• May 27, 2012

American Muslims Now Just Assume Any Extremist Is a Harmless FBI Agent

by Jack Stuef  9:40 am December 6, 2010

'So, you guys work out? Nice pecs.'America loves fighting terrorists so much, it likes to create as many as it can so it can keep on fighting. And that is annoying American Muslims, who cannot go about their day worshipping God without being annoyed by at least one FBI agent trying to lure them into joining jihad. One such agent, Craig Monteilh, an ex-con who did the job for “$177,000, tax-free, in 15 months,” until too many Muslims reported him to the FBI, says that the FBI told him his job was to infiltrate mosques and date Muslim women because “Islam is a threat to our national security.” At this point, American Muslims just have to assume that anyone talking about extremism works for the FBI, is trying to entrap them and is best left ignored. Hooray for making us less safe and trying to impede people from exercising their freedom of religion!

Monteilh did not like that he lost his job after it had become too obvious what was happening, and the FBI decided they needed new blood. They were worried that their ex-employee would go to the media, so they had him sign a non-disclosure agreement, in exchange for $25,000 in cash. But Monteilh went to jail soon after, because he was a goddamn ex-con and did a little grand-theft, so he apparently no longer cares about said agreement.

FBI tactics were already a sensitive issue at the Irvine mosque, a stucco, two-story building that draws as many as 2,000 people for Friday prayers. With tensions rising between law enforcement and Muslims over allegations of FBI surveillance, J. Stephen Tidwell, then head of the FBI’s Los Angeles office, spoke at the mosque in June 2006.

“If we’re going to mosques to come to services, we will tell you,” he said, according to a video of his speech. “. . . The FBI will tell you we’re coming for the very reason that we don’t want you to think you’re being monitored. We would come only to learn.”

Guess which mosque Monteilh secretly infiltrated and surveilled. JUST GUESS.

Worshipers noticed that Monteilh often left his keys around the mosque, said Hussam Ayloush, executive director of the Los Angeles chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, who speaks often at the mosque.

“It seemed strange to people,” Ayloush said.

Inside the car remote on the bundle of keys was a microphone that recorded Muslims at the mosque, in their homes and at a local gym. Monteilh, who told people he was a fitness trainer, used the gym to seek out Muslim men.

Your tax dollars are paying ex-cons to track down American Muslims, try to teach them Tae-Bo, and attempt to give them cars and money to accept fake bombs. Congratulations. [WP]

{ 88 comments }

SorosBot December 6, 2010 at 9:48 am

And the spirit of COINTELPRO lives on, and J. Edgar Hoover smiles up from hell.

Buzz Feedback December 6, 2010 at 9:48 am

"Abdul set me up … I shouldn't have come up here … goddamn Abdul!"

charlesdegoal December 6, 2010 at 9:49 am

Wasn't there a time, albeit long ago, when the FBI provided the Communist Party USA with the gist of its dues-paying members? As Casey Stengel would say, does anyone around here know how to play this game?

Terry December 6, 2010 at 9:51 am

Are you suggesting that the mosques in question should figure out how to use the undercover FBI agents as steady sources of income?

Terry December 6, 2010 at 9:49 am

"One such agent, Craig Monteilh, an ex-con who did the job for “$177,000, tax-free, in 15 months,” until too many Muslims reported him to the FBI, says that the FBI told him his job was to infiltrate mosques and date Muslim women because “Islam is a threat to our national security.” "

Did the FBI finally run out of super clean cut, extremely repressed, non-felon, true believers to fill it's ranks? As bad as those guys can be, I'm kind of hoping they move back in that direction.

ttommyunger December 6, 2010 at 9:50 am

As I've said repeatedly since the first time I heard it in the 60's; "The three most overrated things in the world: Home Cooking, Home Fucking and the FBI."

the_onceler December 6, 2010 at 9:51 am

Ain't this country awesome?

Lascauxcaveman December 6, 2010 at 11:04 am

What the hell, I'll say it: "DEATH TO AMERICA!!!"

the_onceler December 6, 2010 at 11:06 am

Keep on Rockin' in the Free World.

GeorgiaBurning December 6, 2010 at 2:00 pm

If you don't like the terrorist news, go out and make some of your own

Texan_Bulldog December 6, 2010 at 9:53 am

This dude went to a lot of trouble just to date brown women. I'm sure eHarmony has a 'prefers Muslim women' checkbox.

