WONKETTE WORLD O' BOOKS  11:07 am December 2, 2010

Sarah Palin Reflects On Stuff, Via Ghostwriters

by Greer Mansfield

Incorporating Washington Post Book World.Surely you’ve been wondering lately, “HMMM, what makes better Hanukkah reading: Sarah Palin’s new book, or that infinite library of Wikileak’d State Department telegrams?” If you enjoy endless Reports of the Obvious (“TOP SECRET: Arabs don’t like Iran!”) and the occasional bitchy gossip item (“Vladimir Putin: DRAG QUEEN BY NIGHT, or so I’ve heard”), go with the Wikileaks document dump. If you prefer something more Exceptionally American Exceptionalist, go with eight copies of America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag by our tawdry nation’s premier media figure. What lurks therein, to degrade civilization and the human soul?

America by Heart is, as its subtitle promises, a book of “reflections,” Sarah’s Thoughts on Everything. It hardly needed to be 269 pages, though. She could have pared this thing down to essentials instead of just restating her Important Thoughts in varying ways over nine chapters. But what ARE those Important Thoughts?

First, Sarah wants you to be Henry Fonda:

There was a time when our popular culture shared the American people’s admiration of our fighting men and women. They didn’t just mouth words about “supporting the troops” while they trashed everything our soldiers were fighting for, the way they do today. Even Hollywood celebrities risked their lives…Jimmy Stewart….Henry Fonda…Later, Elvis Presley…

Got that, soldier? Being Henry Fonda is all well and good until you spawn Hanoi Jane, of course. Before you know it your offspring will be cavorting nude in space and filming romantic comedies opposite Robert Redford. Oh God, and then there’s PETER Fonda to deal with…I don’t think Sarah knows what she’s getting herself into here.

Sarah would also like you to know that she and Hillary Clinton could be good friends if Hillary wasn’t such a militant feminazi:

Remember Hillary Clinton’s famous rant, when her husband was running for president, that she wasn’t, in her words, “some little woman standing by my man like Tammy Wynette?” Hillary is someone I like and admire personally in many ways, but she came across then as someone frozen in an attitude of 1960s bra-burning militancy.

Hillary is a fire-breathing radical! Who knew? This particular fragment comes from a chapter titled “Rise of the Mama Grizzlies,” which Sarah spends telling us she’s super-feminist. But not the wrong kind of feminist.

“Liberal feminism,” she writes, “tells American women that they can’t value life and call themselves women.” Hmm?

The rest of the book is mostly devoted to “faith,” Ronald Reagan worship and vague implications that Sarah Palin is somehow exactly like Margaret Thatcher.

Also, America sure is XXXceptional! Just ask 19th-century traveling French person Alexis de Tocqueville:

Tocqueville said that three things—American customs (particularly our religious heritage), law (particularly our commitment to federalism, or states’ rights), and geography combined to make “the position of the Americans…quite exceptional, and it may be believed that no democratic people will ever be placed in a similar one..”

Tocqueville’s vision of an exceptional system of government combining with an exceptional people to produce an exceptional country is echoed in the writings of American scholars today. Sociologist Charles Murray explains…

We won’t go on to the Murray quotation, but Sarah is correct here. Alexis the Frog did indeed see America as different from pretty much every other society in history. That’s why he wrote the following:

I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America…

In America the majority raises formidable barriers around the liberty of opinion; within these barriers an author may write what he pleases, but woe to him if he goes beyond them. Not that he is in danger of an auto-da-fé, but he is exposed to continued obloquy and persecution. His political career is closed forever, since he has offended the only authority that is able to open it. Every sort of compensation, even that of celebrity, is refused to him.

That part, strangely, isn’t quoted in America by Heart. Or in any of the meaningless articles and books that try to present Tocqueville as some kind of 100%-approving America-booster eager for the whole world to adopt our ways.

Anyway, Sarah Palin has no problem with the compensation of celebrity, and that’s why people are buying this hard-bound Facebook post. Jesus Christ…

SPEAKING OF JESUS CHRIST, we’re in the middle of a Jewish festival of lights, are we not? So Happy Hanukkah to Wonkette’s Hebrew readership! Why not redeem this sordid fish-in-a-barrel blog post with a seasonal poem written by criminally neglected American poet Charles Reznikoff?

Hanukkah

In a world where each man must be of use
and each thing useful, the rebellious Jews
light not one light but eight—
not to see by but to look at.

Charming, don’t you think?

America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag by Sarah Palin, HarperCollins, 269 pages, $12.99

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 168 comments }

SystemError December 2, 2010 at 11:11 am

Tocqueville’s vision of an exceptional system of government combining with an exceptional people to produce an exceptional country is echoed in the writings of American scholars today. Sociologist Charles Murray explains…

This sounds like an excerpt from a bad freshman Poli Sci 101 essay.

Katydid December 2, 2010 at 11:20 am

David Steinberg said it best:

Here is comedian David Steinberg's old routine about taking an exam when you are so clueless, you don't even understand the question:

(As if reading the test question:) "Refute the allegation that the literature of the middle ages was moribund."
(As if writing:) "Some believe that the literature of the middle ages was moribund. Some believe that the literature of the middle ages was not moribund. I believe that the literature of the middle ages was not moribund. In order to refute the allegation that the literature of the middle ages was moribund, one would need to have a detailed knowledge of the literature and history of that period."
(Whispering to self) "which I wish to God I had."

