- The Metropolitan Police arrested Julian Assange this morning in London, on suspicion of not wearing a condom in Sweden. (What?) This whole debacle is very quickly developing into some sort of unfortunate James Bond Romcom Bollywood Thriller. One of Assange’s accusers has ties to the CIA, and WikiLeaks has threatened to release the key to a 1.4-gigabyte encrypted file that “contains a ‘deluge’ of secret information,” if anything should happen to their beloved Australian Sex Machine. Meanwhile, righteous basement dwellers Anonymous launched a successful DDOS attack against Switzerland Post Finance, the Swiss bank that recently froze an account being used for Assange’s legal defense fund. What a clusterfuck! Assange will appear before a London court sometime today. UPDATE: Assange has been denied bail and remains in British custody. Now he is being charged with sexing a lady while she was sleeping? [NYT/VOA]
- South Korea is building a massive island “fortress” near North Korea. This can only end poorly. [WaPo]
- Israel is extremely upset at Argentina for recognizing “a Palestinian state in territories Israel occupied in 1967,” because how were they able to recognize it? All that bulldozing and white phosphorous should have made it completely unrecognizable. [AP]
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Ummm…I am just thinking about what is under those kilts. hmmmmm… You say something is happening in South Korea?
If it's a quarter pounder, he must be a McDonald.
It's a McDouble.
According to this WAPA article (too early to hyperlink): http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/arti...
there are some undesirable residues under the kilts. Sorry to harsh the mellow.
So I will have them bathe, dry clean the kilt, and throw on a little Creed Irish Tweed on and we are set. The power of my imagination is legendary, especially in the face of sucky news cycle.
Just as an aside, we had someone wear the full kilt and outfit to our wedding. I was sitting with my dad on the balcony and we were looking down at the audience for the ceremony. My dad leaned over and said, "Someone should tell that guy to sit like a lady."
He also did reveal what was under his kilt at our reception when asked about it.
I was in a bar in Edinburgh with my cousin a few years back. There was live music, a group of men all in kilts. We were a bit drunk, ok, a whole lot drunk, and at the band's break, my cousin asked one of the band members if she could peek under his kilt. To my surprise, he said yes. She lifted his kilt to find black bicycle shorts under there. The man said "Lady, do you think I'd be up on stage in front of an audience without anything on under there?" My cousin was mightly disappointed.
So Mr. Assange is doing the leaking just for the girls? Seems like rock star or senator might be a better choice.
cluster fucks have replaced the outlawed cluster bombs as the weapon of choice in the ongoing war against peace.
once cluster fucks are illegal, only fucks will have clusters.
Thumbs and p medal with clusters to you, Sir.
Unfortunately I was born with peanut clusters.
Cluster bombs were a real treasure in Vietnam. We'd drop them on old Charlie and Charlie would carefully pick them out of the trees and use them as booby traps for those of us who got to enjoy the back country trekking adventure. Gotcha! No got you! A total cluster fuck.
Redheads not warheads…Blondes not bombs…We're talkin about brunettes not fighter jets…Oooh Oooh it's got to be Sweet 16's not M-16's
When will the governments realize it's got to be funky sexy ladies?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFjrbmj0CUc
That link made my morning. Thanks for that.
thanks for the link. nothing flies with the lightness of a conchord.
& yet James O'Keefe walks freely.
for the same reason we can't arrest professional wrestlers for undermining our social fabric, I think.
The difference between professional wrestlers and James O'Keefe is that the wrestlers have some talents.
to be fair, i don't think anyone can charge james o'keefe with having had sex.
Not until Wikileaks gets its hands on the contents of the SEX TAPE MACHINE, anyway.
Well, you should know the obvious difference.
O'Keefe was doing his nonsense to prop up conservatards and therefore his actions are beyond reproach.
Don't forget Osama Bin Laden.
If you print out 1.4-gigabytes of information it would take up exactly the amount of paper Dick Cheney's office shredded back in '08….
Remember that little office fire Cheney had?
North Korea is again successfully blackmailing the world with nuclear warfare on the in the Korean peninsula in exchange for food aid? Maybe they learned how well that works by watching Mitch McConnel blackmail the Obama administration with economic catastrophe in the U.S. exchange for upper income tax cuts?
