Secretary Janet Napolitano recently announced an expansion of the “If You See Something, Say Something” campaign, because that is the sort of thing bureaucratic organizations do. But this struck fear into the hearts of certain wingnuts that are watching her closely these days, as she is not one of their beloved Republican Homeland Security secretaries, but rather a communist, FEMALE “Big Sister.” All seemed stable, and nobody was drinking rat poison with their coonhound so they could be out before Napolitano got to them. But then certain people finally found out she was going after Wal-Mart, which is against the Constitution maybe.
Team Sarah knows what’s up. It’s called “betrayal,” and they never thought it would happen to their dear friend, the people-eating Wal-Mart corporation.
I just became a dedicated Target/ Kmart Shopper. Walmart won’t be getting my business anymore. Homeland security installing telescreens in over 800 walmarts nationwide. Whats next? TSA X-ray machines and pat downs in place of the Walmart Greeters.
Yes, how dare Wal-Mart do this. It used to be that wingnuts were terrified The Terrorists would bomb their local Wal-Mart, because it was such a good target and needed gobs of Homeland Security money to protect it. But now Wal-Mart wants them to report suspicious activity to police, like good citizens? NUH-UH.
There are a lot of suspicious things in the store – including the fact that everything says “made in China” on it somewhere.
EPIPHANY!
“If you see something, say something.” How about – HEY YOU – CAN I SEE YOUR GREEN CARD?
REBEL! REBEL!
Homeland Security is being run by the communist party USA and happens to have a woman as its head and spokesperson.
YES! YES! Destroy the Wal-Mart! That planet-sized capitalist enterprise is a COMMUNIST! The only alternatives are the other huge stores that are exactly like it — but we will all have to cope. [Team Sarah]
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IYSS,SS?
Sissys?
Security! I have suspicious activity to report; I think I saw several blinking lights at the Christmas display; it must be a bomb! Quick, shut the store down!
Good lord. Keep some WalMarts around. If not their customers will go to the good stores to hide their white trash spawn's dirty diapers.
Are these the people you fear?
Warning! Not for weak stomachs! http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?page_id=9804&...
MG, peoplez have been shot for less. Ouch!!!!
Back tits?
what a cornucopia of self-expression.
i'm terrified now. happy?
Worst job in the universe: Walmart Security Team Enhanced Pat-Down Officer.
You sir, are a linkoterrorist.
they make a good point, though – why is it that the dhs secretary just HAPPENS to be a woman? isn't that a little too convenient to be mere coincidence? OPEN YOUR EYES, PEOPLE!
/poops pants
As if Walmart didn't have enough of a bunker mentality already.
while she's at it. tell them to put down the Doritos, and pick up some vegetables.
"pick up some vegetables"?
are you kidding, have you seen the size of some of those walmart customers?
Walmart or team Sarah? Some questions have no right answer.
Would the proper response be nun of the above?
Oh noes, 'cause Sister Caligula ain't much better.
Walmart or Team Sarah?
How about Team Jacob, and some white trash werewolf slaughter of the whole inbred buncha 'em?
Or am I just being negative?
Teaching teabaggers to read labels is a Pandora's Box I didn't think Team Sarah would want to open. "Hey, these Hostess Twinkies are chock-full of non-nutritive crap that probably isn't part of a well-balanced diet! And this giant flat-screen tv uses eight times the electricity of my old one! And Vince Gill sucks! What's happening to me?!"
Reading and comprehending are two different things.
Is this one of those movies where it's a good thing when the machine becomes self aware?
Sign in to Team Sarah:
Username: Obambi_A_Socialist_Muslin
Password: Ruger_Model_99/44_Carbine_Auto
Heehee! I fell for it and tried it. I so wanted to logon to Team Sarah.
Hey, Mr Walmart manager, here's something suspicious: Walmart calls you a "manager" so they don't have to pay time-and-a-half if you go over eight hours per day. And have you noticed that all the cheap shit on your shelves was made in COMMUNIST CHINA? What's up with that? And how come you your employer has junk health insurance that won't take care of you or your family if you get really sick? That's highly suspect. And why did Walmart wipe out all the local stores run by real local Americans here, instead of plutocrats in Arkansas? That's making me very nervous.
And how come that New York Times resident Jew-boy Thomas Friedman thinks Walmart's so great? Doesn't that seem suspicious to you?
Just askin…
Please report any suspicious Union organizing activity as well.
Is there any other kind of union organizing?
Security. I just saw two high school students buying cheap ammunition to take back to school in their backpacks. Oh that's OK? OK
These guys would certainly be just as outraged if the videos featured John McCain's Secretary of Homeland Security Joe Arpaio.
