About two-hundred years ago, our enemies The Rooskies put an alive dog in a space capsule and shot it into orbit, for laughs. Russians have a very dark sense of humor. But Americans — especially the kind of Americans who run things, in Washington — do not have any sense of humor at all. Instead of coming up with something even more ridiculous, like putting a cat in a submarine or setting Elvis Presley on fire, the Americans freaked out and said “Good Gravy we have got to also send some unwanted little creatures into space,” so they captured John Glenn and next thing you know Tom Wolfe was selling the movie rights to The Right Stuff and half a century later it’s almost impossible to remember that by the 21st Century we would most definitely have human space colonies all over the Solar System and mod orbital sex resorts. Anyway, Obama says today is our “Sputnik Moment,” even though that was pretty clearly 53 years ago. It’s like Obama doesn’t even know how to use Wikipedia, probably because he’s afraid it will leak all over the place.
The news websites are all posting some variation of this right now:
“In the race for the future, America is in danger of falling behind,” the president said in a speech at Forsyth Technical Community College in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. “If this is truly going to be our Sputnik moment, we need a commitment to innovation we haven’t seen since President Kennedy challenged us to go to the moon.”
Nice of him to drop by DeVry and let all these future Best Buy clerks know about the future, but “our Sputnik moment” still was a half century ago. We don’t need another Sputnik moment.
And Kennedy wasn’t president in 1957. Nor was he president when Sputniks 2 (the first one with the dog, the brave/sacrificial Laika), or 4 or 5 or 6 launched. (Sputnik 3 failed.)
It was the successful launch and orbit of Vostok 1 in April 1961 — with first-ever cosmonaut/astronaut Yuri Gagarin aboard — that pushed Kennedy to announce a manned moon landing by the end of the decade. So, it was a Vostok moment, not a Sputnik moment. Go to hell, Obama. (We are younger than you and lack your millions of dollars and Predator Drones to kill poor people and yet we know these things. But all you did as a child was watch teevee sitcom shows about idiots, and this is according to your autobiography.)
Anyway Obama wants the people at the community college to make some futuristic thing, maybe a talking dildo. It will save America, in its own peculiar way. [Bloomberg/AFP]
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Yeah but….
A talking dildo might also bite. You may want to rethink that one.
Might tell stories, too, also.
Don't worry, I'm not going to bite you.
I read the wiki on that. The phrase, "bites off his penis" is repeated about 5 times. Sounds like a helluva movie.
We already have a talking dildo. His name is Glenn Beck.
{throwing up in my mouth} He'll never be in my bedside table drawer, I can promise you that.
Isn't Beck more like a See N' Say dildo?
Anyway Obama wants the people at the community college to make some futuristic thing
Given the state of today's bible belt edjimakayshun system, most of them should probably be in community clown college.
"…so we better learn chinese or whatever them Indians speak if we want to steal their technology, cuz god knows we are not coming up with shit, since science gives the baby Jebus a sad, amirite?"
it's easy to steal stuff from Indians, since they all speak English.
And here I was thinking they spoke Indian.
Damn you Texian history textbooks!
Dot or feather? They gave us fits when we were stealing their country from them.
Didn't Sarah Palin's parents already make a talking dildo?
I'm pretty sure that was Todd's parents.
"America is in danger of falling behind…" It would be awful if that came about – other countries would have better educational systems, they'd imprison a smaller percentage of their people, they'd make sure their citizens got paid sick leave and vacation and they wouldn't let their people go broke or die just because they didn't have health insurance. Wow, let's make sure THAT never happens!
but, we have predator drones, so there!!
Considering how it worked out for the Brits, losing our status as world empire does not really seem like it should be that bad. Maybe we should just put our energies to make sure the Indians, and not the Chinese, are our successors.
Being like the Brits wouldn't be too bad – we've already got the drunken-louts-at-sporting-events thing down. If we can just get behind soccer we're there.