North Korea: it's basically the GOP of geopolitics.
Except North Korea is at least acting somewhat in its own self-interest…the GOP is only looking out for 1% and fucking the whole country in the process.
Some hungry people in North Korea might argue that the analogy still holds.
Are you telling me the GOP Senators and Congresspeople aren't situated comfortably in that 1%?
dunno mate, all I am saying is the GOP is worse for the planet than North Korea.
S. Korea ought to offer a safe comfortable retirement to the entire N. Korean elite.
You can be sure that some S. Koreans are looking forward to getting the nukes when the N. Korean regime collapses.
Contents of Assange's doomsday file:
1. an uncensored interview with Barbara Bush
2. the "Kill Whitey" speech by Michelle Obamar
3. the secret formula for Coke
4. Julian's Facebook login and PW
5. the missing 18 minutes from the Nixon White House tapes "erased" by Rosemary Woods.
6. John Boehner's bronzer formula
7. A Washington Redskins playbook
8. A grainy fax of OJ's signed confession
9. The original master recordings for Dr. Dre's Detox.
9. Recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken .
10. Several pages from Sarah Palin's high school diary.
11. Santa's naughty list.
10. The long-form birth certificate
12. The identity of Tupoc's killer.
The LAPD?
I always thought Suge Knight was the likely culprit (well, people working for him).
True. But many of Suge's thugs were (off-duty) LAPD. The shooter of Notorious B.I.G. was a cop. & the LAPD's complicity in the whole thing is one reason Tupac's murder has never been resolved.
11. BoA's secret handshake and mortgage fraud game
Ha! Great minds….see my response to your post below.
9. Original tape faking the moon landing
Kenyan Birth Certificate.
12. The clean high fidelity digitized master tapes of Velvet Underground's first album.
13. Julian's top 10 list of the best actors to play James Bond.
It is obvious that Julian has pissed some people off. They want to silence him. Arresting him for finger banging the ladies instead of good ol' fashion rape. It should be all to obvious to everybody that Julian's sexual tastes need to be reshaped into a higher diaper quality of sex. Not this unmanly fingering shit. Every republitard knows that women want the hot sausage anytime you want to give it. Nothing like a forced pickle tickle to start your day.
Ladies I have "known" are quite partial to being on the receiving end of the oral thing.
Of course they like the oral thing. Oral things are the best things. Maybe if Julian was more oral… He could get the global bad boys to stop trying to fuck him with his pants on.
My top suspicion is that the whole force of corprat internationale went nuts after he revealed that he's going to play "We know all your secrets" with the banks.
I'm wondering now what he has on BoA that's making the RW echo machine and international finance take a collective shit on his head.
How about a few emails between Bank of "America" and Gold Man-Sacks muckety-mucks colluding to cash in on their AIG "insurance" against CDO defaults?
More than likely.
It's either going to rock international corprat finance… or be as disappointing as the typical US America Superbowl.
Remember, Howard Dean's campaign was going very well until he slipped that he was going to investigate the major corporations. Then the crazy Dean smears began, and, well, you know.
"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Assange's fellow Australians AC/DC should headline a benefit concert series for him.
Just tell the boys Julian got into trouble for giving the dog a bone.
"Arresting him for finger banging the ladies instead of good ol' fashion rape. "
CNN said with one of the women, the condom broke and Assage refused to stop.
After watching all three of Steig Larson's The Girl Who.. movies, I acknowledge that there is some weird sexual stuff going on in that country that I don't understand.
Isn't Anna Ardin the same person who used to pose for Hustler under the name of Anna Hardon?
And also, irrespective of any CIA or Cuban connection, why should an Uppsala University gender officer agree to fuck an Australian anarchist as part of a threesome?
And what about that initial application by Sweden that said that Assange was "detained" and that was otherwise written in very approximate English? Is that a reflection on the quality of education at aforementioned Uppsala U?
Many unresolved issues remain. Including whether the movie rights have been optioned.
They're going to film concurrently with Fincher's English-language version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Daniel Craig will also play Assange.
Seytime is a crime in Sweden! Go figure.
All that 70s porn was a lie!