Shudder. Dodged a bullet there. I'll take the boring lesbian any day.
When did Walmart start selling "Made in China" stuff?!? This just can't be …
Hey, Janet (Ms. Napolitano if you're nasty), does this count as suspicious?
Urgh. The first bout was bad, but obviously that wasn't the end of it : http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=26736
A WOMAN heading a government agency? (The United States Cabinet has had 25 female-appointed officers. Frances Perkins was the first woman to serve in the Cabinet; she was appointed Secretary of Labor in 1933 by President Franklin D. Roosevelt.)
Cheap plastic crap made in CHINA? (China is where your jobs went after you voted for those rightwing scaremongers. The Waltons control over 39% of the company, and are worth approximately $18 billion each, for a combined total of $89.5 billion.)
The federal government WARNING its citizens about being vigilant? (President Bush told NBC reporter David Gregory at a Rose Garden news conference that terrorists are a "threat to your children, David." The President's reaction came after Gregory asked him why he should be considered a credible source on terror intelligence.)
Even Bush had a woman or two in his cabinet. I kept trying to start rumors of triple headers involving Laura, Condi, and Eileen Chao, but they didn't go anywhere.
Hilariously, this person that is pissed of that a WOMAN is heading DHS is also a member of Team Sarah, and would likely vote for that particular WOMAN for president. Cognitive dissonance, thy name is teatard…
For which a grateful nation will now give them a continued tax cut.
Yes, but none of those women were appointed by a Negro.
If you see something, set it free. If it doesn't come back to you, say something.
No? If you see the Buddha doing something down the road, kill him before he say "Sup, Bra?" or something.
Still not right? I'll try again later.
Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!!
BTW: had my first sighting of an anti-Obama, "SORRY YET?" bumper sticker today. This may be a common sight elsewhere, but here in libtard Norcal, it's (thankfully) rare.
Here in Texas, those bumper stickers are a common sight. They share space with any number of teabag-themed stickers that nutjobs use to decorate the ENTIRE BACK OF THEIR SUBURBANS.
"teabag-themed stickers that nutjobs use to decorate the ENTIRE BACK OF THEIR SUBURBANS"
= Texas high-school civics textbook.
Well done!!!!!
Sadly, true. And just remember, we can only teach about a finite number of social studies/history persons, therefore we must have 'who is more important' battles every time textbooks are selected/created.
Sorta like Celebrity Deathmatch, only it's Darwin vs. John Hagee.
Big Box Store is watching you.
The Wal-Mart Credo:
War (against local businesses) is Peace.
Freedom is (Wage) Slavery.
Ignorance (in our customers) is Strength.
"“If you see something, say something.” How about – HEY YOU – CAN I SEE YOUR GREEN CARD?"
I think we found the owner of that spray-painted car.
Its the Bed, Bath, and Beyond people who scare the bejeepers out of me.
Sorry to tell Janet but there already is a "People of WalMart" website.
Team Sarah, bringing you napalm-grade stupid since 2008.
We need to get the lead out. The over-leaded Wallmarteers no longer have the skillz to make the cheap crap that the maodrones in China are making using leaded paint. Get the lead out!!! Out! Out! Damn shot.
It's a slippery slope from putting cameras in Dorito bags to putting them in the latest copy of Juggs. Where is Clarence Thomas when we need him?!
In the merkin department.
Checking the Coke cans for pubic hair.
The sad thing is, I did not even see that comment coming. Of course, neither did Anita Hill.
That damn Janet Napolitano probably put the camera in Barbie too. Gretchen and Douchey warned me about that. Gretchers said someone is always trying to stick a camera up little girls skirts.
So now Target has to put up a sign specifying "No pants, no shower, no service."
Whereas at Walmart, it was "No shirt, no shoes, no problem!'
But they'll still be "teeth optional".
The whole Walton family woud like like to wish everyone Happy Holidays as our brave politicians in DC pass the omnibus/tax bill that is so important to all Americans.
"Team Sarah is a diverse coalition of Americans dedicated to advancing the values that Sarah Palin represents in the political process"
Diverse? Teatards seem one dimensional to me.
Diverse means they come from different states. If they're from Georgia, Alabama, and Texas, why that's diverse backgrounds to these folks.
They range from the nosferatu white basement dweller to the spray on tan orange cheerleader. That's a wide range of shades, dude.
Hey, Team Sarah has 3 blacks, a Puerto Rican, 2 Mex, a Jew, 34,000 whites, and 1 person who is not crazy as a shithouse rat. That's pretty diverse for Real America.
