I FEEL FREE  3:43 pm December 13, 2010

North Korea Wants Eric Clapton

by Jack Stuef

Gross, old man.According to diplomacy nip-slip site WikiLeaks, North Korea loves Eric Clapton and wants him to perform in their country as a Clapton-American favor of “good will,” which is what North Koreans call temporarily halting their development of nuclear weapons and targeting of South Koreans to shoot in exchange for free stuff from the West. Or that is what North Korean leaders call it, because the rest of their countrymen have eaten their own larynges as a source of food and thus cannot speak. It is also rumored that Kim Jong-Il’s sons went to Clapton concerts when they were attending school in Switzerland, because all kids, even Kims, like hot tween pop-stars like Eric Clapton.

But wait! Maybe somebody just really wants to meet Eric Clapton and lied to South Korea about this matter.

But one analyst cautioned Sunday that the 2007 cable’s contents could say more about an intermediary’s interest in trying to promote himself by arranging a high-profile performance than North Korea’s leadership.

It’s too bad Clapton hasn’t performed. We’d like to see his rendition of whatever the hell this is:

[CNN]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 171 comments }

GuyClinch December 13, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Hey, North Korea, keep trying! I'm sure you can eventually get Rick Springfield or Corey Hart or Billy Squier. Or Eddie Money, eventually.

arclight2012 December 13, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Surely The Hoff can do it!

Lascauxcaveman December 13, 2010 at 5:07 pm

I'm going to be really disappointed if the "South Park" people don't have an episode up in a couple weeks where the State Department misunderstands the request and sends as goodwill ambassador Eric Cartman.

Gopherit December 13, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Please, in the name of all that's holy, send Bob Seger.

Turn that page.

DashboardBuddha December 13, 2010 at 6:31 pm

I'm G-g-g-going to Katmandu

(N-n-n-no you're not)

genxr December 13, 2010 at 4:22 pm

The county fair won't be the same without them.

Lascauxcaveman December 13, 2010 at 4:30 pm

They don't know he's British, do they?

johnnymeatworth December 13, 2010 at 4:45 pm

What about Molly Hatchet? Flirtin' With Disaster!

anniegetyourfun December 13, 2010 at 4:47 pm

A rickrolling may be in order, N. Korea. You think you're getting Eric Clapton, but we're sending Rick Astley.

GOPCrusher December 13, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Saw Eddie Money do his show in the parking lot of a casino.
I like Eddie Money, but that was one of the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. A man who went from filling 75,000 seat stadiums to drawing maybe 100 aging alcoholics.

SorosBot December 13, 2010 at 4:52 pm

It sounds like someone lost both of his tickets to paradise.

imissopus December 13, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Oh won't somebody think of Bruce Hornsby?

LetUsBray December 14, 2010 at 1:19 pm

I was going to nominate Phil Collins. But that would just make them hate us more, wouldn't it?

StillGoinGreen December 13, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Maybe we could get Clapton to go over there and push Kim's babies out of the window of a tall building – for freedoms!!!11!

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Still too soon!

StillGoinGreen December 13, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Still??!!

BarryOPotter December 13, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Yeah, Still, 'still'.

Oh that's just grrrreat! See what you did?! Now John Boner (Curses be upon him) is going to cry! Thanks, Still! Just…., /*while walking away* "Shut up, John!

imissopus December 13, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Hey, did we laugh when your three-year-old expressed an interest in BASE jumping?

bumfug December 13, 2010 at 3:50 pm

"I shot the Glorious Leader but I did not shoot his goofy-ass son…"

PublicLuxury December 13, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Will the Glorious Leader know your name in Heaven? Maybe there will be Tears in Heaven

jim89048 December 13, 2010 at 5:06 pm

If so, Boner's already there.

Bonzos_Bed_Time December 13, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Clapton is God!

ManchuCandidate December 13, 2010 at 3:52 pm

To be fair, the Kims thought that Eric Clapton sang: "I'm a Seoul Man."

the_onceler December 13, 2010 at 3:53 pm

Watch out Kim Jong-Il– Eric Clapton stole the wife of one of the Beatles.

jim89048 December 13, 2010 at 4:34 pm

And wrote a song about it! Probably.

