John Boehner is very upset that the Democratic Party is trying to use their majorities in Congress and their presidency to pass a bill that is actually consistent with what they told the voters was their philosophy when they elected them. “I’m trying to catch my breath so I don’t refer to this maneuver that’s going on today as chicken crap, all right? But this is nonsense!” Boehner, a character in a G-rated animated children’s movie, yelped today. Republicans are very upset that Democrats are not allowing them to compromise, as they thought they would. “Compromise,” as we all know, is an English word that means “give the Republicans exactly what they want.”
More Boehner:
“While we had a good meeting at the White House yesterday about how we’ll resolve the issue of stopping all the tax hikes, the House leaders are going to go down this path of gerrymandering the process so that members only have one option, and that’s to vote on only providing some tax relief to the American people. I think it’s wrong, it does undercut the conversation we had just yesterday,” he told reporters Wednesday evening.
Boehner just cannot get his head around this. A majority party has the gall to pass something that is not to the liking of the minority party? That’s not how a democracy works at all!
Republicans want to make all the Bush tax cuts permanent, even for the very wealthy. Their “compromise” is to just extend the tax cuts for a few years. And in a few years, they expect to be the party in power once again, of course. So why won’t the Democrats just let them have what they want right now? This is making John Boehner go insane! Making laws is not supposed to be so hard! CHICKEN CRAP!
But don’t worry, Democrats will probably give in and make this “compromise” anyway. [WP/The Hill]
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You'd think if he knew anything, Boehner would at least know what gerrymander means. Apparently this is not the case.
He actually meant "Jerry Mandering," a personal idiom of his. Mr. Mander is in fact The Boner's bronzing supplier, whose products come in only one option: hazard-cone orange.
Good to know
Yeah, since one of the big downsides of the sheelacking is that the GOPers now get to Gerrymander themselves a permanent majority. It's what Tom DeLay was after for Christ sake.
But what makes you think John Boehner knows anything?
John of Orange does not have a brain. John of Orange is an automaton programmed by rogue agents to obstruct, obfuscate, and be obtuse.
Democrats :shooting themselves in the foot so that others won't have to….
“Compromise,” as we all know, is an English word that means “give the Republicans exactly what they want.”
Actually, I'd say that that more or less sums up the Obama presidency. With some exceptions. The key, of course, is to give them what they want before they ask for it, in hope that that will push the Republicans into cooperating.
How's that working so far? Oh, just fucking dandy.
I'd say you're right and I think the Democrats should stop pretending to be seeking compromise and just state that as a matter of policy for the next four years or so they will just give the Republicans free reign and then we'll review conditions then. Let the experiment run it's course.
Guess what? Chicken butt.
Guess why? Chicken thigh.
Butt chapped? Chicken crap.
I love to eat? Chicken feet!
But chicken eye? I'd rather die!
Need a loner? Chicken Boehner!
hell I always thought chicken crap was what chicken hawks smeared all over themselves to avoid going to the 'Nam?!
No Boner, Chickenshit is how the democrats USUALLY act. I believe the word you are searching for is Bullshit.
Uh-oh, I'm starting to believe in the Dems again…HELP ME!
This too shall pass. Unfortunately.
Don't worry, they will capitulate that belief right out of you in days, if not hours.
Take a Percoset and follow it with a gallon of gin. That'll cure you.
Shouldn't I do something DIFFERENT than usual?
Okay, two Percosets. In case the first one doesn't work.
Who will stand up for the billionaires?!?
Holy Jumping Jesus…
They had this asshat and Jackoff Kyl from White-azona on NPR this morning and they actually both spit out the concept that the Amerikan public voted for the lower tax levels for millionaires on Nov 2.
The NPR hosts didn't dispute (or laugh out fucking loud) either time…
Is Amy Goodman next up for the brainwashing?
the npr apparatchiks are scared shitless (chickenshitless) as always that if they offend the mighty righties, they'll be denied their places at the slop troughs.
I'm convinced they only won because the olds thought they were voting for Briston Palin on Dancing with the Stars.
I think a certain little senator needs his juicebox and a nap.
Don't cry, Boehner. I'm sure Harry Reid will find a way to fuck up another solid move by Pelosi.
"chicken crap"? takes one to know one.
"House leaders are going to go down this path of gerrymandering the process so that members only have one option…"
What old Boehner is really saying – OHMYGOD we will have to actually take a vote on whether to keep tax cuts for the middle class and when we actually vote them down because we're huge fucking assholes the American people might actually see us as the slimy fucks we are! How in the hell are we supposed to run for reelection on the "Screw The Middle Class" platform?
Amazing that our democracy has come down to the idea that you might have to take a vote that hurts your re-election chances. Here Johnny – I'll give you some advice…just vote to extend the cuts! The Senate will kill it through filibuster and then you can have the best of both worlds….