…1 person who is not crazy as a shithouse rat
No fair. You can't count Milhouse Jones, CPA, because he's just the Team Sarah accountant, not a supporter of those krazies. Milhouse has been running a scam of his own – he skims a little off the top and donates to various charities, La Raza and the NAACP being the top two, in the name of various members of the palin klan.
They are diverse, as some can read, and some can't. Some have the diabetes, others have the DTs. Some ride snowmobiles, others ride scooters. Some don't like black people, others don't like Hispanics.
Hell, it is as broad of coalition as you get in Republican circles!
Silly Team Sarah. Big Brother's telescreens watched over the party; proles and animals are free.
I love the idea of anyone leaving Walmart to shop at Kmart (which is now owned by Sears) or Target to somehow avoid being watched. Do these people not realize that every store that can afford it is watching you everywhere they can and is generally quite happy to turn their materials over to law enforcement (since they routinely call them to deal with shoplifters and loiterers)?
god is everywhere and he didn't die, he turned into surveillance cameras.
No, they don't get it. There are security cameras everywhere but if Snowbilly or Glenn Beck doesn't tell you not to shop at those stores- you can. The multitudes require their every move to be scripted by their moronic overlords from Fox
god this country is a shouty, ungovernable, mean-spirited, pea-brained, dystopian nightmare.
when did this happen?
I don't know, but I really think it turned in 1968 and 1980. It's been a clear, uninteruppted downhill slide since 1980.
And why did my p score go down almost 50 points?
I love how the Tea Partiers are basically the Oprah of wacky paranoia.
"And YOU get a conspiracy theory! And YOU infringe on my rights! And YOU get slapped with a communist label!"
Weren't they already throwing money at Target after the whole Minnesota Forward, "execute all gays" thing?
Isn't that camera in the Dorito's bag the same thing as the prize in a box of Crackerjacks? Isn't it?
During tough times in the past Americans would gird their loins for the common good. Seems we are in tough times again, but given Monsieur_Grumpe's and other linkies above, if the Stairmaster is ixnay and the buffet unlimited, could Walmart America try girdling their loins?
Walmart, the site of visual and aesthetic terrorism.
But the joke is on Team Sarah, 'cause Target doesn't sell ammo.
Irony!
I'm a new member of Team Sarah. All y'all can suck it. I'm telling.
Do you think Homeland Security might find the fact that Walmart is poisoning the Merikan peeples with horrible food and lead laced toys suspicious? I don't go to Walmart for anything unless I absolutely have to – but next time I think I will hold some Twinkies up to the camera and tell Homeland Security that Walmart should be tried as a terrorist for killing all Americans….or something like that.
To members of this " diverse coalition of Americans dedicated to advancing the values that Sarah Palin blahblah.." attractive enough to be worth a hatefuck. Call me. I will supply the necessary ball gag and shock collar.
I still wouldn't shop at Mao-mart even if they DID sell ball gags. Certain dog toys can be converted to that purpose though whoops I've said too much….
Janet's kidding right? Has she ever been to a Walmart?
People of Walmart are suspicious. And I should know — I just came from one (razor blades and iced tea glasses, thank you) may God forgive me.
The only time I think I see a suspicious person at Wal-Mart is if they don't stink, are not morbidly obese and did not leave a trail of rotted teeth from their pickup.
Ok but why like 8 years ago when the wal-mart checkers saw something slightly fishy (people with a shopping cart full of psuedophed and nothing else) why didn't they say something then? Would have cut into store profits, wouldn't it have?
Now i gotz to put my license in the tweaker database when I want some drugs that work on my cold, and I blame YOU, Mao-mart.
yeah, recently I bought some DM at the Giant using the self-check and the register voice said " This item cannot be purchased without an ID check". Of course, robotripping is different from meth production.
I've been trying to figure out if I can turn meth back into Sudafed. It might just be less of a hassle.
Walmart collects more information on you poor schmucks than the NSA could in it's wildest wet dreams. I would tell you how many RFID implants you're exposed to, but I live within the actual Walmart "Dome Of Terror" in a certain part of Arkansas.
Oh god, I've said too much. aiieeggehee!
I just don't get the whole Wal-Mart angle. Has no one in Homeland Security been to one? Most of the people that shop there spend their lives completely unaware of anything more than two feet distant. Why agitate them?
Once upon a time, I used to think about the possibility that Redstate Americans were the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.
Now, I don't even have to think about it.
Tried to view the link and I guess my attempt to sign up with Team Sarah was too sarcastic. Very creepy sign-up process. Also, my phone number is none of your effing business, Team Sarah.
what.
