Hillary Clinton was in Bahrain today, and because we live in a period of history after her husband’s presidency and before her death (from that most feminist of diseases, breast cancer, we presume), somebody asked her if she was interested in running for president. And because Hillary Clinton has yet to become mentally ill from hearing the same question over and over, as people ignore her actual, present existence, she politely answered, and now the media has a brand-new “Hillary Clinton denies running for Obama job!” story. “I think I’ll serve as secretary of state as my last public position, and then probably go back to advocacy work, particularly on behalf of women and children,” she said. So, she’s going to run for president of the women and children?
It was the first time Clinton has spoken so directly about leaving public service, where she has been a dominant figure in Democratic circles for two decades.
Well, there’s a story! HILLARY USE DIFFERENT WORDS THIS TIME. THIS TIME STORY DIFFERENT. MEDIA THINK STORY BIG NEWS. BIG NEWS HILLARY NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT.
Of course, Clinton used the words “think” and “probably,” soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… hopefully a tapeworm packed with explosives has wriggled its way into the body of each and every media person in the world and will detonate in approximately five seconds!
…Damn. [Reuters]
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Sounds like she's running to me.
C'mon Hillary, do it! Please look for my 'Clintonman' videos soon to be posted on YouTube.
Clintonman will be so much easier fashion-wise too. You just need your pantsuits to match hers.
sounds like she's had e-fucking-nuff and i wonder that it's taken her so long.
That was my read, too. She's a smart capable woman and will do well in her post-government career.
So did she wear one of those full-body cover up things that the Muslins and Obama want all women to wear? Because they're dirty.
If she had gotten the job in 08, I wonder if she would have had bigger stones in standing up to the Rethugs than the big O.
I have bigger stones.
Than Hil or Barry? Barry for sure.
No. We'd probably be at war in Iran as well.
Do you know how many wingnut bloggers and pundits have just broken down and sobbed pitifully into their keyboards? They haven't even used up half of their "Hillary is a devil/Hitler/a liar/murderer/hateful cow" articles they've been sitting on for the last 6 years.
That will teach them to work ahead.
Hell, they will still run them anyway. Since when has the truth mattered?
Well, a few of them will repurpose the stories into interludes for predictable slashfic pieces involving them, Rush Limbaugh and a dramatic felatio tournament.
"Are you running for President?" is the Hillary-ized version of "When are you getting married?" followed by "When are you going to have kids?". We've all been there, Hills, just on a much, much, much smaller scale. I'm sure she feels better now.
Viewing Hil's picture, does she pay extra luggage fees for the two bags under her eyes? They must weigh 50 pounds…
That pic must have been taken while Hilz was watching the latest DWTS.
BREAKING NEWS! THIS JUST IN: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW HAS HAPPENED REGARDING A SUBJECT OF WHICH NO ONE EXPECTED ANYTHING TO EXCEPT WE IMBECILES IN THE MEDIA! WE WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE YOU AS WE RECEIVE NEW INFORMATION ABOUT HOW WE ARE NOT RECEIVING ANY NEW INFORMATION.
…and the Situation Room will present an opposing view, where something of equal or greater import may have happened.
Ooooh! I can't wait to hear what Chuck Todd thinks about this!
Every morning as she stuffs herself into the pantsuit du jour and prepares for brunch with some froofy consul, she must see Obama visibly aging on her television and think "wow, I totally dodged a bullet there."
Instead wearing those horrible ill-fitting pant suits, why doesn't she get some of those sari outfits Indian women wear? She'd look good like that, big butt and all. It'd help her diplomacy, too.
I'd hit that.
Yeah, probly, though she looked a little hotter when she had the slut stripes goin'.
Our Hillary. She makes strong men cower and lesser men cry. She inspires women to be strong and independent. Obviously, she is not cut out to be a positive role model/leader. Women need to be lead into the kitchen and then to the bedroom. Those are the roles for women. They have become too arrogant and need the MEN to put them in their place. Oh and uppity coloreds too.
That is a very serious, thoughtful argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care.
I heart your comment.
"Arrogant" is the 21st Century synonym for uppity, don't you watch Faux News?
But you must be careful not to put the uppity negroes and the women in the same place because, you know, they just can't help themselves.
Ahem. The term is "arrogant urbans".
"very arrogant, very, very urbans"
She's wants to annihilate the Iranians. She's just another bloodthirsty politician, with half the pizzazz of Indira Ghandi or Sheikh Yassina in Bangladesh. Another "kill the gooks, kill the ragheads, it's good for the economy, life is cheap in Asia" type. Make her ambassadrix to Bourkina Faso. Bill could enjoy the Ouaga Film and Music Festivals.
And when Michelle Obama gets the nod over Hillary for president of women and children, expect the PUMAs to form a new group:
Women,
Idiotically,
Like
Dumb
Children
Ain't
Thinkin'
Or, continuing in the feline realm:
People
Uunited
Seeking
Stronger
Y….uh….
