What is Mike Gravel up to these days? “Probably renting out a basement room in a college house near American University and recording his own podcast that nobody listens to,” you say, and you are most likely correct. But there is something he is also working on: teasing anyone who listen (The Daily Caller) about running for president again. “In an e-mail exchange arranged by his daughter, TheDC asked Gravel if he was considering a run for president in 2012 and if he is specifically considering a primary challenge to President Obama.” And you thought you had a worthless existence. You could be writing for The Daily Caller right now. Anyway, this proves us wrong for be so dismissive about the suggestion that Obama could face a serious primary opponent in 2012, because look, he could face the might of Mike Gravel!
The full transcript of their interview is five questions long. That may not seem like much, but it probably involves at least five e-mails to Mike Gravel’s daughter after having looked her up on Facebook.
Can someone tell us how random people like this in small states end up with the title of “U.S. Senator” and their parties have to still pretend they are legitimate people forty years after they were in office? Oh, right.
Mike Gravel will run against Obama because Obama is weak morally, and he can attack him on that. Obama will eventually be forced to resign because his committee to re-elect will put listening devices in a futon, put it on the curb in front of the frat house across the street from where Gravel lives, and have someone dressed as a jogger in place to offer to help Gravel move the futon, when they watch him seeing it and looking at it lustfully.
If you need any other evidence that Mike Gravel is running for president, this is one of the most recent videos he uploaded to his YouTube account:
SHOTS FIRED, OBAMA. [Daily Caller]
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I think the "morally weak" meme stopped being funny earlier in the week when Obama caved in.
It's just funny (not ha-ha) to see any conversation about morals on Wonkette. If I cared about what someone outside of my immediate family/inner circle had to say about morals, I would watch "The 700 Club." (Is that still on?)
The only reason I'm reading Wonkette is because I'm morally weak.
works that way for me, too. i'm a sinner, and i come here to wallow in my sins with my fellow sinners. puts a shine on my daze.
Ah shit paddy, I was trying to dole out some golden showers and I accidentally hate-fisted ya cuz I is on me iPhone. Will now go urinate, er, ruminate on your other comments.
Haterz gone hate.
Oh the cruel irony, Border Jumper! I accidentally thumbed you down, thereby wreaking havoc on *your* p. This p score stuff is giving me more anxiety than grad school.
No shit. I used to be funny. Now I just have performance anxiety. I've figured out your p goes down if you don't comment for a while, so I start suffering Wonkette guilt when I have to spend time doing useless shit like writing research papers.
I tried to replace it but hey, they won't let me vote on a deleted comment. That doesn't make any sense. I WANT TO VOTE ON DELETED COMMENTS!
I think re-runs of the 700 club are still playing (in Hell).
It is the torture of choice for Jerry Falwell and Tammy Faye Baker.
But wait. Moral navigation is what I come here for.
The Palin Hookworm Conjecture is still running though, right?
Nah, it's still funny.
We are all morally weak now, especially those who clicked on the CNN video.
Which week are you talking about? Which cave? Tax cuts for rich? Public option? Pharma deal? DADT? Afghanistan? Iraq? Not prosecuting war criminals? Gitmo? I could go on.
Spelunking is morally weak.
Yo! Get down, Esso dudes!!
That's like the early 20th century Dougie, y'all.
Lol, remember when gas pumps rarely went above $10?
This was the same time they still had provisions for turning one of the pumps into a Uranium dispenser for atomic powered cars.
And you could buy a plutonium powered wristwatch for a dollar. It never needs winding!
My favorite pumps were the ones with a big, big dial. You selected the grade you wanted, and the price varied accordingly. I was always sure there was just one big underground tank, though, so I always picked the cheapest grade. Worked for me!
Well, he is white and crazy. So he would have that going for him.
White and crazy never fails. White and old isn't a sure thing, but white and crazy wins elections.
So is Gravel for the All-Seeing Eye of Freemasonry or against it?
I'm actually not sure which position would make me more or less likely to vote for him. On the one hand, scary New World Order. On the other, compared to all the other crazy out there, the Freemasons just seem so…quaint. On the other hand, if Mike Gravel would like to come to California and run against Dianne Feinstein, he'd have my vote. Hell, I'd vote for Sauron over DiFi.
sometimes you're the windshield. and sometimes, mr. gravel, you are the bug.
Sometimes you're the frog, and sometimes you're the monkey. most times, you're the frog. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khwjD-KVQ_Q
I take it Gravel needs to run for president so he can embezzle money from the campaign to buy more Depends and Matlock DVDs for the teevee screen.
He needs to be a Wal-Mart greeter like all the other old folks.
Tried that, could not pass the written.
