Hark! What’s that sound on the rooftop? Could it be sleigh bells? No, it’s the nation’s unemployment rate, here to bring us holiday cheer! The festive unemployment rate has received its “Christmas bonus” — increasing in November to 9.8%, a seven-month high — while only 39,000 new jobs were created. And most of those jobs were “in the form of temporary help”; in other words, toy-making jobs, which are given only to elf Americans and don’t provide benefits. It’s cute how the economy is so full of Christmas spirit.
More than 15 million people remained out of work last month, and 6.3 million of them have been unemployed for six months or longer. [...]
Analysts generally estimate that the economy needs to add at least 100,000 to 125,000 jobs a month simply to keep up with new entrants to the labor force. So if employers keep hiring at the current pace, it will not help reduce the unemployment rate for some time.
But, you say, colleges don’t graduate students every month of the year. How could the economy need that many jobs every month? Why, because all the good girls and boys are going to work to save their families! And you know what they say: only a child with coal in her lung is safe from receiving coal in her stocking.
Happy Hanukkah. [NYT]
{ 149 comments }
Ho-Ho-Homeless! I love the holidays.
To the Republiklans I work with, these people choose to be unemployed and homeless, so I congratulate them for being able to choose their life style.
Away in a trailer, no crib for his bed
Our little poor redneck lay down his sweet head
I liked when I read one economist postulate that some of the increase in the rate was due to previously discouraged workers taking a chance and getting back into the hunt after the fall's earlier job numbers were good, and then being bitterly disappointed when things hadn't improved as much as they'd hoped. Merry Christmas!
But hey, the stock market is up, so for the people who matter to our politicians and media the economy is good again!
Every time the unemployment figures rise, a tea bag congressman gets his wings…
(and promptly calls for blocking unemployment aid).
Don't worry, jolly old St Boner is going to give all the unemployed their billionaire tax cuts.
Those tax cuts will apply across the board to all who get of their lazy asses and make that first billion.
If the rates rise, some of our nation's executives may have to settle for one of the cheaper models for this year's Lexus with a giant bow on it for their wives! They probably will still go all out on the one for the girlfriend though.
No adults in Peanuts cause they're all standing in line for hobo beans.
Mouths full of Hobo Beans would explain how they talk.
Republicans were elected over a month ago, so they need to stop playing the blame game and take responsibility for this. Fair is fair, bitches.
yup. the wonketteer that suggested calling repub CongressTools daily demanding 'jobs, jobs, jobs' was right on.
Welcome to the new Merika! Where the only real jobs available are those stolen by the illegals while fame whores like Christine O'Donnell and Sarah Palin get rich off the backs of the maroons who buy their idiotic line of white trash gumbo, and scooters. Maybe we ought to all apply for jobs at the Rascal plant.
Sorry, those are made in Singapore.
My current job is about as soul-killing and stultifyingly rote as any I've ever had, but boy am I glad to have it.
OMG, you're our TSA mole?
No. I guess you could say I'm a porn-tester. I test porn. Yes. That is my job.
There's such a magical job out there?!?!?
Better than having to be the fluffer.
Deport all elfs immediately. Expecially, the Messican variety.
Well, at least the unemployed can find comfort in the fact that McRib is back!
Your old friend, a compressed slab of gristle, fat and pork anus, slathered with mediocre bar-b-que sauce, onions on a depleted white bread carb-death bun.
EAT 'EM UPS!
Mmmmm….
That has to be the most appetizing description of pork anus ever!
I've never tried a McRib, but damn, now I'm going to.
The McRibbed; For Your Pleasure
You should see the award winning commercial he shot to go with this copy.
Your last lunch may have been your LAST lunch.
Only for November, I thought.
Did they extend the availability? & if so, why can Mc Donald's give us more Mc Ribs, while Rupublican't Congress-Critters cannot give us more unemployment (benefits)? Is not the Mc Rib a dearer commodity?
But when are they bringing back the McDLT? I need an extra large styrofoam container to keep the hot side hot, and the cool side cool.
Yeah if more people eat at Mickey D's then that will take a bunch of pressure off of social security. You owe it to your country to eat shitty processed food, get cardiac disease and die at 59 so Social Security can stay solvent. Also, your remaining undamaged organs can be harvested to keep a rich 80 something billionaire alive. Gawd bless uhMEHRika.
"while only 39,000 new jobs were created."
Which makes this an ideal time for unemployment benefits to run out. It's going to be hard to find a job and those damn unemployed slackers are going to need all the extra motivation they can get.
Why those lazy hippies need to stop expecting others to give them a jerb. If they had any ingenuity, they would go out and start their own business and benefit from those tax cuts.