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 11:24 am

Yeah, there's some heavy straining going on there to wedge in the topic of the paper into the lede, and horrific grammar. I'd be tempted to run it through Turnitin and see what it spits out as source material.

Murray? Really? That's the go to follow up – a discredited libertarian hack in residence at the AEI whose "best" work was utterly non-scientific and almost 20 years old. Just keep fucking that chicken, Sarah.

elviouslyqueer December 2, 2010 at 3:00 pm

I'd be tempted to run it through Turnitin and see what it spits out as source material.

DO IT. I called bullshit on this after reading the first sentence, since there's no way in hell that tundra trailer trash could've read de Tocqueville, let along spell his name correctly.

glindsey1979 December 2, 2010 at 11:27 am

An *exceptionally* bad essay.

Lascauxcaveman December 2, 2010 at 12:29 pm

History reminds us that de Tocqueville found the baby back ribs and brisket at Toots' BBQ shack in Kansas City "exceptional," also and too.

doxastic December 2, 2010 at 11:34 am

"As sociologist Charles Murray explains…black people are innately inferior, and thus Toqueville's exceptional people should be interpreted to refer exclusively to whites."

Radiotherapy December 2, 2010 at 2:13 pm

I wouldn't give this toilet paper a C-.

evan7257 December 2, 2010 at 11:11 am

Weren't all those soldier celebrities drafted into service?

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:36 am

Elvis heroically fought for freedom in Germany, far from any actual danger. Two years and out.

HateMachine December 2, 2010 at 12:07 pm

Elvis heroically protected our proud American Freedumbs by banging a bunch of Army nurses overseas.

Lascauxcaveman December 2, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Somebody had to do it.

FNMA December 2, 2010 at 1:36 pm

For which Elvis received the Medal of Commendation with White Panty Clusters.

elviouslyqueer December 2, 2010 at 3:07 pm

And he even got a handjob from Nixon.

GOPCrusher December 2, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Ronnie Raygun made a bunch of movies that saved us from the Red Menace.

gvvt December 2, 2010 at 11:10 pm

Both Stewart and Fonda enlisted. Stewart apparently served with particular distinction in WWII; he also had some involvement in Vietnam.

HistoriCat December 3, 2010 at 11:34 am

Stewart stayed kept it up long after WWII.

From imdb –
He was the first movie star to enter the service for World War II, joining a year before Pearl Harbor was bombed. He was initially refused entry into the Air Force because he weighed 5 pounds less than the required 148 pounds, but he talked the recruitment officer into ignoring the test. He eventually became a Colonel(active duty) & then Brigadier General in the United States Air Force Reserve., and earned the Air Medal, the Distinguished Flying Cross, the Croix de Guerre and 7 battle stars. In 1959, he served in the Air Force Reserve, before retiring as a brigadier general. (Walter Matthau was a sergeant in his unit).

BorderJumper! December 2, 2010 at 11:12 am

Goddammit, Wonkette. You couldn't make it 2 days without posting something about this brainless twat, could you?

LetUsBray December 2, 2010 at 11:17 pm

I like making fun of the brainless twat and her trailer-park camelot of a family.

Weenus299 December 2, 2010 at 11:14 am

You know the Faked Alaska "Writer Person/Bitch" was at my Million Books location yesterday? Signing her book? Do you know I wasn't there? And didn't care?

I went to sleep feeling a tad smarter.

mrpuma2u December 2, 2010 at 11:23 am

You should have gone and heckled, and then one of her security would have handcuffed you or stepped on your head (SOP in their heckler handling manuals written by Rand Paul's Sturmabteilung) and VOILA your 15 seconds of fame.

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:37 am

Alaskunt.

I'm never going to quit saying this.

trampndirtdown December 2, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Say it for Lizzie

DaSandman December 2, 2010 at 11:14 am

Auto-de-fe /The Grift…Hmmm make an interesting late night TV spectacle…

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 11:14 am

Does she know de Tocqueville was (gasp) French?

"What's your favorite work by de Tocqueville, Sarah?"
"Oh, ALL of them!!"

Palin quoting de Tocqueville—I have some cognitive dissonance here. Actually, I think the earth is going to spin out of it's orbit and crash into the sun.

Katydid December 2, 2010 at 11:25 am

Is there a chance in hell that she had ever heard of de Tocqueville until her ghostwriter wrote this part? It's blindingly obvious which parts caribou barbie wrote and which parts were written for her. Any word with an ending "g," caribou didn't write, for example.

doxastic December 2, 2010 at 11:40 am

Given that her summary was "Tocqueville says America RULEZ 4EVA!" I'm guessing she definitely didn't read Democracy in America….

SorosBot December 2, 2010 at 12:11 pm

Next thing you'll claim that "Born in the USA" isn't about how America is awesome.

Texan_Bulldog December 2, 2010 at 11:41 am

I was thinking the exact same thing. Someone said, 'Hey, you need to namedrop some fancy foreign names in here so your rube fans will think you are SOOOO smart.'

Katydid December 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

Why doesn't that make her a liberal elite who lurves the cheese-eating surrender monkeys?