Oh and the use of Chickenshit….that's what the Republicans are…chickenshits and afraid to show their true colors.
don't hold back, Hagajimmy…after xmas, the Idiocracy!!!…
Chickenshits, chickenhawks, same asshats.
That's why the Resmeglicans are trying to sit on all legislation–so they won't have to vote on the record with their big-donor reach-around. If they can just keep both houses of congress from doing anything–anything at all–the superrich get their tax breaks automatically, forever.
Chickenshit doesn't even signify. Dinosaur shit is more like it.
Don't forget how easily the Republicans have convinced their impoverished rural base that tax cuts for the rich are good, because you might win the lottery one day.
Cheep shot, weejee.
glad you liked it
Boner'll just have to go pub-crawling in a vain attempt to assuage this most contemptible affront given him by the Demoncrats!
These same tax cuts were originally passed using a chickenshit maneuver so this talking carrot has nothing to complain about.
Too right. Fucking Dick Cheney was the deciding bead of ball sweat.
I am so tired of the phrase "make the Bush tax cuts permanent". Unless this particular Republican cadre has discovered the secret of immortality and guaranteed incumbency, the tax cuts are only "permanent", until another Congress comes along, says, "Well, screw that", and raises taxes again.
If I hear "job killing" one more time I'll go to severe frown mode.
You wouldn't like the severe frown.
How about "Boehner-killer"? Would you like to hear that one a few times?
*severe frown*
Stop it, please! It's worse than you said!
Dude, you're Monsieur Grumpe. Aren't you always in severe frown mode?
Is the GOP responsible for cutting everyone's pee-ness as well?
Fucking Cantor…
it's all that cold weather, it shrinks things, thus proving global warming to be a lie.
PS welcome back from wherever.
I know what you mean — my pee-ness just shrunk 13 fucking points merely from posting that one dumb dick joke! WTF Jewish-controlled media?!
(Thanks for the welcome back from wherever. I shoulda stayed there…)
your dreams were your ticket out.
and my p-ness shrunk by 30 (…millimeters) in what I like to refer to as Fistallnacht, but I have been really contorting myself to make Kristallnacht jokes for some reason.
"My Wonkette went to Auschfist, and all I got was this lousy p-ness."
Surely, "fucking Cantor" is the #1 cause of diminished pee.
Bretibart, sucking p-ness 24/7.
Fucking Cantor
Not even with Ann Coulter's dick I wouldn't.
Why are you so picky. Just put a bag over his head and imgaine him to be Andy Coulter.
glad you mentioned that about the p-ness, I was wonderin' what happened to all the esteemed Wonketeers who were previously in the 100+ p-ness club and had their p-ness cut in half, ouch! (kinda like bein' in the Mile High club and havin' 'em take the plane down to 2500 ft ain't it?)
jesus christ dems. just ram thru whatever crap you can ram thru in the next month. YOU STILL HAVE MAJORITIES IN BOTH HOUSES AND HOLD THE PRESIDENCY AND IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER IF THE REPUBLICANS ARE MEAN TO YOU!!!1!!
then you can take it easy for the next two years.
i suspect the contrast in achievements can only help in 2012.
Yeah, let the ramming begin. They've pissed off the Italian/Mormon leadership once too many. Kick their asses and let the housewife and pugilist beat the shit out of orange people and their tea tard followers. I agree.
You know what else was founded on an Italian-Latterday Saint partnership?
Las Vegas.
Too bad we don't have a nut-cutter like Oscar Goodman in the Democratic caucus.
Yes. I forget about the Corleone Connection.
my thoughts EXACTLY! Can't Pelosi and Grayson loan the rest of the Dems some large testicles for about 30 days, you can get a lot done before the baby Jeebus comes slidin' down the big ball in Times Square!
Are you sure the dems have the presidency? Because I'm beginning to wonder.
It's so sad, I got an email this morning foretelling the disaster lying in wait for us if the Wizards of Wall Street, AIG management, health-insurance titans, etc. have to pay more taxes. It was from an American working abroad because jobs in his field have dried up here…
The simple fact that people like this have drank the Kool-Aid makes me weep for the future of America.
It takes a special brand of stupid to vote against your own best interests.
I understand one issue voters, the pro/anti gun or abortion types, but when did regular blue collar guys decide it's somehow wrong for billionaires to pay their share? And the passion they feel is beyond me, it's not debating tax policy, it's an attack on the core of their being…
The Repugs are textbook perfect sociopaths…
This guy needs some more arsenic-laden bacteria.
wouldn't just shooting the asshole into space be more fun? (there's no crying in a vacuum!)
