BABY-SNATCHING CANDIDATES  7:49 pm December 1, 2010

On This Day, We Also Remember Another Civil Rights Icon: Rick Sanchez’s Son

by Jack Stuef

Mazel tov, kid.
Good for the both of them.

Then Rick Sanchez rolled back onto the pile of Cheeto bags and Franzia boxes on which he had been sleeping. [Twitter]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 46 comments }

mrblifil December 1, 2010 at 7:54 pm

Nowadays Rosa Parks would aspire to be an underwear model.

Badonkadonkette December 1, 2010 at 8:12 pm

I'm telling you that everyone who runs RickSanchezNews is a lot like Rick Sanchez, and a lot of people who run all the other Twitter News Networks are a lot like Sanchez. And you're telling me that the Sanchezes of the world are oppressed? Please.

SexySmurf December 1, 2010 at 9:04 pm

I'm not anti-Semitic or anything, but I believe all Sanchezes are dirty.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 1, 2010 at 9:34 pm

Do you believe that Cleveland is always steamy, and trombones rusty?

BarackMyWorld December 1, 2010 at 11:05 pm

You need all your devalued p-score points back for that reply.

Negropolis December 2, 2010 at 12:22 am

That, I do not know, but I do know that it's always Sunny in Philadelphia. At least, that's what my talkie/movie-box tells me.

CalamityJames December 2, 2010 at 1:20 am

…and sweaters Cosby?

Crank_Tango December 1, 2010 at 8:16 pm

Fuck Rosa Parks, is what he meant to say.

neiltheblaze December 1, 2010 at 8:17 pm

I'm sure Rosa Parks would be proud to have Rick Sanchez's approval.

DoktorZoom December 1, 2010 at 11:59 pm

Well, the Civil Rights movement was engineered by the negroes' Jewish Overlords, so there'd be a certain irony at work there, wouldn't there?

problemwithcaring December 1, 2010 at 8:27 pm

Rich Sanchez is the Rosa Parks of using references to extrordinary people to loudly praise the mediocrity of his kid.

Negropolis December 2, 2010 at 12:24 am

But, surely, Rick's son is the reincarnation of the Buddha.

Dolly Llama, get yo laughin' Asian ass to the back-a-da' bus up and quick, now.

Not_So_Much December 1, 2010 at 8:34 pm

If Rosa Parks met someone who named their kid 'Remmy', I think she would kick that person in the balls before making any other important social gesture.

Failure_Artist December 1, 2010 at 10:56 pm

Hey, I have a first cousin once-removed named Remy!

SexySmurf December 2, 2010 at 12:08 am

If I had a cousin named Remy I'd remove him, too.

Negropolis December 2, 2010 at 12:27 am

Hey-Yo!

Rick names all of his kids after the liquids used in their conception. That's why there is little Samuel Adams Sanchez, and Captain Morgan Sanchez, and the youngest, Four Loko Sanchez, Jr. the III.

PsycWench December 2, 2010 at 8:13 am

When he lost his job at CNN he branched out past liquids, which is why we can expect Alaskan Thunderfuck Sanchez sometime in 2011.

horsedreamer_1 December 2, 2010 at 9:46 am

It's fitting in this case, though. Rick Sanchez is a Zero.

Texan_Bulldog December 1, 2010 at 8:35 pm

I'd be pretty happy to throw everybody who used 'back of the bus' or got offended by said reference this year under the bus (see Republicans, Fox & Friends, Megyn Kelly, you get the drift).

revmod December 1, 2010 at 9:06 pm

I'm sure all of those rich white people will refuse to get under the bus, and then compare themselves to Rosa Parks.

PublicLuxury December 1, 2010 at 9:00 pm

Rick Sanchez needs to borrow Rosa Parks' Trucknutz.

