The Senate Fourgot.

  • Senate Republicans crashed their filibuster airplanes into legislation that would “monitor and treat first responders and emergency workers who suffered illnesses related to 9/11,” causing the bill to collapse into its own footprint, never forget. So next time you see a firetruck with a Made in China American flag waving so proudly with 9/11 remembrance, can you please inform the firemen that their government hates the living shit out of them? And next time you hear Janet Napolitano moan “United We Stand” on the Walmart teevee, can you maybe throw that teevee out the window (ha ha, there are no windows in Walmart, because it is a Diabetes Prison)? Hooray for phony patriotism, and endless war. [CNN/The Hill]
  • The FBI is begging the National Academy of Sciences to “delay” the release of a “review of the bureau’s highly controversial, seven-year investigation into the deadly 2001 anthrax mail attacks.” And by “delay” they obviously mean “significantly alter the review’s findings, because they are embarrassing.” [McClatchy]
  • Worldwide Corruption has increased over the last three years. A quarter of the people surveyed by Berlin-based Transparency International admitted “paying a bribe to an institution or for services from health to education to tax authorities in the last year.” [Bloomberg]
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  • Badonkadonkette

    Caveat rescuer.

    • charlesdegoal

      Caveats after the fact are a bit lame.

  • The rich people who employ the flying monkeys aka GOPers appreciate the hard work and sacrifices made by people in public service, especially when they do their bidding (cough, Iraq, cough) but draw a line in the asbestos when it comes to paying for the injuries suffered in the line of duty so… thanks and now get the fuck out of here.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      In other words, UNITED WE can't STAND you whiney fucks.

      • BeWoot


    • V572625694

      Just like all those whiny veterans and their PTSD. Just get over to the VA: here kid, fill out these papers, and we'll take care of you in a few years.

    • HistoriCat

      If all of those first responders and veterans had the decency to die instead of hanging around and expecting someone to care this wouldn't be a problem.

    • GOPCrusher

      Well, in all fairness, these first responders, firemen, policemen usually belong to those Communist unions. And they provide a Socialist service.

    • Negropolis

      The rich people who employ the flying monkeys aka GOPers

      This is probably the most apt description I've seen of the right, to date. Flying monkeys, indeed.

  • freakishlywrong

    Today, we are not all proud to be 'Muricans.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The NAS guys better do as the FBI guys ask. Otherwise they will be framed, accused, and arrested for having terrorist paraphernilia (i.e. Bunsen burners, titration pipettes, etc).

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    A. FOX is pushing the meme that 9/11 was Obama's (when the fuck is spell-check gonna not tell me Obama is Alabama) fault and W had to save us, so this is, well, logical.

    B. Alex Jones is masturbating to that McClatchy article.

    C. Statistically speaking, the Committee on Worldwide Corruption is also corrupt.

    whew…spent. Need a smoke.

  • slappypaddy

    i keep bribing the american government for competent services and fucking fat lot of good it does me. i would stop if they weren't holding a gun to my head.

  • Mindblank

    Ok, how about health care for *wealthy* firefighters? Compromise, dammit!

    • HedonismBot

      Republicans fight "health care" with every cancerous bone in their bodies. But "wealth care" is something they and the president can rally behind. Yes we can!

    • jim89048

      Most of the firefighters I know, or more accurately, retired firefighters, are doing fabulously well. Those that aren't were stupid when hiring their sub-par divorce lawyers.

  • vulpes82

    Even my local news last night was all "Republicans were dicks today and blocked a 9/11 health bill." And the reason is something about "well, we can't be sure only actual 9/11 responders would get money." WHAT?!?

    • freakishlywrong

      Dicks TODAY? Republicans are always dicks. Assholish, selfish, twatish dicks. Every day.

  • the bureau’s highly controversial, seven-year investigation = the bureau's bumbling attempts to pin the blame for their criminal incompetence on a scientist who they hounded into suicide.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Scrambling to hide the fact that it was an inside job. Ooops! I guess that makes me a Truther.