I still say let them all expire, including mine. The fuck am I doing with an extra $30 a month, anyway? One more sack of hobo beans ain't gonna make the difference between opulence and flatulence.
Serious & snarkless response: no doubt eventually all the tax cuts will need to lapse, but in a recession marked by low spending, middle class tax cuts probably are actually decent fiscal policy. It's probably a tad short-sighted to make the cuts permanent, but at some point they'll be raised regardless. Legislatively, it would be easier to let them all expire, but economically and politically, it's not a very good idea.
That's 360 bucks a year! Open your own small business, you damned hippie.
In all fairness, this tax cut didn't materialize until last year, making it in fact an Obama tax cut.
Keep chokin' that chicken crap. Asswipe.
I don't see how it could possibly be to his advantage, but the more he talks, the more it seems that Boehner's quotability-as-a-spoiled-14-year-old-girl is almost by design.
Spoiled, UGLY, 14 year old girl.
WTF did Bristol Palin ever do to YOU? Leave her alone! (oh, yer talking 'bout the Boner, nevermind)
Holy Chicken Crap Batman. How will we stop this Pelosi.
No worries Robin. We still have the Senate.
Words Mr. Boehner needs to better understand before using:
Compromise (see: Jack's discussion)
Chicken Crap (the action of a pansy taken to avoid conflict, not a nonsensical (bull,horse) or worthless (dog,rat,cat) action)
Tax Hike (the raising of taxes, not the expiration of a tax break)
Gerrymandering (the redrawing of districts in a manner favorable to a party, not a body passing legislation it wants)
Tax relief to the American people (having a job from which taxes can be culled, not abasing oneself to the poor little rich boys)
Nonsense (to be tackled after the prereqs above are mastered)
I hope Pelosi and Reid slam this through. I would like the republitards to feel like they've been fucked by their own elephant. It is my fondest wish. Since it is xmas season and I've been a good girl (no swapping, bestiality, or whoring) I deserve my xmas wish.
I'm putting in a plea for you with St. Jude, too. Merry Christmas.
Awwww. How sweet. The Patron Saint of Lost Causes. TY Trinket
If it truly does happen, somehow the public will blame liberals and Democrats for… something. I don't know. Mark my words. Somehow liberals will get blamed.
Will the next Congress make the new rallying cry "We must repeal the middle class tax cuts!"?
What a waste! Santa don't bring Orgasms, Pub.
Just my luck a stingy Santa.
Can't answer right now, checking ebay for Santa Suits.
Here comes Santa Claus. Here COMES Santa Claus. And a good Christmas was hard by all and to all a goodnight.
Technically speaking, shouldn't it be lame duck crap?
That's it. I'm taking a dump on his face.
Someone hold him down.
He's a Republican politician: either he'll hate it 'cause you got girl parts near his face, or offer to pay.
You just know he would love it, though.
When did you start going around with Vitter? I figured you to have better taste…
Were talking about 1% of the people here. These convolutions and tortuous nonesense all for 1%.
We ought to be raising the taxes on these people. Or saying you have to get a 99-1 vote in the Senate to do anything.
John Boehner: Bold and Brave Defender of the Richest 1%. Fucking Asswipe.
Perhaps you missed the Citizens United decision? That 1% pays for a lot of TV ads with somber tolling bells in the background and scary voiceovers.
You're right, it's convolutions and tortuous wordplay with somber tolling bells and scary voiceovers.
Is chicken crap the actual cause of Boner's bright-orange tinge?
Radio-active chicken crap.
"Boehner then stamped his foot, threw himself face-down on his office couch, and had a good cry, followed by playing with blocks for a few minutes before his afternoon nap."
If billionaires get a tax cut, the first thing I'm going to do is put a 100% freeze on all my discretionary spending. see how the economy suffers then!
cancel the cell phone plan
shut off the cable
turn off the water heater to cut the gas bill
take out all the lightbulbs to save electricity
take public transportation so I don't have to buy gas for my car
only do oral or anal so the wifey and I won't have to buy condoms or birth control
stock up on cases of diet shakes so we won't have to buy groceries or eat out
stop buying drugs and booze
Okay, maybe not that last one……
I just wish there was some way to cause REAL pain for these assholes with millions that have never known any kind of suffering or hardship, and all they do is whine, whine, whine.
fuckers, all of em.
We could find a way to lower their p scores.
That's all I got.
p scores don't create jobs, breitbart commenters do.
and a GIANT FUCK YOU to the assholes from all of breitbarts faggy little sites that come over here and vote down our comments.
the fact that you think we give one diarrhea squirt of shit about what you think or do just goes to show how miserable and pathetic you are, with your self absorbed pathological narcissism and self-righteous drive to always be "right" or "winning" at something.