DoktorZoom December 2, 2010 at 12:01 am

Rick Sanchez is unworthy to cup Rosa Parks' TruckNutz in his feminine little hands.

the_problem_child December 1, 2010 at 9:06 pm

So Rick thinks that Rosa Parks was a man, married to mrs parks?

738838 December 1, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Rick Sanchez loves Rosa Palm.

Zvi_Bleindmeis December 1, 2010 at 9:26 pm

Rick was referring to his bottle of 11-year old Rémy Martin. Eight or ten shots of that stuff and Rick starts having a father-son talk with his bottle about civil rights and public transportation. Or sometimes about Jews.

Negropolis December 2, 2010 at 12:29 am

Or, especially Jews.

PsycWench December 1, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Does Rick Sanchez have a selection of variously aged Remmys to choose from? Mark Foley wanted to know.

CapnFatback December 1, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Not unlike the Cat in the Hat, Sanchez keeps each Remmy under the hat of the Remmy one year older. When little three-month-old Remmy takes his hat off, it unleashes a "Voom" that gets Rick his CNN job back and puts all of the other Little Remmys back under Rick's stylized coif.

CapnFatback December 1, 2010 at 9:43 pm

It's good for Mrs. Parks because now that Remmy filled Rick in about this whole bus brouhaha, her courageous stand will no longer be a secret.

indecencycmdr December 1, 2010 at 10:18 pm

Today we are all Dirty Sanchezes.

DCHatesMe December 1, 2010 at 10:26 pm

It's good to see Rick n Son are interested in yesterday's news. Make yourself comfortable, RS.

LionelHutzEsq December 1, 2010 at 11:05 pm

I assume that "n mrs parks" stands for "nigger mrs parks," right?

Negropolis December 2, 2010 at 12:31 am

I believe the correct honorific is "Niggeress Mrs. Parks", thank you very much.

LionelHutzEsq December 2, 2010 at 1:29 am

I stand corrected.

BarackMyWorld December 1, 2010 at 11:06 pm

This is like the time the Republicans were shut out of a debate and learned to use twitter.

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Twitter — when you care enough to express yourself while pissing all over the English language. Sanchez clearly thought that armpit-farting "We Shall Overcome" was just too staid for such an occasion.

twoeightnine December 1, 2010 at 11:55 pm

I am shocked.

I never expected that Rick Sanchez would figure out how to reproduce.

Negropolis December 2, 2010 at 12:31 am

He obviously eats after midnight very often; so, it's a wonder there aren't even more of them.

DoktorZoom December 2, 2010 at 12:03 am

Rick Sanchez is only slightly urban.

ShaveTheWhales December 2, 2010 at 1:36 am

Assuming that this anecdote is true (it is Rick Sanchez, after all), I want to be clear that I think it's quite groovy that his 11-yo has both learned a significant historical date AND, more importantly, appears to understand why it is significant. Kids are like that; they'll make you proud at the weirdest times.

Unfortunately, this does not in any way alter the fact that Rick Sanchez himself is a vacuous pretty-boy who failed at even being a token.

ShaveTheWhales December 2, 2010 at 1:44 am

And, also, too, the mental picture of Freddy Mercury coercing avatars of Thoth into teh ghey has pretty much shut down my cortical function (or was that the Cabernet?).

Good luck, ibises(pl?). Sounds like you're about as fucked as the rest of us.

HurricaneAli December 2, 2010 at 3:42 am

I believe the plural is 'ibisii.'

snoopyfan2010 December 2, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Nice, but does his son know the date that Che invaded Cuba???

NYNYNY December 5, 2010 at 5:55 pm

And remember, it was because of Parks' bravery in standing up to the jews that we have many freedoms we have today. Sometimes you just have to tell the jews "enough's enough!."

Negropolis December 6, 2010 at 3:14 am

Happy Hanukkah, y'all!

V572625694 December 2, 2010 at 10:00 am

But Remy-Martin makes a very fine cognac. Maybe not in Rick's liquor cabinet, I grant you.

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