Real American Has Message For Illegals All Over His Crappy Car

  visions of america

You got that straight!Sometimes, things are just so weird that you’ve got no real choice but to spray paint a bunch of angry anti-Mexican crap all over your crappy car, for America!

Thanks to Wonkette operative “David G.” for sending this troubling image of a dirt-snow parking lot outside some vacant commercial buildings and a used car engine shop. We do hope the Illegal Aliens leave very quickly so that this important part of the country can regain its dignity, somehow.

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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164 comments

      1. Cicada

        Don't take it personally, we all need a fucking vacation. Unfortunately most of us are off to spend our vacation time with people we have to be drunk around to tolerate.

        1. MittsHairHelmet

          "Don't take it personally, we all need a fucking vacation."

          Exactly. All I meant was that it's clear recent events have taken a toll.

        2. OneDollarJuana

          Wait. Is that a vacation from fucking? Who wants that, except maybe the more popular whores? Or are you talking about a George Rekers / Rush Limbaugh type of vacation where you're fucking all the time?

    1. FlipOffResearch

      If you look at the photo, at first glance, that car looks like it is in the middle of a burn-out.. After closer inspection, it.'s just a crookedly parked car with white spray paint on its tires. So, nice low budget effect.

    2. Extemporanus

      Or, those tires might just be sportin' what I used to refer to as — when that God-forgotten rock salt, slush, and sadness-sharting Winter hinterland was my home — "Wisconsin whitewalls".

    3. OneDollarJuana

      When I first glanced at it I thought it was a pic of some demolition derby. Then again, that's winter in the midwest, innit?

    1. Sophist FCD

      But it's not pink, and it doesn't have a pregnant prisoner handcuffed in the trunk or millions of misspent tax dollars in the glovebox.

    1. DoktorZoom

      I'm more worried about these aliens who are trying to steal our id. My superego is none to happy about it, either.

  1. SorosBot

    Well, at least with the "abort anchors" comment this driver's upholding to conservative principal that a woman's uterus should be controlled by the government.

    1. Negropolis

      Yes, a woman's reproductive system should be the province of her, her doctor, and her local nosy church lady who now sits in Congress.

    2. Not_So_Much

      Speaking of hawt chix, this guy clearly pulls a lot of tail with this sweet ride. It was this or the Bentley — I think he made the right choice. (tho' the Rolls would have had more room in the back for the HoveRound)

  2. Crank_Tango

    What this demo-derby whip needs is some bullet holes to make it complete. Lots and lots and lots of bullet holes.

  3. frigorific

    Midwest Engine Exchange Inc. What a surprise. I'd like to see how long that vehicle would last on a cross country road trip. Either it would break down or be fire bombed.

  4. lefty74

    I agree Ken. At what point does it become a good idea to just start writing shit all over your car? Maybe right after you find out that your significant other just knarfled the garlock with the rest of your family. I'd get mad too if I walked in on what looked like a big ol' gob of dew worms.
    At that point you reach for what gives you comfort. Like Oprah on a donut. Then dont forget to add the gangsta whites option. Coulda painted a "diamond in the back". Curtis Mayfield. Diggin the scene with the gangsta lean.

    1. Sparky_McGruff

      Sure, I'm an olds… Still, I try to keep up with you kids. But damnit– even the googles won't help me figure out what "knarfled the garlock" means.

      1. natoslug

        I tried running the whole comment through Google Translate and it came back with "Paul is Dead." Maybe when one of my kids comes home this afternoon, they can translate it for me. Now I feel ancient.

  5. hagajim

    What the car really says is: "I'm a hillbilly redneck tard who is afeard of having my jawb taken by some messican illegals.

    1. Rotundo_

      Perhaps this is the closest that republicans can muster to "performance art". Thank God they don't feel inclined to strip nude and slather themselves with chocolate syrup or place portraits of Obama in a bucket and pee in it and photograph them or have scooter reinactments of "soshulist deth campes under Obamma" in malls and stuff. The rally with Becko last summer seemed to get most of that shit out of their system.

  6. obfuscator2

    if not for the economic scourge of illegal alien id theft anchored babbies, the owner of this car would be driving a bentley, I'M SURE.

    1. BorderJumper!

      I'm also sure that this retard would love to pay $10 for a McAnus burger just to support wages for Real 'murikans.