"All seemed stable, and nobody was drinking rat poison with their coonhound so they could be out before Napolitano got to them."
Out? They wanted to come out before Janet outed them?
Strange days.
wow. Team Sarah was impressively quick at rejecting me as a member. I didn't even have a chance to read what a "policy wonk" she is. literally less than a minute. honesty=bad policy
I actually have to agree with the wingnuts here. What business is it of the feds if terrorists attack Walmart? Isn't that Walmart's problem? Isn't this what some amendment was all about? Under capitalism, if you get attacked by terrorists, YOU deal with it! Especially Walmartians! Hell, they got a whole department of guns for xactly this reason. "I buy my stuff at Walmarts, which is owned by the richest guy on the planet, so it's his job to protect me while I do so." It's like feudalism while buying stuff, also. Now, back to web-serfing.
Wolverines!!!
I have to say, this is really amusing. There's like 90 thousand cameras around a walmart store, and they ain't there to spy for the feds. But Walmart decides to put a stock PSA — the same thing they play on the DC Metro intercom like 20 times an hour — on the little TVs they have on the checkout lines, and it's some grand conspiracy.
It's not some invasive in-your-face crap, it's another bone stock PSA that's sandwiched in between the other PSAs and the ads for the newest country-rock crap album that you get to see while you're waiting for the dude in the wife-beater T-shirt to purchase 15 pounds of snack cakes and a 50 pound sack of generic dog food for his fighting dogs.
Is it suspicious that random baccy-stained beardy guys in the aisles want my children to sit on their laps? No? Oh, OK.
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=26832
Did "Team Sarah" [Please ignore sudden attack of Projectile Vomiting] really use the term "telescreens"?
That is soooooo kewl.
Newsflash! We've just broken through on the Malabar Front!!!!!!! The war is within measurable distance of VICTORY!!!!!!
[Don't ask WHICH war . . . .]
Isn't it because the tea party people that populate WalMarts are the real terrorists? Nice to see that at the guvment is finally catching on. Took long enough.
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Damn straight, girl. You fight the good fight and keep those Vagina Americans out of our government.
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Jack, please note for future reference that the teabaggers poison foodlike substance of choice is the Cheeto. Doritos are for special occasions.
and when you want to get really festive, you can make taco-in-a-bag by ladling some ground beef-like substance into a bag of Fritos with the top cut off. Sprinkle on some cheese (and some shreds of iceberg lettuce if yer eatin' healthy) and you have a Freedom Taco!
And KFC's Double Down is the Thanksgiving feast?
Sarah is taking on Wal-Mart?
What is next on her hit list – inbreeding????
What does Tim Tebow think of all this?
Whatever god tells him to silly.
"Homeland Security is being run by the communist party USA and happens to have a woman as its head and spokesperson. who I don't want to fap to, is the problem.
on a serious note,,, many commenter on Youtube are conspiracy theories drones from Alex Jones' site Infowars.
if you think Glenn Beck is Crazy enough ,, you should watch Alex Jones. His craziness will make Beck looks like a Harvard graduate.
How terrible. Discerning consumers these days demand both rear and front-facing cameras in their Doritos. Verdict: Wait for 2.0 update.
OT, but BREAKING NEWS:
It's now official: we over here at Wonkette are dumber than Gawker. Still way smarter than Breitbart, though, big surprise there.
this prove that President Carter is better than Ronald Raygun :
http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/comment/7/2...
also,, Dubya was dumb
So, the Dept. of Homeland Security is run by communists? Yeah, I can remember when that noted Marxist, George W. Bush, created it. "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need," were his words at the time.
What an overreaction. The telescreens were simply part of a plan to enhance the fun over at the People of Walmart website.
There could be a bomb — no, several bombs — hidden under the belly fat of most Wal-Marteers. But I don't want to see it, let alone say anything about it because then I would probably have to stand there white they (oh god, I'm gonna throw up) looked for the bomb(s) because I was the whistle blower and would have to stick around for some kind of Homeland Security reason. And then when all they find is three bags of Fatty Snax and a flat-screen TV, I would probably get arrested for Failure To Be Right and wind up in solitary confinement forever, the end.
That would be an epic battle – SarahPac vs. the Waltons. Of course, the Waltons would crush Sarah's "Prayer Warriors" like bugs, then pay their starving children 6¢ an hour to make ironic T-shirts for our new Chinese overlords. But, would America's Ruling Family feel remorse?
Perhaps even they don't know.
and what's up with those little metal stickers placed on products huh? you think i'm gonna steal something? huh? huh? YOINK!
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