Maybe Obamer is searching for a good wake up peoplz metaphor cause the Prez had a spelunking moment after reading Tom Engelhardt's recent Tomgram on how the American Century is post toasties by 2025 – no cave allegories needed. The link is way tl/dr, and fucking depressing even if well written & accurate, so if you go there, do it after work with lots of alcohol and gunz available.
Ah, good ol' Prof. McCoy, the man who gave us "The abusive practices at Abu Ghraib are derivatives of Cold War era, CIA-developed interrogation techniques". Where would we get our depressing-est news/analysis but from him?
Chomsky, I guess.
I think McCoy beats Noamsky in depression, but some sorta ubber depression has to be at work for the D-rats to keep rolling over for the Repugs. I has a sad, even if we has 35 years left in the "Murican Century instead of 15. I'll be an optimist though and practice with the namaste rather than the 你想与该命令蛋卷?
I welcome our Indian overlords. My son-in-law is Indian, anyways, so my little family can just move there and avoid the Mad Max scenario here in the States, and bring the snark with us.
Saw that, it was like watching an Amy Goodman marathon FROM THE FUTURE. Who's ready for the food riots/violent separatist movements? That 2nd Amendment is about to come in handy, folks! WOLVERINES!
Shit I was doing OK until your comment – now I'm just depressed. I may need to go ahead and invest in some 2nd Amendment remedies, for Freedumb.
Then we have 15 years to begin the Atheist Agrarian Revolution. You only eat as long as you plant it and tend it — and you must also burn down a church.
Only one???
Two things: There's a lot of atheists, so quota rules apply.
Second, many churches are those types that take up abandoned strip malls next to the Goodwill. And they're one of the few charitable organizations I have respect for; they're actually doing the non-God's will better than the dickheads next door. No collateral damage allowed. Remember, to them, collateral damage is sacred.
If Jefferson was alive today, he would be so proud of you. If he didn't die in shock over what one of his Africans was doing in the presidential chambers. "I say Catullus, get thee back to thine field! But leave thy lady friend here, it would please me…"
That's the thing about the 'race for the future'. Everybody goes at the same speed: one day per day.
Unless they're traveling at an appreciable portion of the speed of light relative to each other, and those near very high gravity wells.
You're Michio Kaku, aren't you?
I wish, he's awesome; though I was a physics major in college – for about a month. The results of the first exam pretty much ended that.
I live in the shadow of my brother, who has his Ph.D. in said discipline.
But at least I don't have to call him doctor. (If he made me or our mother do that, we'd laugh in his face.)
I've got an idea; we can send out the first manned mission to the sun, Sarah Palin can be commander.
tecnically, that would be a "cunted mission," but it is still stellar, so to speak.
One small step or man, one giant leap for cuntkind…
Just tell her it'll be perfectly safe, since she'll land there at night.
Shes perfectly qualified, she can see the sun from her house.
It depends on how much they're willing to pay her.
Community college = 7 years that ends with an associates degree in General Studies.
General Studies? Did you mean gonorrhea?
Did it in 6. Nyah nyah.
a couple more centuries or so and we'll have starfleet officers in miniskirts. talking dildos might fit in well.
A Seattle station used to broadcast ancient scifi movies on Saturday afternoon. The futuristic missions all included women, in saucy dresses and carrying around trays of sandwiches. Futuristic, indeed.
Uhura!
And a century later, everyone will be wearing ill-fitting unitards that look like they would make going to the bathroom a real bitch, for both men and women. And they'll often reveal cameltoe on the women.
I dunno, I think we're headed for one of those futures with lots of deserts, mohawk-haired bikers, and battles over dwindling resources. And Mel Gibson won't be any fucking help, because he's traded the last of the V-8 Interceptors for an SS uniform.
If we can put one dog in space, why can't we put them all there?
Now if you made a cat joke- i'd be ok with that.