V572625694 December 13, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Layla?

jim89048 December 13, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Rumour has it, though wikileaks doesn't support that.

Badonkadonkette December 13, 2010 at 3:53 pm

They probably want Manimal back on the air too.

BornInATrailer December 13, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Yeah, but who doesn't?

HurricaneAli December 13, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Let's start an online petition! Whoo!

Badonkadonkette December 13, 2010 at 4:12 pm

That's so true – Simon MacCorkindale was the man.

GuyClinch December 13, 2010 at 3:54 pm

I hear Putin might be starting up a Fats Domino Tribute Tour.

Extemporanus December 13, 2010 at 3:54 pm

CLAPTON IS DOG

WarAndGee December 13, 2010 at 3:54 pm

"Thank you very much for coming. You play 'Kim Jong Look Lovely Tonight' or live in work camp."

SorosBot December 13, 2010 at 3:56 pm

It sounds like North Korea is behind the times again, and doesn't know that Clapton has done nothing but dull, overly sentimental crap since the early 90s.

GuyClinch December 13, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Yeah, srsly. Lil' Kim is usually out there on the vanguard, looking for the newest, most challenging music. His posts on Pitchfork are the best!

SorosBot December 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Maybe we can find some other washed up, once good rocker if Clapton won't do it; how about Billy Joel? Guns 'n Roses?

GuyClinch December 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Yea, definitely Billy Joel. And if we can somehow get him drunk and behind the wheel, he could easily destroy Pyongyang. Our Trojan horse!

BarryOPotter December 13, 2010 at 4:55 pm

"No way, Kim! I'm dri- driv- drivin'! Where- wher- where's the wheel? Ha- Imjuskiddin' No, I'm- I'm O- I'm OK. Ghiit in. Les go…"

SorosBot December 14, 2010 at 12:36 am

Somehow get him drunk and behind the wheel? All Billy needs is a) alcohol and b) a car and that happens pretty much automatically.

Rotundo_ December 13, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Send Axl in! The Kims will love him! And if he (predictably) screws the pooch, he spends the rest of his life making boulders into pebbles for them. What a win!

horsedreamer_1 December 14, 2010 at 1:07 am

It was enough trouble calling the album Chinesse Democracy. Imagine taking it to the enemy, live.

Chet Kincaid December 13, 2010 at 10:41 pm

"Paxil" Rose could tutor the Kims in the finer points of Chinese Democracy.

horsedreamer_1 December 14, 2010 at 1:07 am

You said it better — & earlier.

BorderJumper! December 13, 2010 at 3:59 pm

"Ohhhh…Eric Crapton!"

forgracie December 13, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Pray song Croakain!

BorderJumper! December 13, 2010 at 4:08 pm
OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Bear Bottom Brews!

VinnyThePooh December 13, 2010 at 7:53 pm

You're going straight to hell for that comment. Straight. To. Hell. And I'll be right behind you for laughing my ass off.

StillGoinGreen December 13, 2010 at 4:50 pm

Why is it infinitely funnier when liberals are racist assholes as opposed to when the right does it? I feel absorutery rousy for having tears running down my face while reading this thread!

BorderJumper! December 13, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Liberals do it tastefurry…and they don't actuarry discriminate.

StillGoinGreen December 13, 2010 at 5:08 pm

I get it,  poking fun of inability to differentiate between “l” and “r” in rangrage – left wing funny.  Owning a couple of foreigners and having them deported just prior to your gubernatorial campaign, “so they won’t bring down the heat”, right wing racist.  Crystal!

Guppy06 December 13, 2010 at 5:26 pm

The big difference is that we don't follow it up with "Some of my best friends are North Korean," or "North Koreans love me!"

jus_wonderin December 13, 2010 at 4:54 pm

You guys……..are hirarious.

CapeClod December 13, 2010 at 3:59 pm

So our guys are going to have "Further On Up The Road" blaring out of the helicopters in the upcoming Korean conflict?

Monsieur_Grumpe December 13, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Don’t go Eric! They’ll brainwash you and send you back to the free world to ummmmm to…
My conspiracy theory seems to have a hole in it.

