- The Obama administration will publish a report tomorrow detailing how comically pointless the War in Afghanistan really is. This is what we presume, at least, since Robert Gibbs insists the report’s findings will “not surprise” anyone. And yet, according to Fox News, the classified (of course) intelligence this report was originally based on offers “a more negative assessment” than the Obama administration will unveil on Thursday. The Guardian seems to agree, claiming “the review … is at odds with a separate report by US intelligence services that is much gloomier about the war’s progress.” See? This is why Julian Assange should be extradited to a CIA rape prison and tortured until he promises to stop telling the truth, which is usually less flattering and more “truthful” than the watered-down bullshit that is spoon fed to Americans every single day. Good morning! [WaPo/Fox News/The Guardian]
- The United States relies on Precious Chinese Minerals in order to produce such things as “electric cars” and “wind turbines.” Hippies take note! Everyone else: Keep driving racist Toyotas or whatever. You’re doing great! [NYT]
- Kosovo Prime Minister Hashim Thaci has been accused of organ trafficking. Yes. We just thought you’d like to know. [AFP]
{ 114 comments }
We fool ourselves into thinking that places like Chicago and Louisiana are truly corrupt. Kosovo shows us that they, along with US Dept of Defense contracting and most anything in China, are the real major leagues of corruption.
1) Grant Kosovo independence
2) ????
3) Profit!
At least that's what Billary assured us. Plus Camp Boehner-Steele. Don't forget the important contributions of the military-industrial complex.
What about Israel? Between the organ harvesting rings and other scams, their politicians have reached a level of graft that ours merely aspire to.
I'm confused. What's wrong with someone selling musical instruments? Unless it's those Hammond home organ things they used to have. They used to shit me no end.
Wrong type of organ there.
And no, it was not a dick joke either.
Kosovo Prime Minister Hashim Thaci has been accused of organ trafficking.
Oh that's nothing – the whole GOP's been sneaking in rusty trombones anywhere they can get them for years.
Dunno, the news over the last couple of years suggests that the GOP is keeping their instruments well polished. I'm sure that was Mark Foley's plan for the pages.
Cheney need some livers to eat with fava beans
We can't handle the truth.
the truth has no handles, it is a slippery thing.
I handled it once. It's overrated. Now I prefer to handle imaginary genitalia.
My one sentence précis of the upcoming Afghanistan report: We're f****d, but we're going to keep doing the same thing as long as the Red Chinese will keep lending us money because nobody in Washington, D.C. has even half the balls to admit they were wrong.
This has kind of disproven the saying, "History repeats itself, the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce," because both Vietnam and Iraq/Afghanistan have just been tragedies.
Nobody in DC has balls. Period.
That's why Hopey brought Clinton back.
and Clinton was so correct about Kosovo.
Actually, he really was. Just because this particular head of government has gotten his hand caught in the proverbial corpse doesn't mean that Serbian rule was justified. Whatever has happened in Kosovo pales in comparison to the moral bankruptcy that is Serbia, period.
So, honestly, you can get off on this kick that America was wrong about helping Kosovan independence. I guess you're on the Sudanese government's side in Darfur, too, huh?
Honestly, I would think there would be a bigger market for pianos in Europe.
And violins would be easier to move.
Uh, I think the public is way ahead of the Administration about the pointless of the War in Afghanistan.
How far true despots have fallen: Idi Amin never would have trafficked in organs; he would have eaten them. Raw. With an hint of paprika & Kosher (ironic, I know) sea salt.
Not fava beans and a nice Chianti?
So declase, so gauche, really. Idi was a man of distinction.
I dunno – he liked all things Scottish, so maybe he'd be up for a haggis followed by a round of headbashing.
And 30 oranges a day. To replenish his "sexual power" of course.
It's funny that the Afghan mess might have been avoided if the US America didn't go into Iraq and concentrated its (then) massive military might there, but we forgot the US America lure of a good bargain. What's better than one war? Two wars… two fucking ginormously expensive clusterfucking wars. Only problem is that the previous "owner" left the crippling balloon payments and "Who lost Iraqinam and the Big A?" questions to the next guy.
