THE DARNDEST THINGS  6:17 pm December 3, 2010

Racist Child Is America’s Greatest Pundit

by Jack Stuef

Just like the Founding Fathers wanted.It’s obvious to anyone who reads a newspaper that America is in desperate need of new pundits. The op-ed, once a hallowed institution of intellectual political thought, has been besieged by idiots, celebrities, and senile old-guard journalists who are incapable of seeing the world around them or coming up with original ideas. Thus, we turn our eyes to a new generation: Andrew Pendergraft of The Andrew Show, a Web production from WhitePrideTV.com. Andrew is a pint-sized conservative who’s not afraid to actually say he’s racist. That’s pretty refreshing. We’ve compiled a video featuring some of his best political dogma, from his thoughts on Barack Obama and illegal immigrants to sex education in the nation’s schools.

If you want to feel extra good about the state of America in 2010 this weekend, click on over to this video and see how the adults brainwash these kids in church. Fun for the whole family! [WhitePrideTV]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 428 comments }

V572625694 December 3, 2010 at 6:25 pm

I've switched to "journasaur" when speaking of the Kristols and Broders of the dead-tree media.

The kid's cute — looks like a young Timothy McVeigh.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 3, 2010 at 10:10 pm

His mother is so proud. Maybe a burning cross will fall on her and the kid will have a chance in life.

Dashboard_Jesus December 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm

he's baaaack! (evidently reincarnation works that way sometimes?)

Sparky_McGruff December 4, 2010 at 11:45 am

The crazy is strong in this one. He has Bachmann eyes!

harmonikasavingsbonds December 4, 2010 at 4:24 pm

May he reach the heights that McVeigh did!

One_who_wanders December 3, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Glad you guys are keeping an eye out for this sort of thing but I am not going to spoil my weekend clicking on either of those, tyvm.

Besides if I wait 5 or 6 years the way things are going now I can read him on the WaPo op-ed page. Or watch him On Fox.

Ein_Rant December 4, 2010 at 1:58 am

One_who_wanders?

Well no shit! Combo of a bat and a rat? Not quite albino though, so you must be a "progressive" (hee-hee!!! HAHA!!!)

You DO realize that this is National Enquirer "quality" "journalism" – don't you?

I suspect the vast majority of the pre-pubescent chumps here actually buy this crap though…

And they probably think(???) that the Jerry Springer Show somehow accurately reflects something other than junkie nation…

Click me down rat-bat and friends… I deserve it!

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 2:09 am

Your wish is our command, rat-bastard.

Ein_Rant December 4, 2010 at 2:42 am

That's Fat Rat Bastard to you – punk!

Your avi-pic – Is that Pfleger? The self-hating Christian (HAHAHA!!!) White guy who PRAYS for his own extinction? What is he waiting for?

Oh – right…. He is just like Al Gore – a holier-than-thou High-Priest of hypocrisy… Do as I say, not as I do? Typical…

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 2:48 am

Being that this is Wonkette, one would think you'd have some sense of snark. Obviously you don't. I'm as big a fan of Pfleger as you are.

Now, fuck off, twisted sister.

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Ha-ha! Fennec foxes are all liberals!

One_who_wanders December 5, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Really? That is the best you can do? Barely literate, uninformed comments on someone's avatar? And on journalism? Yawn

fundamentallybroken December 3, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Perfect argument for more baby-snatchin' if you ask me.

Crank_Tango December 3, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Well I just hope there aren't any blacks or messicans afraid to kick the shit out of this kid, leave him for dead, and burn his fucking trailer to the wheels.

zhubajie December 3, 2010 at 8:23 pm

Wait a few years for the war of all against all.

Crank_Tango December 3, 2010 at 10:12 pm

he's part of a long family tradition.. .http://www.fadedtribune.com/2010/06/we-are-bringing-up-our-kids-in-the-ku-klux-klan/

the sisters are bangable tho…in a klannish sorta way.

Dashboard_Jesus December 3, 2010 at 11:21 pm

gotta agree with ya, daughter Charity is especially hawt and Mom can join in any time so long as she keeps the Klan robe on (and the little racist fuck can watch, I'm SURE dad lets him!)

OneDollarJuana December 4, 2010 at 11:19 am

That kid in the video says that they'll be teaching sex in the fourth grade. Bet he doesn't get any. Ever.

Sparky_McGruff December 4, 2010 at 11:52 am

Not a chance. They're 15 and 17 years old. In Klan world, that's way too old for sexytime.

Ein_Rant December 4, 2010 at 2:04 am

"…and burn his fucking trailer to the wheels."

Are you a bigot? Do you stereotype based on geography? Are you CALLING FOR THE VIOLENT DEATH of a fellow human being simply because, as an ignorant child (media creature who will regret it…) he espouses some view you disagree with? Is it better to accept our Mooslim brothers and their message of death and oppression? You and I both know that no Arab has EVER harmed a single hair on the head of a black African. "Minorities" all live in peace and harmony with each other. All of the world's problems are caused by "The Man!!!".

Once White people disappear from the face of the Earth all will be bliss…

Fare la Volpe December 4, 2010 at 4:44 am

What the hell? Who shoved a Qu'ran up your tukhus? We're talking about the KKK here, cuntwhistle.

Crank_Tango December 4, 2010 at 10:42 am

No, I am a white guy who is embarrassed by assholes like this.

And you're next, fucko.

Who the fuck even mentioned arabs, you worthless bucket of shit.

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 11:54 am

I, for one, am just as shocked as you are by these liberals callously calling for the kid and his parents to die in a fire. That would emit untold amounts of greenhouse gases and other harmful pollutants.

Nooses made from organically-raised hemp would be far more sustainable.

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 2:16 pm

Just so long as the bodies are then given natural burials – no metal caskets put in the ground and no embalming fluids to poison the soil.

HistoriCat December 4, 2010 at 4:18 pm

What are you going to hang that noose from? How many trees must suffer or die for this otherwise righteous act?

Sophist FCD December 6, 2010 at 3:22 am

Plenty of lampposts in the world. I 'spec' we ain't gonna hafta damage no trees.

AngryGeometer December 4, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Oh hey, it's the bizarro-world metamarcisf.

Jesus had a thing or two to say about corrupting little kids, you willfully ignorant shit.

marinmaven December 5, 2010 at 2:45 pm

I am a flaming liberal who has always supported the ACLU, even when they fought for the rights of Neo-Nazis to parade around. I agree with liberal Noam Chomsky who said, "If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all." So I support everyone's freedom of speech. I also support non-violence. Freedom of Speech doesn't protect a person from the consequences of said speech. You reap what you sow and if you preach hate and violence, you shouldn't be too surprised when hate and violence comes your way.

Blaming white males isn't bigotry, but a factual assessment of history.
People who wield power most often abuse it and white males (except for the very poor, handicapped, or mentally ill) have had the power over women and folks of all skin color. White males have poisoned the earth, found ingenuous ways to kill their fellow man to maintain power, and hoarded almost all the wealth and resources in the world.

There have always been enlightened and liberal white males, but no one pays attention to them (see Kucinich and Bernie Sanders) and they are the exception to the rule. I am married to one and I am raising one.

There have always been cruel evils among those of color upon each other and even against the whites, but you can normally trace it to the consequence of the injustices and inhumanity of some white male colonization.

All the problems of the world start with unfathomable hubris and overdeveloped sense of entitlement. The one group on earth that has been reliably in the position to exercise these characteristics have been white males.
While the red, black, brown, and yellow man can kill hundreds and thousands of people. It is only the white male who consistently has no problem killing millions showed others the way. Pol Pot and Idi Amin copied Stalin, could never compete with about 17 million deaths attributed to "Uncle Joe". Even if it is not on the scale of the Holocaust, Purges, or Killing Fields, whites kill several times more darker peoples. 9/11 was terrible, but the rest of the world has suffered far more over and over again throughout history than we have and usually because of a white male. Ask all the mothers all over the world who mourn their dead in so much more a greater scale that mothers in the US. White males have always been much more efficient at killing.
I guess what I am saying is that White Pride is totally not earned or warranted.

ingloriousbytch December 5, 2010 at 6:00 pm

Slow your roll, Cletus. Nobody's advocating for the kid's violent death. We're advocating for him to get the shit kicked out of him, LEFT for dead and his trailer burned. Nobody's saying the kid actually has to die. He could end up a vegetable. See? Win-win.

edgydrifter December 3, 2010 at 6:27 pm

I'd love to have the cameras rolling in about ten years when this kid comes out to his parents and moves in with a very, very urban gentleman.

Lascauxcaveman December 3, 2010 at 8:02 pm

That's always my upside with these guys. You can't homeschool them forever. At some point, they grow up, go out into the world and maybe, just maybe, find out what racist, brainless, assholes their parents are.

And after the deep, burning shame fades away, they turn out pretty much OK.

VaWyo December 4, 2010 at 12:07 am

Hopefully it will be a very very urban muslin abortion doctor.

Tengu December 3, 2010 at 6:27 pm

That's wacist!

fundamentallybroken December 3, 2010 at 6:32 pm

That speech impediment makes me hate him more than the racism does. Learn to speak english right, you little douchebag!

Radiotherapy December 3, 2010 at 6:40 pm

He would read your avatar as "Keep White!"

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 3, 2010 at 6:49 pm

My little brother had the same speech impediment when he was about the same age, and it was corrected with a few months of therapy. However, it is clear to me that this child just needs to be beaten.

CapnFatback December 3, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Beat me to it.

Extemporanus December 3, 2010 at 6:44 pm

DAT'S NOT WACIAL TWANSENDENCE!

LetUsBray December 3, 2010 at 9:12 pm

So he'll grow up to have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome named Biggus Diccus, and he won't wike seeing his fwiends waughed at.

TanzbodenKoenig December 4, 2010 at 9:19 am

Welease Weginald!

trampndirtdown December 4, 2010 at 11:31 am

No Wewease Woderick!