Fuck you, on behalf of all animal lovers. Send up some of those volunteers I heard about on NPR who wanted to volunteer for the one-way flight to Mars.
I know it's cruel to turtles, but I volunteer Mitch McConnell for one of those
one way buzzkills to Mars. Let him start fucking with a brave new world!
Yes!
Send Mitch McConnell. And his wife, Elaine Chao, if she wants to go. (She probably doesn't, but would support this mission.)
~
Now, now. I love animals (I'm even kept by one). But on behalf of all animal lovers, I invite you to live next to my neighbor's yappy little Pekinese for 24 hours.
Here's a (partial) list of stuff we could shoot directly into the sun, for, uh, science or something:
1) mosquitoes
2) all Palins except Michael
3) whoever draws/writes "Rose is Rose"
4) farmed salmon
5) Santorum, both kinds
please add/subtract as you feel inclined
The entire staff of Fox News, except for, umm, nobody..
Sweet pickles.
The doctors who publish studies "proving" that a vitamin will cure Alzheimer's/cancer/SAD.
Insurance company execs.
Newt Gingrich.
Racoons. The masked kind.
Evil p subtractors
The person who thought canning asparagus would be a good idea
Tom Delay
That one kid every couple of semesters who gives me a really bad evaluation hoping that he/she will get me fired.
I don't know if I want to shoot Joe Lieberman into outer space but I would to threaten him with it to see how he would react. Good times.
I believe the person to whom you refer in the second line was Candace Paragus.
Oh god, that's terrible.
Jizzum. Eight hundred pounds of freeze-dried jizzum. For god's sake, we're already 21 years BEHIND SCHEDULE for the Big Space Fuck.
Eric Cantor.
Mitch McConnell.
That Harley-ridding yuppie asshole at the end of the cul de sac who in three years has never once returned my wave.
The fleet of starships from Battlestar Galactica. Wait, they did that already.
All of this has happened before, and all of this would happen again, but the Republicans refuse to let it out of the Senate.
Tom Coburn
Jim DeMint
Michelle Bachman
Jon Kyl
Bill O'Reilly
Hayley Barbour
Carrot Top
Joan Collins
Andrew Lloyd Weber
Miller Lite
Rush (band and buffoon)
ski-dos
In my family tonight, it might be stepmothers who send the email to the wrong sister, the one who's being snarked about. That would be me, however, and I don't want to go, no matter what they want to do with the wicked stepmother.
Send John McCain up for 7-1/2 years.
Pentecostals – let's see how "on fire" they get about this.
Whoever came up with the concept of 'Lite Beer'.
We all know what this comes down to….
Flying cars.
Until we get our flying cars, I say that Obama should have a Predator Drone take out one engineering school a week. That will teach all those Indians and Chinese that come over here to study useful things.
We were promised flying cars, hoverboards and personal fusion reactors by 2015, dammit.
Now we have to settle for a Hoveround.
At last! A useful suggestion!
But now about adding a physics lab a week until they come up with Cold Fusion and/or Perpetual Motion?
Fuck that – let's turn lead into gold!
Done already. It's called "Sarah Palin."
No, wait. That's "Shit Into Shineola."
Never mind.
Muslins hate dogs, and Obama wants to kill dogs. Ergo, Obama is a muslin, QED. Also facto.
And, don't forget, he wants to do what Comrade Stalin did. Clearly, Obama is Hitler.
B-but Mr Beck, I don't understand. Didn't Hitler go to war against Stalin in 1939, renouncing their treaty when he started Operation Barbarossa and occupied the Sudetenland? If that's so, and if Stalin was a nominal communist while Hitler was a state capitalist, how can they be equated?
Don't be ridiculous. It was the National Socialist Party, and that's all there is to it.
Your reasoning is so impeccable … you must have been educated in Arizona.
Just jettison Phoenix. We already know what it feels like to be fried live
plus Jan Brewer will maintain her fresh beef jerky glow.