I like the poster of Dubya saying: "I Fucked You All, and thanks for blaming the black guy!"
What did Kanye do now?
Didn't he just go the prison for Tax Evasion? I don't know, they all do look alike, don't they?
No. That was Mario Van Peeples.
The solution is to keep starting wars (Iran, No Korea, Pakistan) and make up for the losses with volume. This is the Costco Strategy: we don't need that many wars, but at these prices, you gotta buy 'em! Plus finding a parking space at the Pentagon was so hard you don't want to have to come back that often if you can avoid it.
Obamar is still afraid Dick n' Liz will say mean shit about him and accuse him of not "keeping America safe" if he pulls out of a hopeless, pointless land war in East Asia. It's only Wednesday and the week's in the shitter.
Afghanistan: Nothing new
China: Nothing new
Kosovo: New, but not unexpected.
All in all: Meh.
What you got that I can use as an excuse for drinking today?
The sun came up … again!
What is this sun thing I have heard others speak of in hushed whispers?
That there is nothing new?
Abramoff's kosher-pizza career/rehab program is still working for me.
Soul crushing monotony?
Jesus, man…we've been over this. If you just wait around, you'll find yourself sober at 3pm.
Just start within 5 minutes of waking up, and if anyone questions you as to why you're rip-shitty at 6:32 in the morning, you just say "Oh…you'll see." By early evening, your justification will have delivered itself.
I thought I would do my part to help with the rare earth shortage (Precious Chinese Minerals) by pedaling my bike a little more. But my bike is buried in 6 foot snow drifts, I can’t see the bird feeder any more, the ice damns have blocked all my doors, my cat is wondering what I would taste like and my snow shovel is missing. I'll get on that rare earth shortage in the spring.
If you were a teabagger that comment would have concluded with a statement about how this means that global warming is obviously a hoax. Everybody knows that global warming is incompatible with the presence of any snow, anywhere.
They just don't seem to get the whole more extreme weather cycle thing about climate change do they? Can't wait till they wake up one day and start screaming bout how this is all the proggies fault.
They don't get the Earth is Round thingy or the Sun Rises in the East thingy, or Glenn and Rush are opportunistic douches thingy, either.
Or for that matter, that not every hysterical email your high school friend sends you is 100% true. It's not like you could look up this information on http://www.snopes.com or anything.
The three "facts" that disprove climate change:
1. It snowed. Anywhere.
2. Al Gore is fat.
3. The Clash mentioned global cooling in "London Calling".
It is hard to refute that solid scientific analysis the teabaggers clearly put into this.
That's not so bad. Tell us when you start wondering how the cat would taste. Or have you passed that milestone already…
Ice damns. Snow damns. Slush damns. Damned winter.
But no dental dams?
What!? Do you want Willow Palin to get herpes simplex b?
As for the organ trafficking, don't knock it. I got a hell of a deal on a Wurlitzer.
That's great, but how are you gonna fit it into your abdominal cavity?
Well, my cousin was on the waiting list for a Wurlitzer and he had to settle for a Lowrey and now he can't pee.
But when he farts, it is BEAUTIFUL!
Welcome to Wonkette, Mark Oliver Everett! Glad to have you back in the DC fold.
Any new eels material in the works, though?
I could use a little more "traffic" on my organ.
Recalls the pub-trivia "best team name" of last nite: CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR, AND LATELY SO DO I.
Don't miss Hashim at the Kosovo Ramada Inn! " Hey what's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ, OH! hey thank you… yeah, hey try the veal!"
No words. Just the formulation "Fucking Depressed," and I'm moving on.
So Kosovo gives us another corrupt regime basically put in place by the US; since Truman installed Syngman Rhee in South Korea, there may not be a single US President that hasn't helped at least one corrupt authoritarian leader take power. (Carter maybe?)
Even Carter hosted Ceausescu at the White House.
