Hooray for the Democrats! Congressman Tim Bishop (D-NY) finally defeated his Republican challenger, some guy. This means the GOP only has 242 seats in the House, and the Democrats have 193. According to Senate rules established last year, 242 isn’t really a solid majority over 193, so the Democrats control the House of Representatives. Unfortunately, Barack Obama literally turned into Ronald Reagan this week, and he/it has vowed to veto all legislation from the Democrat-controlled Congress — unless the legislation is actually written and approved by Republicans.
The New York Daily News reports:
Republican Randy Altschuler has finally thrown in the towel in his quest to unseat incumbent Democratic Rep. Tim Bishop in Long Island’s NY-1, the country’s last undecided House race.
The campaign said Bishop was leading by 263 votes with 977 absentee ballots left to be counted — a situation that left Altschuler unlikely to win. The campaign has also dropped its legal challenges to the remaining uncounted ballots.
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Well. This changes everything. Public Option available in 3…2…1…
Ronnie Raygun is back from the dead! He is a zombie and has eaten Obama's brain. The rapture is coming. The rapture is coming.
"Barack Obama literally turned into Ronald Reagan this week."
Does this mean that we have to rename National Airport again?
Renaming back to simply Washington National Airport would be fine with me.
Phyllis Schafly and her pet "Ronald Reagan Legacy Project" would hate that. She wants to rename everything in
AmericaReaganica after her boyfriend. BUT, has anyone seen an authentic birf certificate proving that RR was born in the good olde United States of Reaganica?I don't know a single person who calls it "Reagan" – everyone from this area has always and will continue to refer to it as "National." As in, the three airports in the area are Dulles, National, and BWI.
I was trying to give directions to an out-of-towner and asked them if they were flying out of National. He gave me a blank stare back. I rephrased the question, asking whether he was flying out of Dulles, BWI or National. He said "You mean Reagan?" He had absolutely no idea what I was talking about.
You probably still call it "Price Club" too.
By the way: don't shop there. It's evil.
Nah, it'll be like a hyphenated-married name, along the lines of Atlanta's Hartsfield- Jackson-King-Partridge in a Peachtree-International
That must mean he doesn't really remember getting elected, that he was elected a Democrat, and explains his sort of tirade yesterday against Democrats who believed his campaign promises. Alzheimer's is a terrible disease, and unfortunately, we are stuck with it for another two years.
Love the blingey…is that 'coon supposed to represent some President or something?
This is the famous Jim Newell blingee of … 2008? When wonkette won some stupid blog award. It's been all downhill since — for everyone.
I have a higher pee score than Ken.
Suck it world…I am going to Disneyland!
A modest accomplishment, to be sure. Like owning the most expensive Ford Escort.
Perhaps this blog should change from being about politics to just being about pee scores! Think of the fun we'll have!
The wonket pees. The new videogame sensation. Will it come with assault weapons that can be used to shoot Bible Spice, DeMint and various teabaggers that piss us off? The first two mean two pees for the wonkeratti who bags 'em first.
Oh, wait. We're liberals. We wouldn't even know how to shoot video guns. Superpee Mario, anyone?
Needs moar Justin Biever.
Meh, the Democratic party is pretty much proving that they will never have majority as long as a Republican has a seat somewhere.
Beardy Mc.Asshole pants up there in Alaska should take a page out of Altschuler's playbook. God, they're all such assholes.
Best watch your groupthink there. Soon our asshole overlords will start harvesting our organs when all the cash is drained. I presume they'll start with irreverent, non-believers like the wonketeers. (which is why I'm ruining my liver so they can't use it – hah!)
Good thinking.
Say, a lot of Wonkettes write about drinking a lot because of the grim times in which we live. But how much do we really drink? How about a simple poll:
1) 1 or fewer drinks per day.
2) 2 or three drinks per day.
4) 4 or more. Drinks. Per day.
F) What were you saying?
I'm too drunk for teh mathz.
None at all since 1989. You wouldn't have liked me before then. Not that you do now…
HAHAHAHA!
Yes
Elwyn P Tinkleberg, for instance, went down to ignominious defeat (at the hands Michele Bachmann and "her" voters) and returned to obscurity with the same dignity he exhibited during the hard-fought race.
He's an Elf King–why does he need a freakin Congressional seat?
Wer reitet so spat? Erlkönig!
und bist Du nicht willig …
I just heard that the Minn guv's race was finally decided for the Democrat. (We're on a roll, people!)
What is it with Minn anyway? Your state name is the shit to spell and you can't decide elections in a timely fashion. Congrats to Minn wonkeratti, anyway, on not having a Repbulithug digwad like Gov-Elect Mattress Mary of Oklahoma.
Barack's been turned.
Pretty impressive being elected as democrat in the New York City area. There is a comeback for 2012 in the works I can feel it.
Do people in Manhattan consider Long Island to be part of the NYC area?