      • lulzmonger

        Oh, that's just CRAZY TALK … the establishment right would never ever use a fringe dickhead to kill for them – just ask Dr. Tiller!

    • transfatz

      And Stephen Hatfill, the scientist they tried to, but couldn't. And what about Jewell, the security guard at the Atlanta bombing? They must use some kind of suspects "wheel of misfortune".

  • PsycWench

    Republicans are not putting their money where their mouths are? (save that spent on Well, surprise, surprise.

  • Crank_Tango

    Dear 9/11ers,
    9/11 was a long time ago, and we were a different people then. Remember how everyone had those stupid flags on their car for weeks afterward, until the flags were tattered little faded ribbons? You guys are kinda like those flags.
    It's not you–It's us!
    US America

    • AntonovBureau

      It's also a damn shape the backs of those flag lapel pins fall off so easily.

  • Coming to the aid of people in need without getting paid up front is socialism. Much better to put the money into the DHS so they can monitor these whiny fucks.

    • JustPixelz

      Exactly! Government run fire department is socialism. Same for police, military, schools. We should create a real "Alaska Wildlife Refuge" where there are NO LAWS WHATSOVER. The TP'ers and similar ideologues can move there and live without any gov't interference. It will be a regulation free paradise, a shining Liberty City on a hill.

  • arihaya

    they should allocated it in DEFENSE budget, because we all know Repugs will never ever dare to cut a defense budget !'

    and also,, tell the Repugs that giving aids to 9/11 first responders will somehow reduce the Tax for the Richs

    • V572625694

      Unless said Defense budget repeals DADT. Because having gays serve openly in the military is WORSE than leaving our country defenseless against its many, many enemies.

    • um see DADT

  • Interesting that the countries with the least corruption (less than 5% of 'Murkins, Canadians and Europeans reported paying a bribe, while in several countries over 50% did) complain the loudest. Can this mean progress (someday, maybe)?

    • A society without corruption breeds whiny little punks while corrupt societies have people who just slip a couple of dinars into the discretely open palm of the cop/nurse/teacher/clerk and get on with their lives.

      Real men pay bribes.

    • arihaya

      in America bribe is called "Campaign donations"

  • Rethuglicans, and their fellow travelers like the FeeBees, have a long history of trying to strongarm NAS. I'm a guessin' that in the next Congress there will be many a wingnutted Ctte Chair who will skip NAS entirely since they're way too scientific to be trusted. The Chairs know what they want, so it would be silly to give work to folks who would just give the Chairs the facts. No siree Bob! Instead the incoming Rethug Chairs will give no-bid research contracts, say on things like global warming, to esteemed deliverers of the truth, say like the Right Reverend Able Huckster, Professor of Divine Comedy Intervention from the Weeping Jeebus College of Hallelujah in Ave Maria, Florida.

    • V572625694

      Don't mock my daughter's alma mater! They promised to keep her a virgin all the way through graduate school!

      Plus: all the pizza you can eat.

      • PsycWench

        Makes sense. Enough pizza and you're kinda stuck with the virginity.

        • V572625694

          Mmm…cheese-stuffed-crust deep-dish meat-lovers’ circle of death. Extra pineapple, please!

      • horsedreamer_1

        Domino's sucks. Not that I didn't order a shit-tonne of it at college.

        Of course, my college was a campus of (at the time) 750 in a town of 7000. Domino's was the only real pizza game in town. There was a Pizza Hut, but that's even worse. & the local establishment ("The Roadhouse") took forever to deliver the pies. (Delivery drivers were especially high, as well the rest of the staff.)

        • SorosBot

          Pizza Hut's not good, but compared to Domino's melted-plastic-on-cardboard it's the food of the gods.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Maybe I have been having too much Airport Pizza Hut "personal"/miniature pies, but they are horrible.

          • I have accepted Papa Murphy as my Personal Savior.

          • horsedreamer_1

            In that case, just make your own pie.