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Thwow him to the floor, Centuwion!

doloras December 5, 2010 at 3:21 pm

He's a wobber! And a wapist! And a pickpocket!

problemwithcaring December 3, 2010 at 6:29 pm

Your move, St. Martin's Press.

petehammer December 3, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Your counteroffer, Regnery.

LionelHutzEsq December 3, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Latest is that Roger Ailes is offering him $2,000.000 for two years as a "FOX News Contributor."

petehammer December 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm

*BREAKING* 7:09 EST – He has been selected to replace Michael Steele as chairman of the RNC. Teabaggers claim huge victory over "that kind."

LionelHutzEsq December 3, 2010 at 7:29 pm

"No longer will we be run by an incompetent, very, very urban leader," said Representative Steve King.

comrad_darkness December 3, 2010 at 9:05 pm

LOL! (a squirt of pee was insufficient)

Barbara_i December 3, 2010 at 6:29 pm

It's sweet how his bangs hide the scar from the unsuccessful coat hanger purging his mother should have finished.

Dashboard_Jesus December 3, 2010 at 11:24 pm

ouch, good one! :D

randcoolcatdaddy December 3, 2010 at 6:33 pm

My brain hurts: He talks like Barbara Walters.

Maman December 3, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Mine hurts too. Do you have the knotted handkerchief for your brain pain like the Monty Python dude? or is that just me?

comrad_darkness December 3, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Please, they are called Gumbys.

What is this world coming to??

Maman December 3, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Merci… I never did know what they were called….

seppdecker December 3, 2010 at 6:37 pm

"Senile old-guard journalists who are incapable of seeing the world around them or coming up with original ideas" sounds so much less hateful than "Richard Cohen."

chascates December 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm

He'll make fine cannon fodder for our never-ending wars. If we can keep him away from the corn syrup and anus burgers.

GravyBoyJohnson December 4, 2010 at 6:33 am

it's a safe bet that this kid is on a steady diet of lean 'n mean varmints.

Radiotherapy December 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm

The violin solo at the end? My best guess is I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas?? Or Ebony and Ivory?? Or Rock the Casbah??

CapnFatback December 3, 2010 at 7:31 pm

I believe it's "Wittle Watin Wupe Wu."

bokononista December 3, 2010 at 10:47 pm

Could have been straining for The Cure's "Killing an Arab", but he'd fail at that too.

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:05 am

Surprise. Fuckin' little white kid has no sense of rhythm . . . or music in general, also, too.

UW8316154 December 5, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Sympathy for the Devil?

DrivelLady December 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm

What's a jokel?

PubOption December 3, 2010 at 10:05 pm

A funny yokel?

JustPixelz December 5, 2010 at 10:48 am

Well, "El" is god in Hebrew so "joke-el" is Obama.

But it could be he's swaying "Joe Kell", who went to my high school and majored in smoking weed.

taylormattd December 3, 2010 at 6:39 pm

There's no way I'm clicking that.

And I hope to christ that somebody reports the fucking parents to Child Protective Services.

iburl December 3, 2010 at 10:17 pm

call the parents yourself 870-427-3414

Rarian Rakista December 4, 2010 at 4:38 pm

I should call just to listen if they are mouth breathers are not.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 4, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Of course they're mouth breathers. They're in the klan.

GeorgiaPeachy December 3, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Damn, and I thought we had crackers here.

An_Outhouse December 3, 2010 at 6:42 pm

How come that retard doesn't talk right? Someone forgot to show you how an 'R' is pronounced? Are you a fuckin' furriner or something?

Clancy_Pants December 4, 2010 at 9:17 am

Someone (a parent) must've told him it would be cuter if he did his shtick in baby talk.

Either that or he's got a dick in his mouth.

heidihole December 5, 2010 at 8:58 pm

Also, I think if his parents were smart enough to "mix" with some Asians, kid could actually play the violin.

EdFlintstone December 3, 2010 at 6:42 pm

I'm seeing a GOP nomination in this kids future.

dyedwool December 4, 2010 at 5:30 pm

I'm seeing some Urban Santorum in this kid's sphincter. You know, once he grows up, comes out and moves to San Francisco. His parents are going to be hugely disappointed.

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Is Urban Santorum a real person? One of Man-on-Dogs Santorum's clan? That could save a boring Sunday night. (When I should be wrapping presents.)

killbot December 3, 2010 at 6:43 pm

awwww – the littlest Klansman.

lurch394 December 4, 2010 at 11:29 am

You mean "the wittwest Kwansman."

Extemporanus December 3, 2010 at 6:43 pm

Andrew sounds like he's got a Klan member in his mouth.

bumfug December 3, 2010 at 6:51 pm

That was earlier.

Radiotherapy December 3, 2010 at 6:59 pm

I think it's the Gwan Dwagon.

LionelHutzEsq December 3, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Don't hate, don't tell?

CapnFatback December 3, 2010 at 6:43 pm

"In cowege, I'm pwetty sure your pwofessows will begin each cwass with a weachawound. And exit exams include dowing out bwow jobs and wusty twombones to the pwicipaw."

north_of_moscow December 3, 2010 at 6:49 pm

I get the feeling Andrew was getting a little jealous of his baby sister getting all the attention, what with her starring role on Toddlers and Tiaras and all. I think it's sweet his folks found a creative outlet for him.

Barbara_i December 3, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Her starring role? His sister is one of those little tiara wearing prostitots?

moralturpentine December 3, 2010 at 10:29 pm

"Toddlers, Tiaras, Tantrums and Teabags" is one of my favorite, um, art house films.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 3, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Where are the bullies when you need them?

iburl December 3, 2010 at 10:18 pm

In the Klan with him.

dyedwool December 4, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Where they've always been — Haliburton.

OC_Surf_Serf December 3, 2010 at 6:53 pm

Now those were some sites.

Just thinking of the places the Wonkette has sent me will really fuck up the NSA techie who scans this harddrive when the black helicopters come…

As an aside: I just got a bill from my previous state of residence for a tax audit of 2004 for $112. Hard up or what?

MilwaukeeKent December 3, 2010 at 8:10 pm

Hmmm. Take solace that your previous state of residence probably spent 300 or more running the audit and sending out the bill.

Like many others here, in 15 or 20 years I foresee hearing about some terrible public scandal and finding out it's this kid. There's going to be one hell of a mental scar if/when this kid wakes up and realizes what his parents did to him, and just how badly they prepared him for the real world.

Of course, there's an equally likely chance he'll die in an ATV rollover/shooting accident at a militia camp in Idaho before he reaches 21 (when–if he owns property– he'll be able to vote).

dr_giraud December 3, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Hoo-boy. Not a surprise that the set-up of the sites was as awful as the content. I'm referring, of course, to the detailed instruction in how to watch a YouTube video, how to "wait for the internet to catch up."

Blendergoathead December 3, 2010 at 6:54 pm

I want to know the titles of those books behind that little rascal – did they republish Mein Kampf as a children's series?

One_who_wanders December 3, 2010 at 7:24 pm

It's the new See and Say version, with pop-up Aryans.

zhubajie December 3, 2010 at 8:25 pm

Maybe a manga version?

BerkeleyBear December 3, 2010 at 9:15 pm

With the vile juden as tentacle monsters abducting and raping the aryan kinder.

imissopus December 3, 2010 at 9:27 pm

And using their blood to make matzos. Or is that Saudi Arabian kids? I can't keep my ridiculous anti-Semitic myths straight.

Fare la Volpe December 4, 2010 at 4:48 am

"See Adolf. See Adolf paint. Paint, Adolf, paint. Who will Adolf paint?

See Eva. See Eva drink. No, Eva, no! Don't drink!

See Rabbi Bernstein. Whoops, nevermind."

DaSandman December 3, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Andrew, meet Woodchipper. Woodchipper, meet Andrew.

No need to worry Andy, the chipper is just to help clear up that lisp and a few other things…

SUPERChundy December 3, 2010 at 6:59 pm

He thinks he's people! Awwwwwwwwww

emberglance December 3, 2010 at 7:01 pm

WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING US LOOK AT ALL THESE TERRIBLE THINGS?

I can't imagine it's doing you any good, exposing yourself to all this toxic waste either. Please take a few days time off, Wonkette. Do some crafts or learn French or something.

You can't, can you? And I can't stop looking…

Lascauxcaveman December 3, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Aw, man. Protect yourself. I don't click on 9/10 of the stuff they put up here. I just read the comments and infer. That's about all I can handle.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 3, 2010 at 11:02 pm

Typical 9/10 mentality.

Radiotherapy December 3, 2010 at 7:03 pm

Needs more thesaurus.

Gleem_McShineys December 3, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Thesawus.

To wook up Insincewe and Incweduwity.

Radiotherapy December 3, 2010 at 7:13 pm

I'm going to twy try not to tawk talk that way aww all weekend.

smokefilledroommate December 4, 2010 at 3:43 am

I wuv you, Waydeeohthewapee!

Dwunk, sowwy.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 1:24 am

Or a play date with little Trigger Palin.

killbot December 3, 2010 at 7:05 pm

.Who's a little Hitler? Yes you are! Yes you are!

DoktorZoom December 3, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Ummm…I'm conflicted. Isn't it wrong to hate a child?

LionelHutzEsq December 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Yes, but it is fun.

natoslug December 3, 2010 at 7:40 pm

I'm not quite ready to hate the kid, but I'd have no problem disassembling his parents with something dull and rusty to see if I can find the part that's obviously fucking wrong with them.

jim89048 December 3, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Not when said child hates first, no.

HurricaneAli December 3, 2010 at 8:31 pm

I'm with natoslug but sans the disassembling – this kid's parents are perhaps even worse than teevee's favorite snowbilly grifter, if that's possible.

Where's Jerry Springer when you really, really need him?

moralturpentine December 3, 2010 at 10:46 pm

My quadroon (I'm on the kenyanmuslin side of the family so I say that with love) nieces and nephews live in Missouri and have to deal with this kind of shit, so yeah I hate this kid but I do hope he gets better for all our sakes. Sorry to be sincere, but the maryjane does that to me.

ChuckieJesus December 4, 2010 at 1:43 pm

I have a quadroon kid living in Florida, I know what you mean. *raises pipe to you*

LionelHutzEsq December 3, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Got to admit, he makes more sense than Glenn Beck.

