ha ha, The Great Compromise of 2010

  • Senate Republicans foolishly blocked tax cuts for ninety-eight percent of Americans on Saturday, giving Democrats perhaps their greatest legislative victory to date — because now they have the perfect bargaining chip. Yes. Everybody is laughing at Mitch McConnell and all the other spineless Republicans who might compromise their family values and agree to “temporarily extend Bush-era tax cuts for all Americans, along with unemployment benefits that have expired.” Suckers! What a bad deal, for them. (Only twenty-six percent of Americans want all the Bush tax cuts to be extended. One-hundred percent of people who don’t want unemployment benefits to be extended are assholes.) Democrats win! [AP/The Caucus/CNN]
  • The drug-fueled Mexican Civil War is as bad as you thought, according to those leaked diplomatic cables. [McClatchy]
  • Iran is having a friendly Nuclear Threat Q&A session with a bunch of other countries in Geneva. We thought that Julian Assange destroyed diplomacy forever? Hillary lied to us. [CSM]
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  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Well, this is a good time to be rich.

    • DashboardBuddha

      It's always a good time to be rich…this is one of the better ones though.

    • And the last bad time 2B rich in 'Murica wuz??

      • V572625694

        Maybe in Dubya-Dubya-Two, when the top tax rate was 93% or some such. That lasted until 1961 or so. One hears there were many shelters to protect our delicate Riches, though, from the cold hard rain of taxation. Thank goodness those hard times are over.

        • Negropolis

          Those poor rich folks. Forced to actually sacrifice to fight a war or two. I know, the audacity, right? Instead of living lavish lives as millionaries, they were forced to live slightly less lavish lives as upper-middle class Americans. The horrors!

    • Mindblank

      We shall always be rich … in bitter snark.

      • If not in pee-based currency.

        • Mindblank

          I've developed a philosophy: the Zen of Pee.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Watching Democrats negotiate with Republicans always reminds me of Charlie Brown practicing punting with Lucy van Pelt. I don't know why that is.

    • LeAlbatross

      I don't think it's that positive, really. They aren't even promising to hold the ball.

      And it's not just Obama; it's the congressional Dems. It's like we've elected the Keystone Kops. Repeatedly. First we had to deal with Lieberman, now this. Did we tick off some old woman in a caravan?

      • Terry

        The Republican version of bipartisanship is the Dems doing everything the Republicans' want, at the threat of the Republicans having Fox News talk badly about them.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Because Lucy's a tease & the Republicans are dicks.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Place kicking, actually…

  • freakishlywrong

    Good. Two years of watching hateful, lying goblins all over the media spreading Republican talking points and having the very middle class they've told to suck it vote them in to a majority. And that was the LAST two years. The upcoming should be be like having to apologize for consistent ass raping and begging to pay for your rape kit.

    • mavenmaven

      Sarah Palin is already working on that last point, literally.

      • V572625694

        Rape victims always really want it anyway.

        The rape test kit, that is. So the conservative thing to do is make them pay for it.

        • jim89048

          There's that invisible hand, again.

  • SorosBot

    Well, the fact the American people voted to give the Republicans a few more Senate seats but still keep them in the minority obviously means that they should get everything they want in the Senate.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Our only consolation to any Teatards being seated is that we have a two year record to hold against them, and the Establishment which bred and encouraged them.

      Senator Paul. . .it's just wrong to even say in the head.

      • natoslug

        But the President will still be black and a Democrat. As long as either of those two facts remain, the record doesn't seem to matter. Hell, there could be zero Dems in congress and one in the senate, and this so-called record would still be the Evil Dems Greatest Hits. Somewhere along the way, our idea of compromise was replaced with servitude, and it sucks. Fucking Reid. Fucking all of them, actually. I'm really fucking tired of tough talk and total capitulation. My only hope at this point is that instead of electing invertebrates, we'll start electing sociopaths. Just one devoted cannibal in the halls of Conress could do so much good . . .

        • Guppy06

          Except the crazies are running Green or Socialist Workers or some such, and we can't vote for them, because then a Republican might win! We have to vote for the guy that will give Republicans everything they want, or else!

  • deanbooth

    This is a victory for bipartisanship, just like the three-fifths-of-a-person rule.

    • horsedreamer_1

      David Broder just ejaculated, & he doesn't know why.

      But all is right with the Force.

  • Serolf_Divad

    When I was in high school we had this history teacher who was a complete pussy. The kids made fun of him constantly. At one point I remember one of my douchebad classmates asking the teacher if it was true that George Washington had a wooden dick. The teacher's response was: "Well, gosh I haven't heard that one."