BorderJumper! December 2, 2010 at 11:42 am

I'd pay money to hear her pronounce "Tocqueville"

GOPCrusher December 2, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Probably Tookville. And she thinks it's slang for Canada.

LetUsBray December 2, 2010 at 11:20 pm

My money's on To-cue-ville.

johnnymeatworth December 2, 2010 at 11:14 am

Elvis was a tank operator in Germany between 1958 and 1960. Short of dating a 14 year old girl, I don't see how he risked his life in the Army….

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 11:17 am

Well, if Khruschev had sent the Red Army through the Fulda Gap, it would have been all she wrote.

johnnymeatworth December 2, 2010 at 11:21 am

Indeed, and then I wouldn't have had to sit through Harum Scarum and Kissin' Cousins. I guess you take the good with the bad.

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 11:27 am

Well, that's a small sacrifice on your part to keep the Commies out of Paris. And Mary Tyler Moore was hot as that nun in Change of Habit.

johnnymeatworth December 2, 2010 at 2:57 pm

No lie. Also, Ann-Margret.

DashboardBuddha December 2, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Agreed, but part of me wonders if Elvis would have been airlifted out of there first.

ttommyunger December 2, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Suffered for years from PTSD (all those flashbulbs constantly going off in his face). Bravely suffered in silence, though and never even applied for a Purple Heart. Drugs, sadly, were his only escape from the horror of the experience.

Grief_Lessons December 2, 2010 at 11:15 am

When they said "repent, repent" I wonder what they meant?

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:39 am

Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

HempDogbane December 2, 2010 at 12:12 pm

I prefer Closing Time, especially when Sarah is rubbing up against my thigh.

SayItWithWookies December 2, 2010 at 11:16 am

They're only buying Palin's book for the pictures.

Moonbatting Average December 2, 2010 at 11:16 am

Slightly off topic, but I just watched Fargo for the first time in like 10 years, and this bitch and her voice nearly ruined the movie for me. Every "you betcha!" made me cringe. I may never be able to comfortably visit the upper Midwest.

glindsey1979 December 2, 2010 at 11:29 am

I say "you betcha" a lot in a semi-ironic fashion, as well as "dont'cha know". But then I was doing that way before anybody knew of Snowbilly.

mrpuma2u December 2, 2010 at 11:33 am

I think the part in Fargo where the sherrif/protagonist is interviewing the 2 hookers was an unintended cautionary tale against Caribou Barbie and others of her intellectual ilk.

freakishlywrong December 2, 2010 at 11:37 am

That scene is perfection.

FNMA December 2, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Go Bears.

Refudiation December 2, 2010 at 11:16 am

I thought we didn't like French people? I'm so confused …

DangerHelvetica December 2, 2010 at 2:41 pm

We liked French people, up until the point they started having their own opinions.

Weenus299 December 2, 2010 at 11:17 am

"(particularly our commitment to federalism, or states’ rights)"

Fucking Christ! Somebody find this ghost writer and treat him or her humanely, or torture him or her, in a detention facility!

twaingirl December 2, 2010 at 12:04 pm

and people say we have a poor education system….wonder where they got that idea?

slithytovesss December 2, 2010 at 11:17 am

If Palin has read de Tocqueville then I'm Napolean.

prommie December 2, 2010 at 12:34 pm

And I am Marie of Roumania.

run_said_ran December 2, 2010 at 2:10 pm

Oh, oh! Can I be Robin?

natoslug December 2, 2010 at 11:18 am

I admit ignorance: I've never read anything by de Tocqueville. That said, I really expected the rest of his quote to be "So don't fuck it up, America." Which would have finally explained why we, contrarians that we are, almost elected the queen of the half-term as our VP.

Mumbletypeg December 2, 2010 at 11:44 am

Do yourself a favor: check his quotes in wikipedia or your favorite time-wasting (re-)search engine. I had to read him in freshman poli-sci way before I was mature enough to appreciate his perspective on our politi-cultural landscape, which holds up well enough rereading him (even just soundbites of it) today.

horsedreamer_1 December 2, 2010 at 11:18 am

How's that remaining, binning thing workin' out?

ManchuCandidate December 2, 2010 at 11:19 am

Silly Sarah… Henry Fonda was a bleeding heart liebrul who was friends with noted conservative (not conservatard) Jimmy Stewart and they rarely discussed politics while hanging out because Fonda would go all Mr Roberts on Mr Smith and usually win the argument to the anger of "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance."

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:41 am

When Roger Vadim was fucking Jane Fonda, do you suppose he was thinking, "I'm fucking Henry Fonda's daughter, so my contributions to cinema are greater than Fonda's, which I will prove by humiliating his daughter in one of the worst movies ever made."?

ManchuCandidate December 2, 2010 at 12:04 pm

You pretty much sum up Vadim's joke of a career. Fucking the hottest women and then ruining them in his lousy pics.

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Nice work, though, if you can get it.

GuyClinch December 2, 2010 at 11:19 am

Am I the only one who, when looking at that book cover, sees the devil? The A and I in PALIN are perfectly placed as little horns. Maybe a graphic designer at HarperCollins was having a little subliminal fun?

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 11:35 am

Needz moar Snidely Whiplash mustache & goatee graffiti.