"The Metropolitan Police arrested Julian Assange this morning in London, on suspicion of not wearing a condom in Sweden."
Christ, I've never worn a condom in Sweden. I've never even *been* in Sweden. Is Interpol after me? That's it: I'm putting a condom on right now, just to be safe. Hope my office colleagues don't mind.
Whether they mind or not probably depends a lot upon whether the member on which you are putting that condom is sleeping or angry.
Also, Elizabeth Edwards is facing her imminent death within a few weeks with good cheer, thereby out-classing her estranged husband for eternity, once and for all.
Very pointedly, publicly (passive-aggressively?) out-classing her ex-husband. And she wants everyone to know it.
…and very much out-classing that New Agey piece of white trash tail he stepped out with, too.
True, although Breck Boy set a very low bar. Also the way she whored for her book (interviews everywhere but refusing to talk about Lisa Druck) was disappointing to those of us who had admired her. It's not as if she needed the money for chemo.
I think Elizabeth was trying to leave a legacy for her children. her side of the story and pile of cash. Isn't 'daddy' still seeing Reale? Elizabeth probably just wanted to make sure the kids had enough, not being able to trust little Johnny.
I've always been proud of how Elizabeth annihilated any political aspiration John may have had in the future. He's done. Over. An aberration on the American landscape.
She saved us all from the possibility of an Edwards presidency, or at least candidacy. This outweighs any cavils about book marketing.
Just imagine, if Edwards had gotten the nomination the story of his affair and baby would have come out right in the middle of the general election. Say hello to President McCain.
Hey, don't rule him out! He could always turn republican…
I would LOVE to see him turn republican, if only to see how they react and, if his prospects inexplicably improved, see how they framed his odious behavior.
I have this fantasy of them getting back together before her death, kissing, crying and all is forgiven. She can die happy and he can take a load off his conscience.
I know, very sappy and unrealistic. There's probably a better chance of Obama suddenly growing a pair. But I can dream.
John Edwards, who is a narcissist, at best, a psychopath, at worst, could easily fake it.
As the saying goes, if you can learn to fake sincerity, you've got it made.
Edwards was a master at it, right? While some employers harm their employees through negligence, some employees gouge their employers by faking injuries. Edwards — both of them, right? — thrived in the gray area between these.
oh this is very sad i did not know this.
sorry i got nothing.
He's there, the NYT says: "She was briefly hospitalized last week. She was surrounded by members of her family on Monday, including her three children and Mr. Edwards, a friend said, and she was resting comfortably at her home in Chapel Hill, N.C."
…out-classing her estranged husband for eternity
In my book, Elizabeth E. passed that milestone a loooong time ago.
I think that South Korea should make sure they contract the construction of their island fortress out to Spectre Construction, LLC; Ernst Stavro Blofeld, proprietor. They're like the Brown & Root of constructing island fortresses.
Transparency is a bitch. So are high winds if you are shy.
It's good to see the police, which usually turn a blind eye to rape accusations, are finally starting to take the crime seriously; I'm sure this treatment of Mr. Assange is all about the alleged crime and there are no ulterior motives whatsoever.
I predict Mr. Assange will soon be singing his extraordinary rendition of the "Guantanamera."
This comment makes me think of Jose Feliciano, & how, some days, I think: Felicianos's rendition of "The Star-spangled Banner" at the '68 World Series in Detroit was even better than Whitney's take at Super Bowl XXV.
Of course, the Teabaggers of that year thought it was iconoclasm.
You know, Argentina might want to stay away from the Israel/Palestine issue as the three things that come to mind when I think of the country are big steaks,
Evita and SS officers on the run.
How soon we forget the great war for the Falklands.
The sheep have not forgotten.
Also home of the "Appalachian Trail," "sparking" with hot mistresses, and Manu Ginobili.
A large Jewish population, too.
Israel is also upset at Argentina for recognizing Palestinians as human beings.
When is Nobama/Hillary going to grow some balls???
1.4 gigabytes is the amount of storage in your average washing machine. My cat's Ipod has more than 1.4 gigs of songs for heaven's sake.
I wouldn't even flinch unless the guy had a Terabyte of bad stuff about me.