    At first I despised my classmates because they were fuckups, had no respect for the course, no desire to learn, cheated constantly on tests, and just generally didn't give a shit. But as the year drew on I tarnsferred my distaste from the losers around me to the gutless teacher who was simply incapable of putting his foot down and taking control of the class. And that's much how I'm starting to feel about Democratic lawmakers these days. Show a little fucking spine, people… just a little fucking spine. That's all we're asking.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Plus, the Dems don't know about Washington's wooden dick either. (Nicolas Cage will be tracking it down in the next installment of the National Treasure film series.)

      • Guppy06

        Motherfucker had like thirty goddam dicks.

    • ttommyunger

      It's easier, and more profitable, to just go along, to get along. Don't you get it? The two party system is set up and designed to provide the MegaCorps and their minions exactly what they want. Dems are just Republican Light.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I voted for you in '00, Mr Nader.

        • ttommyunger

          Then you wasted a perfectly good vote, like Bill Maher did. I would only vote for a third party candidate if I thought he had a chance of winning. Nader never, ever had a fucking chance of winning; and what's worse, I think he knew it all along.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            "Wasted a perfectly good vote."

            Had I lived in Florida at the time, I would agree with you, but not here in Texas, compadre; a vote for anyone but Bush was a waste of your time and the gasoline it took to get you to the polling place.

            At the time, I understood that if the Green Party candidate got 5% of the popular vote nationwide, that party would be eligible in future for federal campaign finance $$$, which I thought would be a nice outcome. But I'm a decade more cynical now.

          • ttommyunger

            Never mind!!! I live in Georgia, so I understand completely.

    • charlesdegoal

      People pleasers are forever hoping to be liked by everyone while anyone of sound mind knows that it impossible.

    • V572625694

      So you ended up throwing spitballs at Mr History too?

  • Take the drugz from the Messicans an give them to the Repugs. When the Repugs are in a stupor take them to a rendering plant to make fuel for rockets to nuke Iran. Wiki furin' policy is sooooo EZ.

  • charlesdegoal

    What people are perhaps starting to understand now is that it makes no difference which party is the ruling party, as it's always the party of the rulers and the rest of us are ruled by them. What matters is class, not political alignments. There is a ruling class and don't try and fuck with it, although you may feel free to join it as we live in a Democracy.

    • MsQuasimodo


  • horsedreamer_1

    In his desire to be the anti-Bush, Obama has created an opportunity for the Republicans in the Legislature to perpetuate Bush.

    I suppose maybe Obama is the new Jimmy Carter, then. To remove the taint of Nixon from the White House, Carter did his "aw, shucks" routine. To remove the taint of Bush from the White House, Obama is doing his "aw, shucks" routine.

    & the wealth rages up.

    • mrbubb

      "Taint." Indeed.

  • jackannapolis

    McConnell and Bohener: Now that we won a majority of the House, that means we control all of the government, in the world, forever.

    Democrats: Yes. This is true. The Senate and White House are powerless, yes.

    McConnell and Bohener: Well, we have an idea of how much compromise we're willing to do now that we are in power. I've written it on this piece of the Constitution (slides over a corner of the constitution with the number 0 on it, plus a big dick penetrating a donkey's ass).

    Democrats: This is a piece torn off of the constitution with the number zero on it, plus, it looks like a big dick is fucking the symbol of the Democratic party.

    McConnell and Bohener: So,what do you think?

    Democrats: I think we can live with this.

    • ttommyunger

      Too true to allow me to laugh.

    • HistoriCat

      It's not funny because it's true.

  • T_Party_Pickens

    It is a bad deal for the Rethugs. Nobody will remember 23 months from now who supported what. They'll vote based on their personal finances. If Mitch McMoron's goal really is to destroy Hopey, he's off to a bad start.

  • x111e7thst

    Pity we cant send the Republitardian Senators and Reps on a Tijuana retreat. I hear the weather there is beautiful this time of year.

  • taylormattd

    "The drug-fueled Mexican Civil War is as bad as you thought"

    Are we still waiting for Jan Brewer's headless body to show up in the desert?

    • ttommyunger

      That would be nice.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      That woman is going to have so many more senior moments in the next four years, she'll be found wandering the desert with Alzheimer symptoms anyway.

      Good enough?

    • jim89048

      Her head on a pike would be a waste of a perfectly good pike.

  • MildMidwesterner

    The way I see it, the Republican party voted unanimously — twice — to raise taxes on 100% of Americans.

  • Come here a minute

    The tax cuts on income less than $250,000 are for all Americans, 100%. The lucky ducky 98% get that cut on all their income. The poor saps in the 2% only get a tax cut on the first 250k, the rest of their income would revert to the onerous level (3% higher) they had under Bill "Peace and Prosperity" Clinton.

    • forgracie

      Peace and prosperity is so overated…

      • SorosBot

        Well close to a plurality of Americans seemed to believe that in 2000, close enough to the number who liked peace and prosperity to let the Supreme Court intervene in their favor.

      • jim89048

        As the shrub once famously quipped, "sometimes profit trumps peace".

