The branch of the U.S. military responsible for flying some (but certainly not all!) planes has come up with the greatest idea ever to stop Wikileaks and the 10 billion news websites that have posted stuff from the Wikileaks: Just ban all those websites! This is a one-billion-percent foolproof plan, and now any Air Force personnel (known as “seamen”) will magically not know about any Wikileaks information they may have encountered during the past several weeks of constant Wikileaks coverage.
The New York Times — which is now an official “banned by the USAF” website — just posted this invisible story on the Internet:
WASHINGTON — The Air Force is barring its personnel from using work computers to view the Web sites of The New York Times and more than 25 other news organizations and blogs that have posted secret cables obtained by WikiLeaks, Air Force officials said Tuesday.
When Air Force personnel on the service’s computer network try to view the Web sites of The Times, the British newspaper The Guardian, the German magazine Der Spiegel, the Spanish newspaper El País and the French newspaper Le Monde, as well as other sites that posted full confidential cables, the screen says “Access Denied: Internet usage is logged and monitored.”
And then you can go back to playing World of Warcraft or whatever it is U.S. military personnel do. (God knows it’s not “win wars.”) [New York Times]
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Ken, you need a staycation…
Ken, your move.
I smell an altercation.
That chest bump picture looks like gaycation. Not in the good way either.
Even for my frequent adult materials viewing, I never realized such penetration as anal frequently occurred from a "missionary" position 'til I saw it reported in a Savage Love column three or four years ago. Of course, in my defense, I don't watch much in the way of male-on-female or female-on-male or female-on-female anal scenes; just, not my thing.
Anyway, what I suppose I am trying to say, in short, is who is up whose butt, Dubya or the cadet?
Looks more like they're rubbing two sticks together to start a fire like boi scoutz.
So much for Don't Ask Don't Tell. More like Don't Tell, Demonstrate.
Show, don't tell.
This is the same rationale the gummint used when they tried to block the Pentagon Papers — prevent US Troops from seeing the information that the enemy already knows. And that worked out just fine! [as in "Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!"]
White pants are gay.
yeah but they DO make your well-toned gay butt look sweet, just ask gay Rep. Schlock! http://www.bilerico.com/2010/06/rep_aaron_schock_...
Don't you get them from Der Spiegel?
With the money going toward making Jackass Four Score & Seven Rears Ago?
Especially after Labor Day
can we henceforth refer to the wikileaks brouhaha as "wikileakage"?
Wikihaha would be OK too but it's already used by a pun encyclopedia.
It's on the internet .. so it's classified.
That's what I told myself about Craig's List Adult Services. Now, I cannot get Chris Hansen to leave my house.
That's "United States Air Farce," Ken.
Get it right next time.
"World's Most Expensive Flying Club" is the proper title these days.
You speeled "Chair Force" wrong.
~
Don't ask, don't tell (best alt-text evah!)
btw, AF is gayest unit of the Dept of War, after the Navy of course
You know, that post reminds me of one of my Deepest Regrets: That George W.H. Bush quit flying when he did.
He quit the Texas Air Guard with around 350 hours. That is right around the time that arrogant, useless, sloppy deadheads start thinking that they are Hotshot Pilots.
So the Gods of Aviation reach out and . . . Hey, Presto! — another Asshole Goes Down In A Ball Of Flaming Aluminum.*
Wastes valuable airplanes, sometimes. But that's the price one pays for this particular variant on Natural Selection.
Neilist
"Kick the Tires! Light the Fire! Let's . . . HEY! Who left the safety pin in the ejecti . . . .
::::SOUND OF IMPACT::::
[Voice Data Recorder tape ends]
*See also JFK, Jr.: About 325 hours, and a new, higher performance airplane = duplicating his Daddy's track record in PT boats.
Hah, I KNEW you was a librul!
No, No, NO.
One of the Great Things about aviation is that it is apolitical.
It kills all Nitwits equally, without regard to Party affiliations.
Tasteless and totally uncalled for. Kudos.
He's sort of a thinking-man's asshole. This place wouldn't be quite the same without him, really.
I think of my ASSHOLE constantly. It's a Zen Mediation Thingy.
Or is that my navel? Whatever . . .
(And 20 P points? What is WRIONG with you people?
Obsequious swine . . . .
:::Grumble::::
Come to think of it, wouldn't you want your assholes to be tasteless?
This is indeed the kind of feral and preposterous commentary that makes Wonkette Wonquettish.
Neilist,
How about stepping it one generation back?
Just north of Chichi Jima, Sept. 1944.
Let's say our hero doesn't survive the Avenger crash north of the island.
Or, a submarine doesn't, miraculously, pick the young lieutenant out of the water.
He drifts into the island; hell, the Japs can see him in the water.
He gets to the shore, POW's for a spell, and eventually they eat the fucker's liver —
No, CIA. No wife with a miscarriage in a jar. No Junior. No stopping on the road to Baghdad.
No OTP. and most importantly, NO raising taxes and talking about a "peace dividend." I'm telling you, they ignore and disdain the guy for the last two factors.