    1. fishskicanoe

      Midwest Engine Exchange is in (gasp) Madison, Wisconsin. If you look closely those appear to be Cheesehead plates on that car.

      1. schwnj

        I just google earth'd it, and was horrified to see that, yes, it is in Madison. As a former Wisconsinite, I always thought Madison was one of our less embarrassing areas.

        1. gvvt

          Hmmmm. Russ Feingold or Ron Johnson…. Who would be the best choice for Wisconsin and the country… "Feingold" sounds sort of … socialist….

  7. SorosBot

    He's got to think of the consequences; what about the alien anchor babes? Selma Hayek's breasts alone make up for whatever bad stuff he imagines "illegals" are responsible for.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    Are you sure it wasn't a hispanic person's car that was tagged by a bunch of racists? Of course I'm thinking that because it makes more sense than some idiot painting that shit all oer his own car — and I do live in a pretty constant state of dumbfoundedness at humanity, so — um — I'm going to go open another bottle of wine.

    1. UW8316154

      I thought that, too, Wookies. It doesn't look like an inside job to me. Prolly the vandalized car of a fully legitimate, hard working messican american worked over by a bunch of hating whities.

  9. DoktorZoom

    Is that "Abort Ancors"? Clearly a letter's missing there, and by golly, I could get behind a policy of aborting Rancors. Nasty beasties all around.

  10. imissopus

    No no no you libtards. See, all these illegals put their crappy cars up on blocks in their yards. What I've done here is taken that concept and tweaked it by spray-painting anti-immigrant dogma all over my crappy '79 Ford Fairmont. Thus the need for liberals to identify with the signifier of the type of car itself yet be repelled by the slogans covering that signifier. It's art and meta-art all at once. I'm sure they'll love it at RedState when I post it over there.

    1. Barrelhse

      Post it over there? You should DRIVE it over, then apply for that job opening they have in Creative. You'll be the top-dog!

    1. petehammer

      FS – 1996 Buick 4d – $1500: AC, PW, PD, PS, needs new trans, has newish whitewall tires, massive amounts of racist bullshit on body. Call T. Tancredo at x3787

  11. horsedreamer_1

    Given this is a Bagger's car, I have to assume the remake of the Jerry van Dyke classic is all about incest.

  12. mcmile

    Is that a 1989 Honda Accord? Because if it is, then kudos to you, photo-taking person. '89 Accords are most rare. Most rare.

  13. Extemporanus

    The worst thing about owning a crappy Chrysler KKK-car is that everyone always wants to check under the hood.

    *rimjob*

  14. dogscantlookup

    No pigs, no lyin' bitch, no hassle! Y'all are brutalizing' me. Can't a man not drink his beer in silence? Can't a man not crudely lie and scream? Can't a man not control his bitch with violence? Y'all are brutalizing me! Y'all are brutalizing me.

    1. Terry

      Next time you watch Star Trek Wrath of Khan, trying yelling that line as Ricardo Montalban rises up behind the wrecked console of the bridge during the battle. It makes the movie much much better.

  15. CaptainSwing2nd

    As other Wonketteers have noted, if a vehicle doesn't have TruckNuts, it can't belong to a real Ammurracun…

  16. Numbat_Dundee

    Hooray! A racist who's pro-choice! But why does he only want the English? What's wrong with the Irish and the Welsh? What about the Scottish and the Manx persons?

  17. Serolf_Divad

    Till recently, racist fucktards haven't had a socially acceptable outlet for their unbalanced fulminations. Thanks to Fox, Lou Dobbs and the GOP, however they can wear their racism on their sleeve, secure in the knowledge that there is a massive media and political apparatus standing behind them ready to defend the proposition that their hatred of brown people is not actually racism, but merely a healthy concern over the "problem of open borders."

  18. PsycWench

    "If you are OPPOSED TO ILLEL ALIANS then show ur OPOSITIOn by SPRAYING RANDOM HOT-BUTTON FRASES on yr crappy car and taking a pitcher of it and making it your profile picture on Facebook. 97% of you will not do this! Take back OUR CONTRY!"

    in the 2010 edition of Slacktivism for Idiots

  19. Oblios_Cap

    You've got to marvel at the mindset of anybody who paints "English Only" on their car and then proceeds to cover the rest of it in Low Jaberwocky.

  20. BarryOPotter

    He's fixated on aliens because he feels "this probing has gotten way out of control!" and it's just not fun any more.

