Governor-for-now Charlie Crist has basically just been sitting around wondering what he can still do with his Executive Power in Florida, now that his career in politics is probably over forever because he’s not CRAZY enough to be a Republican, especially in Florida. (Jeb Bush wouldn’t last 10 minutes in today’s Florida, either.) So anyway, Charlie was just hanging out in his bachelor pad, sipping daiquiris and screwing around on the Internet with his iPod on shuffle, and all the sudden The Doors came on, some weird song or another. Ensenada! The dog crucifix!, whatever. And Charlie got to thinking, “Hell man poor old Jim Morrison sure got a raw deal with some right-wing uptight Florida court back when I was a kid just smokin’ dope and doing fraternity sex rituals. Isn’t he from Florida, too? Just imagine if he was still around FLA today, that would be the shit.”
This stuck with Charlie for a while. One day he was driving around Palm Beach thinking, “Imagine if the caliber of celebrity in Florida was a little better than goddamned Burt Reynolds or Rush Limbaugh. Imagine if we had THE LIZARD KING, maybe with a themed bar on Key West, some kind of licensing deal with the University of Florida.”
Then Charlie stopped for a drink at this little place he likes, just a place to hang with some other dudes, and after an hour or so he just felt so AWAKE and put the satellite radio on that “Deep Tracks” channel and the top was down and man sometimes you just got to drive ninety miles an hour with a piña colada in a go cup between your legs, with “Roadhouse Blues” banging out the speakers.
So he got dead old Jim Morrison pardoned — officially, today! — for the long-ago pretend crime of cops thinking Jim Morrison was rubbing his dick on stage, which is uncool, as every straight god-fearing commie-hating man in Florida knows the only time it’s cool to stick your hand down your pants is every day, on the couch, while watching football games.
Jim Morrison was born 67 years ago yesterday, The End. [CNN/Miami Herald]
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Jim Morrison was the Lizard King. He could do anything.
Finally!!!!! Now he can come out of hiding and tour with Elvis. The "Kings" tour 2011.
no one here gets out unpardoned.
All I know is Meg Ryan's tits in the movie made my year.
No shit! Weren't they pretty?
I guess I was too baked. Pics or GTFO!
Ask and you shall receive. http://www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/movie.p...
It's like a christmas miracle!
Hell with Meg's tits, it's the BUSHMILL'S I want.
Well, that and Kathleen Quinlan's tits.
Please.
Mmm, Bush and Bushmills, is there anything finer?
I really don't want to be fapping at work. Oh hell I am going to look.
It upped my enjoyment factor for the movie by 100 fold.
Charlie Crist–Mr. Shit Car Relic… ♫ Mister Shit Car Rel-ic ♫ Shit Car Relll-ic ♫ Arctic Relish ♫ Shitcar Reluhl-ic ! ♫
Barack Obama: Mr. Comp-ro-mi-sin'. Misin' misin'.
No comment except that "Touch Me" is probably my favorite Doors song, oddly enough.
Funny personal anecdote regarding that song: When I was a little kid and never heard of the doors, I just assumed that was Elvis Presley singing it. Or RB Greaves.
Even way back then, I was a little hard of hearing.
Certainly in the top 10 TSA agent songs.
And wouldn't the molestation be that much better if the TSA had some sort of soundtrack.
Old hippies everywhere rejoice! Then ask, Who the hell is Charlie Crist?
Me – I like The Crystal Ship best.
That's a good one, although I slightly prefer "Soul Kitchen" and "L.A. Woman" if only b/c they're longer.
As a teenager with a room next to my Jim-Morrison-loving brother, I was once drifting off to sleep, vaguely aware of the recording of Jim Morrison's poetry playing the next room. I was startled out of sleep when I heard the rumbling voice say "…her cunt gripped him like a warm friendly hand".
Ride The Snake.
Still overrated. Stay dead, Jim. Densmore's mod orange Ludwigs were the bomb, however.
Yeah, had one these little twerps tell me that the Beatles were overrated. His children are still being born cross-eyed.
I hear ya. Dennis Leary said it best in summing up Morrison's life:
"I'm drunk, I'm nobody. I'm drunk, I'm famous. I'm drunk, I'm dead."
I am not among those who think that being a drunken idiot and treating everybody who loved him like shit made Jim Morrison some sort of Nietzchean ubermensch.
But some of the music was pretty damn good.
Charlie Crist is a known Jim Morrison fan, and indeed took his songs as life lessons. He broke on through to the other side (of politics), and found that it was The End of his political career.
Thank gawd that's out of the way. I'm sure all the live people on the row in Florida are breathing a sigh of relief, knowing they'll go to the chair but the Lizard King is now a free zombie.