GOPCrusher December 2, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Sarah Palin as Ming The Merciless.

comrad_darkness December 2, 2010 at 4:36 pm

Rogue |rōg|
noun
1 a dishonest or unprincipled man : you are a rogue and an embezzler.
• a person or thing that behaves in an aberrant, faulty, or unpredictable way : he hacked into data and ran rogue programs.

Hm . . . . sounds like Satan . . . doesn't it?

and . . .
verb [ trans. ]
remove inferior or defective plants or seedlings from (a crop).

As in We sure need to rogue out the idiot politicians

AND . . .
"related to obsolete slang roger"

Which, I believe in merry old Britain, still means to have intercourse with.

So, Palin herself in her last book informed us "she is a hell spawn kicked out of the netherworld to fuck us all over. " Well, she didn't need to tell us that, but at least she's honest.

Badonkadonkette December 2, 2010 at 11:21 am

(particularly our commitment to federalism, or states’ rights)

OK, here's the thing. I've haven't read all the Federalist Papers, but from what I have, it seems pretty fucking clear to me that Madison, Hamilton, and Jay – the Federalists who wrote the Federalist Papers (and Madison wrote the Constitution to boot) actually advocated a very powerful federal government which was absolutely more powerful than the individual states. It was the Anti-Federalists who pushed, and got, the Bill of Rights, which was intended to restrict the power of the federal government.

Can one of my more smarterer Wonketteers please clear this up for me? Am I stupid, or is Sarah Palin a revisionist and stupid pig with absolutely no clue that our country was actually founded on princples of compromise and vigorous, informed, open debate between people with vastly different views – you know, everything she abhors.

Um, sorry, no snark, but I find nothing funny about this grimy pig mouthing words about supporting the troops while actively trying to undermine everything they're fighting, and dying, to preserve.

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 11:42 am

Okay, you asked for it (and it will come in multiple parts, sorry):

The Federalist papers (and later the Federalist Party) advocated a relatively strong federal government. The Federalist papers take their name from the paper that initially printed them, and the association has grown to a point where most people assume Federalist = Constitutionalist/strong central government.

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 11:43 am

Pt 2

However, the group who have been labelled the "Anti-Federalists" in history considered themselves the true champions of federalism (small f), and resented the use of the term "Federalist" to describe the pro-Constitution movement. The small f version of federalism was arguably a weak confederation system with most powers in the state government or the people – i.e., the Articles of Confederation. People like Patrick Henry, for example, believed that a strong central government was contrary to liberty but still claimed to support a "federal" system to join the states at some level.

Fare la Volpe December 2, 2010 at 11:46 am

is Sarah Palin a revisionist and stupid pig

You can't revise something you don't know to begin with.

Badonkadonkette December 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

Touché

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 11:51 am

Pt. 3
Now, the anti-Federalists, by all accounts, lost the battle over both the name and the direction of the country (thanks in no small part to Chief Justice John Marshall and the fact that every Jeffersonian Democrat to get elected seized as much or more power than their Federalist counterparts), but there has been a long string of adherents to the view that the A-feds were the true champions of federalism – that's why, for example, the conservative to libertarian wing of the bar is dominated by the so-called "Federalist Society." So her ghostwriters are both being duplicitous and inarticulate, but not outright lying (I doubt they grasp the nature of what they are saying).

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 11:57 am

Pt 4 (the end, hopefully)

de Tocqueville also recognized the fundamental difference between classical, small f federalism (such as the cantonment system of Switzerland or the German Electorate) and the Constitutional system embraced in the US. He specifically noted that unlike prior confederations or the Articles, the Constitution didn't rely on the states for enforcement but vested power in a national executive. He also keyed on one of the major points of opposition of the Anti-Federalists – that the Congress and executive could turn to the people, rather than the states, as both the source of their sovereignty and basis for enforcing the law.

In other words, while he noted the generally small minded nature of US towns and states, he saw the Federal government (in the big F sense) transcending it and thus creating a strong nation. In sum, SP's dream writers are a bunch of hacky douchebags.

Badonkadonkette December 2, 2010 at 12:04 pm

Awesome. BerkeleyBear, I believe it can fairly be said that you just crushed Mama Grizzly.

FNMA December 2, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Last time I witnessed such a thorough evisceration, it involved my dog and a squirrel.

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 2:01 pm

De nada. I fucking hate it when anyone tries to boil down hundreds of pages and years of history into a punchline like her ghosts did. Problem is, so few people have a clue or care to scratch the surface even a little – sort of like how a whole generation was convinced the Soviets had nothing to do with the end of WWII because John Wayne single handedly killed all the Nazis and Japs with nothing but a grimace and a good right hook.

twaingirl December 2, 2010 at 12:08 pm

i like how you called it jeffersonian democrats rather than the republicans, by which they referred themselves. was that intentional so people wouldn't get the his reps and our rethugs confused?

also, i think you'd blow her mind when you point out that TJ did NOT write the constitution cuz he was too busy banging Sally H in Paris.

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm

The whole Republican-Democrat to Republican to Jacksonian Democrat and Federalist to Whig to split into, among other things, Abolitionist, Unionist and Moderate Republicans to so on confuses the hell out of me.