He just needs more anti-Semitic, Mickey Mouse knock offs if he wants to make it to the big time on FOX News.

glamourdammerung December 3, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Got to admit, he makes more sense than Glenn Beck.

Cries less often too.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 3, 2010 at 10:34 pm

At least until he gets older and the regret starts to kick in.

dyedwool December 4, 2010 at 6:53 pm

And less white board. Which is odd. You'd think he'd be a MAJOR fan of that.

MarionNYNY December 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Cute kid. He'll have a much easier time if he doesn't lose his looks before prison.

slappypaddy December 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm

drag him behind a pickup truck for a couple-three miles, see how he feels about that whole racist thing.

DoktorZoom December 3, 2010 at 7:45 pm

See how violent and hateful liberals are?

Now, dragging him behind a Prius, that would at least be more environmentally friendly.

imissopus December 3, 2010 at 9:35 pm

Drag him behind a Schwinn for maximum earth friendliness.

aguacatero December 3, 2010 at 7:11 pm

is that a racist Guy Smiley that he's clutching beginning around 1:30?

That crosses a line.

CapnFatback December 3, 2010 at 7:27 pm

Nope. It's Guy Smiwey.

DoktorZoom December 3, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Really–if he's going to have a muppet, it should be Grover…Norquist.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:40 am

I hate that douchebag. Did he win that election? Wasn't he running for something?

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 1:11 am

I don't think he runs for stuff himself. He's more of an asshole-behind-the-throne sort of guy.

Neilist December 3, 2010 at 7:12 pm

This Fine Young Patriot only needs a rifle to complete his education.

A rifle shoved right up his ass.

With the bayonet still attached.

Oh, and the grenade launcher.

Neilist
Assistant Acting Director
NRA's Young Shootists Association
Wonkettee Outreach Desk

Lascauxcaveman December 3, 2010 at 8:12 pm

So you're a spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child kinda guy?

Neilist December 4, 2010 at 4:36 pm

You Communist Liberal Pinko SKUM don't realize that all White Supremacists are ENTITLED to own guns.

On the other hand, so are all the Yids, Niggers, Fags, etc.

Only this way can we achieve the Beautiful Symmetry of the Juden Munich homeowner opening his door to the Brown Shirts in 1936 — holding his P08 Luger or C96 Broomstick Mauser.

Or the black Arkansas sharecropper shoving the last 00 Buckshot round into the magazine of his Remington 10 gauge as the Klan parks their dilapidated pickup truck on his lawn.

Or Matthew Sheppard entertaining his new Wyoming friends with the large lump in his pants — specifically, a Glock Model 27 in .40 cal. S&W.

[No, come to think of it, that last is too much cartridge for a Limp Wrister. Better make it the Model 26 in the Girly Man 9 mm.]

People Hate People: Why fight it? Instead, let's focus on evening things up a bit, to make it more interesting . . . .

Neilist
Rodney King Scholar In Residence
"It's Easier To Just Get Along If They're All DEAD!"
Carnegie Endowment On World (Rest In) Peace
A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Bushmaster Industries, Inc.

PuckStopsHere December 4, 2010 at 4:45 pm

It's hard to argue with Neilist. Not on the merits mind you, but rather because when you do you run the risk of getting your ass shot off. And thats hard.

Neilist December 4, 2010 at 5:42 pm

"[Y]our ass shot off"? Not if I have a roll of Pop 'n Fresh:

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.

Linda is blonde, a Republican and a Palin supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.

The defective biscuit canister was analyzed; and the whole thing was determined, of course, to be Obama's fault.

[Yeah, yeah, I know it's an Urban Legend:
http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp

Who cares? And it's the weekend anyway.]

HurricaneAli December 3, 2010 at 8:35 pm

Are you feeling shooty this weekend?

Troubledog December 3, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Bwing me Bwian!

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 3, 2010 at 11:05 pm

No more Wudolf the Wed-Nosed Weindeers.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:38 am

Whoops. You owe me, since I hit the wrong thing and just became your slavish follower. Do his parents not understand that putting a child who can't hit his Rs on the utubes will make him the object of ridicule?

Tim McVeigh had better parents. And no speech defect.

MaxNeanderthal December 4, 2010 at 3:02 pm

He wanks as high as any in Wome! … Where are Thaul the Thyrain athathin, and Thimon the Thaducee thtwangler when you need them?

BTWBFDIMHO December 3, 2010 at 7:12 pm

One Right-Wing Child Left Behind.

glamourdammerung December 3, 2010 at 7:14 pm

In before conservatards whine about how pointing out "White Pride TV" is racist makes actually makes us the racists all because some Democrat 100 years ago displayed the strange trait of that era of believing in white racial superiority.

DoktorZoom December 3, 2010 at 7:51 pm

You know, Robert Byrd was in the KKK….

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:36 am

When they use that reference to validate their commitment to, nay, responsibility for, the Civil Rights Act, they always fail to mention the Strom Thurmonds of the south–the racists who became Republicans and fit in just fine.

JustPixelz December 5, 2010 at 10:55 am

Robert Byrd & KKK is like the new "some of my best friends are colored, but…".

It's nice that people change their minds and their hearts. What an awful world it would be if everyone's beliefs were set in stone at birth.

zhubajie December 3, 2010 at 8:29 pm

These days, Dems are old-fashioned Republicans and Republicans are the un-official raving loony party. I'm waiting for someone to found a Real Republican Party, like the Real IRA!

glamourdammerung December 3, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Like Representative Peter King? The one that thinks the IRA bombing shopping malls is cool and Wikileaks should be considered a terrorist group?

doloras December 5, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Yeah, the IRA are white terrorists, which makes it okay like Tim McVeigh.

Wilcoxyz December 3, 2010 at 7:14 pm

Is there a retired or otherwise out of work Catholic priest who could mentor this boy about forgiveness and puberty?

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 12:54 am

I'm so going to Christian hell for laughing at that.

snoopyfan2010 December 3, 2010 at 7:18 pm

It's a good thing the dog doesn't understand english or he would have run away by now.

DoktorZoom December 3, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Pugs aren't very Aryan…

snoopyfan2010 December 3, 2010 at 9:32 pm

True. They aren't afraid of the "race" mixing either.

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 1:13 am

Dogs are equal-opportunity leg-humpers

Rotundo_ December 4, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Sure doesn't look like a dog that would be owned by Klan types, they seem to like german shepards and dobermans, pitbulls etc. But since I'm not as inclined to buy into stereotypes (some of the mellowest people I have ever met have had pibbles and shepards and dobies Oh My!) I think the pug was something the mother of the little hate spewing fella picked out.

imissopus December 3, 2010 at 9:37 pm

He looked like he was trying at one point, though maybe he was afraid he'd be dinner if roadkill pickings were light that day.

vulpes82 December 4, 2010 at 1:46 am

OMG, that poor pug! Someone save it from the hateful family it has been condemned to! (What do you want to bet that family saw the black-coated ones next to the fawns in the litter and then condemned the mother for miscegenation?)

jackannapolis December 3, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Conventional wisdom in this country that only sees two sides to every argument as being leftist or rightist, black or white, jew or muslim, is to raise leftist muslim black racist kids and put them on the youtubes. Who will be the first to indoctrinate their children with hate, for freedom?

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 1:40 am

Who will be the first to indoctrinate their children with hate

So, 'hate' in your opinion is NOT teaching kids the birds and bees in school—elementary school? These are things we used to learn at home, and this nation was better off learning these things at home.

Maybe the kid also has his own mind, and does not like being taught sex in school. We didnt like it when they introduced it to us in the 9th grade in 1979, because it made us feel uncomfortable, and that was the NORMAL reaction.

No, it does not matter what you are, but being centrist is the best way to go at this point. But, nobody is willing to do this. So, back to 'you are right and I am left' And keep exposing the hate, when we all hate each-other.
Its all bs.

jackannapolis December 4, 2010 at 2:10 am

You mean centrist like white on black sex? Or messican gay sex? That poor child's views were anything but centrist. Are you telling me, dear pauleetteanne, that you consider him centrist? Or are you saying that those who strongly disagree with him are not centrist enough?

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 11:58 am

Maybe Paultardanne is dreaming of being the centrist in a Rand-Ron sandwich?

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 4, 2010 at 10:08 am

Yes, pauletteanne, I'm sure your step-daddy taught you all about the birds and bees at home. And just look at how well-adjusted you are.

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Ha ha, yes I'm sure the five-year-old child has read widely enough to have his own mind, and also too is well-informed about what sex ed exactly is to be taught in the schools at particular grade levels. Probably synthesized info he has read in National Review and Mother Jones to come up with this knowledge.

But if your 9th grade class was uncomfortable with it in 1979, obviously that's a good guidepost for any and all sex education in any and all schools across America for the rest of recorded history, the end.

Rotundo_ December 4, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Egad! You're riffing on the kid talking about sex ed in schools (again, he almost certainly is home schooled, no kid of his ilk would survive in a modern primary school without huge distress flares going off) and completely ignoring the WHITE KIDS ONLY! stuff. This is why trolls like you irritate us as much as you do. You ignore the 800 pound gorilla in the room (racism) and get all bent out of shape about the sex ed in elementary school, which is a red herring issue if ever there was one. We don't hate you, really. But we really hate your smarmy self assured moralizing and the fact that you can't watch this (assuming you did) and not be a little concerned about what this kid is going to turn into. Get a clue, buy one if you must, but wake up.

DoktorZoom December 5, 2010 at 2:29 am

Speak for yourself, Rotundo–a number of us hate her, or would, if we gave her any thought…

doxastic December 4, 2010 at 3:23 pm

Who will be the first to indoctrinate their children with hate, for freedom?

And in a flash, the call was answered!

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:11 am

Somebody's not gettin' enough of the hot beef injection, I'm thinkin' . . . .

Fare la Volpe December 5, 2010 at 12:15 pm

I'm sorry, please show me a single 15-year-old who is not interested in sex, and I will eat the Wonkette server.