HistoriCat December 6, 2010 at 10:17 am

But eHarmony isn't paying anyone $177,000 (tax free!) to date brown women.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Au contraire. How do you think Dr. Neil Clark Warren is acquiring his amateur fetish porn?

GOPCrusher December 6, 2010 at 1:53 pm

From what I've heard, a Muslim has as much of a chance of getting on eHarmony as a black man being elected the Grand Wizard of The Ku Klux Klan.

Serolf_Divad December 6, 2010 at 9:53 am

While it's not true that all Muslims are terrorists, it is true that nearly all Muslim terrorists are FBI moles.

charlesdegoal December 6, 2010 at 10:02 am

I don't want to go all French on you, but *agent provocateur* would probably be a more appropriate term.

DashboardBuddha December 6, 2010 at 10:21 am

I bet the ladies love it when you go all French. ;-)

Serolf_Divad December 6, 2010 at 10:24 am

Did you even bother to take the Galoise out of your mouth before you said that , Mr. Francy pants!?

prommie December 6, 2010 at 10:29 am

I bet he calls his carhole a "garage."

PsycWench December 6, 2010 at 9:54 am

So Monteilh had to date Muslim women because of national security? That's interesting. I wonder what he told his girl/boyfriend?
In other news, I need to have creme brulee and capuccino for breakfast, served by a muscular young half-naked man, for national security.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 6, 2010 at 9:57 am

You are a true patriot.

MildMidwesterner December 6, 2010 at 9:54 am

"date Muslim women"

I have a package that's about to explode…. in my pants.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 10:11 am

I'm using that one.

HistoriCat December 6, 2010 at 10:18 am

Would recommend not trying it out while being groped by the TSA.

SorosBot December 6, 2010 at 10:31 am

Geoff Petersen, is that you? If so it's good to see another robot around here.

MildMidwesterner December 6, 2010 at 10:50 am

I do now know this Mr. Peterson of whom you speak, nor why he misspells "Jeff."

SorosBot December 6, 2010 at 11:23 am

Because he was named by a Scotsman, and: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoff_Petersen

WIDTAP December 6, 2010 at 11:01 am

It's a great day in America.

MissTaken December 6, 2010 at 11:39 am

No exploding package for Geoff, it's still tied up in customs

PublicLuxury December 6, 2010 at 9:56 am

The FBI needs to drop by the local community college and take a another class on sneaky. This, we're not monitoring you accept they are is getting really, really old. Besides the only people that fall for that are retards, aka, conservatives.

Mr. Bank Vault Manager guy, I'm not robbing you I am just removing the money for safe keeping. All is well. All is well

Chet Kincaid December 6, 2010 at 9:57 am

The United Stasi Of America, Federal Bureau of Incompetence.

natoslug December 6, 2010 at 9:57 am

How much do they pay to date Latinas? I hear they're the new brown, and I'm willing, for God, Country and a paycheck, to infiltrate Salma Hayek.

HistoriCat December 6, 2010 at 10:19 am

The FBI doesn't care about them. Try talking to Immigration or Border Patrol.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 10:21 am

ICE ICE baby.

bagofmice December 6, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Too cold. Too cold.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 12:38 pm

You know what's cold? The Ross Robinson produced re-recording of that legendary single.

natoslug December 6, 2010 at 10:24 am

But Salma's a two-fer: Not only is the Mexican half of her trying to steal our best lawn-mowing and lettuce jobs, but her Lebanese half wants to blow us all up. She's the perfect sleeper agent! I know this for a fact because every straight guy and bi girl I know would love to sleep with her.

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 10:16 pm

"Sleeper agent"

Well played, sir or madam; well played.

prommie December 6, 2010 at 10:31 am

I would so infiltrate that! Shakira, too, very infiltrate-able.

the_onceler December 6, 2010 at 11:09 am

She's also half Arab and half Latina.

prommie December 6, 2010 at 11:39 am

There is something about that combination, rare as it is, yet, behold the results, in these two, Salma, and Shakira.

Chet Kincaid December 6, 2010 at 11:11 am

I volunteer to thoroughly surveil and disarm J-Lo's rear hatch. If an explosion is imminent, I will bravely jump on it.

natoslug December 6, 2010 at 11:20 am

For the troops, for the children (as they are our future, such as) or just for the sheer joy of patriotism? Personally, I'd do it to keep the dream (that 40-something white guys still have options) alive.

