From a recent Michele Bachmann statement that was supposedly concerning earmarks:
Recently, porking has gotten way out of control.
That is one way of putting it. [Minnesota Independent via operatives "SayItWithWookies," "Julie K."]
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Between the broods she and Palin have, I'd say so. Just say anal, Michelle.
Winter is always the season of uncontrollable porking.
A porking a day keeps the Muslins away.
"Recently, porking has gotten way out of control."
Someone should have told Bachmann's parents that.
Is that what they are going to be doing in her constitutional reeducation classes? Sign me up!
I can smell the crazy on her from here (Ohio), so obviously she'd be great at porking.
D'you think? Could you do it? Tough call.
Yes, and that's the fault of the abstinence-only education that Bachmann herself promotes; without that a lot more porking would be controlled (and her pal Sarah Palin wouldn't be a grandmother yet).
Sadly, sadly, not around my place.
Pricelessly pin-headed.. You can't make this stuff up. And tragically, we don't have to.
Thus spaketh the Other White Meat.
Please don't tell this to the people at that Muslim-free BBQ place in Alabama.
She just heard that somebody porked a hole in the Metrodome, which confused her, because Michele never thought of it as slutty.
I don't know why she'd be surprised. Their bridge eventually caved to pressure too.
Are you telling me the dome on the Metrodome is a giant piece of contraception?
I wouldn't pork Michele Bachmann with a 10-foot Gallup Poll.
You sure? Not even to see that moment when her face goes from stern-schoolmarm to crazed weasel, as the first of a sequence of increasingly spasmodic orgasms radiates out from her vaj to her scalp, her fingertips, the soles of her feet, and her muscles convulse in ever-repeating waves, and the contractions between her legs squeeze so hard you can barely…
I just made myself sick.
I'm an disturbingly aroused. Go on…
I wouldn't fuck her with YOUR dick.
And she wouldn't pork you with a pound of Pelosi.
What you don't report is that during the filmed interview with Bachmann, a farmhand in the background was jamming a pig headfirst into a wood chipper.
Once you get started, it's hard to stop. Just ask Bristol.
Or Willow.
Now, you're going to have to apologize personally to Sarah Palin.
When porking gets out of control, I recommend that you and your partner stop, take a breath, get out of the swing, unstrap, and try just old fashioned bed-based porking . You'll be able to maintain better control that way. (The more you know!)
Reminds me of my wedding night.
Damn you, petehammer. GIT OUTTA MAH BAIDRUHM.
Oh, you mean the leather swingset, with the monkey and the gun?
What's the gun for?
It's a line from the extremely odd "Nick Swardson's Pretend Time" show. He never explained what the gun was for, sadly.
He's talking with a couple, who asked "Have we met before?"
He says "Maybe we met through ted? Older guy; he's got a diarrhea waterfall? The leather swing set with the monkey and the gun? "
She's into parallel porking. Nevadans are into angle, but not enough to save Sharron.
I'm using the term "parallel porking" next time she comes up on Breitbart. Sue me.
Gladly! But Frank Loesser put it this way:
Serve a paper and sue me, sue me
What can you do me,
I love you.
(Yes, this is rather sudden . . .)
Why do I have this urge to refer to Congresswoman Bachmann henceforth as Princess Airhead Dildo Pork Fart?
Can you fit a "You be da man!" in there somewhere?
Bless her cold slimy heart. She just gives and gives so we can laugh and cry.
Between her and Steve King, they almost seem to be having a contest to see which one can out crazy the other, and we laugh.
Then we think of those that keep voting for them to represent them, and we cry.
Sounds reasonable; and flattering.
Maybe your urge has something to do with the fact that you have a 12-year old's mentality. And sense of humor.
I thought you were a lady, Michele? Also, last count, you don't seem to mind the porking when it's big farm subsidies you and your family have been getting for years, do you?
First tea bag, now porking. Please leave the slang alone.
Oh you know that once Michele has figured out what she said, she will issue a statement claiming that the perverts that want to see her fail, made the term "porking" reflect some sexual act.
Some ghostwriter is on the long downhill slide towards writing Joe Barton's tweets.