Sophist FCD December 6, 2010 at 4:08 am

The three gerbils maybe, but you'll have trouble getting the little metal treadmill down.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 3, 2010 at 7:31 pm

See! Home schooling really works although it might be a good idea to get away from Mein Kampf for a while and concentrate on diction.

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 1:36 am

See! Home schooling really works although it might be a good idea to get away from Mein Kampf for a while and concentrate on diction.

You might want to suggest that to Helen Thomas, LEFTIST DEMOCRAT.

Fare la Volpe December 4, 2010 at 12:12 pm

Schlafly? Is that you?

Crank_Tango December 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Suggest it to your mother, nyaaaaa!!!!!!!

doxastic December 4, 2010 at 3:16 pm

I wish that I could have LEFTIST DEMOCRAT (in all-caps, the thinking person's italics) appended to my name all the time.

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:13 am

When you were home-schooled, was somebody teaching you sex edumacation? Privately?

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 4:03 am

We all know it was her step-father who had boundary issues.

Rev_Lemonjello December 3, 2010 at 7:36 pm

Where's Mark Foley when you need him?

Blendergoathead December 3, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Does he also have segments on the community, like, "This is my cousin's meth lab," or "Why my Daddy is in Pelican Bay for Life?"

DoktorZoom December 3, 2010 at 7:52 pm

A Kleagle is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood….

weejee December 3, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Thinkin' this kid was raised in an environment likely as closed as Little Kim runs in North Korea. He didn't get to this point without help and influence. His daddy in Pelican Bay & methed-out cousin had to have been there for this lad. No doubt he got the Red State family values all day long.

PublicLuxury December 3, 2010 at 7:55 pm

The teachers would be crawling all over this family. A few racist remarks at a school and the phone would be ringing. Plus, he would get to see a licensed speech/language pathologist. But socially, the kid would pay on the playground. He would be in foster care/safe house with a blink of the eye.

Maybe the foster family would be 'brown'.

Rotundo_ December 3, 2010 at 9:01 pm

It would likely do him a world of good, but pity the poor foster parents for the first few months (years?) of de-programming.

JustPixelz December 5, 2010 at 10:45 am

Obviously the ZOG does not have its tentacles in this young mind. (Disclaimer: dunno what what he swedd after 0:55.)

prommie December 9, 2010 at 11:48 am

Maybe in your state, but come on, that wouldn't happen in Alabama, Arkansas, or Idaho, for example.

ManchuCandidate December 3, 2010 at 8:00 pm

Pity the poor little white retard racist. This is as good as it gets for him as he heads towards his future of getting fat from corn syrup, meth caused stupidity/brain damage and corn holing the livestock.

ttommyunger December 3, 2010 at 10:07 pm

You are SO right, sadly.

smokefilledroommate December 3, 2010 at 8:01 pm

'Justin Bieber' is perhaps the greatest thing that kid could ever say.. Comedy beebaw gold.

PublicLuxury December 3, 2010 at 8:03 pm

Oh my! To teach hate. I've been shocked before but this is heartbreaking. All because a black man was elected president. Such a spike in hate.

Now for the snark,

Why don't we institutionalize and sterilize people in this country?

Mojopo December 3, 2010 at 9:05 pm

A least make people have an IQ test before they pop out kids, right? If people have to have a permit to ride a moped, I'm just saying…

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:32 am

Really. If I were czarina of this here democracy, my law would be that no one is allowed to vote until they pass a civics test designed by me and the water supply would be changed from fluoridated to something that REALLY rendered your "basic bodily fluids" (the movie? anyone? anyone? a thumbs up if you can also name the actor who said it) impotent until you go before a Board of Fitness to be a Parent and pass their oral exam. And I don't mean that in a Vitter kind of way. (What the hell. I've been using him all night–there it goes again–so I might as well stick with it.)

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 1:19 am

Sterling Hayden, and it was PRECIOUS bodily fluids.

(Women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, But I… I do deny them my essence.)

Sheesko December 4, 2010 at 7:09 pm

From the faboo film "Dr. Strangelove; or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying and LOVE the Bomb."

See? We're so smartypants. If only people without our gifts were incapable of things like locking and loading, or gathering the items requisite to stoning "whores." Alas, they are. And they do.

The flip side of how scary-Nazi this kid is, is how scary-Nazi it is that he makes eugenics start to look good.

PuckStopsHere December 4, 2010 at 4:56 pm

We CANNOT permit a mineshaft gap!

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2010 at 10:18 pm

Accidentally hit the avatar and your profile came up. Humorous and a very good idea. Distracts from the need to get the window off the screen, however, so deters any accidentally following.

Since Zev whatever told me trolls muck about the wonket and give thumbs downs, just to be assholes, I've been paranoid about that kind of thing. Trolls are semi-literate and annoying and mean and, most unforgivable, just not funny.

doloras December 5, 2010 at 4:19 pm

The problem would be that under your scheme my ignorant, mean parents would have been sterilised, and this particular progressive radical queer artist type would never have existed.

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Did you make racist videos as a child? If so, there is truly hope for even this kid to turn out well.

BerkeleyBear December 3, 2010 at 9:23 pm

We actually still do quite a bit of the former and only stopped the later a couple of decades ago. Trouble is, it is an eye of the beholder thing, as yesterday's super dangerous mental "defectives" targeted by eugenecists were and are largely much nicer, more productive people than this fuckup and his parents.

doxastic December 4, 2010 at 3:09 pm

At Red State, that would have been a confused but honest question.

Chet Kincaid December 3, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Not worth getting worked up about if they don't have some explicit connection to a halfway "legit" political organization. I'm sure you can find shit like this for days out there. I'm not spoiling my pleasant weekend looking at this, although I will be entertained by your comments!

Blendergoathead December 3, 2010 at 8:42 pm

Watching public access TV here in SF during the '80's was bad, but not this bad.

Sheesko December 4, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Also spracht the intelligentsia of pre-Third Reich Germany. And then, before they knew it, *POUF*

Chet Kincaid December 4, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I'm neither oblivious nor naive, thanks. I'm not going anywhere, except to pull my head out of the toilet that Wonkette seems to now be swirling for posts. A steady diet of shit like this is not good for my mental or physical health.

weejee December 4, 2010 at 9:03 pm

/ snark off

I hope your right about the "not worth getting worked up about" but Sheesko has a point. A lot of the angry Teabaggers are say they are pissed about Obama's out of control socialist govt. spending are considered red staters. However that money that is being spent is disproportionately coming from blue states and being spent in red states. In the Saloon there's a piece that talks about how in 2004 in the 28 states Dubbya got better than 50% of the vote get $1.32 in fed spending per fed tax dollar collected, while in the 19 states where Dubbya got <50% they only see 93¢ back on each fed tax dollar collected. There's an urban vs. rural factor playing, but the Rs have been real smooth with this financial redistribution. So the Red Staters may say they are pissed with about Obama's spendy ways, seems likely his physical complexion also plays a role.

Although already tl/dr, there's another aspect about hate-based politics, like this kid is spouting, that is scarier than the fact we blues may be getting scammed by the reds on tax dollars. In the Newzweak (I know it's sad my going there but I'm an olde) there is another bit where the author used to feel that Huey Long and Joltin' Joe McCarty could rant and rave, but they were never going to reach 51% in Congress, as happened in Germany in the Thirties. This author used to fell the reason that would not/could not happen here is the old lame street media would point out the lies and keep the pendulum from swing too far. Now however, the LSM is sinking, and the intertubes lets us blue-blooded Wonketteers hide out and laugh at those red-blooded 'Muricans with only a feeble troll intrusion from time-to-time. However, the Newsweek author notes that in 1970 the richest 1% made 9% of the national income, while today they make 25%. CEOs who used to make 50 times the average worker's now make 500 times that figure. Although Xtine & Miller lost, they were total fruitcakes, the Republican Party's freshman class includes a number of potential nightmares. In Neilist terms, we better keep our powder dry.

/ snark on, sorta…

I see that they are tearing down the last bit of Cabrini Green. I have an old photo (real silver halide shit) of me with Neil Hartigan and some residents standing in front of the place before a rally in 1976 when I was doing advance for the Lt. Gov. Good times, good times.

FlipOffResearch December 3, 2010 at 8:13 pm

I think I’ve spotted the host for a new Saturday morning show -
Fox News for Kids.

simplyblue7 December 3, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Ah, yes….retroactive abortion should be legal.

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 1:34 am

Ah, yes….retroactive abortion should be legal.

So, you are in agreement with Maggie Sanger, who wanted to wipe out little black babies.
Or is it…just wipe out the kids that are white and potential racists…. ?

Ein_Rant December 4, 2010 at 2:23 am

Me thinks the fascist Bastard would be content to MURDER any and all who disagree with his delusional dope-smoking vision of Utopia – you know, that place that doesn't exist – by it's very definition…

SorosBot December 5, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Try opening up a dictionary and looking up the word "joke"; although that probably wouldn't help you, since someone who admits to being a "GaltFan" is so stupid, it's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:20 am

I think we just found two more candidates for that retroactive procedure.

SorosBot December 5, 2010 at 12:03 pm

Or one more candidate pretending to be two different ones.

weejee December 3, 2010 at 8:20 pm

Is Madeline Kahn his speech therapist? Maybe he goes to an all boyz school and he's going to cover Ms. Kahn's role as Lili von Shtupp, the Teutonic Titwillow in a stage version of Blazing Saddles.

Is it twue what they say about how you people are gifted? …. It's twue, it's twue

Radiotherapy December 3, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Lili von Shtupp, loosely translated, White Fuck.

Mojopo December 3, 2010 at 9:09 pm

Niiiice. I miss her much.

imissopus December 3, 2010 at 9:30 pm

I was thinking of Barbara Walters. "Andwew, if you were a twee what kind of twee would you be?"

"A white oak."

weejee December 3, 2010 at 9:40 pm

"Now Andrew that wouldn't be a "white oak" with an early American 13-looped hemp macrome dangling down?"

"Yew weewee catch on qwik."