WalMart frowns upon their greeters handing out pamphlets claiming that 9/11 was an inside job.
if this means more cocteau like campaign ads, i'm all for it!
You mean that thing where he throws the rock in the lake? I'm wondering why that hasn't shown up at Cannes, yet.
I see it more like "Un Chien Andalou." That would move some gas.
By God, things are so bad you have to laugh. Mike Gravel, you aren't the only crazy export from Alaska.
Gravel, 80, said he’s done running for office – one reason he’s grown a mustache, he said. (August 18, 2010)
But asked whether his fellow Alaskan – Palin – will run, Gravel said:
“Oh, there's no question about that. Does she — is she gonna be a meaningful candidate? I think so. I don't think she'll get the nomination, but she'll be a meaningful candidate in 2012. She's a very talented political person. Intellectually, I think that leaves to be desired. But from a political, outright, gifted person — I don't know of anybody better on the scene other than Obama.”
Meaningful? Fuck it. I give up.
I don't think he can run across the room let alone for president.
But as long as he can run his mouth….
on the plus side, his campaign speeches may consist of leaked government documents. it won't matter, since he's no longer a senator, but…
the glory days of american greatness – as attested to by our singing and dancing gas station attendants.
Will his rock be his running mate?
The rock's exploratory committee recommended striking out on his own.
I thought he drowned it in the river. In sacrifice to the wolf gods, or something.
That rock only had three days left until retirement….
GRAVEEEELLLLL!!1
Only if his pipe is Secretary of State.
If Mike Gavel and Sarah Palin had a child…
Oh, wait, we already have Trig.
Today we're all running for President.
(Fuck, I hate that meme. Can we make this the last time this is used in the comments section. Ever. Can we? I want to be the one to put this thing to rest.)
Today we're all tired of that meme.
I want to pee all over you!
Today we are all R. Kelly.
Today we are all agreeing with WarandGee.
Today we're all memes.
Today, we're all morally weak.
I was five minutes late for that comment. Crap. I am getting old.
Today we are all morally weak because we can't give up that meme.
You are too much for me TWARFP meme, you sonofawhoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you.
You don't go to warblog with the meme you want, you go to warblog with meme you have.
Today I will hate that meme in 3…2…1….
Now I really hate that meme.
Today I will hate that meme in 3…2…1…. Too. Also!
Today, we are all worn out memes.
we're all meming screamies.
Also, today we are all worn out memes, too.
First!!!1!!
And you knew damn well you'd get a shit ton of replies on that. You're just in it for the p points, Man. It used to be about the snark. You've forgotten about the snark.
Let me be the first to bow down before our meme-denying overlords.
Today, John McCain is sad to know the one thing he ever said that people will remember is becoming annoying.
Get off my lawn?
You know who else hated memes?
Today, we are all at rest.
Ah! The good old days when gasoline had lead in it which might explain the behavior of those pump jockeys.
The lead, of course. That explains that hallucinogenic hell-demon animation at the very end. Gotta be the lead. Or the LSD.
Mileage was what we were after, lead poisoning was the gravy.
Yes, sirree! American had lead in her pencil and a hard-on for the world in those great days.
Wake me when Sharpton announces.
Better yet, Rev. Wright isn't busy these days. Although I suspect that being primaried by either of those guys would help Obama.
Lets get Ted Haggard out there running, I hear he needs work.
I find all this too difficult to comprehend without a Bieber reference.
Or am I just too weak (morally)?
Have you tried to quit smoking, but failed?
I'll have you know that I quit smoking, cold turkey, over six months ago, and … well … let us just say your joke is … too soon.
Oops, sorry. I quit cold turkey about ten years ago. It was a fucking horrible couple of months at the beginning.
My time of cigarette abstinence only lasted maybe three years, though, before I started smoking again. I hope you have better luck.
Stick with it. I quit (tobacco) cigarettes in the 60s and it is the single best thing I have ever done for my body (I still have plenty of other bad habits). Cold turkey is the only way that works. I'm rooting for you.
Sorry but anything Tucker Carlson's cabal dreams up just has to be wrong on its face…regardless of that fact that Mike Gravel is about as dangerous a primary opponent as a ham sandwich.
Agreed. Unless Tucker is detailing his violent homosexual encounters, I don't want to hear from him.
A guy who wanted a quick and orderly withdrawal from Iraq, an end to imperial adventuring all around, no more discrimination against gays, etc – what a laff riot thinking a President could support that kind of shit.
Let's not forget, too, that as a senator he had the Pentagon Papers put into the public record in 1971 to help forestall their being suppressed.
Term limits for all and a national initiative, too. Sounds better than what we have.
I had an acid flashback at the end of that YouTube video.
And also, those two guys would not be allowed to join the military.