I was at the Bowl concert in '68, one of my most memorable shows ever!
Your move, Mike Huckabee.
Mike Huckabee wants you to know that he has pardoned Leif Garrett.
He is haning out listening to the latest from Toby Keith, which seems to the Arkansas anthem . +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvyTY_oYR_c
It's inexplicable why Crist suddenly decided to make this pardon one of his last acts as Governor; but then, people are strange, when you're a stranger, faces seem ugly when you're alone, women seem wicked, when you're unwanted, streets are uneven when you're down.
Simpler explanation: Young Charlie Crist was at the concert, down front, and he really, really enjoyed getting a good look at Jim's dick.
When all else fails, we can whip the horses' eyes, and make them sleep, and cry.
Quote unquote.
Maybe he will take a Moonlight Ride
Yes Charlie, women are indeed wicked.
How can Jim Morrison be granted a pardon? He's not even buried in American soil and that's plain un-American of him. Does Crist know this?
When Ed Sullivan said he'd never have the Doors on again, Jim said "We just did Ed Sullivan." Guess what, Charlie, Jim did Florida. Although I guess Charlie now is safe to come out of the closet and say he likes those hippy fucks. Wonder if he'll be coming out of any other closets.
Wrong about that UF licensing fantasy .. Chain Gang Charlie is FSU all the way.
Otherwise, not bad.
Now how did Gram Parsons feel about snakes in Winter Haven?
FSU doesn't have a reptile for a mascot, so you can't really go "lizard king" unless you want to INSULT the Seminole Nation/Bingo tribe.
Lizard King playing Seminole bingo — sounds more Zevonish.
The Doors are going to release 67 new greatest hits collections in honor of this momentous occasion.
Charlie Crist feels a special affinity for guys with beards.
Or gals that are beards.
So I'm guessing Charlie once blew a guy at the Zeta Epsilon smoker and then when he became governor was reminded of a promise he made that night. "Sure, in return for you not saying anything about this, if I become governor of Florida I'll pardon Morrison." Which he had completely forgotten about until the afternoon of the inaugural when Governor Crist got that fateful phone call.
Maybe, perhaps, possibly, Mr. Crist could use this mythical "pardon power" to help out real, living, ordinary people who get caught up in a putative and unjust system?
So could Mr. Obama maybe.
no, no no. everyone in prison deserves to be there. everyone knows that. i don't care if all you did was miss your p.o. meeting bcz your car broke down on the whatsit. back in the pokie for you mister!
Obama just did a couple weeks ago. His pardons were mainly obscure people who got hosed, like a guy who couldn't get a gun permit in 2005 because of some obscure conviction dating back to the 1960s he didn't even know he had since he did no time.
That's probably why it got less news coverage – no big donors or random celebrities (and not even a second super-pardon for Bill Ayers).
That's my whole point BerkeleyBear: Pardoning a guy who was convicted of mutilating coins in the 1950s (yes, really) may be persona vindication for that guy but it does nothing for someone set up by the DEA and doing life in 2010. It's symbolism and sham-compassion at its very best and is another reason why Obama has turned out to be such a fucking disappointment.
I'm shocked the NRA didn't immediately change their stance on Obama.
You're right. Christ should have pardoned Genarlow Wilson back in '97 when Wilson was sent to the penitentiary for getting a blow job from a fellow high school student/hot white slut. You'd think Crist in particular would understand how a black man cannot be held responsible for a white person's urges to suck on his BBC. But Crist stood on the sidelines while this legal nightmare unfolded. If the state supreme court didn't save his ass on appeal, Wilson would still be rotting in prison today.
Maybe Charlie could also broker a peace between 2 Pak and Biggie.
Too soon!
maybe outgoing MN gov Tim Pawlenty could posthumously pardon me for stealing that fig newton when i was 19.
I'm trying to get Chet Culver to expunge that gum chewing incident from my permanent record that occurred in 65.
also, my h.s. band teacher allegedly played w/ a band that opened for teh doors once, supposedly, and he once had us play "touch me", as a marching band, on the 4th of july, right after we had played 'amerrricuh teh bootiful'. true story!
This is preposterous! Everyone knows that on-stage dick rubbing unravels Murika's tapestry of freedom.
I'm pretty sure, if he had his druthers, Jim Morrison would not want to be pardoned by Charlie Crist.
Not one of Jim's bigger concerns, at the moment.
Oedipenis Complex
(re)Electra Complex.
I've always wondered about "Tell All The People" (it's the one that has the chorus "Tell all the people that you see, follow me, come and follow me down), because it seems to be a perfect parody of the 60s Boomer crap, yet it sounds completely serious and un-ironic. Yet the lyrics are so self-indulgent it doesn't seem like there's any way it could not be a joke.