TheMightyHaltor December 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm

I can't believe the voice of Homestar Runner is racist.

blauenaugen December 3, 2010 at 11:42 pm

I thought I was the only one who saw the connection…

zhubajie December 3, 2010 at 8:30 pm

People sometimes out-grow this crapola. Happened to James Ellroy. I rejected it early on because the right-tard racists had already abused and mistreated me throughout my short life-time.

sati_demise December 3, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Wait until he figures out he is gay. I mean, he is so damn cute and can act and has a gay friend, so it is only a matter of time.
He may have to leave that particular group upon self realization.

iburl December 3, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Or he could bury those gay urges way, way deep and be a huge star in GOP politics. (and Bathroom stall funtimes)

JackObin December 3, 2010 at 8:36 pm

He rather resembles the great Dan Quayle, both physically and intellectually. I wonder if he can spell potato? White potato, of course.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 3, 2010 at 8:41 pm

This may be a bit off-topic, but Andrew Breitbart is an insecure, fearful Caucasian-American who feels a combination of dread and envy when he sees male black athletes or models. He has fantasies of wearing a Klan robe and hood, and happening upon Whitney Houston in the woods at night, by a bonfire. He loves to be spanked, really hard, with a copy of Atlas Shrugged, and called a naughty white boy.

(I saw some unexplained zero pee point comments above, and thought the Breitbart Bumbuddies could use some Shabbas fun.)

glamourdammerung December 3, 2010 at 8:55 pm

I think the fantasy involves black males "raping" him in a public toilet.

Other than that, you are probably correct.

Rotundo_ December 4, 2010 at 3:30 pm

Agreed, Andy woudn't have a clue what to do with a semi-conscious, drug hazed Whitney, but I would imagine he would probably figure out what to do with a handsome young drug hazed man of any color. Come to think of it, I'm not sure anyone knows what to do with Whitney anymore.

snoopyfan2010 December 3, 2010 at 9:27 pm

Whitney Houston??? I thought John Meyer had a thing for Kerry Washington.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:21 am

You've just added to my confusion about pee points. I've become a pee whore, which makes me sound like David Vitter's date, but what I mean is that I've been begging for followers and still can't get off the fucking 80 I've been stuck on forever.

I got two followers today, newbies who don't know any other way to get the fucking follow window off their screen. Still, I'll take 'em where I get 'em. Which, oddly, also sounds like a Vitter comment.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 4, 2010 at 12:29 am

Dusty, I've learned that the Intense Debate system weights thumbs-downs more heavily than thumbs-ups. So marauding douchebags can affect your whore diamond points more than your disciples can.

I just gave you a boost. But as for me, I've decided to cherish the hatred of idiots, and be happy with a leaky bladder half-full of pee points.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:53 am

Do you mean to say that shitheads roam the halls of the wonket and give us all thumbs down so we'll have low wonkasteem? Damn.

ChuckieJesus December 4, 2010 at 1:59 pm

haters gonna hate

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 4, 2010 at 4:36 pm

That seems unlikely. I've never said anything remotely offensive on here.

natoslug December 4, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Fine, since you're begging for it, I'll follow you. I expect firsts in the orgy though.

HistoriCat December 4, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Is this a formal orgy? Do I need to bring something to eat? Damn it – why do I always find out about these things at the last minute!

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 9:47 pm

As the fab Mister Big would be it, Absofuckinglutely.

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 2:41 pm

This may be a bit off-topic, but Andrew Breitbart is an insecure, fearful Caucasian-American who feels a combination of dread and envy when he sees male black athletes or models.

Where is your evidence to support this judgemental claim?

SorosBot December 4, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Every single thing the racist clown has ever said or written about black people.

Crank_Tango December 4, 2010 at 2:48 pm

and loser trolls are losers. Shouldn't you be off somewhere protesting about how Nobama is taking away your Medicaid?

doxastic December 4, 2010 at 3:39 pm

My high school sex ed class in 1979.

glamourdammerung December 4, 2010 at 4:44 pm

STILL waiting for your evidence to support your claim that Hitler managed to nationalize German healthcare since it was done six years before he was born.

Or are you just going to keep running away from little old me to spew more outright lies here because you have at best a belief system with no basis in reality and simply believe whatever a serial liar named Breitbart tells you without question?

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 9:52 pm

What tells me the troll doesn't subscribe to replies so s/he/it can slink away somehow thinking all the commie lefties have been put in their respective places.

Don't bother becoming a liberal, sweetie. You're not that smart nor are your comments grammatically correct. The wonkeratti would eat you alive for nothing but an apostrophe offense. Oh, wait. We've already done that, haven't we?

DashboardBuddha December 4, 2010 at 10:38 pm

I heard a rumor that Andy B once snorted coke out of a gay hookers behind because he was told it was a sure fire way to lose weight.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 4, 2010 at 11:37 pm

If it's on the internet, it's true. I heard that Andy B was kicked out of Overeaters' Anonymous for sitting in the back row at meetings and jerking off into Pepperoni and Cheese HotPockets.

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 11:59 pm

Ooo, this is fun. I heard he likes his wife to insert Stouffer's French Bread pizzas hot out of the oven into his rectum while he sucks Ann Coulter's cock.

DashboardBuddha December 5, 2010 at 12:17 am

At some point this is going to get so horrible that someone will have to yell, "The Aristocrats!"

doxastic December 5, 2010 at 8:57 am

I heard he's no longer welcome at the Humane Society after the smush film incident of '07

UW8316154 December 5, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Oh, you just had the bring the French into this, didn't you?

DashboardBuddha December 5, 2010 at 12:16 am

that was harsh of OA…Andy B was just in the wrong meeting. He thought he was in Sex and Love Addiction Anonymous and mistakenly believed he had to establish his bona fides.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 5, 2010 at 3:12 pm

You mean that doesn't work?

psilage December 3, 2010 at 8:43 pm

I bet you hippie commies even wanna reduce his tax cut.

C_R_Eature December 3, 2010 at 8:44 pm

"Tonight on the 'What If…' show… this is from little Andrew, in Red Nutz, Idaho: 'What If the Hitler Youth Had YouTube?' "
Seriously…this little guy didn't just spring fully formed out of the earth. He was carefully nurtured and fed a diet of hatred, extreme ignorance and misplaced outrage. How many more of them are out there? There goes my theory that the children will save civilization…

Guppy06 December 3, 2010 at 8:49 pm

I think Fudd Jr. here has a future as Sarah Palin's next ghost writer.

ChuckieJesus December 4, 2010 at 2:00 pm

ghostwhitaw

real_dc_native December 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm

I just pity the poor boy. But his parents are beyond vile. Makes me wish there was a hell because they deserve a special place in it.

And… I'm never clicking on these links without reading the comments first ever again.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 4, 2010 at 10:20 am

Oh, there is a hell for these people. It's called Family Court.

comrad_darkness December 3, 2010 at 8:56 pm

I haven't watched the video, but I'm going to guess he's tired of sex education and is demanding schools have sex training.

Mojopo December 3, 2010 at 9:17 pm

I'm sure there's a fat girl with Billy Bob teeth who will teach him all about the ways of cracker love in some tarp covered jalopy in the front yard.

Tewibble. Vewy.

el_chupacabra December 3, 2010 at 9:01 pm

cwacka ass cwacka

twoeightnine December 3, 2010 at 9:02 pm

Was any of that in proper English?

Mojopo December 3, 2010 at 9:04 pm

Poor kid. That gives me tewibble thadness.

MaxUdargo December 3, 2010 at 9:06 pm

Shouldn't cute racist kids be more interesting? Don't quit your day job, kiddo.

user-of-owls December 3, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Near the end we see a vivid display of what happens when you allow white people to teach violin.

SheriffRoscoe December 4, 2010 at 3:17 am

Hey the kid has an ear, I tells ya! He played that one note out of tune, and then adjusted it like an ar-teest! A real, honest to god AR-TEEST!

realmurkin December 3, 2010 at 9:21 pm

And this is why Germany outlawed homeschooling.

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 2:42 pm

And this is why Germany outlawed homeschooling.

We are persecuting homeschoolers here in this nation. Soon it WILL be outlawed.

LocalGirlMakesGoo December 4, 2010 at 4:23 pm

At this point we get the fact that you're not going anywhere, that trolling's your thing and you're sticking to it… but you think you could maybe brush up on your reading comprehension and basic composition skills? I find that you're not fully grasping the scope of the argument, and it is very important to stay on point.

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 10:10 pm

Yeah, and ther eis no need to requote every post you reply to. That's why there is a "reply" button, at all.

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:26 am

How did that homeschooling work out for you?

iburl December 3, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Baby Talk, Baby Talk, it's a wonder you can walk.
This kid could be the next "Sarah!" because he basically has the same level of IQ, empathy, and logic.

BlackRhino December 3, 2010 at 9:50 pm

On a serious tip, my oldest daughter had a classmate who teased her little sister. When she seen this white kid harassing her sister the oldest girl ran over and “wham” kicked the kid square in the balls.

I thought I’d share…

PsycWench December 3, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Is this that kid? Because I'd like to shake your daughter's hand.

iburl December 3, 2010 at 9:54 pm

BTW,
DEATH TO THE KLAN.

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 2:43 pm

DEATH TO THE KLAN.

Yeah, all 10 thousand of them..

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:26 am

10,000 + 1

UW8316154 December 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Ha! I *knew*, evven before looking, that our tiresome troll would have some pointless post spewing shit in response. And I was right. Predictible troll is predictable.

PuckStopsHere December 3, 2010 at 9:55 pm

We gotta look at this all weekend? I deserve my sub-standard p-score. I can't think of anything funny after I watch this. I want to cry instead.

user-of-owls December 3, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Rumor has it that Andrew is going to replace his elfin sidekick Alex with someone with more gravitas: Joe the White Plumber.

ttommyunger December 3, 2010 at 10:09 pm

Considering that I live in Georgia, I don't have to watch clips like this to see hatred born of ignorance and fear. I can just look out a window. …Sigh.

mrblifil December 3, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Yeah…this is not going to end well.