I got nothin
Yoo-hoos?
P-point Upthumbing My Ass!
Needs moar Clinton/Palin '12.
Shit. That picture looks like Obamar's base feels.
In other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
And James Franco is still missing an arm!
too soon!
He deserves the Academy win for Best Actor, but Michael Douglas is going to get it instead, for A Solitary Man.
Of course, Jeremy Renner deserved it last year, but the Old Guy needed it more, that time, also.
So, sorry for acting your arm off, Franco. Better luck next time.
I can't help but view this story with insincere incredulity.
Here's the only plausible scenario under which she runs and the inevitable fallout:
1) Barack Obama announces he will not be seeking a second term.
2) Hillary Clinton announces she will run (Paul Krugman runs home to change his undies).
3) Sarah Palin wins the GOP nomination because… how possibly could she not if the Dems were running a woman (see: Steele, Michael.)
It would make for a kickass 2012 campaign season, you've gotta admit.
Hillary running against Palin would certainly destroy Palin and her supporter's cherished victimized-because-I'm-a-woman status. Hillary would stomp all over her in a debate.
"Hillary would stomp all over her in a debate." Don't count on it. Remember , Sarah is unencumbered by both reality and the thought process (hence Barracuda). And her followers can't tell shit from shinola.
And Sarah has The Wink. I'm not sure if Hillary can compete with it's awesomeness.
Your comment just triggered the best daydream EVAR of Hillary literally stomping all over Palin. Thank you.
I heard from the conservative pundits that we are looking for an excuse to dump Barry because we're all suffering from buyers remorse and wish we could go back and change our votes for McCain/Palin.
I started hearing that on January 21, 2009.
It would be a woman on woman fight. Jeez, just add the mud and we're off. Stiffies popping at the possibilities
In its aftermath, I fear not a village would be left standing.
Dude – you do know men get breast cancer – right?
Richard Roundtree had breast cancer. This means getting breast cancer is now cool.
& he remains a sex machine to all the chicks.
Shut your mouth
Beat me to it.
Just talkin' about Shaft
In a few years, I see her turning all of her pantsuit's into a Bedouin tent ala Khadafy and traveling the world with a detachment of Manmazon guards.
…. sorry, long week
Aw, and Dick Morris has just completed his volume two of "HIllary VS Condi".
…a book which has several chapters developed to the anatomy of their toes.
Given that Dick Morris is wrong about everything, why should this prevent him from publishing and forcing Human Events to buy 100,000 copies?
The real news here is the way that string of oooo's in that post ran all the way off the page and to infinity. Is this possible in the comments field as well? Let's see:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Apparently noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. My First Amendment rights have been violated!
By the way, Hopey should be so lucky as to find another SoS like Hilz. She's awesomely loyal, effective, and willing to go yon and thither, unlike prececessor beloved-of-Woodward-SoS Colin Powell, who preferred to phone it in.
Powell was like that one good guy working for the Empire, who doesn't realize until he has a knife wedged between his ribs that maybe he's working for the wrong people.
She's as diplomatic as a punch in the mouth. Ram Emmanuel couldn't do worse.
Condi was more to your liking?
I'll take that as a definite 'yes."
Sherman statement or GTFO.
But… but… but… Christine O'Donnell just endorsed her! How can she NOT run now with that kind of political clout and cultural gravitas behind her?
Because Chelsea's going to start pooping out babies soon and Hill wants to stay home and bake cookies with Grandpa Slick.
Legitimate babies, also.
But don't we all wish we could have (Sarah) Palin Family Values instead of (Hillary) Clinton Family Values?
These next two years are going to be horrendous, aren't they? Horribilis annuses, if you will. My ass hurts just thinking about it.
Gah, I've hardly gotten through the past 2 *days* without drowning in a pool of cynicism, anger, sadness and disgust. So yes, the next two years will veritably suck ass. Anybody wanna go in on 17,459 cases of assorted liquors?
No way — for me, it's 17,458 and not a drop more.
Okay, I can live with that. (I do not speak for my liver, of course. It long ago eloped with my pancreas and is, at last report, living out its days in Baja California)
Oooh, have they legalized inter-organ marriage there yet?
I'm with ya on the booze — 2008 didn't reduce my consumption one dram — but it is helpful to look on the bright side: many humortunities will be spread out before us next month.
Only if by "assorted" you mean "120 proof"
If she were running, she would quit her job, write a book and host her own reality tv show. Or appear on American Idol.
Wouldn't she have to convince Chelsea to retroactively have a bastard child for this to work??
I don't blame her for not wanting the job, but jesus christ wouldn't it be alanis morisettely ironic if the Alaskunt somehow blew her way into the oval office instead of her to become the first lady president, or at least the first biologically female president at any rate?
Thanks for that, now I feel like Hillz looks in the above pic. I'm too old to move to Canada City because snow, and too askeered of the Messican drug lords to head south, leaving me no other choice but to stay here and fight. This will not be pretty.