  21. weejee

    At what point does it become a good idea to just start writing shit all over your car?

    Well my dear sister used to run a contest to decide who, rather than when. She was an elementary school art teacher and would run a contest all year where the kids could earn points for giving art a chance. The winning class would get to paint her parade float scale olde Caddy. The paint job was always interesting, sometimes to the state patrol who when seeing it would get to thinkin' "we got us one of them goddamn hippies." They'd pull up and see my straighter than straight sis tryin' to sit-up tall so she could see over the dash, and then head off somewhere else.

  22. slappypaddy

    my apache friend matthew dropped by this morning. we talked about this over coffee. he said, "shit, if we deported all you illegal aliens, our business would collapse. for 400 years you illegal immigrants fucked us up one side and down the other. now we've got casinos and we're fleecing you like sheep, and you want to go and deport yourselves? and leave us to clean up the mess you made out of this country?"

    i said, "matthew, i'm not illegal. my people been here 250 years."

    he said, "fuck, mine been here 25,000. let me see your papers, white boy."

  23. Redhead

    "We do hope the Illegal Aliens leave very quickly so that this important part of the country can regain its dignity, somehow."

    You say that like either that car or its driver ever had dignity to lose and regain in the first place.

  24. msatlas

    Yes, this is in Madison, WI. Aside from the fact it's an old Buick (which is by far the most popular vehicle in the entire state), this car isn't a fair representation of our city. We're a bunch of midwestern hippie liberals here for the most part. This yokel probably hasn't even met an illegal alien since Madison is easily 85% white, and they're not stealing his job because we have one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country. So basically we here in Madison also think this person is an ass.

  25. MadBrahms

    Man, passing kidney stones is painful, but aborting an anchor? I guess that`s what you get for having an (illegal) affair with a ocean liner, though.

  26. fearcondiment

    Not only is this in Madison, WI, but the lot where this fuckknuckle has parked his squat-art is a Popeye's Fried Chicken. Nothing like tarting up the old Regal with some hate-spray and then heading out for some Looooooooosiana q-zine served fresh by the dudes from Oaxaca who beat you out for the fry-cook gig (because they did better on the English proficiency test).

    Like the accents on the window frames, though. Nice touch.

  27. notreelyhelping

    If this guy was behind you (tailgating, surely), the impulse to slow to exactly two mph under the speed limit would be simply irresistable…and then you'd probably rear-end the car in front of you because you'd be watching the rear-view mirror, waiting for his head to explode, a la "Scanners."

  28. FoxyO_Wiley

    They also exchange brains at the Midwest Engine Exchange. This guy went in for a Yugo model, a step up from his current total dumb shit model.

  29. __kth__

    Dying to know the make and model. My best guess is that it's a Chevy Lumina, one of the worst cars ever made. So maybe that's why he's bitter.

  30. ttommyunger

    The main reason this vehicle is not in motion? The owner/artist soon learned that even in the most backward localities there are minorities operating other vehicles with painted letters on them, such as: "Police", Highway Patrol", "State Police" and so one…

  31. JustPixelz

    "abort ancors"

    And the nominees are:

    Glenn Beck
    Sean Hannity
    Bill O'Reilly
    Gretchen Carlson

    May I have the envelope please….

  32. GOPCrusher

    You know, that Mr. Buford T. Justice, or whoever owns that Buick, thinks that tax cuts to the rich are going to save this country.

  33. Worthly Wokette Skum

    I kind of hate to mention this, but isn't it possible some right-wing assholes vandalized some poor Hispanic's car here?

    1. UW8316154

      I put that thought out there, too. Looks more like drunken white vandalism rather than teatard proclamations to me.

  34. J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    A little googling shoes that this photo was taken at the Madison, WI Popeye's. There is a possibility that this person may be black ?!?!?

  35. AntonovBureau

    The tree is blocking the view, but what is a "Engine Exchange" anyway?

    Is this one of those financial dervitative or mortgage back securities thingies?

    Death to those evil midwest bankers!

  36. Barbara_i

    This car looks like it is made out of drywall and compressed rust. The spray paint just makes it better.

  37. NuttGobbler

    I know this town. In fact, I've lived there. It's (insert name) Iowa/Nebraska/Indiana, and there is literally one fucking Mexican in the whole county who just happens to have a job doing something halfway respectable.

Comments are closed.