Free Baja Arizona!
"Anyway Obama wants the people at the community college to make some futuristic thing, maybe a talking dildo."
Um, one William Kristol is all I can handle, thank you.
Meanwhile, why Obama is waiting for our "Sputnik Moment", technicians at Kennedy Space Center are trying to screw up the Shuttle so they can make it through Christmas without a layoff notice. They did so well that the latest mission was delayed from November to February.
USA! USA!
Thanks for coming in today, Ken, and lowering the prevailing attitude of glee today on Wonkette. Interesting space monkey facts:
(1) There's a "research facility" at Holloman AFB, NM, where contaminated and mutated space monkeys and other creatures live out their days in desert isolation under the care of "scientists" from the U of NM. Neilist is probably the head caretaker.
(2) Space Monkey Able, after his intergalactic ordeal in 1957, lived to the ripe old monkey age of 27 in glamorous Hunstville AL.
Are you sure Neilist isn't one of the mutated monkeys?
You can ask him or her, right below!
I've got my Mutated Monkey right here in my pants for you, Smurfy!
Unless you're one of those Homo Smurfs. In which case, forget the whole thing, Mr. Gingrich.
And Able lived a full life too. He's said to have won a total of over $20,000 from Werner Von Braun playing Texas Stud and was a regular sit in with the Swampers, playing the bass usually.
Whenever Werner had a good hand, his right arm would twitch into a compulsive sieg heil salute. With a tell like that, he was an easy mark for everybody at Redstone.
Gut-bucket bass, right?
I'll be 27 feels a lot more like 57 in Huntsville, AL.
You Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM are WRONG AGAIN.
The Russians didn't launch Lakia into space.
The bitch was off her leash, taking a dump on Chuck Norris' lawn, and he round-house kicked her into Low Earth Orbit.
Would have reached escape velocity, but he was weighing his Low Earth Orbit kicking cowboy boots that day.
IF OBAMAR WANTED A REAL SPUTNIK MOMENT, HE'D SENT A CERTAIN TREASONOUS PORTUGUESE WATER DOG INTO SPACE RIGHT NOW. INSTEAD HE'S LETTING THE RUSKIES WIN.
…Bo is a spy for the ruskies, is what I'm saying.
NOBOBAMA.
Do you think that Santa will leave a "sputnik" in Obama's stocking? Maybe a warm and steamy one.
This is good news for John McCain, another really expensive flying machine that he can crash. Once a leader, . . .
It's about fucking time we rescued poor Major Tom.
I'm happy, hope you're happy too.
We also need to visit Mars, to study the native spiders.
His circuit's dead, there's something wrong.
I thought we were sending old astronauts to die on Mars or something.
I can't keep up with these space death panels.
They wanted the old astronauts because they had a low sperm count. Now, in the last week, they've solved the Low-T problem and they are all back at it, reproducing too also.
My head hurts. Leave my dog alone. I hate you.
we already invented olive garden. What else do we need to do?
As a former olive garden cook/server/everything let me just say we are far from the pinnacle of technological achievement there
Where are my p points? In fact, what are these p points?
Whore yourself for followers, that's what I do. Got me one more pee this week. And wonkeratti demanding to know when the orgy begins. Wonkeratti who haven't seen my 62 year old body, that is.
Haha!Then I know that you are fabulous in everyway.
So it's having stalkers? Why can't we just have the Communists phone in points for us like the Teaparty does for DWTS? I'll give you a dribble.
So if I make a comment I get back a p point?
Ha ha, the ways of the p-point are not discernible to mere mortals. Once I had 98-p. Once (as a few old timers here may remember) the official exchange rate between piastre and MPC was 435-p to $1, but you could do better with US Green down on Tu Do Street, or in Hundred P Alley.
Now, the batteries in my Rascal are dead again. Please roll me down to the teevee room.
95 p points. No tax cut for you!
