Kemba Walker?So the Senate faced the cloture vote on the defense authorization bill including a repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, but it failed by a vote of 57-40, because majority rule is the hallmark of a democracy. Susan Collins ended up voting with the Democrats, and Joe Manchin voted against it, because he has a punch card that will give him a free sub from West Virginia voters every time he votes against his party. A scene from the future war movie about this worthless policy: “Right now Joe Lieberman has buttonholed Lisa Murkowski on the floor, clearly trying to get her to switch her vote.” Give Lieberman credit. He’s sweated off at least a couple of jowls in the past few days.

If you are keeping score at home, Lisa Murkowski, Scott Brown and Richard Lugar are supposed to be in favor of the repeal, but they will never vote for cloture, because that is the first rule of being a Republican or something. Or maybe they just wanted to say they were in favor of it because they knew it would never actually come to a vote because their party would drag their feet on it forever.

It’s hard to explain to someone used to the world operating on reason and logic why you would vote against allowing yourself to vote for something you want to vote for. The gays, they’re pretty used to a world like that, right? It’s all good.

Let’s all get together and have a filibuster pride parade! [Firedoglake]

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  • GunTotingProgressive

    Fuck these assholes. Our country is broken.

    • PuckStopsHere

      I'm sorry. I'm sure you meant to say, "Fuck these fucking assholes." There. All better now.

      • GunTotingProgressive


  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    Three cheers for democracy!

    • Three cheers for Oligarchy!!!!

    • DeeJayKitteh

      I'm sorry, we would love to but there isn't a quorum of commenters present, so there can't be a vote on your motion for three cheers. But perhaps if you can get 3 people with the first name of Sam to make a motion to forward your motion to the next session — assuming of course you get 5 people, none of whom live in the same state or own cats, to second your motion — we may be able to take it up at a later date. Because that's how the founders would have wanted it.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Okay, it has to be said… This is good news for John McCain.

    • GuyClinch

      I'll never understand why Mark Buse, McCain's openly gay Chief of Staff, doesn't quit in protest. Or at least bitchslap McCain into next week. Or piss in his coffee. Or many other things he could do.

      • GeoffPeterson

        hey, maybe he has done the third thing you mentioned.

        • OneDollarJuana

          More cream in your coffee, sir?

        • HistoriCat

          He gets paid extra for that.

    • PuckStopsHere

      This has to be said, too: FUCK JOHN MCCAIN.

      • His face would be like fucking a zippered leather bag.

  • EdFlintstone

    Yes, those three republicans would love to repeal DADT but they just can't vote for cloture, important issues take time to discuss, unlike the Iraq War authorization vote.

    • HedonismBot

      Yeah. But we are only about three or four or five in-depth troop morale studies and blue ribbon commissions away from solving this problem once and for all. If we have a few more task forces and bureaucratic research-a-thons, we could solve every problem in the world!
      Simpson/Bowles 2012!!!

    • V572625694

      Or the USA PATRIOT Act.

    • bitchincamaro2

      One gazillion pee points, Ed.

  • Goodnight_Loon

    Want to reduce our spending? Shut down the power at the Capitol. They're doing fuck all, anyway.

  • Lucidamente1

    At least these jerkoffs won't have to worry:

    • elviouslyqueer

      I listened to that this morning. It was nice to hear actual armed services folks saying that this isn't a morals thing, it's a civil rights thing.

    • V572625694

      Wasn't that disgusting? I heard it too. Because military chaplains shouldn't have to give up their 1st Amendment rights when the join the military, unlike everybody else who goes in the military.

      Let's face it: if you're a Christian, holyman or not, you've got to make some compromises with your faith to join the military.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Well, unless you're talking about godless sodomites who are going to BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL FOREVER. Then the whole "compassionate Christian counseling" chaplaincy thing gets tossed.

      • For example, that "thou shalt not kill" thing would not work very well when your training and indoctrination is to kill.