And so we stand here today, rather unsteady, facing the twin demons of our democracy: taxes on the rich and our Constitutionally protected, precious Socialism: the military-industrial complex.
If Radio was on the Facebook, he would list Flyboys, no, not the stupid movie, as one of his seminal books.
Listen, you Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM:
I didn't agree with his Daddy about a lot of things, either. But I never heard anyone make any cracks about Daddy's abilities as a pilot, or as an officer:
Once aboard San Jacinto, there were few people as happy to see Bush back as his gunner, Ordnanceman Second Class Leo Nadeau.
"I don't know what happened in officers' quarters, but down in enlisted quarters we had the ship's baker make a big cake with the words 'Your First Ducking' written on the top," he said.
Nadeau added that Ltjg. Bush had a lot of friends among the enlisted men.
"Mr. Bush wasn't one of your run-of-the-mill officers," he said. "Being an enlisted man, I couldn't go into officers' quarters and as an officer he couldn't go into enlisted quarters. So we'd meet quite often up on the flight deck by the plane. We'd always be checking our aircraft out. He would look his plane over, and I would look over the armament. We were both very conscientious about the work that we were doing."
http://www.history.navy.mil/faqs/faq10-3.htm
In contrast, Boy Shithead is just the kind of guy who would let the stewardess do the preflight . . . .
Fraternization is gay.
As dad used to say "There are bold pilots and there are old pilots but there are no bold, old pilots."
Except for John Mc Cain!
(Thin line behind bold & stupid, I know.)
"*See also JFK, Jr.: About 325 hours, and a new, higher performance airplane = duplicating his Daddy's track record in PT boats. "
Except that the survival rate from going into the water from a boat is much higher than from a plane.
I am, right now, the only guy in the entire ginormous hospital who is laughing his ass off. My cell, uh, room mate wonders what is up but I suspect he's a 'bagger so I can't give it up. Ah, home tonight…
Puck:
Forgot to mention: Sorry you're in the hospital, Communist Pinko Liberal SKUM or not.
I HATE hospitals.
Neilist:
Thanks for the good thoughts. I can only assume that there is some sort of LAPSE involved here in some way. But I appreciate them nonetheless. I HATE hospitals, too. I'm perfectly fine, btw, just waiting for some bag of IV fluid to drain into my left arm and then I am free to go.
Hate those places. I give platlets every 30 days at Cedars-Sinai, and it's Get In; Get Stuck; and GET OUT.
nothing says 'american holiday classic' like W chest humping an air force dude in white gloves and pants.
Shirley, they cant be serious.
Don't call me Shirley.
OK, I'll do it: Yes, I am serious, and don't call me gay.
Gack!! Chimpy dry humping a junior fly boy.
Such an awful thing once SEEN can never be UNSEEN…
Nothing says FREEDUMS in Merika quite like censorship.
Dirty Dancing 3 – Well Hello Sailor!
"Access Denied: Internet usage is logged and monitored."
Hmm.. I smell a new amendment!
Maybe I'll tweet Ms. Bachmann to bring it up in the study sessions after the Scalia classes.
Reading the NYT is considered a "tell" under DADT, anyway.
& the Village Voice? Like getting caught in flagrante delicto.
(Seriously, I only read* it for Chuck Eddy's music content. The man knows metal.)
*Preterite tense.
Reading is considered a "tell" under DADT.
I bet Osama bin L. doesn't block the internet for his employees!
Next up, the USAF bans the use of the phrase, “take a leak”.
Bush: "Airman! You've let the orange fall down to my waist; you were s'posed to come in with your neck and chin and take it from my neck. Now you'll just have to work it up from down there. Er, take your time; do it right, son. We can do this."
Airman: "Y-y-yes, sir."
Surprised that a stupid frat boy douche continues to be a stupid frat boy douche?
Between this and the USAF's evangelical bent, I bet I could count the number of websites airmen can access on one hand.
I think the point is to not have it done with one hand.
If you get my drift.
Which you probably do, because I'm not being very subtle.
(N.B. It was a masturbation reference)
I was going to be subtler than that. (Actually, I wasn't)
What's next – no more Pong?
Thank god none of our service members have privately owned computers that can get ahold of these forbidden websites. Our security would be severely compromised.
Oh its ok because they cant have thumbdrives anymore.
Maybe we could get them some software like we sneak into China so they can look at subversive sights like Amnesty International.
Or TVs, to watch the teevee news reporting on the Wikileaks saga. Or radios, to listen to NPR or Fox News radio or any other news station (of any slant, they've all talked about it). Or smartphones, to access those internet sites now banned, or hands and two quarters to walk to the nearest newspaper box and buy a physical newspaper…
Abort New York Times!
Considering how the Air Force has been taken over by far-right fundamentalist Christians, I kind of doubt that many of them would be visiting those sites anyway; most probably won't go to Fox because of it's "liberal" bias.
But you can look for a huge upswing over the next year in "Jesus porn".
Well, sure, after Madonna dumped him, what was there left for him?