I wouldn't even flinch unless the guy had a Terabyte of bad stuff about me.
Alright who are you? Zhivago? Sounds like an alias to me, Johnny…, as in Johnny Mnemonic! Yeah, the jig is up! Interpol is on to you man!
1.4 gigs is a lot of text. Only 30 minutes of 1080p porno though.
Colonel Mustard, you say? In the library, with a candlestick? Nonsense! It was Mr. Assange, in the public sphere, with a 1.4 gigabyte encrypted file.
And no rubbers!
Could that sound be the bell ringing for Round Two in Korea?
Wait. Round One is over?
There's just TWO things on that encrypted disk:
- The crazy old secret to lose 4 pounds of bellyfat every week
- The exact way a New Jersey mom makes $1700 a week from home.
Don't forget the 200 mpg carburetor, or the pills that make your car run on water!
She copies and pastes insane right-wing ramblings on "leftie" websites to "make liberals' heads explode," I mean "to Make LIEberals Heads EXPLODE."
For money.
Shouldn't the charge against Julian Assange be for not wearing rubber gloves?
Are we going to hand Julian Assange over to the wingtards to further placate their outrage over unemployment benefits being extended?
Sigh. I thought I was the 'beloved Australian sex machine' of legend. Must try harder.
By God, but I love this country.
We got that Commie Liberal Pinko SKUM Morton Sobell out of Mexico in 1950.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morton_Sobell
And we'll get that Commie Liberal Pinko SKUM Assange out of England.
Which proves that "Great Britain" as all the independence and political integrity of that Band Of Beaners South of the Border . . . .
OLE!
Nice trip down memory lane. What about Sacco and Vanzetti?
Remember, though: Great Britain refused to extradite Pinochet to Spain.
They have their limits.
Great Britain is still really not comfortable being overly friendly with either Spain or France. Centuries of history, you know, despite the recent good P.R..
That, & Margaret Thatcher's only marginally repressed affections for Pinochet & his Commie-killing prick.
True. He's a murderous dictator, but he's HER murderous dictator, I guess.
They have their limits.
Uh, minimums. We have our minimums. If they're not met, the bidding is closed and the product doesn't move. Your custom is appreciated only when the price is right. Altruism doesn't build empire…
I wonder if he has one of those WW II era cyanide-capsule-in-the-hollow-tooth things.
There'll be some sexytime alright when the Swedes extradite him to an unnamed CIA 'protective custody' facility…
Saw Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay on the cable Sunday. & if that documentary is any guide, I think a Cock-meat Sandwich is in Julian's future.
Is GTMO where they send the gay Marines?
From Huffpo, I shit you not:
Sex, Leaks, And Retribution?…
Really Huffpo? Really?
With the Enquirer going under, I suppose SOMEONE needs to fill the void.
According to Julian's old Australian lawyer, the prosecution is hoping to use a new fucktard Swedish law as part of the case. This new law basically states that the fact of his fame and influence is a contributing factor to rape now, as in the woman felt compelled to consent because he's now famous the world over as an oddly compelling left wing sex symbol.
And yet this is one of the cunt-rees we consider more free. The World is fucked!
Wasn't Assange basically arrested for a cluster fuck?
Julian played Rolf in his high school production of Sound of Music and Liesl had some nasty things to say about him too.
They seek him here, they seek him there,
Those f****ers seek him everywhere,
Is he in England, is….oh never mind….
Is he in England, is….
…he in France
Does he wear a kilt without underpants?
This Assange, Julian some say
Got a bit too digital and now must pay
After those Swedish charges, maybe they should call it StickyLeaks
or just "Julian leaks."
Depending on the ladies, maybe Stinkyfingers.
I think it's more likely that Anonymous attacked the Swiss bank because, like W, they can't keep Sweden and Switzerland straight.
"This can only end poorly." — gets my vote for a new Wonkette byline.
I would find being arrested for having sex with a woman who slept through it to be really embarrassing.
Or simply a blessing.
You've been warned, Osama, the World has no tolerance for finger-banging of consenting adult females. We have our standards.
Batman and Robin diplomatic cable leaks? Not news. Albino nerd bursts condom? Now that's news.
David Caruso approves. And Roger Daltrey.
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