  • natoslug

    Did Lieberman really think giving Lisa anal on the floor would sway her vote? Or is buttonholing not the straight version of cornholing? You kids with all your new catchphrases and cool new words just confuse me.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      I just assume Mumbly Joe was showing her that a little good anal never gets in the way of anything.

    • Not_So_Much

      Believe Droopy is strictly a bottom. He developed that marble-mouthed speaking style from constantly having his face pushed into the mattress by McCain (but not because that's gay! It's just a 'guy thing' for naval aviators that have crashed a shitload of planes).

      • bitchincamaro2

        Colbert referred to JoEl as "the human puff-pastry" the other night. I spewed.

  • straighteight

    You may end up with a hole in your abdomen, sucking Afghan dirt into your lungs as you breathe your last breaths, but at least you will die knowing that the homosexuals in your unit will have to continue to lie about their identities for the sake of unit cohesion and Jesus.

    • bitchincamaro2

      And I thought unit cohesion had something to do with my cock sticking to my shorts after a rainstorm. This is far more serious.

    • When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
      And the women come out to cut up what remains,
      Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
      An' go to your Gawd without knowing whether anyone in your unit fantasized about you while masturbating.

  • CrunchyKnee

    "Give Lieberman credit. He’s sweated off at least a couple of jowls in the past few days."

    There's gotta be a BBQ PORK RESTAURANT IS SAFEST NO MUSLIMS INSIDE SEWER CAM REPAIR joke in their somewhere.

    • LionelHutzEsq

      If only there was something like that that worked with teh ghayez. Then we could repeal DADT and still keep them out. Such a shame that the uniforms are so stylish….

  • catchtheflava

    You guys are all missing the point. This is what it's all about:

    • Ducksworthy

      I know its the Onion but Louie Gohmert? That's too far fetched even for them. Oh that part's for real? We are truly fucked.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    So incredibly sad for people who would literally die for their country. Memo to Log Cabin Republicans: your party HATES you!

    • LionelHutzEsq


    • Jason_inthe_Peg

      Your memo makes them horny.

  • BeWoot

    Fix the Senate, somebody please, FIX THE FUCKING SENATE!

    • Negropolis

      For the love of the Baby Jeebus, won't anyone FIX THE FUCKING SENATE, already?! GULLDERNIT!

  • charlesdegoal

    They seem to have a DADT policy regarding party affiliation now.

  • chascates

    Joementum becomes Nomentum. Dream Act becomes a Nightmare.

    But Baby Jeebus birfday in a few weeks! That's CHRISTmas to real 'Muricans.

  • Crank_Tango

    57-40, that's a blowout, right?

    Wait, what?

    • CrunchyKnee

      Yeah, remember that time Army beat Notre Dame 57-40, but touchdown Jesus said the Domers won because Army didn't have a clear majority of points. I think it is a lot that. Or some shit.

    • V572625694

      The 60-vote cloture rule is in the Constitution, right?

      Really? It's a just a rule they wrote themselves?

      Well, okay it's got to be one of the great, long-standing traditions of the Senate, like addressing all your remarks to the President of the Senate instead of each other.

      What? The 60-vote rule was adopted in 1975?

      Well, at least they have to stand there and give speeches 24 hours a day for as long as the filibuster lasts.

      What? They just declare it a filibuster and don't have to give any speeches at all?

      Well, every state is represented equally in the Senate, so all Americans have a voice, right?

      What? A vote in Wyoming counts 50 times what a vote in California counts?

      Well then we're fucked and this isn't a democracy anymore.

      • Ezra Klein made the obvious point that the filibuster rule, instituted to protect the rights of the minority in theory, was today used to deny a minority its right.

        It's like raaaaa-in on your wedding day…

        • SorosBot

          Maybe in theory, but in the past the filibuster was mostly used to block civil rights laws, like FDR's anti-lynching law, so this is in keeping with its great tradition.