Of course, Nicu had yet to go full retard, at the time. Still…
Wasn't that Titan of Statesmanship, Richard H., somehow involved in the Balkans? I wonder if they worked out Thaci's share of the organ market at Dayton?
Bosnia /= Kosovo. Even if they're mostly Muslins.
umm no
Holbrooke's negotiation was about conflict in Bosnia,, that was about the war where Bosnian Muslims (Bosniaks), Croats and Serbs killing each other,,
Kosovan (Albanian) was not involved in Dayton
I knew it was a stretch, but I was closer to the truth than FAUX News has ever been.
Aim a little higher.
I do not avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence…
They're putting lead in ice cream, children's ice cream. . .
I guess Afghanistan is really in the crapper now that its Savior, Richard Holbrooke, has been posted to Barry's Embassy in Heaven. Speaking of dicks, was gobsmacked last night to see PBS had enlisted John Fucking Negroponte, the Main Honcho of South American Death Squads, to extoll Holbrooke's myriad virtues and accomplishments. I felt like I was in a time warp and watching Al Capone delivering the Eulogy for John Dillinger.
Now that Holbrooke's dead, they'll have an excuse to postpone to withdrawal of troops because the "greatest evah diplomat" isn't there to do the heavy lifting anymore.
Given the people that are all broken up over Dick's loss, I have a hard time mustering any respect for him. Just another Village Idiot, not some kind of Giant of Foggy Bottom.
A giant dick.
Do you mean Elliott Ness, for Dillinger?
Nope.
According to Obama's lackeys, Holbrooke's dying words ("Get the U.S. out of Afghanistan," or something to that effect) were a "joke." Because that is the kind of thing a dying diplomat would joke about just before he departs this mortal coil.
So, if we don't leave, we are just fulfilling his real, non-facetious wishes.
Yeah, I've had several surgeries, always feel real jokey with my surgeon just before going under the fucking blade, never fails.
Racist Toyotas? That's a Buick. Toyotas are too bland and inoffensive to be racist.
Toyotas don't brake for just anybody, though.
Like I've said for years we should have blown the fuck out of anyone in Afganistan named Al Q. Ida declared victory and got the fuck out.
We've always been at war with Eurasia. Take your soma, now.
Someone's mixing up their distopian sci-fi here.
We're only fifteen minutes into the future. Keep watching Network 23.
Its the worst of both worlds.
I don't know, I think I'd like some soma (along with the rampant casual sex).
Well, having come of age in the 1970s, I can say that the rampant casual sex was kinda nice.
'Scusies. That newz from China is giving Uncle Sam a lanthanide contraction.
"War In Afghanistan Still Terrible and Pointless"…well then it will surely be the crown jewel of the next Republican President's foreign policy doctrine.
No redstate says the invasion of Mexico is tops on the list.
If by "next Republican President", you mean Barry's 2nd term, then…yeah, prolly.
re:headline: was it ever NOT terrible and pointless?
Back when we still had a shot at capturing Bin Laden, before Bush just gave up to pull out many of the troops to send them to deal with his daddy issues instead.
Not since though.
Thing was, we didn't need to do a full-scale invasion to hunt for Bin Laden. So, no, it was never good. You know, I used to believe the talking point that if we hadn't invaded Iraq we'd have "won" Afghanistan, it's become apparent if it wasn't for everyone at the beginning that neither of these wars was "the right war."
The prize for a successful invasion of Afghanistan is…Afghanistan. Somehow this important caveat was overlooked.
This Hashim Thaci fellow was seen palling around with Great Leader George W Bush some times ago …..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:President_Bush_...
A moment of silence, please, to mourn the passing of unjaded Riley. His refreshing lack of venom and cynicism will be sorely missed.
/:sniff:/ Wonkette's little intern is all grown up! /:sniff:/
So Fox News is reporting classified (albeit totally obvious) information now? Guess the Air Force will have to ban them, too.
Or better yet, put them in solitary confinement in the brig.