Which makes this an ideal time for unemployment benefits to run out.
And the countdown to the 2012 bloodbath begins.
Today we are all Chinese.
Alt-Alt-Text: I wonder if this tree will feed a family of 4?
Looks like Charlie Brown will be reduced to giving blowjobs in public restrooms for money this Christmas. Poor Charlie Brown!
Good grief!
If he ain't selling blowjobs, how can he ever catch up? Volume won't work here.
This is called the "Larry Craig Solution."
Better than the Florida state legislator who was giving away money and blowies.
In his defense, he saw a black man at a rest stop so what was he supposed to assume?
A boon for our fun-loving Congressmen, though. No mater how thin the waffle, there are always two sides. Thank you.
This just gives the nation of lazy layabouts an excuse to whine for $290.00 a week. What with their microwave ovens and flat screen teevees. Glenn Blech tells me the poverty stricken were much more honorable in the Depression. They were also white.
Only the important ones were photographed. Teh blacks, meh.
All of my employees got an Xmas bonus this year; first time evar! Yay!
(I guess it would be more accurate to say "both" of my employees.) But anyhoo, there's another 500 bucks to boost the economy. Gimme a cookie.
A well-deserved up thumb.
Hey, are you hiring? I'm a hard worker and never goof off looking at websites and commenting and stuff!
Man, I'm seeing a lot of desperate job hunters these days. For reals. It's kinda scary.
Reminscent of the darkest days of the Reagan Depression when I saw a thousand people line up for a chance to clean hotel toilets.
Dear Caveman:
You think you can come in here and try and spread some good economic news before I get crowned Speaker of the House? HELL NO YOU CAN'T!
Enjoy your IRS audit, bonus boy.
John Boehner
My business is small enough to basically be audit-proof. The IRS knows where to find the butter for its bread, and it ain't my place.
Whenever I get something wrong on the taxes, they just send me a letter that basically says, "Send us a piece of paper with different numbers than last time and check for $83 and we're cool."
500 Ameros! You sound rich enough to qualify for the top 1% tax cut!
I'm guessing a small, unlicensed private detective agency. You're shooting video of some douchebag screwing his babysitter for Wifey's lawyer even as you comment, right?
This really surprises me! I thought the Retailers of America Lobby was stronger than this. What, they can't get lying politicians to lie about the numbers for just one more month, or at least until we spend the last of our unemployment bene's on little Johnny a war video? I bought my son that new Black Ops game and I'm gonna write it off on my taxes this year as a job training aid – since we are poor, the only job that will be around for him when he reaches thae age of 13 is fighting for the Republic of Tea!! WOLVERINES!!!!1!!1!1
It's no accident that video games are giving the children the skills they need to fight wars.
Is there an xbox game called, "Night Janitor As a Second Job" or "Helping My Daddy At The Fry Station"?
How about a virtual begging game?
3rd Shift Manager at Motel 6 is a really boring game.
Back when computers were designated as 386's or 486's, there was this game called "Larry The Lounge Lizard". The oblect of the game was pretty much the story of my life – walk around getting drunk and stoned, screwing hookers, etc… but if you forgot to get a condom, you would die from the hookers. I think I'm gonna create a game called "Ernie the Homeless engineer", where you walk around, eating out of rich people's trashcans – but, if you eat eggs, you die from salmonella. Do you think it'll catch on like "Larry" did?
So obs Barry, Harry, and
MicheleNancy should join forces to give the rich the biggest tax cut ever – that'll create bunches and gobs of jobs.'Scusies, my own post has made me vomit in my mouth. Yuck, petooie!!
Don't "petooie"!! There's still some nutrition left in that stuff dontcha know? Rule of thumb for the destitute – puke it twice or shit it once.
You're a teary one, John Boner
You really are a(n orange) peel.
You're as tough as a care bear,
You're as handsome as an eel.
John Boner.
You're a tanned orange
With a leathery skin peel.
You're a dipshit, Mitchypoo.
Your ideas an empty hole.
Your wallet full of Koch bucks,
You've got Scrooge in your soul.
Mitchypoo.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
nine-and-a-half inch Supertuber.
You're dipshits, Tea Baggers.
You're all annoying fat sots.
Your brains a dead tomato splot
With nothing but rot,
Teabaggers
Your ass is an apalling dump heap
overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Wadded up in a medicaid Rascal.
I want to go caroling, now.
You obviously have way too much free time, Manchu, but I appreciate it. BTW your avatar is one of my favorite actors. I also remember him riveting me to the screen as the coked-up little brother in Sharkey's Machine.