Guess I'm morally weak…I've been hanging out on the CNN diarrhea post all day it seems.
I can imagine the confusion surrounding this interview:
Gravel's Daughter: (Sitting at computer.) (Yells.) Dad! I got an email from 'keith@keitholbermann.com'! He wants to interview you!
Mike Gravel: (In another room.) Whut for? And can't it wait, I'm trying to fix this blasted stool that yr. fat son sat on and broke.
G's D: He wants to know if you are running for president. And also what is up with that pyramid movie you made.
MG: Tell him [garbled] and that [garbled] can FUCK OFF!
G's D: (Typing.) "Yeah, why the fuck not; it will get me out of the house AND OUT OF MY DAUGHTER'S HAIR."
I'm dying, here.
This is good news for John McCain!
Breaking News! Turn on Cnn. Big Dawg Coo On White House. Prez gets PO'd "Joe Biden made a stupid gaffe again" look on his face & storms off podium. Bill Clinton new POTUS!
You interrupted my Berniethon for that?
LOL WUT
Originally Esso was going to morph to Enco (Energy Company). Seems that got the axe because Enco means "stolen car" in Japanese. That factoid has absolute nothing to do with Mike Gravel other that he's from Alaska and Sarah Palin is from Alaska, and that Snowbillie Grifter has her head way up her esso.
No va.
"Snowbillie Grifter" is getting almost personal. Watch it.
Another Alaskan original. This guy's named after small bits of broken rock.
He's not doing anything. He's old, he's lonely, and when Daily Caller called, he didn't want to let them off the phone.
I liked the fact that Mike mortgaged his own home to run in '08.
O.K., probably not smart on his part, but showed a lot of heart.
Hey, he probably beat the market crash…
…and not a lot of smarts.
I'm disappointed in that video. I was expecting threesome porn.
OT: I'm sad Wonkette is not live-blogging Bernie right now. Lazy not-journalism if I've ever seen it.
Slow snark day here. We get posts about 800 year-old Mike Gravel telling some door-to-door magazine salesman that he was gonna run for Prez instead of the fact that Barry kept the firm-armed FLOTUS cooling her heels for a half hour while Obamer was talking trash with Slick Willie. Barry ain't gonna get lucky tonight, no siree.
I hate memes.
"Shakes the Clown" – best movie ever!
Gravel / Stockman, 2011!!!
I'd vote for Gravel before I'd cast another vote for Obama.
~
This is good news for John McCain.
For the first time ever, that meme actually makes sense. Bravo! Well done, sir or lady.
Also.
~
Gah
Fuck it, just bring back Pat Paulsen.
Or Papoon. He's not insane!
Someone set up the Daily Caller but it wasn't Mike Gravel's daughter.
Figured that they would interview anyone who might run against Barry for the nomination (next up on their list: Socks, the Clinton's dead cat) told Gravel's daughter to call them and there you have it–easy laughs and a quick and dirty late Friday post for Wonkette.
And in a month, when the Republicans in Congress are passing permanent estate tax repeal, universal offshore drilling, and privatizing the DHS, we'll all go running back to Barry begging him to let us vote for him again.
BTW, just for the record, Jack, Ralph Nader apparently taken Ken's side in this particular conflict.
I'm not sure how you missed this; right now it's apparently the first non-wonkette result for "Obama morally weak".
I'm loath to say it, having voted for Nader (hell, I voted for Jesse Jackson when he came around all those years ago) but fuck Nader. Again.
Oh well if the great Nader has chimed in with his always-astute political acumen…
I was in the studio audience for the SNL show Nader hosted in around 1976. I haven't seen it re-run ever. He wasn't any funnier than he was politically astute.
On the other hand, it was Bill Murray's debut on the show. I"d vote for Bill any day.
That background is making me queasy.
The foreground is making me queasy too.
Shouldn't Mike be over at the Wal Mart in Anchorage picking up some soluble fiber and Viagra.
Anyone see Clinton do the briefing, last morning, and just totally take shit over? Obama had to leave for a "Christmas Party", and Clinton went up in that bitch and took over. Before Obama left he let everyone know that Gibbs would get the last question, but Clinton went on for an hour or so. They practically had to physically pry him from the room.
Barry had to get a handle on Michelle and make sure she kept her legs closed. Can't be too careful with Slick Willie in the House.
I hope that Mike enters the race early, so we can have the laughs, and paves the way for a more serious primary challenger, like Dennis Kucinich's hot wife.
I can't believe I just wasted fifteen minutes on this jaggoff's wet dream.
Bill Clinton: It sucks not being preznet anymore. Did I really just say that? Monica!!!!
mike gravel is going to put the WHOLE SYSTEM ON TRIAL, baby!
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