I call the early small government party Jeffersonian Democrats because that's how I was taught to think of them, as the Republican-Democrat thing is pretty unclear in modern terms and Dems historically trace their party to Jefferson and Jackson, while modern GOP is the party of Fremont and Lincoln. Keeps it all cleaner for modern analysis, despite being anachronistic.

trampndirtdown December 2, 2010 at 10:46 pm

If you don't mind I'm still going to think of you as a "bear" and not a Cal grad lol.

Midway117 December 2, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Thank you for condensing a few years of school into a few paragraphs. The intertubes is wunderbar! And I know about the Swiss cantons because I am a frequent patron of Baumgartner's Tavern and Cheese Shop in Monroe, Wisconsin, which features a large mural of the country and the cantons on its wall.

slappypaddy December 2, 2010 at 1:34 pm

"is Sarah Palin a revisionist and stupid pig with absolutely no clue"?

that part of your question was such a softball, who could resist? but "absolutely no clue" is inaccurate. she has grifting down pat.

SorosBot December 2, 2010 at 11:22 am

Do you know why most Americans didn't "trashed everything our soldiers were fighting for", as Sarah puts it, in World War II? Because there's a difference between fighting against an overtly evil ideology which was to take over much of the world and fighting against people whose country we've taken over and who just want us out.

Oh, and there were some Americans who did oppose our fighting in World War II, such as Henry Ford, Charles Lindbergh and Prescott Bush. All were right-wingers who actually supported the Nazis and Fascists, and wanted to make the US Fascist as well.

Refudiation December 2, 2010 at 11:26 am

No kidding. It wasn't like we rushed in to shut Hitler down the minute he started blathering about taking over the world. There was plenty of "not our problem" and "nothing to see here" to share.

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:43 am

But when the Japanese started to threaten our interests in China — WAR TIME!

GOPCrusher December 2, 2010 at 2:06 pm

But there were plenty in the America First crowd that claimed that FDR pushed the Japanese to attack Pearl Harbor in order to get America in to the war. They seem to have forgotten that little tidbit of history.

BerkeleyBear December 2, 2010 at 11:59 am

Don't forget thousands of German-Americans who supported the Bund movement and generally didn't see any cause for us to be involved against their comrades. And the many people who oppose all war on principle.

Crank_Tango December 2, 2010 at 11:23 am

Let's see, it goes ctrl+a to select all, ctrl+c to copy, ctrl+v to paste so is ctrl+r to reflect?

Is that how you get these sorta reflections??

YasserArraFeck December 2, 2010 at 11:23 am

Elvis risked his life? The riskiest thing he attempted during his 17 month deployment in post-war Germany was nailing Priscilla without her stepfather finding out.

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 11:31 am

I find this hard to believe given his roots, but he was introduced to amphetamines while stationed in Germany. We all know where that led.

MoeDeLawn December 2, 2010 at 11:35 am

Careful. Elvis (late 50s) and I (early 70s) held that line, so that Ronnie Raygun (late 80s) could WIN!!!!!!!! the COLD WAR!

FNMA December 2, 2010 at 1:52 pm

You nailed Priscilla? Nice.

MinAgain December 2, 2010 at 11:23 am

The only thing that would make Sarah Palin truly "reflective" is a tube of Superglue and a lot of little mirrors.

Badonkadonkette December 2, 2010 at 11:25 am

I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America

No wonder Beck, Palin, and other champions of retarditry love Tocqueville so.

edgydrifter December 2, 2010 at 11:27 am

Sarah Palin is exceptionally stupid.

Terry December 2, 2010 at 11:30 am

"That’s why he wrote the following:"

Oh, burn!

I wonder why she didn't talk about current and former politicians and pundits who also served in the military. Let's look at the list:

Dems:
Jim Webb, Tim Walz, Joe Sestak, Chris Carney, Patrick Murphy, Jack Murtha, Richard Gephardt, David Bonior, Tom Daschle, Al Gore, Bob Kerrey, Daniel Inouye, John Kerry, Charles Rangel, Max Cleland, Chris Dodd, Ted Kennedy, Tom Harkin, Jack Reed, Fritz Hollings, Leonard Boswell, "Pete" Peterson, Mike Thompson, Gray Davis, Pete Stark, Wesley Clark, John F. Kennedy, and others.

Repubs:
John McCain, Don Rumsfeld, Ron Paul, Bob Dole, Duke Cunningham, Jeff Sessions, Wayne Gilchrist, Colin Powell.

Notice any prominent names missing? Notice anything about the length of the lists?

GuyClinch December 2, 2010 at 11:37 am

But John McCain, it must be said, really did distinguish himself in the getting drunk, womanizing and jet-crashing departments.

Terry December 2, 2010 at 11:54 am

True, but still a step up from making movies during WW2.

Katydid December 2, 2010 at 11:44 am

I just read a great expose of what a fucking prick of a dickwad asshole gay-bashing draft-dodging did I mention asshole John Wayne was, and how the mouth-breathers love his movies without caring what lies they all are. Wayne dodged the draft then scooped up all the good roles during WWII, while the better men (and actors) were off fighting. I wish I could remember where I read this great takedown, but I can't.

horsedreamer_1 December 2, 2010 at 11:52 am

But karma got him when the Duke died with 60 pounds of stool impacted in his colon.

