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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Hola wonkerados.

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46 comments

  1. Badonkadonkette

    I'm telling you that everyone who runs RickSanchezNews is a lot like Rick Sanchez, and a lot of people who run all the other Twitter News Networks are a lot like Sanchez. And you're telling me that the Sanchezes of the world are oppressed? Please.

        1. Negropolis

          That, I do not know, but I do know that it's always Sunny in Philadelphia. At least, that's what my talkie/movie-box tells me.

    1. DoktorZoom

      Well, the Civil Rights movement was engineered by the negroes' Jewish Overlords, so there'd be a certain irony at work there, wouldn't there?

  2. problemwithcaring

    Rich Sanchez is the Rosa Parks of using references to extrordinary people to loudly praise the mediocrity of his kid.

    1. Negropolis

      But, surely, Rick's son is the reincarnation of the Buddha.

      Dolly Llama, get yo laughin' Asian ass to the back-a-da' bus up and quick, now.

  3. Not_So_Much

    If Rosa Parks met someone who named their kid 'Remmy', I think she would kick that person in the balls before making any other important social gesture.

        1. Negropolis

          Hey-Yo!

          Rick names all of his kids after the liquids used in their conception. That's why there is little Samuel Adams Sanchez, and Captain Morgan Sanchez, and the youngest, Four Loko Sanchez, Jr. the III.

          1. PsycWench

            When he lost his job at CNN he branched out past liquids, which is why we can expect Alaskan Thunderfuck Sanchez sometime in 2011.

  4. Texan_Bulldog

    I'd be pretty happy to throw everybody who used 'back of the bus' or got offended by said reference this year under the bus (see Republicans, Fox & Friends, Megyn Kelly, you get the drift).

    1. revmod

      I'm sure all of those rich white people will refuse to get under the bus, and then compare themselves to Rosa Parks.

  5. Zvi_Bleindmeis

    Rick was referring to his bottle of 11-year old Rémy Martin. Eight or ten shots of that stuff and Rick starts having a father-son talk with his bottle about civil rights and public transportation. Or sometimes about Jews.

  6. PsycWench

    Does Rick Sanchez have a selection of variously aged Remmys to choose from? Mark Foley wanted to know.

    1. CapnFatback

      Not unlike the Cat in the Hat, Sanchez keeps each Remmy under the hat of the Remmy one year older. When little three-month-old Remmy takes his hat off, it unleashes a "Voom" that gets Rick his CNN job back and puts all of the other Little Remmys back under Rick's stylized coif.

  7. CapnFatback

    It's good for Mrs. Parks because now that Remmy filled Rick in about this whole bus brouhaha, her courageous stand will no longer be a secret.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    Twitter — when you care enough to express yourself while pissing all over the English language. Sanchez clearly thought that armpit-farting "We Shall Overcome" was just too staid for such an occasion.

  9. ShaveTheWhales

    Assuming that this anecdote is true (it is Rick Sanchez, after all), I want to be clear that I think it's quite groovy that his 11-yo has both learned a significant historical date AND, more importantly, appears to understand why it is significant. Kids are like that; they'll make you proud at the weirdest times.

    Unfortunately, this does not in any way alter the fact that Rick Sanchez himself is a vacuous pretty-boy who failed at even being a token.

  10. ShaveTheWhales

    And, also, too, the mental picture of Freddy Mercury coercing avatars of Thoth into teh ghey has pretty much shut down my cortical function (or was that the Cabernet?).

    Good luck, ibises(pl?). Sounds like you're about as fucked as the rest of us.

  11. NYNYNY

    And remember, it was because of Parks' bravery in standing up to the jews that we have many freedoms we have today. Sometimes you just have to tell the jews "enough's enough!."

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