            Or buy Boboli.

          • Swampgas_Man

            Smirking because my local dive a block from my house makes the best pizza in town.

    • HistoriCat

      I'm going to set up the Academy for Scientific Truth and we will be a lot more accommodating to Congress than those poopy-heads at the NAS. For reasonable fees of course.

  • charlesdegoal

    Does this mean that Rudy Giuliani cannot claim compensation for physical and moral suffering? Ungrateful bastards.

    • 738838

      Don't worry about Rudy. He'll find a way to cash in.

    • arihaya

      actually Rudy should get a compensation, as Joe Biden said, Rudy is so saddened by the attack, that all he can say in a sentence is a noun, a verb, and 9/11

      • transfatz

        Oh no, Post Traumatic Sentence Syndrome.

  • facehead

    Listen up 9/11 rescue-tards,

    You did the right Jeebus thing to do in rescue-rangering all them aborted fetus from the sin-towers or what have you, but now you gotta follow through and just die, just like jeebus did, for your sins.

    • Cat_Damon

      I'm assuming the twin towers paid their local taxes/dues/whatever the fuck, otherwise I am sure Bryan Fischer will come out with a column about it…

  • CrunchyKnee

    Crying eagles aren't enough? Never forget, hell.

  • The Retardlicans have sprayed agent orange on the first responders, just like they did the Vietnam vets. How are they able to keep doing this yet hold the love of so many cops, firefighters, and troopies? I haz a sad.

    • Because of our stupid retarded psychotic ape psychology. Many people will hate the hand that helps, but loves the hand that slaps.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Also: racism.

        It's white cops & white military that overwhelmingly vote Conservative.

        • You'd think anyone who belongs to a union, for pete's sake, would have a healthy skepticism about the Republican's concern in their general welfare.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's like Battered Women Syndrome, but for penis-people rather than vagina-people.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    If the Republicans banned puppies & kicked kids out of orphanages, Democrats would still be completely unable to take any political advantage of it. They are incapable of going on camera & saying the Republicans are bad because of fill-in-the-blank & making that the cable news talking point of the day. The Rs stick together no matter what while the Dems fight amongst themselves & end up looking like incompetent boobs (which they are). I will always be a Dem but I sure wish they'd grow a pair.

    • Big thumbs up, way up.

    • V572625694

      But you can't have the intellectual free-dumb without the spats, or so it seems.

    • To his credit, the prez loudly and publicly called them "hostage takers." This needs to be repeated, 'til it sticks.

      • GOPCrusher

        By now, the Republiklans have spun this to mean that Obama supports the terrorists.

      • Negropolis

        He called them hostage takers, and then the right went into a tizzy, and the media courtiers decried the lack of civility in using such a term to describe political opposition…and he hasn't used it sense. You get credit for defending your stances.

  • revmod

    If Obama can't call out the Republicans for being dicks when they're blocking health care to first responders, no wonder he doesn't have the stomach to do it over the Unemployment Insurance extension. Really, that's all I'm asking of him – just once, go on TV to say "the Republicans are being dicks."

    • BerkeleyBear

      He did (well, hostage takers) – and all Dems heard was "he wants us to compromise" and all the GOP heard was "he's a whiny arrogant asshole for not giving us everything we want." Fucking little whiny assholes, every one of them.

  • Oblios_Cap

    9/11 changed everything! I've certainly noticed that the country went to hell in a handbasket in the years that followed.

    But some things didn't change at all. The GOP are still world-class dicks and the FBI is still specializes in screwing up and then engaging in damage control; i.e. cover-ups .

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The terrorists Republicans won.

      • I don't see why you bothered with the strike through there.

  • charlesdegoal

    There will now probably be a seven-year investigation of the FBI's request to delay the findings of the NSA review of its seven-year Amerithrax (I kid you not) investigation. In the long run we will all be dead.

    • In the long run we will all be dead.