StillGoinGreen December 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm

Just doesn't have the same visual of ole Jane getting pole fucked by a Viet Cong tank cannon. Just sayin.

Come here a minute December 13, 2010 at 4:02 pm

How about Johnny Marr?

GuyClinch December 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Johnny Marr? With all due respect, I must protest. Otherwise, my "Still Ill" tattoo was a mistake.

horsedreamer_1 December 14, 2010 at 1:08 am

How Soon Is Mao?

metamarcisf December 13, 2010 at 4:02 pm

Eric Clapton: Living Proof of the theory that drugs really do make you play better.

SorosBot December 13, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Both rockers and comedians tend to stop being good when they go sober.

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

And mystery writers, also.

SudsMcKenzie December 13, 2010 at 4:18 pm

revre

weejee December 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

No so sure about the drugz, but like with sprinters those qwik twitchie muscles tend to peak when yur young. Back in the day, did get to see a Brit trio at a teen dance place called the Cellar in Arlington Heights, IL. 20-minute + jams from the Cream were a bit of a change from the Monkeys and those most festive Turtles.

V572625694 December 13, 2010 at 5:15 pm

The main Turtles were also in one of Zappa's "Mothers of Invention" bands.

jim89048 December 13, 2010 at 5:19 pm

Flo and Eddie ftw!

Rarian Rakista December 13, 2010 at 7:36 pm

Its not the drugs, its the lifestyle, people who don't do drugs or drink are by and by boring because they surround themselves with non-confrontational things.

weejee December 13, 2010 at 4:02 pm

I'm surprised. I woulda thought Glorious Pleader Kim and little Kim Chi were Prince fans all the way. Did they miss the R&R HoF rendition of While My Guitar Gently Weepz?

GOPCrusher December 13, 2010 at 4:58 pm

Seen Prince before he went off the deep end and changed his name to some indescribable symbol. One of the greatest concerts I've ever seen. Doesn't matter what instrument he plays, he lays it all out on the stage.

DeeJayKitteh December 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and now Eric Clapton? I think Dear Leader might have some kind of secret weapon formula that prominently features old white American men.

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Ahem! Last time I checked, Clapton was an old white Englishman.

Lascauxcaveman December 13, 2010 at 4:35 pm

*snort*

Yeah, right. Next thing you're going to tell me is that Thomas Jefferson didn't write the Magna Carta.

DeeJayKitteh December 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm

D'oh! Negative 1,000 Rock & Roll points for me. I got the old and white part right though. Do I get some back if I quote Meatloaf here and say "two out of three ain't bad"?

jim89048 December 13, 2010 at 4:40 pm

I think he still lives in New York though, so it's an easy mistake to make.

HistoriCat December 13, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Since when is New York in America? Real America, I mean.

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:47 pm

If you mention M**tl**f again I'll bust your teeth out. God, what a f*cking drama queen of a one-hit wonder. If I wanted to listen to musicals I'd move to New York. And why were they screaming so ardently about sex when Mr. Loaf was such a fat slob? Not that there's anything wrong with that.

GOPCrusher December 13, 2010 at 5:14 pm

EDDIE!

Rarian Rakista December 13, 2010 at 7:36 pm

He has lived in the US for decades though.

LionelHutzEsq December 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm

When asked for comment, Mr. Clapton replied:

If you wanna hang out you've got to take her out; cocaine.
If you wanna get down, down on the ground; cocaine.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie; cocaine.

HurricaneAli December 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm

I see the North Koreans more as 10cc fans.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm

I was thinking Bay City Rollers.

HurricaneAli December 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Gonna keep on dancin' to the
rock and roll
On Saturday night, Saturday night
Dancin' to the rhythm while we
blow up Seoul
On Saturday Night, Saturday night
IIIII just can't wait,
IIII got a date

BornInATrailer December 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm

Morry Hatchett

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Rynyrd Skynyrd.

elviouslyqueer December 13, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Nah. North Korea would never allow "Freebird" to be played.

GOPCrusher December 13, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Toto.

imissopus December 13, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Boston!

It's more than a freering,
More than a freering,
I see my Marian rawking array…

Buzz Feedback December 13, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Clapton and Jim Morrison? Is it has-been week?