P points are like trans-generational wealth and insanely lavish tax cuts granted by an impoverished government: they flow naturally toward those who deserve them.
Good to know. So I must put all my years of Whore Diamonds into a big pickup truck and invest them in safe mutual funds? Or can I just buy more gold bangles?
I have no idea what that was all about, but I'm laughing out loud, all the same. Ah, a new member of the august rank of the wonkeratti tried to understand the inscrutable calculation of pees.
Forget it, Dusty. It’s Saigon. (As in child-diddler Polanski’s great movie “Chinatown”)
I love movie references, but I might have missed that, referencing Saigon and all. And I still am a Polanski fan. I wish he would do a Jack the Ripper movie. That thing he did to Jake's nose was a good start.
There. P on you.
Oh thank you. P on you too cutie. I love the beard.
Harappan. Or Mohenjo Daro. I forget.
You must have missed the earlier discussions of the Great P Massacre of last Tuesday. 11/30, Nevar Forget!
it was an inside job.
Whenever Ken is bored or pissed off, I think he fucks with the pees. This means none of our pees are safe.
Visualize whirled pees…
I just want to take this moment to point out that if you had done the smart thing, and invested your green-yellow pee diamonds in Goldline commemorative souvenir medallions, then
FDRKen Layne couldn't take them from you. I know, because I heard it from Glenn Beck, and he has a red prop phone, which means he can't lie about anything.Oh here we are. Good I'll just buy more gold bangles and some earrings. I 'm following you now because Dustbowl told me to and anyway it's going to be easy because I think we are neighbors more or less. So be on the lookout for some one walking behind you.
Oh I see it all clearly now. I've been away as they sometimes call it.
"America is in danger of falling behind…"? I hate to break the news, but the Chinese and lots of others are kicking our asses night and day, but at least the millionaires and billionaires will be able to afford new Bentleys next year thanks to the extension of the rich man's tax cuts. No amount of talking up community college is going to fix that. We are officially a banana republic fulls of retards who will vote over and over to slash their own throats.
And we cannot permit ourselves a debtor-imprisoned retard gap!!!!
Yeah, but we have pees. For depressing, by the way, I recommend Kevin Phillips "American Theocracy." The American empire is toast. Empires never realize they're being eclipsed until they're eating someone else's dust. And not the kind we have down here.
Seriously! That book should come with a loaded gun so you can just
blow your brains out at the end.
Not exactly.
If we just watch our balance we can fall ahead instead if fall behind.
I learned that in gymnastics, which I took instead of math.
The year 2010 would only qualify as our Sputnik moment if, when Sputnik was launched, Americans took to the airwaves to describe space as boring, a jobs-killer, and possibly communist, demanded the we curb the deficit by freezing highway construction, and cut the evening news so Milton Berle could go on for several hours.
You know who's in space? Europe. Old Europe.
Few know that Paul Winchell, famed voice of Tigger and Knuckhead Smith, not only invented the artificial heart but also experimented with the talking dildo. Unfortunately, his subject's lips kept moving.
So how far into space will the $17.35 our nation can spare carry us?
Why do I hear that dildo speaking with Sarah Palin's voice?
You have just invented the perfect Xmas gift for teabagger men. Patent it quick, before Rupert Murdoch steals your idea.
Well we have two years to enjoy how well this heavy to elephant lard Teatard burrito passes though America's alimentary canal. Likely the bad gas won't be able to launch Barry's sputnik. In fact the foul hot air will be suffering though will likely be the least of the problems.
I hear golfing is great over in Alpha Centauri, and with two suns it's always tee time. Can we send Mr. Sneaker Boner and his
whipbitch Erik Cantor on a junket?????Maybe to Bagram. I hear it's crisp there, this time of year.
And not a lot of rain-outs.
We are falling behind , we need to send something into space ASAP. My vote is for the whitepride aryan toddler.
