Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo is going to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize Friday, because “peace” apparently is now a synonym for “toiling in vain for democracy.” China does not like this very much, as Liu is sitting in one of their prisons, so they decided to make their very own peace prize. According to the Beijing businessman who is said to have conceived of the new prize, the Nobel Peace Prize is “not a holy thing” and “everyone has a right” to dispute its choice by making their own peace prize. Except the guy who narrowly beat out the 90′s band Smash Mouth for China’s first prize doesn’t seem to want it.
The first honoree is Lien Chan, Taiwan’s former vice president and the honorary chairman of its Nationalist Party, for having “built a bridge of peace between the mainland and Taiwan.” A staffer in his Taipei office said she could not comment Tuesday because she knew nothing about the prize.
Jesus, AP, you ruined the surprise! China was going to put a bag over his face, stuff him in a helicopter, and throw him an award party over in China, but now it won’t be a surprise, so they may as well not even do it. How unpeaceful of you, AP.
Chan was chosen from among eight nominees — some of whom are regularly mentioned for, or have already won, that other peace prize: billionaire Bill Gates, former South African President Nelson Mandela, former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas and the Panchen Lama, the second-highest figure in Tibetan Buddhism.
Probably could have gotten Jimmy Carter to go to this thing. Really, China, you should be better at throwing together a fake award at the last minute. It’s almost as if you don’t want to be a superpower. [AP]
{ 69 comments }
It’s almost as if you don’t want to be a superpower.
And who could blame them?
Superpowers have to deal with shit like this.
It's more of those awful liberals' war on Christmas!
Oh wait, this came about because of Christians complaining about Halloween; ha ha!
Christ. I didn't think they could make sitting in a tiny box inhaling exhaust fumes and taking germ-infested money from cranky drivers all day any worse than it already was. How depressing.
The sounds besides the cars are horrible to, the row of toll booths act to amplify wind when it hits a certain speed, you just sit there and listen to a deafening drumming for hours on end. Manned a toll booth for a summer job in 97.
And I thought the "bridge to nowhere" was in Milwaukee.
It goes to the old Blatz factory.
So that's why they call you Suds!
Leave it to China to create a cheap knock-off of the real thing.
I look forward to purchasing mine at the local Dollar Tree. Peace Prizes for everyone!
I'd buy that for a dollar!
Imagine the poor Chinese prison worker that has to assemble it.
Hey, this peace prize is falling apart and I've only had it for a week!
This is to the Nobels as the AVN Awards is to the Oscars.
Should be good, because the AVN's are way more entertaining than the Oscars.
Frankly, I'm a little surprised it wasn't awarded to Barack Obama.
He was Mandchuria's candidate and its not their turn.
That seems like a lot of work. All China needs to do is hack nobelprize.org and pick their own winners.
Yeah reminds me of the Peace prizes the last president gave out to his staff for invading Iraq. I think it was called a medal of "free dumb."
There's a bridge of peace between mainland China and Taiwan? Who knew?
Probably one-way, but still…
No, it's two-way, but one lane. Sorry, Paul Haggis already landed the movie rights.
You know who else got the Nobel Peace Prize (and kept making war just the same).
BTW, the only explanation that I can think of for Obama's current policies is that "they" have something on him and he's become the puppet of some hidden power. What is it that "they" know and can be used so effectively to blackmail him? If you can figure it out, be my guest.
Wheels within wheels, man. Or, we can apply Occam's Razor: Obama has totally pussed out. Discuss among yourselves.
All will be revealed in Wikileak's poison pill dump.
I wonder how much of their info they got from foreign intelligence agencies?
Hasn't the Nobel committee been fighting a trend the past several years where people take credit for being "nominated" for Nobel when in fact there is no public nomination process and any asshole could claim to have been nominated? Maybe China could out-do the Nobel by capitalizing on that trend and having a public announcement of "nominees" months prior to handing out the award. And of course they could sell the nominations to the highest bidders.
Oooh, China. Kanye West is going to be pissed that you didn't nominate Beyonce.
If you like it then you shoulda put a prize on it.
YO Lien Chan, I'm really happy for you, and ima let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best years of peace of ALL TIME!! Of ALL TIME!
If he tries that in China, he will be dissapeared.