Don't stress: in the coming weeks department stores will hire lots of seasonal gift wrappers, and that should ensure that everyone who doesn't have one yet gets a well paying gig.
actually, usually they are rich white lady volunteers who do it for charity. At least in the suburbs of DC
I used to work as a sales clerk in department stores at Xmas. What a terrible, terrible job it used to be: you had to dress up like a millionaire (this was a long time ago) for minimum wage, and the work week was 37.5 hours to make sure they wouldn't have to pay one damn nickel of overtime.
37.5 eh? Dollars to donuts they made you clock out during your 1/2 hour lunch breaks.
You betcha!
Some years ago, my wife worked in retail. She had to quit before she killed somebody. Now, she works for doctors, who, I'm just saying, better watch their backs.
Today, we are all unemployed Swedish Rapists condemned for making light of Sweden's serious effort to "do something" about gender inequality, even if what they are doing reaches all the way around and actually smacks of good old fashioned condescending paternalism with its presumption that weak helpless females need special protection from stronger, predatory males, who are always, always forcing themselves on women who submit only because of unequal power relationships, because they don't like sex if they are nice girls, anyway.
Exactly what I was thinking.
Great minds and all that.
…Merry…Christmas?
Comment to the wrong post?
Today we are all Lisbeth Salander.__(That's a reference to those Swedish "The Girl With the Dragon Tatoo" book things, you functional illiterates.)
That's one hell of a sentence. I loved the "reaches all the way around and actually smacks". A seriously underrated comment.
Well, St. John the Boner, the billionaire tax cuts are still in effect and have been for 10 years. Where are the jobs?
"The law, in its majestic equality, prohibits both the rich and the poor from sleeping under bridges."
Hey, that's my quote from Anatole France!
Can't we be reasonable, for the good of the quote, and work out a joint custody agreement? I get to use it every other weekend?
Okay, but I get to keep the house. You can live in your car, you cheating bastard.
Its the season for giving. But the giving just includes fruitcake not jobs or food baskets or unemployment checks. The season of giving is giving the citizens the boot.
Where's my fucking Jelly of the Month Club certificate, huh Nobama?
I dont know what the hell you are all bitchin about, you claim to hate capitalism so much… You know, those damn evil white people that give you jobs.
You may want to brace yourself.
Poopyhead.
I pee'd
Who claimed to hate capitalism, you cumstained sack of monkey shit?
I get that you don't get it here, but for the love of christ why are you wasting your time? Is the jizz mopping getting a little slow down at the jerk shack?
The corporate overlords are kind of taking away people's jobs now, that's the problem. But no, idiot like you still think we should bow down to worship them and give them blowjobs, instead of trying to bring back the regulations to prevent them from fucking everyone over again; you know, the kind of regulations that meant there were no serious recessions from the end of the Depression until 1987, after the senile actor turned dipshit politician who was the worst President of the 20th century began the process of dismantling our regulations and letting the fucktards do whatever they want.
Wait a minute, waaaait a minute — you're saying Reagan was worse than Bush 43? I know hyperbole is the lingua franca of blogs, but at least St Ronnie, God bless is immortal soul, got us out of Lebanon, ha ha.
You must have missed the "of the 20th century" there; I'd also say Buchanan was worse.
You are of course correct, sir, madam or cyborg.
Since I'm at work for my white overlords, I decided to check on what you have been up to pauletteanne. I sure hope you are well and enjoying the Holidays.
I checked out her profile (and you have to go through the picture, for some reason she a direct click set to go to some stupid childish site) and see that she also keeps making comments on threads from days ago; I have no idea why someone would do that, except maybe that we she gets to "win" because no one will respond.
So it's true — teabaggers really ARE stuck in the past.
Corporate America enjoyed a 40% jump in profits this year after slashing jobs, benefits, and basically creating sweatshops for those lucky enough to be employed. Yay, unregulated capitalism. Happy Kwanza, asshole.
Hey fuckstain, my new overlords are a black guy and an Iranian – and they are corporate pirates as well! How do you like that? We don't just hate white fucksticks – we hate thieving, lying, greedmongering fucksticks of all color!! Go back to masturbating to your Sarah Palin book cover, you worthless piece of shit!
Oh, and Happy Holidays!
Did you really just say that? Did you just say that all liberals = angry communist black/brown people who wouldn't have a job if it weren't for all the white folk? If I weren't in the Chanukah spirit I'd give you a thumbs down for compound bigotry, all around bad grammar and sentence structure, and insipid contempt for critical thought.