Half the people in Manhattan don't even consider Brooklyn to be part of the NYC area, so no. And despite the attempts of its inhabitants to colonize the Meatpacking District every weekend, Long Island is definitely not considered part of NYC.
This guy's district includes the Hamptons, so no, not even close.
Well the island does start in Queens and Brooklyn so maybe.
Next thing you know Ollie North will be in the Middle East making deals with Iran.
Again.
Yep. All things old are new again. Just like in fashion. Shoulder pads and stirrup pants are back, baby. So why not recycle politics? Take out those tried and true ideas and dust them off and give 'em a whirl. Maybe this time he'll serve time.
You don't really believe that, do you?
Gawd no. I do NOT really believe that. Ollie North and Raygun are some of the very worst perpeTRAITORs of the policies that fucked us then and some continue to fuck us now. The Herpes of politics.
Does that mean the travesty of leg warmers will be back too? Ugh.
Can't wait until Obama slips during a press conference as denounces the Democrat Party.
Dem-entia?
Excellent.
Didn't he do that yesterday? When he went all black and was recorded saying, "Oh no you dint." with a hand on his hip and defiant head shake.
He as much as called me a fool for having ideals and principles. As much as I criticize the Right about the content of their ideals, I never criticize them for having ideals. Obama, on the other hand, seems to think I should throw my principles aside and not even fight for my ideals.
Obama is worse than Redstate!!!
I hear he called SMU about borrowing that "Mission Accomplished" banner.
barry won't be ronnie till he gets that grey out of his hair.
Or Michelle starts banging Frank Sinatra Jr.
She should have just said "No!" "No Frank, not in the ass, my ass belongs to Daddy."
Yeah, he proved yesterday he needs to be more black.
So will Barack be basing his foreign policy on astrology now? Will Al-Quaeda implode and destroy itself shortly after he leaves office, leading some dumb people to give him undeserved credit for defeating them?
And can we have Caspar Weinberger back? He was a great SecDef. And Don Re(a)gan, and Jim Baker and his goddamn green neckties. Man, it'll be great!
Oooo! And I wants me some Savings and Loan crisis! If we're gonna have a financial debacle, that one was soooo cheap in comparison to what we have today.
I've always felt that Nancy's astrologer was cheated when she didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize.
This was part of the Republican compromise — they decided to let ACORN have this one (since they lost).
He's showing his white half.
What's she doing to that raccoon?
First time I have ever seen a raccoon that big wearing a pointed wizard hat.
I've never seen a raccoon that big before!
Maine 'coon, obvs.
Boy, you don't get out much. All of 'em around here look like a goddam Hogwarts convention.
Mind you, my doctor doesn't believe they're real, but he's *wrong*.
In other "Democrats are winning" news, the recount for Governor of Minnesota is over. And it's going to the mildly depressed, recovering alcoholic, erratic guy, not the repeat DUI, tax your tips, hockey guy. Dems on a roll, dems on a roll!
Governor Goofy II
I really do love Minnesota.
I am mildly surprised and pleased that, in the spirit of bipartisanship, Obama didn't suggest Joe Lieberman for MN governor or NY-1 before now.
Also, Tom Delay is still a convicted felon — enjoy it while it lasts (that is, until the inevitable Ted Stevensesque successful appeal).
At least Stevens got the ultimate sentence.
Goddamit. You got to all this shit first. No pees for you.
And here I was, thinking he was a lame-duck president. Silly me.
His famous last words: “Tear down these party walls, Ms. Pelosi.”
If it walks like a duck, squawks like a duck, it's a Republican.
what's the alt-text for 'Altschuler'?
"Old-student"
Two years with Mr. Speaker Agent Orange and the Senate Minority Leader,and voice of the great white wail, Mitch "Moldy Dick" Mitchell. Yup, time to open all the bars from Maine to Hawaii for some serious drinking during a very extended crappy hour.
Will that Noah's Ark thingy be open soon? And will they have serious drinking there? Before the whole shithouse goes up in flames.
Obama/Ben Quayle '12
I'd say Mitch is more like Ahab than the whale. His desire to push Obama out of power displayed itself with tragic disproportion in his statements following the election. "He tasks me, Mr. Boehner, he tasks me!"
McCooooooooooooonnell!!!
"Take another pledge, old man," said the Parsee, as his eyes lighted up like fire-flies in the gloom–"Hemp only can kill thee."
Now get out there, boy, and sell this to the crew.
(…light cigars…champagne glasses ting….)
If Michelle Obama starts consulting astrologers and Ouija boards I’m moving to Canada and this time I mean it.
Somehow, this is good news for John McCain.
Any time somewhere in he world fails is a good time for McCain.
You know who else reveled in a few small victories after it was evident that the cause was lost?
Richard Nixon, regarding Vietnam?
Hitler.
Whoah whoah whoah! There's no need for that.
wall-E!
Leonard Shelby?
The Chicago Cubs?
You know, at this point, I really can't tell which parts of the above article are sarcastic and/or fakeypants.