  • Cicada


    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Well said!

    • Sassomatic

      I wish Republican wingnuts were this articulate.

  • NuttGobbler

    Quelle fucking suprise.

    • NuttGobbler

      … Not to be confused with JoshuaNorton's "Quelle suprise" in the Luke Scott piece. God, I only post on this thing, like, once in my life, and I end up wearing the same damn dress as somebody who's been here much longer and is much prettier. Shit.

      • Crank_Tango

        Nuttgobblers never have to apologize for shit. just get that dress dirty like ya supposed ta.

      • V572625694

        And yet you already have 1 pee. Unlike the Senate, Wonkette is a meritocracy. Ken does have unchallenged veto ("banhammer") power though.

  • SorosBot

    Fuck the Senate. And Joe, this one decent act does not make up all the other horrible shit you've done.

    • Yeah, he's just doing it because his whiny girlfriend Lindsey is nagging him about it.

  • EdFlintstone

    I often wonder if I can have less respect for the Senate, and of course they never disappoint.

    Thank god a democrat won in WV, lot of good that will do the party.

  • slappypaddy

    incompetent central government is a prerequisite for bloody rebellion. the prerequisite has been met. all it will take is a sufficient shock, and the top is going to blow off this country. we'll see what happens to the global economy then, now won't we?

    • GunTotingProgressive

      Tree of liberty… Blood of fucktards?

  • If the DeRats ever, ever again get 60 solid Senate votes their first order of business should be to drag cloture, weeping and peeing in its pants, in front of the Senate dias and put a 45 ACP round right through it's head. Then charge the Rethuglicans a $1.45 for the cost of the round. The Senate is already way far away from one person one vote as it is. Two asshats per state already gives the small, predominately rural and red, states equal footing with there urban, and bluer, cousins. Cloture is not necessary to protect against the rule of the unwashed masses, even if many are teatards.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Technically according to the current rules they'd need 67 votes (2/3) to change the cloture rule or any other rule during the current Congress. Now, they could change the rules by simple majority at the start of the new Congress with Biden as President of the Senate approving the adoption of wholescale rule changes, including the number of votes needed to adopt rules (or so I've been told). But the Dems have shown no desire to do that for fear of never getting to use a 48 vote supermajority of their own to club down GOP legislation.

      Never mind that the only thing the GOP really gives two shits about other than the military boom boom complex – cutting taxes – is always subject to budget reconciliation and hence doesn't need 60 votes in the first place (hence the so-called temporary Bush cuts). Or that Dems can't find their spine with both hands when it comes to denying funding "for the troops" (ie Blackwater, Halliburton and many, many Congressional districts) so the GOP always gets what it wants there, too.

      • Thanks for the rulez correction Mr. Bear.

      • jim89048

        Since they were snuck in under reconciliation originally, doesn't it stand to reason that they'd also need to use reconciliation to extend these tax cuts? And hasn't the Senate already used their one precious budget reconciliation for this year?

    • bitchincamaro2

      Though I agree with you, why would you purposely summon Neilist here at this moment? You know he can smell a firearms related comment all the way back in his cave, right?

    • Neilist

      $1.45 for a round of .45 ACP?

      Gesh. Where do you buy your ammo? Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills?

  • America keeps hurting my head. And my heart.

    • On the plus side, my balls feel great.

      • LionelHutzEsq

        We didn't ask….

        • elviouslyqueer

          But we sure could tell.

        • Just trying to find a silver lining!

          • You have a heart and you live in America? See, there's your problem.

    • slappypaddy

      and itself.

    • bitchincamaro2

      Just another congressional holiday nightmare behind today's Advent calendar door. Only 18 +/- more to go.

