Chuck Norris has a personal pastor for all of his various organization, because, well, karate needs pastors, of course. But when that pastor visited Independence Hall in Philadelphia to learn about the religion of our nation's founding fathers, he instead was led on a tour by a guide who, rudely, only talked about the Constitution and forming a republic and the Liberty Bell and such. But doesn't the National Park Service, which oversees the historic site, know that Christianity is the most important aspect of everything that is good in the world, such as white men like the founding fathers? Sounds like those pine-tree jockeys need some sense uppercutted into them.
If there's one thing Chuck cares about, besides Jesus, it's context:
Last week, I detailed seven occasions in the past few months at which President Obama omitted the words "by their Creator" from direct quotes of the Declaration of Independence
WHAM!
Recently, my pastor and the chaplain of my organizations, Todd DuBord, was on a tour of Independence Hall with David Barton, Jim Garlow and dozens of others. When the National Park Service guide leading their group blurted out five unbelievable lies and distortions about our founders' religious beliefs and history, with school-aged children present as well in the room:
"We have no record that George Washington ever attended church."
While the NPS guide physically hunched over, mimicked and mocked one carrying and swinging an oversized Bible in his hand, he said to the crowd: "Even if I said the founders were Christians, how could we really know? Just because people carry a big ol' Bible in their hand, they can still be atheists!"
"Most of these men owned slaves. How could good Christians do that?"
"We know that Benjamin Franklin was a deist."
"We don't really know for sure about their religion. It's open for interpretation. You'll have to do your own study on that."
With school-aged children there. All of them quickly ripped off their Benjamin Franklin t-shirts, threw down their George Washington lunchboxes, and changed the Aaron Burr ringtones on their cell phones. How could it be? Some of these men had questioned faith in the official religion of the society they left behind? CHILDHOOD INNOCENCE RUINED FOREVER.
As we all know, the founding fathers devoted approximately 99% of their lives to being good Christians. The other 1%, when they were simultaneously relieving themselves in the chamber pot, was when they set up a new country and kicked a worldwide trend toward liberal democracy into gear. Sorry, roundhouse -kicked a worldwide trend toward Jesus democracy into gear. [ WND ]
I say, if you understood that commonsense conservative pee-values supports the right of individuals like you, like all of us, to live our lives with less government interference and more independence, you would embrace our lesbian canard faster than Margaret Cho in a Subaru dealership.
We all got pee point hosed. I had literally hundreds of millions of points suddenly disappear faster than Lehman Brothers bottom line.