FUCK. YOU. ,~~||~~, ,~~||~~,
(that's two middle fingers way up for the breitTARDS lurking on wonkette. losers)
Going all anal does rather sound like a lot of pain for somebody's asshole.
yeah, butt I having been fisting like mad for the last 36 hours.
Just like the teabaggers — party like it's 1774.
What Would the Fondling Fathers Do?
That's right. Give the upper crust, landed gentry, job creators, poor rich fucking assholes their inalienable rights to MORE money.
So the restriction to oral and anal is depriving you, how?
I'm willing to do it, to hurt the economy
Hurt? K-Y always works for me.
Wow. He must be really angry. Orange with rage, if you will.
Boner vs. Pelosi. Should they settle the matter with a fiddle contest or banjo duel?
Jello wrestling.
If the people who stole the money out of my 401K have to pay more taxes, I'm going to be very upset. Without financial innovators like Bernie Madoff and the vampire squids of Goldman Sachs, where would we be today? Hell, we owe them!
A few years ago I had to stop the bleeding by transferring mine to short term money market funds which worked OK at preserving what little capital I had left, until yesterday. Now I'm actually earning negative interest. I never saw that coming.
My broker is EF Hutton, and EF Hutton says….
We're all fucked.
Leave it to someone who is so full of shit that he has his own futures board on the Chicago Mercantile Exchange to let fly an expletive like "chicken crap."
The Democrats should have stood firm denied the tax cut extension let the taxes on ALL Americans go up Jan 1 and THEN done a deal to get the taxes on 93% of Americans cut and let the rich pay more. Call it Socialist, call it Marxist call it any damned thing you want to call it. When 5 % have 70% of the money the rules change. The rules have always changed when an imbalance of wealth becomes intolerable, France, Russia, England, and India to name some better known revolutions that leveled the "playing field". America is no different than any other country when this imbalance exists. I would rather have a voting party that can stand up for the rights of the many against the machinations of the few than have all out revolt and innocents on both sides be hurt or worse.
Chicken crap is very good fertilizer, so maybe that's the plan to help Democrats grow a pair.
If Boehner had even an hundredth the political/rhetorical skill with which the public relations arm (POLITICO) of the Republican Party would like to credit him, the Gentleman from Ohio would phrase this as a Zen koan: "Be the compromise you want to see in the world".
If only Alvin Green were incoming Speaker….
We are the ones we've been waiting for to concede.
When jowly, white dudes who shill for corporations curse and get shouty, they're just being principled and passionate.
But see Nancy Pelosi is from a city that thinks gays are okay AND a is a woman according to reports. So when she speaks out in favor of her policies or just cold passes historic legislation, she's "shrill" and "out of touch with Americans," etc. etc.
"chicken crap" is Boehner's "rosebud"
Boner, what a rooster-fellator.
Dear Repigs,
If you're going to toss around words like chicken shit, socialism, marxism, nazi, communism and fascism, you must have at least a basic understanding of what those words mean (hint: they're NOT synonymous!)
Please don't cry again, Boehner. You have a face like a burst appendix.
Well, he does have to preserve the dignity of his Office as a Corporate Shill and all around asshole.
Chicken Crap? Gee, golly whiz, Mr. Speaker-to-be, you really are a regular guy, aren't you? Whillakers! I'd hate to see you when you really get mad! That's got to be a knee-slappin' toad stranglin' county fair of an event! Well, I've got to go lie down awhile now. All this excitement is a' given' me the vapors. Bye-bye! Martha! Did you hear that? Mr. Boner said "Chicken Crap"! Ain't he the Cat's Meow? I just love him!
Has Mitch McConnell come out of the closet yet? I lost track.
Anyway, this morning he was whining because he said the Democrats were not respecting the results of the election.
Come to think of it, he must still be in the closet.
All Republicans should be allowed to exercise their constitutionally guaranteed dictatorial powers. Anything short of this is treason.
Meanwhile, the Repugs ordered another crapper built for the "little ladies": http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northam...
Their first real decision in a long time.
Bachmann didn't vote on this bill BTW chickened out or was having a (%&$
When Boner gets mad, what color does he turn?
He turns into a black man; a slightly sanguine-faced black man. Or maybe a Mexican.
Hell, what do I know of how colors mixed? I forgotten everything about my high school art class.
If'n the Boner don't play more nicer, Pelosi's gonna take him- on her jet- to S.F. and show the chickenshit chickenhawk what cocksuckin'/ assrapin' is REALLY like (of course he'll LOVE it!)
I, for one, welcome our immature, potty-mouthed overlord.
Damn, will I miss sweet Nancy's beautiful, expresionless/motionless face.
I haz the sadz.
But not before you!
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