I can't wait for the first daughters to have an even bigger microphone with which to tell us all what big losers we are.
That is so not even fucking funny that you should be banned forever for planting that idea. Shit like that happens I'm doing something. I don't know what, yet, but it'll be something.
Time?
sshh…
hey now, that's like blaming Al Gore for global whateveryoucallit.
man, i wish i was a 21st century MSM political 'journalist.' No real policy or procedural analysis. Just pull a speculative election story out of my ass, pat myself on the back, and then go get lit for the rest of the day.
POLITICO would like to see your résumé, stat. You've got what it takes, pending and evaluation of your skills at sucking the dicks of the powerful.
She could advocate for women and children pretty effectively if another SCOTUS slot opens up.
Makes too much sense.
Gah, stupid media; despite the fact that it would be utterly ridiculous for Hillary to run a primary challenge to Obama when she's, you know, A FUCKING MEMBER OF CABINET, they still will not obsessing over this bullshit.
Hilldawg, you are beautiful in every single way. Words can't bring you down. Oooo~
And off topic, but I just caught an eyeful of my hot roommate's morning wood. Volpe piace. Merry Christmas to all!
Careful of that morning wood, Fare; I fucked my first wife with a piss hard-on so much she became waterlogged.
It was the first time Clinton has spoken so directly about leaving public service, where she has been a dominant figure in Democratic circles for two decades.
Surely they meant "Dominatrix figure."
And when will the press ask more interesting questions like: When will she go back to having an lesbian affair? Or who is the next aid that she plans to kill and frame as a suicide? Is Sean Hannity the only person with the balls to ask such questions? (NB: Jerry Falwell is dead, and famously quite ball-less.)
hopefully a tapeworm packed with explosives has wriggled its way into the body of each and every media person in the world and will detonate in approximately five seconds!
Ah, Jack, so cynical so soon. Welcome to the dark-side.
Silly Jack! Everybody knows that they're infested with Hookworms!
That's just conjecture!
Here's a thought: if Hilz had won the nomination in '08, she probably would've won the general as well — Chimpy was that bad. But would the Teabagger backlash have been so strong, or stronger? Is racism more virulant than sexism in this country? And would Hilz have bitch-slapped John Boehner into submission like the wuss he is? Discuss.
Prob'ly a draw. Might have seen a some of the socialism rants replaced with carefully worded diatribes on the horrible 'mothering' being done by the gumment.
Instead of inflicting Palin on us, Walnuts would have thrown a Hail Mary by choosing an urban running mate to get all of the black PUMA-equivalent votes. Thus, you would be looking at Michael Steele for President in 2012.
Even in retrospect, this is a frightening – and potentially hilarious – possibility.
I hope he embezzles a shit load of money, then escapes to some place with a nice climate and no extradition.
Does she have a campaign office in Iowa? Sarah Palin has a campaign office in Iowa.
That rumor has been proven false.
Only Alaskans would want to be in Iowa in mid-winter.
Gee, I can't understand why someone would want out of American politics these days. She's going to give up participating in this erudite, storied exchange of ideas between educated and informed participants, hoping to achieve something for the betterment of our fellow man? Pshaw.
She just doesn't know what a good thing she has, I guess.
Geez, that picture. Poor girl has been run hard and put away wet.
Billy Boy looks like five miles of dirt road himself.
Hey, a thumbs down for that?? Why, whoever did that can kiss my hairiest patch of taint!
What a deal! Catfight of the Century! Hil, with all her baggage and Palin with nothing but tits, ass and her catch-me-fuck-me pumps. The perverse asshole in me (which is a huge majority of my DNA) would LOVE this face-off. Finally, no more pretense of issues and platforms; a purely personality driven election for the position of most powerful person in the fucking world….Kill me now.
It could replace 1884 as the dirtiest campaign in US history!
Not being a history buff, or even particularly smart, I'll have to take your word for it.
She is a Klintooon, a Clintonian Clintonite, and therefore, everything that she says is a lie, and therefore, if she says she is not running, she is running!
If she ever says "I am not lying" the universe will end.
Personally, I don't care if she runs or not – I just want the PUMAs to come raging back, gnashing their teeth and giving the teabaggers a run for their money in the straight-up Crazy department.
That was the best primary season EVER.
But she's still around to be criticized for her clothing choices.
We live in an age in which we judge hillz not by the clothing that she wears, but rather, by the content of her clothing, which, has her in it.
She dresses like my mother used to dress thirty years ago.
As well she should be. Looks count, especially when the electorate and the punditate are as ignorant of more important matters.
At the end of her term as Secretary of State, I'd like to see Hillary blow…really tell the press what she thinks of all their inane questions, and how ridiculous the constant speculation is.
But is Hillary ready to answer the questions she would need to answer if she wants to become President. Like: Does she masturbate? Does she trim? Is she a witch?
All right, we know the answer to the third one, but when will she answer the rest?
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