I heard there's no socialized medicine in outer space. Perhaps Rush should consider there rather than Costa Rica. Such a launch would also prove our space superiority, as no other nation has managed to put so much ass into their astronaut program.
Then we'd pollute space with Oxytonin, Viagra, and pedoporn…don't you care about Our Universe?
I'm American. I haven't cared about ANYTHING since those Chinese Jew Hollywood Bastards canceled Archie Bunker. I'm just going to sit here in my bunker, sucking down cans of Ensure and waiting for the end-times.
*burp*..Ensure, sound suspiciously commie since that's a diet drink. I gulp down 100% pure corn syrup and watch straight 12 hrs of Wifeswap. I am America.
Wrong again, Ken. This is our Sputnik (2) moment, in that we are little puppy dogs being launched into space with no chance of survival.
Today we are all Laika. Woof.
In the '50's Amerikans were shocked that there was something in which this country might not be leading the world..
That sense of affront may be hard to replicate since about the only things we lead the way in now is, hmmm, uh, uh…nothing comes to mind…maybe scooter riders per household?
I think we also have more Starbucks and McDonalds than any other country. GO,AMERICA!
Okies already are ahead of the rest of the world in the number of women who are incarcerated. If anyone did a study, I think we'd also be number one in teenage pregnancy (abstinence!) and heart disease (chicken fries!).
Dipshits per precint. Also.
We have the most reality shows!
Maybe NASA should finally tell us the big secret: that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.
Is this the Apollo-Style green jobs program that Vice President Van Jones used to talk about? Yay! Rockets powered by green tax cuts for billionaires!!
ok, ok, ok. We give. Give up. Done. Stop.
diamond whore win for concise compression.
Can't stop, don't wanna stop. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAXXdrUXxME
In the new sitcom, "Mr. Head," mild-mannered Wilbur's dildo talks to him only when no on else is around.
Sounds somewhat derivative of that old Warner Brothers classic, "One Dildo-ey Evening," starring Michigan J. Dildo.
"In the capsule stands a boxer, and a fighter to his name;
and he carries the reminder of every launch that squished
to the capsule's frame til he cried out in his mange;
I am leaving, I am leaving but the boxer still remains;
he still remains"
Ooh, that cross eyed black Republican is on Rachel's show, except it's Ed tonight. Three people screaming over the tax cuts. I would have given mine up in a nanosecond, just to keep the rich from getting anymore of the Chinese and Saudi's respective sovereign monetary accounts.
Wish I had cable — I'd be happy to scream at Republicans, cross-eyed or otherwise. Taxes are are fucking entry fee for society. Higher taxes and fewer wars, not the other way 'round, assholes! It's 8am on a Tuesday and I'm still pissed at Monday. Shit.
I'm convinced Ron Christie (that's his name, right?) is a payed character actor. No one can be that big of a sell-out.
It's good to have the future, since we're behind.
Sorry to break it to the young whippersnappers, but there was a big push for science/engineering education in, oh, about Late Nineteen-Fifty-Freaking-Seven under Great Grandpa Ike. National Defense Student Loans and a whole crash program of throwing federal money at our Sputnik Envy Issues. Kennedy just ramped it up later with the whole Scott Glenn/Ed Harris/Tom Hanks/Kevin Bacon thing.
Yeah, that's pretty well known, all of that. But Obama was specifically talking about Kennedy and the moon shot, which sure as hell wasn't the "Sputnik moment," as I pretty clearly typed in the post above.
I suppose it could've been a 9/11 type of thing where it was 9/11 (Sputnik) for many years, but I doubt it, because it wasn't.
The graduate school course I took that changed my view of the world more than anything was called "Science Technology and Public Policy" and, while sounding dry, as interesting as hell.