Janinthepan December 3, 2010 at 10:24 pm

I bet this kid accompanies his parents when they go to Universities and shout out to random college kids they are all going to hell. In fact, I think I might have seen him at Ohio University on College Green.

imalittleteap0t December 3, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Ha! Ha! Your pug is a Chinese Maoist/Uighur Muslin Insurgent! Feel the infiltration! Andrew, prepare to be assploded!

Beetagger December 3, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Wace mixing is wong. Wemember.

horsedreamer_1 December 3, 2010 at 10:40 pm

In twenty years, he'll not be gay, he'll just be another underemployed NASCAR &/or WWE obsessing asshole in stone-washed jeans & tank-top, popping out kids with his live-in girlfriend & getting food-stamps. But, remember, he won't be the problem. The blacks, with their fried chicken & watermelon, will be.

I've seen this show before.

Jukesgrrl December 3, 2010 at 10:52 pm

Skoal Rebel dressed as Justin Beiber for Halloween?

Monsieur_Grumpe December 3, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Ha!

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 3, 2010 at 11:14 pm

"Skoal Webel."

moralturpentine December 3, 2010 at 11:03 pm

Jesuth Chwist!

Don't make me come over there, Mr. Slave.

fuflans December 3, 2010 at 11:07 pm

looks 10, dance 3

slithytoves December 3, 2010 at 11:13 pm

I'm sorry – there's a Toyotathon going on – what was your point?

eatingraoul December 3, 2010 at 11:18 pm

The KKK took my baby away

obfuscator2 December 3, 2010 at 11:31 pm

this kid's best chance to get laid after his freshman year is to be homeschooled.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:14 am

That's a terrible thing to say. I gave you a thumbs up.

obfuscator2 December 4, 2010 at 12:40 am

i was also going to say something along the lines of "he's probably already been "laid" if he's spent his youth frequenting churches like the one in the second video."

will this kid's adult life entail:

making meth in a trailer park

or

serving as a 4 term republican congressman

discuss.

DashboardBuddha December 4, 2010 at 9:56 am

Oedipus, spedipus…as long as you love your mother.

DashboardBuddha December 3, 2010 at 11:38 pm

How is this not child abuse?

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:13 am

I knew I should have read a few comments before I shot my big mouth off.

transfatz December 4, 2010 at 1:31 am

Don't feel bad. I think many of us want to say that this kid is being manipulated by the adults around him. He is too young to understand much of anything other than what is told him. The good news is that when (not if) he rebels against this crap he will probably be a better person for it. The bad news is that even then he will be left a legacy of shame for his own words and actions and anger against those who used their power over him so cruelly.

DashboardBuddha December 4, 2010 at 9:55 am

Not a bit of that. I particularly like the part about "serial-killer-in-the-making" Spot on.

north_of_moscow December 3, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Help. I'm twapped in the kwoset.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 1:01 am

Why do you not have a thousand pee points for this comment? Every time I read it, I laugh. Concise, funny and cruel. The perfect combination for the wonket.

To all the wonkeratti: Say the above comment (mouth it, really, or people will think you've lost your marbles) and don't laugh. I dare you.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:12 am

And the parents of this serial-killer-in-the-making haven't been charged with child abuse because . . .?

pauletteanne December 4, 2010 at 2:44 pm

And the parents of this serial-killer-in-the-making haven't been charged with child abuse because . . .?

The YES WE CAN Brigade teacher was not charged with child abuse because??

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 10:01 pm

One) You should take the time to put quotation marks around the quoted comment to which you are responding. Otherwise, your semi-literate troll shit seems to be written correctly for a few lines. When you switch into trollese, it's confusing.

Two) In winger world, do double question marks have the same impact as all caps?

PLAY BY THE RULES MUCH??????

VaWyo December 4, 2010 at 12:17 am

What made me look at Wonkette before turning off the computer and going to bed? Thank god I picked up that ambien refill the other day.

My prediction: this kid will rape someone before he is 16 and murder a black kid before he turns 18. If he can wait that long.

People should really have to get some kind of a clearance from CPS before being allowed to leave the hospital with a kid. Clearly his parents should not have reproduced.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:22 am

On the other hand, this kid could grow up angry and bitter at what was done to him as a child, all in the name of Jesus (I assume. I only made it to 1:53 in the first one and gave up) and turn into Sam Kineson. But with a speech defect.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 12:26 am

On one hand, I pity the poor kid. If he ever gets away from his home school, the other kids pwobably make fun of how he talks. Sowwy. I can't help myself.

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 1:03 am

If someone could translate this video into Standard American English for me, it'd be greatly appreciated.

Well, he an I have one thing in common, we both totally don't get Justin Bieber, but that's about where the similarities end.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 1:26 am

Jesus. the Lunesta kicked in. Better stagger off the bed (I hope I can manage to brush my teeth first). Later, Losers.

Wait–in spite of the narcotic blur I see that I got another pee. I'm really on a roll. Bought a lottery ticket several months ago and it paid off–$15. I bought 6 tickets with power play extra on them and pocketed the change. I expect to win big any day now. I mean, my $15 win and an additional pee must be good omens. And the little dog we though had been eaten by a coyote or bobcat came home after three days.

Nitey, nite.

snake_farts December 4, 2010 at 1:28 am

Looks like Andrew's mommy is "Klan Spokeswoman Rachel Pendergraft". Charming. It's nice to see the Wonder Showzen folks have gotten traction in the CSA.

BruceLee5000 December 4, 2010 at 3:08 am

The awesomest thing would be for Social Services to come and haul this kid away and put him up with a fucking Huxtables foster family deep in the heart of the Bronx.

fartknocker December 4, 2010 at 4:15 am

I whink Bwistol whould whmake a gweat fwuck buddy. Iw pwomise two nwot gwo upwet stwairs Musses Pwalin and bwut fwuck wyour dwaughter. Her hwass is pwetty big. Whill I bwe on dwa teeveee on Sundway? Iwill make wher dance with wall the da stwars.

Where did this spawn on Satan come from?

DCHatesMe December 4, 2010 at 6:05 am

Very similar to Andy Rooney in style, subject matter, and coherance.

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 2:19 pm

But without the huge eyebrows.

inedal December 4, 2010 at 6:58 am

seeing a couple minutes of this reptard makes me feel glad i left USA yrs ago to live in europe, where we get free socialized medicine and other goodies that amurricans can only dream about!
keep it up usa as you go down the drain…..

comrad_darkness December 4, 2010 at 10:09 am

Be sure to send back those billions we lent your banks to stay afloat. Thanks.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 10:42 pm

Let's just hope they don't send this freeloading dipshit back to us.

x111e7thst December 4, 2010 at 8:31 am

We excel at made for WebTV idiocy, China is reduced to taking the lead in high speed trains and Gay, Commie shit like that.
USA USA!11!1

neiltheblaze December 4, 2010 at 9:34 am

Youse guys cwack me up.

NewYorkJew December 4, 2010 at 10:00 am

race-mixing anyone?

DoktorZoom December 4, 2010 at 12:00 pm

What, like letting Indy cars compete in the Winston Cup?

genxr December 4, 2010 at 4:33 pm

I'm hoping to do a little race-mixing this weekend if you know what I mean

refudiatedness December 4, 2010 at 10:03 am

Adolf Bieber will do anything to upstage his big brother.

VinnyThePooh December 4, 2010 at 10:18 am

I was waiting to hear "Wascally Faggit."

harry_palmer December 4, 2010 at 10:40 am

Kiw the Faggot! KIW THE FAGGOT!

jim89048 December 5, 2010 at 2:36 pm

To the tune of "Wide of the Vawkywies", nice!

WordSaladNation December 4, 2010 at 11:05 am

When you're homeschooled, you don't get to visit a speech/language pathologist, I guess.

finallyhappy December 4, 2010 at 6:18 pm

you can but you have to sign up "with the system". My son went to a private pre- school(because there are no public ones if you don't qualify for headstarT) but we took him over to the local public school where he got speech and occupational therapy(and then my son went to that school K-5). However, I am sure these parents don't want to set foot in a public school.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 10:39 pm

His mother IS his speech therapist. It runs in the family.

Redhead December 4, 2010 at 11:28 am

When did Westboro Baptist discover youtube?

gurukalehuru December 4, 2010 at 1:13 pm

It's a tragedy. We are all doomed from birth to be, at least to some extent, what our parents made us.
I'm so glad my parents weren't racists. Well, maybe my Dad, a little bit, with the jokes now and again, but never in a mean way, and they were always friendly to our black friends.

BTWBFDIMHO December 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm

His next movie: Trailer Alone.

jus_wonderin December 4, 2010 at 1:59 pm

OT, but, is Pauletteanne for real????????????

doxastic December 4, 2010 at 3:52 pm

Tthe racist child seems to be attracting more trolls than usual. I'll be damned if they don't all have the same weird ranty cokehead finger-jabbing, close-talking writing style. Just a mush of declarations, random caps and exclamation points.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 10:37 pm

THIS IS LANGUAGE UP WITH WHICH I WILL NOT PUT!!!!!!!!???????????

Paulwhathefuck is the only troll I've noticed. Oh–wait a minute. I did give someone my first thumbs down. Maybe I'm too generous of attitude and don't recognize the trolls amongst us.

glamourdammerung December 4, 2010 at 4:50 pm

OT, but, is Pauletteanne for real????????????

Just like any other conservative at this point, they are either not real or have mistaken being obnoxious just to be annoying with having a valid political stance. Either way, it speaks volumes about the conservative "movement" at the present time.

SorosBot December 5, 2010 at 2:26 am

Not just real, she's for reals, for real. And real stupid.

MistaEko December 4, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Homeschooled because the parents couldn't stand the leftist diction classes.

CrunchyKnee December 4, 2010 at 2:25 pm

He has a futoor pwaying that fiddew.