Anyway, I'm still not sure if the song was a joke or not, but it's still a good song either way; and can anyone who was alive back then elaborate?
The Soft Parade was when Jim went all nightclub singer on the 60s. I loved it! The big band, Touch me, and that jive Soft Parade thing on the end.
You had to be there, dood. Heard it first (before the record!) at Chicago Stadium, 1960-something. He had the magic. A little short on self-discipline, perhaps…
I wasn't around either, but based on Olly Stone's portrayal Morrison didn't really do funny or ironic.
Then again, Olly Stone isn't exactly known for taking things lightly or getting the joke, either.
I believe that somebody else in the band wrote Tell All the People and not Jim. Jim hated the song so much that he insisted that the band get separate writing credits, so that nobody would think he wrote it.
In a related story, Ray Manzarek received a 20% discount at Costco.
At first glance I thought that was Charles Manson.
Now there's a brain that squirms like toad.
Jim Morrison was also not much into statistics. Five to one, one in five, it's all the same — who gives a crap.
supposedly those were two diffferent stats, the five to one and one in five. Not sure they measured how many people give a crap tho.
"Out here we is stoned – immaculate."
Listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout the heartache
I'll tell you 'bout the heartache and the loss of God
I'll tell you 'bout the hopeless night
The meager food for souls forgot
I'll tell you 'bout the maiden with raw iron soul
I'll tell you this
No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
I'll tell you 'bout Texas Radio and the Big Beat
Soft drivin', slow and mad, like some new language"
…"Texas Radio and the Big Beat", The Doors
Well, this settles it, Charlie Christ is one wild and craaaaazy guy!
Next he can pardon Elton John for playing at closet homosexual Rush Limbaugh's image enhancing farce of a wedding.
Some things are beyond clemency.
This buys Crist instant credibility with loser guys who tie a red bandana around one thigh, get drunk, and yell "Morrison!!!" while staggering around parties.
Jim wasn't content in producing a film with a huge carbon footprint, he had to throw his garbage out the window too. I hope he spends his time cleaning up all the trash in heaven. No wonder that Indian cried.
"You know that what they said wasn't true. You know the cops who did were liars.
Try now, you've already lost, and your career's been set on fire.
C'mon Charlie, right my prior.
C'mon Charlie, right my prior.
After I've been dead a whi-le, yeah yeah."
Now that I see him again, Jim looks a little like Zach Galifianakis with a beard. Or even Seth Rogan, in the eyes.
However, at a press seance after the announcement of the pardon, Jim Morrison's ghost suggested the governor take the pardon and stick it up his ass just as far as it would go.
Laugh all you want – this wil probably be the most sensible piece of legislation passed in Florida over the next 4 years.
"Father?" "Yes son?" "I want to kill you. Governor? I want to…."
Morrison went to Florida State and his dorm mate eventually became the judge in the Terry Schiavo case. (People are) Strange but true.
Well, I woke up this morning and FUCK! No beer!
In celebration, I hereby declare today "Touch Your Junk in Public" Day.
Man, Jim sounds really wasted in this version.
Oh, great. Now every hairy old guy in Florida will want to rub his dick in public.
He trying to one-up Huckabee for pardoning The Stone's stoner?
You can NOT petition the Lord with prayer! But sometimes a lame-(ass/duck) guv will grant you a pointless pardon after you're safely dead and rotted.
I think he pardoned MacReady from The Thing.
My favorite Doors song: (TIE) Peace Frog and The End (probably due to Apocalypse Now).
Hubby was an extra in The Doors movie and now it is in BlueRay you can finally see him (one of the cops at the outdoor concert). The word was that Val Kilmer was a self-indugent jerk.If you listen to the commentary of the film Stone totally regretted casting Meg Ryan, who was far too prissy to be a chick of the flower power age. I think it would be cool to be buried in Poet's Corner in Paris.
Republicans really want to feel that they are one of the cool kids by using songs of rock musicians for their campaigns or shows — even though those musicians think these republicans are total disgusting tools. Rush used Chrissy Hynde's music for his show even though she was a liberal, single mom who was on campus when the Kent State shootings happened. Now they are using their pardon powers not to free that poor slob who is poor, black, lacks legal counsel, and is at the wrong place at the wrong time but a dead or nearly dead rock star, who obviously don't give a flying fig about it.
We have been pushed into a strange wormhole.
the prettiest picture is the one w/ meg plus bushmills. mmm. like leavin' las vegas all over again.
Jesus Christ we are all alcoholics, every person here noted the Bushmills first, how did this come to pass?
Just add Bushmill's to the list of things I would lick off of those tits.
an Islay single malt
Had kids.
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