  • Tommmcatt

    Yeah, I have some "credit" stored up for Joe Lieberman, in the form of an aqueous solution of greater than 95% water, with the remaining constituents, in order of decreasing concentration: urea 9.3 g/l, chloride 1.87 g/l, sodium 1.17 g/l, potassium 0.750 g/l, creatinine 0.670 g/l and other dissolved ions, inorganic and organic compounds. I will deliver it to his shoes and pants cuffs anytime he wants to come by and receive the "credit" he so richly deserves.

    This does improve my opinion of him slightly, however, inasmuch as my opinion of him is so low that almost anything would.

  • Tommmcatt

    Yeah, I have some "credit" stored up for Joe Lieberman, in the form of an aqueous solution of greater than 95% water, with the remaining constituents, in order of decreasing concentration: urea 9.3 g/l, chloride 1.87 g/l, sodium 1.17 g/l, potassium 0.750 g/l, creatinine 0.670 g/l and other dissolved ions, inorganic and organic compounds. I will deliver it to his shoes and pants cuffs anytime he wants to come by and receive the "credit" he so richly deserves.

  • BornInATrailer

    So first I'm supposed to like the House dems more than Obama and now I'm supposed to like Joe the most today? No. Wonkette, you ask too much.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Crazy times!

      • It is very easy to like the House Dems more than Barry (I wanna hav turtle sexy time with Mitch McConnell) Obama.

  • SayItWithWookies

    But Joe promised he had the votes. Oh well — on the bright side, there's $700 billion or so we're not gonna spend on the military this year.

    • Cicada

      Here's the head-fucking part: Joe did have the votes for repeal, but not cloture. Yep, some of the people who agreed to vote yes on repeal voted no on cloture.

      It's fucking broken.

      • This is great though!!! Kids – mommy and daddy decided today that each of you can have brand new iPhones!!!! But unfortunately, we also decided we're not going to actually order them for you.

        • LOL, I'll use that on my kids next time they hit me with the "Daddy, can I have a new iPod?"

          "Sure. No Prob."


          "Sure. Go get a job, earn some money and get as many iPods as you want. Knock yourself out."

      • SayItWithWookies

        If you don't have the votes to get you to the vote that you have the votes for, then you don't have the votes. It's like if your airplane can get over the second mountain you have to fly over, but not the first — it's not gonna do much good when they find you eating your soccer team a month later.

        • Cicada

          Oh, I agree. But Joe said he had the votes for repeal, not cloture. That was down to Reid with the whole Collins wrangling for time/amendments thing.

          I hate that I just defended Joe Lieberman, but there you go.

  • samsuncle

    The only thing that gets passed in congress is ……..gas.

    • I swear, some of things you hear there would also indicate that a lot them are passing a bong around, too.

  • MLite

    Does this mean they hate the troops? NAH, they're Republicans.

  • LionelHutzEsq

    Now, if only the Republicans would be true to their beliefs and introduce a bill banning outed blacks from the military.., and the presidency. That would show everyone that they cannot be pushed around.

  • I'm sure if this was about letting soldiers be gay with underage boys it would have sailed through – my understanding is that Republicans are just fine with that whole NAMBLA stuff….

  • user-of-owls

    Until Obama can bring Senate Republicans to his office, open a dictionary and point out in very clear and simple terms that despite what their party leaders tell them, "cloture" is not in fact a synonym for "Bible burning," we can expect more of the same.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Nothing takes the edge off a long day of filibustering like a smart cocktail and Gypsy on DVD.

    • Not Oklahoma or South Pacific?

    • johnnymeatworth

      LIfe is a cabaret!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh fer cryin out loud. Half these people are closeted gays anyway. Man-up or whatever. Gah!

  • wegot2dobetter

    I has a big anal sad. :-(

  • EdFlintstone

    This could be a opportunity for Obama to get some liberal cred back, just say screw you asshats, you want to stall, I'm repealing it by executive order, ala Truman. Boom done.

    • That would help on the capitulization front.

      • But it would hurt poor Barry's dedication to his pwecious, pwecious 'bipartisanship.'