      Hah, Easy for you to say, sitting there in Lombardy on your smug French ass nibbling fresh croissants and sipping Beaujolais from the navel of a flexible Parisian coed.

      • charlesdegoal

        Dream on. A foot of snow in Paris. The elevator is on the fritz. Parisian coeds only look at my son. Poor me a drink.

  • SorosBot

    The FBI, in their totally competent and not at all completely fucked up investigation into the anthrax mailer, discovered that it was a scientist who had conveniently just killed himself, and considering how trustworthy they have always been we should just take their word at it instead of doing this pointless little investigation over it. I mean, it's not like a foreign country was wrongfully blamed for the anthrax mailings as part of trying to sell the American public on invading it to deal with the President's daddy issues, implying that there may have been pressure not to actually solve the case, or anything.

    • charlesdegoal

      "Amerithrax, Amerithrax, God shed His grace on thee"

  • Golfing_OJ

    "Heartbreaking news today, as world renowned saint Mother Teresa, who is suffering from leprosy, was denied entry into a Texas hospital when Republican fuckhead cunt assholes noticed she didn't have coverage. And fuck Ayn Rand also, already."

  • the_onceler

    Those Manhattan liberals will never understand how we in the heartland suffered on 9/11!

  • Terry

    There you go. The party that claims it stands for fiscal responsibility and patriotism has in one week pushed for tax cuts for the super rich and blocked health care for first responders.

    Heck of a job, GOP.

    • HistoriCat

      It's obviously the Democratic party's fault. If they would just try to be nice to the GOP for a change …

    • Respitetini

      And they won on both, without any real fight from the Democrats.

      Why are we supposed to vote Democrat, again?

  • PublicLuxury

    GOP thought process: Them whiny little ballerinas firemen ran INTO the burnin' buildin's. Them ran TOWARD the buildin's there that collapse. Them are deservein' to die. Everbody knows it is ever man for hisself. Them whiners decided them want to be heroes or somethin' equally stoopid. If they wantin' to act all Barney Big Nuts then them can open their wallets and pay for their own damn doctor bill. Git off'a my dime buddy. I dint tell ya to go in the fire dumbass.

    • V572625694

      Or to go fight in Iraqistan.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Republicans complained

    No further questions, your honor.

  • V572625694

    So FBI is calling their investigation "Amerithrax." This is right up there with "pudding-cup beard" in the competition for Ugliest Neologism of 2010.

  • ingloriousbytch

    Can the Moslins build their mosque on Ground Zero now that we don't care about 9/11 anymore?

    • the_onceler

      it's hallowed ground. in fact, it's so hallowed that i don't understand why 9/11 rescue workers are even complaining about health problems.

      • Negropolis

        They should totally just lay down and die in the site. Sacrifice and all that shit. That's what REAL Americans would do.

  • horsedreamer_1

    There are also not any levels beyond ground-floor at Wal-Mart. (Scooters cannot fit on escalators.)

    & chucking a television out a window on the same level as the landing area — lame. Need more arc.

    • transfatz

      Best TV chuck: SCTV.

  • ttommyunger

    This is Republican Math at it's most shameful: $700 Billion of unfunded tax cuts for people with lots more money than they need is a fucking hard core necessity for America; $7 Billion for healthcare for our true (not Rudy or Dubya) 9-11 heroes, nope, can't afford it, might be abused, etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad absurdum… 9-11 really did change everything: Republicans became even more dickish than anyone could have ever imagined.

    • GOPCrusher

      And America lets them get away with it. * sigh *

      • ttommyunger

        Who cares, it's not the rich or the Corporatocracy.

    • Respitetini

      Could you imagine if this math got on the evening news? If the Democrats, from Podunk, IA's Dogcatcher to Nancy Pelosi (PBUH) Herself repeated this mantra every time they got in front of a microphone to talk about anything?

      Nah, me either. That'd require a spine.

