wanted to creep everyone out with the visual of Samwise Gamgee walking around the neighborhood, shitting his pants and sucking on a binky!!

CapnFatback December 17, 2010 at 12:10 pm

Don't knock poor Samwise; he was simply offering to "share the load."

Serolf_Divad December 17, 2010 at 11:52 am

His mother said Friday he needs psychological help at a mental institution his own U.S. Senate seat, not to be sent to a hard-core prison with murderers and rapists who could kill him. She would not disclose her name.

There, corrected.

WhatTheHeck December 17, 2010 at 11:52 am

With a name like “Mark Anthony,” was he wearing a toga over his diaper to hide his Roman short sword… and is he into gladiator movies?

Toomush_Infer December 17, 2010 at 11:58 am

It's (of course), The Aristocrats! Goes Oklahoma, where a foul wind is sweeping down the plains…

gef05 December 17, 2010 at 11:59 am

I think in OK it's considered dirty once your sister leaves home.

DonnyKerabotsos December 17, 2010 at 12:08 pm

"…You're number one Oklahoma…" well, in this case, number two.

_MISS_T_ December 17, 2010 at 12:54 pm

This fetish seems very worryingly common.
As a single gal I fear stumbling awkwardly across one of these nutbars. I'm sorry I know it's a fetish and hey um good luck to ya on that guys, but I'm sorry if shitting into a nappy gets you hard there's something wrong. For the love of god I hope I never attract one.
That being said I pity their misfortune in most definitively losing the fetish lottery and getting this one. 'why couldn't I get feet!'

GOPCrusher December 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Agreed. Not sure which is worse. That there is such a thing as a Poop fetish, or the fact that the wonderful Internet has entire websites dedicated to it, which means that there are more then a few people that get turned on by it.

DustBowlBlues December 17, 2010 at 8:07 pm

Years ago when my father-in-law (may the greedy self-centered Republican rot in his grave–but I digress) heard the term "golden shower." He asked my husband what it meant. After some nervous throat clearing, hubby explained it as briefly as possible. (Ugh, dad, ugh, it's when the guy gets the girl to pee on him.)

The old fuck just look confused and said, "Why would he want her to do that?"

Cue my husband's response: "How about those Mariners?"

mavenmaven December 17, 2010 at 1:05 pm

And here are your future Republican senators: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/17/boise-st

Redhead December 17, 2010 at 1:56 pm

"he is now a front runner for the Republican presidential nomination, Vitter probably said."

Not so fast there. Were the babysitters women or men? Because unless he conned 13-year-old boys into changing his diapers while choking themselves with a dog collar, I'd say he's probably down to number 6 or 7 on the list.

Extemporanus December 17, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Ahh, the ol' "bait & shit", eh?

prommie December 17, 2010 at 2:21 pm

This is nothing, last time a strange woman touched my johnson, I had to get a vasectomy to make it happen.

DustBowlBlues December 17, 2010 at 7:56 pm

Hey–is that my husband? What the hell are you doing on "my wonkette." Go back to your fucking WWII docs.

PublicLuxury December 17, 2010 at 9:21 pm

I'd touch your johnson and I wouldn't clip anything either.

Thedongsofwar December 17, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Go on……

PublicLuxury December 17, 2010 at 9:21 pm

Oh for fuck's sake. Some people's kids.

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