SorosBot December 4, 2010 at 2:29 pm

Someone should hook this kid up with the girls from Prussian Blue, the twin blonde teen girl white supremacist pop singers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prussian_Blue

Crank_Tango December 4, 2010 at 2:41 pm

His sisters are already being billed as the "New Prussian Blue" so in a way he has already hooked up with them.

fuflans December 4, 2010 at 2:48 pm

also this was not artful: stilted, pedantic, unclear narrative line, sloppy camera work. the dog is an absurb distraction that serves no purpose while the ghastly violin is more reflective of beckett or – dare i say? – bergman than a political statement.

if 'whitepridetv' wants to be either, it needs to do better than 'andrew'.

doxastic December 4, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Give him a couple of years, and he'll learn to slow-play that hand: "I'm not a racist, but…"

tertius3 December 4, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Sounds to me like all the hate is coming from the comments on this video.

AngryGeometer December 4, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Poor kid. Definitely sets off the NABLAr if youknowhatimean. Hating non-white people probably serves as a very good outlet for his own burgeoning self-hatred, and helps his parents overlook the fact that their lad is a little light in whatever kind of loafers really, really racist people wear (not penny loafers of course — that traitor Lincoln being on the penny and all.)

markusgarvey December 4, 2010 at 4:37 pm

they want to take your kids away if you get caught with a little bit of pot but this is ok?….

elpinche December 4, 2010 at 5:59 pm

I see all the good post-natal abortion jokes have been taken.

jim89048 December 5, 2010 at 2:41 pm

18th through 20th trimester can be dicey, but successful…

evan7257 December 4, 2010 at 6:58 pm

I'm pretty sure this is a live action Homestar Runner from the bizarro racist universe.

donner_froh December 4, 2010 at 8:14 pm

I have a feeling that at some point during the next several years this annoying little piece of shit is going to encounter people who don't agree with him and get stomped.

This would be a tragedy–a tragedy if the stompers had to do time or were punished in any way.

philpjfry December 4, 2010 at 8:23 pm

I don't wish anything ill for Andrew, he doesn't know any better. His parents however should be invited to lion feeding time at the zoo

NYNYNY December 4, 2010 at 8:40 pm

First rule of journalism: You either have a puppy on your lap, or a puppet on your hand. We call it P & P. Thank you University of Idaho for teaching the fundamentals to our future broadcasters.

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 10:32 pm

This kid's from Idaho? Christ. Oklahoma's better than Idaho. We at least have enough Mexicans, Indians and black people to give us a little diversity. But there was this white enclave in the hills of eastern Oklahoma–White Supremists who helped school a good young Christian veteran named Tim McVeigh.

Young Andrew should patent those McVeigh commemorative shirts before someone else in Idaho starts producing them. I'm telling ya' folks, they're going to be a huge hit.

Fare la Volpe December 5, 2010 at 12:39 am

If you watch his other videos, he reveals that he lives in Indiana. This makes perfect sense, of course, because Indiana used to literally be KKK headquarters. The fact that this state went for Obama in '08 actually lends some credit to the teabagger meme that the election got stolen: no self-respecting Indianan would even talk to a black guy, let alone vote him President.

HistoriCat December 4, 2010 at 9:03 pm

David Brooks better watch out; if Alex Pareene find out about this kid there are going to be some changes made to the Hack Thirty list.

(http://www.salon.com/news/war_room_hack_thirty/index.html for anyone who hasn't seen this gem)

BarackMyWorld December 5, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Thanks for that.

exitBxC December 4, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Dad, why are you my nephew? Wait…? No, that works.

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 10:19 pm

I can't be the only one that thought that this little bastard had the cadence of a Glenn Beck, right? Really, even after just a few seconds of watching this my first thought was that this kind of media isn't really anything more than a farm league for Fox News.

Anyone know where this kid is from? Hopefully, he's in a place hat when he gets old enough, his town wouldn't tolerate his family's shit because it would be cute, anymore. But, even up here in Michigan, there are some isolated areas where there stuff doesn't gete squashed by the community at-large. Just look at the Hutaree. It took the feds to head that shit off.

PuckStopsHere December 4, 2010 at 11:03 pm

Hey, I'm from MI, too. Maybe that's whats causing the Wonkette to slow down.

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 10:21 pm

BTW, totally off subject, but who the hell is the webmaster around, here? I've been around here for years, and whenever I've had a technical problem, I've emailed various editors and have NEVER gotten a response. Not one.

Currently, after browing for about 15 minutes or so, the pages become terribly slow. The cursor takes forever to move, and I don't have any idea of why this is. I'm using Firfox if that helps. Is it a script thing? Anyone else have this problem?

PuckStopsHere December 4, 2010 at 11:02 pm

I do have the problem you describe when using IE. Seems to work okay with Chrome, though.

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 11:45 pm

I've used both IE and Firefox and they are all I have (and all that I'm willing to use). Both do this.

BarackMyWorld December 5, 2010 at 10:18 pm
DoktorZoom December 5, 2010 at 2:14 am

Same problem here; both IE and Firefox slow to a crawl when I'm reading Wonkette. Chrome stays fast 'n' E-Z. You might want to try Chrome, if only for the Wonketting.

Negropolis December 5, 2010 at 3:02 am

This all seems like something they could easily correct if they wanted to. I don't want to be a whiner, but it really can make the browsing experience, here, miserable. Particularly for folks like myself, who don't get on until later at night and likes to read through the days threads.

iburl December 5, 2010 at 10:11 pm

u might try disabling flash…
"This all seems like something they could easily correct if they wanted to"
Not true. Since you're the only one complaining, I'd say you're suffering from Pee-Ce-itis… get a mac.

doxastic December 5, 2010 at 8:50 am

No issues with Safari…

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Me neither. Mr. Jobs must like the wonket.

UW8316154 December 5, 2010 at 1:41 pm

You just have to wait a few minutes for the internet to catch up.

jim89048 December 5, 2010 at 2:50 pm

Thumb-worthy, that.

jim89048 December 5, 2010 at 2:47 pm

Usually when my internets do this, it's because my anti-norton is working overtime.

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2010 at 10:10 pm

The internets are TUBES! Like all tubes, they get clogged.

chickensmack December 5, 2010 at 1:46 am

I just want to say for the record that I now fear Christians a lot more. They still talk and get guidance from things that don't exist, and they're armed, and they can make spot judgments on the quality of your person.

baxterthepug December 5, 2010 at 7:32 am

The only sentient being in that video was the pug, who was obviously trying to escape from the stupidity.

iburl December 5, 2010 at 10:04 pm

My black Pug wanted a fight.

baxterthepug December 6, 2010 at 6:16 am

Black pugs are awesome, although in my experience most people seem to think they are french bulldogs.

JustPixelz December 5, 2010 at 10:59 am

"The Andrew Show" is brought to you by the number 88 and the letters KKK. Stay tuned for "Kill the Jews", followed by "Kill the Colored", and later "The Glenn Beck Show".

Barry White Zombie December 5, 2010 at 11:56 am

Mrs. White Zombie watched this on our home computer and now youtube is recommending "white power" videos to us…

BarackMyWorld December 5, 2010 at 10:15 pm

I can relate. Amazon keeps recommending wing-nut best sellers to me because I used their site to get a picture of Palin's book cover for photoshop purposes.

Sassomatic December 5, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Yeah, I just had to apologize to my laptop for taking it to that website.

freakishlywrong December 5, 2010 at 12:27 pm

Fuck. And conservatives are squawking about Wikileaks? This is 1,000 times more embarrassing.

awesome_dude December 5, 2010 at 12:44 pm

Literally?

DustBowlBlues December 5, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Bummer for this kid to be the weekend post on the wonket. Nearly 400 snarks about what a dipshit he and his parents are, minus a few trolls sneaking into the woodpile.

Sassomatic December 5, 2010 at 10:54 pm

My favorite thing about this kid is that I feel perfectly free to make fun of his speech impediment, and also to hope that he gets beat up at school.

BarackMyWorld December 6, 2010 at 1:04 am

Wacist whants weally wawwant wedundant widicule.

Sassomatic December 5, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Stuff White People Like: sex dens in churches.

Liz_Lemon December 6, 2010 at 2:32 am

I so love reading the comments on here. They're hilarious. I <3 so many liberals

God, this kid is fucking repulsive. Anyone like him are vile creatures. He's probably gonna get a contract to work on Fox when he gets more famous. To try to justify his comments, they'll just say he was being politically incorrect

bubberella December 6, 2010 at 8:41 am

There's 2:39 of my life that I'll never get back.

Allmighty_Manos December 6, 2010 at 9:05 am

I want to cry. Seriously. Large swarths of this country really do suck.

binarian December 6, 2010 at 9:21 am

<no snark>
I just waded through all the comments just so I didn't have watch this racist drivel delivered through a Justin Bieber-like portal. Families like this have probably existed since the Reconstruction Era. Unfortunately for us they have discovered the Internets and we have to view first hand the methodology of racism; childhood indoctrination. His parents will suffer for doing this to him I hope. And if the trolls stop by again…..you are pathetic, regurgitating the NeoCon spew you've been fed by whatever agenda driven "news" organ you prefer. Grow the fuck up. </no snark>

frailamerica December 6, 2010 at 11:14 am

What's with the Sam Donaldson puppet?

GOPCrusher December 6, 2010 at 12:48 pm

I only made it to 1:15 and I want to hunt this little bastard down and do unmentionable things to his parents.

jcharity December 6, 2010 at 1:45 pm

I'm a person and my name is Anakin!

sodomite December 6, 2010 at 2:23 pm

That's it. I'm getting another vasectomy.

marinmaven December 6, 2010 at 8:56 pm

As a lover of pugs, I say we take away their pug and give them to an african-american gay couple.

While we are at it, I agree that social services need to pay their parents a visit. It is one thing to teach your children hate, it is another to make them host a racist series of videos for the world to see.

el_polacko December 7, 2010 at 5:11 am

after reading these comments, the kid comes off as pretty sweet. i've never read such vile hatred than from the 'adults' posting here !! wishing rape and a horrible death upon a child just because he has different views than yours is disgusting. shame on you people ! HE's a hate-monger ?? get a mirror !

sezme December 7, 2010 at 5:30 pm

This is just like "Tomorrow belongs to me" from Cabaret but with lisping. Kind of poignantly vile.

killbot December 9, 2010 at 1:06 am

show us where they touched you on this vampire doll, son.

benjo765 December 23, 2010 at 10:26 am

The spirit of angry-racist-old-man is strong in this one.