They normally only give out bullets (but are kind enough to send a card with a bill for the family later). So I think this shows real progress.
Maybe. But the cultural tone deafness of this sort of thing is staggering from a global perspective. I guess, though, that if your own population is a large fraction of the global population then that's the audience you play to.
Is there a Chinese equivalent of schmuck?:
They tried "shlemiel" but had too much trouble pronouncing it.
Likely the same with "schlimazel." No Joys of Yiddish hat trick for Mao's enkel.
George W. Bush wasn't even nominated? But he allowed the extradition of Butterstick the anchor baby — what a snub!!!
If the American South had thought of this back in the 60s we probably would have seen George Wallace of Bull Connor get a fake peace prize when King got the real one.
A Chinese peace award makes sense… because dissadents don't make a fucking sound after the Chinese torture the fuck out of them.
The Chinese Peach prize won't rival the one in Stockholm until they get the People's equivalent of Princess Madeline to sit onstage during the awards looking concerned while wearing a low cut dress and leaning into the camera.
http://bit.ly/crKXx1
Perhaps if Lucy Liu got implants…
I've got a peace prize for her … in my pants.
Armadillos for all!
China has learned very well from the US. When you disagree with reality, create your own.
Does that come with egg rolls?
Choose two prizes from column A and one prize from column B. All prizes come with rice.
looks like china's throwing their own teaparty.
Hey, if Rand Paul can set up his own Opthamologist certification board and staff it with family members, I don't see why China can't set up their own fake Nobel Peace Prize. I'm just surprised they didn't award the prize to the tank commander who crushed the Tiennemen Square protests. And, come to think of it, I'm flabbergasted that North Korea hasn't set up its own Peace Prize to be awarded yearly to Dear Leader.
And let's also remember that it was the Chinese who invented gunpowder and they would have been as rich as Alfred Nobel had they just patented the stuff. North Korea? Not so much.
Sad thing is: North Korea probably is about as rich as the Alfred Nobel foundation's endowment.
Sarah Palin should twat it and her followers will all call in to throw the vote any way she/Red Chinese want it to go!
I'm guessing the prize is going to the furry in the panda suit.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/12/...
Lien Chan? I know that guy! He's a fucking douchebag! Fucking Chinese appeasement patsy.
OK, I don't literally know him, but I know he's a douche.
DPP4EVAH!
Yeah, he's a complete Uncle Guang.
Bitchin' cabin, though.
Pagoda?
Wow, think of the possibilities. The Teabaggers can now create their own Nobel Peace Prize and give it to Christine O'Donnell for removing a RINO in Delaware.
And perhaps I can create a knock off Pulitzer and give it to… me as a Wonkette Commentator.
You know, poaching RINOs is illegal in Africa. Thank god we don't live in Africa, right?
Oh no! Now the Chinks are pulling ahead in the Jokie-Fuck-You America Medal Race. We must close the Medals Gap at any cost. Now our hilarious Congressional Medal of Freedom (I'm thinking George Tennant, Aretha Frankling, etc.) will mean even less than it already does not mean. We must come up with a bigger, better medal now, or else…Suggestions?
No nomination. They don't like me! They really don't like me! But I've been building bridges between Repubicans and Demoncrats. Well fuck 'em. They can take their god damn "peace" prize and shove it up their ass. And if they don't like it I'll send armies of darkness to lay waste to their fuckin' land. Then I'll just take the peace prize. Who's gonna stop me?
Does it come in a Cookie?
Cooookieeees, …… nomnomnom
If the chinese can make their own Peace Prize, I can make my own Wonkette.
I'm not sure what China's strategy is in publicly whining about the awarding of the Peace Prize to one of its dissidents. All it does it get more media attention on its human rights record. They seem to have the same public relations firm as the Democratic Party.
Goddamn those uppity Chinese.
You will meet a short, balding gentleman with almond-shaped eyes behind his spectacles.
Really, if China wanted to make a point, they should have nominated Julian Assange.
I think China and the US are on the same page with respect to wikileaks and Mr. Assange!
For all you saying that America losing super-power status wouldn't be such a bad thing this would be one of your new super-powers, folks. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, except that this one doesn't have any pretenses about being an amoral asshole.
The Chinese could vote on "Dancing With The Proletariat".
Comments on this entry are closed.