SystemError December 13, 2010 at 4:12 pm

OK North Korea, but the Armistice Agreement of 1953 says that you only get to hear the piano part at the end of "Layla" and not the rockin' guitar part.

LetUsBray December 14, 2010 at 1:26 pm

And if there are any more border incidents they'll be downgraded to the Unplugged version.

slithytoves December 13, 2010 at 4:12 pm

It's too bad Clapton hasn't performed. We'd like to see his rendition of whatever the hell this is.

I'm pretty sure that's a cover of Andrew Lloyd Webber's… fill in the blank.

MissTaken December 13, 2010 at 4:13 pm

He's no Frampton

Extemporanus December 13, 2010 at 4:30 pm

TRUE FACT: Prior to the release of Eric Clapton's Unplugged, the best-selling live album of all time was Peter Frampton's Frampton Comes Alive!

Steverino247 December 13, 2010 at 4:35 pm

What kind of a song lyric is "I'm in you!" Sounds more like a surprised teen boy in his first sexual encounter…

GuyClinch December 13, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Hope he's not a Swedish boy; what with all his surprise, I guess the girl/boy would be in the pokey with Assange.

OC_Surf_Serf December 13, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Rayra, hou've got me on my neezs.
Rayra, R'm beggin, darring pluu-leese.
Rayra, darring ron't you reaze my worrorrorrirryyrred mind.

slithytoves December 13, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Jesus, your racist caricature of Asian speech is so off. My mother does much better than that. "Beggin darring preeze." And not reaze; they can say "ease."

elviouslyqueer December 13, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

slithytoves December 13, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Today we are all OC_Surf_Serf's Jim Ward's Lil Kim's….

StillGoinGreen December 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm

You just made me bite my fucking tongue trying to vocalize this. DAMN YOU SURF_SERF!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!11!11!

slithytoves December 13, 2010 at 5:05 pm

Yeah, just wait till I go to work tomorrow and try to have a conversation with my Korean (South) colleague. Morer of mercy.

mereoblivion December 13, 2010 at 4:15 pm

In the interests of continuing to exploit our previously deceased genii, let's send them a "Live Dead" contingent: Duane, Jimi, Janis, Keith Moon on drums, Jerry G, some elements of Lynnyrrd Skynnnyrrrd, the recently pardoned (by Charlie Crist!) J. Morrison, Rick Nelson . . .

lulzmonger December 14, 2010 at 11:35 am

Tickets at Ticketmaster – Extra-Strength Nilodor sold seperately.

SudsMcKenzie December 13, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Forever man, forever man, forever man.
Try to be your forever man.

Talk to the Boss

MinAgain December 13, 2010 at 4:16 pm

There's a nuclear cloud following me.
Feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

SnarkoMarx December 13, 2010 at 4:16 pm

I'm kind of surprised they aren't trying to get Paul McCartney since he looks quite a bit like Kim himself. Not to mention looking like Angela Lansbury. Also.

PsycWench December 13, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Is there any way we could send them Justin Bieber instead?

DashboardBuddha December 13, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Justin Bieber AND all of this country's contemporary christian bands.

Rarian Rakista December 13, 2010 at 7:37 pm
genxr December 13, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Can we send Ted Nugent instead?

MissTaken December 13, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Lil Kim Chi gives me cat scratch fever

PublicLuxury December 13, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Kim Jong Layla says, "You look wonderful tonight."

Monsieur_Grumpe December 13, 2010 at 4:20 pm
genxr December 13, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Pat Boone can do cover versions of all their favorite 80s metal hits!

Monsieur_Grumpe December 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

With meat!

twogoats December 13, 2010 at 5:08 pm

This is the sort of thing that encourages vegetarianism.

DashboardBuddha December 13, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Sweet Jesus…that's a creepy picture. I've seen more lifelike images in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World.

ManchuCandidate December 13, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Updated lyrics for knocking on Heaven's door.

Kim Jong Il press the button please
They'll regret it any more.
It's getting dark, too dark to see (cause South Korea cut off our oil!).
Feel like I'm nukin' on America's shores.