All America needs is a Gatorade to replenish her electrolytes.
It's what Bachmann craves!
Upgrayded!
With all this porking, it's important to keep your fluid levels up. To prevent cramping.
So much for Abstinence.
Carnal advice from a carnival clown.
What does she know about porking? I thought all her money-anchor-foster babies were rentals and I can't imagine anyone has been able to make a weener angry around teh krazee eyezballs she always has.
Certainly not her gay husband.
Newt would do her in a heartbeat, if he could get it up without being suck-started; and Michelle, she no do dat.
Wrong.
Pictures, pictures!
Sez the Baby Farmer whose husbands' Christian therapy office gets money from the gummit.
And! The Bachmanns own farm land that they get goobermint money for not farming.
These tards need to stop with the verbing.
One person's out of control porking is another's much needed stimulus package. Rowr!
Maybe Bachmann keeps constantly yammering away on TV as part her anti-porking campaign, since she knows one sight of her crazy-eyed face leaves viewers unable to pork for hours afterwords.
Jack, I respectfully request that you never ever write anything else which connects Michele Bachmann and porking in my mind. My sanity can only take so many hits.
Links, pics or GTFO!
Wookies have gotten "Way out of Control"
"Controlled porking" is the rhythm method, which Michelle does not condone.
Being as blindingly, stiffly white as she is, rhythm is as alien as humor to Michelle McCuntish.
"Damn it, Michele! I thought we agreed to keep our love on the DL, boo!"
Pig in a poke?
Pork! Pork! Pork! Pork! Oh, sorry.
As a Democrat, I'm much more concerned about out-of-control cowing.
Meanwhile, Dr. Bachmann had no comment.
Hard for him to talk with Congresswoman McNutcase sitting on his face.
Big snowstorm in Michele's district this weekend. Plenty of snowday porking occurred. Drunken snowday porking, among those who stocked up in advance.
Minnesota pro tip: Always be sure to have a liquor supply for unexpected weather events, and avoid the lines.
Porking is out of control, eh? Anyone who has seen anything from Max Hardcore's oeuvre can tell you this.
I'm a big fan of uncontrollable porking, myself.
You just pig out?
I'm a big fan of uncontrollably porking myself as well!
Me likey the controlled porking, uncontrolled orgasming. The kind where you have to pull the sheets out of the crack of your ass afterwards.
Everything is better with bacon.
Everything is crazier with Bachmann.
THIS is crazy good!
O'Donnell's against masturbating, Bachmann's against porking, they both really need to get laid….
She's against porking? That explains why she married a gay man.
Holy shit that's no joke. I cannot believe we let Cocktober pass without hammering this point. From now on whenever this slag is the subject of conversation, I shall not fail to raise this important point. No wonder she was trying to tongue the President on the floor of the Congress while in joint session. Wasn't this Arianna Huffington's mode of operation as well? I guess in Arianna's case she masturbated to Al Franken's promotional head shot one too many times, and went lefty. Is Michele due to head over to our side some day? Would we welcome her on condition of buttsechs?
Come on over Shelly,
There's a whole lotta porkin' going on!
~
Usually the people who can't get any are the ones who bitch the most about others porking. *cough* Michelle *cough*
I can't help thinking; if she just had a penis in her mouth, she wouldn't be saying such crazy, ignorant shit.
Recently, porking has gotten way out of control?
And I missed it? How did I miss it? I always miss it *sniff*.
All these shameful porking violations.
I just got done Porking and I'll tell you what – it beats the holy hell out of looking at Wonkette,,,,particularly when it comes with an awesome blowey! YAHOOOOOOOO!
Gawdalmighty Jesus, Joseph and Mary, if only Michele was speaking the truth!
"Too much, ain't enough." –
Jerry Jeff Walker
Words, words. I still remember when "hooking up" actually meant networking or meeting with someone, and I'm only a 20-something. Sigh.
Here a pork, there a pork, everywhere a pork pork.
If only I could turn the Paige on some porking…
Michele Bachmann…the gift that keeps on giving.
I hear she porks like a Minnesota mink.
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