I learned the difference of pure science where they just fuck around them come up with something phenomenal from technology, where they have a particular and practical (i.e. can make money for corporations) mission. Pure science can make the discoveries that benefit technology, but technology is a greedy bitch and doesn't reciprocate. We threw the money at the scietists and said, just get it . We don't care how. Just get it, the way we did the atom bomb. No one is willing to do that again. Because we don't believe in science in this country anymore.
We don't want scientists. We want people to figure out how to make scooters easier to manipulate and toilets easier to clean. Oh, and weapons, Lots of weapons.
Oops, there goes the Lunesta again. Nitey, losers.
Maybe Americans would pay closer attention if it was called "Dancing With Sputnik". Or perhaps, "Sputnik With Gravy".
It seems Barry will talk about anything just to get our minds off the fact that we are circling the fucking drain.
Perhaps Barry will extend unemployment benefits but then send them into
space. Sorry, ya'll. The Teatards made me do it!!
I am sorry to say nothing would surprise me at this point.
A blond-haired white girl has been missing for 90 minutes!
Squirrel!
Call out the National Guard, go to DefCon One, Alert All Media!
It's about time for one of those, huh? That, or a shark attack.
Read "Weight: The Myth of Atlas and Heracles" by noted lesbian authoress and generally brilliant human person Jeanette Winterson.
I will spoil it enough by saying that in the last sentence or two Laika stays brave but is not quite so doomed. You will have a tear in your eye and a lump in your throat when you finish it–unless you are a crazed right winger who got his dick chopped off when he tried to stick it in to the wrong little boy.
Wait a minute. Remember when Barry was our boyfriend?
Well goodbye. I'm going to watch TEEVEE with V572625694 because heshe is rich and has wheels.
Damn straight. What time does "Two and a Half Men" come on?
Include "My Toddler is a God Damn Hoarder" , and I'll bring the pizza pockets and Hawaiian Punch.
Our 'Sputnik moment' involves a race to educate SOMEONE in our country not to listen to media blow-hards, believe half-truths peddled by shills, believers in idiotic myth-worship, or basically anyone who claims to 'know the truth', believe in 'fundamental values', or ANYONE who issues a state containing any of the following:
"What they don't want you to know about…"
"The hidden history of…"
"The Politically Incorrect Guide to…"
"Hillary–…"
"…Freemasons…"
"…Secret…"
For a time we were ahead of the Middle East and some Asian countries in this regard but we've fallen behind, due to a reliance on television, talk radio, and high fructose corn syrup.
The best we can hope for is that our dog in space dies quietly and doesn't upset the children, PETA, or those folks who believe in American Exceptionalism.
Can’t we send cats? They’re already worthless.
Can't we send cats instead? They're already worthless.
"So, it was a Vostok moment, not a Sputnik moment. Go to hell, Obama."
I was drinking grape juice while reading this, got to this line, and for some strange reason, almost lost it all over my monitor.
Instead of coming up with something even more ridiculous, like putting a cat in a submarine or setting Elvis Presley on fire…
But we did set Michael Jackson on fire that one time, though. Also Richard Pryor. That was pretty cool, right?
Too soon? (the Pryor part)
Danger, Will Robinson. Danger!
In 1955, dogs singing Jingle Bells become a hit record.
In 1957, the first animal to orbit the earth was a dog.
In 1965, the first song played in outer space was Jingle Bells.
no point at all
So Barry is having a sputnik moment. Well, you knoiw what "Sputnik" means, don't ya? "Fellow Traveler." I'm just sayin…
And I wouldn't worry about a new "Brain Drain." We have some of the greatest minds on the planet here in the States. It's just they're working on erection pills and financial instruments instead of heavy-lift vehicles and efficient mass transit.
It's so very lonely, you're a thousand light years from home
Hey, we set Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson on fire. Surely that counts for something!
Cut Barry some slack on the details. He was probably being too cool to sweat the specifics. Also, he was busy caving in to the Repugs once again. How can you concentrate on details when you are selling the farm, your soul and your sister down the river. Also.
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