  • Mindblank

    I think it's very noble of our lawmakers to forgive the wealthy and super-wealthy after they totally trashed our economy in the Crash and Burn of '08. There, there, little wealthy people, we realize you didn't actually intend to do it. You were just led astray by selfish, motherfucking financial people. We didn't really mean to imply that you should pay for the recovery. Sorry!

    • HistoriCat

      Joe Barton – is that you?

  • ttommyunger

    In the immortal words of Andy Borowitz: " McConnell and Boehner wake up each morning thinking: How can I possibly be a bigger asshole than I was yesterday?". Got to be a challenge for them.

  • V572625694

    Funny thing about all those State Department emails: the ones that were released were only classified "Secret," which is one-three levels of classification below the really good stuff. Plus NYT, confident that it knows what's best for everyone, "redacted" (or "censored," as we used to say) stuff in the emails that they didn't think we could be trusted to know.

  • SorosBot

    Of course, no matter how many times Obama and Reid bend over backwards to give the GOP everything they want, the media will keep saying, "The public is angry that the President and Democratic Senators are not being bipartisan."

  • The Democrat negotiating strategy is to hold back one thing Republicans want so they can agree to throw that in as well after agreeing to whatever the Republicans wanted on the first thing.

  • PublicLuxury

    Democrats make it so easy to rape them. They lube up, don't wear underware, or pants and bend over the furniture. Republicans are then required to fuck them. Then the Democrats act surprised.

  • PsycWench

    Mitch McConnell was bitching over the weekend about how the Dem lame duck session was part of an attempt to make the Republicans look bad. I'm at a loss for words. Well, more like I have too many words for this comment space.

  • BeWoot

    R. Lee Ermey on GOP negotiators: "And you don't even have the got-damned common courtesy to give him a reach-around!

  • JustPixelz

    Repubicans demand lower taxes, Demoncrats demand benefits spending continue. The compromise? Let's do both! (The Chinese are covering the deficit and biding their time.)

    When Bill Clinton pushed through the "biggest tax increase in history", we got prosperity and jobs. Bush's "biggest tax cut in history" didn't delivery the goods — no prosperity, no jobs.

    I like money, but I can share the tax burden that being a fiscally responsible grown-up American demands.

  • Redhead

    I'm pretty sure I've said this before… but negotiating works when you're dealing with adults. The Repugnicants are acting like toddlers, so it's time to treat them that way.

  • mumbly_joe

    So, we can't extend unemployment benefits to people who will starve without them because The Deficit, but it's vitally important that we create an even bigger hole in the deficit by cutting a check to the super-rich, for Freedom.

    Also, complaining that maybe closing aforementioned hole in the deficit on the backs of the same people we just kicked out to starve in the streets is maybe unfair, regressive, and ultimately toxic to our long-term prospects is Class Warfare, but all that stuff mentioned above -where we are literally throwing the poor out in the cold to finance a big fat check for the very richest- isn't, because it only becomes Class Warfare when the peasants stop saying "thank you sir may I have another".

    I swear to God, I managed to graduate from one of the most liberal colleges in the country without managing to go full-Marxist, but damned if his ideas don't start to make a smidge of sense when I read about crap like this.

  • Beowoof

    I would like to know what the fall off will be in S&M dominatrix business will be when the democrats finally leave town. Because it seems as if every one is a submissive ass licker.

    And yes I know the men's room at Union Station will need a turnstile with all the republicans coming into town.

  • fuflans

    what i love best is boehner et alia piously pronouncing that they are simply representing 'the will of the american people who rejected the failed policies of blah, blah, blah…'

    i'm pretty sure the american people wouldn't know 'the will of the american people' if it bit them in the ass (which it well might!) but i'm also pretty sure 'the will of the american people' does not loosely translate as "tax cuts for people making over 250K".


  • lulzmonger

    Hobo Bean Futures = GOLD MINE.

    Silver lining: with even MOAR billions heading their way, bankers in Bermuda, St. Kitts & The Turks & Caicos will be partying like it's 1929!

    Shouty noises notwithstanding, the Dems vs. GOP grudge-match sure is looking suspiciously like a partnership. The Invisible Iron Fist didn't get so much as a time-out in the corner or a slap on its iron wrist for engineering Teh Glorious "Rape America For Fun & Profit" Scam Of 2008, so it's dropping the whole invisibility schtick.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "All I'm asking for is what I want" – Ricky Henderson.

  • Negropolis

    Just an observation. I see the Senate, and collectively, Democrats in general taking a lot of heat for this. The reality is that the president, at very turn, has undercut his Democratic majorities in the legislature. If anyone noticed, when Obama announced the deal, today, the Reid didn't respond enthusiastically like is normal for leadership of either party when their president is in office. The response was muted to say the least.

    This is all on Obama, and it always has been, and I say that as someone that has wanted to believe in him. The president is the leader of the party, period, and he fucking better start acting like one, goddamnit.

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