      • ttommyunger

        Sadly, true.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    That fabulous Republican moral compass seems to be broken… again.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Did it ever work in the first place? Like, at all?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        It's like that compass Captain Jack Sparrow had, that points in the direction of that which you most desire.

        • elviouslyqueer

          SOW, Jack's oft-repeated quote "Take what you can, give nothing back" totally works when talking of Rethuglicans.

    • PublicLuxury

      It;s not nice to point out their erectile dysfunction.

    • SorosBot

      It's actually just a broken watch that they claim is the moral compass that never existed in the first place.

  • SorosBot

    Those firefighters don't deserve the help; the World Trade Center hadn't paid its $75 fee so they should have just stood around and watched it burn.

    • GodShammgod

      Well played.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    What if we just tried to pass a bill giving health care to just the top 2% of 9/11 responder earners? Do you think they would get behind that?

  • hagajim

    I saw the following in one of the comments "Republicans were dicks today" Aren't Republicans dicks all day, every day?

  • Ducksworthy

    Hooray for phony patriotism, and endless war.

    And as they say at the unemployment office when you tell them you're a veteran, Thank You For Your Service, Riley.

  • mavenmaven

    Because health support for true heroes is not the Merkun way, it doesn't create more jobs like tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy does in mythical Republican land; the victims of 9/11 should have relied on the Invisible Hand to save them.
    Besides, the 9/11 heroes don't contribute to election campaigns.

  • GodShammgod

    The only firefighters Republicans fund are male strippers dressed as firefighters.

    • horsedreamer_1



  • AntonovBureau

    The FBI delay into Anthrax is most likely due to the discovery that the return address on all of them was the Naval Observatory. That and an extrodinarily large amount of option betting in duct tape companies placed from the same address.

  • natoslug

    Don't these 9/11 responders have some bootstraps they can pull themselves up by? That's what Real Americans do when they're sick — yank on some bootstraps. It's in both the bible and the constitution, page one.

  • JustPixelz

    Stop yer bellyachin'. My health insurance totally covers breathing dust, asbestos and mercury vapor from a collapsing building that I ran toward. Unless it's a pre-existing condition.

  • HateMachine

    "Worldwide corruption has increased over the last three years."

    This, my friends, is conclusive proof that Obama is morally weak.

  • To be fair to the Republicans, the bill for first responders called for $7.4 billion in aid and they were concerned about where all that money was going to come from, what with the hundreds of billions of dollars in tax cuts they had just extorted from the depleted Treasury the day before. Plus they just said last week that they would work on no other Senate business until the tax cuts deal was finished up, yet the Dems still tried to bring this bill up for a vote. Geez Dems, which part of "we will work on nothing but tax cuts until that issue is resolved" do you not understand? Those first responders will still have asbestos in their lungs next week, right? At least those that aren't dead?

  • lulzmonger

    The eagle isn't crying any more.

    Imagine what it must feel like right now to be the mail-screener for the NAS.

    Also, everyone agrees that Amerithrax is much better than the second-rate knockoff, Eurothrax – but they're both going to look mighty lame when Japan opens Osakathrax in 2011.

  • transfatz

    OK, so next time you should wait until the scene is safe, 2-4 months, until first responding. The fires will be out and the EPA report finalized. Fuck you, Republican fuckers. You get the first response you deserve.

  • transfatz

    I've had a bad week what with the Obama Republican "Caucus" and now I'm going to make it worse by posting a rant after a rant. I am a former EMT and I have personal experience with The NY police and fire dept. They saved my mother's life in 1996. I called them from the west because she had missed a call in. She was on her apartment floor dying of thirst. They held me on the phone and in three minutes they were breaking in. They went right in. That's why so many of them died in 9/11. They went right in. Scenes are inherently unsafe, that is their nature. Still you go right in, hoping you can save even one life, temporarily disregarding the danger, thinking only of others. YOU EXPECT THE SUPPORT OF YOUR GOVERNMENT. Fuckers!

    • dyedwool

      I'll be the first responder to this post (without fear). I hate Republicans. That is all.

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