Nuke, nuke, nukin' on America's shores
Nuke, nuke, nukin' on America's shores.
Nuke, nuke, nukin' on America's shores.
Nuke, nuke, nukin' on America's shores.

Won't take these nukes away from me.
I want to shoot them more.
There's a big mushroom cloud following me.
Feel like I'm nukin' on America's shores.

user-of-owls December 13, 2010 at 4:21 pm

I think Hillary lick lorred North Korea.

An_Outhouse December 13, 2010 at 4:23 pm

They can have Clapton but they also have to take Lynyrd Skyryrd and Ted Nugent. Only Clapton gets the round trip ticket, the others have to stay in NK.

bitchincamaro2 December 13, 2010 at 4:42 pm

Damn you.

HedonismBot December 13, 2010 at 6:43 pm

No the Nuge can't go. There are endangered animals that have found a home in the DMZ. We don't want him going on a safari…

refudiatedness December 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

US: Creme of Clapton? Off the table.
NK: How about the creme of some young guy?

Tip your waitresses sheeple!

PublicLuxury December 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

What's that smell? OOOoooooo that smell.

mrblifil December 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Something tells me the cream of Clapton would smell like stale beer, tobacco and groupie cooze.

prommie December 13, 2010 at 4:28 pm

Holy shit! He really is God; is there nothing he cannot do?

Clancy_Pants December 13, 2010 at 4:33 pm

He's a bit of trouble in electric blue.
In his own mad mind
he's in love with you
with you.
Now what you gonna do?

prommie December 13, 2010 at 4:34 pm

I guess they couldn't call it "Clapton Comes Alive," huh?

LionelHutzEsq December 13, 2010 at 4:34 pm

This is all just an elaborate attempt on part of the North Koreans to get to George Harrison's wife.

Steverino247 December 13, 2010 at 4:37 pm

OK, we'll trade Clapton for the USS Pueblo and an apology for swiping our boat in the first place.

bitchincamaro2 December 13, 2010 at 4:41 pm

They gotta' take Nugent too, or no deal.

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Poor Ted, what would he kill? No animals left!

SudsMcKenzie December 13, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Thats pretty obvious isnt it?

Rotundo_ December 13, 2010 at 6:55 pm

They'll give him dissidents to shoot. Gonzo will love two legged prey. Bow or gun Ted would go for it in a heartbeat.

fuflans December 13, 2010 at 4:44 pm

i'm glad our nation's diplomats are finally concerning themselves w/ these things.

valgal2342 December 13, 2010 at 5:02 pm

As well as being God, isn't Eric Clapton British? Is America now his tour manager?

SorosBot December 13, 2010 at 5:14 pm

If America is Clapton's manager, they'll be sending him to the desert on a horse with no name.

BornInATrailer December 13, 2010 at 5:03 pm

I think we should promise to send Clapton but then send Rick Astley instead.

"Astrey instead of Crapton?? God Dammit, I got rick-rorred!!!"

..and with that I've used up my allotment of Engrish jokes and then some (sorry Asian folk).

Guppy06 December 13, 2010 at 5:06 pm

I'm pretty sure that's the Bohemian Rhapsody in Korean.

OneDollarJuana December 13, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Sing pretty good for starving people, huh?

Guppy06 December 13, 2010 at 5:20 pm

To be honest, even in the West, totalitarianism and high art have always gone together. Pick your favorite artist/composer/etc. and then check out whose commission they were working for.

slithytoves December 13, 2010 at 5:32 pm

The moar notes you play, the moar food you gets.

DashboardBuddha December 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm

If you have to sing for your supper, it helps if you can actually sing.

genxr December 13, 2010 at 6:41 pm

History never records your drunk cousin Phil the half-assed job he did painting the Sistine Chapel, before they had to hire that other guy to do it right.

elviouslyqueer December 13, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Moar cowbell!

prommie December 13, 2010 at 5:07 pm

They'd get more meat off of someone like Rueben Studdard or even Cee-Lo, I suppose Randy Bachman and Lesley West are too old and tough by now. Meatloaf lost too much weight.

WALLYPIP December 13, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Clapton should definitely go but he should only play air guitar.