That old Cougar sucks the life right out of you.
Interesting that the fundies took over the USAF, a branch of service who's main occupational hazard is coming down with cirrhosis of the liver from too many happy hours at the O Club.
Wonder why they didn't take over the Marines or the Army infantry?
Not enough hot meals.
Eff this move for giving the conspiracy loons fodder for weeks. Stock in Hitler comparisons is up 10 billion percent!
Would these be the unknown knowns? Known no-no knowns? Where is D-Rum when we need him?
Camped out on Mount Misery plantation in St. Michaels, Maryland, where they tried to break Frederick Douglass.
This is soooo much more effective than the military blocking low level army privates' (!) access to the actual diplomatic cables so they can't be leaked on the internet in the first place: Don't Know, Can't Tell
Pretty much the first and most basic rule of secrecy/spying is: All information is on a need to know basis. Can someone please explain to me for what purpose does a low level enlisted man need access to diplomatic cables?
We let people this retarded be in charge of our space defense? It not rocket science…
Damn.
thank god our fighting men and women can still access the topeka penny saver.
Isn't chest bumping a fully-dressed Air Force officer while preznet an impeachable offense?
not if you own the government.
judging from that picture above,,, George W Bush supports the repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell"
As an ex-AF pilot of an F-111F – I must say about this….meh. I wish I would have stayed in long enough to fly F-15's. I heard the conditions were better in Afghanistan.
What is a former fighter pilot doing here as a Wonkette commenter? Even among other military pilots, fighter pilots have a reputation as cocksure, arrogant, hard-drinking, foul-mouthed, oversexed bullies who….
Uh, This post has been deleted by the user.
Well, ya got me on hard-drinking and foul-mouthed!
I hate to say it, but being Gov't Issue means you're logged and monitored always.
Yep, it's not YOUR computer. It's the government's and they're just letting you use it.
Thanks, Air Force! I feel a lot safer now!
But can they still get NewsMax so that they know the truth about the President being a commie and a black?
Wow. I don't think I've ever heard a stratagem of this quality that wasn't preceded by the phrase "I have a cunning plan".
One thumb for the 'Blackadder' reference. Now, where do I stick it?
This idea does seem to have come straight from the mind of a dogsbody.
LOL! Really, what else can be said?
yup, I read that if you went to the wikileaks site, it could keep you from getting a security clearnance. I guess reading real newspapers will also prevent that. Having worked in gov't my entire career and lived in the DC metro area for 35+ years- I can guarantee lots of people with security clearance never read newspapers anyway- at least not the news parts.
Mutts is jilarious.
I don't blame GW too much for this rather embarrassing photo. I figure he was probably just drunk.
Why don't they do it the old fashioned way? If Esprit d' Corps won't suffice then the threat of 20 years at Ft. Leavenworth (or a firing squad) probably will…
Report from the Pentagon: Army lurves librul media, those sites are still up for us!
The good news is that bigjuggsinthecockpit.com and nakedcheerleaderpilots.com are NOT being blocked anymore.
Yeah, but they are filled with pop-up ads for how to add 2-4 inches to your joystick.
Tailgunner.com is no better.
Is that breeder or homo porn?
Strictly for my own edification.
Don't ask. Won't tell.
But wait, it's China that suppose to do all the internets banning, and our government and business is so vastly more transparent than them, right? Very confused.
"The New York Times — which is now an official “banned by the USAF” website "
If they'd have banned the website for craptastic editorials, I'd have had to agree with the USAF.
If he weren't already dead, Herve Villechaize would kill himself, again, hearing this news.
No big deal. All they need is Faux Nudes and the 700 Club website to get all the news they need.
"If everyone else is going to fucking get to know what we know, we don't get to know what we know! Blam! Blam!"
I'm waiting for the Air Force to outlaw all "Bad Things" and then we'll REALLY be OK.
"And then you can go back to playing World of Warcraft or whatever it is U.S. military personnel do."
We're talking the Air Force here – they don't have time to play World of Warcraft since they're all too busy blowing up wedding parties in Afghanistan.
What is the Air Force doing? Trying to act like the U.S. education system? I just talked to my intern yesterday and she informed me that she'd never heard of Iran-Contra – until her sophomore year in college. No wonder retarded fame whores like Sarah Palin are our Gods….we're too damn uninformed to know the difference.
In all seriousness, I think I'm missing something. Shouldn't they be focusing on preventing leaks instead of keeping people from seeing already leaked material?
And now to make up for my seriousness, I will say this: seamen.
Its of course very important to cut the military off from the desires and will of the people, just ask the leadership behind Tiananmen Square.
So the new SOP is to give servicemembers the message that the media, which is an institution they theoretically defend, is off limits when they are in "military land".
Oh, this is just great. I always thought the Air Force was the smart branch of the military. Well, until they got all fundie. Never mind.
there's an easier way to deal with this – just make sure everyone in the military is illiterate, duh. better yet, everyone in the country! that would screw wikileaks over so good.
That photo is a crime against humanity. Off to the Haig with you. Stat.
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