Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Hey look, Lou Dobbs is alive! Also, we did not know Michele Bachmann is teaching Constitution Sports to her fellow members of Congress, but apparently that is happening too, with Antonin Scalia, who is not, you know, supposed to be partisan about things; but it’s hard when all your friends want you to come to their important Republican dinners and events. Because really, what are the Democrats going to do, impeach a Supreme Court justice? Hah!

I think it’s great and I’m hoping all the members of Congress will partake; it’s bipartisan.

See, there you go! All you have to do is say the word “bipartisan,” and it makes it so! Just like how that new tax-cut package is “bipartisan.” After you’ve looked up “canard,” make sure to write in “Republican” next to the word “bipartisan,” because it is now officially a synonym.

We’re going to do what the NFL does and what the baseball teams do: we’re going to practice every week, if you will, our craft, which is studying and learning the Declaration, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights.

First of all, no. Second, your craft is to make and actually pass laws, not to know about documents you should have studied in fifth grade. Or it is supposed to be. Your craft specifically is to be a banshee who just goes around shrieking crazy stuff in exchange for campaign money, so good work.


Also, here’s something in those documents: the separation of powers. [Right Wing Watch via Gawker]

Previous articlePost-Tax-Cut-Deal D.C. Winter Survival Guide
Next articleArmy Birther Pleads Guilty To Brave Birther Stand