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The United States’ big dreams of hosting the 2022 World Cup were shattered by one of the planet’s smallest nations.

In a historic vote Thursday in Zurich, FIFA awarded the hosting rights to Qatar, a Middle Eastern country smaller than Connecticut that wowed the sport’s international governing body with innovative stadium plans, massive financial resources and the promise of promoting harmony in a region that has never staged the World Cup.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, they also gave a World Cup to Russia, which also hangs out with Iran all the time. FIFA is a corrupt organization who hates America because it is a beacon of hope to soccer and is the game’s natural home. This country loves soccer. Almost 5% of Americans know who Landon Donovan is.

GOOD LUCK PLAYING IN SOCCER STADIUMS THAT ARE LITERALLY MADE OUT OF THE BODIES OF LIVING TERRORISTS. [WP]

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