Gorillionaire December 13, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Interesting video. I had no idea that Liberace had written a piano concerto for orchestra and zombie choir.

metamarcisf December 13, 2010 at 5:16 pm

If we give them EC, will they keep Bill Richardson permanently?

sussemilch December 13, 2010 at 5:33 pm

Definitely send Clapton over, if there's anyone who can get Kim to relax and have a drink, it's him.

Jukesgrrl December 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Re: the photo. When did Don Johnson change his name to Clapton?

Oldskool_ December 13, 2010 at 5:57 pm

Gotta be a set up. As he plays "Badge" they pin a biggin on new dear leader.

mavenmaven December 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm

Isn't this a video of the nightly entertainment at the club those republicans spent all that money at?

Pragmatist2 December 13, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Hint to Kim Il Jung: Go to a lonely crossroads at midnight and look for a sinister character hanging out there. Offer him your soul (trust me, your soul isn't worth much) and Clapton will be yours.

DashboardBuddha December 13, 2010 at 6:24 pm

There's one point at the beginning where it sounds like the opening chords to the Bohemian Rhapsody. I got excited for a moment…that would be totally AWESOME

DashboardBuddha December 13, 2010 at 6:28 pm

At 5:23, I was hoping the soloist was going to sing, How do you solve a problem like Kim Jong-Il

arihaya December 13, 2010 at 6:29 pm

i though they want Justin Beiber ,,,,,

xsluggo December 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm

North Korea, home of the no-cal diet. Let them eat riffs.

Radiotherapy December 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Our Great Leader, an American Rogue, Sarah Palin, is very confused by this dipromatic request.

weejee December 13, 2010 at 7:14 pm

She's made a fortune selling confusion.

weejee December 13, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Could we give the Kims an E7#9 moment and re-animate Hendrix and send him over? Zombie Jimi might get along with zombie Kim. Perhaps have Hillz bring some purple double dome for the post concert party. No, maybe not on that last idea. Not all trips are good trips, and the Kimster might be rather unpredictable.

Mrspanky December 13, 2010 at 7:35 pm

Who the hell is selling those Commies Pro Tools and JBL phased arrays?

I thought lip-syncing was for good American girls like Miley, Taylor and Britney?

This is an outrage!

VinnyThePooh December 13, 2010 at 7:58 pm

Send 'em Lee Greenwood. And give 'em The Painter of Blight as a RESET button.

ttommyunger December 13, 2010 at 8:46 pm

They will definitely take Ted Nugent. He makes them feel so superior, since their penis' are all so much larger than Ted's, on average; plus, they have the "Big Missile" compensation thing in common. Toby Keith has to be part of the package, though; that no-talent ugly motherfucker just has to go. BTW, that huge sucking sound you heard about a half-hour ago was Richard Holbrook's ego leaving the planet.

Schmegeg December 13, 2010 at 10:54 pm

If Clapton goes there, will he hook up with Kim Jong-Sun's wife, write a cool 15 minute song about it, and throw somebody out a window?

Negropolis December 14, 2010 at 5:59 am

You say those things as if any of them are bad or undesirable things.

transfatz December 14, 2010 at 2:58 am

"North Korea Wants Eric Clapton"

He is crunchy and good with ketchup.

CaptainSwing2nd December 14, 2010 at 6:31 am

Kimmy and the Hand Jive? I don’t think so – but we could threaten to send Dweeber and Willow Smith, and have Kanye West make a speech at the Dear Leader’s next shindig.
Brutal, inhumane measures I know, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do…

lulzmonger December 14, 2010 at 11:50 am

Sure, give 'em Clapton – it's not like anyone would miss him.

Jesus, that's gotta be the worst version of "Swanee River" EVAR. Had to stop the video after about 2 minutes due to egregious piano-abuse. Also suspect one of said pianos needs tuning … & what is it with dictators & kitsch? Good taste = decadence?

Chet Kincaid December 14, 2010 at 9:35 am

Gotta give credit to the lead singer/guitarist from The Eagles Of Death Metal for "Paxil." Also "Wacksil." (I read an interview with him where he was being all righty. I hope it was part of his act, because otherwise it kinda ruins their party for me.)

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