FUN IN THE SUN  11:12 am December 15, 2010

Mark Foley Gives Up Juvenile Dreams (of Running For Mayor)

by Jack Stuef

Appearing on his “Foley on Politics” radio show on WSVU 960AM, which reaches the length of the Palm Beaches and the Treasure Coast, Foley revealed that he decided not to join the race to replace retiring Mayor Lois Frankel.

“I have come to the conclusion that now is not the right time,” said Foley, who pledged to use his “God-given talents” in the nonprofit sphere as well as in his business activities.

Sounds like somebody discovered video chat and is a little busy these days. God-given talents? Oh, right. [Sunshine State News]

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Hola wonkerados.

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SorosBot December 15, 2010 at 11:24 am

He may have given up his juvenile dreams, but not his (wet) dreams of juveniles.

Not_So_Much December 15, 2010 at 11:47 am

Why do I hear Susan Boyle in the back of my head badly warbling "I dreamed a dream", when I read your post?

SorosBot December 15, 2010 at 11:50 am

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
Of teenaged boys walking 'round shirtless…

BarackMyWorld December 15, 2010 at 8:34 pm

+1 p, but +100 in our hearts.

elfgoldsackring December 15, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Or as that nice young fellow on Glee sang:
I'ma get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

SexySmurf December 15, 2010 at 11:26 am

pledged to use his “God-given talents” in the nonprofit sphere

He's joining NAMBLA?

Not_So_Much December 15, 2010 at 11:48 am

I think that's "nonprofit sphincter" — totally different gig.

hagajim December 15, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Joining NAMBLA…I think he's going to run for President of NAMBLA

harry_palmer December 15, 2010 at 11:26 am

Sounds like his consultants advised him that the Empire has to decline a little further before the market is ready for his slogan: "Any Sport in a Dorm."

nounverb911 December 15, 2010 at 11:27 am

Foley still has not given up his dream of being a Boy Scout troop leader.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 15, 2010 at 11:49 am

Hey there, young fella, want to see my God-given talents?

SudsMcKenzie December 15, 2010 at 11:52 am

He will always be my Mayor of Pageville.

SayItWithWookies December 15, 2010 at 11:54 am

Gee, I'm glad Foley addressed that rampant speculation that he was going to run for the mayor of — uh — somewhere. Now maybe that other person will run. I'm sure you've heard of him/her — it's all over town, really.

horsedreamer_1 December 15, 2010 at 12:02 pm

That city just got the only good catheter they ever will.

Void (the election), baby, void.

GodShammgod December 15, 2010 at 12:14 pm

Pretty soon, this Foley will also be living in a van down by the river.

LionelHutzEsq December 15, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Is it really non-profit if you spend all your day arranging trips for Rush Limbaugh to go see boys in the Caribbean?

GodShammgod December 15, 2010 at 12:30 pm

I'm sure it got Faith Based Initiative funding.

HateMachine December 15, 2010 at 12:28 pm

I think I talked to him on Omegle recently!

Katydid December 15, 2010 at 12:34 pm

After reading the link to his chats with 16-year-old kids, I'm not so sure I'm against Mark Foley being in solitary confinement. I mean, what he did was disgusting, against the law, and a violation of what the people entrusted him to do. That's what the law is for, to put away the disgusting sex offenders.

Oh, wait. Shit.

Gratuitous World December 15, 2010 at 12:43 pm

i wish foley the best of luck lifting his own luggage.

x111e7thst December 15, 2010 at 1:14 pm

Mar Foley is working on developing a not-for-profit version of How would that work exactly?

ttommyunger December 15, 2010 at 2:23 pm

This idiotic fuck is so bereft of self-awareness he doesn't understand that every time he puts his name out there all we can think about is his sexual perversion and criminal intent. If he could just manage to shut the fuck up he might be able to quietly cruise the malls and loiter in the rest rooms adjacent to the food courts without being singled out.

__kth__ December 15, 2010 at 3:38 pm

So the CW seems to be that the trial balloon of a Foley return to politics was decisively shot down. But Foley would seem to be the kind of guy who never runs out of balloons.

GOPCrusher December 15, 2010 at 4:11 pm

He just needs to turn his life over to The Jeebsus, and all will be forgiven.

Negropolis December 16, 2010 at 12:53 am

The scary thing is that it would be difficult for Foley to be caught in a bigger scandal than the one he was caught it, so he'd probably actually win.

It used to be a dead girl or a boy, but now, I think the boy has to be dead too to keep you out of elected office.

assistantatlas December 16, 2010 at 4:12 pm

He can still hope for Pope!

Negropolis December 17, 2010 at 12:49 am

He's practicing his Italian and Latin while we speak. And when I say practicing his Italian and Latin, I'm saying he's plowing his well-earned bevy of Italian and Latin pool boys.

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