Why is FOX News reporting on classified documents?! Rapists!
I love that the new talking point for all bad news is "its nothing new" and "this shouldn't surprise anyone". I guess we shouldn't be surprised anymore by how bad things are. That everything is entirely fucked up and corrupt and stupid – I guess that should be starting point for all analysis of depressed loser country #1 USA.
What did you expect when that colored boy became President?
I will take my spoon fed watered down bullshit with soy milk please…lactose intolerant. As for organ trafficking – what does the P.M. have against terrible sounding pianos?
Finally – if Wikileaks hasn't done it yet, the U.S. relies heavily on China for all of our awesome lead infested toys as well.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is, 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'…"
/Snark off
I accept that you Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM despise me — with good reason, of course. But what follows is not bullshit.
A very old friend of mine, who is career Foreign Service currently posted to Helmet Province, tells me that a USMC senior officer recently had to submit a report on counterinsurgency operations.
So the Major goes to the USMC War Fighting database (or whatever they are calling it nowadays), and calls up a report, circa 1968, about counterinsurgency in the late, lamented Republic of South Vietnam.
Said Major realizes that, by using the global substitution function to replace "Viet Cong" with "Taliban"; "ARVN" with "Afghan Security Forces," etc., he "can save a lot of time."
Reportedly, there was a minor problem with "rice paddies." So he used "wadis" or something. (I didn't ask if there was any issue with "heroin" or "opium." I just assumed there wasn't.)
The bottom line is that We Are Well And Truly Fucked. And the Really Sad Thing is that we didn't learn a Fucking Thing the last time, and we're not going to learn a Fucking Thing this time . . . .
/Snark On
Bad Thing about this war: Fleeing to Sweden apparently is no longer an option.
Oh, well . . . .
The difference is we're not drafting college kids, so no biggie. Of course, the highly wonderful DREAM Act provides that you can go to college or into the military to help you get citizenship, so, fresh poorz meat. Is this a great country or what?
Draft Liberals!
[Spare the niggers, beaners, chinks, and the rest of the wogs for front-line service behind the counter of your local 7/11!]
We Are Well And Truly Fucked.
Wait, there was a republic in South Vietnam? I must've missed that.
The worst part is, unlike Vietnam, where we only had the historical reference of the French to show us how fucking stupid it was, in Afghanistan nobody save for Ghengis Khan pulled off a successful occupation. England, Russia both had their proverbial asses handed to them, and somehow we were going to be different? The only real strategy left is how best to bomb the fuck-all out of that worthless rock so we can escape with the least loss of life and leaving the fewest viable weapons behind.
Weejee can back me up on this:
What you are talking about, you Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM, was what was known as the "South China Sea Solution" to the "Late Unpleasantness In Southeast Asia."
The solution contained the following steps:
Step 1. Load all of the Vietnamese, North and South, onto ships located in the middle of the South China Sea.
Step 2: Obliterate Vietnam, North and South. I mean, bomb EVERYTHING. Hamlets, cities, dikes, paddies, the works. Completely level the entire place.
Step 3: Sink the ships.
Step 4: Go home, and have a nice, cool beer.
Ah, the Memories.
Good Times. Good Times.
:::Sniff:::
Ah, yes, the old imperial fantasy of "making a desert and calling it peace."
I prefer to make a dessert, and offer the pretty girl a piece.
Just so long as we don't start importing our precious bodily fluids from China, I'm good.
Kosovo Prime Minister Hashim Thaci has been accused of organ trafficking. Yes. We just thought you’d like to know.
That sounds more than a bit Dracula-ish even though Thaci's coffin full of earth is about 300 miles west of the real Dracula land.
Oh god,I don't even open those anymore. its just to depressing too see the drudge headlines and freeper links.
Everybody knows snopes.com is a conspiracy to hide the Real Truth. That's how deceptiveThey are!
too much trubul.
That makes me wish I could go back in time to the 70s; if only I could the women then to wear decent clothes and, you know, shave.
Dang!
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