She also kept pounding on the "Obama is just like Hitler!" bullshit in an earlier thread, because of all that absolutely nothing they have in common, and has said quite a bit of racist stuff as well. Pauletteanne has been one of our dumbest trolls, which is quite and achievement.
Hey, if you are an atheist Jew, do you have to call them hashbrowns?
I'd give you a thumbs down for compound bigotry
Hey now, hey now, dont treat me so wrong..:)
YOU all brought up these 'evil' white people. Now how is that 'bigotry?' YOU brought up the 'black brown' issue.
I thought that libs, leftists, progressives, Commies, Bolsheviks, whatever you call yourselves THIS week were a colorblind society??
Then again, Margaret Sanger, KKK DEM was such a sweet soul…
You brought up Hitler nationalizing healthcare in Germany.
Which was actually done six years before Hitler was born. In Austria.
You sure keep avoiding my simple request for an explanation of the nonsense you spew here.
I wasn't even going to respond to you, but, *sigh*:
1. I'm pretty sure I didn't say "damn evil white people" give "you" jobs, which carries a negative inference that "you" (or in this case, I & my fellow Wonketteers) are not white. In fact…yup, just checked, and that was you.
2. I call myself an American.
3. Margaret Sanger was neither in the KKK nor was she a Democrat. She gave a speech, once, to a group affiliated with the KKK, which she said was "weird." And her immigration stance would make any Republican proud. Saying she's a KKK DEM makes about as much sense as saying John McCain was a member of the Communist Party of Vietnam.
Could you do me a huge fav? Could you get Kevin Stowell or Sowell or Stovepipe or whoever he is to come back on here and comment, instead of you? When it comes to rambling, bigoted, ad hominem attack filled, fallacy-based rants, he's Bo & Luke Duke to your Coy & Vance Duke.
Where are they? We've had tax cuts for the rich for the past ten years, so where are the jobs? Nah, we know what really "trickles down" from rich fucks and it sure as hell isn't prosperity.
Now get back to your sugar daddy, you fucking whore.
Now get back to your sugar daddy, you fucking whore.
Like I told you a few days ago…Your place or mine ?
poopyhead.
you don't rate wasting a capital "p" on.
No one here would hate real capitalism, I hate the cronyism disguised as capitalism that Shotgun Dick and the Bushwacker dumped on us for their tenure (remember the behind the doors no-bid no competitor contracts handed out for the ass-raping of Iraq? of course you don't)
I am not sure why I am even wasting a logical argument on a mentally challenged, close-minded horse's ass like you. I hope you had investments with Maddoff.
I hope you had investments with Maddoff. Madoff.
No sugar, he broke the ACLU into bankruptcy…THAT sure as hell would NOT be an org I was involved in, tyvm.
Right, because you are a conservative, and conservatives hate liberty.
I just love to be fucked by my white overlords. Nobody, and I mean nobody, can chase their employees around the office like the white overlords. Man, woman, goat, dog, pig, doesn't matter. When the white overlords get a boner they have to fuck anything around. Just give them a wet hole so they can keep ramming. In fact, the hole doesn't need to be wet since it is about power.
Canard!
pauletteanne, we are STILL waiting for you to explain to us how Hitler nationalized health care in Germany six years before he was born (in Austria).
One might get the impression you just post complete nonsense with no basis in reality.
Nothing racist about this post.
The stupid, it burns.
Tiny Tim won't even get a socialist federally funded generic winter holiday goose this year.
Tiny Tim was a lazy ass gimp that just wanted to suck at the guvmint teat. He needs to git hisself a scooter and find a fuckin' job the lazy ass homo lovin' ass kissin' little fag.
Or go on "Hobbling With The Stars".
Tiny Tim was an anchor baby!
If Ebenezer Scrooge is your hero?
Life. You're doing it wrong!
As one of those unemployed slobs, I have to say that it seems that the few people that are being hired by retailers are those with existing retail experience. I'm sorry that I haven't spent the last 4 years of my life selling HoHo's and Oatmeal Creme Pies to the lard asses of America.
I just would like a job while I decide what I'm going to do down the line (grad school sounds nice, where? I dont know). I didn't realize that running a cash register required such in-depth experience, and a hiring process equivalent to that of a fucking CEO.
Ever get the feeling U.S. America is becoming the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree of the world?
I feel up a mannequin at home, in my spare time, …. just as a fall back position.
Hey Jack, can you write about something more uplifting – you know, kinda like that story where Arizona killed that war hero dog or something? I gotta do some Xmas shopping this afternoon and this shit is really dragging me down!
Speaking of America's Craziest State (Sun-Fried Division), how about them death panels?