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 10:17 pm

Speaking of Selma, and I the only one that thinks her BFF, Penelope Cruz, looks like a duck? I mean, a sexy duck as sexy ducks go, but still very much a duck.

V572625694 December 6, 2010 at 9:58 am

Okay, inducing/entrapping dubious muslins to talking about terrorist attacks, and then arresting them, may not reduce the number of terrorist attacks. It might even increase that number. But it's really, really good for the performance ratings of the FBI agents who "capture" (entrap) all these "terrorists" (losers looking for a quick buck). So what's the problem?

True story: on 11 September 2001, one office of the FBI had a picture of Mohammed Atta they wanted to get to another office. In the Year of Our Lord 2001, the Federal Bureau of Investigation had no electronic way to do this.

It's hard to understand the way the FBI can keep both its own monstrous incompetence and its enormous self-regard in its collective head at the same time. They probably would've been Wikileaked by now, except they don't have their email working yet.

SorosBot December 6, 2010 at 10:11 am

Entrapping these losers is also very good for being able to make the announcement, "Hey we've caught another terrorist! See, the FBI is good at its job, and America is just filled with Muslim terrorists, so be very afraid and you totally need to let the TSA look at your naked body!"

slappypaddy December 6, 2010 at 9:58 am

the fbi: full-blooded incompetence, getting it wrong till somebody gets it right,

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 10:13 am

Is it any surprise Louis Freeh was the Republicans's favourite in the Clinton Administration?

Further, that Janet Reno loathed him, & likewise, the GOP loathed her?

(Full disclosure: Janet Reno is my favourite Executive Officer in my lifetime.)

marinmaven December 6, 2010 at 10:00 am

This reminds me of all the incompetence with trying to take Castro out. It is amazing that we are not the laughing stock of the entire world…oh, wait.

ManchuCandidate December 6, 2010 at 10:00 am

Self licking ice cream cone.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2010 at 10:02 am

"…used the gym to seek out Muslim men."

Shoulda tried Craigslist.

AntonovBureau December 6, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Is there a way to go to the gym and not seek out Muslim men? Once you go brown, you can't resist the temptation

user-of-owls December 6, 2010 at 10:02 am

Sufi-heads.

Badonkadonkette December 6, 2010 at 10:04 am

Craig Monteilh, an ex-con who did the job for “$177,000, tax-free, in 15 months

I went to school for 20 years, earn about half what this guy made, and pay taxes. Stupid me, I should have just gone to jail.

CZL December 6, 2010 at 10:45 am

Doesn't that just make you so mad? Doesn't that just make you… want to commit an act of international terrorism?

(Note: this message may be from an undercover FBI agent, for quality assurance purposes.)

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Well, I'm not sure sporadic-to-regular prison-rape is worth $177,000 tax-free dollars, but to each his or her own, I guess.

SorosBot December 6, 2010 at 11:40 pm

At first, I read this as Cory Monteith, who's the boring, dumb-but-nice guy on Glee.

Negropolis December 7, 2010 at 1:24 am

If you've ever seen interviews with the guy in reality, he's just as dumb-but-nice. Let's just say he's not character-acting in that role. lol

user-of-owls December 6, 2010 at 10:06 am

Speaking of paranoids and the people that love them, I got a nice chuckle out of this morning's Number One Most Read story on Fox:

Visited Porn? Browser Flaw Secretly Bares All

HempDogbane December 6, 2010 at 10:08 am

Remember that W only kept one agency/cabinet holdover from Clinton: Judge Whatshisname, the head of the FBI, because the Judge hated Clinton. Eventually he had to go and was replaced by Mueller, because the Judge was so obviously incompetent it embarrassed even W, impossible as it is to imagine. Maybe the Judge could come back to restore the reputation of the FBI.

V572625694 December 6, 2010 at 10:17 am

My favorite Louis Freeh moment was the press conference where he personally announced his greatest success at spy-catching: Robert Hanssen, who was the FBI's own chief of counterintelligence. It's like having a press conference to announce your wife has been sleeping with the mailman, and all your kids are not really yours.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 10:23 am

Norman Mineta is hurt by this.

Secretaries of Transportation are people, too!

HempDogbane December 6, 2010 at 10:28 am

I defer to the gentleperson with 81p.

V572625694 December 6, 2010 at 10:39 am

You might want to re-think that assertion if you were to read anything from the incumbent Secretary of Pure Pork, Ray "La" Hood. A stone idiot, and in a neck-and-neck race with Janet "Na" Palitano for the Stupidest Cabinet Member title.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 10:40 am

What kind of piercing is a "La"?