That is, if the "Santa Claus Gets a Colonic Irrigation" installment of the Jackass tee-vee show is to be believed. But, then, why would Johnny Knoxville/Santa Claus/P.J. Clapp lie to me?

FNMA December 2, 2010 at 1:54 pm

John Wayne was a fag.

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:45 am

Roger Staubach entertained the admirals by throwing footballs at Cam Ranh Bay. Another heroic freedom fighter. At least he went, although in those days it was payback for the free "education" at Annapolis.

doxastic December 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

Ol G. H. W. Bush gets a slot for his (pretty impressive) time as the youngest Navy aviator in WWII

Terry December 2, 2010 at 11:53 am

Yep, I should have put Poppy Bush on there, not the son, though.

FNMA December 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm

What, no Dubya. He kept Texas, or maybe Alabama, or something, safe. Look it up. While he was in the National Guard, or AWOL, from the National Guard, nobody invaded Texas, or Alabama, or wherever.

Mumbletypeg December 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

Perfect and welcomed response. Both my thumbs applauding, though only one resonates in the green.

ttommyunger December 2, 2010 at 12:50 pm

They also serve who simply stand and wait, lie, steal, cheat swindle and do their best to fuck up their Country.

freakishlywrong December 2, 2010 at 11:30 am

“Liberal feminism,” she writes, “tells American women that they can’t value life and call themselves women.”

I value life asshole. I even value it after it comes out of the womb and it's parents are unemployed and mean, asshole Republicans feed it bootstraps.

Katydid December 2, 2010 at 11:31 am

Would the sociologist Charles Murray she's quoting be the same one who blames "illegitimacy" for an underclass, riddled with crime and bad peoples, because there's no social stigma against "illegitimacy" anymore? Well, I'm sure she knows what he thinks about "illegitimacy," because, you know, she's read everything she writes about.

horsedreamer_1 December 2, 2010 at 11:54 am

But, you forget, white illegitimacy (like Bristol Palin's brood) is just "proactive". With marriage come children, but why not be prepared for that?

Bristol is just planning ahead. Smart, I tell ye.

SnarkoMarx December 2, 2010 at 11:31 am

I just can't look at any more pictures of that hatchet-faced hag with her designer glasses. All I see is red when I try.

Monsieur_Grumpe December 2, 2010 at 11:33 am

Sarah Palin the intellectual?
I will inform everyone when I make visual contact with some soaring swines.

SwanSwanH December 2, 2010 at 11:33 am

Ceptional.

hagajim December 2, 2010 at 11:33 am

I think that the only thing besides obloquy that I want to expose Sarah to is unmentionable….Beck and Palin and the rest of the 'tards who like to hold de Tocqueville haven't really spent a lot of time reading the book – or they don't understand it anyway….

edgydrifter December 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

"Morons don't read deToqueville!"
"Yes they do, Sarah. They just don't understand it."

StillGoinGreen December 2, 2010 at 11:33 am

The only good reflection coming from Sister Snowcunt would be her reflection on the face of the cold Alaskan water, just before somebody held her stupid fucking head under until all worthless life was extinguished!! Just sayin'. UBETCHA!!

Bluestatelibel December 2, 2010 at 11:35 am

I'd bet any money she copied that de Tocqueville stuff out of some poli sci student's Blue Book exam, didn't she?

BaldarTFlagass December 2, 2010 at 11:40 am

Is there a Cliff's Notes version of Democracy in America?

Fare la Volpe December 2, 2010 at 11:42 am

Is there a Cliff's Notes version of America by Heart?

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 11:47 am

Yes, and it's brief enough to block-quote here in its entirety:

America by Heart
by Sarah Palin

Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. More about me, then me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. Some stuff the ghost writer found on-line, then me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me. Also.

The End.

DashboardBuddha December 2, 2010 at 12:57 pm

I thought America by Heart WAS the Cliff's notes version of itself.

SorosBot December 2, 2010 at 12:08 pm

It's a famous book that's very often assigned for college classes, so the answer should be self-evident.

Terry December 2, 2010 at 11:45 am

No, her ghost writer did.

doxastic December 2, 2010 at 11:37 am

Sarah Palin's feminism is so groundbreaking that it bypasses the third wave all together and winds up back at the first again.

DECONSTRUCTED!

CapeClod December 2, 2010 at 11:39 am

The only reflection this bitch is truly interested in is her own.

DashboardBuddha December 2, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Close, but not quite correct – Vampires have no reflection.

Fare la Volpe December 2, 2010 at 11:40 am

our commitment to federalism, or states’ rights



*stroke-induced nosebleed*

comrad_darkness December 2, 2010 at 11:56 am

Words mean what she wants them to mean. And when they don't she makes words up. It must be awesome to be Sarah Palin, Dear Leader, and Holy Mother rolled into one.

trampndirtdown December 2, 2010 at 10:59 pm

I have to disagree that she makes words up to mean things. I instead believe that she makes words up and then tries to defend them to mean things. In other words she just can't admit she misspoke or made a mistake of any kind, making her seem even more ignorant. Refudiate also.