Abbott August 31, 2011 at 11:03 am

–WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING US LOOK AT ALL THESE TERRIBLE THINGS?
I can't imagine it's doing you any good, exposing yourself to all this toxic waste either. —
The same reason the other commentors keep declaring the kid must be home-schooled, or that this is typical of opposition to Obama, or try to pair him with the Palins, or claiming that he'll fit in on FOX News.

Liberals know they can't come up with actual, coherent, fact-based arguments to defend Obama's actions and record, so instead, Wonkette keeps playing the race-card.

Negropolis December 4, 2010 at 2:05 am

You suck at trolling. You suck hard.

He's a "little" racist just like you're just a little bit of a bitch. BTW, that little kid hates your Jew guts, and he doesn't even know why. But, then again, you hate yourself, so what do you care? You get off on hate, oh, and the dad and step-brother plowing you on a near-nightly basis.

tertius3 December 4, 2010 at 4:06 pm

It appears the hate is all in the comments toward this boy, not in anything he said.

4TheTurnstiles December 4, 2010 at 7:25 pm

I'd say that indoctrinating your kids to hate and fear the exercise of religious freedom is worse yet. Indoctinating your kids to think that paying taxes for legitimate government services is evil, but supporting illegal wars abroad on the pretense of Supporting the Military is worse yet.

Frankly, I'd like to know why the Breitbart crew hates precisely the freedoms and responsibilities that made this country great and still worth engaging with your dumb ass for.

Troubledog December 4, 2010 at 8:48 pm

What are you wearing?

/loosens cravat provocatively

doxastic December 5, 2010 at 9:15 am

Between two strawmen arguments and a racist kid with a TV show, I'll take the racist.

UW8316154 December 5, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Indoctrinating your children is wrong, period.

4TheTurnstiles December 4, 2010 at 7:26 pm

Define fascism and explain how Democratic party policy or practice bears any resemblance to it.

If you want to be taken seriously, try to learn what the words mean before you run off at the mouth like an illiterate jackass.

comrad_darkness December 4, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Marketing Slogan == Fascism

Take that you burger flipping Stalinists telling us to "Have it Our Way" or insisting we're "Lovin' It!"

Hint: Mindless drones screaming with flying spittle at their fellow citizens that questioning the president's illegal activities in a time of a war that he started by choice for his own daddycocksucking Oedipus reasons is a hell of a lot closer to a fascist state's actual description than a slogan telling people they can better the basic human needs of their neighbors by getting off their ass and helping out at a nearby community organization. Indefinite detention without trial and twisting the law to justify the state's human rights abuses are also really high on the list, near the top in fact. As is turning wars over to professional mercenaries. But Bush never got a blow job so he is up for sainthood, right?

glamourdammerung December 4, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Since you are pretending to care about facts, you did claim Hitler nationalized Germany's healthcare. As this was done six years before his birth in Austria, you really should explain yourself.

SorosBot December 4, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Well, yeah; fascism is a specific, right-wing dogma and it is, by definition, impossible to have liberal fascism. And once again, what the fuck were you talking about with "Little 2nd grade kids learning to 'praise a leader' isnt brainwashing at ALL!! "? And why is it that when spout out complete gibberish and I ask you to explain what the fuck you are talking about you never respond?

Negropolis December 5, 2010 at 3:00 am

You are painfully stupid, my dear.

jakegittes December 5, 2010 at 11:32 am

What does the use of the "pot calling the kettle black" metaphor say about your subliminal attitude towards all things not white?

marinmaven December 6, 2010 at 11:28 am

Miss Pauletteanne, our only mistake is we voted for someone who was a moderate who wanted to turn this country into a Purple country. We miscalculated and should have elected a rabid liberal that would truly live up to the hype you put on Obama.We should have voted for a president and congress who would shock and awe you with single payer health care, a carbon tax, nationalizing gay marriage rights, and a whole menu of truly liberal, and progressive programs. You have no idea what liberalism is. If you did, you would know Obama isn't liberal.

We were hoping you and your side loved this country more than your theology and political views. We thought that after seeing the stinking mess your political philosophy brought to this country and the damage YOU have done, you would have the modesty and humility to help us fix these daunting problems or stand aside and let the responsible adults clean up your mess.

We were wrong. You guys and the people you vote for do not care about this country. You are just waiting for the race and religious war you desperately want so your God can rapture you away. Your kind poisons the earth, ruins our economy and start fights you can't possibly win and then have the gall to blame Obama.

It is your ilk who acts out Fascism by pissing our constitution when it protects individuals. It is your ilk who eagerly trade freedom for security. It is your ilk who wishes for Gays, liberals, other religions, and people of color to just disappear from this country. Ideas of Death panels and FEMA camps came from your side's twisted minds, not ours.

We have already determined that your Pauletteanne need to go back to 2nd grade and repeat basic civics and history. It is you that have been brainwashed to ignore facts of history, our system of government, and basic logic skills. Critical thinking eludes you and you are made of the stuff that Fascism thrives on. It is your side that is perfectly aligned with fascism. You are the bullies. You are the fearful. You are the ones who scapegoat the powerless.

You guys changed the world, but you have left it worse than it was given to you. You have shat upon our Constitution and the spirit of the what is good about this country. You have changed the world like someone who doesn't care about the next generations.

My president might be milktoast, but your president was a war criminal with an epic level of willful incompetence.

STFU

DustBowlBlues December 4, 2010 at 10:12 pm

When the fascist commie black loving liberals are finally in control of everything, apostrophe offenses will be misdemeanors. The third will be kicked up to a felony. Let's don't even talk about what kind of hard time to split an infinitive will get you.

Shouldn't we help the troll before the grammarapocalypse? I'm tired of correcting the troll's grammar. It's your turn.

PuckStopsHere December 4, 2010 at 11:17 pm

I don't know about crescent rolls, but I do at least know how to defend myself against someone attacking me with a banana and several other variety of fruit. (Hint: It involves the use of a handgun and the watching of endless hours of "Monty Python" re-runs.)

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 11:29 pm

I'll field that one: some time ago a grade-school class was doing some sort of school program that involved singing a song about various U.S. presidents. One of the verses was about Obama. Fox and the right-wing blogs took the video clip of the kids singing ONLY that verse and spent a few days flogging the shit out of it as a "chilling" example of the way the public schools are brainwashing our precious snowflakes to sing paeans to Obama as if he were Stalin or Kim Jong-Il or some such shit.

As for the second question, pauletteanne does not respond because it is just a robot that can only spit out Beckian talking points, not a human being capable of critical thought or stringing multiple ideas together into a cohesive argument. It thus just posts nonsensical crap like the above to bug us. I suggest everyone just thumb it down and go get a drink.

glamourdammerung December 4, 2010 at 11:36 pm

As for the second question, pauletteanne does not respond because it is just a robot that can only spit out Beckian talking points, not a human being capable of critical thought or stringing multiple ideas together into a cohesive argument. It thus just posts nonsensical crap like the above to bug us. I suggest everyone just thumb it down and go get a drink.

So an insect mentality in other words?

SorosBot December 5, 2010 at 1:36 am

Wait, they were singing a song about Obama? That sounds so chilling that everyone should get up in arms about it, and it would certainly in no way make people look like hysterical morons who overreact to anything dealing with the black President no matter how innocuous.

It is interesting how the right has constructed their own little world of imaginary outrages to the point that they will spout off crap about some little thing like this as if it's some giant conspiracy here on a liberal blog and think we'll actually what the fuck they're talking about.

imissopus December 4, 2010 at 11:53 pm

Correct. Of course if the Breitbart troll who was forever telling us about our liberal insect mentality were here he would fail to see the irony. I'd say his name but I fear it would summon him from the depths of whatever bizarro dimension he lives in.

glamourdammerung December 5, 2010 at 1:22 am

Oh, I have a suspicion they are here.

And not just because this one does the same thing with ignoring whenever any solidly refutes their outlandish claims.

Neilist December 5, 2010 at 2:14 am

Because of those faggy British handgun laws, the only thing available to defend oneself in England usually is a fruit.

And then they arrest you for throwing the homosexual at your attacker!!!!

DoktorZoom December 5, 2010 at 2:18 am

Not true at all. Persons wishing to defend themselves from fruit-bearing attackers still have access to 16 ton weights and man-eating tigers.

Neilist December 5, 2010 at 11:51 am

A 16 ton weight takes too long to re-load.

And what makes you think Mr. Woods is gay?

(The ex-wife so traumatized him with that 9 iron, eh? Explains the rumors about him and Eliot Spitzer holding hands in the Castro . . . )

jim89048 December 5, 2010 at 1:53 pm

All residents of Knifecrime Island have the inalienable right to possess a trebuchet.

UW8316154 December 5, 2010 at 1:34 pm

I love it when you say that.

Neilist December 5, 2010 at 2:47 pm

"When Trebuchets Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Trebuchets!"

(The bumpersticker on an ox cart wandering around the Second Siege of Acre, 1189-1191.)

Anyway, only French pussies (yes, yes, I know: redundant) would use a trebuchet.

REAL MEN use a Roman ballista, of at least 1/2 talent caliber:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catapult

(On the other hand, check out the miniskirt on that guy!)

imissopus December 5, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Sorry, Freedom Bread pizzas.

Troubledog December 5, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Go Huskies!
/drops towel

ChuckieJesus December 8, 2010 at 1:28 am

Dammit, I really wish she would answer this. Being that she's 100% troll, she never will, though.

But, she'll lay awake at night, seething in her hatred for you and other LIEBRULS, and this question will stick, like a splinter in her mind. She'll eventually have no choice but to Google It For Herself.

ChuckieJesus December 14, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Oh look, there goes one hating, now! They're thumbsing down anything that offends them, like calling them Corn Syrup America, or suggesting that they're gay because their cocks taste like shit. LOL.

ChuckieJesus December 14, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Hating hater! :) I see you!

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