"Effective at the beginning of October, Arizona stopped financing certain transplant operations under the state’s version of Medicaid. Many doctors say the decision amounts to a death sentence for some low-income patients, who have little chance of survival without transplants and lack the hundreds of thousands of dollars needed to pay for them"
Thinking about that'll put us all in the true spirit of the Holiday Gifting Season!
I CALL DIBS ON THEIR BRIDGE ABUTMENT!!!!1!!1!1
This gives those lazy poors an opportunity to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and perform transplants themselves at home. All they need is the Koch Brothers' Lil' Home Helper Organ Transplant Kit, available at a Walmart or Costco near you!
I'm sure Boner and crew are Ok with a decrease in the surplus population. Apologies to Dickens. Bah mother-fucking humbug.
That's American Exceptionalism!
And this is important to the Washington Post editorial board how? Don't you know the deficit commission just came out with some very serious ideas? And its bipartisan!? Worrying about unemployment is a liberal dogma.
Whatever ye shall do for the Least of My Broders, that ye do unto me.
Jesus was a deficit-hawk!
But I thought that Congress' resisting extending unemployment benefits was going to DECREASE unemployment coz all the slackers were going to face facts and go back to work. That's what Jim DeMent and Co. told me.
As if my family being around wasn't enough to hate the holidays.
Will your baby have your malnutrition? PredictYourHomelessBaby.com
Keep your doors locked, Pilgrims, this is going to be a strange and dangerous Holiday Season. Way too many folk are being pushed to the breaking point.
Dear Santa,
Fuck the chimney sliding, toy giving bullshit and give these Democrats some balls for the Holiday season.
Yours Truly,
America's Unemployed
Patience, people, patience. Those Bush tax cuts are finally going to start helping any day now.
Hey, this trickle down is yellow!
If only I were still unemployed. I could be at least eight loko by now.
Illegal aliens' dry foot super-duper baby crucified on a wooden hog trough in Bethlehem?
Fast forward about three decades…
But we finally censured that urban Charlie Rangel! All of our nation's problems should be solved.
Why so sad, Charlie Brown?
After being unemployed for months and receiving a notice from the Michigan Employment Security Commission that there weren't any extensions I landed a temporary job for the holidays.
But best of all, every dollar I earn over $250,000 will be safe from being killed dead by that additional 4% that Obama wants.
Livin the American Dream!
Obama: I guess you were right, John. I shouldn't have tried to stimulate job growth. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don't know what the Economy is all about. Isn't there anyone who knows what the Economy is all about?
John Boehner: Sure, Barack, I can tell you what the economy is all about.
Lights, please.
"And there were in the same country hillbillies abiding in the subdivisions, keeping watch over their credit card statements. And lo, a Trader of the Day came upon them, and the glory of his Italian suit shone round about them: and they were so afraid. And the Trader said unto them, 'Keep using that VISA card, and I shall bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is incorporated this day in the City of New York a rising tide which shall lift too your boat, which is Atlantic Trust Wealth Management. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find a shantytown, wrapped in health violations, built for thee.' And suddenly there was with the Trader a multitude of foreclosure specialists, praising Bank of America, and saying, 'Glory to Rand in the highest, and on earth here, you've got 30 days to move out.'"
That's what the Economy is all about, Silly Brown-man.
That … that was so beautiful! You moved me man.
Unemloyment up while U.S. corporate profits are at record levels. Someday somebody is going to figure out that the leeches on wall street don't see red, white and blue. They only see green.
But if the trend continues, the Wall Streeters might indeed start seeing red, red that's come from the former insides of their bodies.
Yeeeeah, so I kinda sorta maybe completely by accident just today made that number higher.
So….
yeah.
On the plus side, I'll have more time to wonk.
Bummer. I've become almost a pro at being unemployed so here's some advice:
Looking for work (for me at least) involves a great deal of rejection and even more just being plain ignored. This can be hard on one's self-esteem so … try to take one day a week to do things that make you feel good about yourself–woodworking, five more pages on the novel, cooking, doing the floors, working in the yard, golfing, volunteering for community work, shooting assholes on the street–something, anything that rekindles your self-image.
Also, be prepared for this: Some wag once said, the problem with doing nothing is you never know when you're done. Well, unemployment is like that. The second you wake up, you're already on the job. Also, you work weekends and holidays, which mock you. And you'll see sorry looking people with wretched jobs and you'll think, that sonofabitch found a job; why can't I?
One final point: Please don't apply anywhere I do. I'll cut you, bitch.
Ya think maybe the Wonkette needs a bathroom attendant?
Someone to shovel out the stables, maybe. The bathrooms are kept clean by Larry Craig's knees.
Comments on this entry are closed.