el_donaldo December 2, 2010 at 11:42 am

I highly recommend Reznikoff's Testimony. It's a 2 volume poem – oh, that sounds intimidating, doesn't it, but it's not – crafted out of newspaper articles and accident reports to give a record of a sort of everyday person's brutal encounter with the transformations of American history. Even for people who are not avant-garde poetry fans it's highly accessible and very riveting.

el_donaldo December 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

Wait, you're not my book group are you? You're my drinking alone at home and feeling the urge to rant group. It's so easy to confuse the two that there may as well not be a difference.

twaingirl December 2, 2010 at 12:10 pm

good poetry's all about being drunk anyways.

frostbitefalls December 2, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Yes, it's a great book! Yay!

mereoblivion December 2, 2010 at 11:46 am

I always planned on calling my memoirs Reflections of a Narcissist, but I fear she done beat me to it.

prommie December 2, 2010 at 11:49 am

Oh hey, you know whats cool, is that its a huge bestseller, because SarahPAC spent $500,000 buying up copies of if, thus converting charitable donations into book royalties, while also inflating book sales! She has grown in such a short time into a mighty grifter, from grifting free construction work from State contractors, a small-time scam that building inspectors can pull off, to the very pinnacle of grift-dom, in just 3 years!

SorosBot December 2, 2010 at 12:06 pm

To console yourself, note that good old Mark Twain is outselling her.

Lascauxcaveman December 2, 2010 at 1:20 pm

I think that has something to do with the fact that most books are still bought by people who intend to read them.

PublicLuxury December 2, 2010 at 11:52 am

The ghost writer is making her sound thoughtful, intellectual and educated, all of which the tea tards, her base, despise.

She's going to run for the big bone. She wants to be in the Dog House. Well, bring-it-on. Maybe Boehner will bury the bone right there in the House of Representatives…

Fuck Fuck Fucking Fuck

I'm old enough to remember how the Nixon administration was is shambles, destroyed, criminals all then just 4 years after Ford. The Democrats insisted that Ronnie Raygun couldn't get elected then exposed the country to 12 years of his bullshit via HW. Then watched as a salamander high jacked congress. Then believed it when the Dems were sure that an idiot, drug addict, failure of a businessman, W couldn't be elected. Eight years! Now the Tundra Twat. Please let me die.

Fare la Volpe December 2, 2010 at 11:58 am

I get the feeling she's gonna pull a Fred Thompson: say she's gonna run, give speech after speech that she's gonna run, Twitter all day that she's gonna run, and then just lounge around the house for the rest of the day in her pajamas.

Naturally she'll net 50 million dollars from this effort.

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 12:32 pm

That's a more likely hypothesis. She hasn't had big $$$ long enough to treat wealth as an entitlement yet, plus there's lots of mouths to feed there in Wasilla.

comrad_darkness December 2, 2010 at 11:54 am

“Liberal feminism,” she writes, “tells American women that they can’t value life and call themselves women.”

All those liberal feminists who pointed out it wasn't exactly moral to bomb millions of Iraqis to death are just unpatriotic bitchs, youbetcha.

elpinche December 2, 2010 at 12:38 pm

jesus fucking christ….I'm hoping for that very special graphic and explicit series finale of Sarah Palin's Alaska with the wolf attack. Then politics and reality television can become a little less retarded.

trampndirtdown December 2, 2010 at 11:12 pm

Like the new avatar.

prommie December 2, 2010 at 11:56 am

As Wanda once sorta said, "An Ape can read de Tocqueville, Sarah, he just won't understand it."

SorosBot December 2, 2010 at 11:59 am

Any ape can have an employee read a book by a pseudo-intellectual asshat that contains a misleadingly presented quote from de Tocqueville and just copy that to try and sound all smart and stuff.

prommie December 2, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Sarah so dumb, she thinks the cardinal tenet of Buddhism is "every man for himself. She thinks the Gettysburgh Address is where Lincoln lived. . . .

StillGoinGreen December 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm

There are a lot of similarities between the new majority and a bored, imprisoned ape, carelessly masturbating and slinging his shit at patrons at the zoo. Their target is almost as random as the ape's, but his reasoning is far better – he does it to hit people with shit.

tribbzthesquidz December 2, 2010 at 11:56 am
JoshuaNorton December 2, 2010 at 12:07 pm

I understand that the original working title was "Mindless Ramblings of My Ghost Writer".

Her next book is going to be called "Clubbing the Halibut". (I think I just invented a new wanking euphemism)

DustBowlBlues December 2, 2010 at 12:22 pm

As in, the idea of Todd burning a bra got Sarah so hot that she clubbed his halibut all night.

jim89048 December 2, 2010 at 12:19 pm

If $arah's father wasn't too much of a fucking wingtard for even Northern Idaho, the rest of the planet would have never heard of her.

DustBowlBlues December 2, 2010 at 12:20 pm

Who is this Greer person and what did he do to Ken to get the shit assignment of reading this moronic drivel?

And let's get this straight: Sarah is a post-modernist feminist so Todd does the bra burning in the family.

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Greer reads this crap so we don't have to. I call him an American hero.

Admittedly, the likelihood of me reading a "book" "by" Sarah Palin was already pretty low.

DustBowlBlues December 2, 2010 at 12:28 pm

I used to blame the vile Ken Layne for pulling me BACK (like Al P in the crappy Godfather movie) from getting any worthwhile work done.