  • OT
    In keeping with the joyous tone of today, the Westboro Baptist Church of the KKK has said they will be there in Carolina for Elizabeth Edwards' funeral. Jeebus weeps.

    • GOPCrusher

      If there is a God, I would hope that he would take this opportunity to come down and choke the living shit out of Fred Phelps.

    • Sparky_McGruff

      On that note, now you can join the Phelps gang in your kitchen!

    • V572625694

      Their exercise of their First Amendment rights arouses in me a great desire to apply a Second Amendment remedy. I haven't fired an M16 since 1973, but I'll bet I could take out one of these cocksuckers with fewer rounds than Alaskunt used to snuff that caribou. If not, I'd just bring five or six clips and put it on shake-n-bake.

      Neilist could probably kill these fuckers with just his thoughts, were he to focus them usefully.

      • V57 you're showing your oldz. The new gunz don't do the rock & roll no mo. Too sad, but iffn' you don't have Sherpas packing yer ammo…

        • V572625694

          Boy, you commit one little massacre at My Lai…

      • Neilist

        Tell you one thing: I'm not paying $1.45 a round for .45 ACP, even to snuff Fred Phelps and the rest of his Cocksucking Congregation.

        Not if someone will loan me a pickup truck and about 60 feet of logging chain.

        Oh, and if that Hair Ball husband of hers had One Ounce of Moral Integrity, he would go after Phelps and Company with a baseball bat if they show up.

        And no gentleman would lift a finger to stop him.

        Senator Big Hair Socialism might get arrested for assault and battery, or attempted murder. But Jesus would smile at his redemption, and Ms. Hunter's bastard child could feel a bit better about Daddy.

        • HistoriCat

          If the rounds are being delivered to Phelps and crew, I'm willing to be a sponsor. Let's see – I've got about about $30 here … that's good for 20 rounds. I would call that a good start.

  • vulpes82

    What's even worse than this I-almost-had-hope-this-might-get-done defeat is that I'm actually sort of relieved. At least we can stop pretending this might happen now. Here's hoping Barry finally just signs an EO or something.

  • Jerri

    What is wrong with these people, honestly? Besides being morally bankrupt cowards, that is. It's so sad. None of these all-stars better dare to get weepy and say word one about how much they support the troops ever again. But that's of course too much to ask.

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      Of course they support the troops. Just not the gay ones.

  • Cat_Damon

    Bizarro Redskins score.

  • Cicada

    According to the updates on the FDL link, Lieberman and Collins are working to get the repeal voted on as a stand-alone measure (which the nay-voters on the appropriations bill are amenable to). They're close to getting the votes needed for that.

    Oh, my aching head.

    • Cicada

      It looks like the stand alone is going forward, but can't be voted on until after the tax issue is resolved. So there's still time for the Republicans to draaaaaaaag this out, which was the point behind pushing for debate time in the first place.


  • Since when does this world operate on reason and logic?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Maybe THIS is the dick joke headline of the day and not that other thing….

  • lochnessmonster

    They need Rahm there to meet ppl in the showers and twist a few arms. Too bad he's freezing his ass in Chicago trying to be mayor.

    • Crank_Tango

      If he actually is in Chicago, that is.

      • lochnessmonster

        I'gvve been seeing him on my teevee all the time along with the mope who's renting his house.

  • bhosp

    I never get tired of that picture of Lieberman.

    That is the happiest that man has ever looked.

  • sussemilch

    King to knight's pawn, twiddle.

  • widestanceroman

    Fuck you.
    Fuck you.
    Fuck you.
    Fuck you.
    Fuck you.

    Five and half FUs for McCain and his filibustering threat. One for each year he was kept where he belongs–in a cage.

  • Mariecohn

    NOW, McConnell, where is the will of the people in all this? Isn't that your justification for everything else?