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 10:23 pm

I thought Ray was going to be a total disaster, but the guy is good at handing out transit money, and I definitely appreciate that here in the Great Lakes. His's as dumb as a box of rocks, but damnit if this Republican isn't trigger-happy with the doling out of the national purse.

Napolitano is definitely a dud of a pick, and worst yet, picking her put jan Brewer in power. I don't know what the hell Obama was thinking with that one. Actually, a lot of his cabinet is something less than stellar, and the ones that are stellar are regulated to administration closets. I mean, where the hell is Steven Chu lately? Honestly, has anyone seen him? They probably need to go check on the poor guy to make sure he's still among the living.

weejee December 6, 2010 at 10:12 am

SorosBot is spot-on over the Hoooover sucking sound in this clandestine operation. Back in the 60s when the FeeBees were trying to infiltrate those despicable peacenik hippies, Opus' favorite flaming queen would not give on part of the FBI dress code. So the FeeBs grew long hair, beards, wore tattered jeans with flags sown on the ass, but wore their sandals with over-the-calf stockings held securely in place by menz sock garters. Obs no one noticed 'cause the FBI is just so smooth when they are being sneakie-poo.

charlesdegoal December 6, 2010 at 10:19 am

Another reason no one noticed has to do with substance abuse.

BaldarTFlagass December 6, 2010 at 10:21 am

Needz moar Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

DashboardBuddha December 6, 2010 at 10:22 am

Spy vs Spy fail

lumpenprole December 6, 2010 at 10:29 am

This is needlessly complicated. Just waterboard them all and see who admits to being a terrorist. Probably find a mess of them, for America. It would create a lot of jobs and … brb, getting tased.

Guppy06 December 6, 2010 at 10:30 am

How many Wonkette commenters are FBI infiltrators?

HempDogbane December 6, 2010 at 10:38 am

How many are not?

Guppy06 December 6, 2010 at 10:48 am

In hindsight, the real question is how many editors are FBI infiltrators.

horsedreamer_1 December 6, 2010 at 10:49 am

Where do you think Layne got the money to buy-out Nick Denton?

lumpenprole December 6, 2010 at 10:42 am

And what do they pay these agents to spend all day here laughing and getting drunk? I'd rather infiltrate chicks for my country, but this would be a cool gig.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 6, 2010 at 10:46 am

Ha ha ha, that's very snarky of you, Guppy! Teh buttsechs is good news for John McCain!!!!1! We are not infiltrators, no siree, just a fun bunch of liberal, oversexed alcoholics with potty mouths! We wear these socks and garters only for hipster ironic reasons, for freedom! Also.

SorosBot December 6, 2010 at 11:25 am

Certainly not me. By the way, this news really pisses me off; doesn't it really make you angry too? Maybe even angry enough to go blow something up in protest?

jus_wonderin December 6, 2010 at 5:48 pm

I've got about $177,000 of mad on the boil.

Chet Kincaid December 6, 2010 at 10:40 am

Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to send in guys who act like they'd be willing to take someone ELSE up on an offer of joining their "legit" terrorist cell? Otherwise you're just arresting a bunch of dumb potential foot soldiers, while the real guys keep fuckin' that mission.

WigFlipper December 6, 2010 at 11:00 am

My eyes are rolling straight out of their sockets.

Mindblank December 6, 2010 at 11:02 am

I fear the FBI and their l33t Pimpx0rz agents.

MinAgain December 6, 2010 at 11:40 am

I leave my keys lying around my house of worship all the time, so I could work as a covert FBI agent, too. Assuming the FBI suspects the Episcopalians are up to something.

TanzbodenKoenig December 6, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Haha, 'Episcopalian Extremists,' that's not something you hear about every day.

jus_wonderin December 6, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I used to get Extreme-ly anxious when we'd pass the peace.

XOhioan December 6, 2010 at 5:14 pm

There's an article on this mook in the OC Weekly: http://www.ocweekly.com/2009-04-30/news/craig-mon...

He just flat out made up shit; even his handlers thought he was lying. And, his chatter about jihad freaked out the mosque so much that they got a restraining order. Good job, feds. GOOD FUCKING JOB.

simplyblue7 December 6, 2010 at 7:25 pm

another reason why not to date FBI agents.

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 10:24 pm

The FBI is the retarded brother of the CIA.

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