Just laugh at everything, or you'll end up crying softly in the corner, mumbling incoherently under your breath. It's the only way I get through political news these days. God knows how Stuef does it.
Don't let Mumbly_Joe start mumbling. It will only add to the confusion and heartbreak of the last few days.
So who won the Chris Cilizza Pick the Election contest?
What does that even mean?
It means he firmly believed in whatever the last person he talked to said.
Don't forget the cue cards.
Cue cards, the telepromter of the day.
Do I really need to explain myself? I thought this was satire site….
Even if they weren't his own, Ronnie stuck to his ideals no matter how backwards, idiotic and completely deprived of logic they were.
That's IT! Barry has early-stage Alzheimer's. The first thing you forget is your base.
You were writing satire? Could've fooled me. Reagan did what his handlers told him to do. You can't seriously think he came up with that lame trickle-down economic theory on his own.
This comment will probably cost me half of my pee points
It's not that Obama became a Reagan lookalike. He's always been that way. By today's Repubican standards, Reagan would be kicked to the curb like a Demoncrat on Fox News. He raised taxes (quite a bit), legalized abortion as CA gov, was friends with non-GOP gheys, didn't attend church hourly (or ever). Plus he was in the actual military during WWII — OK, he made training films — but still, wore the uniform. What a RINO!
Did he like to diddle little boys?
By today's definition of a Republican, Eisenhower and Nixon would be considered Socialists.
As soon as Nancy told him what it was.
Shit, I'm one comment behind all the way down this thread.
Got to get in line early with this crowd. I rarely get to the end of a long thread with my plan intact.
He'll have to start calling Michelle "Mommy" and wear a pink teddy to bed to fill those slippers.
Okay, I know I'm a big Obama Pollyanna and all, but this might actually be a pretty slick move on our Prez's part — especially now that Jim DeMint and the Club for Growth have come out against it. It might turn out that Republican opposition is what kills this deal, in which case they will have killed the goose that laid the golden egg. Giving the Republicans exactly what they want and watching them f*ck it up is not something I'm used to, but I'm willing to put some popcorn in the microwave just in case this turns out to be a train wreck.
I hope you are right.
I'm curious, though, why the GOP'ers aren't catching more heck for their opposition of the extension of unemployment benefits. You'd think at least the millions of unemployed people would resent their comments about unemployment checks fostering a sense of entitlement.
Maybe 'cause one thing the Prez and company seem to lack is finely honed PR sense. They should be screaming from the rooftops of every pundit platform in existance about the seeming indifference of the current NeoCon Repubs to the working man's problems.
Probably because there's no equivalent of FOX News for the downtrodden. Also, Democrats' sense of betrayal seems to be the splashy story right now — but if there's enough Republican opposition in the Senate to keep this from passing during this session, it'll be on them.
The unemployed have been beaten into believing it's all their own fault.
They are probably a little preoccupied looking for and worrying about finding a job/hoarding hobo beans for the winter, etc.
Ah, if only you turn out to be right. But I seriously doubt it, given that Conservatives have been crowing about how Obama caved without even putting up a fight.
Republican Randy Altschuler is queerly a big gay quitter. Sarah Palin will rise up and smite him.
Can I haz Cold War nao?
If Obama had turned into Reagan, Republicans would all be simul-orgasming for the next two years. No, he turned into Bill Clinton.
how about grayson runs againt obama in a 2012 primary?
Barry really needs to stay out of Five Guys for awhile. Phat gone fat.
So thanks to Tim we can go back to chokin' the Bishop?
That woman with the raccoon on her lap is crazy. Raccoons are almost as nasty as Tea Baggers.
Our local veterinarian is one of the sweetest most compassionate people I've ever met but if you say the word "raccoon" around him he responds with two words: "kill it".
With the major difference being that one of these is a clever group…and the others are tea baggers.
When he could remember what it was.
It's easy to look like you stand for what you believe, when what you believe is that rich people should drink the milkshake of teh poors, sicks, gheys and brownz. When what you believe is the status quo, laying down looks like standing.
"When what you believe is the status quo, laying down looks like standing."
Nice. Thumbs up.
I sense a lotta Barry hate since this place went uptown. Not counting Clinton, he's still the best prezinent since… forever. I especially liked that he got pissed off yesterday and explained that it's better to take what you can get than to settle for a sense of purity. That's not to say he or anyone else likes Republicans, everyone fucking hates em, it's just an admission that they're better at politicking than Dems are. Or ever have been.
yea, Clinton was the best Republican prez evah!
And now we have yet another 'free trade' (screw the workers) agreement going down with South Korea.
And to think, all this time I believed Hillary and Barry when they promised to re-negotiate NAFTA, CAFTA, et al. I must have misunderstood them.
I suppose I just don't get it. Yeah, the average person is always screwed by people in power but Dems are the only ones who ever tried to do anything about it. Last month I found the speech JFK gave in 1960 when my mom dragged me to the airport and he sounded just like Obama.
Bwahahaha!
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