  • PublicLuxury

    It is quite obvious Lieberman is up for re-election in 2012. He is finally voting for things that would be popular with voters. Next thing you know he'll be licking Obama's nut sack.

    • Yes, Michelle publcly stuffing his jowls with his own cock after said tongue punch to Obie's nutsack would be very popular with voters!

    • ttommyunger

      Only if McConnell gives him permission.

  • GodShammgod

    Oh, but I thought the tax cut compromise meant that the Democrats would be able to take care of issues like DADT!

    Anyone who believed that can go eat a whole Freedom Tray of shit. Oh wait! They already did.

  • PublicLuxury

    Name a time that Congress did the right thing in the past twenty years. Of course they will not vote for cloture. They have to have a group of people that don't DESERVE their civil rights. Isn't that right, Indians? Blacks? Women? Asians? Irish? Mexicans? Cubans? Gays? Italians? Muslims? Mormons? Jews? . . .

    Discriminating against a group of people is a National Tradition, like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, traditions CANNOT be changed.

  • ArmoredBore

    Last I checked, you had to beg people to join the US Army. I guess beggars actually can be choosers, so long as the beggar is one of the most bloated military forces on the planet.

    If anyone needs me, I'll be in my happy place.

  • ArmoredBore

    Last I checked, you had to beg people to join the US Army. Turns out beggars actually can be choosers.

    If anyone needs me, I'll be in my happy place.

  • hagajim

    I find it hugely ironic that the 40 or 42 biggest assholes in the world would continually vote against removing DADT. I'll bet if Larry Craig were there he'd actually say he was going to vote for it, but then vote against cloture demanding that the world know he has a wide stance.

    Also – with that many assholes wouldn't you think that a few of them would be in favor of having them spread – out of the closet so to speak.

    So let me get this straight – the GOP screwed the Gays, they're going to burn the refrieds and they've always hated the blacks….who's gonna want to vote for them pretty soon…us whiteys is rapidly becoming fewer and fewer. Nice strategy dungholes.

  • fuflans

    k. time to turn off the radio, shut down the computer, open the cabernet and line up all three 'pirates of the caribbean' (yes – even POTC III) for tonight's necessary escape

    i am so not making this up.

  • MistaEko

    Clearly we need to commission the RAND Institution to perform another study that tackles the question at the heart of the matter:

    Really, Senate? REEAAAAALLLY?

  • Barrelhse

    Anyone who would buttonhole Lisa Murkowski on the floor is a poor excuse for a man.
    Or anywhere else, either.

  • Cicada

    As exciting as I find the post about Obama's smoking to be, I'm finding the updates from Joe Lieberman's Twitter much more interesting (who knew?). Reid is invoking "Rule 14" to allow the repeal to bypass committee and come directly to the floor.

    God help me, this is the sort of stuff I find fascinating.

  • mull_man

    Joe butt-in-holed Murkowski? That is not kosher. It being Thursday, a hook or zipper might have worked.

  • ttommyunger

    I don't care if they finally got one vote right, I must say I don't know which is worse; looking at Lieberwoman/Collins or listening to Lieberwoman/Collins. Watching AND listening: out of the question. I just can't handle it.

  • Another Democratic loss by a score of 57-40…Hey Harry Reid, what are you gonna do now?


  • mrbubb

    Goddamn the Senate is broken. Also, what the Democrats could have done, if they would only move in lockstep, like the little Nazis across the aisle.

  • mrbubb

    Couldn't Obama at least have included DADT repeal as payment for the assfucking he's making the country take over the tax cuts. The only place you can't get assfucked anymore is in the fucking military. Fuck this fucking country in the fucking ass are there any jobs in, like, Estonia?

  • "It’s hard to explain to someone used to the world operating on reason and logic why you would vote against allowing yourself to vote for something you want to vote for."

    What corner of which dimension in the universe do I need to stand on to wait for the bus that returns me to a "world operating on reason and logic?"

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