Now I realize he simply has his minions transcribe the ignorant babel that comes out of these people mouths, or the mouths of their ghostwriters. It's actually these morons who do the pulling BACK. If they weren't so incredibly ignorant, I wouldn't be compelled to share my scorn with the wonkeratti. Sure, we're elitists who make fun of them (as do most of the fully literate people in this notso exceptional country) but how can we be expected to do anything else? What? Does Sean O'Rushbeck expect us to pretend that any of these shit makes sense? Or that the Teabaggers And Bible Spice groupies aren't a bunch of ignorant asshats smiling as the burglers take everything in their houses, then helpfully point out where grandma's silver flatware is stored? You're being fleeced, you idiots out there (who don't read the wonket, of course).

Fuck, I am so tired of these puppetty nitwits.

DustBowlBlues December 2, 2010 at 12:37 pm

A last note on this and her love-the-troops bullshit. A couple of weeks ago, I read an article in the CS Monitor online (the one, true source for all relevant news) (other than "my" wonkette, of course) about military brass sharing some private concerns that all the troop adulation in this country has given lower level officers a skewed view of their own importance, leading to some of them being insubordinate toward orders because, after all, they're all Superman and fuck the generals and the Sec. of Defense.

Please, wonkeratti-comrades, do not shoot the messenger.

Sorry, folks. And saying this, I know, makes me unpatriotic and unsupportive of our glorious troops and ungrateful for the Normandy invasion, etc. When I opposed the invasion of Iraq, the chickenhawks with their made-in-China magnetic bumper stickers on their gas-guzzlers accused me of the same thing.

Refudiation December 2, 2010 at 8:55 pm

You know, the actual uniform wearers were opposed to going to Iraq. It's a loser, they said — we wouldn't be able to secure the country. Remember Gen Shinseki, "We'll need several hundred thousand troops" to do it, and was publicly humiliated by Rumsfeld? They opposed the surge, too, which was nothing more than Bush's admission that he had fucked up in the first place by not sending enough troops to do the job. It was Rummy, Bush, the American Enterprise Institute and their damn grandiose ideas about shit they know nothing about that thrust the military out there. Believe it or not, the uniformed military is generally unmotivated to do that whole war thing — much easier to hang out at home with the family and all. But when they're told to get to work, they pretty much do it and try to smile about it. Tom Ricks' "Fiasco" has some pretty good examples about the friction between the military and their civilian handlers. Bottom line, though, is I suspect most of the chickenhawk types out there aren't actually in the military (and likely never served at all) — they just like the idea of folks killing brown people.

[footnote: obviously, the military is not some homogeneous group -- some portion of them probably thought invading Iraq was a grand idea, but I don't think that view was widely held among the leadership]

As for the generals and their worry about insubordination, they have little room to talk. The flag officers themselves have been shaping themselves as rock stars unencumbered by the civilian leadership for quite some time. Even Colin Powell was writing well-timed op-ed pieces undercutting presidential objectives, knowing full well he had more clout with the magnetic-ribbon masses than Clinton. Just recently, Lt Gen Mixon felt like he could tell his troops to call Congress and protest repealing DADT, which prompted the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs to tell Mixon he could "vote with his feet." I kind of think they've all gotten a little big for their britches. Richard Kohn wrote the great article, "The Erosion of Civilian Control of the Military in the U.S. Today" in 2002: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0JIW/is_3_

Hmm. That all was a little too wonky, wasn't it? Sorry.

Billmatic December 2, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Boy the idiotic out-of-context and obviously poorly used Tocqueville quote (the ghostwriting hack that would work on this book probably grabbed it from wikiquote) is the icing on the cake. I'm very certain that Sarah never heard of Tocqueville until (if) she reads this book.

ttommyunger December 2, 2010 at 12:54 pm

Ghostwriter? This person needs a Ghosthinker more than any human alive today.

OneYieldRegular December 2, 2010 at 1:00 pm

Greer, for what it's worth, I really liked the poem.

rocktonsam December 2, 2010 at 1:22 pm

$12.99?

Is $arah's book already in the clearance bin?

Seems cheap for all that wisdom.

run_said_ran December 2, 2010 at 1:58 pm

So stopping by my local Books-A-Dozen for the past two weeks, during which time I covertly moved this entire collection of wizdumb from 'New Arrivals' to the $3.97 sale box, wasn't a wasted effort!

You're welcome Merka!

Worthly Wokette Skum December 2, 2010 at 2:51 pm

Sarah? Reflect? I didn't think she even appeared in mirrors.

Slim_Pickins December 2, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Sarah Palin, the American Kim Jong-Il!

MarcelleMarceau December 2, 2010 at 6:54 pm

Ment Ali Il.

LetUsBray December 2, 2010 at 11:43 pm

I still think that's Shrub: Both spend their youths partying and only got the top job because of their dads, after all.

As for Dumbelina, I'm trying desultorily to get the phrase "Trailer-park Hitlerette" to catch on.

problemwithcaring December 2, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Wow. Buckwheat has better grammar and command of the English language.

StarsUponThars December 2, 2010 at 5:05 pm

She reminds me of a song:

"Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell" — Iggy and the Stooges

gingergold December 2, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Please turn the book over for heart wrenching photo of two narcissistic twatters.

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